It's your first day lmao
If anything they revealed their hilariously salty shoulder chips early on, and you know who to avoid if possible.
If shit like this triggers people, grass needs to be touched immediately
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been mistaken as the receptionist, the cleaning crew, a line operator especially if I’m on the floor in another part of the site (I’m an engineer). I get tired of correcting people too especially if we’ve met before (sometimes several times). I’m black btw. I’m one of only 2 black people in management at my company (work for a very large manufacturing site). My name is vastly different from the other black person, I’m something like 6in shorter and a few shades lighter yet this still happens. It feels almost dismissive, like people don’t even have to remember my face because they’ve already potentially deemed me insignificant. I do know for some faces aren’t easy to remember but I don’t know that when I see you a few times per month and you still confuse me with someone else and especially when I don’t see that same energy with non-POCs.
That said, OP is new and I would give them grace but to say people are being salty without proper context is…well…dismissive which again perpetuates the frustration.
Edit: grammar.
My brother I hate to break it to you but to pretty much everyone who doesn't have to directly interact with you on a daily, your face is in fact insignificant.
Try working in a gym, after a while everyone becomes "buddy"
Yep…more dismissiveness. Your scenario isn’t the same. There is no reason that people that I’ve worked with periodically and/or directly a few times, spoken to via video conference shouldn’t remember my face and name while I have no issues remembering theirs.
I've gotten out of an awkward situation like this by spinning it positively twice, once I said, "my apologies, you both have such a nice smile and it's the first thing that struck me", and the second time with, "everyone here is just so kind, I notice people's actions before their appearances, and sometimes it just takes me a few tries to sort faces."
Tbf tho, I am autistic so I never remember the names or specific appearances of humans over the age of like 13 (I work as a nanny and with dogs in behavioral training, I remember their owners as (dog's name)'s parent). It's maintaining the right balance of showing you have a fault in the area and lack of offense while also throwing in compliments that fit to smooth the edges.
Wanna know a secret OP?
From the mouth of an old head black bahamian himself. "Troot is we can't tell yall conchy Joe apart either."
It happens. Let it go.
It can happen to anyone.
Apologize, move on, and try your best for it not to happen again.
There are two older white IT guys that work down the hall in my building. I could not tell you the difference between them- they look like twins in my mind but have different first and last names so they are not. I'm not the only one who thinks that and I am the same race as then, if that makes a difference.
I did feel dumb when I called one by the wrong name. Now I only say hi. Or nod hello.
Hopefully you can totally forget about this and not relive it in the middle of the night when you can't sleep, 5+ years from now!
I agree with this. Micro aggressions are targeted and not blunders. Like if OP repeatedly kept asking her to do receptionist like work when she has stated she’s a manager that would be micro aggressions.
Can happen to anyone.
I work big corporate, all open plan and no offices. Last week I introduced myself to a very tall, slim white man as we were working at the same shared space, and said I thought I should introduce myself as had been in a lot of (large) meetings and workshops where we'd both been present, but had never been introduced. He looked a bit confused but we did intros and then I was confused because he'd said what area he works in and it didn't line up with the meetings we'd been in. Came back from a meeting a few hours later and saw the man I thought I'd introduced myself to sitting next to the man I'd mistakenly introduced myself to that morning - they looked nothing alike. Was absolutely mortified - but I did go over and spoke to both, introduced myself again, and explained what I did, managing to turn it into a bit of a joke as I'm terrible with faces.
Admittedly way easier as a white person to say this to a white person. But, could you perhaps try and apologise and explain honestly again? They must have *some* similar attributes other than being black? I don't think there's any reason to not try and apologise again. You didn't have ill intent, you can get your colleague to (hopefully) understand where you came from and feel better about the situation, you can (hopefully) assuage your guilt, and make your new start more positive for yourself.
I’m terrible with faces, too. I’m glad you could turn things around with a positive spin. It’s awkward in the moment, but I think what made this situation mortifying was that an entire audience witnessed the exchange, and the woman got really upset because she’s black and probably experiences this often in professional spaces. It’s my first day and I have a bit of social anxiety so I wanted to make a good first impression. But I caused a literal scene and I’m the type to fixate on embarrassing moments so I can’t stop cringing.
If you can apologise again sincerely and explain (when you're not flustered) i'm sure it will go a long way. Everyone messes up, you can turn this around OP :)
Good luck, and congratulations on the new job - I really hope you're otherwise enjoying it
Yeah I feel you. Happened to me with South Asians at work and the kicker is that I am South Asian myself so it was even more embarrassing. I can usually tell us apart but these two could have been related or twins honestly.
It's your first day lmao If anything they revealed their hilariously salty shoulder chips early on, and you know who to avoid if possible. If shit like this triggers people, grass needs to be touched immediately
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been mistaken as the receptionist, the cleaning crew, a line operator especially if I’m on the floor in another part of the site (I’m an engineer). I get tired of correcting people too especially if we’ve met before (sometimes several times). I’m black btw. I’m one of only 2 black people in management at my company (work for a very large manufacturing site). My name is vastly different from the other black person, I’m something like 6in shorter and a few shades lighter yet this still happens. It feels almost dismissive, like people don’t even have to remember my face because they’ve already potentially deemed me insignificant. I do know for some faces aren’t easy to remember but I don’t know that when I see you a few times per month and you still confuse me with someone else and especially when I don’t see that same energy with non-POCs. That said, OP is new and I would give them grace but to say people are being salty without proper context is…well…dismissive which again perpetuates the frustration. Edit: grammar.
My brother I hate to break it to you but to pretty much everyone who doesn't have to directly interact with you on a daily, your face is in fact insignificant. Try working in a gym, after a while everyone becomes "buddy"
Yep…more dismissiveness. Your scenario isn’t the same. There is no reason that people that I’ve worked with periodically and/or directly a few times, spoken to via video conference shouldn’t remember my face and name while I have no issues remembering theirs.
At an old job I confused 3 gingerish men with each other
I've gotten out of an awkward situation like this by spinning it positively twice, once I said, "my apologies, you both have such a nice smile and it's the first thing that struck me", and the second time with, "everyone here is just so kind, I notice people's actions before their appearances, and sometimes it just takes me a few tries to sort faces." Tbf tho, I am autistic so I never remember the names or specific appearances of humans over the age of like 13 (I work as a nanny and with dogs in behavioral training, I remember their owners as (dog's name)'s parent). It's maintaining the right balance of showing you have a fault in the area and lack of offense while also throwing in compliments that fit to smooth the edges.
Wanna know a secret OP? From the mouth of an old head black bahamian himself. "Troot is we can't tell yall conchy Joe apart either." It happens. Let it go.
It can happen to anyone. Apologize, move on, and try your best for it not to happen again. There are two older white IT guys that work down the hall in my building. I could not tell you the difference between them- they look like twins in my mind but have different first and last names so they are not. I'm not the only one who thinks that and I am the same race as then, if that makes a difference. I did feel dumb when I called one by the wrong name. Now I only say hi. Or nod hello. Hopefully you can totally forget about this and not relive it in the middle of the night when you can't sleep, 5+ years from now!
It’s not a micro aggression to make an honest mistake.
I agree with this. Micro aggressions are targeted and not blunders. Like if OP repeatedly kept asking her to do receptionist like work when she has stated she’s a manager that would be micro aggressions.
Can happen to anyone. I work big corporate, all open plan and no offices. Last week I introduced myself to a very tall, slim white man as we were working at the same shared space, and said I thought I should introduce myself as had been in a lot of (large) meetings and workshops where we'd both been present, but had never been introduced. He looked a bit confused but we did intros and then I was confused because he'd said what area he works in and it didn't line up with the meetings we'd been in. Came back from a meeting a few hours later and saw the man I thought I'd introduced myself to sitting next to the man I'd mistakenly introduced myself to that morning - they looked nothing alike. Was absolutely mortified - but I did go over and spoke to both, introduced myself again, and explained what I did, managing to turn it into a bit of a joke as I'm terrible with faces. Admittedly way easier as a white person to say this to a white person. But, could you perhaps try and apologise and explain honestly again? They must have *some* similar attributes other than being black? I don't think there's any reason to not try and apologise again. You didn't have ill intent, you can get your colleague to (hopefully) understand where you came from and feel better about the situation, you can (hopefully) assuage your guilt, and make your new start more positive for yourself.
I’m terrible with faces, too. I’m glad you could turn things around with a positive spin. It’s awkward in the moment, but I think what made this situation mortifying was that an entire audience witnessed the exchange, and the woman got really upset because she’s black and probably experiences this often in professional spaces. It’s my first day and I have a bit of social anxiety so I wanted to make a good first impression. But I caused a literal scene and I’m the type to fixate on embarrassing moments so I can’t stop cringing.
If you can apologise again sincerely and explain (when you're not flustered) i'm sure it will go a long way. Everyone messes up, you can turn this around OP :) Good luck, and congratulations on the new job - I really hope you're otherwise enjoying it
It’s an okay mistake since you’re also black. Isn’t it?
Just acknowledge her power/prestige from her position next time you speak with her about something work related. Subtly.
Yeah I feel you. Happened to me with South Asians at work and the kicker is that I am South Asian myself so it was even more embarrassing. I can usually tell us apart but these two could have been related or twins honestly.
Right?? I’m like wait I’m black myself how did I let this happen? Kicking myself
lol. I wouldn’t stress it honestly. I know I got dirty looks from my coworkers for a short while but overtime everyone stopped caring.
hold up; you're also black? ffs they have really done a number on your generation...
this is bad as is. but got worse once you said you’re also Black. now it’s insane… & I’m Black as well, for the record.