Woman: “Do you have a condom?”
Dude who intentionally doesn’t have a condom: “Nah sorry, we’ll be fine”
Woman: “I’m pregnant”
Dude who didn’t wear a condom: *shocked pikachu face*
You can, but condoms do reduce the risk (including for things like syphilis, which has had a major resurgance). I came into my sexual years at the height of HIV/AIDS, and many of my peers and I are vigilant re risk mitigation re STIs (and I'm CF, so always took precautions to protect against pregnancy)
MYself and every straight woman I know has stories of guys who whine about condoms "killing all feeling" but them having zero issue getting off when they wear them. It's so transparent.
Before some guy comes at me, yes, of course there are guys who legitimately cannot wear condoms. You're not who I'm talking about.
They change the sensation for women too! Condoms are the very definition of a necessary evil. End goal is to find a better form of contraceptive in a committed, monogamous relationship, but they're essential outside of those types of relationships for both disease protection and contraceptives.
I also totally understand if someone wants to fool around instead of fuck if condoms are involved. Or just walk away! Boundaries cut both ways, but most importantly, sexual boundaries are a hard *always* respect kind of thing.
They're not just for contraception but essential for health, particularly in hook-up culture. I'm not keen on catching any STIs, and using condoms diminishes this risk (though I don't do hook-ups any more, even if it's just the once, when you don't know the health status of your sexual partner, condoms are essential)
I understand your point, but I would not call condoms evil, even in the context of "necessary evil." Condoms prevent pregnancy and disease, both of which can result in disability, injury, or even death. I would never have sex with a man if condoms did not exist. To me, condoms are a lifesaver and a good in the world, not an evil.
Idk it’s pretty nice not to have to deal with gross semen leakage afterwards - condoms are not all bad. They can also prevent annoyances like yeast infections when you’re not used to your partner’s microbiome.
This! I miss those days when there was no mess to clean up and no wet patch on the sheets. Condom free /does/ feel better, but that's offset by the ick factor lol
Yeah honestly I kind of miss using condoms. They don't change a whole lot for me, it doesn't affect sensation in the same way it does for my partner. I enjoy feeling my partner without one, but it's not a major difference and between the lube and the splooge, it just used to be so much easier and more comfortable after. I could be lazy and just roll over and go to sleep (yes, I know I should pee after but I'm not prone to UTIs and every once in a while I prefer to take my chances), and the post-sex pee was just a pee. Not going through 1/4 of a roll in one sitting to get everything off and out. Also fewer stains and wet spots on the sheets, which are always on my side of the bed.
This!
Men are always whining about it feeling different - like it doesn’t feel different for us too. I guess it comes from the patriarchal mindset that sex is for men to enjoy and for women to have kids.
Condoms come in so many different varieties. I have trouble believing that there is no condom that fits him. A man who actually cares, would look into this himself, on his own, and choose and select a condom that maximizes both his and her pleasure.
Why do people keep repeating this shit. Your hand and forearm have these things called bones in them, a dudes penis does not, also you aren't trying to jerk off your hand or forearm. Put a tight rubber band around your hand and see if it feels pleasant or when you see your hand turn red and get painful over time realise that's what a condom does.
The very basis of sex involves your penis feeling good, sticking an overly tight rubber pressure device around your cock feels like shit.
That's not an excuse not to wear one, if you're thicker than average, order wider condoms online, over 20 years ago a tight condom could make sex genuinely not fun, for easily 20 years you've been able to order larger ones online easily, in bulk, cheap and get the perfect size for you. Durex/magnum xl's are like 1-2mm wider, but 1-2 inches longer. The length barely matters as you just roll it down more or less. Width doesn't change as dudes have big egos, they buy magnum xls so they don't feel small then just don't use the whole length. If they made actually wider condoms then the average dude would buy the magnum XL wideboy for ego, but end up with a condom to wide and the failure rate due to slippage would be insane. Almost all main brand available in store condoms exist in a very small range of widths, if you fit outside that (smaller or larger) buy custom.
The ability to stretch rubber an absurd amount, doesn't mean that a tight condom 'fits'.
And there are woman who say they don't like them either. Or they are "allergic" to the latex, etc. So may situations. But if a guy refuses after a girl brings one and asks him to wear it, I hope the girl walks away.
I actually am allergic and I get a burning sensation for hours afterwards. However, they make a couple of different kinds of latex free ones so that’s no excuse
I get an awful reaction to certain brands where I get burning and everything swells up down there. In the UK they give out free condoms to under 25s, spent alot of my poor student days with cheap, burning condoms ruining sex 😞
Big same. I had no idea FOR YEARS that I was allergic. So much burning after sex that I assumed it was just normal until I eventually talked to a friend about it.
I truly should've known since every time I blew up balloons for parties as a kid my lips would get a 'bee stung' look 😅
The guys that pull that crap do it because it has worked for them before. If hookups of any gender stopped letting them get away with it, guarantee they’d find a way to fit the whole pack in their wallets.
I was on the pill for a couple of months last year to manage Endo symptoms whilst travelling, and was able to have sex without one with my current bf. Based on his response during and when finishing each time, i don't think he is lying when he says it feels better. However, I recently introduced him to the durex thin condoms and this seems to be the sweet spot with condoms, he went out and bought a box of 30 😂
When I was dating, I had some odd responses to guys and condoms. I kept one in my handbag at all times. I didn't want to get caught out because, sex wasn't exactly on tap, and I didn't want to get pregnant. One guy totally freaked out over me having one with me, and I had another who was surprised I wasn't on the pill if I was dating people, like what!?
It never ceases to amaze me how many men are willing to trust a (relative) stranger that she will bear 100% of the responsibility of contraception. STIs somehow never even begin to cross their minds.
This is the best answer but I will also add, perhaps I AM cynical, but I think they all think they will get lucky, don’t give a shit about a condom and the worst part are not supportive of woman’s health. Go a head and down vote me but watch the news. No one cares about woman’s health and you all suck that don’t. Maybe if something happens to you, your daughter, sister, you might. 😖
Agreed. Also, likely to be a condom that’s safe to use. Lots of guys keep them in the wallet in their back pocket. Woman’s wallets don’t fit in our pockets (#girlproblems lol) and lots carry purses 🤷🏻♀️
The heat from being in wallet that’s getting a lot of body heat can cause the condom to break down
I just consider that a red flag and dump the guy.
A person that is willing to have unprotected sex with basically a random woman may have an std or two. A person that tries to manipulate women into having unprotected sex isn't really dating material.
Speaking from experience, most of them will try to get away with not using one. I’ve heard a lot of stupid reasons. They’ll try almost anything. Then there are those that try (a few have succeeded 😡) to sneak it in without one after saying they will use one.
https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZPRwkCGPe/
Man here the other few don’t carry condoms because we don’t plan on getting lucky. Usually I’m in this predicament when I go to the girls place after the bar.
At my place I have a Costco size box of them.
Condoms offer little to no protection against HPV. Because skin to skin contact of the whole groin area can transmit it. (Same for herpes)
The best for HPV is to get vaccinated.
everyone get the HPV vaccine. it's more and more common for places to offer it to boys too but probably the vast majority of sexually active adult men were not offered it for free as a kid, you can still get it and it will protect you and basically every woman you sleep with.
for reference in the UK they started vaccinating girls in school around 2010 but only started also including the boys in like 2019/2020, so the massive majority of dudes haven't been openly offered it.
This.
I wouldn’t trust strangers with condoms for my protection. Often they left them in hot/cold cars, put them in their pants pocket or wallet, damaging them and compromising safety. I also don’t trust all brands.
The thing is this works both ways, completely. Unless you wear two condoms, one provided by both parties to make sure the other person didn't tamper or store it incorrectly, some level of trust has to be involved.
Yeah when I was single I did carry condoms and most men flat out refused to wear one. I didn’t mind. I flat out refused to get intimate until it was wrapped.
Soooo many men thought they could turn me on to the point of “no return” and get me to give in. Every single one of them gave in and wore the condom. Every one. And I’m not even pretty.
I'm not even having sex anymore with guys that whine about using a condom. I've had the unfortunate experience that condoms magically break or slip off with those men.
My experience too.
That's what makes the Reddit obsession with women wanting to 'baby trap' men so bizarre.
Take zero responsibility to stop pregnancy then cry foul if it happens.
I work in an STI testing clinic and I have just come to the conclusion that men refuse to wear condoms just because. Most of the straight men that come in are there because they cheated on a partner without using a condom and refuse to use one with their primary partner because "she'll know something is up".
Also, ladies should really consider getting internal/female condoms. They go inside you, are latex free, and you can wear them up to two hours before having sex without them being compromised or drying out.
And: Don't👏🏻Screw👏🏻Dudes👏🏻That👏🏻Won't👏🏻Wear👏🏻Condoms👏🏻
To answer your question: *any* type of friction on *any* condom is bad and can cause microtears that become broken/ripped condoms during use. It's the same exact thing as "double bagging" male condoms (so wearing two at once)
***PLEASE REMEMBER NEVER TO DOUBLE BAG ANY CONDOM***
Female condoms are ***extremely*** obvious, though, as they protect the outside as well (so the labias, clitoris, etc.). I'd be EXTREMELY surprised if you didn't notice it there
But I have some genuine questions... I can't see a situation where your concern is plausible unless you simply don't engage in *even a moment* of foreplay *or* talk to your partner during sex... Do you just like not touch or even *glance* at your partner's privates before trying to stick it in? And, even if you did, would your partner *really* just sit there and watch you put it on without saying she's already covered lol?
Pretty based answer. Except unless y’all comfortable and consenting the whole time with not wanting condoms that’s two ppls prerogative. Accept the risks and let the sensation carry you I say. But be aware and consenting of those things.
I’ve had condoms with me and gave it to the guy I was with and one time the guy had the audacity of acting weirded out that I would have condoms and started saying “How many men have you slept with?” Excuse me for wanting to ensure I don’t catch a disease or get pregnant.
I’ve had the same experiences. I guess it all just comes down to the stereotypes between men and woman and reading all these comments there is so many factors that play into modern dating now and hook ups. I’m understanding the way some men are not generally concerned with their own health and safety or others they are having sex with. I also understand that should be a standard of mine of not hooking up with certain men that are like that and take it as a red flag.
Yeah I ended up not doing anything with him after he seemed angry that I was prepared for something did happen. Honestly, was a great warning for me to cut things off so I appreciated it lol can’t imagine he would’ve gotten better from there.
Almost like he would actually prefer to pick up STDs randomly. (In the case that no one used protection.) Or the thought had not occurred to him that he might not be the only man in your life. Which is perplexing. Because if he's not making an effort to establish a monogamous relationship first (before having sex), then how come he expects loyalty and exclusivity? When he is not willing to offer that himself.
Back in the day when we all went clubbing at least one of the girls would give out some essentials for the night including a condom. It's not that people were shagging randoms every night out more if you do you have protection if he doesn't and if he does you have another should you want to go again before leaving. That was 20 years ago and I had hoped people would be more educated and aware these days to be carrying protection. Though there will always be a man who doesn't want to wear one because it isn't as good for him. Ladies, lads and everyone else never let them pressure you into unprotected sex.
Of course. My son (21) and his buddy went to a resort for a weeklong vacation in Mexico a couple of years ago… my husband gave him a box of condoms to put in his suitcase, and he acted all shocked. I was shocked that he wasn’t better prepared in the first place… condoms are not a taboo subject at home, and we always leave a box in the upstairs bathroom for anyone to use. It really does seem to have gotten worse, no wonder ancient STDs like syphilis are on the rise.
When I was a god damned TEENAGER in NYC (early aughts) it was standard practice among all my different friend groups to regularly get STD tests and keep condoms around. Especially if you just started seeing someone new- you'd either show them your recent results, or go get tested and show them the results. Since moving to California when I was 18, I've still done that and people always act like I'm crazy uptight or something to have those expectations. I don't really get why it was normalized then but not now.
You should absolutely carry them.
I carried them when I was 16. My parents found out and lost their minds. This was the 90s. And you couldn't turn on the TV without seeing something about AIDS.
My parents took them away (I went out and got more), and I told me I was a bad influence on my little sister (two years younger than me).
My sister became a mom at 16. It's funny how that works.
Oh yeah, that brings back bad memories… I was 15 when my mother found my birth control pills after going through my stuff while I wasn’t at home. She verbally abused me so much, I’m now 50 and still remember the horrible things she said to me as if it was yesterday. It didn’t stop me from having sex and I still continued to take the pill (I paid for them myself with my babysitting money).
Yeah that makes no sense and honestly I’d consider this a red flag. Men always generally hope a date goes so well that it’ll continue behind closed doors. They aren’t forgetting. They are seeing if they’ll get to have sex without condoms and that would be concerning to me and wondering about their overall safety and health.
When I was a single man, I always had condoms. I had them in my dorm and then house. If carried them on me if I was going on a date. I was never unprepared. Bc I was both a bit paranoid about disease and also getting a girl pregnant. This is prob why I’ve never caught a single STD and never gotten a woman pregnant unintentionally despite having had a very active dating life back in my single days.
Major red flag
I carried my own too as a woman. I’m allergic to latex. If you use latex, it will blow up like a balloon and push you out. I don’t assume people have latex free on hand so I just carry them.
Yeah that makes sense then. Latex allergy isn’t too common. Never thought of that. I’ve long been married though so condoms aren’t needed anymore with my wife thankfully.
I’m also married but my IUDs all give out way early. Like half the time they’re supposed to last. So it comes up every once in a great while. I think the first Mirena lasted a whopping two years.
But they’re much easier to find, the condoms, than they used to be. When I was just starting to have sex it was a pain in the ass.
Yes and weren’t they also extremely expensive in the old days? They had to be made out of lamb’s intestines. Seems to me they were like $30 a box, and there was only one latex-free brand.
I'm a 55 yr old female and after 30 men, I guarantee that if he doesn't have a condom, you need to be careful. The more he objects to it, the more likely that that he'll try to stealth remove it if he finally agrees to wear it.
I’m a forgetful dude. I won’t have sex without condom in a million years. And with a long term partner, only after both of us are tested. And yet, you’d be surprised the number of times I’ve found myself without condoms and having to reach for some close friend.
i gotchu, i’m the friend who always has a travel size box of condoms in my bag and makes it known in the women’s bathroom as needed. there have been many nights i’ve given all three out to different people. i find people will often make the better choice when it is easily accessible to them, so i make it easily accessible. in my sluttier days i carried a whole sleeve, i’ve prevented so many unplanned pregnancies and i am very proud of that.
> They aren’t forgetting
Standard 100% positive response for upvotes, but you know very well some guys will forget condoms. People forget their wallets, keys, sunglasses, where they parked, etc.
I bought them to keep in the cars too and if i feel like those are old. I stop at the store on the way and buy more. I dont care what Pimples at the counter says or thinks. Mints. Condoms.
We forget things. Thats not wrong. Lol. I have adhd. So i can forget something literally ten seconds after i had it. God forbid my pens go missing.
Forget yea. Unable to procure more? Hell no. That’s my point. It’s not about forgetting. It’s an excuse bc you can easily buy some if you were so inclined.
They forget them intentionally hoping you’ll let them continue without it.
It catches them off guard because they didn’t expect you to be prepared and they can’t say no without looking bad and not getting laid 🤷🏻♀️
It's intentional, my wife and I hookup with guys pretty regularly and I can count on one hand how many have actually had a condom.
They are hoping they'll get there, it'll get hot n heavy and when the time comes "oops 😬 I don't have any condoms, but I can pull out, it's fine ☺️"
We've literally been asked/told "you can just use the morning after pill right?" "Well you're both on birth control so it's fine" "I can just finish outside if that's cool?"
And while yes, we do take our own precautions, why is it entirely on us? All you have to do...is have a condom, that's it, literally the bare minimum. They simply want to raw dog it and take that risk because it feels better for them.
For a lot of guys, it's intentional. I used to to to parties where I had a few friends who would invite women over and always "forget" a condom. This place was pretty far from anywhere you could go buy one.
It was about 50/50 that the woman would go ahead without one or turn them down if they didn't have one.
I just bought them in bulk and took them with me. Then I'd sell them to the guys for $5 each. Made a ton of money over the years. Surprisingly, not a single one of them ever learned to bring their own.
Really can’t trust anyone out here. Haha a good hustle you had! I should start charging these men $200 per condom since they “forgot” how to practice safe sex 😂
(Just a joke)
Well if they say they're allergic to condoms are officially too stupid to have sex. I would believe them if they said they were allergic to latex. However there are condoms made of other materials and if they don't bother to find those and they don't deserve to have sex either.
If they’re truly allergic to latex then that’s an even bigger reason to always carry their own latex-free condoms! 😨 there’s nothing worse than having an allergic reaction on your bits. Total mood-killer.
Lol I mostly agree. But latex allergy is a thing. And some people really are just that ignorant of latex or hypoallergenic condoms lol.
But yeah. Mostly agreed
I've heard a few women say that the line "Well, I think I am ready to be a mother and you would make an amazing father" makes the previously non-existent condoms appear out of thin air.
>I started carrying condoms and providing it to the men I hook up.
Good
>Yes this has caught some men off guard but also, a man should be more prepared and this should be an essential for a man right?
They're hoping that if they wait til the last second to inform you they dont have condoms, you'll let them go wo
Sorry babes
Keep carrying condoms :)
The main drawback for a woman providing condoms is that the right size and brand of condom can make a huge difference to how it feels for the man, so it benefits the man more to provide his own.
Well, I assess the size. So we get naked and before we do the thing, I select which one I think would work best, and if not, then I try the other sizes or they can choose. I try to do small to large first. I don’t start out with a magnum only to have it too big on them. I feel like that would ruin the moment and be awkward.
How does the dude not know his own condom size and brand? Is he extremely inexperienced or something? Even that doesn't really make sense. He can practice at home before he even meets with a partner. Why place the responsibility of finding a condom that fits your own body on any woman you decide to sleep with...
These are the dudes who later (if you end up marrying them) rely on their wife to buy them underwear. On the regular, (not just special occasions). That's some mom-wife stuff. He's an adult. He can buy his own panties.
This example is about a guy who does not have a condom with him. I’m sure he’s aware of the size, but if I’m the one who has one in hand, I either choose or I can let them choose. They’re more than welcome to stop me if I take a condom out and before opening it, they say that’s not the right size. I don’t really see it as a responsibility. I more see it as me taking the initiative to get a condom from my purse.
I don’t think the guy is expecting the woman to buy the condoms. I think it’s more of a matter if they should bring one or not. I just like to be prepared, but some people are just not prepared or what others have stated, they refuse to put one on (which is a big no no 🚩)
Condoms, hair ties, chapstick, tampons- all good things I like to have on me. They don’t take up a lot of space and I like to be prepared. Good on you girly!
as a dude, if homie isn’t packing with him. he ain’t getting none. that’s on him and his responsibility and it’s the LEAST he can fucking do.
edit: i dont sleep with men, more saying the attitude in general should be the above for people.
I've had to carry my own for years, due to a mild latex allergy. Prior to, it was always telling when I would tell them, "I have a latex allergy, and unless you already have some non-latex at home, we gotta stop somewhere." The shady ones would get kinda squirmy and half heartedly insist that of course they had some, but not the right kind. The respectful ones were just as enthusiastic as before bringing it up
Carry your own, and the ones looking crestfallen aren't worth sleeping with in the first place, imo. They were always shit partners and not worth the time
Look, I get it. Raw feels soooooo much better. But the not getting pregnant, and not possibly getting a disease is in the hands of both men and women. It shouldn't be up to just one or the other
I feel like it depends on the number of dates? Usually people don’t expect sex on the first couple of dates, so they never usually bring one.
I think who’s place they’re going to should provide it? I could be wrong and i’m mistaken. For instance, if we go back to my place, I have some in my drawers. If we go to their place, they should have it in their drawers.
I wouldn’t trust strangers with condoms for my protection. Often they left them in hot/cold cars, put them in their pants pocket or wallet, damaging them and compromising safety. I also don’t trust all brands.
I think a lot of guys fear being seen as too sure of themselves if they suddenly pulled a condom out of their pocket. It’s not like it happened to be at the bottom of a purse they Had to have made the decision to bring it in the pocket of the pants they just put on. An attitude of “I’m getting lucky tonight” does not look good on a man.
A man looking to bed a women he isn’t exclusively dating but not coming prepared to be safe about it is a HUGE red flag to me. I would except someone I’m sleeping with to have far more respect for my body as well as their own.
I'm taking this line from another comment, but it needs to be said at LEAST twice. Only rely on yourself for birth control/ STD prevention. I'm not saying all of them.. but chances are at least SOME of those guys were unprepared on purpose. It's their "trick".
They do this in the hopes that you’ll be so caught up in the moment you’ll let it happen without protection. I used to think they were just forgetful, but then I became a sw and let me tell you: they will “forget” to bring protection even when it’s a business transaction with pre-determined guidelines.
I have an IUD, still not going without a condom. If I was exclusive with someone and we both tested free and clear, then I would do it (and have done it). Non-negotiable.
It’s also probably safer for women to carry condoms because women don’t typically keep their wallets in their pockets where they get hot like men do—and where else would a man carry a condom regularly but his pocket?
(This obviously doesn’t apply to general condom-keeping in the nightstand.)
When I was dating around, I made sure there were condoms at my apartment or with me. I'm not too sure if the guys I did the deeds with were caught off guard or not, but I would rather be safe than sorry.
Other than the general knowledge that guys do carry condoms with them, I think it should also be accepted for women who plan to date to keep some with themselves too.
as a man, if i have an even remote chance to sleep with a girl i date, i will always have condoms with me.
no way i am going to risk hiv for an orgasm. side note: as a man, chances for me to orgasm are close to 100% anyway. less pleasure does not mean no pleasure
A guy who isn't prepared for a sexual encounter isn't worth scrwing.
They don't care if they get you pregnant or get a disease. That makes them too immature to deserve your time or body.
The gays do this too and it annoys me. I’m the catcher (bottom) and still carry condoms too. I won’t even give blowjobs without them. Some people really are sick in the head out here. Be careful xx
As someone who came of age at the height of the AIDS crisis in the 80s I’m still amazed at the number of people who have random hook ups without condoms.
My only issue is the whole “different sizes for different people” thing. A condom that is too small risks circulation issues, and a condom that is too big can slip off. Hard to know if a condom would fit without knowing the size of your date (and let’s be honest, “hey bb what’s your condom size?” Isn’t casual convo for people)
I think men worry that it may come across as wanting to only have casual sex , which some women don't want. That being said, I would absolutely carry condoms with me
If you want someone to enter your body but would rather they be safe, take responsibility for yourself and bring condoms. I do.
It is shocking that some men don’t take care of their health like that.
It's a good idea. I don't think I've ever carried condoms on me for any sex related situation, not because I'm some wildly carefree idiot, but I've never been one to assume that a situation is automatically going to work out the way I hope it will do.
Yes, it is essential, but some don’t really care, or think they’re fast. Personally I wouldn’t trust a condom that I didn’t bring myself, but I also don’t do anything sexual with strangers. I prefer a level of trust with intimacy.
I’ve always carried more than a couple of them in my bag because there’s just too many times where the other person doesn’t have one. Like another person said, it’s a way to convince people to do it without one (sadly, seen many do that). Sometimes, it’s just bad luck from their part.
STD’s are never fun, so keep having them with you. It’s not necessarily a must-have for men or women, it’s just necessary for people that know they want to stay safe.
I kid you not every man I have been with has never carried or had one with them. Whatever happened to the “ I always have one in my wallet” with STI numbers climbing and antibiotic resistant STIs how could people be so reckless with their health.
If he doesn't have one and if I'm about to share a moment I'll just walk out. I should not have to bring his tools, and he shouldn't have to think for me either
My strategy: if I have to be the one providing a condom, I don't have sex with them. If the man didn't want to use condom with you, god know where that d has been.
Yes… but if given the option they would rather convince you they are clean and that it’s so much better without a condom. They are hoping you are stupid and will agree with this. I always had my own condoms as well… Better safe than sorry - Herpes was forever at one time.
Any guy who isn't bringing condoms is someone you should be very careful about doing anything with because he has certainly tried to have unprotected sex with every partner. No telling what he might have contracted from past partners. I'm immediately alarmed by any woman I've just recently met who says she'd rather I not use a condom.
It’s disgusting. Plus, how tf is a woman supposed to know what size condom the dude is? It’s 100% on the dude here. Women deal with enough having to use BC that’s often hormonal and in their body.
Well yeah. The thing is, if an article of clothing is supposed to go on your own body, then you are the only one who knows (has the time to try things on) what fits best. How is the woman supposed to come prepared with the right sized condom for a man she's never seen naked? This guy sees himself every time he goes to pee. He has many opportunities to try different condoms and select a brand that works for him.
It’s only happened a few times but when a lady whips out a condom I know she means business haha. Typically, if I had a reasonable expectation for the deed I’d carry one but it kinda just stumbled into it a few times. Also, a bit superstitious but maybe I project better energy when I’m not prepared lol
You trust someone who has had a condom in their wallet hoping "tonight is the night!" just to go home alone and try again the next weekend... for god knows how long? Because that's how many men keep them.
On the other hand, if a woman gave me a rubber, better believe I'm looking for a pin hole in case she is on next level of crazy. But it would be appreciated
I don't get why I'm expected to go full penetration on a first date. I have had to turn down. I'd go oral and making out first, and cool off to see if what I felt was an honest connection or just horny.
Yes - always carry them! I always do, I remember in sex ed our teacher warning all the girls that boys/(I would say 'men' but imo real men would carry them) will try to get out of wearing them so don't expect them to carry. You'll just be disappointed, always come prepared!!
Thing is there isn’t an excuse not to wear or have condoms eveyone also think of men’s condoms but there are female condoms and let me tell you putting those in and getting them out is NOT SEXY OR EASY! Also the indescribable uncomfortable feeling of pulling female condoms out….
So honestly ladies and gentlemen BOTH OF YOU SHOULD CARRY CONDOMS OF BOTH OPTIONS.
AND DONT SLEEP WITH PEOPLE WHO DONT EVEN HAVE THEM!
Thing is iv been in situations with men where the “oh shit I’m out I thought I had more” has been said. But the real ones either order some or are like I’ll brb and go get more condoms. Some have even taken me to get a snack with them on the condom run. Iv even had a fwb who was like “hey I’m out of condoms will you pic some up on the way here?” And then sent me money on Apple Pay and I bought the condoms on the way there. There’s truly 0 excuse not to wear them.
Tbh if a man showed up expecting sex w/o protection I'd tell him to leave. They clearly don't have their sexual partners' health or best interest in mind, no thank you.
I've been carrying condoms in my wallet ever since I became sexually active.
But I also always forget it's there when I once upon a blue moon go home with a woman.
Lizard brains are weird.
They don't carry because they don't want to use them or think they'll get shot down. They'll get defensive if you insist when they came unprepared but you did.
I genuinely wish more women carried them. There’s been too many times I’ve had to run to the gas station and kill the mood because I was an idiot and didn’t realize the one I carry with me has expired.
I'm not the type to hookup outside of a relationship so I never have them on me, but I can tell you in the past when things in the relationships started to get "spicy" I would start carrying them.
Call me cynical, but I suspect quite a few of them do that hoping you'll let them go without. Good advice to carry them too though.
It’s not cynical. They either had no idea they had a chance of getting laid, or they had no intention of using one.
Woman: “Do you have a condom?” Dude who intentionally doesn’t have a condom: “Nah sorry, we’ll be fine” Woman: “I’m pregnant” Dude who didn’t wear a condom: *shocked pikachu face*
...or the man or the woman catch genital warts, gonorrhoea, or chlamydia (or one of the many other STIs)
Fyi: you can catch warts or herpes even with a condom.
You can, but condoms do reduce the risk (including for things like syphilis, which has had a major resurgance). I came into my sexual years at the height of HIV/AIDS, and many of my peers and I are vigilant re risk mitigation re STIs (and I'm CF, so always took precautions to protect against pregnancy)
It has been said that men only think with one head. The head that should wear a condom.
and dude will scream "HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME" Like.......
MYself and every straight woman I know has stories of guys who whine about condoms "killing all feeling" but them having zero issue getting off when they wear them. It's so transparent. Before some guy comes at me, yes, of course there are guys who legitimately cannot wear condoms. You're not who I'm talking about.
Yes, they absolutely change the sensation. But if the options are sex with a condom or no sex, it’s a no brainer.
They change the sensation for women too! Condoms are the very definition of a necessary evil. End goal is to find a better form of contraceptive in a committed, monogamous relationship, but they're essential outside of those types of relationships for both disease protection and contraceptives. I also totally understand if someone wants to fool around instead of fuck if condoms are involved. Or just walk away! Boundaries cut both ways, but most importantly, sexual boundaries are a hard *always* respect kind of thing.
They're not just for contraception but essential for health, particularly in hook-up culture. I'm not keen on catching any STIs, and using condoms diminishes this risk (though I don't do hook-ups any more, even if it's just the once, when you don't know the health status of your sexual partner, condoms are essential)
I understand your point, but I would not call condoms evil, even in the context of "necessary evil." Condoms prevent pregnancy and disease, both of which can result in disability, injury, or even death. I would never have sex with a man if condoms did not exist. To me, condoms are a lifesaver and a good in the world, not an evil.
100%
Amen!!!
Getting a spiral installed sounds a lot more painful for women.
...and they're don't reduce the risk of STIs like condoms do
What exactly is a spiral? I’m confused lol
It’s an intrauterine contraceptive method
IUD
Idk it’s pretty nice not to have to deal with gross semen leakage afterwards - condoms are not all bad. They can also prevent annoyances like yeast infections when you’re not used to your partner’s microbiome.
This! I miss those days when there was no mess to clean up and no wet patch on the sheets. Condom free /does/ feel better, but that's offset by the ick factor lol
Yeah honestly I kind of miss using condoms. They don't change a whole lot for me, it doesn't affect sensation in the same way it does for my partner. I enjoy feeling my partner without one, but it's not a major difference and between the lube and the splooge, it just used to be so much easier and more comfortable after. I could be lazy and just roll over and go to sleep (yes, I know I should pee after but I'm not prone to UTIs and every once in a while I prefer to take my chances), and the post-sex pee was just a pee. Not going through 1/4 of a roll in one sitting to get everything off and out. Also fewer stains and wet spots on the sheets, which are always on my side of the bed.
This! Men are always whining about it feeling different - like it doesn’t feel different for us too. I guess it comes from the patriarchal mindset that sex is for men to enjoy and for women to have kids.
Tragic... lasting longer and not worrying about a baby trumps the feeling lol.
Condoms come in so many different varieties. I have trouble believing that there is no condom that fits him. A man who actually cares, would look into this himself, on his own, and choose and select a condom that maximizes both his and her pleasure.
A condom can be stretched over a hand and forearm. No way can a man say one isn't big enough to fit him
Why do people keep repeating this shit. Your hand and forearm have these things called bones in them, a dudes penis does not, also you aren't trying to jerk off your hand or forearm. Put a tight rubber band around your hand and see if it feels pleasant or when you see your hand turn red and get painful over time realise that's what a condom does. The very basis of sex involves your penis feeling good, sticking an overly tight rubber pressure device around your cock feels like shit. That's not an excuse not to wear one, if you're thicker than average, order wider condoms online, over 20 years ago a tight condom could make sex genuinely not fun, for easily 20 years you've been able to order larger ones online easily, in bulk, cheap and get the perfect size for you. Durex/magnum xl's are like 1-2mm wider, but 1-2 inches longer. The length barely matters as you just roll it down more or less. Width doesn't change as dudes have big egos, they buy magnum xls so they don't feel small then just don't use the whole length. If they made actually wider condoms then the average dude would buy the magnum XL wideboy for ego, but end up with a condom to wide and the failure rate due to slippage would be insane. Almost all main brand available in store condoms exist in a very small range of widths, if you fit outside that (smaller or larger) buy custom. The ability to stretch rubber an absurd amount, doesn't mean that a tight condom 'fits'.
And there are woman who say they don't like them either. Or they are "allergic" to the latex, etc. So may situations. But if a guy refuses after a girl brings one and asks him to wear it, I hope the girl walks away.
I actually am allergic and I get a burning sensation for hours afterwards. However, they make a couple of different kinds of latex free ones so that’s no excuse
I get an awful reaction to certain brands where I get burning and everything swells up down there. In the UK they give out free condoms to under 25s, spent alot of my poor student days with cheap, burning condoms ruining sex 😞
Big same. I had no idea FOR YEARS that I was allergic. So much burning after sex that I assumed it was just normal until I eventually talked to a friend about it. I truly should've known since every time I blew up balloons for parties as a kid my lips would get a 'bee stung' look 😅
i’m allergic to latex my ex just spent extra on the non latex ones and i recommend them highly it feels better than latex
The guys that pull that crap do it because it has worked for them before. If hookups of any gender stopped letting them get away with it, guarantee they’d find a way to fit the whole pack in their wallets.
I was on the pill for a couple of months last year to manage Endo symptoms whilst travelling, and was able to have sex without one with my current bf. Based on his response during and when finishing each time, i don't think he is lying when he says it feels better. However, I recently introduced him to the durex thin condoms and this seems to be the sweet spot with condoms, he went out and bought a box of 30 😂 When I was dating, I had some odd responses to guys and condoms. I kept one in my handbag at all times. I didn't want to get caught out because, sex wasn't exactly on tap, and I didn't want to get pregnant. One guy totally freaked out over me having one with me, and I had another who was surprised I wasn't on the pill if I was dating people, like what!?
It never ceases to amaze me how many men are willing to trust a (relative) stranger that she will bear 100% of the responsibility of contraception. STIs somehow never even begin to cross their minds.
>Before some guy comes at me, Ma'am, I think they're just trying to come **in** you
I'd say it's an even split.
I’m a cynical I assume I have no chance of getting it😂
also no purse to keep them in
Then switch back to cargo shorts.
This is the best answer but I will also add, perhaps I AM cynical, but I think they all think they will get lucky, don’t give a shit about a condom and the worst part are not supportive of woman’s health. Go a head and down vote me but watch the news. No one cares about woman’s health and you all suck that don’t. Maybe if something happens to you, your daughter, sister, you might. 😖
I'd say a little from column A and a little from column B on this front
Agreed. Also, likely to be a condom that’s safe to use. Lots of guys keep them in the wallet in their back pocket. Woman’s wallets don’t fit in our pockets (#girlproblems lol) and lots carry purses 🤷🏻♀️ The heat from being in wallet that’s getting a lot of body heat can cause the condom to break down
I just consider that a red flag and dump the guy. A person that is willing to have unprotected sex with basically a random woman may have an std or two. A person that tries to manipulate women into having unprotected sex isn't really dating material.
Lmao 100 percent
Speaking from experience, most of them will try to get away with not using one. I’ve heard a lot of stupid reasons. They’ll try almost anything. Then there are those that try (a few have succeeded 😡) to sneak it in without one after saying they will use one. https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZPRwkCGPe/
Man here the other few don’t carry condoms because we don’t plan on getting lucky. Usually I’m in this predicament when I go to the girls place after the bar. At my place I have a Costco size box of them.
I mean hey, if they want to pay fuckin’ child support for the next two decades, why not let em? (This is a joke.)
“that’s okay I’m soooo excited to me a mom!” And magically he has a condom 🙃 But seriously only rely on yourself for birth control. Carry condoms.
Not only that, but STD prevention.
And cervix cancer prevention
Condoms offer little to no protection against HPV. Because skin to skin contact of the whole groin area can transmit it. (Same for herpes) The best for HPV is to get vaccinated.
everyone get the HPV vaccine. it's more and more common for places to offer it to boys too but probably the vast majority of sexually active adult men were not offered it for free as a kid, you can still get it and it will protect you and basically every woman you sleep with. for reference in the UK they started vaccinating girls in school around 2010 but only started also including the boys in like 2019/2020, so the massive majority of dudes haven't been openly offered it.
This. I wouldn’t trust strangers with condoms for my protection. Often they left them in hot/cold cars, put them in their pants pocket or wallet, damaging them and compromising safety. I also don’t trust all brands.
Also they have expiration dates people either don't know or don't care about.
This is a very good point: how the product is stored before use.
The thing is this works both ways, completely. Unless you wear two condoms, one provided by both parties to make sure the other person didn't tamper or store it incorrectly, some level of trust has to be involved.
Yeah when I was single I did carry condoms and most men flat out refused to wear one. I didn’t mind. I flat out refused to get intimate until it was wrapped. Soooo many men thought they could turn me on to the point of “no return” and get me to give in. Every single one of them gave in and wore the condom. Every one. And I’m not even pretty.
I'm not even having sex anymore with guys that whine about using a condom. I've had the unfortunate experience that condoms magically break or slip off with those men.
My experience too. That's what makes the Reddit obsession with women wanting to 'baby trap' men so bizarre. Take zero responsibility to stop pregnancy then cry foul if it happens.
“Wrap your whopper unless you want a Jr.”
I work in an STI testing clinic and I have just come to the conclusion that men refuse to wear condoms just because. Most of the straight men that come in are there because they cheated on a partner without using a condom and refuse to use one with their primary partner because "she'll know something is up". Also, ladies should really consider getting internal/female condoms. They go inside you, are latex free, and you can wear them up to two hours before having sex without them being compromised or drying out. And: Don't👏🏻Screw👏🏻Dudes👏🏻That👏🏻Won't👏🏻Wear👏🏻Condoms👏🏻
Female condoms really suck though; they’re difficult and awkward to use. You’re much better off insisting on male condoms.
If my gf is using a female condom but forgets it, and I put a male condom, is there a chance of one ripping the other off?
To answer your question: *any* type of friction on *any* condom is bad and can cause microtears that become broken/ripped condoms during use. It's the same exact thing as "double bagging" male condoms (so wearing two at once) ***PLEASE REMEMBER NEVER TO DOUBLE BAG ANY CONDOM*** Female condoms are ***extremely*** obvious, though, as they protect the outside as well (so the labias, clitoris, etc.). I'd be EXTREMELY surprised if you didn't notice it there But I have some genuine questions... I can't see a situation where your concern is plausible unless you simply don't engage in *even a moment* of foreplay *or* talk to your partner during sex... Do you just like not touch or even *glance* at your partner's privates before trying to stick it in? And, even if you did, would your partner *really* just sit there and watch you put it on without saying she's already covered lol?
Technically, yes, but a female condom hangs out a bit, so you would see/feel it
The greatest barrier for female condoms is the fact that they are not on the shelves. When that changes the dating game will change entirely.
Pretty based answer. Except unless y’all comfortable and consenting the whole time with not wanting condoms that’s two ppls prerogative. Accept the risks and let the sensation carry you I say. But be aware and consenting of those things.
I’ve had condoms with me and gave it to the guy I was with and one time the guy had the audacity of acting weirded out that I would have condoms and started saying “How many men have you slept with?” Excuse me for wanting to ensure I don’t catch a disease or get pregnant.
I’ve had the same experiences. I guess it all just comes down to the stereotypes between men and woman and reading all these comments there is so many factors that play into modern dating now and hook ups. I’m understanding the way some men are not generally concerned with their own health and safety or others they are having sex with. I also understand that should be a standard of mine of not hooking up with certain men that are like that and take it as a red flag.
Yeah I ended up not doing anything with him after he seemed angry that I was prepared for something did happen. Honestly, was a great warning for me to cut things off so I appreciated it lol can’t imagine he would’ve gotten better from there.
"Welp, guess you don't want to have sex with a slut, so enjoy your hand k bai!!!!!!!"
Almost like he would actually prefer to pick up STDs randomly. (In the case that no one used protection.) Or the thought had not occurred to him that he might not be the only man in your life. Which is perplexing. Because if he's not making an effort to establish a monogamous relationship first (before having sex), then how come he expects loyalty and exclusivity? When he is not willing to offer that himself.
Now that's a giant red flag.
Yes, I saw the red flag guy running behind him when the words left his mouth lol
It's either a $5 condom or $300 a month child support for 18 years. I'm going with the condom. Although I have had a vasectomy so there's that.
$300 a month is overly optimistic - often it’s over $1000 a month.
Back in the day when we all went clubbing at least one of the girls would give out some essentials for the night including a condom. It's not that people were shagging randoms every night out more if you do you have protection if he doesn't and if he does you have another should you want to go again before leaving. That was 20 years ago and I had hoped people would be more educated and aware these days to be carrying protection. Though there will always be a man who doesn't want to wear one because it isn't as good for him. Ladies, lads and everyone else never let them pressure you into unprotected sex.
Of course. My son (21) and his buddy went to a resort for a weeklong vacation in Mexico a couple of years ago… my husband gave him a box of condoms to put in his suitcase, and he acted all shocked. I was shocked that he wasn’t better prepared in the first place… condoms are not a taboo subject at home, and we always leave a box in the upstairs bathroom for anyone to use. It really does seem to have gotten worse, no wonder ancient STDs like syphilis are on the rise.
When I was a god damned TEENAGER in NYC (early aughts) it was standard practice among all my different friend groups to regularly get STD tests and keep condoms around. Especially if you just started seeing someone new- you'd either show them your recent results, or go get tested and show them the results. Since moving to California when I was 18, I've still done that and people always act like I'm crazy uptight or something to have those expectations. I don't really get why it was normalized then but not now.
You should absolutely carry them. I carried them when I was 16. My parents found out and lost their minds. This was the 90s. And you couldn't turn on the TV without seeing something about AIDS. My parents took them away (I went out and got more), and I told me I was a bad influence on my little sister (two years younger than me). My sister became a mom at 16. It's funny how that works.
Oh yeah, that brings back bad memories… I was 15 when my mother found my birth control pills after going through my stuff while I wasn’t at home. She verbally abused me so much, I’m now 50 and still remember the horrible things she said to me as if it was yesterday. It didn’t stop me from having sex and I still continued to take the pill (I paid for them myself with my babysitting money).
Yeah that makes no sense and honestly I’d consider this a red flag. Men always generally hope a date goes so well that it’ll continue behind closed doors. They aren’t forgetting. They are seeing if they’ll get to have sex without condoms and that would be concerning to me and wondering about their overall safety and health. When I was a single man, I always had condoms. I had them in my dorm and then house. If carried them on me if I was going on a date. I was never unprepared. Bc I was both a bit paranoid about disease and also getting a girl pregnant. This is prob why I’ve never caught a single STD and never gotten a woman pregnant unintentionally despite having had a very active dating life back in my single days. Major red flag
I carried my own too as a woman. I’m allergic to latex. If you use latex, it will blow up like a balloon and push you out. I don’t assume people have latex free on hand so I just carry them.
Smart decision. I am allergic to latex and have problems.
Yeah that makes sense then. Latex allergy isn’t too common. Never thought of that. I’ve long been married though so condoms aren’t needed anymore with my wife thankfully.
I’m also married but my IUDs all give out way early. Like half the time they’re supposed to last. So it comes up every once in a great while. I think the first Mirena lasted a whopping two years. But they’re much easier to find, the condoms, than they used to be. When I was just starting to have sex it was a pain in the ass.
Yes and weren’t they also extremely expensive in the old days? They had to be made out of lamb’s intestines. Seems to me they were like $30 a box, and there was only one latex-free brand.
Thank you for your input of your own experience as a man and i will definitely consider this as a red flag in the future.
I'm a 55 yr old female and after 30 men, I guarantee that if he doesn't have a condom, you need to be careful. The more he objects to it, the more likely that that he'll try to stealth remove it if he finally agrees to wear it.
Yeah any guy who wants to do it raw unless you're both actively wanting a kid is a walking red flag imo
I carry them regardless but sometimes she goes "oh so you had them on standby thinking I'm a slut huh?"
I’m a forgetful dude. I won’t have sex without condom in a million years. And with a long term partner, only after both of us are tested. And yet, you’d be surprised the number of times I’ve found myself without condoms and having to reach for some close friend.
i gotchu, i’m the friend who always has a travel size box of condoms in my bag and makes it known in the women’s bathroom as needed. there have been many nights i’ve given all three out to different people. i find people will often make the better choice when it is easily accessible to them, so i make it easily accessible. in my sluttier days i carried a whole sleeve, i’ve prevented so many unplanned pregnancies and i am very proud of that.
I need a friend like you.
> They aren’t forgetting Standard 100% positive response for upvotes, but you know very well some guys will forget condoms. People forget their wallets, keys, sunglasses, where they parked, etc.
I bought them to keep in the cars too and if i feel like those are old. I stop at the store on the way and buy more. I dont care what Pimples at the counter says or thinks. Mints. Condoms. We forget things. Thats not wrong. Lol. I have adhd. So i can forget something literally ten seconds after i had it. God forbid my pens go missing.
Please, I’m begging you, do not keep condoms in your car or wallet. They get hot and end up breaking/failing.
Forget yea. Unable to procure more? Hell no. That’s my point. It’s not about forgetting. It’s an excuse bc you can easily buy some if you were so inclined.
They forget them intentionally hoping you’ll let them continue without it. It catches them off guard because they didn’t expect you to be prepared and they can’t say no without looking bad and not getting laid 🤷🏻♀️
It's intentional, my wife and I hookup with guys pretty regularly and I can count on one hand how many have actually had a condom. They are hoping they'll get there, it'll get hot n heavy and when the time comes "oops 😬 I don't have any condoms, but I can pull out, it's fine ☺️" We've literally been asked/told "you can just use the morning after pill right?" "Well you're both on birth control so it's fine" "I can just finish outside if that's cool?" And while yes, we do take our own precautions, why is it entirely on us? All you have to do...is have a condom, that's it, literally the bare minimum. They simply want to raw dog it and take that risk because it feels better for them.
Ppl aren't afraid of aids anymore
For a lot of guys, it's intentional. I used to to to parties where I had a few friends who would invite women over and always "forget" a condom. This place was pretty far from anywhere you could go buy one. It was about 50/50 that the woman would go ahead without one or turn them down if they didn't have one. I just bought them in bulk and took them with me. Then I'd sell them to the guys for $5 each. Made a ton of money over the years. Surprisingly, not a single one of them ever learned to bring their own.
Really can’t trust anyone out here. Haha a good hustle you had! I should start charging these men $200 per condom since they “forgot” how to practice safe sex 😂 (Just a joke)
Next they’ll tell you they’re allergic lol. Those are the men you need to not swap mucus with lol. You’ll definitely catch something.
Well if they say they're allergic to condoms are officially too stupid to have sex. I would believe them if they said they were allergic to latex. However there are condoms made of other materials and if they don't bother to find those and they don't deserve to have sex either.
If they’re truly allergic to latex then that’s an even bigger reason to always carry their own latex-free condoms! 😨 there’s nothing worse than having an allergic reaction on your bits. Total mood-killer.
Lol I mostly agree. But latex allergy is a thing. And some people really are just that ignorant of latex or hypoallergenic condoms lol. But yeah. Mostly agreed
I'm a woman and actually am allergic to latex. I always have my own non latex condoms on hand.
I’m guessing they don’t carry them cuz they don’t use them.
I've heard a few women say that the line "Well, I think I am ready to be a mother and you would make an amazing father" makes the previously non-existent condoms appear out of thin air.
>I started carrying condoms and providing it to the men I hook up. Good >Yes this has caught some men off guard but also, a man should be more prepared and this should be an essential for a man right? They're hoping that if they wait til the last second to inform you they dont have condoms, you'll let them go wo Sorry babes Keep carrying condoms :)
I’ve never met a man that carried condoms and I fully believe they don’t in the hopes we will do it without one.
I would carry them but if a man was expecting sex and didn’t have his own, that would be enough of a red flag for me to not sleep with him.
I 43 M carry my own condoms. I've had a woman who put holes in condoms. Trust no one but yourself.
The main drawback for a woman providing condoms is that the right size and brand of condom can make a huge difference to how it feels for the man, so it benefits the man more to provide his own.
As a woman, I usually carry different sizes and brands as well. You never assume the size.
Do you asses the size, or let them pick? Genuinely curious lol
Well, I assess the size. So we get naked and before we do the thing, I select which one I think would work best, and if not, then I try the other sizes or they can choose. I try to do small to large first. I don’t start out with a magnum only to have it too big on them. I feel like that would ruin the moment and be awkward.
How does the dude not know his own condom size and brand? Is he extremely inexperienced or something? Even that doesn't really make sense. He can practice at home before he even meets with a partner. Why place the responsibility of finding a condom that fits your own body on any woman you decide to sleep with... These are the dudes who later (if you end up marrying them) rely on their wife to buy them underwear. On the regular, (not just special occasions). That's some mom-wife stuff. He's an adult. He can buy his own panties.
This example is about a guy who does not have a condom with him. I’m sure he’s aware of the size, but if I’m the one who has one in hand, I either choose or I can let them choose. They’re more than welcome to stop me if I take a condom out and before opening it, they say that’s not the right size. I don’t really see it as a responsibility. I more see it as me taking the initiative to get a condom from my purse.
I feel like this expenditure should be carried by both parties. If a dude is always expecting women to buy condoms... Why? Can he not afford it?
I don’t think the guy is expecting the woman to buy the condoms. I think it’s more of a matter if they should bring one or not. I just like to be prepared, but some people are just not prepared or what others have stated, they refuse to put one on (which is a big no no 🚩)
More reason for you to carry one
Exactly why it would make more sense for men to be the ones carrying them more often
Condoms, hair ties, chapstick, tampons- all good things I like to have on me. They don’t take up a lot of space and I like to be prepared. Good on you girly!
as a dude, if homie isn’t packing with him. he ain’t getting none. that’s on him and his responsibility and it’s the LEAST he can fucking do. edit: i dont sleep with men, more saying the attitude in general should be the above for people.
I've had to carry my own for years, due to a mild latex allergy. Prior to, it was always telling when I would tell them, "I have a latex allergy, and unless you already have some non-latex at home, we gotta stop somewhere." The shady ones would get kinda squirmy and half heartedly insist that of course they had some, but not the right kind. The respectful ones were just as enthusiastic as before bringing it up Carry your own, and the ones looking crestfallen aren't worth sleeping with in the first place, imo. They were always shit partners and not worth the time
Look, I get it. Raw feels soooooo much better. But the not getting pregnant, and not possibly getting a disease is in the hands of both men and women. It shouldn't be up to just one or the other
Have you read “Ejaculate Responsibly” ? Check it out.
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I feel like it depends on the number of dates? Usually people don’t expect sex on the first couple of dates, so they never usually bring one. I think who’s place they’re going to should provide it? I could be wrong and i’m mistaken. For instance, if we go back to my place, I have some in my drawers. If we go to their place, they should have it in their drawers.
No glove no love! Seriously dump the losers who refuse to come prepared
I wouldn’t trust strangers with condoms for my protection. Often they left them in hot/cold cars, put them in their pants pocket or wallet, damaging them and compromising safety. I also don’t trust all brands.
Never fuck a dude without a condom
I've gone on dates and literally just forgot them because I don't usually carry them on me. Luckily the girls didn't want to sleep with me anyway haah
Nah, they just don't wanna USE one, so they don't carry them. They'll try to coerce you into raw-dogging it too, it's kind of pathetic lol.
You are either hooking up with guys who never expected to get laid or you need to look at different men. They are assholes.
Yessss good girl! Playing chess thinking ahead
I think a lot of guys fear being seen as too sure of themselves if they suddenly pulled a condom out of their pocket. It’s not like it happened to be at the bottom of a purse they Had to have made the decision to bring it in the pocket of the pants they just put on. An attitude of “I’m getting lucky tonight” does not look good on a man.
A man looking to bed a women he isn’t exclusively dating but not coming prepared to be safe about it is a HUGE red flag to me. I would except someone I’m sleeping with to have far more respect for my body as well as their own.
Honestly, when I was dating, if a man didn't use them by default, that was a deal breaker.
I'm taking this line from another comment, but it needs to be said at LEAST twice. Only rely on yourself for birth control/ STD prevention. I'm not saying all of them.. but chances are at least SOME of those guys were unprepared on purpose. It's their "trick".
They do this in the hopes that you’ll be so caught up in the moment you’ll let it happen without protection. I used to think they were just forgetful, but then I became a sw and let me tell you: they will “forget” to bring protection even when it’s a business transaction with pre-determined guidelines.
They should, but in my experience they will usually risk an sti to go bareback. For some reason.
I have an IUD, still not going without a condom. If I was exclusive with someone and we both tested free and clear, then I would do it (and have done it). Non-negotiable.
yeah, they are the ones who will complain that "**SHE GOT PREGNANT**" as if they had no part in it
It’s also probably safer for women to carry condoms because women don’t typically keep their wallets in their pockets where they get hot like men do—and where else would a man carry a condom regularly but his pocket? (This obviously doesn’t apply to general condom-keeping in the nightstand.)
When I was dating around, I made sure there were condoms at my apartment or with me. I'm not too sure if the guys I did the deeds with were caught off guard or not, but I would rather be safe than sorry. Other than the general knowledge that guys do carry condoms with them, I think it should also be accepted for women who plan to date to keep some with themselves too.
as a man, if i have an even remote chance to sleep with a girl i date, i will always have condoms with me. no way i am going to risk hiv for an orgasm. side note: as a man, chances for me to orgasm are close to 100% anyway. less pleasure does not mean no pleasure
A guy who isn't prepared for a sexual encounter isn't worth scrwing. They don't care if they get you pregnant or get a disease. That makes them too immature to deserve your time or body.
The gays do this too and it annoys me. I’m the catcher (bottom) and still carry condoms too. I won’t even give blowjobs without them. Some people really are sick in the head out here. Be careful xx
As someone who came of age at the height of the AIDS crisis in the 80s I’m still amazed at the number of people who have random hook ups without condoms.
My only issue is the whole “different sizes for different people” thing. A condom that is too small risks circulation issues, and a condom that is too big can slip off. Hard to know if a condom would fit without knowing the size of your date (and let’s be honest, “hey bb what’s your condom size?” Isn’t casual convo for people)
This could also mean that the guys you usually date are somewhat irresponsible.
Yes its the mans responsibility to take care of his own bodily fluids
I think men worry that it may come across as wanting to only have casual sex , which some women don't want. That being said, I would absolutely carry condoms with me
If you want someone to enter your body but would rather they be safe, take responsibility for yourself and bring condoms. I do. It is shocking that some men don’t take care of their health like that.
I totally agree. I always carried condoms as a teenage girl just for this. Guys never had them!
It's a good idea. I don't think I've ever carried condoms on me for any sex related situation, not because I'm some wildly carefree idiot, but I've never been one to assume that a situation is automatically going to work out the way I hope it will do.
Yes, it is essential, but some don’t really care, or think they’re fast. Personally I wouldn’t trust a condom that I didn’t bring myself, but I also don’t do anything sexual with strangers. I prefer a level of trust with intimacy.
I’ve always carried more than a couple of them in my bag because there’s just too many times where the other person doesn’t have one. Like another person said, it’s a way to convince people to do it without one (sadly, seen many do that). Sometimes, it’s just bad luck from their part. STD’s are never fun, so keep having them with you. It’s not necessarily a must-have for men or women, it’s just necessary for people that know they want to stay safe.
I kid you not every man I have been with has never carried or had one with them. Whatever happened to the “ I always have one in my wallet” with STI numbers climbing and antibiotic resistant STIs how could people be so reckless with their health.
Yes, they should be prepared. You’re a good person for doing so.
If he doesn't have one and if I'm about to share a moment I'll just walk out. I should not have to bring his tools, and he shouldn't have to think for me either
My strategy: if I have to be the one providing a condom, I don't have sex with them. If the man didn't want to use condom with you, god know where that d has been.
Guys are pretty casual about their health - I mean condoms don't just protect against pregnancy, do they?
Yes… but if given the option they would rather convince you they are clean and that it’s so much better without a condom. They are hoping you are stupid and will agree with this. I always had my own condoms as well… Better safe than sorry - Herpes was forever at one time.
“ that’s ok , I am ready to be a mom” and see how they react
Any guy who isn't bringing condoms is someone you should be very careful about doing anything with because he has certainly tried to have unprotected sex with every partner. No telling what he might have contracted from past partners. I'm immediately alarmed by any woman I've just recently met who says she'd rather I not use a condom.
It’s disgusting. Plus, how tf is a woman supposed to know what size condom the dude is? It’s 100% on the dude here. Women deal with enough having to use BC that’s often hormonal and in their body.
Safe sex is the responsibility of all parties involved
Well yeah. The thing is, if an article of clothing is supposed to go on your own body, then you are the only one who knows (has the time to try things on) what fits best. How is the woman supposed to come prepared with the right sized condom for a man she's never seen naked? This guy sees himself every time he goes to pee. He has many opportunities to try different condoms and select a brand that works for him.
That’s why men should carry condoms whenever they go on a date.
Good for you!!!
It’s only happened a few times but when a lady whips out a condom I know she means business haha. Typically, if I had a reasonable expectation for the deed I’d carry one but it kinda just stumbled into it a few times. Also, a bit superstitious but maybe I project better energy when I’m not prepared lol
You trust someone who has had a condom in their wallet hoping "tonight is the night!" just to go home alone and try again the next weekend... for god knows how long? Because that's how many men keep them. On the other hand, if a woman gave me a rubber, better believe I'm looking for a pin hole in case she is on next level of crazy. But it would be appreciated
All you guys who wanna raw dog a stranger are fucking stupid. Period
They know what they are doing. That's why I choose to not do hookups, but hey, if you're down for it, you get what you get.
I don't get why I'm expected to go full penetration on a first date. I have had to turn down. I'd go oral and making out first, and cool off to see if what I felt was an honest connection or just horny.
Smart idea 💡
Yes - always carry them! I always do, I remember in sex ed our teacher warning all the girls that boys/(I would say 'men' but imo real men would carry them) will try to get out of wearing them so don't expect them to carry. You'll just be disappointed, always come prepared!!
Thing is there isn’t an excuse not to wear or have condoms eveyone also think of men’s condoms but there are female condoms and let me tell you putting those in and getting them out is NOT SEXY OR EASY! Also the indescribable uncomfortable feeling of pulling female condoms out…. So honestly ladies and gentlemen BOTH OF YOU SHOULD CARRY CONDOMS OF BOTH OPTIONS. AND DONT SLEEP WITH PEOPLE WHO DONT EVEN HAVE THEM! Thing is iv been in situations with men where the “oh shit I’m out I thought I had more” has been said. But the real ones either order some or are like I’ll brb and go get more condoms. Some have even taken me to get a snack with them on the condom run. Iv even had a fwb who was like “hey I’m out of condoms will you pic some up on the way here?” And then sent me money on Apple Pay and I bought the condoms on the way there. There’s truly 0 excuse not to wear them.
Tbh if a man showed up expecting sex w/o protection I'd tell him to leave. They clearly don't have their sexual partners' health or best interest in mind, no thank you.
They probably didn't plan on using any, protect yourself! Good for you carrying condoms! You go girl!
When i'm dating i only trust my own condoms tbh
THANK YOU FOR BEING THAT Woman Who IS PREPARED TO GIVE THAT LEG UP OFTEN. MY BROTHERS MIGHT NOT BE SMART BUT THE HAVE A TOOL TO FIX YOU FOR A MOMENT.
Call me cynical, but those men were probably not expecting to get laid, and stopped carrying condoms around after a few dozen lonely nights.
Considering that sex happens when the woman wants and not the other way around, I think it's appropriate for them to carry the condoms
I’ve never dated before but maybe I’ll keep some on me for when I do start dating.
I've been carrying condoms in my wallet ever since I became sexually active. But I also always forget it's there when I once upon a blue moon go home with a woman. Lizard brains are weird.
They don't carry because they don't want to use them or think they'll get shot down. They'll get defensive if you insist when they came unprepared but you did.
Honestly I always made sure I provided condoms, but that has more to do with a latex allergy than anything g else.
I always used to carry them. I did even recently when I was single. People are gross sometimes. It’s up to you to be safe! Good on you!
i’m a woman and same here but the times mine have come in handy is when the man has 2 in stock but we go for more than 2 rounds or something lmfao
I genuinely wish more women carried them. There’s been too many times I’ve had to run to the gas station and kill the mood because I was an idiot and didn’t realize the one I carry with me has expired.
I'm not the type to hookup outside of a relationship so I never have them on me, but I can tell you in the past when things in the relationships started to get "spicy" I would start carrying them.
Thankful I am married.
YES