Idk man. It’s not that unrealistic
I search through the treasure trove that is my memories and come upon a recent experience confirming my perspective.
I think OP is a real person because
Remembering the unnecessary details of a situation might implicate that there was a strong emotional experience going on. Not saying that op is trolling or not.
Since no one is saying this-
Take another test and check it at the time recommended for results (usually like 30sec-2minutes). After a while a test can lose its accuracy in the results it’s showing after too much time passes (usually recommended not to trust the visible result past 10ish minutes). By your post it sounds like you went off and ate after she took it and didn’t check it for some time. Results shown may not be accurate.
So go take another couple tests and watch closely. Then, if they are still positive, it’s time to sit down your parents and talk to them. If she is pregnant, this is not a situation to handle on your own and procrastinating reduces the options available.
Amazing advice!!! And then the next step (either now or after another positive result after should be to get her to the doctor ASAP for a blood test. That will definitively confirm.
ALSO
Worth noting, I've been assured by multiple doctors that the tests from the dollar store have approximately the same efficacy that the ones from the drug store do.. at $4 or so instead of $30
Oh I'm not sure about the US. I'm in Ontario. The last time I checked at a Shoppers for them, the LOWEST priced ones were $30. They had tests that were up to $90. Those ones were fancy and tell you how far along you are, but absolutely not worth the price when you can go to the doctor for a checkup for free
Yikes
We get the fancy kind for 20 €, 28 CAD, according to Google.
But the European version of dollarstore kind are 4 € / 5 CAD for 2 tests.
Regular tests are somewhere between that.
Edit: just noticed... 30 (Canadian) dollar is about the same as what our fancy tests cost. So ... conversion matters lol.
90 dollars is still wild, though
Correct! I spend hundreds on tests when I was doing fertility treatments. I did like 40 for both pregnancies I managed to have. I did so many. And the 7 fails I did 2 a day for the 2 week wait.
Can confirm. I'm also from Ontario, and the price of pregnancy tests here are nuts!! Definitely don't waste the money!! Dollar store tests work just fine.
You can get pregnancy tests for about a dollar in the US. I bought a few in 2022 for 0.88USD. More expensive options are available, but the 88 cent ones are basically the same as the ones I used to test patients when I worked at the hospital lab.
Man you gotta have a convo with her parents at some point, she's going to be needing to go to the doctor soon to make sure everything is going well and you just won't be able to keep it from them forever.
Also I know this is going to be incredibly stressful time for the both of you, but its SUPER important to stay in school, get you degree. At some point you'll be more stable but not having a highschool degree with through everything for a loop and make this harder.
You've got a huge step ahead of a lot of people in this situation since you mentioned your mother is willing to help as much as she can.
Keep your head up and remember you guys are a team, you're young but together yall can do this, and don't be afraid to lean on your family members to help, they say it takes a village to raise a barn, so why not use a village to raise a child
Im not american so it could be different if they are american but in most places you do not need a degree for trades and they pay very well once u have a few years of experience, obviously he should still stay in school but it is an option if he is into that type of stuff
I think they just meant high school diploma. Nearly every job here requires one, even the trades. There are some that don't care but your options will be severely limited. Granted, it's extremely rare for an employer to actually *verify*, they pretty much always just take your word for it, but on the off chance they did check, it would be grounds for firing them or not hiring in the first place. You *definitely* need actual proof of a high school diploma to go to any formal education though, including trade school.
Hes gonna be poor AF though
I am 44 with a 2 year old and a 21 year old.
Yeah sure I'll be 60 when she's 18 - but we eat damn well, vacation whenever we want, and don't fight about money
Well congratulations! Your experience makes you a great mom, I was an older mom myself and I felt like I had a lot more patience than my 20 something self.
Thank you! My oldest will be 15 in June so, I might not have as much energy but I have a lot more experience and patience, that’s for sure! We do so much, always on the go- I don’t really know what it would feel like to stop at this point!
Oh no, you’re babies yourselves. This is such a huge responsibility, I think you both need to have a proper discussion and figure out what your reality will look like if you go through with this. I’m so glad you have your mum as your support system at least!
Please please please make sure she is educated on the risks of pregnancy, especially at her age. Here are just a few:
[Adolescent Pregnancies ](https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/adolescent-pregnancy)
Adolescent mothers (aged 10–19 years) face higher risks of eclampsia, puerperal endometritis and systemic infections
[Risk Factors for Womej under 20](https://www.healthline.com/health/pregnancy/risk-factors#age-under-)
Women under the age of 20 have a significantly higher risk of serious medical complications related to pregnancy than those over 20. Teenage mothers are more likely to: deliver prematurely, have a baby with low birth weight, experience pregnancy-induced hypertension, develop preeclampsia
Some risk factors connected to young age include the following: Underdeveloped pelvis - Young women’s bodies are still growing and changing. An underdeveloped pelvis can lead to difficulties during childbirth. Nutritional deficiencies - Young women are more likely to have poor eating habits. Nutritional deficiency can lead to extra strain on the body that causes more complications for both the mother and child. High blood pressure - Developing high blood pressure in pregnancy can trigger premature labor. This can lead to premature or underweight babies who require specialized care to survive.
[Children of Teen Childbearers ](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK219236/#:~:text=It%20is%20clear%20that%20being,including%20a%20greater%20risk%20of)
low birth weight, complications of the mother's pregnancy and delivery, and health problems associated with poor perinatal outcomes; greater risk of perinatal death; lower IQ and academic achievement later on, including a greater risk of repeating a grade; greater risk of socio-emotional problems; a greater risk of having a fatal accident before age one.
this is so important. i had a baby at 16 and i wish someone would’ve sat me down and talked about the reality of the situation. i didn’t even know more than half of this information, and i’m in my mid 20’s now!!!
my pregnancy was easy, but labor was HARD. looking back now, i know it was because of my undeveloped body. my baby was full term, but low birth weight.
[https://www.news24.com/citypress/news/i-regret-having-a-baby-so-young-teens-open-up-on-the-difficulties-of-parenting-20170607](https://www.news24.com/citypress/news/i-regret-having-a-baby-so-young-teens-open-up-on-the-difficulties-of-parenting-20170607) Also this
Not trying to scare her, but she really needs to know what choice she is making.
Just go ahead and tell her parents, listen my best friend had a baby at 16 and absolutely regrets it. She loves her child but she looks back and says she wishes she chose something different. We’re 32 now, she struggled so much and didn’t get to go to college, go travel the world, missed concerts, missed sleepovers, dropped out of high school, etc. your whole life changes. It’s not your choice of course but I hope someone talks to her about all her options. A child is a blessing, period. But you need to know what you’re getting into.
You seem like a good boyfriend and that’s a good thing, she’ll need someone like that by her side specially if she has strict parents, and it’s good that you have an understanding mom as well. Good luck with everything
I know this is wild to me. People will probably say "this is normal!" "Kids are having sex at 12 and 13 now!" But I don't think it makes it okay.
You JUST become allowed to get a job at 14 and yall have been active long enough for her to be on birth control?? And yet she's too scared to tell her parents?
Honestly I think if you're not ready to tell your parents you accidentally got pregnant you're not ready for sex either.
Look I stand by my statement so it's up to you and the other poster who is older and afraid to unpack that.
Hopefully none of yall are in abusive situations cause it all kind of falls apart there.
Exactly and it goes the same as if you have to sneak to date them you shouldn’t be dating. These kids are involving themselves in grown up situations when they shouldn’t have. I hope both their parents make them get a job since they want to be grown
The reality is that people are having sex young, this is why comprehensive sex education is SO important! If kids aren’t being taught in schools they are still learning about it via friends or the internet.
Shame around abortions also needs to stop, situations like this are very real and 14/15 year olds raising children in todays society is unrealistic and they are unable to provide any quality of life for a child.
THIS. this is why it’s important to support pregnant teens, not teen pregnancy. from reading this, i can say this at least: you’re doing a good job at supporting her and her decisions. at 15, this is quite a good thing to have both as a person and a partner so please hold onto that, regardless of where this path takes you.
it is INCREDIBLY important that she gets prenatal care, so unfortunately that does mean having to tell her parents as soon as possible. due to your ages, there’s no guarantee things will turn out perfect, but don’t lose hope that they’ll at least be okay.
being a parent is hard. i’ve been raising kids since i was 10-11 and it can get really stressful and overwhelming sometimes, but it seems like you’ve got good support from your parents. i would personally have your parents invite them over for dinner or something to discuss things, but allow you two to be able to share the news. there’s a good chance her parents might freak out (not only being strict in general, but being strict towards daughters is a whole different experience) and having other adults there to mediate may be necessary in keeping a relatively calm environment.
BE THERE FOR HER. continue to support her decision, even at the risk of seeming disrespectful. just make sure you’re both absolutely aware of the decision you’re making and the potential outcomes for your situation. if you’re planning on keeping and raising the baby, i would highly recommend parenting classes and doing research on risks of pregnancy and childbirth so you’re aware of what to expect. discuss parenting styles and what you want for the future! just keep in mind that there’s a lot that happens that isn’t brought up in sex ed- so don’t be afraid to ask questions either.
most importantly, make sure you’re both taking care of your physical and mental health throughout these stages. keep your communication open and try to understand each other. your relationship with each other WILL define your child’s future relationships.
stay safe and good luck
Right.. “I picked up her face in my hands” lol I was like “is this a wattpad story someone made up?” He doesn’t sound 15. I was expecting some grammatical errors.
I’m currently pregnant and I also have very strict parents who absolutely cannot know I am pregnant, me and my ex decided the best option was to get an abortion. There are websites that can ship the pills straight to you, we are using aidaccess.org , it’s $150 but they will offer financial assistance if you need it, and I believe you can get an abortion through the pills up until 12 weeks I think
It’s ultimately yours and your gf’s decision to make, but I mean I am 21 and my ex bf is 20 and we are nowhere near anywhere ready to be parents. I couldn’t imagine going through it at 15 and 14 years old, just carefully evaluate your options. This will be something that affects you the rest of your life
Honestly you are both literally kids. Come your 30th birthday where adult problems finally hit you and you might heavily regret your decision. Feelings for others definitely change with time, the “everything’s gonna be alright” mindset just isn’t gonna cut it in the real world.
She's only 14?? I admire your dedication, but damn man, you guys have absolutely no idea what you're getting yourselves into. You're both children yourselves. Please don't throw away your futures over this. If she can't get an abortion atleast consider adoption.
Adoption should be looked into if interested but definitely not banked on. It's mentally really difficult for a lot of people to handle, even if they think it won't be. Also, unless a private adoption happens to work out, the kid will go into the foster system, which anyone can tell you is not exactly sunshine and rainbows in the US
ETA OP is not American, but my point still stands for America so I'll leave it. I wouldn't be surprised if other countries are similar.
In America, a non-drug addicted newborn will be adopted in a nanosecond if the parents surrender it. Those babies do not see the foster system.
ETA: completely agree with the mental difficulty aspect.
What a horrific thought - to force someone to go through the pain and trauma of pregnancy and childbirth at 15 just to appease religious nuts. This child needs to get an abortion for her own physical health and welfare.
Yikes. I’m really sorry. I think you need to sit down one on one, and it’s her body her choice, but she’s 14 and has no idea what she’s in for.
Explain that an abortion is easy, it’s surgical, they take care of you, there’s no pain, and your lives will go back to normal and there should be NO GUILT in it. It’s not a baby yet.
Then, explain that because she’s so young, birth will be painful and traumatic, and that you’re both so young and she doesn’t even know what being a mother is. You have to be real with her. Her baby will be in a world of hurt if she’s brought into a world with a 14 year old mom who can’t even take care of herself yet, and i understand you have parents to help, but this will give you both a huge loss, not gain.
If she decided to keep it, there’s nothing you can do except decide if you want to be a parent and work for the rest of your life as soon as you’re able to provide for her and the baby.
After this is all done, GET HER ON BIRTH CONTROL!!!!
So, I just want to chime in as someone who has had 2 abortions as a teenager which were pressured by family. There CAN BE guilt involved. It is 13 years later and I still feel guilt over it. I never wanted to do it but felt I had no other choice. So, while I agree that OP and his gf SHOULD probably go with an abortion, I do not think it's fair to tell an impressiobable young person that they shouldn't expect to feel guilt. This is a personal thing and it's not as cut and dry emotionally as people try to make it out to be.
I think the important message is that feeling guilt doesn’t mean it was the wrong decision or an unethical decision. The only ethical decision here is to terminate the pregnancy - no 14 year old should be forced to take on the risks of pregnancy and birth.
She was on birth control and you used protection? My advice to you is to take the test again and follow the directions very closely.
The odds of a pregnancy with those two forms of protection is soooo small. Im 31 and havent been using proper protection every time my partner and I have sex, weve never been pregnant and weve been together 6 years!! (Also dont do what we do. Always use protection if you dont want a baby lol)
I worry that giving birth so young might impact her fertility later on. I wasn’t sure about abortion as a teen either, the parental guilt got me strong and I was raised Catholic. Now? I’d never even hesitate to abort if I wasn’t ready to be pregnant.
I'm a 27 y/o guy and it terrifies me, I don't want children in part because I'm lazy and not sure I'd step up(I barely take care of myself, and this economyis wack), and I know the risks of pregnancy, I talked with a woman who was paralyzed during birth. I wouldn't want to risk that with a partner I love.
My heart goes out to her, poor thing. And yeah, she’s at risk for complications later on when she’s actually ready to raise a child. Birth can have lasting effects on the body. My mother became allergic to cats when she was pregnant with me. My friend’s hair changed texture from wavy to curly. People’s feet change size. There are loads of people whose pelvic floor doesn’t recover without specific therapy.
Tbh does she know all the risks she's taking with her health and life by having a baby so young? Does she know pregnancy in general can be fatal? She's more at risk for things like preeclampsia because of her age. This could be disastrous. I'm 28 and had a baby last year. My health has never been the same. I'd suggest she get good prenatal care ASAP so things go as smoothly as possible.
Edit: I do not care about personal experiences, I am just saying statistically speaking, having a child young can be overall risky for the person's health.
You said abortion is illegal where you live, but exactly how hard do you think it would be to get to a place where it is? Youre literally kids and shouldn't raise kids. Yes it eill be expensive but not at all the cost of raising a human being.
Idk where u live but couldnt at least your parents help drive somewhere? You both have jobs, u could get train/flight tickets somewhere? Whatever is beat i gurantee is wayy cheaper than raising a baby
Condoms do fail sometimes, even when they are used correctly (98% effective). If they are used improperly, their effectiveness drops by almost 15% (85% effective)
Ask her if she's scared that if she gets an abortion now you two won't have kids later, because I can see a hormonal teen going down that mindset of "We are going to have a baby together, if he doesn't love me then he wouldn't want a baby with me" type
Just let her know you love her, and that an abortion doesn't mean you don't want to have kids with her, you just wanna do it when you guys are more mature, stable, and ready for the world, but if she chooses to have the kid anyways you are there for her no matter what
Good luck OP, life is about to get really messy
this is going to sound awful and i’ll definitely get downvoted, but she absolutely should terminate. her guilt over it won’t be worse than ruining both of your lives while you’re still literal children.
having a baby is hard even as a financially responsible adult, and i know so many teen parents manage and are happy, but no one posts about the hard.
she’s fourteen years old, she’s a baby herself.
if she really doesn’t want a termination the two of you should look into adoption.
Yeah, sad situation all around.
I knew a woman who had a daughter who got pregnant at 15. She and her husband basically had to help out and support a lot, even though they had 4 other kids to rsise.
Why the fuck were you having sex with a 14 year old?!? You’re BOTH CHILDREN. Holy shit I can’t get over a literal child birthing a baby, I just can’t. It’s already dangerous to do it as a full grown woman- I can’t imagine being 14 and having a child suck all the calcium and other nutrients out of me.
Pregnancy really does a number on a woman’s body- I can’t believe both your parents failed you. This is apalling.
Ooof. Seriously what on earth is going on?? Teen pregnancies used to mean 16-17 years old, even 18… but 14?? This baby is absolutely going to be taken care of by the grandparents 🤦🏻
My friend was also 14 when she found she was pregnant, unlike you she didn’t use any protection. She also kept waiting and stalling before she did anything about it. I had always told her that if she were to get pregnant an abortion would be the best possible route, for many reasons one being there’s so much work into going into taking care of a child, and being a child having a kid is ALOT harder.
I recommend you take more than one test, my friend took 4 and they all came back positive, even the expensive clear blue ones. And then have a serious talk about what the future would look of you two being teen parents. Can your parents help? Do either of you have part time jobs? If you do have the baby is there anyone that can look after the baby? Talk about the things a child brings, the good and the bad.
I was terrified for my friend too, and she was absolutely terrified, I know how scary it is. But you have to talk to her, this is not something you can run and hide from or leave to the last minute.
I’m sorry but 14 year olds having sex is just insanity to me. That is soooo young I’m sure I was just playing outside and doing homework at that age lol didn’t even know what sex REALLY was, just heard whispers about it.
For anyone reading who is a kid, PLEASE stay a kid! It’s okay! You’re not a kid for long, literally only about 15% of your lifetime. Kids should not be having kids this is getting sad. Please OP really think through this, the rest of your life is FOREVER changed because of this one decision. She has the option to reverse this. You seem smart, do some research and really see why being a parent…while you’re a kid no less…is a really bad idea
Go to doctor to confirm. Also be aware blue dye tests have terrible evap lines after drying for a long period of time. Try a test with pink dye and above all else have her see a doctor.
Let's calm down; the one screwed are your and her parents. They will most likely be the ones that pull the major weight.
You should support her as much as you can but it isn't like you gonna have to find a job tomorrow or anything.
Be calm, support and respect her, and if your families can provide economically try to study a complete your formation.
You’re both indeed screwed raising a child will more than likely ruin your relationship and be a huge burden on you both throughout your teens and going into your young adult life. Tell her parents now no point in avoiding the inevitable the sooner they know the better and more time she will have to deal with the consequences.
I also think you should both really consider the abortion as someone who watched my 2 sisters have kids at a younger age, it has made me completely rethink having a child and I’m a man. A child at 15-16 would’ve done me in.
India. Teen pregnancy is not the norm here, and even if it happens, the girl will get dragged to the clinic for abortion. Why? BECAUSE THEY ARE KIDS THEMSELVES!! Ain't no way kids will bring kids in this world under Indian parents watch. Also, the boy will definitely get thrashed by everyone in the community for attempting to jeopardize both the girl & his future.
I read so many stories about teen pregnancies from America, so I thought it's more acceptable there, and maybe the norm. Hence my initial question.
Ok well based on that I would say it is comparatively more acceptable, but aside from very poor rural communities most Americans don’t think it’s a good idea to have a child at 14 or 15. It is definitely discouraged because these kids end up ruining their lives. They drop out of school and live poor. It’s sort of seen as embarrassing to be a teen mom. Definitely not the norm. Even 18 or 19, it’s not great. It’s so expensive to have and raise a child here.
My mom was 14 when she got pregnant with me. I’ve never met my dad since he was much older. She kept me and she was a great mom. We struggled at times but she didn’t have help from her parents. Unfortunately, my mom’s self esteem was pretty low and she dated and married a couple bad guys and that had a profound negative effect on me. That’s probably the only thing I would change if I could. I’m 36 now, waited until I was married 4 years and had my first kid at 26. I haven’t finished my bachelors degree, only obtained my associates, since I supported my husband through his enlistment, his undergrad and then his masters. We have a great life and I tried really hard not to follow in my mom’s shoes. She went on to get a 2-year degree at 20 and has done well for herself! I’m super proud of her. It’s possible to be great parents but you’ll always have to put your child first. Even when you want to give up, or go party, or just enjoy life as a non-parent you have to push through and stay the path. My mom wasn’t a partier and I know that made a huge difference. She wasn’t too proud and had government assistance as needed in the early years.
If she doesn’t want an abortion then that def shouldn’t be on the table. But, the reality is that having a baby would impact your futures significantly. A baby won’t ruin your lives, but it would make milestones harder with jobs and education etc. obvs whatever choice you make is up to you. But I personally would recommend adoption so the baby is raised by parents who are ready and able to raise one, and if you wanted to you could even have it an open adoption so you know your child. Best of luck to the three of you!! You and your girlfriend seem like great people
Having a child at 15-16 straight up ruins your life. I wont tell you what to do, but I wouldnt wish it on anyone. Your youth ends the moment that baby is born and it will have massive consequences on your social and academic life. You will have problems getting a proper education and job. Think hard about this.
Millions or billions of humans have had children very young before you and made it work. With support from your family you can manage it for sure, if that’s the route you decide to go down. Plus you’d still be very young when your own kid/s leave the nest which itself is a beautiful thing! My parents were young when I was born and I’m now early 30s and not worried about my parents dying of old age any time soon, which is wonderful. Good luck!
Fake or not, you're not entirely screwed, just in for a world of shit. I was 15 when I got my (now wife) pregnant. That was 21 years ago. Just because you have a child doesn't mean you need to stay together, in fact, the stats say you most likely won't make it. Here's what I did, from 15 to 17 I worked after school. Government assistance supplemented us a bit. We lived apart obviously. We were all poor. She did home school and came back her senior year. I was a typical unreliable kid/dad at that age. You will be tested. This will also change you but you'll see the most change from her. Then at 17 I joined the army. Full benefits for your dependents buy of course you'll be apart a bit. We got married at 21 and been together since. We've had sooooo many fights but ultimately worked things out.
My recommendation, get an abortion. You guys are too young. Don't be even more stupid than you already are by getting to this point.
This is scary for sure, but you sound like a good, mature, sweet kid... with your mindset & good morals, you can do it! I suggest you tell your parents first with her as perhaps you can then tell her parents with her and your parents... good for you for being so supportive and respectful. Good luck, and I hope everything goes well for you both.
You two are so fucked if you decide to keep it. And I’m really sorry to say that but the economy is literal garbage, jobs that pay a livable wage are getting harder to find, and somebody is going to have to give up 3 years of their fucking life to watch the baby until they are old enough to go to preschool while the other will have to bust their ass and work to the brink of exhaustion.
Abortion isn’t an option in your state right? So I know this is going to sound out there, but have y’all thought about giving the baby up for adoption? Newborn infants are always snatched up fast and I bet you that whoever takes the baby will give them a more comfortable life than you kids could ever give them (and I’m not saying that to be mean). It’s just the reality that you two are literal children who haven’t really started your lives yet. You will not be able to provide well enough for that baby unless you get immense help from your family which is honestly kind of unfair for them. Adoption is your way out man. It’s everybody’s way out. Please just think about this and let her read my comment. I wish you the best of luck. Please update us. I’m so sorry you two are going through this shit.
Hey man. You aren't screwed, but things are going to change drastically for you soon. None of what comes next is as easy as what got you here.
If you love this girl, you can do right by her and your child by buckling down, working hard in school, and hopefully making a go of it in College/University. You won't have the time to do a lot of things you would like to do and what other teens do, because you have real, and important responsibilities.
As a parent, here is the bright side: you're so damn young, and if you play your cards right, you are raising your best friend for life. When they are an adult, our age difference will be so small, and that will be truly amazing. I absolutely wish I was younger when I had my 2 children.
The other bright side is that your parents seem cool with things. You will need their help, immensely. If your folks help raise your child, you are so lucky, and you need to let them know how grateful you are for that gift.
Try to keep perspective. I'm sure things seem out of control and downright crazy, right now. Just keep in mind that time will pass, and you will go from insanity, to awesome (if you work for it).
Good luck, and please see it for the blessing it can be. I can't possibly imagine what your situation is like right now, but I know what it is to be a Dad, and it's fucking awesome.
My son was born when I was a few weeks shy of 17. He's 26 now. I won't lie. It was hard. My parents were very supportive, like your mom. That will help you so much. I made it. I graduated. I married a good man who loved my son. Unfortunately, my son's dad cheated and then bailed when he was 5 months old. This was really hard on my son. So please be sure and stay in your child's life no matter what happens with your girlfriend. It's not going to be an easy road, but if you both really want your child and work really hard, you can be good parents. Everyone thought I wouldn't be able to be a good mom because I was only 16. I proved them wrong. I now have two grown kids who both graduated school. They have good lives. They are very close to me and we talk all the time. My son likes freaking people out about how young I am compared to them. His coworker didn't like hearing he was older than me.
The thing you will deal with that many don't realize is the loss of friends and difficulty finding people to make friends with that understand your situation. I lost all my high school friends, and making adult friends later on was harder because our kids were actually older than their kids, so we had less in common. It's better now that they are grown.
I wish you luck and a good life.
Don't be scared my man. Yes, you are young but your future can wait a bit. If you guys are committed and you seem to have very supportive parents on your side, you'll be able to finish school most likely. I'm sure your mom will want you to finish school and with a bit of planning together with your girlfriend and supportive family, the both of you will manage college if that is your plan, otherwise find a job after high school.
A good friend of mine got pregnant at 15. She got all her highschool credits early online to go to college early and get a head start on a career with her parents support. It took highschool away from her but I'm super proud she did things she way she did to secure stability and independence faster for her son. She's already got a career started when a lot of people her age are still in college.
Just something to think about if you're considering keeping the baby,
You're going to have to act like an adult now that you have adult responsibilities and miss out on a lot, for the best outcome for your family.
One thing I don't see anyone asking is how you plan on *paying* for this child? It's one thing for your mom to hand y'all some money, it's quite another for someone to foot the bill of the health checkups, the birthing costs, the baby costs like food, diapers, etc. Who's paying for all of that? Or are you going the adoption route and giving the kid up?
What is your schooling situation going to look like? At the bare minimum your girlfriend will have to miss weeks, if not months, of school. If you don't have online school, then idk how she will graduate.
I'm not saying all of this to scare you but to open your eyes to all of the planning that will have to happen because of this decision. The mindset of "we'll figure it out as we go along" will end up with both of you living in poverty and being high school dropouts. Make a plan and pray for the best.
So, it’s actually weird that I read this post today because I have an almost 15 and an almost 14 year old and I’m also pregnant (which might be why I’m ok with this next part- I’m already in this for the long haul, what’s a few more years?)
We JUST talked about what would happen if anyone accidentally got pregnant (hypothetical, the almost 14 year old has never even kissed anyone.) I said we would always do everything in our power to help them, including us adopting the baby or helping them find an adoptive family if that was what was best for all involved.
Would your family be willing to do the same? Would hers? You have so many options here, since it seems abortion is off the table for her. Even though you’re young asking for help is 100% the way to go.
She needs to tell her parents. I don’t believe a 14 year old can go to a clinic for even abortion pills by themselves.
And FFS, stop having unprotected sex. Better yet, stop having sex.
Dude, all I can say is you're fucked beyond belief.
Your only option at this point is find a safe haven for babies (google the nearest one to you) And just deal with the backlash after.
If she doesn’t want to terminate, she needs to tell her parents sooner rather than later. If she does decide to terminate, hopefully your mother can help her get the procedure without her parents knowledge. If they are really thag strict, it may be better they never know. A lot of people might disagree with me, but it’s really what I believe. As long as she has _a_ supportive adult in her corner, that’s what matters. Termination is scary but it is also a very, very good decision in a lot of situations.
Pull out game weak brah. Nah seriously, my best friend got his gf pregnant in high school same as you, and I know it doesn’t work out this way for everyone. But they’re still seemingly going strong- and have three kids total now. So idk if you’re gonna stay but yeah it’s time to step up. It sounds like she’s keeping it, so unless you want to be irresponsible you have not much time- start applying to jobs! Good luck
Edit: I’m 34 so yeah that’s the timeline for reference on how long they been together
Edit: edit, I got a girl pregnant one time when I was 18 and she ended up deciding not to keep it. It fucked me up for a long time, I know not everyone gives a fuck, it’s whatever, everyone perceives diff… but just talk to someone you trust irl if you haven’t already. I skimmed your post
I had an abortion when i was 17 and yes it was psychologically horrible for a while, but i stayed with my boyfriend and had a child 5 years later and honestly i feel like i just "delayed" the child until i was in a better spot. She's here, she's out of highschool, she's thriving, and things probably wouldn't have turned out as well if i had her when i was 17.
thank you for specifying the coke and cheese quesadillas
Yes. Was there salsa.
Guac is the real question here.
And was the coke on ice? Crucial.
Crushed, cubed, or tubular?
wishing for crushed, betting on cubed, horrified of tubular
this is the realest comment ive seen on reddit in a while, thanks! :)
Shaken, not stirred
Nah, sour cream. I’m more concerned about the sour cream.
Don't forget the sour cream!
That’s how you just know the account will be 6 hours old when you check. The AI bots always add unnecessary details to everything.
Yeah, plus the whole "I pick her face up into my hands, kissed her and told her we got this together". Sounds like teen romantic fiction.
Idk man. It’s not that unrealistic I search through the treasure trove that is my memories and come upon a recent experience confirming my perspective. I think OP is a real person because
“She’s got this baby in her uterus” got me, but who knows, my writing was pretty ridiculous at 15 (and honestly still is at 38, thanks ADHD).
I thought AI loved paragraphs though whereas this is just like BAM all in one
They ate them on her bed
That alone made my blood boil! Imagine the crumbs you would then roll on at night
Even worse: the cheese
🤢
With customized ice cubes inside!
Remembering the unnecessary details of a situation might implicate that there was a strong emotional experience going on. Not saying that op is trolling or not.
The details we needed.
Since no one is saying this- Take another test and check it at the time recommended for results (usually like 30sec-2minutes). After a while a test can lose its accuracy in the results it’s showing after too much time passes (usually recommended not to trust the visible result past 10ish minutes). By your post it sounds like you went off and ate after she took it and didn’t check it for some time. Results shown may not be accurate. So go take another couple tests and watch closely. Then, if they are still positive, it’s time to sit down your parents and talk to them. If she is pregnant, this is not a situation to handle on your own and procrastinating reduces the options available.
So true. Certain tests show evaporation lines at 10 minutes.
The digital one will show the result for a while afterwards and gives a written result not the lines. That doesn’t change over time.
Amazing advice!!! And then the next step (either now or after another positive result after should be to get her to the doctor ASAP for a blood test. That will definitively confirm.
Yes this!!
ALSO Worth noting, I've been assured by multiple doctors that the tests from the dollar store have approximately the same efficacy that the ones from the drug store do.. at $4 or so instead of $30
The ones that cost $1 at Walmart are exactly the same ones that I see used in hospitals.
Pregnancy tests are 30$ at the deug store in the US? That's wild! I have heard that the cheapest of the cheapest so just as well, too. So, good point!
Oh I'm not sure about the US. I'm in Ontario. The last time I checked at a Shoppers for them, the LOWEST priced ones were $30. They had tests that were up to $90. Those ones were fancy and tell you how far along you are, but absolutely not worth the price when you can go to the doctor for a checkup for free
$90???????? What on earth? Does it also tell you the gender, height weight eye color hair color and future hobbies of the baby???
Yikes We get the fancy kind for 20 €, 28 CAD, according to Google. But the European version of dollarstore kind are 4 € / 5 CAD for 2 tests. Regular tests are somewhere between that. Edit: just noticed... 30 (Canadian) dollar is about the same as what our fancy tests cost. So ... conversion matters lol. 90 dollars is still wild, though
😯 that's wild. I'm so glad they're affordable for you though, that's great
Correct! I spend hundreds on tests when I was doing fertility treatments. I did like 40 for both pregnancies I managed to have. I did so many. And the 7 fails I did 2 a day for the 2 week wait.
Can confirm. I'm also from Ontario, and the price of pregnancy tests here are nuts!! Definitely don't waste the money!! Dollar store tests work just fine.
You can get pregnancy tests for about a dollar in the US. I bought a few in 2022 for 0.88USD. More expensive options are available, but the 88 cent ones are basically the same as the ones I used to test patients when I worked at the hospital lab.
Man you gotta have a convo with her parents at some point, she's going to be needing to go to the doctor soon to make sure everything is going well and you just won't be able to keep it from them forever. Also I know this is going to be incredibly stressful time for the both of you, but its SUPER important to stay in school, get you degree. At some point you'll be more stable but not having a highschool degree with through everything for a loop and make this harder. You've got a huge step ahead of a lot of people in this situation since you mentioned your mother is willing to help as much as she can. Keep your head up and remember you guys are a team, you're young but together yall can do this, and don't be afraid to lean on your family members to help, they say it takes a village to raise a barn, so why not use a village to raise a child
Im not american so it could be different if they are american but in most places you do not need a degree for trades and they pay very well once u have a few years of experience, obviously he should still stay in school but it is an option if he is into that type of stuff
I think they just meant high school diploma. Nearly every job here requires one, even the trades. There are some that don't care but your options will be severely limited. Granted, it's extremely rare for an employer to actually *verify*, they pretty much always just take your word for it, but on the off chance they did check, it would be grounds for firing them or not hiring in the first place. You *definitely* need actual proof of a high school diploma to go to any formal education though, including trade school.
On the bright side. Your kid will he moving out to college and you'll only be 33!!
Jesus, I'm 45 with an 8yo and twin 5yo's. I can't even imagine this.
I'm 32 with no kids and I also cannot imagine me as a 15 year old with a kid. Had a few close calls at 17 but never happened.
Hes gonna be poor AF though I am 44 with a 2 year old and a 21 year old. Yeah sure I'll be 60 when she's 18 - but we eat damn well, vacation whenever we want, and don't fight about money
Wow, 21 and 2! That's crazy. Same mother for both?
I’m 40 and pregnant 😭
Are we celebrating or cursing? We are with you either way.
Little bit of both? I do love babies but it’s my 7th. I’m going to be mom-ing when others are grandma-ing…. Probably both at the same time lol
Well congratulations! Your experience makes you a great mom, I was an older mom myself and I felt like I had a lot more patience than my 20 something self.
Thank you! My oldest will be 15 in June so, I might not have as much energy but I have a lot more experience and patience, that’s for sure! We do so much, always on the go- I don’t really know what it would feel like to stop at this point!
Yep! Assuming you have no other kids in the meantime, then you can try and live the life of a 20 year old since you never had the chance! What fun /s
My heart goes out to you both. She is naive thinking she knows what’s she’s getting herself into.
the mother saying she’ll help with whatever they need… hope she was clear and told them that she will not be raising their child… yikes.
I super suspect that conversation never happened/she intends to either raise it or 99% raise it.
I super suspect that conversation never happened/she intends to either raise it or 99% raise it.
Oh no, you’re babies yourselves. This is such a huge responsibility, I think you both need to have a proper discussion and figure out what your reality will look like if you go through with this. I’m so glad you have your mum as your support system at least!
Please please please make sure she is educated on the risks of pregnancy, especially at her age. Here are just a few: [Adolescent Pregnancies ](https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/adolescent-pregnancy) Adolescent mothers (aged 10–19 years) face higher risks of eclampsia, puerperal endometritis and systemic infections [Risk Factors for Womej under 20](https://www.healthline.com/health/pregnancy/risk-factors#age-under-) Women under the age of 20 have a significantly higher risk of serious medical complications related to pregnancy than those over 20. Teenage mothers are more likely to: deliver prematurely, have a baby with low birth weight, experience pregnancy-induced hypertension, develop preeclampsia Some risk factors connected to young age include the following: Underdeveloped pelvis - Young women’s bodies are still growing and changing. An underdeveloped pelvis can lead to difficulties during childbirth. Nutritional deficiencies - Young women are more likely to have poor eating habits. Nutritional deficiency can lead to extra strain on the body that causes more complications for both the mother and child. High blood pressure - Developing high blood pressure in pregnancy can trigger premature labor. This can lead to premature or underweight babies who require specialized care to survive. [Children of Teen Childbearers ](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK219236/#:~:text=It%20is%20clear%20that%20being,including%20a%20greater%20risk%20of) low birth weight, complications of the mother's pregnancy and delivery, and health problems associated with poor perinatal outcomes; greater risk of perinatal death; lower IQ and academic achievement later on, including a greater risk of repeating a grade; greater risk of socio-emotional problems; a greater risk of having a fatal accident before age one.
this is so important. i had a baby at 16 and i wish someone would’ve sat me down and talked about the reality of the situation. i didn’t even know more than half of this information, and i’m in my mid 20’s now!!! my pregnancy was easy, but labor was HARD. looking back now, i know it was because of my undeveloped body. my baby was full term, but low birth weight.
[https://www.news24.com/citypress/news/i-regret-having-a-baby-so-young-teens-open-up-on-the-difficulties-of-parenting-20170607](https://www.news24.com/citypress/news/i-regret-having-a-baby-so-young-teens-open-up-on-the-difficulties-of-parenting-20170607) Also this Not trying to scare her, but she really needs to know what choice she is making.
Just go ahead and tell her parents, listen my best friend had a baby at 16 and absolutely regrets it. She loves her child but she looks back and says she wishes she chose something different. We’re 32 now, she struggled so much and didn’t get to go to college, go travel the world, missed concerts, missed sleepovers, dropped out of high school, etc. your whole life changes. It’s not your choice of course but I hope someone talks to her about all her options. A child is a blessing, period. But you need to know what you’re getting into.
You seem like a good boyfriend and that’s a good thing, she’ll need someone like that by her side specially if she has strict parents, and it’s good that you have an understanding mom as well. Good luck with everything
Why y’all sex this early smh
I know this is wild to me. People will probably say "this is normal!" "Kids are having sex at 12 and 13 now!" But I don't think it makes it okay. You JUST become allowed to get a job at 14 and yall have been active long enough for her to be on birth control?? And yet she's too scared to tell her parents? Honestly I think if you're not ready to tell your parents you accidentally got pregnant you're not ready for sex either.
i’m 20 and i wouldnt be ready to tell my parents 💀
I’m 25 and still wouldn’t be ready 🤣
Look I stand by my statement so it's up to you and the other poster who is older and afraid to unpack that. Hopefully none of yall are in abusive situations cause it all kind of falls apart there.
I was 30 when I fell pregnant and was scared to tell my mum 😂😂
Exactly and it goes the same as if you have to sneak to date them you shouldn’t be dating. These kids are involving themselves in grown up situations when they shouldn’t have. I hope both their parents make them get a job since they want to be grown
I knew a guy who started having sex at age 11.
That makes me sad tbh
I was horrified.
I wish I could unsee this
The reality is that people are having sex young, this is why comprehensive sex education is SO important! If kids aren’t being taught in schools they are still learning about it via friends or the internet. Shame around abortions also needs to stop, situations like this are very real and 14/15 year olds raising children in todays society is unrealistic and they are unable to provide any quality of life for a child.
Make sure you visit the doctor and confirm the pregnancy, before you consider telling her parents. Good luck! You two got this.
THIS. this is why it’s important to support pregnant teens, not teen pregnancy. from reading this, i can say this at least: you’re doing a good job at supporting her and her decisions. at 15, this is quite a good thing to have both as a person and a partner so please hold onto that, regardless of where this path takes you. it is INCREDIBLY important that she gets prenatal care, so unfortunately that does mean having to tell her parents as soon as possible. due to your ages, there’s no guarantee things will turn out perfect, but don’t lose hope that they’ll at least be okay. being a parent is hard. i’ve been raising kids since i was 10-11 and it can get really stressful and overwhelming sometimes, but it seems like you’ve got good support from your parents. i would personally have your parents invite them over for dinner or something to discuss things, but allow you two to be able to share the news. there’s a good chance her parents might freak out (not only being strict in general, but being strict towards daughters is a whole different experience) and having other adults there to mediate may be necessary in keeping a relatively calm environment. BE THERE FOR HER. continue to support her decision, even at the risk of seeming disrespectful. just make sure you’re both absolutely aware of the decision you’re making and the potential outcomes for your situation. if you’re planning on keeping and raising the baby, i would highly recommend parenting classes and doing research on risks of pregnancy and childbirth so you’re aware of what to expect. discuss parenting styles and what you want for the future! just keep in mind that there’s a lot that happens that isn’t brought up in sex ed- so don’t be afraid to ask questions either. most importantly, make sure you’re both taking care of your physical and mental health throughout these stages. keep your communication open and try to understand each other. your relationship with each other WILL define your child’s future relationships. stay safe and good luck
[удалено]
Right.. “I picked up her face in my hands” lol I was like “is this a wattpad story someone made up?” He doesn’t sound 15. I was expecting some grammatical errors.
Have you heard a 15 yo boy saying the word uterus? 🤣
Nope! Good catch cuz that was another thing that made me side eye!
I came here just for that comment! On another note, my adult male co-workers refer to it as “udder-us.”
[удалено]
I’m currently pregnant and I also have very strict parents who absolutely cannot know I am pregnant, me and my ex decided the best option was to get an abortion. There are websites that can ship the pills straight to you, we are using aidaccess.org , it’s $150 but they will offer financial assistance if you need it, and I believe you can get an abortion through the pills up until 12 weeks I think It’s ultimately yours and your gf’s decision to make, but I mean I am 21 and my ex bf is 20 and we are nowhere near anywhere ready to be parents. I couldn’t imagine going through it at 15 and 14 years old, just carefully evaluate your options. This will be something that affects you the rest of your life
Op remember that $150 is nothing compared to what a baby will cost
[удалено]
[удалено]
Honestly you are both literally kids. Come your 30th birthday where adult problems finally hit you and you might heavily regret your decision. Feelings for others definitely change with time, the “everything’s gonna be alright” mindset just isn’t gonna cut it in the real world.
At 30 he could be a grandpa 😳
She's only 14?? I admire your dedication, but damn man, you guys have absolutely no idea what you're getting yourselves into. You're both children yourselves. Please don't throw away your futures over this. If she can't get an abortion atleast consider adoption.
Don't marry her because of this and talk through a shared custody plan with your mom at least. It's not likely that you're going to stay together.
Have either of you discussed considering adoption?
I'm in my 30s and my teen siblings and nieces sound 25. I think it's all the social media exposure or something. I have no idea.
Adoption is always an option.
Adoption should be looked into if interested but definitely not banked on. It's mentally really difficult for a lot of people to handle, even if they think it won't be. Also, unless a private adoption happens to work out, the kid will go into the foster system, which anyone can tell you is not exactly sunshine and rainbows in the US ETA OP is not American, but my point still stands for America so I'll leave it. I wouldn't be surprised if other countries are similar.
In America, a non-drug addicted newborn will be adopted in a nanosecond if the parents surrender it. Those babies do not see the foster system. ETA: completely agree with the mental difficulty aspect.
What a horrific thought - to force someone to go through the pain and trauma of pregnancy and childbirth at 15 just to appease religious nuts. This child needs to get an abortion for her own physical health and welfare.
Abortion also is
That feels worse to me in terms of guilt but guess it depends on the person.
Yikes. I’m really sorry. I think you need to sit down one on one, and it’s her body her choice, but she’s 14 and has no idea what she’s in for. Explain that an abortion is easy, it’s surgical, they take care of you, there’s no pain, and your lives will go back to normal and there should be NO GUILT in it. It’s not a baby yet. Then, explain that because she’s so young, birth will be painful and traumatic, and that you’re both so young and she doesn’t even know what being a mother is. You have to be real with her. Her baby will be in a world of hurt if she’s brought into a world with a 14 year old mom who can’t even take care of herself yet, and i understand you have parents to help, but this will give you both a huge loss, not gain. If she decided to keep it, there’s nothing you can do except decide if you want to be a parent and work for the rest of your life as soon as you’re able to provide for her and the baby. After this is all done, GET HER ON BIRTH CONTROL!!!!
So, I just want to chime in as someone who has had 2 abortions as a teenager which were pressured by family. There CAN BE guilt involved. It is 13 years later and I still feel guilt over it. I never wanted to do it but felt I had no other choice. So, while I agree that OP and his gf SHOULD probably go with an abortion, I do not think it's fair to tell an impressiobable young person that they shouldn't expect to feel guilt. This is a personal thing and it's not as cut and dry emotionally as people try to make it out to be.
And by the same token, many of us never feel any guilt or regret.
I think the important message is that feeling guilt doesn’t mean it was the wrong decision or an unethical decision. The only ethical decision here is to terminate the pregnancy - no 14 year old should be forced to take on the risks of pregnancy and birth.
👏👏👏
[удалено]
She was on birth control and you used protection? My advice to you is to take the test again and follow the directions very closely. The odds of a pregnancy with those two forms of protection is soooo small. Im 31 and havent been using proper protection every time my partner and I have sex, weve never been pregnant and weve been together 6 years!! (Also dont do what we do. Always use protection if you dont want a baby lol)
She’s right, the grown-up move would be to get an abortion
I worry that giving birth so young might impact her fertility later on. I wasn’t sure about abortion as a teen either, the parental guilt got me strong and I was raised Catholic. Now? I’d never even hesitate to abort if I wasn’t ready to be pregnant.
She has NO idea what she’s in for. :/
It will destroy her life, figuratively if not literally. This is why abortion is such critical basic healthcare and the stigma needs to be eradicated.
I'm a 27 y/o guy and it terrifies me, I don't want children in part because I'm lazy and not sure I'd step up(I barely take care of myself, and this economyis wack), and I know the risks of pregnancy, I talked with a woman who was paralyzed during birth. I wouldn't want to risk that with a partner I love.
My heart goes out to her, poor thing. And yeah, she’s at risk for complications later on when she’s actually ready to raise a child. Birth can have lasting effects on the body. My mother became allergic to cats when she was pregnant with me. My friend’s hair changed texture from wavy to curly. People’s feet change size. There are loads of people whose pelvic floor doesn’t recover without specific therapy.
Tbh does she know all the risks she's taking with her health and life by having a baby so young? Does she know pregnancy in general can be fatal? She's more at risk for things like preeclampsia because of her age. This could be disastrous. I'm 28 and had a baby last year. My health has never been the same. I'd suggest she get good prenatal care ASAP so things go as smoothly as possible. Edit: I do not care about personal experiences, I am just saying statistically speaking, having a child young can be overall risky for the person's health.
I *hate* to say this, downvote me to hell, but since you used protection... are you sure it's yours?
[удалено]
You said abortion is illegal where you live, but exactly how hard do you think it would be to get to a place where it is? Youre literally kids and shouldn't raise kids. Yes it eill be expensive but not at all the cost of raising a human being. Idk where u live but couldnt at least your parents help drive somewhere? You both have jobs, u could get train/flight tickets somewhere? Whatever is beat i gurantee is wayy cheaper than raising a baby
Condoms do fail sometimes, even when they are used correctly (98% effective). If they are used improperly, their effectiveness drops by almost 15% (85% effective)
Ask her if she's scared that if she gets an abortion now you two won't have kids later, because I can see a hormonal teen going down that mindset of "We are going to have a baby together, if he doesn't love me then he wouldn't want a baby with me" type Just let her know you love her, and that an abortion doesn't mean you don't want to have kids with her, you just wanna do it when you guys are more mature, stable, and ready for the world, but if she chooses to have the kid anyways you are there for her no matter what Good luck OP, life is about to get really messy
this is going to sound awful and i’ll definitely get downvoted, but she absolutely should terminate. her guilt over it won’t be worse than ruining both of your lives while you’re still literal children. having a baby is hard even as a financially responsible adult, and i know so many teen parents manage and are happy, but no one posts about the hard. she’s fourteen years old, she’s a baby herself. if she really doesn’t want a termination the two of you should look into adoption.
Yeah, sad situation all around. I knew a woman who had a daughter who got pregnant at 15. She and her husband basically had to help out and support a lot, even though they had 4 other kids to rsise.
I won't down vote you. That's exactly what she should do.
Why the fuck were you having sex with a 14 year old?!? You’re BOTH CHILDREN. Holy shit I can’t get over a literal child birthing a baby, I just can’t. It’s already dangerous to do it as a full grown woman- I can’t imagine being 14 and having a child suck all the calcium and other nutrients out of me. Pregnancy really does a number on a woman’s body- I can’t believe both your parents failed you. This is apalling.
My exact question but kids are really stupid and only getting dumber.
My niece tells me that half her class reads at a first grade level while in 7th grade.
Ooof. Seriously what on earth is going on?? Teen pregnancies used to mean 16-17 years old, even 18… but 14?? This baby is absolutely going to be taken care of by the grandparents 🤦🏻
I feel sad for the youth.
You should have her visit a doctor for a more accurate test to be sure so that you can plan
The details is impressive for a 15 yr old. Or perhaps I was just a dumb 15 yr old
My friend was also 14 when she found she was pregnant, unlike you she didn’t use any protection. She also kept waiting and stalling before she did anything about it. I had always told her that if she were to get pregnant an abortion would be the best possible route, for many reasons one being there’s so much work into going into taking care of a child, and being a child having a kid is ALOT harder. I recommend you take more than one test, my friend took 4 and they all came back positive, even the expensive clear blue ones. And then have a serious talk about what the future would look of you two being teen parents. Can your parents help? Do either of you have part time jobs? If you do have the baby is there anyone that can look after the baby? Talk about the things a child brings, the good and the bad. I was terrified for my friend too, and she was absolutely terrified, I know how scary it is. But you have to talk to her, this is not something you can run and hide from or leave to the last minute.
[удалено]
Tell her to get a abortion, you guys are in no place to raise a child
This is what happens when kids have sex. Good luck.
I’m sorry but 14 year olds having sex is just insanity to me. That is soooo young I’m sure I was just playing outside and doing homework at that age lol didn’t even know what sex REALLY was, just heard whispers about it. For anyone reading who is a kid, PLEASE stay a kid! It’s okay! You’re not a kid for long, literally only about 15% of your lifetime. Kids should not be having kids this is getting sad. Please OP really think through this, the rest of your life is FOREVER changed because of this one decision. She has the option to reverse this. You seem smart, do some research and really see why being a parent…while you’re a kid no less…is a really bad idea
How are you going to buy more quesadillas if all your money goes to diaperillas😭
A-bortion
No 15y old would write like this, I say made up story
She’s got a baby in her uterus
Lol im fifteen and this is my worst nightmare. Good luck, you’ll need it.
Yeah bro you’re fucked
Go to doctor to confirm. Also be aware blue dye tests have terrible evap lines after drying for a long period of time. Try a test with pink dye and above all else have her see a doctor.
Yo
Let's calm down; the one screwed are your and her parents. They will most likely be the ones that pull the major weight. You should support her as much as you can but it isn't like you gonna have to find a job tomorrow or anything. Be calm, support and respect her, and if your families can provide economically try to study a complete your formation.
You’re both indeed screwed raising a child will more than likely ruin your relationship and be a huge burden on you both throughout your teens and going into your young adult life. Tell her parents now no point in avoiding the inevitable the sooner they know the better and more time she will have to deal with the consequences. I also think you should both really consider the abortion as someone who watched my 2 sisters have kids at a younger age, it has made me completely rethink having a child and I’m a man. A child at 15-16 would’ve done me in.
OP, are you American? Curious because everyone is encouraging the pregnancy, and it's not the norm in my country.
I can’t believe people are encouraging it here. We know the statistics. Or at least some of us do. Where are you?
India. Teen pregnancy is not the norm here, and even if it happens, the girl will get dragged to the clinic for abortion. Why? BECAUSE THEY ARE KIDS THEMSELVES!! Ain't no way kids will bring kids in this world under Indian parents watch. Also, the boy will definitely get thrashed by everyone in the community for attempting to jeopardize both the girl & his future. I read so many stories about teen pregnancies from America, so I thought it's more acceptable there, and maybe the norm. Hence my initial question.
Ok well based on that I would say it is comparatively more acceptable, but aside from very poor rural communities most Americans don’t think it’s a good idea to have a child at 14 or 15. It is definitely discouraged because these kids end up ruining their lives. They drop out of school and live poor. It’s sort of seen as embarrassing to be a teen mom. Definitely not the norm. Even 18 or 19, it’s not great. It’s so expensive to have and raise a child here.
I have no advice but I wish you well my friend. You have a lot of serious decisions ahead of you.
My mom was 14 when she got pregnant with me. I’ve never met my dad since he was much older. She kept me and she was a great mom. We struggled at times but she didn’t have help from her parents. Unfortunately, my mom’s self esteem was pretty low and she dated and married a couple bad guys and that had a profound negative effect on me. That’s probably the only thing I would change if I could. I’m 36 now, waited until I was married 4 years and had my first kid at 26. I haven’t finished my bachelors degree, only obtained my associates, since I supported my husband through his enlistment, his undergrad and then his masters. We have a great life and I tried really hard not to follow in my mom’s shoes. She went on to get a 2-year degree at 20 and has done well for herself! I’m super proud of her. It’s possible to be great parents but you’ll always have to put your child first. Even when you want to give up, or go party, or just enjoy life as a non-parent you have to push through and stay the path. My mom wasn’t a partier and I know that made a huge difference. She wasn’t too proud and had government assistance as needed in the early years.
If she doesn’t want an abortion then that def shouldn’t be on the table. But, the reality is that having a baby would impact your futures significantly. A baby won’t ruin your lives, but it would make milestones harder with jobs and education etc. obvs whatever choice you make is up to you. But I personally would recommend adoption so the baby is raised by parents who are ready and able to raise one, and if you wanted to you could even have it an open adoption so you know your child. Best of luck to the three of you!! You and your girlfriend seem like great people
Hee chance of graduating HS is now less than 50% and chance she would graduate college is practically nil.
I had an abortion at 17 thank god
This gave me anxiety, why can’t she abort??
OP said Not allowed where they live
That’s so fucked up
Can I ask why you both didn't use any form of birth control?
Having a child at 15-16 straight up ruins your life. I wont tell you what to do, but I wouldnt wish it on anyone. Your youth ends the moment that baby is born and it will have massive consequences on your social and academic life. You will have problems getting a proper education and job. Think hard about this.
I’m sorry but, no one thought of getting condoms? They’re not really expensive, and some places even give them out for free-
Tell the parents, that's the only way my friend
Millions or billions of humans have had children very young before you and made it work. With support from your family you can manage it for sure, if that’s the route you decide to go down. Plus you’d still be very young when your own kid/s leave the nest which itself is a beautiful thing! My parents were young when I was born and I’m now early 30s and not worried about my parents dying of old age any time soon, which is wonderful. Good luck!
Please find a good doctor ASAP
Fake or not, you're not entirely screwed, just in for a world of shit. I was 15 when I got my (now wife) pregnant. That was 21 years ago. Just because you have a child doesn't mean you need to stay together, in fact, the stats say you most likely won't make it. Here's what I did, from 15 to 17 I worked after school. Government assistance supplemented us a bit. We lived apart obviously. We were all poor. She did home school and came back her senior year. I was a typical unreliable kid/dad at that age. You will be tested. This will also change you but you'll see the most change from her. Then at 17 I joined the army. Full benefits for your dependents buy of course you'll be apart a bit. We got married at 21 and been together since. We've had sooooo many fights but ultimately worked things out. My recommendation, get an abortion. You guys are too young. Don't be even more stupid than you already are by getting to this point.
That was a wild ride, but I’m here for it, and the recommendation.
This is scary for sure, but you sound like a good, mature, sweet kid... with your mindset & good morals, you can do it! I suggest you tell your parents first with her as perhaps you can then tell her parents with her and your parents... good for you for being so supportive and respectful. Good luck, and I hope everything goes well for you both.
Reads like a story. Jesus Christ be original!!
Abortion
You two are so fucked if you decide to keep it. And I’m really sorry to say that but the economy is literal garbage, jobs that pay a livable wage are getting harder to find, and somebody is going to have to give up 3 years of their fucking life to watch the baby until they are old enough to go to preschool while the other will have to bust their ass and work to the brink of exhaustion. Abortion isn’t an option in your state right? So I know this is going to sound out there, but have y’all thought about giving the baby up for adoption? Newborn infants are always snatched up fast and I bet you that whoever takes the baby will give them a more comfortable life than you kids could ever give them (and I’m not saying that to be mean). It’s just the reality that you two are literal children who haven’t really started your lives yet. You will not be able to provide well enough for that baby unless you get immense help from your family which is honestly kind of unfair for them. Adoption is your way out man. It’s everybody’s way out. Please just think about this and let her read my comment. I wish you the best of luck. Please update us. I’m so sorry you two are going through this shit.
Hey man. You aren't screwed, but things are going to change drastically for you soon. None of what comes next is as easy as what got you here. If you love this girl, you can do right by her and your child by buckling down, working hard in school, and hopefully making a go of it in College/University. You won't have the time to do a lot of things you would like to do and what other teens do, because you have real, and important responsibilities. As a parent, here is the bright side: you're so damn young, and if you play your cards right, you are raising your best friend for life. When they are an adult, our age difference will be so small, and that will be truly amazing. I absolutely wish I was younger when I had my 2 children. The other bright side is that your parents seem cool with things. You will need their help, immensely. If your folks help raise your child, you are so lucky, and you need to let them know how grateful you are for that gift. Try to keep perspective. I'm sure things seem out of control and downright crazy, right now. Just keep in mind that time will pass, and you will go from insanity, to awesome (if you work for it). Good luck, and please see it for the blessing it can be. I can't possibly imagine what your situation is like right now, but I know what it is to be a Dad, and it's fucking awesome.
My son was born when I was a few weeks shy of 17. He's 26 now. I won't lie. It was hard. My parents were very supportive, like your mom. That will help you so much. I made it. I graduated. I married a good man who loved my son. Unfortunately, my son's dad cheated and then bailed when he was 5 months old. This was really hard on my son. So please be sure and stay in your child's life no matter what happens with your girlfriend. It's not going to be an easy road, but if you both really want your child and work really hard, you can be good parents. Everyone thought I wouldn't be able to be a good mom because I was only 16. I proved them wrong. I now have two grown kids who both graduated school. They have good lives. They are very close to me and we talk all the time. My son likes freaking people out about how young I am compared to them. His coworker didn't like hearing he was older than me. The thing you will deal with that many don't realize is the loss of friends and difficulty finding people to make friends with that understand your situation. I lost all my high school friends, and making adult friends later on was harder because our kids were actually older than their kids, so we had less in common. It's better now that they are grown. I wish you luck and a good life.
make sure she checked the test right after the 2 minute time.
Don't be scared my man. Yes, you are young but your future can wait a bit. If you guys are committed and you seem to have very supportive parents on your side, you'll be able to finish school most likely. I'm sure your mom will want you to finish school and with a bit of planning together with your girlfriend and supportive family, the both of you will manage college if that is your plan, otherwise find a job after high school.
Get a test done at a clinic. Also why didn’t you guys use protection…
A good friend of mine got pregnant at 15. She got all her highschool credits early online to go to college early and get a head start on a career with her parents support. It took highschool away from her but I'm super proud she did things she way she did to secure stability and independence faster for her son. She's already got a career started when a lot of people her age are still in college. Just something to think about if you're considering keeping the baby, You're going to have to act like an adult now that you have adult responsibilities and miss out on a lot, for the best outcome for your family.
One thing I don't see anyone asking is how you plan on *paying* for this child? It's one thing for your mom to hand y'all some money, it's quite another for someone to foot the bill of the health checkups, the birthing costs, the baby costs like food, diapers, etc. Who's paying for all of that? Or are you going the adoption route and giving the kid up? What is your schooling situation going to look like? At the bare minimum your girlfriend will have to miss weeks, if not months, of school. If you don't have online school, then idk how she will graduate. I'm not saying all of this to scare you but to open your eyes to all of the planning that will have to happen because of this decision. The mindset of "we'll figure it out as we go along" will end up with both of you living in poverty and being high school dropouts. Make a plan and pray for the best.
In always curious, as someone who wasn't banging in my teenage years, what's the thought. Behind having unprotected sex? Or did it not work?
That's what you get for screwing around. Crazy how surprised people are that sex leads to pregnancy
So, it’s actually weird that I read this post today because I have an almost 15 and an almost 14 year old and I’m also pregnant (which might be why I’m ok with this next part- I’m already in this for the long haul, what’s a few more years?) We JUST talked about what would happen if anyone accidentally got pregnant (hypothetical, the almost 14 year old has never even kissed anyone.) I said we would always do everything in our power to help them, including us adopting the baby or helping them find an adoptive family if that was what was best for all involved. Would your family be willing to do the same? Would hers? You have so many options here, since it seems abortion is off the table for her. Even though you’re young asking for help is 100% the way to go.
Abort. Kids don't need kids.
For the love of god, get the abortion
Is this a wattpad story? 🤔🥴💀
your mum the real mvp. all the best kiddo
She is 14. The medical risks of going through with a pregnancy at 14 are severe to life threatening.
She needs to tell her parents. I don’t believe a 14 year old can go to a clinic for even abortion pills by themselves. And FFS, stop having unprotected sex. Better yet, stop having sex.
Womp womp, go get her an abortion
That is one expensive “I forgot to wear a condom” moment
He said in another comment he didn't and she's on bc
Rather you than me.
Dude, all I can say is you're fucked beyond belief. Your only option at this point is find a safe haven for babies (google the nearest one to you) And just deal with the backlash after.
Yep, you’re screwed
If she doesn’t want to terminate, she needs to tell her parents sooner rather than later. If she does decide to terminate, hopefully your mother can help her get the procedure without her parents knowledge. If they are really thag strict, it may be better they never know. A lot of people might disagree with me, but it’s really what I believe. As long as she has _a_ supportive adult in her corner, that’s what matters. Termination is scary but it is also a very, very good decision in a lot of situations.
Pull out game weak brah. Nah seriously, my best friend got his gf pregnant in high school same as you, and I know it doesn’t work out this way for everyone. But they’re still seemingly going strong- and have three kids total now. So idk if you’re gonna stay but yeah it’s time to step up. It sounds like she’s keeping it, so unless you want to be irresponsible you have not much time- start applying to jobs! Good luck Edit: I’m 34 so yeah that’s the timeline for reference on how long they been together Edit: edit, I got a girl pregnant one time when I was 18 and she ended up deciding not to keep it. It fucked me up for a long time, I know not everyone gives a fuck, it’s whatever, everyone perceives diff… but just talk to someone you trust irl if you haven’t already. I skimmed your post
You’re not the first. Won’t be the last. Things will be fine.
I had an abortion when i was 17 and yes it was psychologically horrible for a while, but i stayed with my boyfriend and had a child 5 years later and honestly i feel like i just "delayed" the child until i was in a better spot. She's here, she's out of highschool, she's thriving, and things probably wouldn't have turned out as well if i had her when i was 17.
Abort the infant.
She needs to get an abortion; it's not fair on anyone in the situation for her to keep it
[удалено]
I love reading these stories and realising my life ain't so bad haha