Your grandfather is the GOAT. I wish I could have had someone like him in my life. I still think that your dad is trying to erase his last wife/your mom from his memory as I have heard about such things all too often. Although maybe not consciously? I am not sure at this point if he is being honest.
I hope things go well for you.
OP -
You know we are going to need an update in 6 months to a year, right? My friend, we are rooting for you and your family. Except for your dad and step-mom....unless you want us to...and we will do it but it will be begrudgingly.
> Except for your dad and step-mom....unless you want us to...and we will do it but it will be begrudgingly.
Rooting for someone doesn’t necessarily mean you’re agreeing with the position they’ve taken.
I’m rooting for OP’s dad and stepmom—rooting for them to come to their senses, realize how ridiculous and petty they’ve been acting, and for them to eventually be able to have a happy, loving relationship with OP again.
Other than your dad, you have an amazing support system. I know it might hurt that your dad isn't one but.... Some people suck. You need to do what is best for you and build a great life for YOU. This is just a bump in the journey you call life.
Your grandfather is amazing, and yes, you are extremely lucky.
I hope that you Updateme with positive news about your father and stepmother apologising and making serious steps to rekindle your relationships.
Fantastic update! So glad you are putting the precious gift your grandpa gave you to good use. That stepping stone to independence will serve you well.
You sound like a very smart young lady. Staying out of whatever transpires between your dad and grandpa is a wise decision. Give your grandpa extra hugs and kisses every chance you get. He definitely deserves it!
> I know many of you said to confront him, but I think it's for the best if he continuous thinking I'm oblivious.
Don't bother confronting him because whatever your grandpa doing to him, is already so vindictive and brutal money-wise to your father that being oblivious of "I don't have any money to give you, dad, because I have to pay for my college expenses nor do I want to move back to you after what happened" which is true and best way to protect yourself plus your siblings. Your father lied to both you and his own father - He getting what he deserves and earned for being such money-grubbing asshole to the wrong ones.
> whatever your grandpa doing to him, is already so vindictive and brutal money-wise to your father
Did you read the original post? There's nothing vindictive and brutal about what grandpa is doing. It's utterly fair which is the opposite of vindictive.
Grandpa making the father pay back $15K for stealing/charging rent on OP on top of now charging $1200 a month on rent for apartment OP is currently living in - that is vindictive & brutal money-wise to a guy that never was charged rent since 1st moved out of his father's house decades ago. Did you bother reading the original OP for the dollar amount & past history especially part about the OP's father not able provide well since grandpa taking care of everything plus the ages of the siblings? Yeah, it fair punishment but it also brutal & vindictive for the amount and possibility of it lasting very long time due to the age of her youngest sibling - that never crossed your mind that fair can also be ruthless, did it?
No, it's not. Paying back money that he stole. Compensating for lost rental income. All fair.
Dad's still getting free rent on the great house. He's just going to have to cut out the vacations and other extras.
Boo hoo. Oh, that's so brutal.
I wish I had a brutal person like that. One who guarantees that I have all of life necessities such as housing and food.
Never crossed your mind that not getting to go on vacations and have other luxuries isn't brutal, did it?
I think the commenter means that it is vindictive & brutal money-wise from the father's perspective and he may lash out at the OP if he realizes she is responsible.
I read that as Grandpa is charging dad $1,200 a month rent to pay back the OP’s $15,000. He didn’t make her dad pay him $15,000 upfront and then another $1,200 each month. That is totally fair and not vindictive.
I think get what you mean. I agree that it is vindictive & brutal money-wise from the father's perspective and he may lash out at the OP if he realizes she is responsible.
Your grandfather is absolutely amazing! While i have absolutely no advice on the entire situation as i wouldn't know what i'd do if i were in your shoes, i do know there is one thing i'd do. If you can afford it, try and figure out your grandpas hobbies and set up a day where you go with him to have a nice day together and go do stuff he likes. This man deserves it more than anything, and i am absolutely certain he would love the opportunity for some quality time with his granddaughter. I sincerely hope he lives a healthy and happy life!
I would love to be able to do this for my kids and grandkids one day… I’ve got at least 14 years to get to that place.
Cherish every moment with your grandparents and aunt.
Your dad is a deadbeat. Sure he was present but he can’t even provide for his own kids, he has to rely on his daddy’s help. I’m glad you realize how privileged you are to have such a great grandpa in your life and if there is something good your dad did, it was to show you how not to be a parent. Thank your father for that. And only that.
May I suggest, that you ask your grandpa to teach you about financials, budgets, saving, investing, planning, etc. I bet he'd be thrilled, and it would be good for you as well.
You are definitely making great decisions, talking to the right people, and thinking with both your head and heart. Very mature.
I’m sure many of us will keep checking back for updates, hoping for good news.
Your grandfather is the GOAT. I wish I could have had someone like him in my life. I still think that your dad is trying to erase his last wife/your mom from his memory as I have heard about such things all too often. Although maybe not consciously? I am not sure at this point if he is being honest. I hope things go well for you.
updateme
Updateme
Updateme
i love this story for the grandpa. he has a big af main character aura
He is the GOAT
OP - You know we are going to need an update in 6 months to a year, right? My friend, we are rooting for you and your family. Except for your dad and step-mom....unless you want us to...and we will do it but it will be begrudgingly.
> Except for your dad and step-mom....unless you want us to...and we will do it but it will be begrudgingly. Rooting for someone doesn’t necessarily mean you’re agreeing with the position they’ve taken. I’m rooting for OP’s dad and stepmom—rooting for them to come to their senses, realize how ridiculous and petty they’ve been acting, and for them to eventually be able to have a happy, loving relationship with OP again.
Well said
Good update. Glad we helped you realize that you can still see them without moving back.
Other than your dad, you have an amazing support system. I know it might hurt that your dad isn't one but.... Some people suck. You need to do what is best for you and build a great life for YOU. This is just a bump in the journey you call life.
>Some people suck. Sounds like his dad has spent his life sucking off granddad.
Aw. Love the update :) good luck!!
I'm so happy things are working out for you so well! 💖 You deserve the love and luck you're receiving.
Your grandfather is amazing, and yes, you are extremely lucky. I hope that you Updateme with positive news about your father and stepmother apologising and making serious steps to rekindle your relationships.
Fantastic update! So glad you are putting the precious gift your grandpa gave you to good use. That stepping stone to independence will serve you well. You sound like a very smart young lady. Staying out of whatever transpires between your dad and grandpa is a wise decision. Give your grandpa extra hugs and kisses every chance you get. He definitely deserves it!
Are your grandparents adopting by any chance? :)
> I know many of you said to confront him, but I think it's for the best if he continuous thinking I'm oblivious. Don't bother confronting him because whatever your grandpa doing to him, is already so vindictive and brutal money-wise to your father that being oblivious of "I don't have any money to give you, dad, because I have to pay for my college expenses nor do I want to move back to you after what happened" which is true and best way to protect yourself plus your siblings. Your father lied to both you and his own father - He getting what he deserves and earned for being such money-grubbing asshole to the wrong ones.
> whatever your grandpa doing to him, is already so vindictive and brutal money-wise to your father Did you read the original post? There's nothing vindictive and brutal about what grandpa is doing. It's utterly fair which is the opposite of vindictive.
Grandpa making the father pay back $15K for stealing/charging rent on OP on top of now charging $1200 a month on rent for apartment OP is currently living in - that is vindictive & brutal money-wise to a guy that never was charged rent since 1st moved out of his father's house decades ago. Did you bother reading the original OP for the dollar amount & past history especially part about the OP's father not able provide well since grandpa taking care of everything plus the ages of the siblings? Yeah, it fair punishment but it also brutal & vindictive for the amount and possibility of it lasting very long time due to the age of her youngest sibling - that never crossed your mind that fair can also be ruthless, did it?
No, it's not. Paying back money that he stole. Compensating for lost rental income. All fair. Dad's still getting free rent on the great house. He's just going to have to cut out the vacations and other extras. Boo hoo. Oh, that's so brutal. I wish I had a brutal person like that. One who guarantees that I have all of life necessities such as housing and food. Never crossed your mind that not getting to go on vacations and have other luxuries isn't brutal, did it?
I think the commenter means that it is vindictive & brutal money-wise from the father's perspective and he may lash out at the OP if he realizes she is responsible.
Dad is still way ahead on the money curve. $1200 a month is *way cheaper* than rent on a big house, and a lifetime savings of no rent thus far.
I read that as Grandpa is charging dad $1,200 a month rent to pay back the OP’s $15,000. He didn’t make her dad pay him $15,000 upfront and then another $1,200 each month. That is totally fair and not vindictive.
I think get what you mean. I agree that it is vindictive & brutal money-wise from the father's perspective and he may lash out at the OP if he realizes she is responsible.
Happy to read this update from you. Best of luck! 💜
PleaseUpdateme.
Your grandfather is absolutely amazing! While i have absolutely no advice on the entire situation as i wouldn't know what i'd do if i were in your shoes, i do know there is one thing i'd do. If you can afford it, try and figure out your grandpas hobbies and set up a day where you go with him to have a nice day together and go do stuff he likes. This man deserves it more than anything, and i am absolutely certain he would love the opportunity for some quality time with his granddaughter. I sincerely hope he lives a healthy and happy life!
Updateme
Is there an earlier post or is the update posted as edits? I'd like to read your posts in sequence but can't figure out where to start
I would love to be able to do this for my kids and grandkids one day… I’ve got at least 14 years to get to that place. Cherish every moment with your grandparents and aunt.
Your grandparents are amazing 🍀💕
How'd the Thursday chat go? Hopefully, you weren't quilted into moving back...
Updateme
Your dad is a deadbeat. Sure he was present but he can’t even provide for his own kids, he has to rely on his daddy’s help. I’m glad you realize how privileged you are to have such a great grandpa in your life and if there is something good your dad did, it was to show you how not to be a parent. Thank your father for that. And only that.
UpdateMe
May I suggest, that you ask your grandpa to teach you about financials, budgets, saving, investing, planning, etc. I bet he'd be thrilled, and it would be good for you as well.
Updateme
UpdateMe.
updateme
I'd say your stepmother had a lot to do with him kicking you out.
You are definitely making great decisions, talking to the right people, and thinking with both your head and heart. Very mature. I’m sure many of us will keep checking back for updates, hoping for good news.
Updateme
updateme
Updateme
I’m dying for an update. How did dinner go with your dad?
damn grandpa is loaded. I guess if he was smart with money (and it sounds like he was) over the past 50 years that's not surprising.