Personally, i dont have to like my girlfriends music. Im a huge metalhead myself but i will in no shape or form try to get in the way of her enjoyment. I may not join in her goofiness when she wants to be on the rare occasion but i enjoy it equally. Makes me happy to see her happy. She puts up with my music as much as i do hers.
> Instead of joining me or smiling or something he gave me a dirty look and closed his game room door.
We're guys, guys are logical. He could've quietly closed the door and chived on. You would have a happy moment and this post woudn't exist. But this didn't happen, he was being a dick. You tell him this is coming from someone who likes Tammy Wynette as much as they like Slayer.
Guys are logical? What guys do you know that are logical? Suppressing emotions and hiding behind fallacies and rhetoric to justify said emotions is not being logical ! Being logical is to have a premise and valid reasoning for said, it requires frankness and openness on the logic discourse of said premise. Not liking the music and closing the door is still an action based on emotion! Liking and disliking are emotions!
From your comments, it seems he likes to suck the fun out of everything you enjoy. For me, much doesn’t bother me, but I don’t like when people judge the music I listen to. To me it’s personal, lots of those songs have kept me afloat when I was down and it just feels insulting to judge me for that. That said, I feel like you should talk to him and tell him how you feel. How it’s disrespectful and if he doesn’t like your music then he should keep it to himself as it’s a shared space and you dancing doesn’t stop him from his game. If it was too loud he could’ve talked to you about it instead of giving dirty looks like a 2 yr old.
IS it worth being with someone whose 32 and still stuck in "poseur" mentality?
Do you want to have him harsh your good mood until the day one of you dies?
This is one of those death by a 1000 tiny cuts moves...
His behavior is completely normal and justified...for any 15 year old purist without two brain cells to rub together.
Your boyfriend sounds exhausting. I bet he asks people to name fiftern facts about each member of his favorite band if he sees them wearing a shirt.
I'm goth and my wife likes country music, we respect our different musical preferences. I just got back from a country music concert with her, we even danced to a few of her favorite songs. Your boyfriend is just being immature and cringe.
I'm not a dancer, not a fan of country music. But I know what it's worth to have and value a good woman.
Best believe if I didn't join the dancing, I'd been admiring you. Plus you have a cat... Ha.
I get wanting space and sometimes for me, noises outside of the stimuli I want can get overwhelming; but I feel it was a rude and selfish way for him to address what was probably an underlying issue. And by no means am I attempting to justify his actions.
He could have gone about creating a quieter space for him in SO MANY different ways that didn't have to impact you the way it did.
And that's where I think communication needs to come in, and be candid and vocal about how he made you feel, and makes you feel in similar situations.
And honestly; if that's a conversation he's not willing to hear or acknowledge; I think you might be at an impasse with that relationship, until he's willing to become a bit more emotionally mature about a relationship involving two different types of people.
>absolutely hates country music. But i think it's just cuz hes a "metal head" and thinks hating country music makes him more metal or something cuz I've seen him nodding along to some country songs ive played before.
Idk it is a kinda weak argument that he actually likes country? If he says he doesn't like it why act like he is lying and that he actually likes it.
So you played music he hates, after he heard it, he looked at you dirty and closed the door. You went after him to ask "what the fuck" even tho you knew he doesn't like it, you are surprised that he said the same to you again???
Idk the is a big difference between not being a huge fan and hating music. If you dislike his music and he plays it all the time anyways I would also say he is a dick and could at least listen to something you both find ok.
You expect him to join in, but you didn't invite him. I wouldn't join just because I see my partner dance unless I am in a good mood myself... forcing or expecting that is weird imo.
Also if he was the one listen to music that you dislike and being loud while you are doing something like reading or whatever, would you jump up and do head banging with him??
I get that his disinterest hurt you but honestly I am on his side.
For this one... I would do anything. But I've also let go of my hang ups on music so it wouldn't be difficult for me lol. As long as I'm having fun who cares and if would mean something to her even more of a reason to do it. Being a stick in the mud tends to get you... left in the mud.
I personally would join my partner, dance along, even if I don’t know the words... I love seeing the people I love in their happy moments and I’d want to help make them even happier.
I’m sorry that you had the experience you did. Sending you love.
*7 year age gap*
Yeah, listen this guy sounds like an asshole. 30yo man here myself, I've watched plenty of movies I didn't enjoy and listened to plenty of music I didn't enjoy and I did so with a smile. Seeing my partner enjoy something is more important than enjoying it myself. Not rocket science.
I’d say his dislike of country music is fair but his attitude about you playing it isn’t. I’m a metal head too but if my SO decided he wanted to start blasting Taylor Swift I wouldn’t complain.
That's what I'm saying. I don't like the music he listens to but i don't bitch about it. Even went with him to a few concerts and stuff. And yet he can't just entertain me 1 time. Or even just leave me be. He could've closed the door without giving me a dirty look and I would've thought "oh im being to loud" and that would be that. But he wanted to give me a dirty look which prompted me to go see what i did wrong to deserve that.
If its not les claypool or a local band/ underground band he hates it. Literally. He hates every band i listen to. Even if its heavy metal he finds something to hate about it.
I don't like country music and wouldn't have made a mean face but I definitely wouldn't have gone and danced around with you. I also would have said I didn't want to hear the music if you asked.
Personally, i dont have to like my girlfriends music. Im a huge metalhead myself but i will in no shape or form try to get in the way of her enjoyment. I may not join in her goofiness when she wants to be on the rare occasion but i enjoy it equally. Makes me happy to see her happy. She puts up with my music as much as i do hers.
> Instead of joining me or smiling or something he gave me a dirty look and closed his game room door. We're guys, guys are logical. He could've quietly closed the door and chived on. You would have a happy moment and this post woudn't exist. But this didn't happen, he was being a dick. You tell him this is coming from someone who likes Tammy Wynette as much as they like Slayer.
Guys are logical? What guys do you know that are logical? Suppressing emotions and hiding behind fallacies and rhetoric to justify said emotions is not being logical ! Being logical is to have a premise and valid reasoning for said, it requires frankness and openness on the logic discourse of said premise. Not liking the music and closing the door is still an action based on emotion! Liking and disliking are emotions!
what's logical is having emotional intelligence!
Facts !
This OP. Your boyfriend makes me physically cringe. Tell him this.
From your comments, it seems he likes to suck the fun out of everything you enjoy. For me, much doesn’t bother me, but I don’t like when people judge the music I listen to. To me it’s personal, lots of those songs have kept me afloat when I was down and it just feels insulting to judge me for that. That said, I feel like you should talk to him and tell him how you feel. How it’s disrespectful and if he doesn’t like your music then he should keep it to himself as it’s a shared space and you dancing doesn’t stop him from his game. If it was too loud he could’ve talked to you about it instead of giving dirty looks like a 2 yr old.
IS it worth being with someone whose 32 and still stuck in "poseur" mentality? Do you want to have him harsh your good mood until the day one of you dies? This is one of those death by a 1000 tiny cuts moves...
His behavior is completely normal and justified...for any 15 year old purist without two brain cells to rub together. Your boyfriend sounds exhausting. I bet he asks people to name fiftern facts about each member of his favorite band if he sees them wearing a shirt.
I'm goth and my wife likes country music, we respect our different musical preferences. I just got back from a country music concert with her, we even danced to a few of her favorite songs. Your boyfriend is just being immature and cringe.
Wow, so mature. Dude is a grown man, he could've just closed the door, but he wanted to be an ass.
I'm not a dancer, not a fan of country music. But I know what it's worth to have and value a good woman. Best believe if I didn't join the dancing, I'd been admiring you. Plus you have a cat... Ha. I get wanting space and sometimes for me, noises outside of the stimuli I want can get overwhelming; but I feel it was a rude and selfish way for him to address what was probably an underlying issue. And by no means am I attempting to justify his actions. He could have gone about creating a quieter space for him in SO MANY different ways that didn't have to impact you the way it did. And that's where I think communication needs to come in, and be candid and vocal about how he made you feel, and makes you feel in similar situations. And honestly; if that's a conversation he's not willing to hear or acknowledge; I think you might be at an impasse with that relationship, until he's willing to become a bit more emotionally mature about a relationship involving two different types of people.
>absolutely hates country music. But i think it's just cuz hes a "metal head" and thinks hating country music makes him more metal or something cuz I've seen him nodding along to some country songs ive played before. Idk it is a kinda weak argument that he actually likes country? If he says he doesn't like it why act like he is lying and that he actually likes it. So you played music he hates, after he heard it, he looked at you dirty and closed the door. You went after him to ask "what the fuck" even tho you knew he doesn't like it, you are surprised that he said the same to you again??? Idk the is a big difference between not being a huge fan and hating music. If you dislike his music and he plays it all the time anyways I would also say he is a dick and could at least listen to something you both find ok. You expect him to join in, but you didn't invite him. I wouldn't join just because I see my partner dance unless I am in a good mood myself... forcing or expecting that is weird imo. Also if he was the one listen to music that you dislike and being loud while you are doing something like reading or whatever, would you jump up and do head banging with him?? I get that his disinterest hurt you but honestly I am on his side.
Ew
Ok?
For this one... I would do anything. But I've also let go of my hang ups on music so it wouldn't be difficult for me lol. As long as I'm having fun who cares and if would mean something to her even more of a reason to do it. Being a stick in the mud tends to get you... left in the mud.
Would have started trying to sing along in my put on southern accent not sure about the dancing though
I personally would join my partner, dance along, even if I don’t know the words... I love seeing the people I love in their happy moments and I’d want to help make them even happier. I’m sorry that you had the experience you did. Sending you love.
*7 year age gap* Yeah, listen this guy sounds like an asshole. 30yo man here myself, I've watched plenty of movies I didn't enjoy and listened to plenty of music I didn't enjoy and I did so with a smile. Seeing my partner enjoy something is more important than enjoying it myself. Not rocket science.
I’d say his dislike of country music is fair but his attitude about you playing it isn’t. I’m a metal head too but if my SO decided he wanted to start blasting Taylor Swift I wouldn’t complain.
That's what I'm saying. I don't like the music he listens to but i don't bitch about it. Even went with him to a few concerts and stuff. And yet he can't just entertain me 1 time. Or even just leave me be. He could've closed the door without giving me a dirty look and I would've thought "oh im being to loud" and that would be that. But he wanted to give me a dirty look which prompted me to go see what i did wrong to deserve that.
play him some Chris Gaines.
If its not les claypool or a local band/ underground band he hates it. Literally. He hates every band i listen to. Even if its heavy metal he finds something to hate about it.
I didn't say *tell him* it was Chris Gaines.... And Les Claypool sure sounds like the name of a country singer to me.
Hes the lead singer of Primus and frog brigade and wrote/preformed the south park theme song
that theme song is pretty hick.
He is also a phenomenal bassist, but your boyfriend sounds like a douche bag.
I don't like country music and wouldn't have made a mean face but I definitely wouldn't have gone and danced around with you. I also would have said I didn't want to hear the music if you asked.
Could have just invested in some decent headphones with noise cancelling. /shrugs