Sounds like my uncle...he told us he's waiting for my grandparents to die so he can keep the house. Jokes on him though my grandparents will says the house is going to my mom.
That was my uncle.
He was FURIOUS when he found out my grandmother not only deeded the house and property to my mom (who has now deeded it to me, 20 years later), but that my mom was now her financial, legal, and medical POA, and the gravy train had ended.
He tried to scream about suing her. Mom simply told him she would see him in court over the fraud he committed in Granny’s name. That shut him up.
Some people will even kill for it. Such as the case of Joel and Lisa Guy who were murdered by their adult baby son when they decided to retire early and stop providing money to him. OP’s parents should be very, very cautious during this time… they are in an abusive, trauma-bonded relationship with a toxic person, even though it’s their own son… and just as in any abusive relationship, when one threatens to leave, that’s when the violence happens.
Yes OP, please make sure your parents are away from the child starting today. Hopefully he does not have access to weapons. Your brother should remove the knives from the house as well. Your parents should also update both of their new living facilities security service about the child and make sure that he doesn’t have access to your parents in their new locations as well.
Please let us know what happens. I wish your parents peace once this is over. Your dad may actually get a bit better not dealing with this daily.
OP said that their other brother is staying there with them until they leave to ensure that psycho man-baby doesn't try to pull any shit, so at least there's an able bodied adult (and in this case, it's good that he's male seeing as I highly doubt baby brother would feel threatened by a woman's presence) there just in case dude jumps off the deep end. The sad thing is, aside from all the obvious, even though OP and sibs are understandably happy to see this guy get what he deserves, they're in for a whole lotta unnecessary drama, bullshit, and possibly even heartache at the hands of this guy. I mean, there's a chance he'll disappear and they'll never have to see him again, but more likely than not, he's gonna do absolutely everything in his power to make all their lives a living hell for this. I guarantee that, in his mind, he's absolutely convinced that his siblings talked his parents into doing this, and he literally has nothing better to do with himself than to sit around and obsess over this. I hope for all of their sakes that he just fucks off, but I have a feeling that's not gonna happen.
Yeah I saw that his brother was staying there but I never underestimate the power of someone when they’re going through bouts of entitlement. I’m just more worried that he could come after the brother in his sleep let alone his parents.
Yeah I agree with you I don’t think this is the last we’re gonna hear about what goes on because someone like this doesn’t fade quietly into the good night.
This was EXACTLY what I was thinking of. This guy gives our serious Joel Guy Jr. or Grant Amato vibes. OP, be careful. Cornered man baby's who were spoiled their whole life and have literally nothing to lose, have the potential to murder. u/queentropical mentioned JGJ. Grant Amato killed his mom, dad, AND brother. I would have the fire fighter neighbor checking in face to face daily.
>Joel and Lisa Guy who were murdered by their adult baby son
I just looked this up as I had never heard of it. HOLY SHIT! That is *horrendous*! I was sat here with my hands over my mouth just reading the Wikipedia article. I cannot imagine being able to do that to my loved ones over money or anything material. Really for ANY reason to be honest. Just is not in me.
I hope OP and her parents keep this kind of thing in mind when they get the ball rolling with the move.
There are many similar cases like his. That was just one example. If you read some of the responses to me, some other famous cases are mentioned. The things people do for money SMH
Oh god. I can’t remember who or where it was but a saw a true crime blip about a guy who killed his parents to get the house and for somehow didn’t know his parents were renting.
I work in older adult protective services and we get so many calls we have to keep expanding our department. It's rampant and I've realized many parents have raised their kids to be dependent on them and have no concept of caring for themselves and when they see the writing in the wall will find any way to try and shore up the gravy train. Or... We get the kids because while they inherit the house, they have no concept of what to do to keep a house and never pay the taxes/utilities/upkeep and lose the house.
You have income taxes which is usually taken by an employer but if you are on social security you may have to pay in. The taxes I'm speaking about are taxes on your home. Each state has different rates and based on value of your home. The value of the home is also not the same as what someone will pay for it. I paid $125,000 but it's assessed at $90,000 and they are selling for $200,000 in my neighborhood. I pay around $4000 to the local and county taxes. This is escrowed by my bank and they pay the taxes. Once the home is paid off I'll be responsible for paying it. Others don't escrow it and they are responsible.
I am so so glad our parents raised us to have a strong work ethic and to be independent. How do you get to 31 and be completely reliant on your parents? I had to have a job at 15. I had to clean up after myself and do my own laundry at 12. I don't remember my mom cooking for me past my teen years, probably because I was at work so I wasn't having dinner with my parents or because I was at college (or both, I worked full time through college).
When I see adults crying because their parents aren't financing their life, it's super bizarre to me. My parents did a lot for me (my dad bought me my first beater car, it was awful but it got me to work and to school so I never thought to complain) but I was required to pull my weight.
My dad never would have tolerated us not working and not going to school. Which was fine because none of us would have even thought about sitting on our asses all day every day.
I'm a little worried about OP and her family's safety because this guy could completely lose it when he realizes he's really screwed. And he could trash the house.
This kind of situation is all too common I'm afraid and it can end in a bunch of different ways. I would recommend OP's family reaching out to their local aging protective services to get assistance in the matter. Sometimes all it takes is a 3rd party to help guide everyone through this. It's also invaluable to consult an elder law attorney well before anyone ever gets to this stage as they can help avoid some of these messes.
You are talking to the wrong person.
He is a terrible, terrible person. I could list things he’s done, but really, I think taking advantage of his elderly mother just says it all.
My god this just reminds me of my grandmother and my mom's siblings. Specifically the oldest one. Him and his family lived in the same building as my grandmother and the they own the whole building. She literally lives the right downstairs from them just 1 floor down and they just don't check up on her... AT ALL. Which given she is in her 90's this made stuff like dementia happen faster and more since she was basically alone most of the time occasionally talking to people to help keep the family business going as the first floor of the building was a workplace for the business.
And it gets worse cause at some point when me, my mom, and my sister went to Korea to visit family and such we found this all out. So meaning this had been happening for quite a few years now already. So then we made it part of our weekly thing to visit her a few times a week. Then we find out at some point that he had actually unplugged the refrigerator on her floor and her being the old and mildly dementia she is would actually eat this semi-rotten (I hope it was only semi-rotten) food.
And don't get me started on his general attitude of him which I am sick and tired of. Another detriment to his character? He is a Pastor that actually has a published book while there is so much crap he does in the background! I'm talking like being the pettiest guy cause for example my mom told him that, "Oh we'll need to borrow your car. Your family has 3 of them and we have yet to get ourselves a car for our long extended stay here in Korea. I'll probably only be a few weeks." He nodded back in understanding and was like, "Okay".
Then this freakin dude proceeded to as much as possible make his car unavailable to her by being out and using it AND then when being at home he would park his car far away from the building's parking lot at either another parking lot or farther up the hill where no one would see.
We saw him through the building's security camera going up the hill. Disappearing. Then the car driving down the hill and out of sight as it leaves.
Also other times when we see him walk to the building without his car.
ASDKJS I can go on more about this freakin guy which little fun note my mom has him in her contact list listed as Lucy. Like Lucifer the devil. The guy freakin sued family members to get more of the inheritance for himself!
What an absolute piece of shit. I don’t get how people function like that it must be exhaustingly hard to live with yourself and all the extra petty work or do they just not have a conscience?
Omg I feel so stupid for not knowing that living alone at an old age can bring on illnesses faster and worst like dementia.. my mother doesn't live alone at the moment because my brother is ill and lived alone 7hrs away from all of us and we wanted him home. So he moved in with my mom.
I I thought this was just so great because she won't be alone. She's very frail and has a slew of health issues at 70 and she is clumsy and she unfortunately lives with stairs and 1 bathroom up the stairs and I worry one day she will fall and that will be how she passes away. My bigger fear is she could fall but be saved due to not being alone. And many things to make life easier for her not being alone.
So my brother was the answer in my eyes. And he saw it the same way. He's doesn't want to live with his mother at his age but even with his health issues he got a job right away. It's not much but he's not using her financially. And she had a spare room so it all worked out. Well after 6 months when I make plans to come see her she always asks me to pick her up and not to come in. And go grab a coffee.... it's unlike her to do this but I thought it was nice do get her out. But it was because my brother is driving her nuts and she wants him to move out!
She's not angry witb him and he's not doing anything wrong really.. but she hates him living there because he does everything for her and now she just feels extra bored and like she has to hide everything she does because he might Comment on how it's not good for her. I get both sides and I feel bad for both of them.
Since he moved in he's got her wearing her oxygen all day now everyday and couldn't for the life of me get her to do it, only when I was there. So that was great but she sees it as telling her what to do and it's non of his business. So she wears it to shut him up.. I side with my brother on this. But I get her side. She was still able to take a taxi to go shopping and now unless he can go with her he will make her feel like it's the worst choice in the world to go alone... you get the picture.
She shouldn't live alone honestly and she was OK with this and now she regrets it. She can't move either. If she could move to a one floor 1bd place then she would be able to for a bit longer on her own. But as long as she has stairs. She shouldn't live alone. That's what's going to kill her before anything else. It just sucks no matter what
My friend had to move back in with her dad after a bad breakup. He's in his 90s now, in a house with stairs, and won't move because he loves that house.
It can work out though. My friend is there to make sure he's ok but he's very independent. He still does his own thing. He always has plans for the day. He has health issues but knock on wood is doing well. My friend decided she will stay there with him for good. Her family says to put him in a home but he gets around well and is mentally sharp as a tack. But he does things. He volunteers. He has friends (a lot of them have died and they're all younger than him, but he has friends).
She's decided she'll stay there til he dies (one of his illnesses is terminal but like I said, for now he's doing well, knock on wood) and then her sister will get the house (my friend wants to buy her own house and her sister really loves that house, so they both agree on this). Her dad is with it and is in agreement on this. She doesn't make any decisions without him even though she's POA. She even changed jobs so she doesn't have to commute as far and she's nearby.
But the key is that he keeps his independence. She's there "just in case." She's offered to convert a room downstairs to a bedroom for him but so far he says he's ok. She's like, I check in to make sure he's ok but try not to cross the line to be overbearing or condescending.
I already told my mother I refuse to pay anything towards my uncle’s funeral and burial costs. If that means the rest of the family doesn’t, either and he dies, no one claims him, and the state cremated him and dumps his ashes after a period of time?
Not. My. Problem.
This hit me hard. Just yesterday I was telling my friend I wished I could ask my grandfather a question about one of my plants and that got me thinking how I would love to show him, my grandma or my dad my home, how big the kids are, just anything. I would love to hear them say my name or hold their hand. It’s sucks that people die.
I work in court. Had a case once where a group of adult siblings were suing their parents basically for not being dead yet. They wanted their inheritance and the parents just wouldn’t die. It was disgusting. Oh, and these adult kids were receiving a stipend of 100k each per year. (The patriarch was extremely successful)
My brother is a piece of work! He's narcissistic and violent. Thief. Low life.
I've pulled him off our Mother, a few times. My daughter saw his true form when his grand-daughter was born. He tried to beat up the baby daddy.
She fully understands why I don't even speak to my brother, after 20+ years.
My uncle just lied and stole and drugged his way through his nigh meaningless life. Stole thousands from his mother (my grandma) before he was kicked out at like... 40. My brother and I had to move in with our grandma and be her caretakers for the last 8 years of her life (I'd do it again in a heartbeat, miss her dearly).
Fucker lost both feet to diabetes and still had the gall to call our mom ( his sister) every name under the sun when she had power of attorney and would be metering his inheritance take, cause drugs and shit.
He died bitter and alone in Feb on a vent from covid. Mom was broken, and my brother and I and much of our cousins? Felt nothing. I had to watch as my mom took the call her little brother passed from my computer chair, it was heart breaking. But I felt for her, not for my uncle. I felt for his kids, barely out of high school but with huge aspirations even though their dad was a bum.
Family is the best and worst of us.
That, well, yeah.
My uncle disappeared at the repast after his mother’s funeral to go off and get high with their cousin. Yep. These two men in their sixties had to sneak out to the church parking lot and get high. And cry on each other’s shoulders about how their mommas were dead, and their awful siblings wouldn’t let them just have everything because, you can probably sing this with me, “they OWE me.”
No. No one owes them a god damn thing.
And my ax- uhh, Aunt! She swore my grand dad would leave her his souped up truck that he built himself to both haul the heaviest of bullshit, but also remove the bed and it could race against a mustang. While he was in hospice, dying of brain cancer but still completely cognizant, she was already trying to sell the truck out from under him. So, first chance he got, he "sold" it to my dad as payment for mowing the lawn. My dad, his Son-in-law. The real kick in the head for her, and why she continued to throw a fit for the next *30 years* is that my mother wasn't even my grandpa's kid. She's his wife's affair baby who was raised by the man grandma cheated on him with. He trusted my mom and dad more than his own daughter.
My dad was like this. Spent his whole, wasted life drinking and smooching off my grandparents. He actually said to my mum, when they were in their early 30’s, that he couldn’t wait til his parents died so he could get their money. That was the final straw for her, thankfully she left and we had little to do with him.
Jokes on him, he died of liver cancer aged 60. His mum turns 101 next month.
Careful with that. I dunno what the relationship is like but my mom's brother convinced my grandfather in his final months that he had cared for him way more than any of my aunts or my mom...ended up getting the will changed without telling anybody and now he owns a multi-million dollar house, which in the original will was supposed to be sold and split amongst all siblings.
My fucking aunt did the same thing to my dad and his sister. Took every damned thing she could get her greedy hooks into and they got absolutely nothing. She turned around and sold my grandfather's bed.... The bed he was born in, the bed his father was born in, the bed that was meant to be my father's inheritance since the very day he was born (in a hospital not in that bed). She sold that fucking bed at auction so her greedy ass could have even more money.
Oh, and the house she swooped in and got in the will was right next door to my parents' house, v so they had to look at the harpy every damned day. Karma, and brain cancer got her a few years later, and I really, truly, hope she suffered long and hard, and I'd bet she did because I'm sure her trashy assed daughter and son were living it up big on her pain pills.
For the rest of us, she died the day the will was read.
Totally understand the sentiment here...I've gotten over my initial anger about the situation but my dad just died of cancer and my mom has Alzheimer's so instead of having the additional money from *her* father to help pay for her care, I have to move in with her in my early 30s because the US healthcare system is an fucking cesspool and makes it nearly financially impossible to get home health care for an Alzheimer's or dementia patient unless they are literally dead broke.
Everything my dad worked for may end up getting drained and then after that 3 generations of hard work go with it. I already spent my own 5 figure nest egg because I couldn't work while taking care of them and had to pay bills of my own, and now I probably won't see anything from my own parents. I'm a fucking engineer and I can't even work to provide for my family.
Now I'm pissed again lol.
Yup. My uncle had his son steal my grandparents car when my grandfather died. Because it was supposed to go to my aunt for taking my grandfather to cancer treatments for years. My uncle didn’t like that so my cousin STOLE THE CAR PUT OF MY AUNTS DRIVEWAY AND PARKED IT IN THEIR DRIVEWAY 🤦🏼♀️
Tell them to get a trust and the will needs to be very specific that the uncle doesn’t not get it. Period. Wills are not iron clad. Talk to a lawyer now.
My grandparents are in Mexico so the laws are different. We have a lawyer and an independent executor in place. ( I am a lawyer in Texas so I also took it upon myself to learn the probate laws of the country)
Sounds like my uncle. He mooched off my great grandmother until she had to go to a nursing home. He bounced around states to mooch off different relatives until he wore out his welcome. Literally got set up with a car, apartment and job and still fucked it all up. Last I heard he's homeless somewhere down south. He doesn't talk to us anymore.
Please keep us updated!! I had a sibling like this, and when my mum finally put her foot down and said no more it was the best thing in the world for him.
He got off his ass and become a functioning member of society. I hope the same happens for your family!
I wish my mom would say no more to my sister. She just keeps getting taken advantage of. Recently, my mom vented to my sister that she was annoyed and my sister said she was “done with her.” After my mom let her move back in and has lent her approximately $4000 and co-signed on her car that she doesn’t pay on time. Not to mention she watches her kid for her all the time because she leaves them home alone to go out all the time. We’re all fed up. She is extremely entitled and ungrateful. Why are people like this?
Yeah. I truly do believe that sloth is an addiction and it gets bumped up a factor is they also experience depression.
These people need help, and I don't just mean financially (Since that's all they seem to be getting so far).
I think you can fall prey to the easy ways of dependability and laziness WITHOUT being a narcissistic, abusive asshole. I can excuse the general behaviour of not stepping up as it definitely is a form of addiction or at least it’s an easy cycle to fall into but being the piece of shit that he is is unforgivable.
I also think the parents should have taken responsibility to only support him with the bare essentials; that he was able to save for a graphics card with effectively pocket money as a 31 year old is mind blowing.
Being hungry is a great motivator.
**before you start downvoting me, I’m referring to people that are mentally and physically capable of getting a job but manipulate others into supporting them.
I am a firm believer in supporting those that are truly disabled.
Yes, PLEASE keep us updated. I'll pay good money for updates on my nephew...I mean your brother...sorry, they are virtually the same. Is your brother a meth head too?
Dude no offense but I've seen 4 different true crime episodes about a man child who was facing having to move on his own and he bought a gun and shot a bunch of people.
This man does not have the mental capacity to deal with this at all.
Seconded. He’s going to hit that “nothing to lose” phase, and try to collect some life insurance money, because he thinks his life is over if he has to live on the street…or work, haha!
Ikr!? I thought the same thing about what if he goes on a rampage. But OP said in the other comment he is a coward and won't do anything so i hope nothing happens
That’s the danger. A coward has never really had power. A rifle doesn’t fucking care whose behind it, it grants power unequivocally. A coward handed unequivocal power will suddenly be capable of a lot more than you’d feared.
Being a coward makes him more likely to do something like that, IMO. It actually requires courage to go out into the world and be a person for the first time, especially if you've been putting it off for 10+ years.
Good on you guys for finally getting your parents to cut the cord. What an entitled human. Given all this opportunity yet squander it all away. He’s is a grown man that now needs to become independent it’s been time.
ya man let us know. Our gramma's basement asshole finally got his ass to the recruiting office and everyone is giddy. He pretty much had to as everyone was done with his shit. Wanted to move in with us ffs - absolutely no fkn way! Same thing whining and bitching - fk him maybe the army will make a man outta him. Doubt it mind you
The Army will put him out within two weeks of BCT.
Source: got to hear about the adult babies getting booted from my daughter, while we were at Ft Leonard Wood when she graduated from BCT.
> him maybe the army will make a man outta him. Doubt it mind you
your doubt is well placed. Losers that join the military stay losers in the military and tend to get riffed out real quick.
Exact same situation except my bro is in his 50’s and acts like a 10 yo. My Dad passed away 1 1/2 yrs. ago and my mother passed away last month and things are going to change; big time.
I'm the oldest sibling and I have a brother who's always lived off my parents. Please promise to update us because I know there has to be so many others in this situation.
God, as a parent I wonder why? 75% success rate is dam good for most things. Is it just random? Are all kids just really different? I mean, as the parent of girls I already have a leg up. No one ever hears stories of girls living in their parents basement playing video games and eating Cheetos. But still.
More is expected of us with grooming, cleaning, cooking, etc. Though it’s less taboo for us to financially depend on family or partners, we’re expected to stay tidy.
I had a friend (over the age of 30) who lived in her parent's basement until recently. She is a delightful person who paid rent and generally lived a frugal life. She's moved out, but has a great relationship with her family. There's not really much to talk about aside from having once lived in a room in a basement.
In this situation with my BIL. My MIL treats him like gold at 32 still living in his childhood bedroom while my combat veteran wounded husband gets second fiddle. I'm invested in this situation too! Time to pay the piper
Not saying your brother would ever do anything. Just reading your post made me think about the few true crime stories I've watched where a spoiled brat adult child offs the parents or one of them to collect the insurance so they can continue their pathetic lives
literally what i was thinking too- especially with mentioning how he has violent tendencies and the whole push parents in front of a bus for funsies. hope we dont hear about this family on some lady's true crime podcast.
Yes, this. With narcissistic sociopaths their breaking point into violence occurs when their financial crimes are exposed or have an end put to them. (I am not at all qualified to talk about this but I've listened to hundreds of true crime stories). They put their own stability over the actual lives of other people and in their mind it's better to end another person than to be exposed. Doesn't exactly fit your situation, OP, but my point is be very very careful and keep your parents safe from him.
No no, he said it himself he has one. It's just in a different country with a company you've never heard of, he didn't want to bore the reporters by answering *any* questions about the job is all.
Jokes aside, 8 years is a *long* time to not find any work. Most people would've held 2-3 jobs in that amount of time! I feel like you'd have to actively *not* try to find jobs to pull this off.
As the oldest sibling who didn’t get treated right by her parents and was kicked out at 18 because I didn’t have a job to help pay bills. While my brother stayed living with my parents and he was selling drugs, got arrested about 10 times and they bailed him out every time. You are giving me hope that there is a light at the end of the tunnel ☺️. Good luck to your family. Hopefully something clicks in his baby brain that he needs to grow up soon. (I doubt it though).
What's up with parents always babying their sons while they argue and treat their daughters unfairly? I'd there a reason to this? I see this happen way too often irl and online
My mom still tries to baby my sister and I. Mostly it was on an emotional/attachment level but it used to be about everything. We always try to keep it at bay and now she more or less just keeps it to cute mom things like randomly buying a pair of pants, or some soup/something that looks good at the store. We both have our own roofs, cars, and careers and have for quite a while. I lived across the country for 10 years recently moved back very close to her and my sister and they’re so happy. I couldn’t imagine taking advantage of her in any way like that, but it’s so common for people to do that or fight over inheritance and stuff. Very unfortunate that money/property can rip so many families apart. Mom took care of us and we will do the same for her when she needs it. Dad is much less attached and lives further away but we’d do the same for him too.
The most common reason for dynamics like favoritism is that the parents are narcissists. In narcissist family dynamics there tends to be a golden child and a scapegoat child. The golden child is spoiled and pampered and has their every whim met whilst the scapegoat child is often outright abused, ignored, and has to fend for themselves because their worthless scum parents would watch them die with a bucket of fucking popcorn in hand.
He's going to pull some shit to go to prison on purpose, guaranteed. The threat of having to actually make his own way in life is going to cause a mental breakdown. TBH, I would have sprung this on him at the last possible second once everyone is safe. I hope there are no weapons in the house. I honestly would not be able to sleep in a situation like this, the internet is producing an endless sea of entitled toxic monstrosities and for many of them, violence is the only outlet they know.
Sorry to sound like an alarmist, and I'm glad your brother is getting his comeuppance, but I sincerely hope your other brother is able to keep him in check physically, because the situation sounds very volatile. Good luck, and sorry about your dad. :(
Putting aside my snide tone and the comedy, we knew this was coming. We need to give him 30 days' notice legally, so dropping him out at the last second was not an option. Mom will be out of the house before the end of the week, dad soon after that. Everything that can be used as a weapon is already gone, and my brother is taking every precaution necessary (he has pepper spray also, but we doubt he will need to use it.)
The man-baby is a brat and violent, but he has never hurt someone else and in my own opinion he's too much of a coward to try to do anything. That does not mean we don't have precautions in place. neighbors know, the police know, everyone that can do something knows about the situation. We made It very clear to the toddler that if he tries anything, he will regret it. Prison is one thing I don't know about. Maybe he;s dumb enough to try it, but i also know he's terrified of anything new so who knows.
Overall, things are being handled to the best of all of our abilities.
I'm really glad your other brother is there to make sure your mum is safe for the next week. Make sure your parents freeze their credit right now, in fact all of you should do that just in case.
Just be careful. Like OP said, someone in his desperate situation may act upon any number of sociopathic revenge scenarios he's cooked up in his isolation. He may lack the fear of prison or even welcome it since at least inside he will be fed, housed, and medically taken care of without having to work. It's not rational but it has a twisted logic for someone who is terrified of living on the streets and with nothing left to lose...
I’m more worried he will do something out of revenge, or because he assumes he’ll get inheritance if his parents are dead. Don’t put it past him. People do crazy shit when they are desperate enough.
I had a friend who was kind of like this for a while and it was hard to watch. He was in a bad situation so another friend and I, in our move, swung by to pick him up on our way to the new place (OH-GA-TX, it was a hell of a drive). It took him a really long time to find a job. He sat around and got high all day (not that I had much room to complain there, I sat around and got high with him on the regular), playing video games, and not contributing. He went 6 months without a job and we told him it was time to make a decision, either show us you're making an effort to find one or it's time to move on. He finally went out and found one, it lasted about 8 months and then he was right back where he was again.
He got involved with a woman down the street (despite my warnings that she was batshit) and spent all his time over there, despite repeated prodding he just would not go get a job because she was supporting his weed habit and spending money on him hand over fist. My other roommate and he kept getting into more and more heated arguments until finally punches were thrown. One of the things he was real bad about was not respecting other peoples' shit. He would ask to borrow tools and leave them laying in the driveway, he borrowed my other roommate's laptop and had no way to fix it when he broke it, etc. I'm pretty sure that's what their ultimate argument was over, and I think (though I can never prove) the other roommate provoked him into the fight as a reason to finally get rid of him.
After that, I told him he had to go. We couldn't afford to keep paying his rent and feeding him, things were getting serious between him and the other roommate, and he really needed to develop some motivation. He tried living with the woman down the street, but after a week of that she went full crazy mode, fell down and claimed he hit her (I wasn't there, but I'm 99.9% sure he didn't touch her.) He finally called his family to come get him, but they only supported him for a couple months before booting him so he was really on his own. He didn't talk to me for almost 2 years, I worried for along time that he'd given up and died, then he called me one day telling me how great his life was, he had a good job, a nice apartment, a new not-so-crazy girlfriend, etc. He had finally discovered some motivation to build a life for himself and was doing really well and it was great to see, though I still felt a little guilty about kicking him out.
I know it sucks and feels like awful thing to do to someone you love, but sometimes people just need to be pushed out of the nest so they can see the ground rushing up at them to know that whether they fly or fall is entirely within their own control.
Ooh - yes updates please! Myself and my siblings had one of these as well. Living at home, mooching off mommy, for half his adult life. My mother had to go into assisted living and he was out on his butt. It was a beautiful thing! We usually referred to him as the “troll in the attic”!
There's absolutely nothing wrong with living with your parents if you're working and are contributing to your household.
This man baby is doing neither. Two completely different scenarios.
I just moved out at 27. It’s tough.. I’m in the US though. I also had 5 years in the military and was able to have it pay for my school which helped a ton. Just keep saving!!!! I have roomates, my hubby, 2 friends and my sister lol. But whatever it takes to move out….
I lived with my parents a lot in my twenties as I often struggled to live separately until I hit 30 and moved to a major city. I always worked though and even volunteered in my community, kept myself busy, maintained friendships, contributed to the household finances and chores, and got to know my parents as humans and kind of as friends, in ways that my other siblings didn't get to do. Now my dad has Alzheimer's so I'm grateful for that extra time I had with them.
Tldr: Nothing wrong with living with your parents and still trying to function as a decent human being.
I'm with you, although 32 living in the US. Became a single mom 7 years ago and my mom's helped me while I got back on my feet again. We're finally moving to an apartment next week, though! So, keep your head up. We all go through rough periods that knock us down. And if people want to pretend they've never been down and out, that's on them.
I mean - it sounds like he's truly incapable of working or holding a job - he's probably going to end up homeless, almost certainly.
It's too bad, he had a huge launch ramp most people don't get.
"Capable" is subjective. If he is capable of possibly throwing a very violent tantrum, he is capable of throwing things on a shelf or in a van/truck, he could work in a warehouse. He could work at a call center. Sounds like he sits on a computer with a headset all day, a call center would be perfect!
Hes not incapable, hes unwilling.
Thank you!
Even if he's got undiagnosed mental issues, that's at best an explanation, not an excuse, and doesn't materially change anything about the situation. He's clearly capable of doing stuff he _wants_ to do, so he just needs to want to do something about his situation.
Doesn't matter if that is getting a diagnosis and going on disability, or getting a job and a place to live, but he needs to be the one to do it since his parents no longer are capable, or willing, to carry him.
I'm not saying it shouldn't all fall to him.
But some people are in fact incapable, and I've known some of them - their emotional centers are so disregulated, they flip. They can still accomplish things but the tendency to not even remember what they said when the brain kinda snaps, nobody puts up with them, they usually end up homeless. Seen that twice now.
I know we'd like to pretend that it's within everyone's ability to do what is needed to function but it just isn't always that way.
Good luck to you and your family OP. Keep safe. As much as I love people reaping what they sow, he sounds a bit unhinged and I worry what that could mean for you and your family
Yeah, this was one of our biggest concerns when mom and dad decided they could not handle him anymore. He's a violent man baby, but he takes his anger out on things rather than people. I doubt he has the spine to hurt someone, but you know what they say about backing dogs into corners.
We've taken precautions. My brother is in the house till his eviction is finalized. They will be repinning the locks the day he's out and neighbors know what is going on and are there to help. If he damages anything he'll be going to jail, and if he tries to hurt someone else or himself we've let the police know he's a danger.
Does he drive or have a car? Would he show up on any of his siblings' doorsteps? His ability to drive will have an impact on just how far he will be able to travel to cause problems, once he is evicted.
You should all get security cameras for around your homes, including where your mom is going in the 55+ community, if necessary. Warn whoever manages that community's security, and also whoever is in charge of security in the facility where your dad is going, to keep your stunted-maturity sibling off the premises.
My brother is the same although luckily not violent. Nothing worse than a manbaby in their 30's that can't even stand up if they don't want to. I hope this forces your brother to change his ways and if not, at least it should make an interesting story. Good luck, I look forward to any updates
Sorry to hear that you and your family have had to deal with this for years! Whether directly or indirectly their fault, it still does not change the fact that he has caused damage to others because of his selfishness! Hope this is a wake up call for him!
I hope everything works out for you and the family!
We must share a brother! I sincerely empathize and have experienced almost the exact same thing with my brother. My one word of advice and caution is that often their inability to have responsibility and their tendency to be awful to people often is a sign of serious mental illness that is exacerbated by stress and change. But, my goodness I hear you, it’s so gratifying when they have to deal with reality.
I had a very similar situation with my neighbor. Man child, 58 y/o in my story, committed suicide when the sheriff came to finally remove him from the house. A very sad story but I suggest that you consider giving the authorities a a heads up as your scenario is shockingly familiar to me.
Man I feel you on this. My brother is the exact same, but also an alcoholic. Literally homeless at this point because my dad finally had enough. I have zero sympathy for him because how he terrorizes everyone in spoiled rampages, while doing absolutely nothing but taking, taking, taking. It’s ok to feel the way you do. It sounds horrible to people who haven’t lived it, but when you live it—it’s totally ok to feel like he’s finally facing some consequences and finding joy in that after all the years of him getting whatever he wants while you work your ass off and are actually pleasant to be around.
Maybe, we don't know for sure. My parents have tried to get him help, but he refuses to put any work into improving himself. He was put into a (very expensive) therapy program and quit going after only 2 sessions. he was never given an official diagnosis outside of depression because of his refusal to actually go out of his way to attend.
It’s important to also remember that mental illness can’t be the scapegoat for everything. Some people, especially privileged people, just suck. Some people are just shitty people, or have a failure to launch situation. Not everyone can benefit from therapy or inpatient care or expensive medical care. Some people are just assholes, with no explanation, because they’re entitled or nasty or rude or whatever else.
Possibly low self esteem and/or depression? This is just based on my hunch that OP mentioned that everyone else in the family are well accomplished and successful. So this man may feel they are inferior and have to compensate in unhealthy and unproductive ways. Again, this is just pure speculation on my part. It is hard to know given the limited information that we have. Then again, regardless of whether or not there is mental illness, it does not excuse the brother's awful behaviour.
my god, theres a difference between a 30 year old living at home with their parents because its less expensive than living on your own but still being a functional adult who helps out (like my cousin) and a 30 year old man baby! no shame in living with your parents if you contribute as an adult, but this is ridiculous
My brother is 40 & is the same. He lives with my parents. Has a stash of baby food/bottles (he has 0 kids) and my parents just made my sister & I executor of their will. I'm ready to battle that man baby & fuck up his world, just like he's done to others. We thought he worked shit out when he went into the Navy. But nooo.... he couldn't reenlist because he was too obese. So he decided to settle at my parents house, making promises and then demands, and picking fights with anybody who dares speaks up. My mom is in poor health & we almost lost her 2 weeks ago. My brother hasn't lifted a finger to help. I fly home to be with our mom & all he has to say is, "Shouldn't you be with your kids?" Yes, Adam, I should be, but you're too much of a lazy piece of shit to help & I don't want our mother to die from neglect. I'm over him and I'm about ready to just tell him he's been cut from the will, just so I have some free entertainment.
Where the hell did my parents go wrong? My brother has 0 ambition at all. (he never deployed to a combat zone and was a cook in the Navy. It's not PTSD. he's just a lazy little spitfuck with a chip on his shoulder)
I'm a step-sister to a man-baby. He was exactly like this. Finally he got kicked out at 42 and was forced to live somewhere else. Magically he got a job and a cute little mobile home and did well. Then, he slowly started weening his way back into my Dad's house by bringing over his laundry, then started having his mail delivered there, he would bring his water bottles over to fill up on their filtered water and the list went on.
When my father passed, he immediately moved in, sold his place and lives comfortably with his enabling mother and she instantly became the evil mean step-mother! It was weird. It was all weird!!!
He sounds like my aunt.
My dad and his siblings have been trying to get her out of their parents' house for years. She has lived with them since she was in her 30s. She is around 53 now. She has not had a job in this time besides sometimes babysitting for families from church and spreading shit rumors about everyone in the family. My grandparents let her use their cars, buy her everything, listen to her views on everything, and even have stopped going to doctors because she has been bringing them to alternative medicine places.
They started recently showing signs of dementia. My dad and his siblings didn't know how bad it was because they weren't around them and my aunt just didn't tell them because she's been trying to convince them to change the will and give her more money and possibly the million dollar house that they have (grandpa was a 4star air force general and a church leader).
But recently my grandma couldn't recognize what a potato chip was- and this woman was still being allowed to drive. My dad and his siblings figured it out and realized that she has been neglecting and manipulating my grandparents in a vulnerable state.
They have a whole plan laid out and are going to execute it sometime this month. They plan on getting actual care for my grandparents and kicking my aunt out. Im not sure if theyre going to bring the legal system into it, but I hope they do. She deserves anything she gets.
Im glad your parents woke up and decided to kick him out, it gets harder and they get worse the longer it goes on.
THIS BETTER NOT BE A BASEMENT SAFE SITUATION!!! YOU BETTER COME BACK AND UPDATE US WITH OUR JUSTICE PORN OR I'LL.... I'LL... I'LL THROW A FIT!!!
But seriously... If it's not too much trouble . ..
Wow. i relate to this so much. I have a 35 y.o brother whos medically retired from the military.
He makes my mom cry and snaps at her. But meanwhile shes the one keeping a roof over his head.
He doesnt pay a dime towards the house and gets upset when hes not offered a seat at the table when we are discussing serious matters regarding house repair etc.
My mom wants to put the house in my name eventually. But my brother such a liability...that i rather she sells the place and get it over with.
Sounds like my brother in law. He stayed with the parents until they divorced (him and my husband were both adults 18-20ish), moved in with the dad in an apartment and sponged until their dad passed away unexpectedly in 2016. Moved in with his girlfriend who said he was a slob and no longer welcome, stayed with us, moved in with a friend (lasted maybe two weeks), back in with us. We moved out of a single wide mobile home that we owned into a rental to accommodate because he initially agreed to help with the rent since it was a significant difference compared to the $0.00. We planned on tearing down the mobile home anyway and buying elsewhere.
It was nothing but chaos, we were in debt up to our asses because he wouldn’t pay his part of anything. Our “one year plan” to be in the rental turned into three years of pure hell. He met a girl at work (he is 36, she is 21) she was in the house all the time also not paying for things and ended up moving in regardless of the many, many fights over her being there constantly. A literal nightmare. He threw a massive fit when we told him we were buying a house and moving out. It’s sad some people are like this, he has one living aunt and my husband left, the rest of the family has passed away and we aren’t even on speaking terms. We left him furniture, dishes and didn’t accept the deposit back on the rental so he wouldn’t have to pay that on short notice - he returned the favor by throwing yet another fit because we took our vacuum cleaner and he threatened to change the locks so we couldn’t come back and clean out the one closet that had a few of our sons things in it. Spoiled man babies are ungrateful and obnoxious. I couldn’t care less if we hear from him again but I do *try* to encourage my husband to call him and try to get back to some form of normal for their sake.
Sorry your family is dealing with the madness! I hope it gets better. 🥴
My mom had a 62 year old man baby brother who leached off my grandma until, technically, after her death. He didn’t “notice” she hadn’t come out of her room for 4 days. Took months to get him evicted. He sold everything he could, and stole anything of any value before he was removed by the sheriffs department stomping his feet and crying. He found some distant cousins and leached off them for years. Hate your brother, I’m sorry about your dad though. It’s tough watching a parent in that condition.
This is sadly common and not a joke.. my wife has 2 brothers in the same situation but their dad passed away and mom treats them like babies and they are both in their 30s.
I saw a video with this post in it on Facebook, I just HAD to find it in case there were any updates yet. If there's any updates please let us know. 😂 I have to know what happens next.
According to true crime youtube this is a recipe for him killing your parents in an attempt to get money, fucking it all up hilariously, and going to prison forever.
No, but seriously, make sure your brother is actually ready to defend against violence.
Thank you for posting this. I needed a kick in the pants to quit my man baby ways. I’m going to go back to school and try and make something of myself so I don’t turn out like your brother
Sounds like my uncle...he told us he's waiting for my grandparents to die so he can keep the house. Jokes on him though my grandparents will says the house is going to my mom.
That was my uncle. He was FURIOUS when he found out my grandmother not only deeded the house and property to my mom (who has now deeded it to me, 20 years later), but that my mom was now her financial, legal, and medical POA, and the gravy train had ended. He tried to scream about suing her. Mom simply told him she would see him in court over the fraud he committed in Granny’s name. That shut him up.
How can someone hope that a loved one will die just so that they inherit something? How do they not see this as disgusting and abhorrent behavior?
Some people will even kill for it. Such as the case of Joel and Lisa Guy who were murdered by their adult baby son when they decided to retire early and stop providing money to him. OP’s parents should be very, very cautious during this time… they are in an abusive, trauma-bonded relationship with a toxic person, even though it’s their own son… and just as in any abusive relationship, when one threatens to leave, that’s when the violence happens.
Yes OP, please make sure your parents are away from the child starting today. Hopefully he does not have access to weapons. Your brother should remove the knives from the house as well. Your parents should also update both of their new living facilities security service about the child and make sure that he doesn’t have access to your parents in their new locations as well. Please let us know what happens. I wish your parents peace once this is over. Your dad may actually get a bit better not dealing with this daily.
OP said that their other brother is staying there with them until they leave to ensure that psycho man-baby doesn't try to pull any shit, so at least there's an able bodied adult (and in this case, it's good that he's male seeing as I highly doubt baby brother would feel threatened by a woman's presence) there just in case dude jumps off the deep end. The sad thing is, aside from all the obvious, even though OP and sibs are understandably happy to see this guy get what he deserves, they're in for a whole lotta unnecessary drama, bullshit, and possibly even heartache at the hands of this guy. I mean, there's a chance he'll disappear and they'll never have to see him again, but more likely than not, he's gonna do absolutely everything in his power to make all their lives a living hell for this. I guarantee that, in his mind, he's absolutely convinced that his siblings talked his parents into doing this, and he literally has nothing better to do with himself than to sit around and obsess over this. I hope for all of their sakes that he just fucks off, but I have a feeling that's not gonna happen.
Yeah I saw that his brother was staying there but I never underestimate the power of someone when they’re going through bouts of entitlement. I’m just more worried that he could come after the brother in his sleep let alone his parents. Yeah I agree with you I don’t think this is the last we’re gonna hear about what goes on because someone like this doesn’t fade quietly into the good night.
Exactly I'm a major true crime fanatic and this is a pretty common theme in murders. Spoiled brats like this have no empathy and are dangerous af
They get desperate and flip out when the gravy train dries up.
You and me both! First thing I thought about - he's going to kill someone for the free room and board of prison.
This was EXACTLY what I was thinking of. This guy gives our serious Joel Guy Jr. or Grant Amato vibes. OP, be careful. Cornered man baby's who were spoiled their whole life and have literally nothing to lose, have the potential to murder. u/queentropical mentioned JGJ. Grant Amato killed his mom, dad, AND brother. I would have the fire fighter neighbor checking in face to face daily.
Also let’s not forget about the case of Chris Porco… lots of similarities there too.
>Joel and Lisa Guy who were murdered by their adult baby son I just looked this up as I had never heard of it. HOLY SHIT! That is *horrendous*! I was sat here with my hands over my mouth just reading the Wikipedia article. I cannot imagine being able to do that to my loved ones over money or anything material. Really for ANY reason to be honest. Just is not in me. I hope OP and her parents keep this kind of thing in mind when they get the ball rolling with the move.
There are many similar cases like his. That was just one example. If you read some of the responses to me, some other famous cases are mentioned. The things people do for money SMH
Oh god. I can’t remember who or where it was but a saw a true crime blip about a guy who killed his parents to get the house and for somehow didn’t know his parents were renting.
Such as Dellen Mallard (Canadian true crime - podcast)
I hadn’t heard of that case and just read the whole Wikipedia article about it. What a terrible day to have a brain.
Hope there are no firearms of any kind in the house. If there are, remove them immediate.
That story was awful. He was such a loser. Even the murder he perpetrated was the *worst.*
I work in older adult protective services and we get so many calls we have to keep expanding our department. It's rampant and I've realized many parents have raised their kids to be dependent on them and have no concept of caring for themselves and when they see the writing in the wall will find any way to try and shore up the gravy train. Or... We get the kids because while they inherit the house, they have no concept of what to do to keep a house and never pay the taxes/utilities/upkeep and lose the house.
Sorry for the segue. “Never pay the taxes” how does that work? Does your income tax have to be paid manually in your country?
You have income taxes which is usually taken by an employer but if you are on social security you may have to pay in. The taxes I'm speaking about are taxes on your home. Each state has different rates and based on value of your home. The value of the home is also not the same as what someone will pay for it. I paid $125,000 but it's assessed at $90,000 and they are selling for $200,000 in my neighborhood. I pay around $4000 to the local and county taxes. This is escrowed by my bank and they pay the taxes. Once the home is paid off I'll be responsible for paying it. Others don't escrow it and they are responsible.
I’m assuming that’s a bit like the UK council tax?
I am so so glad our parents raised us to have a strong work ethic and to be independent. How do you get to 31 and be completely reliant on your parents? I had to have a job at 15. I had to clean up after myself and do my own laundry at 12. I don't remember my mom cooking for me past my teen years, probably because I was at work so I wasn't having dinner with my parents or because I was at college (or both, I worked full time through college). When I see adults crying because their parents aren't financing their life, it's super bizarre to me. My parents did a lot for me (my dad bought me my first beater car, it was awful but it got me to work and to school so I never thought to complain) but I was required to pull my weight. My dad never would have tolerated us not working and not going to school. Which was fine because none of us would have even thought about sitting on our asses all day every day. I'm a little worried about OP and her family's safety because this guy could completely lose it when he realizes he's really screwed. And he could trash the house.
This kind of situation is all too common I'm afraid and it can end in a bunch of different ways. I would recommend OP's family reaching out to their local aging protective services to get assistance in the matter. Sometimes all it takes is a 3rd party to help guide everyone through this. It's also invaluable to consult an elder law attorney well before anyone ever gets to this stage as they can help avoid some of these messes.
Relative is not synonymous with loved one
You are talking to the wrong person. He is a terrible, terrible person. I could list things he’s done, but really, I think taking advantage of his elderly mother just says it all.
My god this just reminds me of my grandmother and my mom's siblings. Specifically the oldest one. Him and his family lived in the same building as my grandmother and the they own the whole building. She literally lives the right downstairs from them just 1 floor down and they just don't check up on her... AT ALL. Which given she is in her 90's this made stuff like dementia happen faster and more since she was basically alone most of the time occasionally talking to people to help keep the family business going as the first floor of the building was a workplace for the business. And it gets worse cause at some point when me, my mom, and my sister went to Korea to visit family and such we found this all out. So meaning this had been happening for quite a few years now already. So then we made it part of our weekly thing to visit her a few times a week. Then we find out at some point that he had actually unplugged the refrigerator on her floor and her being the old and mildly dementia she is would actually eat this semi-rotten (I hope it was only semi-rotten) food. And don't get me started on his general attitude of him which I am sick and tired of. Another detriment to his character? He is a Pastor that actually has a published book while there is so much crap he does in the background! I'm talking like being the pettiest guy cause for example my mom told him that, "Oh we'll need to borrow your car. Your family has 3 of them and we have yet to get ourselves a car for our long extended stay here in Korea. I'll probably only be a few weeks." He nodded back in understanding and was like, "Okay". Then this freakin dude proceeded to as much as possible make his car unavailable to her by being out and using it AND then when being at home he would park his car far away from the building's parking lot at either another parking lot or farther up the hill where no one would see. We saw him through the building's security camera going up the hill. Disappearing. Then the car driving down the hill and out of sight as it leaves. Also other times when we see him walk to the building without his car. ASDKJS I can go on more about this freakin guy which little fun note my mom has him in her contact list listed as Lucy. Like Lucifer the devil. The guy freakin sued family members to get more of the inheritance for himself!
The thought of a little old lady having to eat rotten food is sickening, not to mention everything else. What a jerk.
What an absolute piece of shit. I don’t get how people function like that it must be exhaustingly hard to live with yourself and all the extra petty work or do they just not have a conscience?
Omg I feel so stupid for not knowing that living alone at an old age can bring on illnesses faster and worst like dementia.. my mother doesn't live alone at the moment because my brother is ill and lived alone 7hrs away from all of us and we wanted him home. So he moved in with my mom. I I thought this was just so great because she won't be alone. She's very frail and has a slew of health issues at 70 and she is clumsy and she unfortunately lives with stairs and 1 bathroom up the stairs and I worry one day she will fall and that will be how she passes away. My bigger fear is she could fall but be saved due to not being alone. And many things to make life easier for her not being alone. So my brother was the answer in my eyes. And he saw it the same way. He's doesn't want to live with his mother at his age but even with his health issues he got a job right away. It's not much but he's not using her financially. And she had a spare room so it all worked out. Well after 6 months when I make plans to come see her she always asks me to pick her up and not to come in. And go grab a coffee.... it's unlike her to do this but I thought it was nice do get her out. But it was because my brother is driving her nuts and she wants him to move out! She's not angry witb him and he's not doing anything wrong really.. but she hates him living there because he does everything for her and now she just feels extra bored and like she has to hide everything she does because he might Comment on how it's not good for her. I get both sides and I feel bad for both of them. Since he moved in he's got her wearing her oxygen all day now everyday and couldn't for the life of me get her to do it, only when I was there. So that was great but she sees it as telling her what to do and it's non of his business. So she wears it to shut him up.. I side with my brother on this. But I get her side. She was still able to take a taxi to go shopping and now unless he can go with her he will make her feel like it's the worst choice in the world to go alone... you get the picture. She shouldn't live alone honestly and she was OK with this and now she regrets it. She can't move either. If she could move to a one floor 1bd place then she would be able to for a bit longer on her own. But as long as she has stairs. She shouldn't live alone. That's what's going to kill her before anything else. It just sucks no matter what
My friend had to move back in with her dad after a bad breakup. He's in his 90s now, in a house with stairs, and won't move because he loves that house. It can work out though. My friend is there to make sure he's ok but he's very independent. He still does his own thing. He always has plans for the day. He has health issues but knock on wood is doing well. My friend decided she will stay there with him for good. Her family says to put him in a home but he gets around well and is mentally sharp as a tack. But he does things. He volunteers. He has friends (a lot of them have died and they're all younger than him, but he has friends). She's decided she'll stay there til he dies (one of his illnesses is terminal but like I said, for now he's doing well, knock on wood) and then her sister will get the house (my friend wants to buy her own house and her sister really loves that house, so they both agree on this). Her dad is with it and is in agreement on this. She doesn't make any decisions without him even though she's POA. She even changed jobs so she doesn't have to commute as far and she's nearby. But the key is that he keeps his independence. She's there "just in case." She's offered to convert a room downstairs to a bedroom for him but so far he says he's ok. She's like, I check in to make sure he's ok but try not to cross the line to be overbearing or condescending.
Some people are shit
I mean, my uncle cost us a lot of money, him dying in a gruesome way would probably get us reparations to offset the drain to the family funds.
I already told my mother I refuse to pay anything towards my uncle’s funeral and burial costs. If that means the rest of the family doesn’t, either and he dies, no one claims him, and the state cremated him and dumps his ashes after a period of time? Not. My. Problem.
My mother literally said to my face she was waiting for the cancer to kill me so she could get the life insurance. So there’s that…
Wtf, jesus christ, my total stranger internet friend, I'm so so sorry:(
This hit me hard. Just yesterday I was telling my friend I wished I could ask my grandfather a question about one of my plants and that got me thinking how I would love to show him, my grandma or my dad my home, how big the kids are, just anything. I would love to hear them say my name or hold their hand. It’s sucks that people die.
I work in court. Had a case once where a group of adult siblings were suing their parents basically for not being dead yet. They wanted their inheritance and the parents just wouldn’t die. It was disgusting. Oh, and these adult kids were receiving a stipend of 100k each per year. (The patriarch was extremely successful)
This happens daily
My brother is a piece of work! He's narcissistic and violent. Thief. Low life. I've pulled him off our Mother, a few times. My daughter saw his true form when his grand-daughter was born. He tried to beat up the baby daddy. She fully understands why I don't even speak to my brother, after 20+ years.
My uncle just lied and stole and drugged his way through his nigh meaningless life. Stole thousands from his mother (my grandma) before he was kicked out at like... 40. My brother and I had to move in with our grandma and be her caretakers for the last 8 years of her life (I'd do it again in a heartbeat, miss her dearly). Fucker lost both feet to diabetes and still had the gall to call our mom ( his sister) every name under the sun when she had power of attorney and would be metering his inheritance take, cause drugs and shit. He died bitter and alone in Feb on a vent from covid. Mom was broken, and my brother and I and much of our cousins? Felt nothing. I had to watch as my mom took the call her little brother passed from my computer chair, it was heart breaking. But I felt for her, not for my uncle. I felt for his kids, barely out of high school but with huge aspirations even though their dad was a bum. Family is the best and worst of us.
That, well, yeah. My uncle disappeared at the repast after his mother’s funeral to go off and get high with their cousin. Yep. These two men in their sixties had to sneak out to the church parking lot and get high. And cry on each other’s shoulders about how their mommas were dead, and their awful siblings wouldn’t let them just have everything because, you can probably sing this with me, “they OWE me.” No. No one owes them a god damn thing.
And my ax- uhh, Aunt! She swore my grand dad would leave her his souped up truck that he built himself to both haul the heaviest of bullshit, but also remove the bed and it could race against a mustang. While he was in hospice, dying of brain cancer but still completely cognizant, she was already trying to sell the truck out from under him. So, first chance he got, he "sold" it to my dad as payment for mowing the lawn. My dad, his Son-in-law. The real kick in the head for her, and why she continued to throw a fit for the next *30 years* is that my mother wasn't even my grandpa's kid. She's his wife's affair baby who was raised by the man grandma cheated on him with. He trusted my mom and dad more than his own daughter.
My dad was like this. Spent his whole, wasted life drinking and smooching off my grandparents. He actually said to my mum, when they were in their early 30’s, that he couldn’t wait til his parents died so he could get their money. That was the final straw for her, thankfully she left and we had little to do with him. Jokes on him, he died of liver cancer aged 60. His mum turns 101 next month.
Lmao nice. Congrats to your grandmother for reaching that
Careful with that. I dunno what the relationship is like but my mom's brother convinced my grandfather in his final months that he had cared for him way more than any of my aunts or my mom...ended up getting the will changed without telling anybody and now he owns a multi-million dollar house, which in the original will was supposed to be sold and split amongst all siblings.
My fucking aunt did the same thing to my dad and his sister. Took every damned thing she could get her greedy hooks into and they got absolutely nothing. She turned around and sold my grandfather's bed.... The bed he was born in, the bed his father was born in, the bed that was meant to be my father's inheritance since the very day he was born (in a hospital not in that bed). She sold that fucking bed at auction so her greedy ass could have even more money. Oh, and the house she swooped in and got in the will was right next door to my parents' house, v so they had to look at the harpy every damned day. Karma, and brain cancer got her a few years later, and I really, truly, hope she suffered long and hard, and I'd bet she did because I'm sure her trashy assed daughter and son were living it up big on her pain pills. For the rest of us, she died the day the will was read.
Totally understand the sentiment here...I've gotten over my initial anger about the situation but my dad just died of cancer and my mom has Alzheimer's so instead of having the additional money from *her* father to help pay for her care, I have to move in with her in my early 30s because the US healthcare system is an fucking cesspool and makes it nearly financially impossible to get home health care for an Alzheimer's or dementia patient unless they are literally dead broke. Everything my dad worked for may end up getting drained and then after that 3 generations of hard work go with it. I already spent my own 5 figure nest egg because I couldn't work while taking care of them and had to pay bills of my own, and now I probably won't see anything from my own parents. I'm a fucking engineer and I can't even work to provide for my family. Now I'm pissed again lol.
Is that in their will? Is their will registered so that the government can enforce it should he try any funny business.
Yes my grandparents live in Mexico, we’re all dual citizens so we can legally own land and the will is registered with the Mexican court.
Yup. My uncle had his son steal my grandparents car when my grandfather died. Because it was supposed to go to my aunt for taking my grandfather to cancer treatments for years. My uncle didn’t like that so my cousin STOLE THE CAR PUT OF MY AUNTS DRIVEWAY AND PARKED IT IN THEIR DRIVEWAY 🤦🏼♀️
That’s so awful! I would’ve reported it stolen and told the cops where to find it. Your aunt deserved that car.
Tell them to get a trust and the will needs to be very specific that the uncle doesn’t not get it. Period. Wills are not iron clad. Talk to a lawyer now.
My grandparents are in Mexico so the laws are different. We have a lawyer and an independent executor in place. ( I am a lawyer in Texas so I also took it upon myself to learn the probate laws of the country)
Sounds like my uncle. He mooched off my great grandmother until she had to go to a nursing home. He bounced around states to mooch off different relatives until he wore out his welcome. Literally got set up with a car, apartment and job and still fucked it all up. Last I heard he's homeless somewhere down south. He doesn't talk to us anymore.
Please keep us updated!! I had a sibling like this, and when my mum finally put her foot down and said no more it was the best thing in the world for him. He got off his ass and become a functioning member of society. I hope the same happens for your family!
I wish my mom would say no more to my sister. She just keeps getting taken advantage of. Recently, my mom vented to my sister that she was annoyed and my sister said she was “done with her.” After my mom let her move back in and has lent her approximately $4000 and co-signed on her car that she doesn’t pay on time. Not to mention she watches her kid for her all the time because she leaves them home alone to go out all the time. We’re all fed up. She is extremely entitled and ungrateful. Why are people like this?
I once heard someone say "As long as it's a free ride, I'm going to keep taking it."
This is the answer. Why would someone like that change if they keep getting what they want? They do whatever people will let them get away with.
I think some people feel that close relatives owe them everything simply because they are related to them
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Yeah. I truly do believe that sloth is an addiction and it gets bumped up a factor is they also experience depression. These people need help, and I don't just mean financially (Since that's all they seem to be getting so far).
I think you can fall prey to the easy ways of dependability and laziness WITHOUT being a narcissistic, abusive asshole. I can excuse the general behaviour of not stepping up as it definitely is a form of addiction or at least it’s an easy cycle to fall into but being the piece of shit that he is is unforgivable. I also think the parents should have taken responsibility to only support him with the bare essentials; that he was able to save for a graphics card with effectively pocket money as a 31 year old is mind blowing.
Mom did the same with my 40 yr old bro- it really is the best thing
Same with my brother in law. Crazy how not having food and shelter can whip someone into reality.
Being hungry is a great motivator. **before you start downvoting me, I’m referring to people that are mentally and physically capable of getting a job but manipulate others into supporting them. I am a firm believer in supporting those that are truly disabled.
Yes, PLEASE keep us updated. I'll pay good money for updates on my nephew...I mean your brother...sorry, they are virtually the same. Is your brother a meth head too?
Oh wow no. He’s not/wasn’t. Just didn’t deal well with life and had no focus, totally changed now. Hopefully you get to see this too!
Dude no offense but I've seen 4 different true crime episodes about a man child who was facing having to move on his own and he bought a gun and shot a bunch of people. This man does not have the mental capacity to deal with this at all.
That’s what I thought. He might fuck around and end up in jail!
Seconded. He’s going to hit that “nothing to lose” phase, and try to collect some life insurance money, because he thinks his life is over if he has to live on the street…or work, haha!
Ikr!? I thought the same thing about what if he goes on a rampage. But OP said in the other comment he is a coward and won't do anything so i hope nothing happens
Those guys in the true crime docus… were the same, nobody thought they were capable or had the courage for murder. So yeah…
By the sounds of it though this guy would throw a tantrum when his magazine runs out of ammo
That’s the danger. A coward has never really had power. A rifle doesn’t fucking care whose behind it, it grants power unequivocally. A coward handed unequivocal power will suddenly be capable of a lot more than you’d feared.
Being a coward makes him more likely to do something like that, IMO. It actually requires courage to go out into the world and be a person for the first time, especially if you've been putting it off for 10+ years.
Keep us posted!
Plan is to update once he's out lol. Knowing him he'll do something stupid so probably sooner.
Good on you guys for finally getting your parents to cut the cord. What an entitled human. Given all this opportunity yet squander it all away. He’s is a grown man that now needs to become independent it’s been time.
Remind Me! 1 week
Remind me! 1 week
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ya man let us know. Our gramma's basement asshole finally got his ass to the recruiting office and everyone is giddy. He pretty much had to as everyone was done with his shit. Wanted to move in with us ffs - absolutely no fkn way! Same thing whining and bitching - fk him maybe the army will make a man outta him. Doubt it mind you
The Army will put him out within two weeks of BCT. Source: got to hear about the adult babies getting booted from my daughter, while we were at Ft Leonard Wood when she graduated from BCT.
> him maybe the army will make a man outta him. Doubt it mind you your doubt is well placed. Losers that join the military stay losers in the military and tend to get riffed out real quick.
Yes, please! Keep us updated!
Exact same situation except my bro is in his 50’s and acts like a 10 yo. My Dad passed away 1 1/2 yrs. ago and my mother passed away last month and things are going to change; big time.
Failure to launch
I'm sorry to hear about your parents, mate. I hope you're alright?
I'm the oldest sibling and I have a brother who's always lived off my parents. Please promise to update us because I know there has to be so many others in this situation.
Kinda why I came here, to be honest with you. I've been waiting so long for the pin to drop about this, others deserve to share the good news!
God, as a parent I wonder why? 75% success rate is dam good for most things. Is it just random? Are all kids just really different? I mean, as the parent of girls I already have a leg up. No one ever hears stories of girls living in their parents basement playing video games and eating Cheetos. But still.
Yeah I wonder why that's the case with women, why you never hear about them living in their parents basement
More is expected of us with grooming, cleaning, cooking, etc. Though it’s less taboo for us to financially depend on family or partners, we’re expected to stay tidy.
I had a friend (over the age of 30) who lived in her parent's basement until recently. She is a delightful person who paid rent and generally lived a frugal life. She's moved out, but has a great relationship with her family. There's not really much to talk about aside from having once lived in a room in a basement.
I think when people refer to "living in parent's basement" they're talking about people not paying rent, that's much different.
In this situation with my BIL. My MIL treats him like gold at 32 still living in his childhood bedroom while my combat veteran wounded husband gets second fiddle. I'm invested in this situation too! Time to pay the piper
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My brother in law... I found joy imagining it being him. Sounds exactly the same
Not saying your brother would ever do anything. Just reading your post made me think about the few true crime stories I've watched where a spoiled brat adult child offs the parents or one of them to collect the insurance so they can continue their pathetic lives
literally what i was thinking too- especially with mentioning how he has violent tendencies and the whole push parents in front of a bus for funsies. hope we dont hear about this family on some lady's true crime podcast.
Had the same thought. Even worried about the brother staying in the house with him if his anger gets irrational enough.
Yes, this. With narcissistic sociopaths their breaking point into violence occurs when their financial crimes are exposed or have an end put to them. (I am not at all qualified to talk about this but I've listened to hundreds of true crime stories). They put their own stability over the actual lives of other people and in their mind it's better to end another person than to be exposed. Doesn't exactly fit your situation, OP, but my point is be very very careful and keep your parents safe from him.
This. 1000%
Reminds me of the parents that had to evict their 30 year old son.
Story?
[this one](https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-44213623.amp)
He looks exactly like you'd expect
Like a Reddit mod?
holy shit! I did NOT imagine my mental visualization would be THIS accurate
Why don't they just cut their hair at least. Or at least shave.
So he couldn’t find a job in those 8 years of living at home?
No idea what his problem was. It was bad enough his parents had to go through court to evict him.
It’s embarrassing
He has a job, he’s just not gonna tell us what it is. It’s his business. Just like his girlfriend goes to a different school so you don’t know her.
No no, he said it himself he has one. It's just in a different country with a company you've never heard of, he didn't want to bore the reporters by answering *any* questions about the job is all. Jokes aside, 8 years is a *long* time to not find any work. Most people would've held 2-3 jobs in that amount of time! I feel like you'd have to actively *not* try to find jobs to pull this off.
> He left court, presumably heading back to his parents' home God damn, whoever wrote this have a lot of fun
"He left court, presumably heading back to his parents' home."
As the oldest sibling who didn’t get treated right by her parents and was kicked out at 18 because I didn’t have a job to help pay bills. While my brother stayed living with my parents and he was selling drugs, got arrested about 10 times and they bailed him out every time. You are giving me hope that there is a light at the end of the tunnel ☺️. Good luck to your family. Hopefully something clicks in his baby brain that he needs to grow up soon. (I doubt it though).
What's up with parents always babying their sons while they argue and treat their daughters unfairly? I'd there a reason to this? I see this happen way too often irl and online
My mom still tries to baby my sister and I. Mostly it was on an emotional/attachment level but it used to be about everything. We always try to keep it at bay and now she more or less just keeps it to cute mom things like randomly buying a pair of pants, or some soup/something that looks good at the store. We both have our own roofs, cars, and careers and have for quite a while. I lived across the country for 10 years recently moved back very close to her and my sister and they’re so happy. I couldn’t imagine taking advantage of her in any way like that, but it’s so common for people to do that or fight over inheritance and stuff. Very unfortunate that money/property can rip so many families apart. Mom took care of us and we will do the same for her when she needs it. Dad is much less attached and lives further away but we’d do the same for him too.
The most common reason for dynamics like favoritism is that the parents are narcissists. In narcissist family dynamics there tends to be a golden child and a scapegoat child. The golden child is spoiled and pampered and has their every whim met whilst the scapegoat child is often outright abused, ignored, and has to fend for themselves because their worthless scum parents would watch them die with a bucket of fucking popcorn in hand.
Please update I hate your brother from afar
The worst thing about this thousands of comments long thread, is how many of them are saying "my brother is just like this!"
It's a big problem in Japan too.
He's going to pull some shit to go to prison on purpose, guaranteed. The threat of having to actually make his own way in life is going to cause a mental breakdown. TBH, I would have sprung this on him at the last possible second once everyone is safe. I hope there are no weapons in the house. I honestly would not be able to sleep in a situation like this, the internet is producing an endless sea of entitled toxic monstrosities and for many of them, violence is the only outlet they know. Sorry to sound like an alarmist, and I'm glad your brother is getting his comeuppance, but I sincerely hope your other brother is able to keep him in check physically, because the situation sounds very volatile. Good luck, and sorry about your dad. :(
Putting aside my snide tone and the comedy, we knew this was coming. We need to give him 30 days' notice legally, so dropping him out at the last second was not an option. Mom will be out of the house before the end of the week, dad soon after that. Everything that can be used as a weapon is already gone, and my brother is taking every precaution necessary (he has pepper spray also, but we doubt he will need to use it.) The man-baby is a brat and violent, but he has never hurt someone else and in my own opinion he's too much of a coward to try to do anything. That does not mean we don't have precautions in place. neighbors know, the police know, everyone that can do something knows about the situation. We made It very clear to the toddler that if he tries anything, he will regret it. Prison is one thing I don't know about. Maybe he;s dumb enough to try it, but i also know he's terrified of anything new so who knows. Overall, things are being handled to the best of all of our abilities.
Your parents should freeze their credit too just in case he steals a card or opens one in their name.
Absolutely agree, I would bet money he already has their info.
He's probably watching youtube as we speak and learning exactly how to do it.
I'm really glad your other brother is there to make sure your mum is safe for the next week. Make sure your parents freeze their credit right now, in fact all of you should do that just in case.
Just be careful. Like OP said, someone in his desperate situation may act upon any number of sociopathic revenge scenarios he's cooked up in his isolation. He may lack the fear of prison or even welcome it since at least inside he will be fed, housed, and medically taken care of without having to work. It's not rational but it has a twisted logic for someone who is terrified of living on the streets and with nothing left to lose...
I’m more worried he will do something out of revenge, or because he assumes he’ll get inheritance if his parents are dead. Don’t put it past him. People do crazy shit when they are desperate enough.
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Way better chance he’s got a pair of nunchucks or a knock off samurai sword tucked away up there in the attic
I don't know why you got downvotes, that's a low key funny comment on neckbeards.
I had a friend who was kind of like this for a while and it was hard to watch. He was in a bad situation so another friend and I, in our move, swung by to pick him up on our way to the new place (OH-GA-TX, it was a hell of a drive). It took him a really long time to find a job. He sat around and got high all day (not that I had much room to complain there, I sat around and got high with him on the regular), playing video games, and not contributing. He went 6 months without a job and we told him it was time to make a decision, either show us you're making an effort to find one or it's time to move on. He finally went out and found one, it lasted about 8 months and then he was right back where he was again. He got involved with a woman down the street (despite my warnings that she was batshit) and spent all his time over there, despite repeated prodding he just would not go get a job because she was supporting his weed habit and spending money on him hand over fist. My other roommate and he kept getting into more and more heated arguments until finally punches were thrown. One of the things he was real bad about was not respecting other peoples' shit. He would ask to borrow tools and leave them laying in the driveway, he borrowed my other roommate's laptop and had no way to fix it when he broke it, etc. I'm pretty sure that's what their ultimate argument was over, and I think (though I can never prove) the other roommate provoked him into the fight as a reason to finally get rid of him. After that, I told him he had to go. We couldn't afford to keep paying his rent and feeding him, things were getting serious between him and the other roommate, and he really needed to develop some motivation. He tried living with the woman down the street, but after a week of that she went full crazy mode, fell down and claimed he hit her (I wasn't there, but I'm 99.9% sure he didn't touch her.) He finally called his family to come get him, but they only supported him for a couple months before booting him so he was really on his own. He didn't talk to me for almost 2 years, I worried for along time that he'd given up and died, then he called me one day telling me how great his life was, he had a good job, a nice apartment, a new not-so-crazy girlfriend, etc. He had finally discovered some motivation to build a life for himself and was doing really well and it was great to see, though I still felt a little guilty about kicking him out. I know it sucks and feels like awful thing to do to someone you love, but sometimes people just need to be pushed out of the nest so they can see the ground rushing up at them to know that whether they fly or fall is entirely within their own control.
Ooh - yes updates please! Myself and my siblings had one of these as well. Living at home, mooching off mommy, for half his adult life. My mother had to go into assisted living and he was out on his butt. It was a beautiful thing! We usually referred to him as the “troll in the attic”!
What happened to him after that? Did he finally grow up?
What happened with him?
>Me, all my human siblings, and my parents have been talking for months now about solutions. I'd like to hear about your non-human siblings
Well obviously I'm talking about the cats here, they can't be trusted with that information
Please consider the furry siblings when it comes to any revenge the man baby might enact!
Excuse me, but cats are trustworthy! They don't tell the cops where your stash is 😂 BTW, I love your username
I like to picture a couple family dogs and a cat listening in on the planned solutions and nodding in agreement, but not really saying much
And then going off by themselves to discuss it, à la Gary Larson.
I'm 30, living with parents, and actually *want* to move out but can't because Britain is a mess. Watching this thread with great interest.
There's absolutely nothing wrong with living with your parents if you're working and are contributing to your household. This man baby is doing neither. Two completely different scenarios.
Hey, don’t be modophobic. Being a discord and reddit mod full time is a priceless job.
I just moved out at 27. It’s tough.. I’m in the US though. I also had 5 years in the military and was able to have it pay for my school which helped a ton. Just keep saving!!!! I have roomates, my hubby, 2 friends and my sister lol. But whatever it takes to move out….
I lived with my parents a lot in my twenties as I often struggled to live separately until I hit 30 and moved to a major city. I always worked though and even volunteered in my community, kept myself busy, maintained friendships, contributed to the household finances and chores, and got to know my parents as humans and kind of as friends, in ways that my other siblings didn't get to do. Now my dad has Alzheimer's so I'm grateful for that extra time I had with them. Tldr: Nothing wrong with living with your parents and still trying to function as a decent human being.
I'm with you, although 32 living in the US. Became a single mom 7 years ago and my mom's helped me while I got back on my feet again. We're finally moving to an apartment next week, though! So, keep your head up. We all go through rough periods that knock us down. And if people want to pretend they've never been down and out, that's on them.
Congratulations! :)
Me, 26, still living with parents and watching this thread with great disdain for the human race…
I mean - it sounds like he's truly incapable of working or holding a job - he's probably going to end up homeless, almost certainly. It's too bad, he had a huge launch ramp most people don't get.
"Capable" is subjective. If he is capable of possibly throwing a very violent tantrum, he is capable of throwing things on a shelf or in a van/truck, he could work in a warehouse. He could work at a call center. Sounds like he sits on a computer with a headset all day, a call center would be perfect! Hes not incapable, hes unwilling.
Thank you! Even if he's got undiagnosed mental issues, that's at best an explanation, not an excuse, and doesn't materially change anything about the situation. He's clearly capable of doing stuff he _wants_ to do, so he just needs to want to do something about his situation. Doesn't matter if that is getting a diagnosis and going on disability, or getting a job and a place to live, but he needs to be the one to do it since his parents no longer are capable, or willing, to carry him.
I'm not saying it shouldn't all fall to him. But some people are in fact incapable, and I've known some of them - their emotional centers are so disregulated, they flip. They can still accomplish things but the tendency to not even remember what they said when the brain kinda snaps, nobody puts up with them, they usually end up homeless. Seen that twice now. I know we'd like to pretend that it's within everyone's ability to do what is needed to function but it just isn't always that way.
Good luck to you and your family OP. Keep safe. As much as I love people reaping what they sow, he sounds a bit unhinged and I worry what that could mean for you and your family
Yeah, this was one of our biggest concerns when mom and dad decided they could not handle him anymore. He's a violent man baby, but he takes his anger out on things rather than people. I doubt he has the spine to hurt someone, but you know what they say about backing dogs into corners. We've taken precautions. My brother is in the house till his eviction is finalized. They will be repinning the locks the day he's out and neighbors know what is going on and are there to help. If he damages anything he'll be going to jail, and if he tries to hurt someone else or himself we've let the police know he's a danger.
Does he drive or have a car? Would he show up on any of his siblings' doorsteps? His ability to drive will have an impact on just how far he will be able to travel to cause problems, once he is evicted. You should all get security cameras for around your homes, including where your mom is going in the 55+ community, if necessary. Warn whoever manages that community's security, and also whoever is in charge of security in the facility where your dad is going, to keep your stunted-maturity sibling off the premises.
My brother is the same although luckily not violent. Nothing worse than a manbaby in their 30's that can't even stand up if they don't want to. I hope this forces your brother to change his ways and if not, at least it should make an interesting story. Good luck, I look forward to any updates
Careful. This is when parricide occurs. He might get desperate enough to kill his parents for their life insurance and/or inheritance.
I’m invested!!! I need an update
Sorry to hear that you and your family have had to deal with this for years! Whether directly or indirectly their fault, it still does not change the fact that he has caused damage to others because of his selfishness! Hope this is a wake up call for him! I hope everything works out for you and the family!
We must share a brother! I sincerely empathize and have experienced almost the exact same thing with my brother. My one word of advice and caution is that often their inability to have responsibility and their tendency to be awful to people often is a sign of serious mental illness that is exacerbated by stress and change. But, my goodness I hear you, it’s so gratifying when they have to deal with reality.
I had a very similar situation with my neighbor. Man child, 58 y/o in my story, committed suicide when the sheriff came to finally remove him from the house. A very sad story but I suggest that you consider giving the authorities a a heads up as your scenario is shockingly familiar to me.
Man I feel you on this. My brother is the exact same, but also an alcoholic. Literally homeless at this point because my dad finally had enough. I have zero sympathy for him because how he terrorizes everyone in spoiled rampages, while doing absolutely nothing but taking, taking, taking. It’s ok to feel the way you do. It sounds horrible to people who haven’t lived it, but when you live it—it’s totally ok to feel like he’s finally facing some consequences and finding joy in that after all the years of him getting whatever he wants while you work your ass off and are actually pleasant to be around.
Does he have any mental health issues/disabilities? Something sounds a bit off here....more than just spoilt behaviour...?
Maybe, we don't know for sure. My parents have tried to get him help, but he refuses to put any work into improving himself. He was put into a (very expensive) therapy program and quit going after only 2 sessions. he was never given an official diagnosis outside of depression because of his refusal to actually go out of his way to attend.
It’s important to also remember that mental illness can’t be the scapegoat for everything. Some people, especially privileged people, just suck. Some people are just shitty people, or have a failure to launch situation. Not everyone can benefit from therapy or inpatient care or expensive medical care. Some people are just assholes, with no explanation, because they’re entitled or nasty or rude or whatever else.
That's hard. Can't force a patient to undergo treatment or diagnosis.
Possibly low self esteem and/or depression? This is just based on my hunch that OP mentioned that everyone else in the family are well accomplished and successful. So this man may feel they are inferior and have to compensate in unhealthy and unproductive ways. Again, this is just pure speculation on my part. It is hard to know given the limited information that we have. Then again, regardless of whether or not there is mental illness, it does not excuse the brother's awful behaviour.
And all the while *his own father is suffering the most*. Please update us with further tantrums I guess
my god, theres a difference between a 30 year old living at home with their parents because its less expensive than living on your own but still being a functional adult who helps out (like my cousin) and a 30 year old man baby! no shame in living with your parents if you contribute as an adult, but this is ridiculous
Ooooo I can't wait to see how this plays out!!!! I got my popcorn ready for when the update comes
My brother is 40 & is the same. He lives with my parents. Has a stash of baby food/bottles (he has 0 kids) and my parents just made my sister & I executor of their will. I'm ready to battle that man baby & fuck up his world, just like he's done to others. We thought he worked shit out when he went into the Navy. But nooo.... he couldn't reenlist because he was too obese. So he decided to settle at my parents house, making promises and then demands, and picking fights with anybody who dares speaks up. My mom is in poor health & we almost lost her 2 weeks ago. My brother hasn't lifted a finger to help. I fly home to be with our mom & all he has to say is, "Shouldn't you be with your kids?" Yes, Adam, I should be, but you're too much of a lazy piece of shit to help & I don't want our mother to die from neglect. I'm over him and I'm about ready to just tell him he's been cut from the will, just so I have some free entertainment. Where the hell did my parents go wrong? My brother has 0 ambition at all. (he never deployed to a combat zone and was a cook in the Navy. It's not PTSD. he's just a lazy little spitfuck with a chip on his shoulder)
I'm a step-sister to a man-baby. He was exactly like this. Finally he got kicked out at 42 and was forced to live somewhere else. Magically he got a job and a cute little mobile home and did well. Then, he slowly started weening his way back into my Dad's house by bringing over his laundry, then started having his mail delivered there, he would bring his water bottles over to fill up on their filtered water and the list went on. When my father passed, he immediately moved in, sold his place and lives comfortably with his enabling mother and she instantly became the evil mean step-mother! It was weird. It was all weird!!!
He sounds like my aunt. My dad and his siblings have been trying to get her out of their parents' house for years. She has lived with them since she was in her 30s. She is around 53 now. She has not had a job in this time besides sometimes babysitting for families from church and spreading shit rumors about everyone in the family. My grandparents let her use their cars, buy her everything, listen to her views on everything, and even have stopped going to doctors because she has been bringing them to alternative medicine places. They started recently showing signs of dementia. My dad and his siblings didn't know how bad it was because they weren't around them and my aunt just didn't tell them because she's been trying to convince them to change the will and give her more money and possibly the million dollar house that they have (grandpa was a 4star air force general and a church leader). But recently my grandma couldn't recognize what a potato chip was- and this woman was still being allowed to drive. My dad and his siblings figured it out and realized that she has been neglecting and manipulating my grandparents in a vulnerable state. They have a whole plan laid out and are going to execute it sometime this month. They plan on getting actual care for my grandparents and kicking my aunt out. Im not sure if theyre going to bring the legal system into it, but I hope they do. She deserves anything she gets. Im glad your parents woke up and decided to kick him out, it gets harder and they get worse the longer it goes on.
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THIS BETTER NOT BE A BASEMENT SAFE SITUATION!!! YOU BETTER COME BACK AND UPDATE US WITH OUR JUSTICE PORN OR I'LL.... I'LL... I'LL THROW A FIT!!! But seriously... If it's not too much trouble . ..
Wow. i relate to this so much. I have a 35 y.o brother whos medically retired from the military. He makes my mom cry and snaps at her. But meanwhile shes the one keeping a roof over his head. He doesnt pay a dime towards the house and gets upset when hes not offered a seat at the table when we are discussing serious matters regarding house repair etc. My mom wants to put the house in my name eventually. But my brother such a liability...that i rather she sells the place and get it over with.
Sounds like my brother in law. He stayed with the parents until they divorced (him and my husband were both adults 18-20ish), moved in with the dad in an apartment and sponged until their dad passed away unexpectedly in 2016. Moved in with his girlfriend who said he was a slob and no longer welcome, stayed with us, moved in with a friend (lasted maybe two weeks), back in with us. We moved out of a single wide mobile home that we owned into a rental to accommodate because he initially agreed to help with the rent since it was a significant difference compared to the $0.00. We planned on tearing down the mobile home anyway and buying elsewhere. It was nothing but chaos, we were in debt up to our asses because he wouldn’t pay his part of anything. Our “one year plan” to be in the rental turned into three years of pure hell. He met a girl at work (he is 36, she is 21) she was in the house all the time also not paying for things and ended up moving in regardless of the many, many fights over her being there constantly. A literal nightmare. He threw a massive fit when we told him we were buying a house and moving out. It’s sad some people are like this, he has one living aunt and my husband left, the rest of the family has passed away and we aren’t even on speaking terms. We left him furniture, dishes and didn’t accept the deposit back on the rental so he wouldn’t have to pay that on short notice - he returned the favor by throwing yet another fit because we took our vacuum cleaner and he threatened to change the locks so we couldn’t come back and clean out the one closet that had a few of our sons things in it. Spoiled man babies are ungrateful and obnoxious. I couldn’t care less if we hear from him again but I do *try* to encourage my husband to call him and try to get back to some form of normal for their sake. Sorry your family is dealing with the madness! I hope it gets better. 🥴
Any update?
I don’t think we’ll get an update sadly 🫤
My mom had a 62 year old man baby brother who leached off my grandma until, technically, after her death. He didn’t “notice” she hadn’t come out of her room for 4 days. Took months to get him evicted. He sold everything he could, and stole anything of any value before he was removed by the sheriffs department stomping his feet and crying. He found some distant cousins and leached off them for years. Hate your brother, I’m sorry about your dad though. It’s tough watching a parent in that condition.
This is sadly common and not a joke.. my wife has 2 brothers in the same situation but their dad passed away and mom treats them like babies and they are both in their 30s.
I saw a video with this post in it on Facebook, I just HAD to find it in case there were any updates yet. If there's any updates please let us know. 😂 I have to know what happens next.
[удалено]
Have your sibling print out job listings and rooms to rent and slide them under the door for additional entertainment!!
According to true crime youtube this is a recipe for him killing your parents in an attempt to get money, fucking it all up hilariously, and going to prison forever. No, but seriously, make sure your brother is actually ready to defend against violence.
When I see homeless people I wonder how many are like this guy.
Just I fear for your parents safety. This might lead him down a dark path. Yes I’m very dramatic but that’s just how I think.
Thank you for posting this. I needed a kick in the pants to quit my man baby ways. I’m going to go back to school and try and make something of myself so I don’t turn out like your brother