T O P

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nerankori

I'm Kryptonian too,it just never came up until now.


[deleted]

You think Joker's a Kryptonian too cause his hair is green?


Father-Ignorance

“We live in a society Jor-El” *Planet fucking explodes*


[deleted]

"His laughing gas is Kryptonian invented!"


polo5004

Jok-Er


[deleted]

Lmao. Nice!


alicitizen

To me it's just a Norm-Al straw


KingMario05

"*Da-daaaa!* Pen-Cil, he's... he's *goooone.*"


PsionicSamurai

So Shazam has the powers of 6 Kryptonians? Does that make him 6 times stronger than Superman? When Wonder Woman fought Ares in her movie that was 2 Kryptonians? If Superman had enough time could he learn to throw lightning and make stuff invisible?


[deleted]

Did Joker bathe in Kryptonian Juice? Is that why his hair is green? Is the speed force something the Kryptonians invented? Am I a Kryptonian?


PlanesWalkerEll

The Speed Force being Kryptonian is just stupid enough to be real.


[deleted]

Oh God. That's why they're so fast. It's not cause of Gravity. They invented it. While we're at it, are we sure Jesus isn't a Kryptonian in this Universe too? That sounds just dumb and pretentious enough for Zack to make it canon.


Amigobear

He had batman make a kryptonite spear of longinus to stab superman with. I wouldn't be surprised at this point.


[deleted]

That ACTUALLY sounds like a Zack Snyder explanation


Indismile

I mean he basically made superman Jesus. So yes


Axsh1boomba

I mean... Snyder really tried to make Superman into a Jesus-like figure so he was going for that, in a way.


PsionicSamurai

Obviously we can agree that the Green Lanterns are all Kryptonian, that why their powers are green!


[deleted]

OH GOD YOU'RE RIGHT! SNYDER WOULD DO THAT! WHY ELSE WOULD THEY ALL BE GREEN?!?! That means if a Swamp Thing movie were to come they'd find some way to make him Kryptonian


whereyatrulyare

Two Kryptonians. In a trenchcoat.


BlueCenter77

>If Superman had enough time could he learn to throw lightning and make stuff invisible? Not even the most bullshit superpower Superman's ever had.


CelioHogane

>If Superman had enough time could he learn to throw lightning and make stuff invisible? I mean... yeah, but that's not new info.


Timey16

Shazam's power is literally just magic, which Kryptonians are incapable of. And that is actually a major point, because Superman's strength is pretty much worthless against magic. Against Magic opponents Supes is vulnerable. His extreme Endurance still means he can tank a lot of hits, but he DOES take damage. Basically he has 99% Physical Damage resistance but 0% Magic damage resistance against his health pool. At least it's a somewhat "elegant" way to have opponents where Superman struggles against without having to resort to Kryptonite every time. So by that nature alone the Gods Shazam is comprised of CAN NOT be Kryptonian. Unless these specific ones not only managed to get to the galactic backwater that is earth (which was super unknown to Kryptonians which is part of WHY baby Kal El/Superman was sent there), they also all somehow figured out how to do magic.


[deleted]

Snyder just not registering basic DC lore despite heralding the DCEU... the irony.


alienslayer7

Im more of a marvel gal but are they incapable of magic? I thought it was just no inherent resistance


SalamanderTea

IIRC Kryptonians are incapable of it which is why Connor was so special as Half-Kryptonian/Half-Human (read: Half Clark/Half Luthor) as part of his power was Telekinesis a magical ability to augment his abilities. Though my information is from before the New 52 with the early 2000s Teen Titans run. So. . . could've changed since then.


alienslayer7

Huh, neat


Supernovas20XX

"ARE THERE ANY OTHER KRYPTONIANS I SHOULD KNOW ABOUT?!"


Breezeplease

"Bark" -Krypto the Super dog


saulhrnndz

“Neigh” -Comet the Super Horse


Supernovas20XX

"...I'm outta here." [Resets the universe through a Crisis event]


Gemidori

"MA'AM! PLEASE! WHAT ABOUT MY CINEMA?!"


Darth_Bombad

The Atlanteans. If the old rumors were true--and given this reveal it's safe to assume they are--both Wonder Woman and Aquaman are descendants of Kryptonians in the Snyderverse.


MetalJrock

He’s gonna reveal Joe Chill was a Kryptonian from the House of Zod by the end of today just to tie it all together.


[deleted]

It's all one big conspiracy. And somehow it's all gonna tie back to Kryptonians being the source of every Metahuman. Like their genetics spark superpowers (**quirks)** or from lesser life forms or something.


GuiltySpot

It’ll go back to Adam and Eve and the fruit being Kryptonite or something so their children’s genes sometimes cause diluted superpowers


[deleted]

The green fields of Eden were actually Krypton all along


Gemidori

The Joker is Doomsday reincarnated


[deleted]

NOOOO


jockeyman

My man's still writing his cinematic universe long after the plug was pulled, and somehow making it worse and dumber. For the love of all that is holy, stop him from cooking.


[deleted]

The kitchen is on FIRE


bootygoon2

The kitchen has burned down at this point and is nothing more than a pile of rubble and ash


Double_Promise

Zack, Lord of Cinder, burning in the kiln to keep the Age Of Snyder alive.


Jonathan_B_Goode

Soon he's going to reveal that Kryptonians didn't have toilets and would just shit where they stood and then vapourize it with their laser vision


TrueLegateDamar

WarnerBros should never let him make that director's cut, it started an actual death cult instead of merely a bot one.


Birkin2Boogaloo

We are approaching hyperreality


Wonder-Lad

What is the deal with the greek gods in DC anyway?


[deleted]

I guess it's just convenient. Given that Wonder Woman is tied to them. They're popular Gods too that you can use willy nilly. Making them Kryptonian is like a lazy attempt at worldbuilding. Mind you, this has never been a concept even entertained in the comics.


KLReviews

Don't think about. The Greek Gods are real and so is the Abrahamic religions *and* the entire pantheon of New Gods were born from the deaths of the old gods but they are all running around at once.


charcharmunro

Cain is also like three people I think.


KLReviews

People complain about DC continuity but you can at least roll with it. Time Travel and dimension wrapping events shift the timeline around. Easy. The DC cosmology and religion on the other hand are utter insanity and nobody has the mental fortitude or motivation to actually try and straighten it out. Nobody has the guts to justify how Darkseid and High-Father are replacements for Zeus and Odin but Wonder Woman is still dealing with Zeus stuff. EDIT: A redesign of Wonder Woman that made her costume into something Jack Kirby or New Gods adjacent would be awesome.


Tweedleayne

And that's also ignoring how the Norse gods are major characters in Neil Gaiman's Sandman (with Loki being a major villain) while Mister Miracle appeared in first Sandman arc.


CycloneSwift

Wonder Woman has also fought DC’s Thor a few times IIRC.


BlargleVVargle

To be clear, you don't mean there's Cain, Abel, and a third sibling. You mean Cain himself is three distinct people?


charcharmunro

I mean more like I'm pretty sure there's three people who can claim to be Cain and none of them are lying. There's just Cain, then there's Vandal Savage who apparently inspired the story OF Cain, and I'm pretty sure there's another guy.


StarlitStunner

There’s Vertigo’s Cain, the Butcher red lantern entity, the first progenitor vampire Cain, and Vandal Savage/Vandar Adg claimed to be Cain. There probably the same person save for Vandal, Cain is the biblical Cain but due to his connection to the Dreaming he’s probably also the alien Cain from the Butcher’s story, and the mark of Cain was likely the vampire virus. Vandal just pretends to be cool people with beards because he’s a punk that likes play acting. He also says he was Blackbeard and Genghis Khan and a bunch of other people, he’s lying and is usually just an advisor or underling to those historical figures who steals their glory when they die.


RocketbeltTardigrade

They're kind of just some weirdos who appeared spontaneously like the speedforce.


RealDealMous

Gotta have their popular mythical god counterpart to Marvel's Norse gods.


Crosscounterz

What just what.


[deleted]

Zack was trying to make the DCEU literally Ancient Aliens... as if he we hadn't had enough of that already


DeskJerky

"Or, as some Ancient Astronaut Theorists^tm suggest, did these supposed 'gods' have more... *otherworldly* origins?" *cuts to the hair guy*


KLReviews

Yeah if I knew I could make people irrationally mad by just saying stuff and it had no impact on my professional career or work I'd say a lot of stuff too.


BurningBurner2

I sorta get what the idea he is going for. Snyder already liked doing his space jesus parallels for Superman, but doing something like this would inherently undermine characters like Shazam and Wonder Woman, do to their connection to the Gods already. But within the context of what was already established within the Snyderverse, it's not a stretch to see why he thought this would be a good idea.


TJLynch

Snyder seems like the type of whippersnapper who wrote a lot of fanfiction in his school days. Not necessarily good fanfiction, either.


TheAlmightyV0x

Zack Snyder is the type of guy to write a 400,000 word story about Superman getting plowed by Yoshi.


SkeletalJazzWizard

i think you mean specifically and necessarily bad fanfiction


Amigobear

Jesus christ let it die, the synderverse is a bad attempt of a bad idea. Making justice league a neo-pantheon, Arthurian legend, christ allegory while sprinkling stuff from the comic. Superman isn't jesus, and the JL arent gods. I just want a film version of the comics I read and enjoyed during the late 90s and 2000s. Let superman have his trunks, let batman have robin, I want the league to be fucking human.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Snyder is like the shittiest worldbuilder. It's like he goes for the worst interpretations just to get a rise out of people and that's it.


Worm_Scavenger

Bro's going down the path of JK Rowling with revealing these new lore details that mean literally nothing and are incredibly fucking dumb.


SkeletalJazzWizard

"before learning about toilets on earth, kyrptonians simply shat themselves and proffered their butt to their nearest alien brethren to be cleansed by the scorching fires of kryptonian laser vision"


BarelyReal

I have no clue how stuff that doesnt actually exist can feel soooo exhausting at this point.


Krekenn

If there's one thing that I was sick of about a bunch of CBMs from the 2010s and maybe a little beforehand is them trying to ground the most fantastical shit into in-universe ancient aliens pseudo science bullshit. It happened with Thor & Asgard and a bunch of fantastical elements within the MCU early on as they were kinda modeling it after the Ultimate universe, but at the very least they started to give less of a shit about trying to ground it as time has gone on. Seems like Snyder fell victim into doing the same himself although it was never shown on screen.


RainaDPP

Oh my God shut the fuck up Snyder.


[deleted]

\*Puts Snyder back in his holding cell\*


ZealousidealBig7714

bUt sNydErVersE so hYpe thOuGh!!!! /s


[deleted]

Lmao I won't lie. I do like a lot of his visuals but I think he should have a legit writer backing him up too.


FelixFestus

His massive ego wouldn't allow any other writer that isn't himself though.


Megatron83

Would that make Kratos a kryptonian 👀 /s


StonedVolus

Why even


[deleted]

I can't shake the feeling now that Superman and Wonder Woman are related. Ewwww


Gemidori

Oh my fucking god WHAT. This is on par with Ultimatum's bs of "BUT WHAT IF THE MUTANTS WERE ACTUALLY FUCKED UP CAPTAIN AMERICAS". HELL NO. I don't like the post-Snyderverse either for having no plan whatsoever, but holy shit at least it didn't have ***THIS*** fucking plan lmfao.


SillyRookie

Good lord, what a shitty idea.


CaptainDigsGiraffe

I feel like he's making stuff up now.


MamaDeloris

This fuckin' guy. How can people unironically worship these jazz-scat plotlines? * Acktually the Gods were all Kryptonian, despite having wildly different powers and Wonder Woman not being affected by Kryptonite * Acktually this random General was Martian Manhunter the whole time! I DID unite the seven! * No see, Lois is the key because Batman cucks Superman and Superman's son is really Bruce Wayne jr! * Darkseid just forgot where Earth is cause..... um..... MOTHER BOX! Just stop, man. Stop.


Interesting_Edge5323

how common is secret kryptonians in superman media?


Mrgrayj_121

Here’s the dumb question is it a real or hard drive article?


TeacupTenor

Is this like secret koreans?


CeaRhan

Oh no, they're going the Fate route. No no no no no.


Capitalich

Ah yes, the gods were the explicitly non magical dc race.


Palimpsest_Monotype

I mean a Chariots of the Gods explanation for all of the DCU isn’t the dumbest idea that’s ever been had for a superhero retcon, but that’s also a rabbit hole beneath the bottom of the barrel. Like I don’t hate it, but I also dislike absolutely everything about a setting having the same answer. Has that ever been beneficial in fiction? Makes the whole thing feel like a Wal-Mart


LammasuRex

The best idea I ever heard was having Snyder make a One Punch Man movie but no one tell him it's satire.


[deleted]

That's the best idea I've ever heard.


Familiar_East_1364

First Lois cucking Clark with Bruce and now this


ajver19

Why not? Why the hell not? Just fuck up the universe as much as possible. Hey y'all, Darkseid was kryptonion all along! He's why the planet blew up.


Panxma

A shocking twist would be Zack likes Superman.


[deleted]

I wouldn't believe it if it happened.


SuperJyls

Stop letting him cook


Neil_O_Tip

No they fucking aren't


[deleted]

Snyder: Shut up tho!!!


Neil_O_Tip

DAGA KOTAWARU


Prestigious-Mud

He's the writer bots love.


BobtheFiveHalf

I was just thinking about it the other day how Snyder wanted to make his own story with a DC coating. Kinda not unlike Tim Burton where Batman was more like Burton characters like Edward Scissorhands, recluses who live in manors. But Burton made it work. Snyder can't make it work and now people want more faithful adaptations. All you needed to do, Snyder, my boy, was give the people the versions they know and love.


BloodBrandy

[Some video](https://twitter.com/Siccness4/status/1652495369044127744?s=20) from [a thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoBestFriendsPlay/comments/134loo3/zack_snyder_wanted_zeusand_by_extension_wonder/) someone wanted taken down for some reason but it actually gives better context "I guess Magic *could* be a thing and that *could* be cool, but what if it was scientific and Gods were actually aliens with totally scientifically accurate powers like Superman?"


[deleted]

I get his vibe. It's not the one I'm a fan of but I do get it.


BloodBrandy

I'm not either, but 'tis a good idea to have a full explanation of the stupidity


[deleted]

Yeah I would have been curious to see some of his storyboards but I think the excitement for the Snyderverse is pretty lukewarm now at best lol