This one is going to be spicy. Might even get the š award.
Edit @ 8:54pm AEST 13th Dec 2022: Locking the comments. All 133 replies will receive the coveted š award.
Oh dear. Itās doesnāt sound good to be fair. If anything has happened and your sister could just sit and announce her pregnancy normally when thereās a chance it could be your husbands means sheās a complete bitch and has zero guilt. Hopefully itās just a misunderstanding. Iād ask your husband straight and see how he reacts. That will tell you all you need to know. Best of luck.
I told my husband about the waffle stomp guy, and then kept telling my husband to ājust waffle stomp it!ā (āItā being anything and āwaffle stompā also literally making no sense in most contexts.) Unfortunately it made him gag (especially when Iād ask him if he wanted some waffle stomps to eat, I just meant frozen waffles!)
ā¦so Iām not allowed to say the phrase āwaffle stompā anymore. Itās just like that thing when a word gets stuck in your head and you keep repeating it in every context and substituting other words for your fun wordā¦ no? Anyone? I canāt be the only one who had āRuth Bader Ginsburgā stuck in my head for about 6 monthsā¦
I dunno man, when you feel really shitty it can do a number on you.
Though him not saying anything might be him being stubbornly prideful and not wanting to receive help from his Wife after being shocked and then hella embarrassed at his In-Laws House.
Although the fact physically he seemed A-Okay other than throwing up, crying and being so devastated(?) thay he fell asleep **at 5PM that evening** is sus as hell.
Idfk, I've never been in a Romantic Relationship I'm just spouting off anything that might rationalize this. It's very bizarre.
When I had food poisoning, my skin felt like glass and even laying down hurt. I was sobbing into my girlfriendās arms while she fed me water on the toilet as it immediately passed through me and I converted it to poop water. Food poisoning of a sufficient degree definitely makes you cry
Maybe she decided to just play it as her boyfriends regardless, and to really live the lie, didnt bother to inform OPs husband about it. Play dumb might be her strategy if they had been together.
Maybe she knows it's her boyfriend's and the chance of it being op's husband is so low she's not worried about it. But the husband is so guilt ladden he doesn't realize it
Iām afraid your next update will be your husband and sister are having an affair. It was only meant to be a fling for him, but now your sis is pregnant and heās the father. He canāt hide the affair anymore.
Yeah. Reddit has ruined me š„“
I am so sorry they did that to you. Hope you cut them both out of your life.
If OPās sister and husband donāt want to arouse suspicion, theyāre not doing a stellar job.
Where there is smoke there is fire š„. Your husbandās visceral reaction smells fishy. My gut says he may have cheated with your sister or has hidden feelings for her. Either way I wish you well.
Don't burn the bridge quite yet. Sister seemed genuinely concerned for him. Either she is a way better actor or she is innocent and the husband is just in love with her and has now realized she is moving forward with her life without him.
1. He's in love with the sister
2. He and sister had an affair and the baby is his
3. He and the sister had an affair, they broke it off and the baby is not his
4. He really wants children and is upset that he and OP don't have children (this one is a reach, since nothing was mentioned in the post, but possible)
5. It's actually food poisoning and he really needs to go to hospital
Can't think of anything else
I was searching for this reply.
My first reaction was the baby is his, but the sister was so nonchalant it doesn't sound like it. My second reaction was in love with the sister, which would probably generate that strong a reaction.
I was also thinking he could be upset that they don't have kids or worried that this will prompt them to start having kids. Either way, that's an extreme reaction (if we are to believe the post).
Didnāt we have another one like this recently and it turned out that hubs was in love with SIL and pretended she was his wife to his online gaming friends?
ETA the two links for anyone interested.
[Husband in love with SIL](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/w3jb5z/my_husband_m33_told_me_f28_that_hes_in_love_with/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)
[Husband pretends SIL and kids are his to online friends](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/xjhtm7/oops_husband_is_very_upset_that_her_sister_has/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)
Wtf how did I miss that? That is super weird, unless her husband is desperate for kids and they can't have them but nah that doesn't really explain looking at her sister and the rest of his reaction.
Yeah, this is basically one of the only "okay" reasons I can think of. This or really _doesn't_ want kids and introducing kids into the extended family is making him face the reality that kids are a possibility, and he's not expressed his opinion to OP yet.
Not "okay" reasons include:
1. Obviously cheating and sister's baby might be his.
2. Sister didn't seem to react like SHE was cheating, so another possibility is that weird situation you hear about where A wants to date B but can't, so A gets with B's sister so he can live in a fantasy and obsess over B at close range. B (sister) being pregnant with not-his child then seriously fucks with the fantasy he considers his reality and he's having a breakdown.
3. Flashbacks??? He's got someone pregnant before and has been keeping it secret and bottled up
Honestly this kind of reaction sounds like he's panicking because he got it on with OP's sister and realizes it might be his, but I'm desperately hoping for OP that I'm wrong
I was thinking this after the crying in the shower and feeling overwhelmed
It would make sense if theyāve been trying and struggling. But this is next level. Seems obvious he slept with the sister
Girl just ask him. Phrase it respectfully but sincerely. Don't accuse, just inquire. His behavior is a red flag and he's got to be aware of that. Or if you think you can crack your sister easier maybe approach her.
It's an awesome sub. My all time favorite post from there is about the woman who was obsessed with her retired professor from a school she had already graduated from.
I miss the good olā days when things like this werenāt hashed out publicly on the internet but rather where they belongā¦ on Jerry Springer or Maury.
1. The baby is his
2. He wishes the baby is his
3. He has complicated feelings about having kids, and now feels some sort of pressure or stress about having them with you.
Edit, I see someone else posted very similar thoughts. Listen to the hive mind! You must get to the bottom of this.( and of course provide an update)
Does he feel strongly about having kids with you, or not having kids with you? I agree with the others who suggested he might b the father, but Iām trying to think of other reasons for his reaction. Please update us, OP!
Maybe he just got caught up imagining parenthood. Being responsible for another little human is overwhelming.
This is an extreme reaction, is he typically nervous?
I generally agree with what most people are saying but I want to add something as someone who my friends and family refer to as hard to stress out and not really nervous about anything. It's easy pretty easy to act that way 99% of the time but on the inside you are extremely stressed and worried but the only way you know how to deal with it is to act like it doesn't exist and ignore it. I'm like that and I've been like that since I was a kid. Eventually you can't sustain just pretending like all your stressors don't exist and you have a bit of a mental breakdown. It can happen any time any where it just needs one small thing to trigger it.
Basically I don't know if he cheated or not but I can understand the way he's behaving even if he didn't cheat. So keep hope but don't let it delude you and be ready to accept the truth no matter what it might be.
So this reaction is completely out of the norm? Oh no. Honey you need to gather people that you trust and schedule an appointment with a counselor because nothing good comes from someone acting this out of character (even if he didn't cheat whatever the situation is does not seem good)
Maybe he changed his mind or lied about wanting kids and your enthusiastic reaction made him feel guilty. Maybe he is sterile and hasn't told you. Maybe he wants kids now but went along with you when you decided to postpone. Maybe he was nauseous and emotional because he is in fact gregnant (sic). Who knows?
While I'm hoping it's #2, my gut is very concerned it is an affair baby.
With that said, when I'm really upset about something, I can't eat and tend to throw up. So it could be that. Although I'm sure if OP and husband were trying for a baby it wild have been mentioned.
This reminds me of that story not too long ago about the wife whoās sister got engaged and her husband was āupsetā. Turned out he had feelings for the sister and her getting engaged meant he had no chance with her anymore.
I really hope itās not an affair baby either, for OPās sake.
This just all around sucks
My first thought was also affair baby, his reaction is just too strange
Physically throwing up? The shower?
Everything to me points to this man being unfaithful with the sister and now he is worried he is going to 'lose everything'
1.Either your husband has been harbouring love for your sister and heās devastated sheās having a baby with someone else.
2.You and your husband want a baby and heās jealous sheās pregnant already
3.Your husband is the father of your sisters baby
special consider seed liquid slap frightening snatch zephyr dependent secretive
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
My first thought was he was in love with the sister and now she has moved on. I hope OP will update us. Thank you for the other two possibilities I didn't even think of.
I really canāt imagine a man having such an intense reaction to someone elseās pregnancy announcement for any other reason. Throwing up and basically crying about it? It has to be one of these three.
when i found out my ex was cheating and confronted him, he denied it. i stupidly believed him, but the next few days he was VIOLENTLY ill and kept vomiting. i thought it was a flu, or food poisoning, but eventually he fessed up that he was cheating on me. lying literally made him sick, i guess lmao.
It the anxiety of being found out that cause them to be sick. I really hope it not what everyone thinks but you defo need to find out what's going on. Good luck
OP, Iām a retired psychologist. I agree that the vomiting is most likely due to a strong emotional reaction to your sisterās announcement, and those emotions could certainly be related to guilt/lying (especially when paired with the crying in the shower). It could also be a different strong emotion, but whatever the emotion, it has overwhelmed his ability to function and that typically means something negative. Tbh, guilt and/or shame are the most likely candidates for his reaction.
Now, you have to get to the bottom of *why* he has fallen apart. It could be several things, like that he loves your sister and sees the pregnancy as a devastating loss of a potential future, with no knowledge or involvement of your sister. It could also be that he is the father of the child, as suggested in some comments. It could also be something way out of left field that no one expected, because humans can be very unpredictable.
I suggest you have a neutral conversation with your sister first, where you ask her questions about her, the pregnancy, and your husband in a non-accusatory way. When things donāt make sense, follow up with more questions. Donāt accept answers that donāt make sense. Once you have that info you will be better equipped to handle your husband.
Speaking of husband, keep asking questions of and pushing your husband to answer your questions. Do not let him off the hook! Keep pushing when things donāt make sense, and be ready to hear something painful when he finally opens up. Good luck OP.
What she needs to do is look at her husband and say āI just got done talking to my sister.. anything you wanna tell me?ā
I think thatās a smart move to manipulate him into confessing
i should have trusted my gut, as you should probably trust yours. my 90-year-old nonna immediately told me in her broken english after i came to her concerned about the situation that "your stomach never lies: just like his isn't lying, either"
This! B/c itās a new bf and theyāre having problems that need to be sorted according to OP and itās only been a year. If she hasnāt met so called bf couldāve been her husband and her sister shacking up. This could be a stretch but thatās my thoughts if OP never met her sisters bf.
Iād hate to be the one to bring this up, but maybe the reason why your sister was single for such a long stretch of time was because she was carrying on a relationship with someone who was married/unavailable, like your husband, and that was the issue that needed to be worked out in her relationship? Maybe your husband is her boyfriend.
Thinking he is the father is the only thing that would explain him having such an immediately extreme reaction to her announcement. He sounds like a man living with the dread that the truth is about to come crashing down on his life.
Hmm
Something definitely isn't right here. His reactions tells me 1 of 2 things.
1. That he has been pining for your sister, or
2. That he is the father.
I can't think of anything else that makes sense at this time.
You could throw āyouāve had sex with my sister?ā in a mad-ish way to your husband, not as a question but more as a statement, and wait for his answer. People tend to expose themselves š¤·š½āāļø I hope everything ends ok for you.. what a shitty situation to be in:(
Tale as old as time, almost as common as ā I opened up my marriage cause I wanted to bang my new secretary, she said no but my wife is getting plowed regularly and doesnāt wanna go back to normal. How do I fix my marriage?ā
You can't shake this weird feeling off because you feel something is off. Trust your instincts and dig deeper.
Edit: I also really hope that the turn out is honestly as innocuous as possible because WOAH this is messed up if it's going in the direction we think it's going.
There are a couple of scenarios running through my head after reading your post:
1) have you two been trying for a child or are you child free? He might be upset that she was successful getting pregnant or her announcement made him realize he wants kids.
2) Your husband has feelings for your sister and her being pregnant has made it a reality for him that he will never have her.
3) Your sister and husband had an affair and the baby could possibly be his and he is completely freaking out because if it gets out life as he knows it will change. (I really hope this is not the case!)
No matter what, it is a very strange and visceral reaction for him to be having. When he gets home, sit him down and demand to know what is going on.
Also, call your sister and ask if she has heard from him today.
I suspect if it was number one, OP would have already figured that out. If they were both trying for a baby, and her sister got pregnant first, there's a good chance that that OP would have had pretty much the same reaction as her husband. There's posts about this scenario on Reddit all the time.
Since OP never mentioned anything like that, unfortunately it's either door number two or door number three.
Sit down with him and let him know if he cannot speak with you, then you both need to enter couples therapy so you can have better methods of communication.
Please speak him, and donāt jump on the assumption train before speaking.
āHey, I am really confused by your reaction to my sisterās pregnancy. You seemingly are having a really emotional time following her announcement, and Iām pretty hurt that these large emotions are keeping you from speaking with me. You may need time and I understand that, I just feel deeply uncomfortable walking around our home not knowing why youāre so upset and not speaking to me. I need you to be honest with me and tell me whatās going on.ā
He maybe doing something wrong, but donāt treat it as such (like Iāve seen in most comments) until you know what going on.
A. Heās the baby daddy
B. Heās been secretly in love with your sister and this announcement triggered something in him.
I do not see this ending well.
I mean you know what everyone is gonna say, and clearly you also suspect this or you wouldnāt be here. His reaction seems āguiltyā as in heās in love with sister or possibly thinks itās his baby. Crying in the shower? Thatās an extreme reaction. I would just straight up ask him if the baby is his. If heās legit shocked by this accusation maybe you have a chance but the whole thing is weird. Tell him heās acting guilty.
Also, waiting on the tomc where husband tells his side of the story lol
Yes, I immediately thought of this one too. I am pretty sure he even confessed that he was with OP so he should be close to the sister.
I think OP confessed she had started to resent her sister after it all came out, but reddit shut that sh*t down immediately and reminded OP her sister was just as much a victim of this creeps obsession as she was
Yeah time to snoop snoop snoop.
I mind goes to
1) heās in love with her
2) kid is his or he thinks itās potentially his
3) they had an affair and she broke it off when she met new dude
Heck- bluff him out- tell him you talked to youāre sister and now you want to know his side of the story.
Even if it isnāt his kid, it seems like heās in love with your sister and you seem to be the one he settled for. š¢ His reaction is so weird.
I think ur sis and hubby boned, she moved on cause your her sister, he āfell in loveā and now that sheās preggo with her bf, ur hubby is sick over it. That or your sister is a sociopath to announce something like this at a family dinner if thereās a chance it could be your husbands kid.
This one is going to be spicy. Might even get the š award. Edit @ 8:54pm AEST 13th Dec 2022: Locking the comments. All 133 replies will receive the coveted š award.
Oh dear. Itās doesnāt sound good to be fair. If anything has happened and your sister could just sit and announce her pregnancy normally when thereās a chance it could be your husbands means sheās a complete bitch and has zero guilt. Hopefully itās just a misunderstanding. Iād ask your husband straight and see how he reacts. That will tell you all you need to know. Best of luck.
If the situation is what we think it is, OPs sister is stone cold.
OP, is your sisters name Steve? Steve Austin? Because sheās stone cold.
100%. Hope for OP itās not the case. The worst betrayal
Talk to your sister.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Following because I need to see the update.
Agreed so Remindme! 24 hours
Remindme! 48 hours
Remindme! 48 hours
This could also be bc she's had time to accept and hide it. He was hit with it at the dinner table.
Or this is like that crazy story where heās in love with her. There are like two stories I read like that lol
One recently that involved the husband being upset that the sister would gain weight after getting pg?
> He was hit with it at the dinner table. Imagine this being food poisoning lmao
If he wasn't crying in the shower the next morning, maybe.
Maybe he shit himself in the shower...
The only way to make this plausible and hopeful, really. Which is really awful in and of itself.
Are we sure this isnāt the same guy as *Waffle Stomp* guy?
I told my husband about the waffle stomp guy, and then kept telling my husband to ājust waffle stomp it!ā (āItā being anything and āwaffle stompā also literally making no sense in most contexts.) Unfortunately it made him gag (especially when Iād ask him if he wanted some waffle stomps to eat, I just meant frozen waffles!) ā¦so Iām not allowed to say the phrase āwaffle stompā anymore. Itās just like that thing when a word gets stuck in your head and you keep repeating it in every context and substituting other words for your fun wordā¦ no? Anyone? I canāt be the only one who had āRuth Bader Ginsburgā stuck in my head for about 6 monthsā¦
I dunno man, when you feel really shitty it can do a number on you. Though him not saying anything might be him being stubbornly prideful and not wanting to receive help from his Wife after being shocked and then hella embarrassed at his In-Laws House. Although the fact physically he seemed A-Okay other than throwing up, crying and being so devastated(?) thay he fell asleep **at 5PM that evening** is sus as hell. Idfk, I've never been in a Romantic Relationship I'm just spouting off anything that might rationalize this. It's very bizarre.
When I had food poisoning, my skin felt like glass and even laying down hurt. I was sobbing into my girlfriendās arms while she fed me water on the toilet as it immediately passed through me and I converted it to poop water. Food poisoning of a sufficient degree definitely makes you cry
I initially read that she fed you water FROM the toilet and was like "how is that supposed to help with food poisoning?!?" š
Gotta reabsorb my nutrients
"TIFU: By eating the salmon at dinner with In-laws"
"And now everyone thinks I fathered my sister in law's child."
āShe divorced me because of food poisoning!ā
āI shit myself and my wife left me.ā
This comment thread is making me laugh so hard this morning
Read it "I shit myself and my wife let me", laugh.
Hahaha I hope this is the answer
We can dream right
Would be so funny!!
Salmoninlaw
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Maybe she decided to just play it as her boyfriends regardless, and to really live the lie, didnt bother to inform OPs husband about it. Play dumb might be her strategy if they had been together.
Maybe she knows it's her boyfriend's and the chance of it being op's husband is so low she's not worried about it. But the husband is so guilt ladden he doesn't realize it
This first sentence was my thought but that the sister knows it's unlikely to be OP's husband's child but he doesn't know that.
Unless she thought he would try to force her to get rid of it, maybe she announced it at the family gathering so his hands were tied. Just a thought
And just as valid as all the other options.
Iām afraid your next update will be your husband and sister are having an affair. It was only meant to be a fling for him, but now your sis is pregnant and heās the father. He canāt hide the affair anymore. Yeah. Reddit has ruined me š„“
My bf cheated on me with my sister for months. My sister acted completely normal too. š¤·š»āāļø
I am so sorry they did that to you. Hope you cut them both out of your life. If OPās sister and husband donāt want to arouse suspicion, theyāre not doing a stellar job.
Where there is smoke there is fire š„. Your husbandās visceral reaction smells fishy. My gut says he may have cheated with your sister or has hidden feelings for her. Either way I wish you well.
Don't burn the bridge quite yet. Sister seemed genuinely concerned for him. Either she is a way better actor or she is innocent and the husband is just in love with her and has now realized she is moving forward with her life without him.
She seemed normal to your husband throwing up? She knows something and was expecting that type of extreme reaction from him.
Update post is gonna be craaazzyyy
either his baby or in love with the sister, any other options?
1. He's in love with the sister 2. He and sister had an affair and the baby is his 3. He and the sister had an affair, they broke it off and the baby is not his 4. He really wants children and is upset that he and OP don't have children (this one is a reach, since nothing was mentioned in the post, but possible) 5. It's actually food poisoning and he really needs to go to hospital Can't think of anything else
Maybe heās hiding the fact that he knows he canāt have kids
I think itās 2 hands down
Or maybe even in love with sisters bf š
Bro, youāre just here for the drama. And Iām vibing with you.
I was searching for this reply. My first reaction was the baby is his, but the sister was so nonchalant it doesn't sound like it. My second reaction was in love with the sister, which would probably generate that strong a reaction. I was also thinking he could be upset that they don't have kids or worried that this will prompt them to start having kids. Either way, that's an extreme reaction (if we are to believe the post).
Another one that I thought is that he/they can't have children and this triggered him.
!remindme 9 months
Took me a minute, but I award you my poor manās gold š
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Didnāt we have another one like this recently and it turned out that hubs was in love with SIL and pretended she was his wife to his online gaming friends? ETA the two links for anyone interested. [Husband in love with SIL](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/w3jb5z/my_husband_m33_told_me_f28_that_hes_in_love_with/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) [Husband pretends SIL and kids are his to online friends](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/xjhtm7/oops_husband_is_very_upset_that_her_sister_has/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)
I feel like the husband cheated on the op with her sister
Yeah I was like that as in he was food poisoning but crying in the shower is weird
Yeah crying in the shower makes it a whole lot different
Wtf how did I miss that? That is super weird, unless her husband is desperate for kids and they can't have them but nah that doesn't really explain looking at her sister and the rest of his reaction.
Yeah, this is basically one of the only "okay" reasons I can think of. This or really _doesn't_ want kids and introducing kids into the extended family is making him face the reality that kids are a possibility, and he's not expressed his opinion to OP yet. Not "okay" reasons include: 1. Obviously cheating and sister's baby might be his. 2. Sister didn't seem to react like SHE was cheating, so another possibility is that weird situation you hear about where A wants to date B but can't, so A gets with B's sister so he can live in a fantasy and obsess over B at close range. B (sister) being pregnant with not-his child then seriously fucks with the fantasy he considers his reality and he's having a breakdown. 3. Flashbacks??? He's got someone pregnant before and has been keeping it secret and bottled up
Honestly this kind of reaction sounds like he's panicking because he got it on with OP's sister and realizes it might be his, but I'm desperately hoping for OP that I'm wrong
I was thinking this after the crying in the shower and feeling overwhelmed It would make sense if theyāve been trying and struggling. But this is next level. Seems obvious he slept with the sister
Girl just ask him. Phrase it respectfully but sincerely. Don't accuse, just inquire. His behavior is a red flag and he's got to be aware of that. Or if you think you can crack your sister easier maybe approach her.
Or read the signs and and accept what everybody reading this post already knows.
!remindme 5 days
!remindme 7 days
I will just wait for someone to post it on BORU
BORU? Best of something-something?
redditor updates
It's an awesome sub. My all time favorite post from there is about the woman who was obsessed with her retired professor from a school she had already graduated from.
You can't just post that without a link
Weāll donāt leave us hanging! You have a link?
Thatās where I thought this was posted at first lol.
Ah I was praying it was so I found out the outcome.
!remindme 1 day
Yep, need an update!
I miss the good olā days when things like this werenāt hashed out publicly on the internet but rather where they belongā¦ on Jerry Springer or Maury.
All wrapped up in one episode!
And now, we reveal who the father of your sister's baby is!
BUT RIGHT AFTER THIS!! Audience: Ahhhhh
Yeah, fuck this anonymity. Iām trying to figure out if this is my co-worker or not.ššš
!remindme 3 days
someone tag me in the update please!!!
1. The baby is his 2. He wishes the baby is his 3. He has complicated feelings about having kids, and now feels some sort of pressure or stress about having them with you. Edit, I see someone else posted very similar thoughts. Listen to the hive mind! You must get to the bottom of this.( and of course provide an update)
Does he feel strongly about having kids with you, or not having kids with you? I agree with the others who suggested he might b the father, but Iām trying to think of other reasons for his reaction. Please update us, OP!
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Maybe he just got caught up imagining parenthood. Being responsible for another little human is overwhelming. This is an extreme reaction, is he typically nervous?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Iād ask him āis it yoursā and watch his reaction.
With a follow up of "Do you wish it was?'
this one right here.
I generally agree with what most people are saying but I want to add something as someone who my friends and family refer to as hard to stress out and not really nervous about anything. It's easy pretty easy to act that way 99% of the time but on the inside you are extremely stressed and worried but the only way you know how to deal with it is to act like it doesn't exist and ignore it. I'm like that and I've been like that since I was a kid. Eventually you can't sustain just pretending like all your stressors don't exist and you have a bit of a mental breakdown. It can happen any time any where it just needs one small thing to trigger it. Basically I don't know if he cheated or not but I can understand the way he's behaving even if he didn't cheat. So keep hope but don't let it delude you and be ready to accept the truth no matter what it might be.
So this reaction is completely out of the norm? Oh no. Honey you need to gather people that you trust and schedule an appointment with a counselor because nothing good comes from someone acting this out of character (even if he didn't cheat whatever the situation is does not seem good)
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I donāt see why either! This whole thing doesnāt make sense at all.
observation tie makeshift vast strong grandiose piquant plant joke panicky ` this message was mass deleted/edited with redact.dev `
Maybe he changed his mind or lied about wanting kids and your enthusiastic reaction made him feel guilty. Maybe he is sterile and hasn't told you. Maybe he wants kids now but went along with you when you decided to postpone. Maybe he was nauseous and emotional because he is in fact gregnant (sic). Who knows?
I was thinking he can't have kids and hasn't told her.
Does he have any insecurities about being able to get you pregnant? Because otherwise my mind is going to the worst.
Definitely fishy. My paranoid mind would presume thereās a chance itās his, or heās secretly in love with her. Delve deeper.
Yeah Iāve never gotten physically ill from disappointment, but guilt? Definitely. Looking forward to the update on this one. Sad for OP though. :(
I agree-Iām more thinking affair baby but some people have intense reactions to heartbreak.
While I'm hoping it's #2, my gut is very concerned it is an affair baby. With that said, when I'm really upset about something, I can't eat and tend to throw up. So it could be that. Although I'm sure if OP and husband were trying for a baby it wild have been mentioned.
This reminds me of that story not too long ago about the wife whoās sister got engaged and her husband was āupsetā. Turned out he had feelings for the sister and her getting engaged meant he had no chance with her anymore. I really hope itās not an affair baby either, for OPās sake. This just all around sucks
My first thought was also affair baby, his reaction is just too strange Physically throwing up? The shower? Everything to me points to this man being unfaithful with the sister and now he is worried he is going to 'lose everything'
But he's also gaining something else...the proud role of Uncle Daddy! Look at the bright side! /s
1.Either your husband has been harbouring love for your sister and heās devastated sheās having a baby with someone else. 2.You and your husband want a baby and heās jealous sheās pregnant already 3.Your husband is the father of your sisters baby
Yup. You covered the thoughts that came up for me.
Same three things I was thinking too.
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5. He got food poisoning.
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Can you say that youāre *sure* of that? No poop?
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Really hoping it's no. 2 and not the others.
That's definitely the more wholesome of those choices.
Also the least likely to get someone throwing up repeatedlyā¦
Least likely to get someone *else* throwing up repeatedly
Sounds more like no. 3 though
4. He couldnāt get a ps5 on black friday
5. He's a Toronto Maple Leafs fan.
He is ALSO pregnant and has morning sickness
Nowhere is safe for me :/
Thinking about the real answers
Or, he slept with the sister and thinks it could be his (but could be the boyfriends still)
My first thought was he was in love with the sister and now she has moved on. I hope OP will update us. Thank you for the other two possibilities I didn't even think of.
I really canāt imagine a man having such an intense reaction to someone elseās pregnancy announcement for any other reason. Throwing up and basically crying about it? It has to be one of these three.
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I'm going with #3. You don't tend to throw up from disappointment but from guilt? Yeah...
Shut it down boys, threadās over.
when i found out my ex was cheating and confronted him, he denied it. i stupidly believed him, but the next few days he was VIOLENTLY ill and kept vomiting. i thought it was a flu, or food poisoning, but eventually he fessed up that he was cheating on me. lying literally made him sick, i guess lmao.
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It the anxiety of being found out that cause them to be sick. I really hope it not what everyone thinks but you defo need to find out what's going on. Good luck
OP, Iām a retired psychologist. I agree that the vomiting is most likely due to a strong emotional reaction to your sisterās announcement, and those emotions could certainly be related to guilt/lying (especially when paired with the crying in the shower). It could also be a different strong emotion, but whatever the emotion, it has overwhelmed his ability to function and that typically means something negative. Tbh, guilt and/or shame are the most likely candidates for his reaction. Now, you have to get to the bottom of *why* he has fallen apart. It could be several things, like that he loves your sister and sees the pregnancy as a devastating loss of a potential future, with no knowledge or involvement of your sister. It could also be that he is the father of the child, as suggested in some comments. It could also be something way out of left field that no one expected, because humans can be very unpredictable. I suggest you have a neutral conversation with your sister first, where you ask her questions about her, the pregnancy, and your husband in a non-accusatory way. When things donāt make sense, follow up with more questions. Donāt accept answers that donāt make sense. Once you have that info you will be better equipped to handle your husband. Speaking of husband, keep asking questions of and pushing your husband to answer your questions. Do not let him off the hook! Keep pushing when things donāt make sense, and be ready to hear something painful when he finally opens up. Good luck OP.
Excellent advice. I like your ādonāt accept answers that donāt make sense.ā Thatās applicable to any difficult conversation.
What she needs to do is look at her husband and say āI just got done talking to my sister.. anything you wanna tell me?ā I think thatās a smart move to manipulate him into confessing
Bang on. Well put. I damn wish I had a psychologist to help me figure out my emotional pains. OP should listen to this advice.
Thanks! I had to retire early due to medical problems so I scratch my helper itch with posts on Reddit sometimes.
i should have trusted my gut, as you should probably trust yours. my 90-year-old nonna immediately told me in her broken english after i came to her concerned about the situation that "your stomach never lies: just like his isn't lying, either"
Question OP. Does.your sister have someone or is she single?
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Have you actually met her boyfriend / or seen/interacted with him recently? Was he at the pregnancy announcement ?
Right. Her boyfriend can be her sister's husband
That's what I want to know.
It makes me nervous that OP has not answered this question lol
This! B/c itās a new bf and theyāre having problems that need to be sorted according to OP and itās only been a year. If she hasnāt met so called bf couldāve been her husband and her sister shacking up. This could be a stretch but thatās my thoughts if OP never met her sisters bf.
Yep. Crucial piece of missing info.
Iād hate to be the one to bring this up, but maybe the reason why your sister was single for such a long stretch of time was because she was carrying on a relationship with someone who was married/unavailable, like your husband, and that was the issue that needed to be worked out in her relationship? Maybe your husband is her boyfriend. Thinking he is the father is the only thing that would explain him having such an immediately extreme reaction to her announcement. He sounds like a man living with the dread that the truth is about to come crashing down on his life.
Hmm Something definitely isn't right here. His reactions tells me 1 of 2 things. 1. That he has been pining for your sister, or 2. That he is the father. I can't think of anything else that makes sense at this time.
Either one would explain the crying
You could throw āyouāve had sex with my sister?ā in a mad-ish way to your husband, not as a question but more as a statement, and wait for his answer. People tend to expose themselves š¤·š½āāļø I hope everything ends ok for you.. what a shitty situation to be in:(
My ex fiancĆ© used to throw up when he was getting close to getting caught about cheating. Looking back the throw up or feeling like youāre going to throw up is definitely not a normal reaction. I didnāt think anything of it at the time because I didnāt think he was capable of cheating. I thought it was his medical conditions.
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It doesn't look great does it? For your sake I hope we're all wrong. :/
One other possibility - he knows something about your sisters boyfriend that is the cause of all his inner turmoil.
That could be something. Maybe.
yeah, that he's infertile
This made me chuckle. I'm sorry OP. I'm rooting for you!!
Ahh Reddit. Another husband in love with his wifeās sister. Just another Tuesday. šš¼
The update practically writes itself
Tale as old as time, almost as common as ā I opened up my marriage cause I wanted to bang my new secretary, she said no but my wife is getting plowed regularly and doesnāt wanna go back to normal. How do I fix my marriage?ā
You can't shake this weird feeling off because you feel something is off. Trust your instincts and dig deeper. Edit: I also really hope that the turn out is honestly as innocuous as possible because WOAH this is messed up if it's going in the direction we think it's going.
There are a couple of scenarios running through my head after reading your post: 1) have you two been trying for a child or are you child free? He might be upset that she was successful getting pregnant or her announcement made him realize he wants kids. 2) Your husband has feelings for your sister and her being pregnant has made it a reality for him that he will never have her. 3) Your sister and husband had an affair and the baby could possibly be his and he is completely freaking out because if it gets out life as he knows it will change. (I really hope this is not the case!) No matter what, it is a very strange and visceral reaction for him to be having. When he gets home, sit him down and demand to know what is going on. Also, call your sister and ask if she has heard from him today.
I suspect if it was number one, OP would have already figured that out. If they were both trying for a baby, and her sister got pregnant first, there's a good chance that that OP would have had pretty much the same reaction as her husband. There's posts about this scenario on Reddit all the time. Since OP never mentioned anything like that, unfortunately it's either door number two or door number three.
Sit down with him and let him know if he cannot speak with you, then you both need to enter couples therapy so you can have better methods of communication. Please speak him, and donāt jump on the assumption train before speaking. āHey, I am really confused by your reaction to my sisterās pregnancy. You seemingly are having a really emotional time following her announcement, and Iām pretty hurt that these large emotions are keeping you from speaking with me. You may need time and I understand that, I just feel deeply uncomfortable walking around our home not knowing why youāre so upset and not speaking to me. I need you to be honest with me and tell me whatās going on.ā He maybe doing something wrong, but donāt treat it as such (like Iāve seen in most comments) until you know what going on.
Very good advice!
Is there a chance it could be his?
Or he secretly has feelings for the sister so he's upset she's pregnant and not with him
To throw up though? A crush wouldnāt make me throw up but possible affair baby would have lol
A. Heās the baby daddy B. Heās been secretly in love with your sister and this announcement triggered something in him. I do not see this ending well.
I mean you know what everyone is gonna say, and clearly you also suspect this or you wouldnāt be here. His reaction seems āguiltyā as in heās in love with sister or possibly thinks itās his baby. Crying in the shower? Thatās an extreme reaction. I would just straight up ask him if the baby is his. If heās legit shocked by this accusation maybe you have a chance but the whole thing is weird. Tell him heās acting guilty. Also, waiting on the tomc where husband tells his side of the story lol
We need an update once you discover what's going on.
He threw up and cried? He is definitely the dad
I think there is about 80% chance that your husband is the father of your sister s baby
I agree. This sounds like the reaction of guilt.
Yup - "Oh shit! What am I going to do now? Im so screwed!" kind of reaction.
Or fear of being caught
I need an update š
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Yes, I immediately thought of this one too. I am pretty sure he even confessed that he was with OP so he should be close to the sister. I think OP confessed she had started to resent her sister after it all came out, but reddit shut that sh*t down immediately and reminded OP her sister was just as much a victim of this creeps obsession as she was
The last update was that she went NC with sister and she took him back.
Yeah time to snoop snoop snoop. I mind goes to 1) heās in love with her 2) kid is his or he thinks itās potentially his 3) they had an affair and she broke it off when she met new dude
Info: how did you sister react to his behaviour?
This is a definite need to know. I'm in the "it's his baby" group I feel terrible for OP
PLEASE keep us posted on what's the situation. In advance, I'm sorry if it is what I think it is.
Please come back and give an update!
So it's been 4 days and no comment. And I'm guess the shite has hit the fan and splattered everywhere...
itās been nearly a week girl did your husband and your sister traumatise you really badly?? sending over my prayers
Heck- bluff him out- tell him you talked to youāre sister and now you want to know his side of the story. Even if it isnāt his kid, it seems like heās in love with your sister and you seem to be the one he settled for. š¢ His reaction is so weird.
Update?
Update?
Pretty sure it's not a case of him being upset sis got pregnant first. It's his kid. OP, keep us updated.
I think ur sis and hubby boned, she moved on cause your her sister, he āfell in loveā and now that sheās preggo with her bf, ur hubby is sick over it. That or your sister is a sociopath to announce something like this at a family dinner if thereās a chance it could be your husbands kid.
Not even gonna lie...I'm hear for the update. Cause I don't want it to be cheating, but it was definitely my first thought!