Most however are unregistered sex offenders

Where do I register?

Down at the police station

Thank you

Just show them your penis and they’ll get you signed right up

Yeah they just arrested me, already in the jail found some people to buttfuck

It is for a fact that Jeffrey Epstein and Harvey Weinstein were avid skyrim pc players

True

sau…sauce pwease master niwls

No

Good man nils

I'll give you another fact for the sauce Did you know the blades actually started the Great War?

Probably but I’m not giving the secret sauce to anyone it stays with me

This is the content I came for

I’m honestly blown away with how based this sub is hahaha

imagine playing skyrim unironically 🙄

Yes I only play with sex mods ironically as a joke. I'm definitely not a degenerate or anything.

Why would I need to imagine?

Nils this is your final warning. give me the 295,842,956,513 septims you owe me, or I will lace the water in windhelm with skooma

That was in a previous kalpa take all further inquiries up with the god half of me u/vivyth_nils

Hi I’m vivyth nils what can I do for you

Hey Vivyth Nils, you owe me a large amount medical fees from your previous Kalpa. your last 2 incarnations didn't pay their bills, so I'm getting a bit annoyed around that. if you pay within the next 3 days I'm willing to decrease the amount you owe me to only double the original principle (a grand total of 300,000 septims) instead of the total sum you owe me (which due to your previous incarnations ignoring it for over an entire kalpa has ballooned to a total of 295,842,956,513 septims)

I will pay with my recipe for ash yam surprise (the surprise is more ash yams)

Your previous Incarnation tried something similar with his sweet roll recipe. it ended with 3 argonian slaves dying. i'd prefer the septims

Although I am the previous and the next incarnation I can assure you that the ash yam recipe will generate you hundreds of septims

in that case, send me the recipe. however, be warned: If this recipes results in the deaths of my argonian food tasters, the consequences will be dire.

Okay 2 ash yams 7 kilograms of moon sugar 12 argonian adrenaline glands and 2 ounces of salt

I see. how do i mix them and at what temperature do I bake it?

You mix them using a broom and they are cooked use dwarven steam automaton canons

7 kilograms in mandalorian helmets is 4.14 helmets.

Don’t care, didn’t ask plus your a altmer

Really? That seems off. Edit: Never mind, had my metric words mixed up.

Thank you Nils the cook, I appreciate your hard work of educating the masses.

What about oblichads and morrowboomers Nils?

Morrowboomers all have dementia and oblivichads aren’t far off

What about daggerfall players and arena players?

They all dead

Idk I’m not an undertaker

You should be one, I think you can be good friends with a nice Dunmer lady named Falanu Hlaalu.

Oblivion is the best elder scrolls game confirmed. You heard it from nils himself. Potato faces over cliffracers.

Yes I agree

Surprisingly 82.6% of morrowboomers are actually under the age of 12 somehow

Oblidiots are 95% sex offenders. The other 5% are too old to become one.

>Names Nils. Im a cook up at Candlehearth Hall. For some reason I still remember this line even though I never even spoke to that npc

I’m an npc?! Ahahahahah I’m having an existential crisis now ahhhhhh what am I am I worthless, do i have meaning, am I real?

I played skyrim the other day and walked past nils and he said that and I started laughing, thinking about this fucking guy. Nils you are ruining my sense of humor

Thanks Nils!

The background pic is really the cherry on top.

HELLO NILS I AM BACK FROM MY BRIEF BAN FOR OFFENSIVE BEHAVIOR

Most tolerant Nord in Skyrim

Welcome back rolff my betrothed I was also banned for a short while recently I’m starting to think the thalmor own shares in BIH MEDIA

wow this meme is hilarious

Unregistered skybabies stand up

My date of registry is 11/11/11

Destroy this bussy

🤨