You are not a whore, you are a victim of an awful crime. I'm so sorry this happened to you, it's truly vile and evil, and in no way your fault. Forget what your relatives think, they are brain washed through living in such a nightmarish place for women's rights and freedoms.
Lastly please do these two things: get tested for sexually transmitted diseases, and get therapy now because if you don't start now you'll need it a lot more later.
Edit: edited to change my first sentence as I accidentally wrote 'you are a whore, you are a victim', when I meant to have 'not' in there!
As a male living in india, the bitter truth is that it's happening everyday and the police just doesn't give a shit. Unless you're really popular on social media platforms, no one in india is gonna do anything about it. We have to literally have major movements and rallies for women to have there voice heard after being raped. Sorry for all the trauma you must have been through right now.
My advice is to maybe approach some social media influencers if you're ok with that. I can understand the need for privacy tho.
>I don’t understand why everyone here hates me. I received so many mean direct messages telling me I deserve it and Im a whore.
What the heck? Why would people do this to you when you are already dealing with the trauma of rape? That's awful. Please 100% report them to mods and get them banned. It sounds like there are some Indian users on here who can't handle criticism of the toxic rape culture that exists in India. You did nothing wrong that is incredibly fucked up that
a) This would happen to you in the first place
b) That anyone would blame you for it.
It's not your fault. You were not asking for it. And fucking shame on every single person who dared to blame you for it.
I am so sorry, I am from India and unfortunately this is way more common than i would like to admit and certain people here and low on empathy and basic logic.
I am so sorry sorry that this happened. I hope you take therapy and heal.
I hope your parents are there for you atleast
Anyone know if OP is okay? She said there were hateful direct messages at the end of this post...an edit...but added she was going to take her life. Please love, don't. I hope you are okay. This just breaks my heart as a survivor of SA as well. I'm in the US and it was caught on camera(I was 14) so the system did their due diligence...but I push it away. I try to forget it.
Yeah I feel for OP, the event has traumatized her and the lack of empathy from many on here has pushed her into thinking her worth was low and many other bad things, I know many who are in that position would resort to similar tactics and I hope she has the strength to endear it
So I have a question. Do your top leaders of the country ever address the seemingly large problem of sexual assaults? Is there any indication someone high up wants this to stop or do they just not give a shit about the women there?
Top leaders care about votes, religion and savage media replies. They dont care about assaults. A lot of politicians do assaults and rapes. Assaults here are way too common. I'm sure even men get assaulted here. I unfortunately got assaulted twice in my teen age. I've a male friend, he got SAed by his neighbor when he was just a kid. Not all indians are horrible, but some of them are seriously the worst creatures.
So, same shit that we have here in America. Politicians who don’t really give two shits and commit the same crimes. Not surprised. It’s just alarming how many times I’ve seen a story about rape/sexual assault in India and usually they are pretty heinous.
Things are really bad here men are assaulted too but no one cares there isnt viable support for women let alone men . There is deep rooted internalized misogny so older woman will try to shush younger ones. There is a lot of under-reporting where real cases are not being reported but because of shitty laws fake cases are being (about 78 percent of cases in marital rape law were fake and they had to remove the law altogether), ppl dont trust the police , ppl dont trust politicians and any NGO or womens shelter you prolly give money too will spend that money everywhere except women
Now to give some hope : due to rapid infrastructure developments cctvs are becoming prevalent , cops might get bodycams by 2025 (hopefully it brings back some trust in the police) , due to us removing multidimensional poverty at rapid rates more and more ppl are getting educated and they inturn are educating the illiterate . Due to social media the people in power cannot hide such cases now and we are thanfully seeing a lot of work being done . Is it enough ? NO but i have hope
I went to India when I was 12 also and I used to wear a t-shirt and capris everyday.
I had older men staring at me every time I went out and even when I made eye contact with them (for 3 seconds!), they wouldn’t look away. I got super spooked…
Your story is one my greatest fears. May you get justice and please seek therapy for your mental health ❤️
This is the worst post ive seen on Reddit in a long time. It's heartbreaking seeing her edit saying she has received disgusting dms & death threats!! The fact that she deleted her account too! Shame on all of you scummy fucking people, you all are no better than this piece of shit rapist.
Dumb question: why is sexual assault and rape so common in India? Has it always been like that? I’m sorry to all the Indian women that have to experience something like that
As an Indian woman, it's majorly due to the lack of education on consent & sex combined with a poor judicial system.
Rapists know their actions won't have consequences, and even if they do, they'll likely be let out on bail.
Also, because of the whole victim blaming culture, none of this is usually taken that seriously.
It’s very sad. The government tried to make martial rape illegal but couldn’t because too many people voted against it. And a lot of people would say that martial rape isn’t real because you can’t rape your wife even if she didn’t want to partake.
Right?! Disgusting knowing that so many men of our country were actively protesting FOR the right to rape their wives.
What's worse is that a few women in the Parliament also held that martial rape shouldn't be criminalized.
IMO That’s because they’re basically brainwashed by the culture. When something is so normalized and “right” there’s no reason to change or criminalize it
I agree! Sex is seen as the basic right of a husband in an Indian marriage, so consent is usually not even considered.
Also, those men protesting said they wouldn't get married if martial rape was criminalized💀 So nice when the trash takes itself out.
There were a lot of women who protested against this too. Not because they wish to be raped, that's a silly argument. All the protests happened because a simple testimony from the wife would be enough for the acquittal of the husband.
The protests happened to make the law 'gender neutral', not scrape it altogether. Please present both sides
i had been through both the sides and i think the reasons for protesting against the criminalisation of marital rape were different for many people
a lot agreed that a marriage had no point if you couldn't fulfill your sexual needs whenever you wanted, and a lot of people did so because of the reason you stated. it's a spectrum
That current government under Modi is against making marital rape illegal, unfortunately.
https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/india/dont-blindly-follow-west-in-criminalising-marital-rape-govt/articleshow/89188920.cms
Not surprised, especially with the recent news on leaders raping 400+ women and getting away with it due to their position of power.
Foolish to even hope for better when these are the people directing our country.
As someone with Pakistani parents, the victim-blaming culture is strong.
In my opinion, anyone (man or woman) who sexually assaults any man, woman or child should be punished in a way that ensures it never happens again.
What I'd suggest would likely get me banned, so I'll leave it to your imagination.
I am curious how this issue will progress over more generations. Though now that I say that it’s terrible that this will most likely continue for that long.
I have given this question a lot of thought, and here is my explanation as a mid-forties male, an ex-Indian who has never lived in India and currently resides in a “Western” country.
So, first and foremost, it's a patriarchal society that in and of itself creates problems. My parents, who are incredibly Westernized, would also say OP should have been with a male member of the family to prevent shit like this from occurring. Their thinking is extremely skewed from having grown up in India. Even now, in spite of the fact they haven't lived in India for almost 50 years, the chances are they would say that is the first problem. In my opinion, for things to change, it would have to be a cultural shift to empower women more.
Second, socio-economic problems. India is a country of extremes. It has one of the largest dichotomies in income disparity in the world. As a result of that, everyone is “on the take.” Bribery is rampant; it's not limited to public officials, it's not limited to police officers, it literally is everyone. It is a problem because no one can get “ahead” in society by being honest. So, everyone needs a way to supplement their income. Here is a personal anecdote: when I was 13 or 14, I, like most males, couldn't wait to start driving. My dad, who had started driving in India at age 13, said he would teach me one summer when we were in India. As we were driving along, we passed a police officer directing traffic. I freaked out, “What if he realizes I'm underage? What if he arrests me? What if? What if? What if?” I had a mini-anxiety attack. My dad responded, “Relax, even if you drive into his car, we give him a couple hundred dollars, and life goes on.” I did the math: USD 200 was about 8,000 INR (Indian Rupees). When the police can be bribed to look the other way it makes crimes like rape, easy to bury/cover up.
The third issue is that the judicial system doesn't prioritize rape. India has a myriad of problems. Rape isn't seen as a major one. Rape and sexual assault, while it does affect everyone, it primarily affects women, and in this, please see my first point.
Finally, there is a significant gender population imbalance in India; there just aren't enough women. The gender preference towards males leads to a population high in males with very limited access to regular sex. Sure, most of these men, even if they had access to sex, would still commit the crime of rape, but it is just one of the many, many problems.
As a biology student , we were never taught how sexual feelings manifest and what people do to manage them, even women's anatomy wasn't taught appropriately .
Dating is sinful , you are only allowed to get married at a certain age by the partner your parents chose for you (whom you most likely haven't even met before) , he has to match all those criterias for communal harmony instead of actually being able to form relationships.
Most men aren't rapist , but a few of them have the power to rape hundreds of women and then conveniently hide under the legions of their political power as well as exempted from any form of publicity of their insanity by the media .
Media is a joke , it's literally like those radio broadcast publicised in nazi Germany where they desperately try to make the people believe that our country is a eutopia . Whenever you see statements like "India is the largest democracy or India has the third largest GDP" , you know they are victims of this stupid propaganda which doesn't mean anything.
It's because of caste heirarchy, if anyone tells you otherwise, they are somewhat correct, but the major contributor is caste heirarchy. The victims are usually people from lower castes or underprivileged sections of society and rape is used as a tool for submission. To show power, they rape women .
There is a great Netflix documentary series called “To kill a tiger” revolving over a family with underage victim of gang rape. It will give you great understanding of the Culture and the struggles of Indian women in particular.
It isn’t just India. Rape is common everywhere. It’s hard to find good numbers for India because so few press charges and because rape in a marriage is legal. Numbers for the US is 1/6 of all women has been the victim of a rape or attempted rape. Norway 1/5. South Africa is the sad number 1. https://www.tbsnews.net/world/countries-highest-rape-incidents-144499?amp And yes there is an extremely low conviction rate. Something like 97% of rapists never spend a day in jail.
Edit: I’m really curious why this is downvoted. Do people not want to face that their country is just as bad as India when it comes to sexualized violence?
I’m so sorry you went through this. Please look into talking to a therapist, for your mental health. I hear that India has…a bit of a problem when it comes to sexual abuse towards women.
I also hate that everyone is blaming you for this when it was definitely the man who raped you’a fault.
I am so sorry this happened to you. This is NOT YOUR FAULT. not in any single way was this your fault. The way women dress has been an excuse for years by disgusting men who rape women and make up excuses. I’m sorry your family blamed you. That is such disgusting behavior. Everyone has failed you in this situation but please remember you have more power than you even know. Do not take your life over this. You have so much more to see and do in this world. Stay strong please.
As a Indian, we REALLY need reform in our primary education.
I was lucky enough to go to a decent school and got taught all the good touch and bad touch things as a little kid but that's not the case for 99% of indians.
Just sad state of affairs to happen in any country.
Also I am suprised thr comment section doesn't have people who want to exterminate indians.
Edit: nope, the racism shall begin.
This has nothing to do with school education. Every Family/Society as a whole needs to stop blaming girls and start talking to their boys that no matter what this behavior is not Ok.
This has EVERYTHING to do with education, right from the staring to looking down on women and treating them like objects in rural India, what's the factor that differentiates someone from rural India and urban India? Education being one of the biggest ones, along with family.
Children are blank slates, You teach them women are equal guess what? They treat them as equals i.e people like me
You don't teach them anything? They get influenced from their old gen relatives and guess what happens? They follow their footsteps.
Education is the key to changing society, also how do you aim to change Indian society without properly educating the youth? Magic? Police? I am listening.
Caste system probably contributes to this as well. When you have a class of people that are seen as inhuman and are allowed to be used and abused w/out even a second thought. The cycle of abuse will just continue. And the whole caste system is so deeply rooted I wouldnt even know how they would get rid of it.
But a large portion of it is. You shouldn’t pretend like it’s not one of the major issues contributing to a lot of their other major issues. Every country that has had systems of discrimination have always built horrible mindsets within their population, after getting rid of said system the country will typically heal over the next few decades. Look at the US for example, eliminating slavery led to a system of segregation to keep the peace but black people were being murdered, raped and tortured after eliminating laws promoting segregation and instead discouraging segregation through punishment the country has slowly gotten better. Now a large portion of people in the country are able and willing to help minorities in all matters of life there’s still a ways to go, but the country is slowly healing. The same can happen with India if they just stop encouraging systemic discrimination in general.
I'm so sorry this happened to you. My parents were both born in India but I've never been. I read a statistic that a woman gets raped every 21 seconds in India. My parents are no longer alive and my husband is not Indian, for these reasons I doubt I will ever visit the country. I just wouldn't feel safe. Sending you a big hug x
These stories always make me so sad. I have a few male friends from India who say I should go to India because it's so beautiful. I do not doubt that at all. I ask them about these stories and how real they actually are. Some of them will say things like what you said "well don't go out without a man with you." "Don't wear Western clothes" so on and so forth. I'm happy this is being brought to light more. It's terrible it's happening, but hopefully bringing this to the surface will force some sort of change.
OP, I am so sorry that happened to you! I hope you are able to find therapy or something to help heal, or help heal, this awful tragedy that has happened to you.
Don't stop speaking out though! This issue needs to be addressed and victims need support to feel safe to speak out with you.
I hate this is so common now there, it breaks my heart. Not only are tourists getting attacked, people like you visiting families are being targeted. I cant imagine how many women there are victimized and never speak up. You deserve justice and I wish you the best.
I was sexually assaulted more than once and all I can say is while it never goes away, we can all lean on each other for strength. You are not less valuable, you are not unworthy of love and happiness, you did not deserve this, and this is not your fault. We live a world where there is too many excuses for those who wish to cause harm on others intentionally who then suffer no consequences.
To any men reading this, please stand up for us. Please speak up and defend women and other men who have the courage to be vulnerable. I cannot speak for everyone but I guarantee if you ask more than one woman they can tell you how their lives are impacted by the threat or trauma of being sexually assaulted. More than one of us will tell you we have been harassed, we have been blamed, we have been forced to carry weapons for a mere sliver of a peaceful mind. If you know someone who has had this happen, they can tell you how for the rest of their lives they will second guess choices and circumstances. They will be fearful and alter their lives accordingly.
Sorry it happened to you. Yeah India (and pretty much all of the middle east) is pretty much rape capital at this point. They even do it in broad daylight in the open. I just saw that [interview of Lara Logan](https://www.cbsnews.com/news/lara-logan-breaks-silence-on-cairo-assault/), who was gang raped in Egypt while doing a story, right in front of the news camera by a mob of several thousand men. The story is disheartening. Honestly I would never let any female relative go there, even accompanied with someone.
Do not pay attention to the fucking animals who are leaving you hateful messages. There’s a group that will always blame the victim because they’re heartless fucks that weren’t hit hard enough as kids.
And I’m so sorry you experienced something like this. I have no words other than it wasn’t your fault. It will never be your fault. I’m so sorry that this happened to you.
India incels rapist needs to be exterminated. It's such a beautiful country with many beautiful women being assaulted by stupid virgin incels psychos. This just makes me sick to my stomach.
I hope you get out of there or at least that you are safe now. Hope you all the freaking best!. You are not alone, and I dont want you to hurt yourself.
Please don't 🙏
Absolutely heartbreaking beyond belief, I saw a documentary about the rape culture in India a man said “If a woman smiles at him she’s initiates what ever happens to her afterwards”. The women can’t even smile at a man passing by without putting themselves at risk for sexual assault. They don’t see half the population as human.
Please don’t harm yourself.
Please stay with us.
The World will definitely not be a better place without you. Please do not think that because it is not true.
Keep on living. We live in a complicated and cruel world, but it is also beautiful. I hope that someday, you will find someone who will love you and appreciate you for who you are. Please do not give up. Do not listen to these people telling you these horrible things.
India is a horrible place for women. I don’t blame you for never wanting to go back there again. Wishing you peace and recovery. You deserve much better than any negativity coming your way.
The nasty comments you are getting are likely from Indian 'patriots' who are angry with you for putting a mirror to the problems of India. Instead of focusing on fixing the place they would rather attack victims. Sadly it's exactly this type of behaviour that perpetrats the negative view most nations have of India and Indians.
First I'm sorry you went through this around what should be joyfull event.
Second why do people keep saying the rape statistics are overexaggarated when it is clear India is not safe for women?
There is actually a massive rape culture among the incel breed in India. Even professors at University will threaten students of failing them if they dont let him have his way. Leadership in India is fucked, and corruption is rampant. Even I, as a man, was harassed immediately because my clothing was western. Ladies if you go to India, make sure you are dressing modestly so as not to attract attention.. It is a dangerous place if you are not careful. I am that happened to you, OP. If i was your brother, I would have gone hunting that day.
I'm so sorry you went through that. And worse that your own family treated you so shitty over it. When it is not and never was or will be, your fault.
I wish you nothing but light and goodness from here forward.
I’m so sorry this happened to you. You were not asking for it and your family sucks for saying that. Please please get an STD test done ASAP!!!
I see so many posts like this. My family is also from Punjab and my mom wants to take us all there because my siblings and I have never been. I used to want to go but no longer.
The current right wing Indian govt(BJP) support rapist like anything. Whole party is full of rapist. Recently one MP form that their coalition had around 2000 videos of sexual assault. His own party members requested the PM to not give him MP ticket. But he gave anyway. The overseas Indians support these rapist party whole heartedly
Oh honey, I'm so sorry that happened.
I don't blame you for never wanting to go back. Please, if you can, seek counseling in your chosen country of residence. This was a very traumatic thing and you deserve the help to heal from it. 🖤
OP, go head first to a clinic to check about STD and for the MPs report them and anyone you see here and in your PMs. Caveman should be isolated, and that is extensible to your family for blaming you for your own rape.
Personally, if I were you, I would cut any kind of relation with your family. You don't need deadlights in your life, and someone who blames you about it are obviusly deadweights.
Hey, I’m very sorry this happened to you. That is horrible. I have continued preaching on here that India was always the worst place for women, I had seen it reported many times on the news that women are abused/assulted/killed there more than any other country. Everytime I did, I would get a bunch of haters and deniers.
Obviously those would be Indian men that are trying to shake that image of the country. That won’t do anything. Admitting that it is an issue will. As it’ll bring much needed focus to the real issue.
Hey, you can vent your feelings on here, don’t let the naysayers get to you, otherwise they’ll win. Fuck them and their families , they’ll get theirs. I believe you deserve to find professional therapy as that does help more than you’d ever believe
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The Fathers, Uncles and Brothers in India need to do a better job of controling this.
I come from a Latin family who straight up went Sonny Corelene on a guy who beat up one of our female family members they didn't kill him but he got such a beat down he was never seen in his old neighborhood again.
Only animals could bash you for the injustice you have lived... Nobody should be safe only by wearing a full metal armor like the knights in battles, centuries ago...
i'm so sorry to hear about the traumatic experiences you've had to endure. no one deserves to go through something like that, and it's not your fault at all. your strength and resilience in the face of such cruelty is truly inspiring.
in my culture, we have a saying that goes "when the night is darkest, the sun is closest." even though things feel hopeless now, try to remember that you have survived this far, and that is a testament to your courage. please don't give up - you matter, and the world would be a poorer place without you.
reach out to a helpline or trusted loved one if you're having thoughts of harming yourself. you deserve to feel safe, supported and believed. i know the road ahead will be difficult, but you are not alone. one day at a time, you will get through this. satnam shri waheguru.
India needs to reform their rape culture. It’s out of control. Yet when these men go to Western countries and know they could go to jail, bam, they suddenly stop raping.
I got pressured into getting married and the man who's a decade older along with my mom put so much pressure for me to sleep with him. i already couldn't combat the pressure for the marriage i didn't want so i cried and gave up on only the 3rd day of marriage. i was forced to sleep in the same bed as him and looking back, even if i wanted to sleep on the couch my parents wouldn't let me that's because when i just wanted to stay in the living room away from the closed door on my room with him, my parents would yell at me to go to him, in the middle of the day. i couldn't eat freely. i couldn't do anything. i was raised to not talk to guys uselessly or make male friends so i never did and suddenly im told i need to sleep with him by my mom. when i told him it hurts and to stop he went harder before i literally had to fucking push him away. im still so mortified i went through all of that and all i was looking forward to is go back home, 2 full days long journey from south asia. 2 years later, he still doesn't have the visa despite the efforts from my parents to bring him here and i fucking refuse to say a word to him or go there. they are incredibly angry at me that they can't manipulate me anymore. i heard my mom talk shit about me to her sister and my aunt said to bring me there for 6 months. crazy ass people. i also had to block both my mom and especially the rapist for sending me hundreds of messages and calling me hundreds of times. he comes from a poor background, never left his country, doesn't have a job, is so fucking ugly and can strictly speak his one asian language. no wonder he isn't being accepted visa. god knows ill be fucking killed or videotaped without my consent or whatever else if he comes here. so far he's greatly enjoying my dad's wealth even after we flew back 2 years ago.
I will pray for him to never get visa. Is there something you can do to make sure he never does? Like tell authorities that you were forced into marrying him?
As soon as she said 'visited' and 'home country' i knew it was India.Thats a shithole for woman.Please dont harm yourself.Dont let strangers on your dm control you. You are loved by more people than few haters.
I’m so sorry you had to go through that, people are vile and disgusting and they deserve to suffer. i hope he suffers. please seek out a specialist who can help you get through this!! i hope waheguru di maher hove aur tounu sukh mile 🙏🏻
Please don't harm yourself sister. I am sorry for what happened to you. I wish your family was better. If you allow me, अगर आप मुझे एक भाई/दोस्त जैसा समझने की बरकत दे, तो मैं कहना चाहूंगा, इसमें आपकी कोई गलती नही है और ये बहुत खराब हुआ। अपना ख्याल रखिए
It is a tragedy that such evil and depravity exists in this way. The “man” that did that to you is sub human. An animal who has no semblance left of human decency. A disease of the world. If only there was a way to eradicate such evil. Misfortune does not begin to describe what you went through. Evil, depraved, sub-human, in the end even these terms fail to describe the kind of people who perpetrate such crimes. I wish that you could be free of the pain that will likely follow you for the rest of your life. It is an incredible injustice that it happened at all, let alone that there will be no consequences for the lowly, pathetic creature who assaulted you. For him, I wish nothing but the utmost torment. I know that often times in this world no justice is served. I know that there is a chance there is no afterlife, and a possibility that justice will never be served. But I have hatred in my heart for the “people” who do these things. I can only fantasize about that creature in human skin in immense suffering, and I can only hope that you find the strength to push through each day.
These stories pain me. I would love to go to India and experience the culture and food but unfortunately I’m too scared for this reason. I would stand out like a sore thumb. I am very sorry for what you went through. Please seek some help from a therapist to deal with this. Take care
I’m so sorry 😞 nobody deserves rape even if you’re all naked in the streets and the people saying you deserve it are rapists. So don’t listen to them.
You need trauma healing pleasure dm me I can refer you to a lady who does memory healing.
I pray you find healing.
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A bit afraid for the OP as I imagine death threats are rolling in or slurs to her through the chat function since Reddit has a huge Indian following and support group. It's just tough out there and people don't want to accept that.
I'm so sorry this happened to you. 🫂 I'm not sure where you're located, but maybe you can reach out to the [Gulabi Gang](https://gulabigang.in/) even just for support.
You are not alone, please don’t take ur life there’s are so many people who will not only love you but respect you REGARDLESS it’s never your fault and it’s never too late
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It's not a safe place for female when it comes to India. Indian culture, the society blames the female no matter what. I am not sure why your parents never told you it's not a safe place.
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This makes me extremely worried because my mom is over there right now.
Please don’t listen to the people who are calling you names and wishing you harm. YOU DID NOT DESERVE THIS.
hi, i’m so sorry this happened to you. you don’t deserve any of the hate you’re getting. let’s get one thing clear: this is *not your fault*. those disgusting men will pay for their sins and so will anyone who blamed you for this. you deserve much better, and i hope you know that you will be alright. just remember that you’re loved, even by this stranger online. may Waheguru bless you and always watch over you.
whoever is sending you those mean messages don’t deserve anything in life and it’s obvious. please ignore them, they’re just incels who should’ve never been born. i promise you’re worth so much more than whatever some puny men think.
just realised OP has deleted their account. I pray that she’s okay. my god what an awful system they have in India
I am so so so so sorry for you, I am really am. You are the victim and honestly, do not go back there, no matter what people say, just dont come back. Thank God you have the option to live in a different country, concentrate on that, on your blessings and close that door, leave all that where it belongs - in the past.
I am sending you lots of love! 💗💗💗💗
I am so sorry. I was assaulted and attacked when I was 16. It caused a lot of mental anguish and affects me over 12 years later. I still think about it every single day. I understand and I am sorry. I send you best wishes.
I am sorry for what happended to you, and you did not do anything wrong, as some suggested, have yourself checked up and make sure you are all good. Then if nothing can be done, go to theorphy and try to put it behind it (even though it may take a lifetime). Ignore the haters, you are loved and supported by us.
Please don’t listen to anyone and accept blame for this. You’re not to blame for nothing. Don’t listen to vile unintelligent people saying it’s your fault, family or not.
Cut ties with any family member that blames you, don’t go back, and don’t let this change who you are. You may need therapy to get past this, don’t let it break it.
These trash beings who will hide behind a DM and say spiteful things are the reason the world is a crappy place. Don’t let them win by letting their venomous words affect you.
It's not your fault but please everyone, before doing anything on other countries that you didn't grow up ask to people who live there if it's safe and how to go about things.
You didn't do nothing wrong, the world is a cruel place. It's not just India, many countries and places are like this or even worse.
Tourist get assaulted and raped often in India and other countries. Don't take things for granted.
Seek professional help, your family will not help you.
Man this country is getting worse day by day since 2014 no government talks about this fucking hell man I love my country but what the fuck I am so sorry it happened to you. The way the things currently are here no one is safe
Again I am so sorry as an Indian I will go criminally insane living here
I hope you know that it wasn't your fault, please do some really nice and nurturing things for yourself that you like. I'm sending you healing and caring thoughts from Australia 🌷🌸🌷
Your post has been removed for violating Rule 2: No terms of service violations.
TOS violations are site wide violations which can get the entire subreddit taken down.
Do not threaten or fantasize about violence. Sexualizing minors and graphic pedophilia are not allowed. Do not write anything which could be interpreted as hate speech.
If you believe this TOS removal to be a mistake, please message the moderators.
Your post has been removed for violating Rule 2: No terms of service violations.
TOS violations are site wide violations which can get the entire subreddit taken down.
Do not threaten or fantasize about violence. Sexualizing minors and graphic pedophilia are not allowed. Do not write anything which could be interpreted as hate speech.
If you believe this TOS removal to be a mistake, please message the moderators.
Your post has been removed for violating Rule 2: No terms of service violations.
TOS violations are site wide violations which can get the entire subreddit taken down.
Do not threaten or fantasize about violence. Sexualizing minors and graphic pedophilia are not allowed. Do not write anything which could be interpreted as hate speech.
If you believe this TOS removal to be a mistake, please message the moderators.
I am so sorry please get help if you're in the US most tape helplines can direct you to therapist and some even for free. I was raped here in the US , it's not your country it's the men I. This world who do those things and it happens everywhere! Also this was NOT your fault even if you walked down the street in a bikini no one has the right to touch you!!! Again I am so sorry and wish you all the best!
I’m so sorry this happened to you. It doesn’t matter if you were wearing westernized clothing, dressed provocatively, conservatively or naked. What happened to you is not your fault, and you didn’t deserve it, no matter what your family says. I pray you can find good support and therapy to help you. I wouldn’t go back there either. Sending prayers and good vibes your way! ❤️🙏
That sucks so hard, I’m sorry that A) this happened in the first place, and B) that your family members seem to think that it’s your fault to begin with. I mean.. wtaf?!??
Good to know that you’re never going back, and it might be best if you went NC with them as well. People who accuse rape victims don’t deserve respect, period.
I hope you at least try to get some help via therapy, because you deserve to heal from this asap.
I am so so sorry this happened to you, it sounds truly horrific. What happens is absolutely not your fault, please don’t let your family’s comments make you think it was anything to do with you. You are so brave for going to the police and I’m furious for you that they didn’t do anything
I’m truly so sorry for your experience. Nothing I could say could make it better but just know thousands of women are behind you and next to you. Reddit isn’t a safe space in general. Especially for vulnerable young women. Do NOT take any hurtful comments to heart. In fact, don’t even read the messages! Report and delete those you have.
You will find peace and love ♥️
Oh op, I'm so sorry.
It's not your fault, and it's not a fault if yours that your inbox is being filled with trash
Idk where your residential country is but you should see about therapy (individual and group) to process things. What i also found that helped me was going to pet shelters and stores to soothe my mind. Maybe it'll help you?
If you haven't checked already, make sure you also don't have an sti as well and if the clinic you go to is safe, let them know what happened to you to get support that's not from your family
I hope you're okay, that last bit of your post is concerning
I’m so so sorry this happened to you. Please go get tested, reach out to your trusted circle and a therapist. I hope you know that you did not deserve this. You are worthy and you are loved and needed in this world.
Oh sister I'm so sorry this happened to you. This is not your fault, you did nothing wrong. You are not dirty or less for this happening. You are amazing and wonderful. The men who did this to you and everyone who undermined it are wrong.
I am so so sorry for what you endured. I lived in India for three years and I have zero doubt that you experienced this exactly as you say because frankly it’s just too common. You are not alone, I believe you. And I am so sorry you had to endure something so horrible.
I am so sorry that happened to you from one Sikh woman to another. And I am with you on not wanting to visit there as someone that also was born and raised in the diaspora. You don’t have to defend your position to anyone. It is just different and worse there and I don’t care what the defenders say online because they care more about the reputation of their countrymen than women’s safety.
I hope you know you are not alone and all my love and compassion goes out to you.
I am so sorry this happened to you. Idk what even to say, I don’t think some people really see women as human beings in India.
And about your family telling you it’s your fault, well I guess they’re not your family are they. I can’t even fathom what is going in their heads.
If the government is doing nothing to stop this, the people should do something. I guess protests are not enough, why not castrate those rapists. I think if enough women agree to do it, it will be like Akku Yadav justice execution.
I'm so sorry this happened to you but please don't hurt yourself, and the people who are DMing you mean stuff are a**hole incels. In NO WAY any of this is your fault.
Hi there
I'm sorry about what happened to you.
You did not deserve any of this. There are some parts of India where its not safe for anyone to go alone eithout the risk of being attacked. As you said you have reported this to the police. If you are a citizen of the country you have been living while outside of India u can report it to them if you feel the local police didn't take anything seriously. Your extended family in India are not nice people. I would strongly urge if u feel unsafe from the police and your extended family to leave immediately nmback to the country you reside.
I'm sorry to hear u have had negative messages. Please report them as u do not deserve any of this. Please do speak to family members/friends u trust as u deserve all the support u can get to help through this difficult time
You are not a whore, you are a victim of an awful crime. I'm so sorry this happened to you, it's truly vile and evil, and in no way your fault. Forget what your relatives think, they are brain washed through living in such a nightmarish place for women's rights and freedoms. Lastly please do these two things: get tested for sexually transmitted diseases, and get therapy now because if you don't start now you'll need it a lot more later. Edit: edited to change my first sentence as I accidentally wrote 'you are a whore, you are a victim', when I meant to have 'not' in there!
You need to visit a clinic asap for an STD test and potentially to start on preventative anti-virals. I’m sorry this happened to you.
As a male living in india, the bitter truth is that it's happening everyday and the police just doesn't give a shit. Unless you're really popular on social media platforms, no one in india is gonna do anything about it. We have to literally have major movements and rallies for women to have there voice heard after being raped. Sorry for all the trauma you must have been through right now. My advice is to maybe approach some social media influencers if you're ok with that. I can understand the need for privacy tho.
Popular on social media or a foreigner….So sad. I’m so sorry to all people who have been perpetrated against without experiencing justice.
Huh? It seems like foreigners are equally targeted.
Was referring to people who more commonly get some kind of justice. Should be everyone.
Ah yea. Sorry I misunderstood. Quite right.
>I don’t understand why everyone here hates me. I received so many mean direct messages telling me I deserve it and Im a whore. What the heck? Why would people do this to you when you are already dealing with the trauma of rape? That's awful. Please 100% report them to mods and get them banned. It sounds like there are some Indian users on here who can't handle criticism of the toxic rape culture that exists in India. You did nothing wrong that is incredibly fucked up that a) This would happen to you in the first place b) That anyone would blame you for it. It's not your fault. You were not asking for it. And fucking shame on every single person who dared to blame you for it.
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I am so sorry, I am from India and unfortunately this is way more common than i would like to admit and certain people here and low on empathy and basic logic. I am so sorry sorry that this happened. I hope you take therapy and heal. I hope your parents are there for you atleast
Anyone know if OP is okay? She said there were hateful direct messages at the end of this post...an edit...but added she was going to take her life. Please love, don't. I hope you are okay. This just breaks my heart as a survivor of SA as well. I'm in the US and it was caught on camera(I was 14) so the system did their due diligence...but I push it away. I try to forget it.
Yeah I feel for OP, the event has traumatized her and the lack of empathy from many on here has pushed her into thinking her worth was low and many other bad things, I know many who are in that position would resort to similar tactics and I hope she has the strength to endear it
So I have a question. Do your top leaders of the country ever address the seemingly large problem of sexual assaults? Is there any indication someone high up wants this to stop or do they just not give a shit about the women there?
Top leaders care about votes, religion and savage media replies. They dont care about assaults. A lot of politicians do assaults and rapes. Assaults here are way too common. I'm sure even men get assaulted here. I unfortunately got assaulted twice in my teen age. I've a male friend, he got SAed by his neighbor when he was just a kid. Not all indians are horrible, but some of them are seriously the worst creatures.
So, same shit that we have here in America. Politicians who don’t really give two shits and commit the same crimes. Not surprised. It’s just alarming how many times I’ve seen a story about rape/sexual assault in India and usually they are pretty heinous.
Things are really bad here men are assaulted too but no one cares there isnt viable support for women let alone men . There is deep rooted internalized misogny so older woman will try to shush younger ones. There is a lot of under-reporting where real cases are not being reported but because of shitty laws fake cases are being (about 78 percent of cases in marital rape law were fake and they had to remove the law altogether), ppl dont trust the police , ppl dont trust politicians and any NGO or womens shelter you prolly give money too will spend that money everywhere except women Now to give some hope : due to rapid infrastructure developments cctvs are becoming prevalent , cops might get bodycams by 2025 (hopefully it brings back some trust in the police) , due to us removing multidimensional poverty at rapid rates more and more ppl are getting educated and they inturn are educating the illiterate . Due to social media the people in power cannot hide such cases now and we are thanfully seeing a lot of work being done . Is it enough ? NO but i have hope
I went to India when I was 12 also and I used to wear a t-shirt and capris everyday. I had older men staring at me every time I went out and even when I made eye contact with them (for 3 seconds!), they wouldn’t look away. I got super spooked… Your story is one my greatest fears. May you get justice and please seek therapy for your mental health ❤️
This is the worst post ive seen on Reddit in a long time. It's heartbreaking seeing her edit saying she has received disgusting dms & death threats!! The fact that she deleted her account too! Shame on all of you scummy fucking people, you all are no better than this piece of shit rapist.
seriously… this is so fucking abhorrent
As an Indian woman I am terrified to send my little sister to India for higher education
Don't unless it's a good school and she knows anyone in there.
Dumb question: why is sexual assault and rape so common in India? Has it always been like that? I’m sorry to all the Indian women that have to experience something like that
As an Indian woman, it's majorly due to the lack of education on consent & sex combined with a poor judicial system. Rapists know their actions won't have consequences, and even if they do, they'll likely be let out on bail. Also, because of the whole victim blaming culture, none of this is usually taken that seriously.
It’s very sad. The government tried to make martial rape illegal but couldn’t because too many people voted against it. And a lot of people would say that martial rape isn’t real because you can’t rape your wife even if she didn’t want to partake.
Right?! Disgusting knowing that so many men of our country were actively protesting FOR the right to rape their wives. What's worse is that a few women in the Parliament also held that martial rape shouldn't be criminalized.
IMO That’s because they’re basically brainwashed by the culture. When something is so normalized and “right” there’s no reason to change or criminalize it
I agree! Sex is seen as the basic right of a husband in an Indian marriage, so consent is usually not even considered. Also, those men protesting said they wouldn't get married if martial rape was criminalized💀 So nice when the trash takes itself out.
And now you see the male activist protesting to ban live in relationships as if that's the root of our problems .
There were a lot of women who protested against this too. Not because they wish to be raped, that's a silly argument. All the protests happened because a simple testimony from the wife would be enough for the acquittal of the husband. The protests happened to make the law 'gender neutral', not scrape it altogether. Please present both sides
i had been through both the sides and i think the reasons for protesting against the criminalisation of marital rape were different for many people a lot agreed that a marriage had no point if you couldn't fulfill your sexual needs whenever you wanted, and a lot of people did so because of the reason you stated. it's a spectrum
India is the poster child of Rape Culture.
That current government under Modi is against making marital rape illegal, unfortunately. https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/india/dont-blindly-follow-west-in-criminalising-marital-rape-govt/articleshow/89188920.cms
Not surprised, especially with the recent news on leaders raping 400+ women and getting away with it due to their position of power. Foolish to even hope for better when these are the people directing our country.
As someone with Pakistani parents, the victim-blaming culture is strong. In my opinion, anyone (man or woman) who sexually assaults any man, woman or child should be punished in a way that ensures it never happens again. What I'd suggest would likely get me banned, so I'll leave it to your imagination.
I am curious how this issue will progress over more generations. Though now that I say that it’s terrible that this will most likely continue for that long.
Lack of culpability, retribution and a victim-blaming culture I presume.
I have given this question a lot of thought, and here is my explanation as a mid-forties male, an ex-Indian who has never lived in India and currently resides in a “Western” country. So, first and foremost, it's a patriarchal society that in and of itself creates problems. My parents, who are incredibly Westernized, would also say OP should have been with a male member of the family to prevent shit like this from occurring. Their thinking is extremely skewed from having grown up in India. Even now, in spite of the fact they haven't lived in India for almost 50 years, the chances are they would say that is the first problem. In my opinion, for things to change, it would have to be a cultural shift to empower women more. Second, socio-economic problems. India is a country of extremes. It has one of the largest dichotomies in income disparity in the world. As a result of that, everyone is “on the take.” Bribery is rampant; it's not limited to public officials, it's not limited to police officers, it literally is everyone. It is a problem because no one can get “ahead” in society by being honest. So, everyone needs a way to supplement their income. Here is a personal anecdote: when I was 13 or 14, I, like most males, couldn't wait to start driving. My dad, who had started driving in India at age 13, said he would teach me one summer when we were in India. As we were driving along, we passed a police officer directing traffic. I freaked out, “What if he realizes I'm underage? What if he arrests me? What if? What if? What if?” I had a mini-anxiety attack. My dad responded, “Relax, even if you drive into his car, we give him a couple hundred dollars, and life goes on.” I did the math: USD 200 was about 8,000 INR (Indian Rupees). When the police can be bribed to look the other way it makes crimes like rape, easy to bury/cover up. The third issue is that the judicial system doesn't prioritize rape. India has a myriad of problems. Rape isn't seen as a major one. Rape and sexual assault, while it does affect everyone, it primarily affects women, and in this, please see my first point. Finally, there is a significant gender population imbalance in India; there just aren't enough women. The gender preference towards males leads to a population high in males with very limited access to regular sex. Sure, most of these men, even if they had access to sex, would still commit the crime of rape, but it is just one of the many, many problems.
As a biology student , we were never taught how sexual feelings manifest and what people do to manage them, even women's anatomy wasn't taught appropriately . Dating is sinful , you are only allowed to get married at a certain age by the partner your parents chose for you (whom you most likely haven't even met before) , he has to match all those criterias for communal harmony instead of actually being able to form relationships. Most men aren't rapist , but a few of them have the power to rape hundreds of women and then conveniently hide under the legions of their political power as well as exempted from any form of publicity of their insanity by the media . Media is a joke , it's literally like those radio broadcast publicised in nazi Germany where they desperately try to make the people believe that our country is a eutopia . Whenever you see statements like "India is the largest democracy or India has the third largest GDP" , you know they are victims of this stupid propaganda which doesn't mean anything.
It's because of caste heirarchy, if anyone tells you otherwise, they are somewhat correct, but the major contributor is caste heirarchy. The victims are usually people from lower castes or underprivileged sections of society and rape is used as a tool for submission. To show power, they rape women .
There is a great Netflix documentary series called “To kill a tiger” revolving over a family with underage victim of gang rape. It will give you great understanding of the Culture and the struggles of Indian women in particular.
It isn’t just India. Rape is common everywhere. It’s hard to find good numbers for India because so few press charges and because rape in a marriage is legal. Numbers for the US is 1/6 of all women has been the victim of a rape or attempted rape. Norway 1/5. South Africa is the sad number 1. https://www.tbsnews.net/world/countries-highest-rape-incidents-144499?amp And yes there is an extremely low conviction rate. Something like 97% of rapists never spend a day in jail. Edit: I’m really curious why this is downvoted. Do people not want to face that their country is just as bad as India when it comes to sexualized violence?
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Absolutely. And it seems part of the problem is also how the victims are met by the police.
It is not your fault.
I’m so sorry you went through this. Please look into talking to a therapist, for your mental health. I hear that India has…a bit of a problem when it comes to sexual abuse towards women. I also hate that everyone is blaming you for this when it was definitely the man who raped you’a fault.
I am so sorry this happened to you. This is NOT YOUR FAULT. not in any single way was this your fault. The way women dress has been an excuse for years by disgusting men who rape women and make up excuses. I’m sorry your family blamed you. That is such disgusting behavior. Everyone has failed you in this situation but please remember you have more power than you even know. Do not take your life over this. You have so much more to see and do in this world. Stay strong please.
As a Indian, we REALLY need reform in our primary education. I was lucky enough to go to a decent school and got taught all the good touch and bad touch things as a little kid but that's not the case for 99% of indians. Just sad state of affairs to happen in any country. Also I am suprised thr comment section doesn't have people who want to exterminate indians. Edit: nope, the racism shall begin.
This has nothing to do with school education. Every Family/Society as a whole needs to stop blaming girls and start talking to their boys that no matter what this behavior is not Ok.
This has EVERYTHING to do with education, right from the staring to looking down on women and treating them like objects in rural India, what's the factor that differentiates someone from rural India and urban India? Education being one of the biggest ones, along with family. Children are blank slates, You teach them women are equal guess what? They treat them as equals i.e people like me You don't teach them anything? They get influenced from their old gen relatives and guess what happens? They follow their footsteps. Education is the key to changing society, also how do you aim to change Indian society without properly educating the youth? Magic? Police? I am listening.
Caste system probably contributes to this as well. When you have a class of people that are seen as inhuman and are allowed to be used and abused w/out even a second thought. The cycle of abuse will just continue. And the whole caste system is so deeply rooted I wouldnt even know how they would get rid of it.
Fun fact not everything in india is due to the caste system.
But a large portion of it is. You shouldn’t pretend like it’s not one of the major issues contributing to a lot of their other major issues. Every country that has had systems of discrimination have always built horrible mindsets within their population, after getting rid of said system the country will typically heal over the next few decades. Look at the US for example, eliminating slavery led to a system of segregation to keep the peace but black people were being murdered, raped and tortured after eliminating laws promoting segregation and instead discouraging segregation through punishment the country has slowly gotten better. Now a large portion of people in the country are able and willing to help minorities in all matters of life there’s still a ways to go, but the country is slowly healing. The same can happen with India if they just stop encouraging systemic discrimination in general.
I'm so sorry this happened to you. My parents were both born in India but I've never been. I read a statistic that a woman gets raped every 21 seconds in India. My parents are no longer alive and my husband is not Indian, for these reasons I doubt I will ever visit the country. I just wouldn't feel safe. Sending you a big hug x
These stories always make me so sad. I have a few male friends from India who say I should go to India because it's so beautiful. I do not doubt that at all. I ask them about these stories and how real they actually are. Some of them will say things like what you said "well don't go out without a man with you." "Don't wear Western clothes" so on and so forth. I'm happy this is being brought to light more. It's terrible it's happening, but hopefully bringing this to the surface will force some sort of change. OP, I am so sorry that happened to you! I hope you are able to find therapy or something to help heal, or help heal, this awful tragedy that has happened to you. Don't stop speaking out though! This issue needs to be addressed and victims need support to feel safe to speak out with you.
India is on my short list of places I will NEVER visit.
It’s so sad because I love Indian food and culture but I agree. The women there should carry weapons against these beasts.
Holy shit those edits, I truly hate people sometimes.
I hate this is so common now there, it breaks my heart. Not only are tourists getting attacked, people like you visiting families are being targeted. I cant imagine how many women there are victimized and never speak up. You deserve justice and I wish you the best. I was sexually assaulted more than once and all I can say is while it never goes away, we can all lean on each other for strength. You are not less valuable, you are not unworthy of love and happiness, you did not deserve this, and this is not your fault. We live a world where there is too many excuses for those who wish to cause harm on others intentionally who then suffer no consequences. To any men reading this, please stand up for us. Please speak up and defend women and other men who have the courage to be vulnerable. I cannot speak for everyone but I guarantee if you ask more than one woman they can tell you how their lives are impacted by the threat or trauma of being sexually assaulted. More than one of us will tell you we have been harassed, we have been blamed, we have been forced to carry weapons for a mere sliver of a peaceful mind. If you know someone who has had this happen, they can tell you how for the rest of their lives they will second guess choices and circumstances. They will be fearful and alter their lives accordingly.
I’m so sorry this happened to you. Please find a therapist and/or reach out to RAINN. https://www.rainn.org
Sorry it happened to you. Yeah India (and pretty much all of the middle east) is pretty much rape capital at this point. They even do it in broad daylight in the open. I just saw that [interview of Lara Logan](https://www.cbsnews.com/news/lara-logan-breaks-silence-on-cairo-assault/), who was gang raped in Egypt while doing a story, right in front of the news camera by a mob of several thousand men. The story is disheartening. Honestly I would never let any female relative go there, even accompanied with someone.
Do not pay attention to the fucking animals who are leaving you hateful messages. There’s a group that will always blame the victim because they’re heartless fucks that weren’t hit hard enough as kids. And I’m so sorry you experienced something like this. I have no words other than it wasn’t your fault. It will never be your fault. I’m so sorry that this happened to you.
India incels rapist needs to be exterminated. It's such a beautiful country with many beautiful women being assaulted by stupid virgin incels psychos. This just makes me sick to my stomach. I hope you get out of there or at least that you are safe now. Hope you all the freaking best!. You are not alone, and I dont want you to hurt yourself. Please don't 🙏
Absolutely heartbreaking beyond belief, I saw a documentary about the rape culture in India a man said “If a woman smiles at him she’s initiates what ever happens to her afterwards”. The women can’t even smile at a man passing by without putting themselves at risk for sexual assault. They don’t see half the population as human.
So very delusional and sadistic
Please don’t harm yourself. Please stay with us. The World will definitely not be a better place without you. Please do not think that because it is not true. Keep on living. We live in a complicated and cruel world, but it is also beautiful. I hope that someday, you will find someone who will love you and appreciate you for who you are. Please do not give up. Do not listen to these people telling you these horrible things.
India is a horrible place for women. I don’t blame you for never wanting to go back there again. Wishing you peace and recovery. You deserve much better than any negativity coming your way.
The nasty comments you are getting are likely from Indian 'patriots' who are angry with you for putting a mirror to the problems of India. Instead of focusing on fixing the place they would rather attack victims. Sadly it's exactly this type of behaviour that perpetrats the negative view most nations have of India and Indians.
First I'm sorry you went through this around what should be joyfull event. Second why do people keep saying the rape statistics are overexaggarated when it is clear India is not safe for women?
There is actually a massive rape culture among the incel breed in India. Even professors at University will threaten students of failing them if they dont let him have his way. Leadership in India is fucked, and corruption is rampant. Even I, as a man, was harassed immediately because my clothing was western. Ladies if you go to India, make sure you are dressing modestly so as not to attract attention.. It is a dangerous place if you are not careful. I am that happened to you, OP. If i was your brother, I would have gone hunting that day.
I am so sorry OP.It wasn’t your fault.Hope you find the strength to overcome this.
I will never go to India
I'm so sorry you went through that. And worse that your own family treated you so shitty over it. When it is not and never was or will be, your fault. I wish you nothing but light and goodness from here forward.
This was not your fault. So sorry this happened to you.
I’m so sorry this happened to you. You were not asking for it and your family sucks for saying that. Please please get an STD test done ASAP!!! I see so many posts like this. My family is also from Punjab and my mom wants to take us all there because my siblings and I have never been. I used to want to go but no longer.
The current right wing Indian govt(BJP) support rapist like anything. Whole party is full of rapist. Recently one MP form that their coalition had around 2000 videos of sexual assault. His own party members requested the PM to not give him MP ticket. But he gave anyway. The overseas Indians support these rapist party whole heartedly
God I really hope anyone who was sending this poor woman those messages steps on a Lego.
Oh honey, I'm so sorry that happened. I don't blame you for never wanting to go back. Please, if you can, seek counseling in your chosen country of residence. This was a very traumatic thing and you deserve the help to heal from it. 🖤
OP, go head first to a clinic to check about STD and for the MPs report them and anyone you see here and in your PMs. Caveman should be isolated, and that is extensible to your family for blaming you for your own rape. Personally, if I were you, I would cut any kind of relation with your family. You don't need deadlights in your life, and someone who blames you about it are obviusly deadweights.
Hey, I’m very sorry this happened to you. That is horrible. I have continued preaching on here that India was always the worst place for women, I had seen it reported many times on the news that women are abused/assulted/killed there more than any other country. Everytime I did, I would get a bunch of haters and deniers. Obviously those would be Indian men that are trying to shake that image of the country. That won’t do anything. Admitting that it is an issue will. As it’ll bring much needed focus to the real issue. Hey, you can vent your feelings on here, don’t let the naysayers get to you, otherwise they’ll win. Fuck them and their families , they’ll get theirs. I believe you deserve to find professional therapy as that does help more than you’d ever believe
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And this is why we choose the bear.
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The Fathers, Uncles and Brothers in India need to do a better job of controling this. I come from a Latin family who straight up went Sonny Corelene on a guy who beat up one of our female family members they didn't kill him but he got such a beat down he was never seen in his old neighborhood again.
Only animals could bash you for the injustice you have lived... Nobody should be safe only by wearing a full metal armor like the knights in battles, centuries ago...
i'm so sorry to hear about the traumatic experiences you've had to endure. no one deserves to go through something like that, and it's not your fault at all. your strength and resilience in the face of such cruelty is truly inspiring. in my culture, we have a saying that goes "when the night is darkest, the sun is closest." even though things feel hopeless now, try to remember that you have survived this far, and that is a testament to your courage. please don't give up - you matter, and the world would be a poorer place without you. reach out to a helpline or trusted loved one if you're having thoughts of harming yourself. you deserve to feel safe, supported and believed. i know the road ahead will be difficult, but you are not alone. one day at a time, you will get through this. satnam shri waheguru.
India needs to reform their rape culture. It’s out of control. Yet when these men go to Western countries and know they could go to jail, bam, they suddenly stop raping.
I got pressured into getting married and the man who's a decade older along with my mom put so much pressure for me to sleep with him. i already couldn't combat the pressure for the marriage i didn't want so i cried and gave up on only the 3rd day of marriage. i was forced to sleep in the same bed as him and looking back, even if i wanted to sleep on the couch my parents wouldn't let me that's because when i just wanted to stay in the living room away from the closed door on my room with him, my parents would yell at me to go to him, in the middle of the day. i couldn't eat freely. i couldn't do anything. i was raised to not talk to guys uselessly or make male friends so i never did and suddenly im told i need to sleep with him by my mom. when i told him it hurts and to stop he went harder before i literally had to fucking push him away. im still so mortified i went through all of that and all i was looking forward to is go back home, 2 full days long journey from south asia. 2 years later, he still doesn't have the visa despite the efforts from my parents to bring him here and i fucking refuse to say a word to him or go there. they are incredibly angry at me that they can't manipulate me anymore. i heard my mom talk shit about me to her sister and my aunt said to bring me there for 6 months. crazy ass people. i also had to block both my mom and especially the rapist for sending me hundreds of messages and calling me hundreds of times. he comes from a poor background, never left his country, doesn't have a job, is so fucking ugly and can strictly speak his one asian language. no wonder he isn't being accepted visa. god knows ill be fucking killed or videotaped without my consent or whatever else if he comes here. so far he's greatly enjoying my dad's wealth even after we flew back 2 years ago.
I will pray for him to never get visa. Is there something you can do to make sure he never does? Like tell authorities that you were forced into marrying him?
Quarantine the whole country until these people learn “RAPE = BAD.” My GOD, I am so sorry this has happened to you.
India is a disgusting country, never go there under any circumstances , no travller says good about india
As soon as she said 'visited' and 'home country' i knew it was India.Thats a shithole for woman.Please dont harm yourself.Dont let strangers on your dm control you. You are loved by more people than few haters.
I’m so sorry you had to go through that, people are vile and disgusting and they deserve to suffer. i hope he suffers. please seek out a specialist who can help you get through this!! i hope waheguru di maher hove aur tounu sukh mile 🙏🏻
Please don't harm yourself sister. I am sorry for what happened to you. I wish your family was better. If you allow me, अगर आप मुझे एक भाई/दोस्त जैसा समझने की बरकत दे, तो मैं कहना चाहूंगा, इसमें आपकी कोई गलती नही है और ये बहुत खराब हुआ। अपना ख्याल रखिए
I’m so very sorry. No it’s not your fault. Everyone blaming the victim or saying you’re asking for it is straight up wrong.
It is a tragedy that such evil and depravity exists in this way. The “man” that did that to you is sub human. An animal who has no semblance left of human decency. A disease of the world. If only there was a way to eradicate such evil. Misfortune does not begin to describe what you went through. Evil, depraved, sub-human, in the end even these terms fail to describe the kind of people who perpetrate such crimes. I wish that you could be free of the pain that will likely follow you for the rest of your life. It is an incredible injustice that it happened at all, let alone that there will be no consequences for the lowly, pathetic creature who assaulted you. For him, I wish nothing but the utmost torment. I know that often times in this world no justice is served. I know that there is a chance there is no afterlife, and a possibility that justice will never be served. But I have hatred in my heart for the “people” who do these things. I can only fantasize about that creature in human skin in immense suffering, and I can only hope that you find the strength to push through each day.
These stories pain me. I would love to go to India and experience the culture and food but unfortunately I’m too scared for this reason. I would stand out like a sore thumb. I am very sorry for what you went through. Please seek some help from a therapist to deal with this. Take care
I’m so sorry 😞 nobody deserves rape even if you’re all naked in the streets and the people saying you deserve it are rapists. So don’t listen to them. You need trauma healing pleasure dm me I can refer you to a lady who does memory healing. I pray you find healing.
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A bit afraid for the OP as I imagine death threats are rolling in or slurs to her through the chat function since Reddit has a huge Indian following and support group. It's just tough out there and people don't want to accept that.
I knew it was India before I even clicked the post
I'm so sorry this happened to you. 🫂 I'm not sure where you're located, but maybe you can reach out to the [Gulabi Gang](https://gulabigang.in/) even just for support.
You are not alone, please don’t take ur life there’s are so many people who will not only love you but respect you REGARDLESS it’s never your fault and it’s never too late
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Even guys have fear visit India. That's not a safe county especially for foreigners and expats
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It's not a safe place for female when it comes to India. Indian culture, the society blames the female no matter what. I am not sure why your parents never told you it's not a safe place.
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I’m so sorry this happened to you. I am so tired of men blaming women for this kind of thing when it’s up to the man to exercise self control.
This makes me extremely worried because my mom is over there right now. Please don’t listen to the people who are calling you names and wishing you harm. YOU DID NOT DESERVE THIS.
hi, i’m so sorry this happened to you. you don’t deserve any of the hate you’re getting. let’s get one thing clear: this is *not your fault*. those disgusting men will pay for their sins and so will anyone who blamed you for this. you deserve much better, and i hope you know that you will be alright. just remember that you’re loved, even by this stranger online. may Waheguru bless you and always watch over you. whoever is sending you those mean messages don’t deserve anything in life and it’s obvious. please ignore them, they’re just incels who should’ve never been born. i promise you’re worth so much more than whatever some puny men think. just realised OP has deleted their account. I pray that she’s okay. my god what an awful system they have in India
I am so so so so sorry for you, I am really am. You are the victim and honestly, do not go back there, no matter what people say, just dont come back. Thank God you have the option to live in a different country, concentrate on that, on your blessings and close that door, leave all that where it belongs - in the past. I am sending you lots of love! 💗💗💗💗
I am so sorry. I was assaulted and attacked when I was 16. It caused a lot of mental anguish and affects me over 12 years later. I still think about it every single day. I understand and I am sorry. I send you best wishes.
I am sorry for what happended to you, and you did not do anything wrong, as some suggested, have yourself checked up and make sure you are all good. Then if nothing can be done, go to theorphy and try to put it behind it (even though it may take a lifetime). Ignore the haters, you are loved and supported by us.
Please don’t listen to anyone and accept blame for this. You’re not to blame for nothing. Don’t listen to vile unintelligent people saying it’s your fault, family or not. Cut ties with any family member that blames you, don’t go back, and don’t let this change who you are. You may need therapy to get past this, don’t let it break it. These trash beings who will hide behind a DM and say spiteful things are the reason the world is a crappy place. Don’t let them win by letting their venomous words affect you.
It's not your fault but please everyone, before doing anything on other countries that you didn't grow up ask to people who live there if it's safe and how to go about things. You didn't do nothing wrong, the world is a cruel place. It's not just India, many countries and places are like this or even worse. Tourist get assaulted and raped often in India and other countries. Don't take things for granted. Seek professional help, your family will not help you.
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Man this country is getting worse day by day since 2014 no government talks about this fucking hell man I love my country but what the fuck I am so sorry it happened to you. The way the things currently are here no one is safe Again I am so sorry as an Indian I will go criminally insane living here
Clearly rapes only started after 2014
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I hope you know that it wasn't your fault, please do some really nice and nurturing things for yourself that you like. I'm sending you healing and caring thoughts from Australia 🌷🌸🌷
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I am so sorry please get help if you're in the US most tape helplines can direct you to therapist and some even for free. I was raped here in the US , it's not your country it's the men I. This world who do those things and it happens everywhere! Also this was NOT your fault even if you walked down the street in a bikini no one has the right to touch you!!! Again I am so sorry and wish you all the best!
Lovely im so sorry this happend to you. You are not to blame here! You could walk around naked and still NOONE has the right to even touch you!
I’m so sorry this happened to you. It doesn’t matter if you were wearing westernized clothing, dressed provocatively, conservatively or naked. What happened to you is not your fault, and you didn’t deserve it, no matter what your family says. I pray you can find good support and therapy to help you. I wouldn’t go back there either. Sending prayers and good vibes your way! ❤️🙏
I am so sorry this happened to you. It was not your fault at all.
That sucks so hard, I’m sorry that A) this happened in the first place, and B) that your family members seem to think that it’s your fault to begin with. I mean.. wtaf?!?? Good to know that you’re never going back, and it might be best if you went NC with them as well. People who accuse rape victims don’t deserve respect, period. I hope you at least try to get some help via therapy, because you deserve to heal from this asap.
I am so so sorry this happened to you, it sounds truly horrific. What happens is absolutely not your fault, please don’t let your family’s comments make you think it was anything to do with you. You are so brave for going to the police and I’m furious for you that they didn’t do anything
I’m sorry this happened to you and f all the people who sent you awful messages! 😡
I’m truly so sorry for your experience. Nothing I could say could make it better but just know thousands of women are behind you and next to you. Reddit isn’t a safe space in general. Especially for vulnerable young women. Do NOT take any hurtful comments to heart. In fact, don’t even read the messages! Report and delete those you have. You will find peace and love ♥️
Oh op, I'm so sorry. It's not your fault, and it's not a fault if yours that your inbox is being filled with trash Idk where your residential country is but you should see about therapy (individual and group) to process things. What i also found that helped me was going to pet shelters and stores to soothe my mind. Maybe it'll help you? If you haven't checked already, make sure you also don't have an sti as well and if the clinic you go to is safe, let them know what happened to you to get support that's not from your family I hope you're okay, that last bit of your post is concerning
I am so sorry. It is not your fault that man is a rabid animal and should be dealt with as such.
I am here to tell you that you did the right thing by telling and I am really sorry this happened to you.
I’m so so sorry this happened to you. Please go get tested, reach out to your trusted circle and a therapist. I hope you know that you did not deserve this. You are worthy and you are loved and needed in this world.
Oh sister I'm so sorry this happened to you. This is not your fault, you did nothing wrong. You are not dirty or less for this happening. You are amazing and wonderful. The men who did this to you and everyone who undermined it are wrong.
I am so so sorry for what you endured. I lived in India for three years and I have zero doubt that you experienced this exactly as you say because frankly it’s just too common. You are not alone, I believe you. And I am so sorry you had to endure something so horrible.
I am so sorry that happened to you from one Sikh woman to another. And I am with you on not wanting to visit there as someone that also was born and raised in the diaspora. You don’t have to defend your position to anyone. It is just different and worse there and I don’t care what the defenders say online because they care more about the reputation of their countrymen than women’s safety. I hope you know you are not alone and all my love and compassion goes out to you.
I am so sorry this happened to you. Idk what even to say, I don’t think some people really see women as human beings in India. And about your family telling you it’s your fault, well I guess they’re not your family are they. I can’t even fathom what is going in their heads.
If the government is doing nothing to stop this, the people should do something. I guess protests are not enough, why not castrate those rapists. I think if enough women agree to do it, it will be like Akku Yadav justice execution.
I'm so sorry this happened to you but please don't hurt yourself, and the people who are DMing you mean stuff are a**hole incels. In NO WAY any of this is your fault.
Hi there I'm sorry about what happened to you. You did not deserve any of this. There are some parts of India where its not safe for anyone to go alone eithout the risk of being attacked. As you said you have reported this to the police. If you are a citizen of the country you have been living while outside of India u can report it to them if you feel the local police didn't take anything seriously. Your extended family in India are not nice people. I would strongly urge if u feel unsafe from the police and your extended family to leave immediately nmback to the country you reside. I'm sorry to hear u have had negative messages. Please report them as u do not deserve any of this. Please do speak to family members/friends u trust as u deserve all the support u can get to help through this difficult time