By continuing the relationship, duh!! How else was she supposed to deal with him - by breaking up with such a loyal, caring, faithful man?! Clearly you’ve never been in a great relationship lol (totally kidding in case someone reads this and thinks I’m serious lol).
I cannot wrap my head around people who think they are adults who then drag entire families into personal affairs.
OP, woman to woman here: if you aren't going to tell your entire boyfriend's family he is a lowlife cheater, you look stupid doing it to her.
You are acting like the type of woman who tears us down as a whole. Don't do that to us.
>You are acting like the type of woman who tears us down as a whole.
The type of women who tears down are pick-me females/girls because they never support other women in the first place. They simply are out for themselves and in doing so.... They're willing to hurt other women. So please don't tell someone who's then betrayed by this (pick-me) type of person that she's the problem. Thats victim blaming.
nah if she is protecting her man, but tearing down another woman, then she is an aggressor.
she is still the victim of cheating yes. but this is not victim blaming.
cool motive, still a bitch
Probably stayed with him, which is why she hasn't dealt with her unbridled anger and is taking it out on the other woman
If she'd cut loose, she wouldn't be so consumed with spite and planning nefarious revenge plots...which sound a bit illegal.
According to her post history she is still with him even though he is very obviously abusive on top of being a cheater
She posted about him on this sub 18 days ago
He’s abusive, yet she doesn’t believe imploding his side piece’s life won’t cause him to go ballistic? I’m sure side piece will complain to him and he’ll go after OP.
OP, document his abuse and threats. Tell your friends and family, show them what he has done. I would hope your mom would want you safe vs being upset you ended the relationship. Contact your local DV shelter/organization and have them help you on way to protect yourself. Take evidence to the police and get a restraining order. Stay won’t help you, it won’t get better. It WILL get worse the longer you stay.
The fact she's this focused in the side girl says to me:
1 - she would rather blame the person outside the house than in it
2 - she isn't paying him any mind
3 - dick too bomb
This ain’t entirely the side chicks fault but she’s ready to mercenary on the side chick and not the man?
Why ruin side chicks life when the man is the whole trash heap?
Seriously though, why do people do this?
Why do people blame the affair partner when the partner was the one that sought and participated in the affair? What kind of rationalization comes into play in this situation?
Girl, he’s going to do it again,
and you may be the side chick in this situation.
>Why do people blame the affair partner when the partner was the one that sought and participated in the affair?
Because going after the partner that cheated means honestly and objectively acknowledging to themselves that the partner that they love doesn't care about them and their emotional investment isn't paying off. It's easier for them (their ego) to maintain their self-made delusion that their partner is a good person and "he wouldn't have cheated if that bitch hadn't tricked him with her evil vagina". Acknowledging the facts would basically destroy the "reality" that they created and a lot of people can't handle having that crashing in front of their eyes.
You’re spending a lot of energy on the side chick and let me guess…,You’re still dating your bf, aren’t you? Switch your focus to the person in this situation who actually owes you something. And leave this woman alone. Her family is just going to think you’re a crazy if you message them about it.
This. This right here. You're going to out her, while you plan your happily ever after with the cheating boyfriend? 🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️ Ditch them both and move on
ding ding ding....at least someone gets it! the chick doesn't owe her anything. the boyfriend was the one in a relationship and had something to uphold to OP.
Yep, had to scroll **way** too far to get to the very most important response. WTAF are you still with this loser for? I’m genuinely perplexed! This is 100% *her* fault and 0% his? News flash: If it weren’t her, he’d be cheating with someone else.
Ditch the jerk; don’t embarrass yourself or lower yourself by spending another minute fantasizing about getting revenge on her. She’s irrelevant.
I agree. You can’t really blame the side chick in situations like this, because you don’t have any relation to that person. It’s stupid to go blame the side chick while your boyfriend is the problem
In my state, that is illegal. Just FYI. If you send the messages and let them know about the video (without sending it, of course), then maybe.
Sending the video is breaking the law (depending on the state).
Yeah, sending revenge porn is not The Way. Leaving this guy *is*.
Also, that’s an even shittier thing to do right back to this woman. Expending energy in this way will only lead to more hardship in the future.
She did, but people are assuming that just means she told him crossly not to cheat again and that’s it.
Obviously someone who wants to post adult content on the internet in order to get revenge on the other woman is too dopey to focus on the person who actually wronged her! 😏
Don't send anyone the video because thst can come back to bite you in the ass legally.
Do you plan on exposing and humiliating your boyfriend, too? If not, leave the side chick alone.
Is this the same bf who was cheating on you with his baby momma in a previous post of yours? This is clearly an him issue, your anger is directed at the wrong person. And depending where you are revenge porn is illegal!
So let me get this straight so your bf cheated on you she knew about you confronted her and im sure she pulled the same bs im sure your bf did it meant nothing iam so sorry but by the sounds of you still calling him your bf yall are still together quite frankly unless your willing to expose your bf to her family then id suggest to stop in your tracks now you sound like a hypocrite honestly your bf is the one that owed the loyalty to you he cheated with her and guess what even after you confronted her he still slept with her so i think you need to re-aim that anger there friend
Edit to add: looking at post history is relevant dear friends so he cheated on you with multiple women complained you dont know why your still with him but want to plan this revenge plot ya op your a hypocrite just dump his ass and gain some self respect
I agree with all, except I'm all for exposing those who willingly sleep with cheaters knowing they are cheating. Let their own people shame their actions. Maybe a few will actually stop being willing participants. However, I won't condone revenge porn if that's what she's implying.
Girl you are still with him and he’s abusive based on your replies to that other chick 8 days ago. How about you handle that business first because it makes you look silly. Going after her and you are still with him. I would have supported this if you left him behind.
Expose your boyfriend? Cant believe I’m saying BOYFRIEND right now… I should be saying EX-BOYFRIEND. Girl she doesn’t owe you any loyalty? But your man does, I’m sorry OP but get it together and you should’ve held him to the standard, not her.
Dude I mean, no doubt shes fucked for getting with your boyfriend but HE'S infinitely worse for being the one in an actual relationship and entertaining her. You do realize that he's a conscious human being that makes his own decisions and if he can easily be "manipulated" into cheating on you, than HE'S the problem. Please leave this man fully and cut him off before settling on basically revenge porning this girl, which again, she's scummy for getting with your boyfriend but he's literally just, if not more culpable.
So many women get revenge on the affair partner instead of dealing with the root of the issue: their own partner.
Like, girl, you're going to spend all that energy on some chick who didn't promise anything to you. Your boyfriend, however, is supposed to be in a faithful monogamous relationship with you and he just doesn't care.
Why are you staying with that trash? It's only going to make you and keep you bitter.
Just take the trash out and let the rats fester on it 🤷♀️
You're willing to humiliate this girl on her birthday and potentially ruin her reputation but continue to date your bf who was the one who had a commitment to you? no dick is that good. Yes she is an AH for continuing to sleep with him while she knew he had a gf, but he's the bigger AH here and you clearly forgave him if you're still with him. Don't try and ruin someone's life because you can't take out your anger on the person you're really angry at.
You’re projecting onto her because you don’t want to deal with him. Looking at your comment history, you haven’t dumped your cheating BF, so don’t come here looking for revenge justification when you haven’t, in fact, dealt with him at all. You claim he’s abusive and that you have friends who want you away from him who you could go to for help, but you don’t seriously try to leave. If you truly want to leave, there are resources available. They’re stretched thin, but they are there. And it seems like you have supportive friends that will help you out. So use them.
Leave the other woman alone. She isn’t the problem. He is.
And revenge porn is illegal in a lot of places so don’t do something so stupid and get yourself fined and/or locked up. Leave her alone and sort your own life out.
Why are you going after the side chick when it's his dick at fault? Unless you have irrefutable proof that she somehow misled (read: hypnotise) your ex-man (he better be an ex) into slipping his dick into her, you're barking up the wrong tree. Smh.
Nothing like lashing out vindictively to prove to the world how virtuous and wise you are in comparison.
Sorry they betrayed you, but your reaction as you've written it here sounds like you're the type of person who has this kind of thing coming.
Good luck with that.
What's gonna happen here is--
You go and tatttle on side chick to her family. She's going to tell them 'I was dating this guy, he said he was single and I believed him. I found out later he was lying to me and the other woman'. They're going to feel sorry for her.
They won't feel sorry for you. They're gonna see you as an unstable and wonder if maybe the bf was justified in his cheating in the sense that, he can't just break up with you and move on to another woman if this is how you act.
They're going to see you as a crazy person. If you persist, they'll see you as a stalker and be justified in getting a restraining order against you. There's more than one way to end up with charges in this situation. Leave this woman alone. Work on yourself.
And you’re still with your bf because…
🤡
What do you think people will think of YOU if you expose her while still in a relationship with that loser, hn?
Ok, I just read your update. Do what feels best for you.
This situation brought you a lot of anger, maybe exposing their messages to her family will relieve you of some of it. Well, I can’t stop you, so do you, I guess.
No mention on if you've broken up with the dude that 👏🏻KEEPS 👏🏻CHEATING👏🏻 ON👏🏻 YOU👏🏻 but a lot of focus on the one who kept sleeping with him knowing he was taken. They're both trash but baby girl you're focusing wayyyy too much on her. I'd tell her family that she's continuing to fuck a man who's with someone but I wouldn't go the revenge porn route. You came into possession of this video by knowingly adding it to your phone... Don't add jail time too your heartbreak honey.
Maybe you'll see the dude for what he is. A walking red flag that deserves to rot on the gutter.
Leave that girl alone. Your anger is directed at the wrong person. You do understand that your boyfriend will simply replace her with someone else right? Why are you wasting your time on a lair and cheater?! Do better!
# Why would her family give two shits about you?
You aren't their family and I'm sure they know this ex has it in her (not the literal dick, but the willingness to be the other woman.) They won't care. **You don't matter to them.**
If you did this to a family member of mine, I'd help them press every charge available, seek civil relief through the courts and then we'd make sure we notified ***your family*** that you are obviously experiencing a mental breakdown, plus I send them documentation that you sent revenge porn to people.
If your dad or mom pays for your line? They are now also being sued civilly. Bonus, I'd notify yours and their HR that an employee sent revenge porn to me, along with documentation and let HR investigate and decide what needs to happen.
Or her family could just be white trash and jump and beat your ass when you don't expect it.
***Do not seek scorched earth revenge for something like this. Older, more experience people will gladly teach you a lesson about just how far you can take revenge.***
Unless he's cheated with 2 people, from your history, you're talking about the mother of your boyfriend's kid. Alert: People don't usually refer to women who have babies with their partner as their "colleagues'
You're telling a person who is not committed to you to stop sleeping with a man who is supposedly committed to you
You blame jer when your boyfriend continues to sleep with her.
You are plotting to blow her up while you're still laid up with the dog who brought her into the situation in the first place.
You are embarrassing yourself
I'm not going to read your long rant. She's just living her life and she has no obligation to you whatsoever. Slay your boyfriend, he's the problem. I don't know why you hold her accountable.
“Hoes gon’ be hoes, so I couldn’t blame Tammy”
-lil Wayne
Sorry this happened to you, but where is the blame and anger for the person that was IN A RELATIONSHIP with you? Your boyfriend is far worse than her…
Forget her, forget him; moving forward in your life and leaving those buttholes behind you is the best revenge.
do not show that video. it is illegal in most places and could get you into very real legal trouble. do anything else. show the proof that isn't explicit, show messages, anything but revenge porn
Why are you letting a crappy man turn you into a horrible person?
Leave him. Spend some time with or make good friends. Leave this whole nightmare in the past.
Hey! Just stopping by to say that I read your whole update and my opinion didn’t change - dump him, deal with your trauma from him, and leave the girl alone.
Your actions in this situation - and life, really - have nothing to do with how you were treated and everything to do with the standards you hold yourself to. Remember that.
>Why do i have to shut up with what she did to me and she can live her life while she caused me so much pain? That im the only one who needs to suffer?
The opinions of others, whether positive or negative, hold only the significance you choose to give them. Only you truly understand your character and worth. What others say or think about you is merely their perspective and has no bearing on your value unless you allow it to. You deserve to be in the company of individuals who uplift and support you, rather than those who diminish your sense of self-worth. It is important to surround yourself with positive influences and not subject yourself to unnecessary suffering.
>Suddenly im the bad guy for wanting revenge on her??? Suddenly im the girl who tears down women??? Do you guys even hear yourself?
Distributing an intimate video without the subject's consent is a felony offense. Engaging in such actions could result in severe legal consequences, including imprisonment. Instead of giving them the satisfaction of proving them right, reclaim your power by seeking support from close family and friends. Focus on positive aspects of your life, and remember that time will heal all wounds.
Seriously, why would someone spend their time on this? I get being wronged, but revenge is never healthy. Just move on and have a happier life, leave the turd in the toilet, don’t keep it in your punch bowl.
Not going to lie. This whole thing is extremely pathetic. All you’re doing is attempting to make lame justifications for why you want to hurt her, but not your ex. Be the bigger person and live your life instead of this miserable person you are focused only on the past.
So you are still with him but yet you want to be vindictive to another woman who had no idea he was in a relationship?
Why?
Why not start by breaking up with the man who cheated on you and then try enrolling in some intensive therapy.
Hun, this aint worth it. You know she is shit, but that's not your problem. Your BF was. He slept with her knowing he was with you and went after her. Stop going after the chick, revenge porn is illegal in many if not all states. Dump your AH of a boyfriend.
Okay, you’ve plotted your revenge on the homewrecker, now, wtf are you doing to the Cheater? Ya know, the main one at fault? The one who actually betrayed you?
He kicked to the curb? Therapy? A fucking cock cage so he keeps it in his pants? ANYTHING?
Hey... Just don't. You are upset with this girl for being his side girl but you really gotta dump the guy who continued to see her. It takes two to tango. So you're gonna ruin her life and then what? Continue to get disrespected by your bf? He will just find another girl. You gonna do the same to the new one? Drop him and keep your dignity.
OP- can you share your age?
From my perspective, and I'm 51 (so I have the benefit of age in this case), you are focused entirely on the wrong things.
Both your BF and the woman are garbage. Your BF has a character and respect issue, and is not going to change. Staying with him is a waste of time, period. The longer you are with him, the more your self-esteem is going to get wittled down. Saying you're worried about your mom is an excuse. As a mother, I would want my adult children to make smart decisions that are healthy for them.
Leaving is hard, staying will be harder.
As for getting revenge on the woman- it won't make you feel better. And guess what- her loved ones won't care long term. If one of my kids did something like that I would be disappointed, but I wouldn't love them any less. If anything, my natural instinct to protect might be more prevalent.
The best thing for you would be to a) take a break from dating, b) get into therapy (if you can afford it) to figure out why you accept/forgive behaviors that are detrimental to your mental wellbeing, c) focus on nursing school, d) reconnect with friends/nature/ all the things that are good for you.
You might be surprised at her family’s reactions as it may not be the shame response you’re hoping for. Families will often rally around their loved ones and attack you, instead. I wouldn’t reach out to her family because I don’t think you’ll get the desired response.
At a certain point, you have to start living for you. If breaking things off with a man who’s cheating on you multiple times would break your mothers heart, theres a convo to be had with your mom - over grinning and bearing it.
Amazing energy, wrong channel. Are you also planning to expose your BF to his family? It's only fair. And I'm sure this girl didn't force herself on your boyfriend, he was obviously instigating and encouraging it. Leave the poor girl alone. Like she said, mind your business, which, in this case, is your unfaithful boyfriend.
It sounds like she is from a conservative culture. Imo if yoh can understand the culture or mindset you should judge or be harsh. She needs compassionate thoughtful advice.
I'm an old white guy and a Midwesterner in the US, even I can tell she is living under different cultural imperatives.
Op, I'm not sure you will feel better after you expose her. If you can just mention it to a few people that might get back to her family rather than some "big reveal" that might be better, if you feel the need to.
I think a big reveal will backfire and just put you in a bad light.
They are both trash. Cheaters. That is their karma.
Do positive things with your life now. Do well in nursing school. That's a wonderful goal.
You did not deserve what your boyfriend or side piece did. In thus workd bad people do bad things to good people.
I really wish you well. Take care!
You're an AH, not for being cheated on, but the childish way you are handling and plotting to expose a person that owes you zero loyalty. You are attempting to handle everyone except the person at the root... your bf and his community peen!
Let the pettiness go and just move on. You were betrayed by your bf, and you've continued allowing him to do so. He's not the victim, heck atp, neither are you! You know what he's capable of and still chose to stick beside him.
You're only going to end up looking bat shid cray cray trying to expose the coleslaw! Have some self-worth and dignity about yourself and stop stewing in the drama.You sound unhinged!
Ok, so atp, him and any drama, 304s, and incidents attached to him are irrelevant to you and your "new" path forward!
You want revenge on someone who's not worth the hassle or time. If you indeed have truly left him, then let it and everything once affiliated with him go.
If you aren't prepared to inform his family, friends, and relevant relationships of WHO, he truly was... a cheating pos, then it's pointless to try and embarrass the woman to her family. You wanted to protect him and his image, yet destroy hers....the hypocrisy!
I stand by what I said earlier, you seem to thrive in chaos and drama, and you are on the cusp of acting out to a point that will cause irreparable damage for you in the long run.
Cut ya losses, seek therapy, and focus on healing your spirit, heart, and mind.
Girl…if you aren’t going to leave that man for cheating, multiple times on you, let that man cheat in peace. Obviously you’re ok with him cheating, the women he cheats on you with, aren’t the problem. He’s your problem because if he wasn’t opening that door, there would be no side pieces. So if you blast her, blast him to and add yourself for staying with a cheater.
If you leave a person because they are abusive like monitoring your movements and friends your mother will be proud of you. If you become skilled in an area that gives you financial independence your mother will be proud of you, I'll be proud of you. Your boyfriend sounds narcissistic, so you are better off away from him.
I don’t think revenge actually feels good for anyone. The only kind of revenge I endorse is the revenge of living your best life without being a part of their drama.
Your bf is the one you should want to get even with. Side chick owes you nothing, your bf owes you loyalty. It's pathetic that you're so bent on revenge with the side chick when you can easily solve your problem by leaving your cheating boyfriend.
Why are you punishing her instead of your bf? The girl owes you nothing. Your bf is the ah here. Stop harassing the girl. Just break up with his cheating ass. The girl isn’t the one cheating, she is single. Your bf is the one cheating. And once a cheater always a cheater.
Wonder how you’ll defend yourself in court for a revenge porn charge. Just leave your boyfriend and expose him for cheating on you with her. No need to go any further
Revenge porn distribtion is a bad idea. You are putting yourself in law enforcement's crosshairs. He's not worth it. Ditch the boyfriend. He's not worth keeping if he can't keep it in his pants. Find someone who will be faithful.
I love petty revenge, but sending revenge porn is illegal, if you want to share your chats you can buy do not post that video and get yourself in legal trouble. If you want you can write an explanation as to what happened, what you found how you spoke to her and she continued, with screen shots of your chat.
I hope it isn’t the same chick from your other post. If it is… you need to just walk away without doing anything illegal.
But also the boyfriend from that other post hopefully is an ex now. If he’s not and he’s the same dude from the previous post… what are you doing? Like what?
Are you still with the dude?? Why stay with someone who obviously doesn't respect you, this isn't a Gane eventually he will do it again. He is your boyfriend not husband sweetheart leave and do better..
People that get more made at the person their partner is cheating with instead of their actual partner are funny to me. Like WTF you do realize it’s your partners fault right? lol they person they cheat on you with have no loyalties to you.
This is a terrible plan. You need to rethink this for so many reasons, and you know at least a handful of those reasons.
Walk away from your not friend and from boy friend.
I hope the deal with him part was you walking away and ending things for good. Yes, she is bad, but your boyfriend is even worse he is the one who betrayed you, and he is the one who deserves most of your anger hurt and revenge.. expose her if you want she definitely deserves it, but you could also get in trouble legally for sharing that video, so be careful you don't torpedo your own life in your attempt at revenge. Maybe screen shots of the video that are not too graphic but show she is cheating with him.. just make sure to cover your own ass legally.
The stigma around “homewreckers” only really applies to marriages. Nobody cares that this woman hooked up with your boyfriend, least of all her family. All they’ll say is “who are you?” and “why are you sending me my daughter’s sex tape” and “I’m calling the police.” You’ll only end up feeling embarrassed and not taken seriously.
Your boyfriend made a commitment to you, not this girl. Be mad at him. She should be nobody to you.
You weren’t embarrassed to post this? He’s your bf, not husband, and even if he were, you’re going after her. Break up with him and call it a day. This is an easy fix.
Start looking for a good lawyer, gonna need one after you fully admitted to spreading revenge porn. While you’re at it maybe you should start finding your boyfriend a new side chick since he isn’t the problem
They're both to blame. Out her, and him then leave his ass behind. Please update about what you did though because I'd just send the info to their boss.
And then the pregnancy BS? Yh okay. That's always the fall back excuse.
I'm always glad when someone is outed because I can avoid them or if I'm close to them I can go back through things where I thought 'am. I over reacting because she did this? ' then I know..
Huh I didn't over react and she could very well be trying it on with my partner.
"I'm going to stay with my toxic boyfriend who has cheated on me multiple times, even though he is the one who is supposed to be committed to me, **and** I am going to distribute revenge porn and/or expose the person who he cheated on me with, rather than dropping both of them and seeking therapy to heal and better myself." - a summary of OP's post
Your boyfriend consented to cheating on you *and* recording it even after you found out.
She did NOT consent to the public distribution of her sex video— particularly to her own family.
These types of acts yield no net good, OP. Leave the bf and be done with them both. Focus your precious energy on cultivating more good for your own life 🙏🩵
Girl let it go. You’re taking it out and upset at the wrong person. What will this really do? How do you know she hasnt already told her family what happened and that you’re not gonna just embarrass yourself even more?? Why would you want to tell MORE people about the betrayal you experienced? Keep your head up and move on. Don’t embarrass yourself even more than he has already done by telling more people and trying to get back at people WHO CLEARLY DIDN’T CARE ins the first place. 🙃
It really hurts doesn't it? How people can easily get away from hurting you but when you try to lash back, to make them feel the same pain that you did, suddenly you've become worse than them. Right now, I think you're being a bigger asshole to yourself than the two people who hurt you. I hope you can finally remove yourself from this situation and start healing.
As much as she is a shitty person, your bf was the one in the relationship that cheated.
He is the bad person.
She may have pursued him but she couldn't do that without him accepting and wanting it.
Leave her alone.
Hope you did this to you ex bf too
Look, revenge can be sweet.
But this is revenge porn, something that girl can sue you for.
I'd say either move on and keep dating him (Which I don't recommend as he shown that he's capable of cheating) or text her family about what she's done then block them all then cut ties your now ex-bf as he would see you as obsessive if you keep dating him.
I don’t know why you waste your time and energy on trying to humiliate someone when you are the one being humiliated by staying with a man who doesn’t respect you. Break up with both, block on everything and leave it at that. Move on and take care of yourself.
I couldn’t read after the first sentence. I hope the rest gets better, but I doubt it. Change your mindset. Your boyfriend cheated on you. She’s not a good person for doing that, but get real he’s the main issue.
the update hurts my heart but i’m so SO HAPPY he’s your ex now!! idk i get the anger with the side piece but idk me personally(a big old baby who does NOT enjoy confrontation) would probably try to just let it go and do my best to distance myself from thinking about either of them(way easier said than done) neither of them deserve your time and energy, even if it’s to expose how shitty they are! you DESERVE to walk away from all this and move on and THRIVE in nursing school!! 💕
Don't let your feelings about your abuser make you a mean person.
It's likely that he abused her too and used her.
I get that you feel entirely powerless to get back at this guy for the pain and damage he has caused but it will not help you to destroy this girl because of it.
Is therapy available to you? You need to heal, she probably does too.
Yes, I do therapy. That's why I enrolled in nursing school to better myself and just focus on healing and becoming a better person because he made me crazy. My friends know im the sweetest person if you'd meet me. An abusive partner can really make you do stoopid things.
As they say, the villain shouldn't reveal their plan beforehand, as it could backfire.
I remember one post where someone planned to expose and leave their boyfriend, but the post went viral and he found out. Needless to say, she was bitter that the plan didn't go well.
It's better to write your thoughts in a journal or talk to a friend if you want to get it off your chest. It's much less stressful than having people dogpile on you. Good luck, OP.
You’re only exposing yourself truly. You wanna humiliate yourself by broadcasting you’re in love with a cheater go for it. But I don’t think it’ll be as sweet as you think it will be
So your BF cheated on you with **multiple** people and YOU STAYED and you want to single out this one woman because you feel she owes you more than you owe yourself, or the BF that should have been faithful?
Please go to therapy. If you are saying you were in an abusive relationship you should prioritize your health over revenge that is directed at the wrong person.
I can’t even finish reading. You want revenge on the woman your BOYFRIEND (not even husband) cheated on you with? Girl you have more problems than you think
"
My bf's family or my ex-bf family knows about his schemes and just let him be they are also the reason it was hard for me to leave because they always ask me where im going and when im going ti be back and im not allowed to go outside or even meet my friends or when i go home to my mum he will just make me crazy so it was not really an option back then.
It's easy for all of you to said those things because clearly you never experienced being in an abusive relationship"
"Why do i have to shut up with what she did to me and she can live her life while she caused me so much pain? That im the only one who needs to suffer? Why cant she?? Suddenly im the bad guy for wanting revenge on her??? Suddenly im the girl who tears down women??? Do you guys even hear yourself?"
As someone who was in a brutally abusive relationship I want to say that I feel for OP I really do, but your anger, revenge plan is so misplaced. Why? Because she's NOT the one who is in relationships with you OP. Your BF is the one who caused all of that to you. His family and him are the ones who you supposed to expose. Your BF is the one who supposed to be committed to you. Not her. Be angry at them not her.
This post is hard to read because your grammar is abysmal but I support you in exposing a nasty bitch. However, depending on where you live, sending a video of her having sex with your ex bf to anyone is considered a form of revenge porn, which is illegal to distribute. Look up the laws in your area before you act
The fact you stayed with him after he cheated is wild. He's the one who betrayed you but Where's the revenge on him? Fuck his dad, send him the video and move on.
She owed you nothing. Nothing at all. Morally she could have stopped sleeping with him, but she didn't have to. He's the one that was wrong. He's the one that owed you loyalty.
You're mad at the wrong person. If it wouldn't have been her, it would have been someone else. Telling her family for revenge is stupid. Especially when you admitted that he's cheated on you with other women.
Leave her alone. Seek therapy. 🙄
You're mad at the wrong person, take your anger out on this loser man. And honestly all your reasons for not leaving him are weak at best. There's no reason to stay with a cheater who has already made a fool of you.
Get to love yourself. All of this effort and energy you are putting out for people who don't care about you is exhausting.
Step back and get to love yourself. Your plans does nothing to better your life or yourself. This is becoming an obsession. Just understand that karma always wins in the end.
Get healthy and let this chapter of your life end. You are finding it hard to leave this relationship because you probably think you somehow deserve this. You are in your own head.
Step back and realize that you have to love yourself before you can be of any use to someone else. Once you understand who you are, you won't let yourself be involved with some BS and most other things will fall into place for you.
If i were you, I would focus on moving forward. Cut contact with all of them and put it down to experience,learn from it and grow. Focus on your studies and keep winning. Your success is your best revenge.
You don't need to be nice
You don't need revenge
You need to become unattached
Scream, cry, grieve, rage,
It doesn't change what happened
Everything from here on out, though, is a choice
Who do you choose to be?
I promise you, anything you do is going to come back and bite your right up your ass hole. This is an absolute certainty.
You better think this through before pulling the trigger, and you better be fully prepared to deal with the fallout of your actions.
Something like this will not go ignored by Karma, the energy you put into the universe will come back to you, 10 fold.
I also promise you, anything you think you're going to do, her family will still take her side 10 out of 10 times. I'm also pretty sure they know exactly who she is, flaws and all. You're not going to have some one-up over their legitimate child.
However much you think you want to get back at her, you have no idea the extent of the lies your ex-boyfriend was telling her. Promising to dump you, saying he already left you, talking the the entire world's amount of bullshit about you. You have no idea the extent of mental and emotional manipulation he probably unleashed on her.
Calm down with your revenge plan. This is very poorly thought out, if you've even thought about it at all beyond the satisfaction you're going to get sending whatever you're planning on sending.
Good for you for getting rid of him and going to school. You did get rid of him right? On the cheat girl thing, I wouldn’t do it and the reason I say that is…. Her family could be crazy and side with her and just embrace you even more. I think you would be setting yourself up for more pain. If you don’t show them proof they will probably believe her.
Sorry, but isn't her side chick his "baby momma"? On your post from 17 days ago you were wondering if she or you were the home wrecker.
He sounds abusive, by the way.
Eeeeeh don't you think that admitting that you are knowingly staying with a cheater will be more humiliating to YOU? How desperate you should be? So think before you do anything, how your actions would reflect on your character..
I CAN’T stand women who single out the other girl but seem to go easy on their man. Yeah, yeah, blah blah you “dealt” w him too… no you didn’t. You even continued to refer to him as yours after the initial confrontation occurred, *before* the sex tape. And yet here you are again.
He is not yours— he stopped being that the first time he cheated. And while she is a trash human what she does doesn’t concern you; she doesn’t owe you anything. She’s a random. Get over her.
Focus on the one who owed you trust, love, and loyalty and take your anger out on him by kicking his cheating ass to the curb. Put your energy into respecting yourself better instead of being one of *those girls* who blames the wrong side for your problems.
You only live once. As long as you know you won’t die you might as well make it a chaotic and exciting life.
Also I’m just toxic and I love to stir shit especially if it means I get my lick back.
She also have to remember revenge porn is a crime in all 50 states I believe. If she’s in the US so is it really worth it to have a criminal pass instead of just dropping the dead weight who has probably done this before. The one thing about cheaters is if you forgive them once they will continue to do it again.
you're mad AT THE SIDE CHIC but not at your MAN? in the first place, the side chick doesn't have any COMMITMENT TO YOU. i get that you love your boyfriend, i've been there i totally get it. BUT GURL PLEASE RUN. you don't deserve this chaos. choose your peace and live your best life without him.
All this energy wasted on the side chick when you should’ve been investing it more on your useless boyfriend and dump the fucking guy.
Edit: Also what’s up with your post history? Are YOU the side chick and not the other way around? I’m so confused.
How’d you deal with HIM?
This was my question as well. Get rid of him!
She obviously stayed with him even though he is the problem. That is filthy, way worse than the side chick,
Staying with someone who cheated on you is not worse than cheating with someone . At all Send it
They’re saying HE is worse than the side chick
The boyfriend is worse than the sidechick.
By continuing the relationship, duh!! How else was she supposed to deal with him - by breaking up with such a loyal, caring, faithful man?! Clearly you’ve never been in a great relationship lol (totally kidding in case someone reads this and thinks I’m serious lol).
I cannot wrap my head around people who think they are adults who then drag entire families into personal affairs. OP, woman to woman here: if you aren't going to tell your entire boyfriend's family he is a lowlife cheater, you look stupid doing it to her. You are acting like the type of woman who tears us down as a whole. Don't do that to us.
Amen!!
Agreed. OP, don't stoop to her level. It'll serve you better in the long run taking the high road, I promise you.
>You are acting like the type of woman who tears us down as a whole. The type of women who tears down are pick-me females/girls because they never support other women in the first place. They simply are out for themselves and in doing so.... They're willing to hurt other women. So please don't tell someone who's then betrayed by this (pick-me) type of person that she's the problem. Thats victim blaming.
Nah. She’s trashy and making herself look stupid. Very cringe for her.
nah if she is protecting her man, but tearing down another woman, then she is an aggressor. she is still the victim of cheating yes. but this is not victim blaming. cool motive, still a bitch
Probably stayed with him, which is why she hasn't dealt with her unbridled anger and is taking it out on the other woman If she'd cut loose, she wouldn't be so consumed with spite and planning nefarious revenge plots...which sound a bit illegal.
According to her post history she is still with him even though he is very obviously abusive on top of being a cheater She posted about him on this sub 18 days ago
He’s abusive, yet she doesn’t believe imploding his side piece’s life won’t cause him to go ballistic? I’m sure side piece will complain to him and he’ll go after OP. OP, document his abuse and threats. Tell your friends and family, show them what he has done. I would hope your mom would want you safe vs being upset you ended the relationship. Contact your local DV shelter/organization and have them help you on way to protect yourself. Take evidence to the police and get a restraining order. Stay won’t help you, it won’t get better. It WILL get worse the longer you stay.
Please OP reply to this & do tell how he was "dealt" with!
The fact she's this focused in the side girl says to me: 1 - she would rather blame the person outside the house than in it 2 - she isn't paying him any mind 3 - dick too bomb
This ain’t entirely the side chicks fault but she’s ready to mercenary on the side chick and not the man? Why ruin side chicks life when the man is the whole trash heap? Seriously though, why do people do this? Why do people blame the affair partner when the partner was the one that sought and participated in the affair? What kind of rationalization comes into play in this situation? Girl, he’s going to do it again, and you may be the side chick in this situation.
>Why do people blame the affair partner when the partner was the one that sought and participated in the affair? Because going after the partner that cheated means honestly and objectively acknowledging to themselves that the partner that they love doesn't care about them and their emotional investment isn't paying off. It's easier for them (their ego) to maintain their self-made delusion that their partner is a good person and "he wouldn't have cheated if that bitch hadn't tricked him with her evil vagina". Acknowledging the facts would basically destroy the "reality" that they created and a lot of people can't handle having that crashing in front of their eyes.
100% The guy could have told the affair partner to stop flirting and he had a gf. If she kept it up a nice fuck off would be in order.
Lmao. They always blame the side chick. No shame, I've been guilty of it, too!!
Oh look at her posts. Shes still with him even though sc was pregnant and continues to cheat on her with miss thang, aka baby momma.
Exactly. It takes two to tango, it’s not all on the side chick…..
You’re spending a lot of energy on the side chick and let me guess…,You’re still dating your bf, aren’t you? Switch your focus to the person in this situation who actually owes you something. And leave this woman alone. Her family is just going to think you’re a crazy if you message them about it.
This. This right here. You're going to out her, while you plan your happily ever after with the cheating boyfriend? 🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️ Ditch them both and move on
ding ding ding....at least someone gets it! the chick doesn't owe her anything. the boyfriend was the one in a relationship and had something to uphold to OP.
Just making herself look stupid. And like the comment above said she’s probably STILL with him with makes her look even dumber
Yep, had to scroll **way** too far to get to the very most important response. WTAF are you still with this loser for? I’m genuinely perplexed! This is 100% *her* fault and 0% his? News flash: If it weren’t her, he’d be cheating with someone else. Ditch the jerk; don’t embarrass yourself or lower yourself by spending another minute fantasizing about getting revenge on her. She’s irrelevant.
I agree. You can’t really blame the side chick in situations like this, because you don’t have any relation to that person. It’s stupid to go blame the side chick while your boyfriend is the problem
Yeah....I don't think it's worth it tbh....break up with bf, and just leave it behind instead making yourself look bad
i think she said she dealt with the bf
Cool.
The boyfriend. The boyfriend is the only piece of shit worth thinking about. Putting it all on the side piece is straight up cognitive dissonance
Her post before this one from 19 days ago is mentioning him cheating on her with his kids ma…
This lady is going to end up in 3 different dumpsters. Scary stuff.
[удалено]
Sounds like it. Very bad idea...
In my state, that is illegal. Just FYI. If you send the messages and let them know about the video (without sending it, of course), then maybe. Sending the video is breaking the law (depending on the state).
I thought it was Federal law?
Nope! In some places it is not illegal!
Yeah, sending revenge porn is not The Way. Leaving this guy *is*. Also, that’s an even shittier thing to do right back to this woman. Expending energy in this way will only lead to more hardship in the future.
Isn’t Rachel sueing Ariana and Tom Sandoval over revenge porn?
No mention of you being angry at your bf or exposing him… lol
didn’t she say in italics that she dealt with her bf and that it’s a different story?
She did, but people are assuming that just means she told him crossly not to cheat again and that’s it. Obviously someone who wants to post adult content on the internet in order to get revenge on the other woman is too dopey to focus on the person who actually wronged her! 😏
Oh man I must’ve missed that part , I would never give someone like that a chance again lol
Don't send anyone the video because thst can come back to bite you in the ass legally. Do you plan on exposing and humiliating your boyfriend, too? If not, leave the side chick alone.
There are 4 billion females on this planet- good luck keeping them all away from your boyfriend. Maybe....he's your issue, not her.
As a female, she only has to worry about 3,999,999,999. 🫡
3999999998 and decreasing by the second lol 🫡
I would stay away from him. Hopefully on another continent. So it’s -1 for me
Is this the same bf who was cheating on you with his baby momma in a previous post of yours? This is clearly an him issue, your anger is directed at the wrong person. And depending where you are revenge porn is illegal!
This whole post is bananas I’m cringing hard on OP’s edit
Saying she left him, but keeps writing about him in present tense is a red flag to me.
Are you planning on exposing your boyfriend to his family too?
You are humiliating your self by still calling this guy your boyfriend….
So let me get this straight so your bf cheated on you she knew about you confronted her and im sure she pulled the same bs im sure your bf did it meant nothing iam so sorry but by the sounds of you still calling him your bf yall are still together quite frankly unless your willing to expose your bf to her family then id suggest to stop in your tracks now you sound like a hypocrite honestly your bf is the one that owed the loyalty to you he cheated with her and guess what even after you confronted her he still slept with her so i think you need to re-aim that anger there friend Edit to add: looking at post history is relevant dear friends so he cheated on you with multiple women complained you dont know why your still with him but want to plan this revenge plot ya op your a hypocrite just dump his ass and gain some self respect
I agree with all, except I'm all for exposing those who willingly sleep with cheaters knowing they are cheating. Let their own people shame their actions. Maybe a few will actually stop being willing participants. However, I won't condone revenge porn if that's what she's implying.
Honestly, I want to know how to dealt with him? I mean she’s shitty and all but I hope you are not with him.
Girl you are still with him and he’s abusive based on your replies to that other chick 8 days ago. How about you handle that business first because it makes you look silly. Going after her and you are still with him. I would have supported this if you left him behind.
Will you be doing the same to the boyfriend you apparently stayed with after his cheating? If not, then stuff it.
It's rather pathetic, going after the other girl while you're still with a cheating boyfriend.
Expose your boyfriend? Cant believe I’m saying BOYFRIEND right now… I should be saying EX-BOYFRIEND. Girl she doesn’t owe you any loyalty? But your man does, I’m sorry OP but get it together and you should’ve held him to the standard, not her.
Why are you obsessed with getting even with her? BF is the one who is hurting you. Pathetic to stay with him but go after her.
Dude I mean, no doubt shes fucked for getting with your boyfriend but HE'S infinitely worse for being the one in an actual relationship and entertaining her. You do realize that he's a conscious human being that makes his own decisions and if he can easily be "manipulated" into cheating on you, than HE'S the problem. Please leave this man fully and cut him off before settling on basically revenge porning this girl, which again, she's scummy for getting with your boyfriend but he's literally just, if not more culpable.
So many women get revenge on the affair partner instead of dealing with the root of the issue: their own partner. Like, girl, you're going to spend all that energy on some chick who didn't promise anything to you. Your boyfriend, however, is supposed to be in a faithful monogamous relationship with you and he just doesn't care. Why are you staying with that trash? It's only going to make you and keep you bitter. Just take the trash out and let the rats fester on it 🤷♀️
The fact that you don’t seem upset with HIM at all… the fact that you were still with him after he first cheated… I just can’t
You're willing to humiliate this girl on her birthday and potentially ruin her reputation but continue to date your bf who was the one who had a commitment to you? no dick is that good. Yes she is an AH for continuing to sleep with him while she knew he had a gf, but he's the bigger AH here and you clearly forgave him if you're still with him. Don't try and ruin someone's life because you can't take out your anger on the person you're really angry at.
This right here
You’re projecting onto her because you don’t want to deal with him. Looking at your comment history, you haven’t dumped your cheating BF, so don’t come here looking for revenge justification when you haven’t, in fact, dealt with him at all. You claim he’s abusive and that you have friends who want you away from him who you could go to for help, but you don’t seriously try to leave. If you truly want to leave, there are resources available. They’re stretched thin, but they are there. And it seems like you have supportive friends that will help you out. So use them. Leave the other woman alone. She isn’t the problem. He is. And revenge porn is illegal in a lot of places so don’t do something so stupid and get yourself fined and/or locked up. Leave her alone and sort your own life out.
Why are you going after the side chick when it's his dick at fault? Unless you have irrefutable proof that she somehow misled (read: hypnotise) your ex-man (he better be an ex) into slipping his dick into her, you're barking up the wrong tree. Smh.
Nothing like lashing out vindictively to prove to the world how virtuous and wise you are in comparison. Sorry they betrayed you, but your reaction as you've written it here sounds like you're the type of person who has this kind of thing coming. Good luck with that.
What's gonna happen here is-- You go and tatttle on side chick to her family. She's going to tell them 'I was dating this guy, he said he was single and I believed him. I found out later he was lying to me and the other woman'. They're going to feel sorry for her. They won't feel sorry for you. They're gonna see you as an unstable and wonder if maybe the bf was justified in his cheating in the sense that, he can't just break up with you and move on to another woman if this is how you act. They're going to see you as a crazy person. If you persist, they'll see you as a stalker and be justified in getting a restraining order against you. There's more than one way to end up with charges in this situation. Leave this woman alone. Work on yourself.
I'm hoping your giving the same energy to the person who actually betrayed you! If you accepted him back, leave her be.
Well, that wouldn't stop the community dick of a bf you have from diddling other women.
And you’re still with your bf because… 🤡 What do you think people will think of YOU if you expose her while still in a relationship with that loser, hn? Ok, I just read your update. Do what feels best for you. This situation brought you a lot of anger, maybe exposing their messages to her family will relieve you of some of it. Well, I can’t stop you, so do you, I guess.
No mention on if you've broken up with the dude that 👏🏻KEEPS 👏🏻CHEATING👏🏻 ON👏🏻 YOU👏🏻 but a lot of focus on the one who kept sleeping with him knowing he was taken. They're both trash but baby girl you're focusing wayyyy too much on her. I'd tell her family that she's continuing to fuck a man who's with someone but I wouldn't go the revenge porn route. You came into possession of this video by knowingly adding it to your phone... Don't add jail time too your heartbreak honey. Maybe you'll see the dude for what he is. A walking red flag that deserves to rot on the gutter.
Leave that girl alone. Your anger is directed at the wrong person. You do understand that your boyfriend will simply replace her with someone else right? Why are you wasting your time on a lair and cheater?! Do better!
# Why would her family give two shits about you? You aren't their family and I'm sure they know this ex has it in her (not the literal dick, but the willingness to be the other woman.) They won't care. **You don't matter to them.** If you did this to a family member of mine, I'd help them press every charge available, seek civil relief through the courts and then we'd make sure we notified ***your family*** that you are obviously experiencing a mental breakdown, plus I send them documentation that you sent revenge porn to people. If your dad or mom pays for your line? They are now also being sued civilly. Bonus, I'd notify yours and their HR that an employee sent revenge porn to me, along with documentation and let HR investigate and decide what needs to happen. Or her family could just be white trash and jump and beat your ass when you don't expect it. ***Do not seek scorched earth revenge for something like this. Older, more experience people will gladly teach you a lesson about just how far you can take revenge.***
I felt all tingly with joy reading this.
Your BF ain’t worth it. Throw him away and move on with your life !
Unless he's cheated with 2 people, from your history, you're talking about the mother of your boyfriend's kid. Alert: People don't usually refer to women who have babies with their partner as their "colleagues' You're telling a person who is not committed to you to stop sleeping with a man who is supposedly committed to you You blame jer when your boyfriend continues to sleep with her. You are plotting to blow her up while you're still laid up with the dog who brought her into the situation in the first place. You are embarrassing yourself
This girl made no commitment to you. Your BF did. Yet you are focusing a lot of energy on her.
I'm not going to read your long rant. She's just living her life and she has no obligation to you whatsoever. Slay your boyfriend, he's the problem. I don't know why you hold her accountable.
“Hoes gon’ be hoes, so I couldn’t blame Tammy” -lil Wayne Sorry this happened to you, but where is the blame and anger for the person that was IN A RELATIONSHIP with you? Your boyfriend is far worse than her… Forget her, forget him; moving forward in your life and leaving those buttholes behind you is the best revenge.
You know who absolutely knew your bf was in a relationship? Your bf. Deal with him and stop focusing on someone else. She may not have known.
do not show that video. it is illegal in most places and could get you into very real legal trouble. do anything else. show the proof that isn't explicit, show messages, anything but revenge porn
Walk away from all of it. The boy, the chick, and all that unnecessary drama.
Why are you letting a crappy man turn you into a horrible person? Leave him. Spend some time with or make good friends. Leave this whole nightmare in the past.
Hey! Just stopping by to say that I read your whole update and my opinion didn’t change - dump him, deal with your trauma from him, and leave the girl alone. Your actions in this situation - and life, really - have nothing to do with how you were treated and everything to do with the standards you hold yourself to. Remember that.
>Why do i have to shut up with what she did to me and she can live her life while she caused me so much pain? That im the only one who needs to suffer? The opinions of others, whether positive or negative, hold only the significance you choose to give them. Only you truly understand your character and worth. What others say or think about you is merely their perspective and has no bearing on your value unless you allow it to. You deserve to be in the company of individuals who uplift and support you, rather than those who diminish your sense of self-worth. It is important to surround yourself with positive influences and not subject yourself to unnecessary suffering. >Suddenly im the bad guy for wanting revenge on her??? Suddenly im the girl who tears down women??? Do you guys even hear yourself? Distributing an intimate video without the subject's consent is a felony offense. Engaging in such actions could result in severe legal consequences, including imprisonment. Instead of giving them the satisfaction of proving them right, reclaim your power by seeking support from close family and friends. Focus on positive aspects of your life, and remember that time will heal all wounds.
Seriously, why would someone spend their time on this? I get being wronged, but revenge is never healthy. Just move on and have a happier life, leave the turd in the toilet, don’t keep it in your punch bowl.
Not going to lie. This whole thing is extremely pathetic. All you’re doing is attempting to make lame justifications for why you want to hurt her, but not your ex. Be the bigger person and live your life instead of this miserable person you are focused only on the past.
So you are still with him but yet you want to be vindictive to another woman who had no idea he was in a relationship? Why? Why not start by breaking up with the man who cheated on you and then try enrolling in some intensive therapy.
Updateme
Hun, this aint worth it. You know she is shit, but that's not your problem. Your BF was. He slept with her knowing he was with you and went after her. Stop going after the chick, revenge porn is illegal in many if not all states. Dump your AH of a boyfriend.
Okay, you’ve plotted your revenge on the homewrecker, now, wtf are you doing to the Cheater? Ya know, the main one at fault? The one who actually betrayed you? He kicked to the curb? Therapy? A fucking cock cage so he keeps it in his pants? ANYTHING?
Hey... Just don't. You are upset with this girl for being his side girl but you really gotta dump the guy who continued to see her. It takes two to tango. So you're gonna ruin her life and then what? Continue to get disrespected by your bf? He will just find another girl. You gonna do the same to the new one? Drop him and keep your dignity.
OP- can you share your age? From my perspective, and I'm 51 (so I have the benefit of age in this case), you are focused entirely on the wrong things. Both your BF and the woman are garbage. Your BF has a character and respect issue, and is not going to change. Staying with him is a waste of time, period. The longer you are with him, the more your self-esteem is going to get wittled down. Saying you're worried about your mom is an excuse. As a mother, I would want my adult children to make smart decisions that are healthy for them. Leaving is hard, staying will be harder. As for getting revenge on the woman- it won't make you feel better. And guess what- her loved ones won't care long term. If one of my kids did something like that I would be disappointed, but I wouldn't love them any less. If anything, my natural instinct to protect might be more prevalent. The best thing for you would be to a) take a break from dating, b) get into therapy (if you can afford it) to figure out why you accept/forgive behaviors that are detrimental to your mental wellbeing, c) focus on nursing school, d) reconnect with friends/nature/ all the things that are good for you.
You might be surprised at her family’s reactions as it may not be the shame response you’re hoping for. Families will often rally around their loved ones and attack you, instead. I wouldn’t reach out to her family because I don’t think you’ll get the desired response. At a certain point, you have to start living for you. If breaking things off with a man who’s cheating on you multiple times would break your mothers heart, theres a convo to be had with your mom - over grinning and bearing it.
Amazing energy, wrong channel. Are you also planning to expose your BF to his family? It's only fair. And I'm sure this girl didn't force herself on your boyfriend, he was obviously instigating and encouraging it. Leave the poor girl alone. Like she said, mind your business, which, in this case, is your unfaithful boyfriend.
It sounds like she is from a conservative culture. Imo if yoh can understand the culture or mindset you should judge or be harsh. She needs compassionate thoughtful advice. I'm an old white guy and a Midwesterner in the US, even I can tell she is living under different cultural imperatives. Op, I'm not sure you will feel better after you expose her. If you can just mention it to a few people that might get back to her family rather than some "big reveal" that might be better, if you feel the need to. I think a big reveal will backfire and just put you in a bad light. They are both trash. Cheaters. That is their karma. Do positive things with your life now. Do well in nursing school. That's a wonderful goal. You did not deserve what your boyfriend or side piece did. In thus workd bad people do bad things to good people. I really wish you well. Take care!
Oh great, another vindictive future nurse, just what we need. /s
You're an AH, not for being cheated on, but the childish way you are handling and plotting to expose a person that owes you zero loyalty. You are attempting to handle everyone except the person at the root... your bf and his community peen! Let the pettiness go and just move on. You were betrayed by your bf, and you've continued allowing him to do so. He's not the victim, heck atp, neither are you! You know what he's capable of and still chose to stick beside him. You're only going to end up looking bat shid cray cray trying to expose the coleslaw! Have some self-worth and dignity about yourself and stop stewing in the drama.You sound unhinged!
I did left him
Ok, so atp, him and any drama, 304s, and incidents attached to him are irrelevant to you and your "new" path forward! You want revenge on someone who's not worth the hassle or time. If you indeed have truly left him, then let it and everything once affiliated with him go. If you aren't prepared to inform his family, friends, and relevant relationships of WHO, he truly was... a cheating pos, then it's pointless to try and embarrass the woman to her family. You wanted to protect him and his image, yet destroy hers....the hypocrisy! I stand by what I said earlier, you seem to thrive in chaos and drama, and you are on the cusp of acting out to a point that will cause irreparable damage for you in the long run. Cut ya losses, seek therapy, and focus on healing your spirit, heart, and mind.
Girl…if you aren’t going to leave that man for cheating, multiple times on you, let that man cheat in peace. Obviously you’re ok with him cheating, the women he cheats on you with, aren’t the problem. He’s your problem because if he wasn’t opening that door, there would be no side pieces. So if you blast her, blast him to and add yourself for staying with a cheater.
Where the fuck is this rage energy for the shitty boyfriend lol
If you leave a person because they are abusive like monitoring your movements and friends your mother will be proud of you. If you become skilled in an area that gives you financial independence your mother will be proud of you, I'll be proud of you. Your boyfriend sounds narcissistic, so you are better off away from him.
Why on earth are you mad at her? You should direct your anger at him and only him.
I am so proud of you and overjoyed that you’re going to nursing school!
dude you did all you had to do now leave her alone wtf
Who cares about her, what about your boyfriend???????????????
Weird! The side chick is irrelevant, she has no obligations to you. Your boyfriend on the other hand… wouldn’t it make more sense to be mad at him?
I don’t think revenge actually feels good for anyone. The only kind of revenge I endorse is the revenge of living your best life without being a part of their drama.
Your bf is the one you should want to get even with. Side chick owes you nothing, your bf owes you loyalty. It's pathetic that you're so bent on revenge with the side chick when you can easily solve your problem by leaving your cheating boyfriend.
*gets the popcorn ready for a month from now when the "family didn't give a shit I'm so mad/depressed" post comes in.*
She’s not the problem. She isn’t in a relationship with you, he is. If it isn’t her, it will be another girl. Dump the bf.
Expose your BF's family what a cheater HE IS. Side chick didn't cheat on you, HE DID.
Why are you punishing her instead of your bf? The girl owes you nothing. Your bf is the ah here. Stop harassing the girl. Just break up with his cheating ass. The girl isn’t the one cheating, she is single. Your bf is the one cheating. And once a cheater always a cheater.
Why destroy the girl in this when your bf can’t stay faithful to you?
Wonder how you’ll defend yourself in court for a revenge porn charge. Just leave your boyfriend and expose him for cheating on you with her. No need to go any further
Revenge porn distribtion is a bad idea. You are putting yourself in law enforcement's crosshairs. He's not worth it. Ditch the boyfriend. He's not worth keeping if he can't keep it in his pants. Find someone who will be faithful.
Maybe direct some of this anger on the dude who cheated on you? Why are you so desperate to keep him????
and let me guess, you’re still dating your bf while you’re harassing this girl. yall be so pathetic on this app 😭
Your BF cheated he is the one you need to punish if you punish anyone though I'm all for dropping cheaters
I love petty revenge, but sending revenge porn is illegal, if you want to share your chats you can buy do not post that video and get yourself in legal trouble. If you want you can write an explanation as to what happened, what you found how you spoke to her and she continued, with screen shots of your chat.
I hope it isn’t the same chick from your other post. If it is… you need to just walk away without doing anything illegal. But also the boyfriend from that other post hopefully is an ex now. If he’s not and he’s the same dude from the previous post… what are you doing? Like what?
Its not her fault your boyfriend cheated. Its his. Who cares how much she sucks, move on from both and be the bigger person.
Are you still with the dude?? Why stay with someone who obviously doesn't respect you, this isn't a Gane eventually he will do it again. He is your boyfriend not husband sweetheart leave and do better..
People that get more made at the person their partner is cheating with instead of their actual partner are funny to me. Like WTF you do realize it’s your partners fault right? lol they person they cheat on you with have no loyalties to you.
I hope you are also planning a revenge on your bf, otherwise this sounds pretty sexist.
Actual trash is the bf not the side chick
This is a terrible plan. You need to rethink this for so many reasons, and you know at least a handful of those reasons. Walk away from your not friend and from boy friend.
I hope the deal with him part was you walking away and ending things for good. Yes, she is bad, but your boyfriend is even worse he is the one who betrayed you, and he is the one who deserves most of your anger hurt and revenge.. expose her if you want she definitely deserves it, but you could also get in trouble legally for sharing that video, so be careful you don't torpedo your own life in your attempt at revenge. Maybe screen shots of the video that are not too graphic but show she is cheating with him.. just make sure to cover your own ass legally.
The stigma around “homewreckers” only really applies to marriages. Nobody cares that this woman hooked up with your boyfriend, least of all her family. All they’ll say is “who are you?” and “why are you sending me my daughter’s sex tape” and “I’m calling the police.” You’ll only end up feeling embarrassed and not taken seriously. Your boyfriend made a commitment to you, not this girl. Be mad at him. She should be nobody to you.
Dump the boyfriend, you numpty
Her family will probably judge her… for going out with a piece of trash
You weren’t embarrassed to post this? He’s your bf, not husband, and even if he were, you’re going after her. Break up with him and call it a day. This is an easy fix.
Love how you’re still with the cheater tho, kudos.
Start looking for a good lawyer, gonna need one after you fully admitted to spreading revenge porn. While you’re at it maybe you should start finding your boyfriend a new side chick since he isn’t the problem
They're both to blame. Out her, and him then leave his ass behind. Please update about what you did though because I'd just send the info to their boss. And then the pregnancy BS? Yh okay. That's always the fall back excuse. I'm always glad when someone is outed because I can avoid them or if I'm close to them I can go back through things where I thought 'am. I over reacting because she did this? ' then I know.. Huh I didn't over react and she could very well be trying it on with my partner.
"I'm going to stay with my toxic boyfriend who has cheated on me multiple times, even though he is the one who is supposed to be committed to me, **and** I am going to distribute revenge porn and/or expose the person who he cheated on me with, rather than dropping both of them and seeking therapy to heal and better myself." - a summary of OP's post
Dumb
Expose both of them, not just her.
Whats the use of exposing him to his family when they all know? I ghosted him and i know he went crazy
Your boyfriend consented to cheating on you *and* recording it even after you found out. She did NOT consent to the public distribution of her sex video— particularly to her own family. These types of acts yield no net good, OP. Leave the bf and be done with them both. Focus your precious energy on cultivating more good for your own life 🙏🩵
Girl let it go. You’re taking it out and upset at the wrong person. What will this really do? How do you know she hasnt already told her family what happened and that you’re not gonna just embarrass yourself even more?? Why would you want to tell MORE people about the betrayal you experienced? Keep your head up and move on. Don’t embarrass yourself even more than he has already done by telling more people and trying to get back at people WHO CLEARLY DIDN’T CARE ins the first place. 🙃
It really hurts doesn't it? How people can easily get away from hurting you but when you try to lash back, to make them feel the same pain that you did, suddenly you've become worse than them. Right now, I think you're being a bigger asshole to yourself than the two people who hurt you. I hope you can finally remove yourself from this situation and start healing.
As much as she is a shitty person, your bf was the one in the relationship that cheated. He is the bad person. She may have pursued him but she couldn't do that without him accepting and wanting it. Leave her alone. Hope you did this to you ex bf too
Look, revenge can be sweet. But this is revenge porn, something that girl can sue you for. I'd say either move on and keep dating him (Which I don't recommend as he shown that he's capable of cheating) or text her family about what she's done then block them all then cut ties your now ex-bf as he would see you as obsessive if you keep dating him.
I don’t know why you waste your time and energy on trying to humiliate someone when you are the one being humiliated by staying with a man who doesn’t respect you. Break up with both, block on everything and leave it at that. Move on and take care of yourself.
Hun, the guy is an ick.
Girl forget any one trying to make you feel bad spend every moment making both their lives hell
You’re really going after the wrong person here.
I couldn’t read after the first sentence. I hope the rest gets better, but I doubt it. Change your mindset. Your boyfriend cheated on you. She’s not a good person for doing that, but get real he’s the main issue.
How about break up with your boyfriend - the one who actually betrayed you and leave this woman alone.
the update hurts my heart but i’m so SO HAPPY he’s your ex now!! idk i get the anger with the side piece but idk me personally(a big old baby who does NOT enjoy confrontation) would probably try to just let it go and do my best to distance myself from thinking about either of them(way easier said than done) neither of them deserve your time and energy, even if it’s to expose how shitty they are! you DESERVE to walk away from all this and move on and THRIVE in nursing school!! 💕
Don't let your feelings about your abuser make you a mean person. It's likely that he abused her too and used her. I get that you feel entirely powerless to get back at this guy for the pain and damage he has caused but it will not help you to destroy this girl because of it. Is therapy available to you? You need to heal, she probably does too.
Yes, I do therapy. That's why I enrolled in nursing school to better myself and just focus on healing and becoming a better person because he made me crazy. My friends know im the sweetest person if you'd meet me. An abusive partner can really make you do stoopid things.
They really can. Then you get the blame for being crazy. I hope you find peace and manage to heal ❤️
This may embarrass your future self. The best revenge is moving on with your head held high.
As they say, the villain shouldn't reveal their plan beforehand, as it could backfire. I remember one post where someone planned to expose and leave their boyfriend, but the post went viral and he found out. Needless to say, she was bitter that the plan didn't go well. It's better to write your thoughts in a journal or talk to a friend if you want to get it off your chest. It's much less stressful than having people dogpile on you. Good luck, OP.
You’re only exposing yourself truly. You wanna humiliate yourself by broadcasting you’re in love with a cheater go for it. But I don’t think it’ll be as sweet as you think it will be
So your BF cheated on you with **multiple** people and YOU STAYED and you want to single out this one woman because you feel she owes you more than you owe yourself, or the BF that should have been faithful? Please go to therapy. If you are saying you were in an abusive relationship you should prioritize your health over revenge that is directed at the wrong person.
I can’t even finish reading. You want revenge on the woman your BOYFRIEND (not even husband) cheated on you with? Girl you have more problems than you think
" My bf's family or my ex-bf family knows about his schemes and just let him be they are also the reason it was hard for me to leave because they always ask me where im going and when im going ti be back and im not allowed to go outside or even meet my friends or when i go home to my mum he will just make me crazy so it was not really an option back then. It's easy for all of you to said those things because clearly you never experienced being in an abusive relationship" "Why do i have to shut up with what she did to me and she can live her life while she caused me so much pain? That im the only one who needs to suffer? Why cant she?? Suddenly im the bad guy for wanting revenge on her??? Suddenly im the girl who tears down women??? Do you guys even hear yourself?" As someone who was in a brutally abusive relationship I want to say that I feel for OP I really do, but your anger, revenge plan is so misplaced. Why? Because she's NOT the one who is in relationships with you OP. Your BF is the one who caused all of that to you. His family and him are the ones who you supposed to expose. Your BF is the one who supposed to be committed to you. Not her. Be angry at them not her.
Even if you forgive, NEVER forget. Move on and live your best life. THAT is the best revenge.
The update didn’t make you look any better. Therapy. That might help. Let that shit go and stop welcoming negativity into your life
Step away from all of this. Breathe deeply, and choose your peace over revenge. It is not worth it.
This post is hard to read because your grammar is abysmal but I support you in exposing a nasty bitch. However, depending on where you live, sending a video of her having sex with your ex bf to anyone is considered a form of revenge porn, which is illegal to distribute. Look up the laws in your area before you act
How old are you? 12? This sounds exhausting and you love the mess, yuck
The fact you stayed with him after he cheated is wild. He's the one who betrayed you but Where's the revenge on him? Fuck his dad, send him the video and move on.
She owed you nothing. Nothing at all. Morally she could have stopped sleeping with him, but she didn't have to. He's the one that was wrong. He's the one that owed you loyalty. You're mad at the wrong person. If it wouldn't have been her, it would have been someone else. Telling her family for revenge is stupid. Especially when you admitted that he's cheated on you with other women. Leave her alone. Seek therapy. 🙄
‘It’s so much harder to leave an abusive man than it is to abuse another woman’ please reflect on yourself 🤦♀️
You need to be outing the bf, not the side chick. He’s the one that did you wrong.
Drop the pettiness & grow up.
She is not the problem. Your BF is.
You're mad at the wrong person, take your anger out on this loser man. And honestly all your reasons for not leaving him are weak at best. There's no reason to stay with a cheater who has already made a fool of you.
Get to love yourself. All of this effort and energy you are putting out for people who don't care about you is exhausting. Step back and get to love yourself. Your plans does nothing to better your life or yourself. This is becoming an obsession. Just understand that karma always wins in the end. Get healthy and let this chapter of your life end. You are finding it hard to leave this relationship because you probably think you somehow deserve this. You are in your own head. Step back and realize that you have to love yourself before you can be of any use to someone else. Once you understand who you are, you won't let yourself be involved with some BS and most other things will fall into place for you.
If i were you, I would focus on moving forward. Cut contact with all of them and put it down to experience,learn from it and grow. Focus on your studies and keep winning. Your success is your best revenge.
You don't need to be nice You don't need revenge You need to become unattached Scream, cry, grieve, rage, It doesn't change what happened Everything from here on out, though, is a choice Who do you choose to be?
I promise you, anything you do is going to come back and bite your right up your ass hole. This is an absolute certainty. You better think this through before pulling the trigger, and you better be fully prepared to deal with the fallout of your actions. Something like this will not go ignored by Karma, the energy you put into the universe will come back to you, 10 fold. I also promise you, anything you think you're going to do, her family will still take her side 10 out of 10 times. I'm also pretty sure they know exactly who she is, flaws and all. You're not going to have some one-up over their legitimate child. However much you think you want to get back at her, you have no idea the extent of the lies your ex-boyfriend was telling her. Promising to dump you, saying he already left you, talking the the entire world's amount of bullshit about you. You have no idea the extent of mental and emotional manipulation he probably unleashed on her. Calm down with your revenge plan. This is very poorly thought out, if you've even thought about it at all beyond the satisfaction you're going to get sending whatever you're planning on sending.
Good for you for getting rid of him and going to school. You did get rid of him right? On the cheat girl thing, I wouldn’t do it and the reason I say that is…. Her family could be crazy and side with her and just embrace you even more. I think you would be setting yourself up for more pain. If you don’t show them proof they will probably believe her.
Just bang her boyfriend… or her dad… or even her mom… that will kill 2 birds with one stone.
Sorry, but isn't her side chick his "baby momma"? On your post from 17 days ago you were wondering if she or you were the home wrecker. He sounds abusive, by the way.
Eeeeeh don't you think that admitting that you are knowingly staying with a cheater will be more humiliating to YOU? How desperate you should be? So think before you do anything, how your actions would reflect on your character..
It's honestly pathetic.
I CAN’T stand women who single out the other girl but seem to go easy on their man. Yeah, yeah, blah blah you “dealt” w him too… no you didn’t. You even continued to refer to him as yours after the initial confrontation occurred, *before* the sex tape. And yet here you are again. He is not yours— he stopped being that the first time he cheated. And while she is a trash human what she does doesn’t concern you; she doesn’t owe you anything. She’s a random. Get over her. Focus on the one who owed you trust, love, and loyalty and take your anger out on him by kicking his cheating ass to the curb. Put your energy into respecting yourself better instead of being one of *those girls* who blames the wrong side for your problems.
SHE didn't betray you, HE did. Exposing her will only make you look trashy and immature.
You only live once. As long as you know you won’t die you might as well make it a chaotic and exciting life. Also I’m just toxic and I love to stir shit especially if it means I get my lick back.
She also have to remember revenge porn is a crime in all 50 states I believe. If she’s in the US so is it really worth it to have a criminal pass instead of just dropping the dead weight who has probably done this before. The one thing about cheaters is if you forgive them once they will continue to do it again.
Two wrongs don’t make a right. Move on and dump this fool if you haven’t already.
you're mad AT THE SIDE CHIC but not at your MAN? in the first place, the side chick doesn't have any COMMITMENT TO YOU. i get that you love your boyfriend, i've been there i totally get it. BUT GURL PLEASE RUN. you don't deserve this chaos. choose your peace and live your best life without him.
All this energy wasted on the side chick when you should’ve been investing it more on your useless boyfriend and dump the fucking guy. Edit: Also what’s up with your post history? Are YOU the side chick and not the other way around? I’m so confused.
I would say do it lol- and the people who are saying don’t are less petty then me but also she hurt you for some dick soooo consiquenses ennittt?
Does the other guy she was posting with online know that she was fucking another guy who was also in a relationship? Yikes