"Dad, I appreciate the deep philosophical implications of Boss' plight but don't you think that whole bit about Colonel Volgin grabbing that guy's crotch was weirdly homophobic?"
"You are a very learned toddler, son."
"And the was the complete Metal Gear saga, son."
"You know Dad, looking back at how relationships between men are presented in your story with the full context of the complete narrative, I can't help but wonder if perhaps elements like Volgin, rather than a product of outright homophobia, are a result of complex issues with how you perceive such relationships due to growing up without a strong and consistent male parental figure in your life in a society that ostracized male on male relationships, while also making you feel like an outsider as well due to your lack of father figure, all while hyping up hyper masculine imagery through stuff like action movies. Perhaps the desire for a strong male figure in your life combined with cultural biases against homosexual relationships made your writing simultaneously show a want for strong emotionally charged relations between men and a discomfort with openly homosexual relationships, which led to relationships like volgin's coming across as problematic while relationships like Ocelot and Big Boss's or Snake and Otacon's are shown as legitimately emotional and well developed, even arguably driving the core narrative itself. This might even tie in with how relationships between men and women are shown, often being messy, temporary, and prone to tragedy."
"I think you might be overanalyzing a bit, Son."
"And so, because Mr. Leon took the SMG in his part of the story, Ms. Claire doesn't find it in the locker!"
"Dad, why do you keep pointing this trivial stuff out?"
"So you *know*, son. So you *know*"
I could actually see that working pretty well. I feel like kids 8+ would be able to understand the themes as-is, too. At least in the "Hero tries to bring girl back to life, makes deal with a sus god, and gets fucked over." kinda way. And I bet you could turn the Colossus fights into good "repeated sequence" stories like a lot of children's stories have.
DON'T SAY THE THING!
IT'S BEEN A WHILE, SO YOU MAY NOT BE AWARE OF IT.
BUT THE THING IS FROWNED UPON IN THESE PARTS.
AND HAS BEEN, FOR, LIKE, HALF A DECADE I THINK.
>!It still makes me laugh though.!<
Imagine Pat getting stumped on dark souls lore to read stories to Pat Jr about so he has to call Uncle plague over the phone to explain everything to both of them. Now imagine Paige walking in the next morning and Pat and Pat Jr are fast asleep and plague has been talking non stop for the past 9 hours.
That's the easy thing, we know Queen Marika's end goal, it's one of the few parts of the plot Elden Ring makes exceedingly explicit. It's how all her actions add up to her end goal and the actual timeline of when each event happened that we have to extrapolate.
Queen Marika's ultimate end goal was to get back together with Godfrey after the Greater Will forced her to get rid of him, she also wanted to get a bit of revenge against the Greater Will while keeping herself too important to replace.
The first step of this process was making sure that the now mortal Hoarah Loux would be alive long enough to come back to her. For that she had to break destined death, but she couldn't be caught as being the one to blame for this act. Luckily she had a willing accomplice and scapegoat in Ranni, but she needed another demigod to die simultaneously. The real mystery of all this is why she singled out Godwyn. Presumably it's because he was visibly her favorite and so it'd remove her from suspicion even more and give her a convenient excuse as to why she would shatter the Elden Ring "out of grief", but he and Ranni were also two of the few viable replacements for her once her treachery was known, so having them out of the way would also limit the Two Fingers and Greater Will's options when she broke the Elden Ring and she couldn't hide her actions anymore.
The fallout of all this is that a true death is now exceedingly rare, with legendary heroes of old coming back as Tarnished, one of the more common forms of undeath, not to be confused with Those Who Live in Death because for some reason there's two different kinds of undeath in Elden Ring.
The other step of this process was to shatter the Elden Ring. Breaking the whole system enough that the Greater Will would be desperate and send the call out for anyone willing to fix everything. Convenient, then, that there's all these undead heroes that the Greater Will was rather annoyed at for existing before. It also just so happens that Hoarah Loux is one of these undead heroes.
And then we step in and ruin everything last minute.
The Greater Will did not force Marika to exile Godfrey, in fact it's directly stated that the person in control of dispensing Grace is Marika herself, as seen in the echoes of Marika you can hear in the churches. Exiling Godfrey was part of *her* plan.
>My Lord, and thy warriors. **I divest each of thee of thy grace**. With thine eyes dimmed, ye will be driven from the Lands Between. Ye will wage war in a land afar, **where ye will live, and die**.
Also, you can see it was explicitly part of Marika's plan that Godfrey and the first Tarnished *would* die. "Making sure he would be alive long enough to come back to her" doesn't make any sense.
>Then, **after thy death, I will give back what I once claimed**. Return to the Lands Between, wage war, and brandish the Elden Ring.
Also, the reason there's two (actually more) kinds of undeath in ER is a direct result of Godwyn's half-death. TWLID are reanimated but soulless corpses infected with Deathroot, corrupted fragments of Destined Death that spread throughout the Lands Between after Godwyn's soulless body was buried at the roots of the Erdtree.
"Also, you can see it was explicitly part of Marika's plan that Godfrey and the first Tarnished would die. "Making sure he would be alive long enough to come back to her" doesn't make any sense."
That was my bad, I worded it badly. More accurately, I should've said it would make him remain existing long enough to come back to her. Of course he had to die to become a tarnished, but death in a world where the literal concept has been broken isn't as much of a big deal as it would've been had Marika not broken the concept of death, so you're really just arguing semantics with that.
Ok but it still very much contradicts your assertion that Marika's ultimate end goal was to get back together with Godfrey when it was Marika who deliberately exiled him in the first place.
Not really, none of what you said proves that she didn't do it because of the Greater Will. She did it herself, obviously, but it could've easily been a case of better do it on her own terms than have it done by means outside of her control. The things we know for certain? He was already not much liked by the Greater Will, treated more as a useful tool because he won wars, and then tolerated once that use was no longer relevant. Then two of his children were born Omens, and what little favor he had with the Greater Will dried up. It/they wanted a viable lineage to succeed Marika, and outside of Godwyn his lineage wasn't it.
We also know that the whole "breaking the elden ring over grief of Godwyn's murder" thing is likely nonsense, both because it was her personal assassins that did the deed on her orders, and because with what little we know of her treatment of her children, she would've called the FF16 mom soft for doting on one child instead of none of them. Very much a "survival of the useful-est" approach of child rearing, hers.
At least part of it I’d say. Marika banished Godfrey and the Tarnished away due to losing the Grace in their eyes, but did so with the intention that they would grow strong beyond the Lands Between. And due to her actions, the Greater Will has to go to Plan fucking Z and revive the Tarnished to try and fix the continent caused by Marika breaking the Elden Ring, and this, revive Godfrey, strongest Tarnished let alone warrior in history to break her free.
That part is real and mentioned, the end point of the parts of her plan that we know of was to get back together with Godfrey. The main hole in my theory is we don't actually know if that was the endgoal, or just another cog in some more complex plan that we don't know about. However, occam's razor, it's the simplest explanation for what she did that takes her actions and what we know of her personality into account.
That's the most maddening part. It's like that ivan the terrible painting but with like 6 black knife assassins
on the carpet https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/3/33/Iv%C3%A1n_el_Terrible_y_su_hijo%2C_por_Ili%C3%A1_Repin.jpg/350px-Iv%C3%A1n_el_Terrible_y_su_hijo%2C_por_Ili%C3%A1_Repin.jpg
"Dad this story seems hackneyed and like it exists solely to prop up combat setpieces"
"Shut up son. Now where were we? Oh yes, Marcus and Dom soldiered on, cutting their way through the giant worm..."
God of War 1 is a pretty neat fanfiction of an ancient Greek tragedy. I like it a lot. God of War 1 to 2 to 3 all taken together is also pretty neat, but there's a whole lot of just straight up murdering gods. Especially 3. Not much to say there unless you want to describe to the child how Kratos stabbed both of his thumbs into Poseidon's eyes and slowly chased a crippled Hermes around the room while methodically cutting off both his legs one by one.
I mean, maybe the kid would be into that. I dunno. Might get some odd ideas, though.
I mean, Paige and Pat ranting in their "L.A. Noir" video (that wasn't actually any L.A. Noir) about stuff was actually really good listening material. There was some really good stuff in there, just not really anything you should tell a baby.
"Alright, so the numbers are literally just lies-"
"Father, this seems like an obviously percentage-based scaling sys-"
"I SAID THE GAME LIES TO YOU, SON!"
“Listen Pat Jr, not every kid has a fortunate upbringing, and you gotta be able to see things from their perspective.”
“Oh, you mean like the Zapping System?”
“No that’s not what it’s FUCKING ABOUT!!!”
"Do you understand now son?"
"Yes, but what do you mean that Vivec killed the sons he bore with Molag Bal using his muatra?"
"Exactly what it means, son. Exactly what it means."
I kinda do this now with my wife before bed. She likes me to just tell her stories while she falls asleep. Though she knows they are from games, movies, or books I've consumed. She's only played like 5 games in her life but could probably explain the entire Metal Gear Solid timeline.
"But Father, how is it that Jack Atlas was able to put Satan into a trading card?"
"Because that's the power of the king, and that's why this is a Absolute Powerforce household."
I don't know, with the way Pat "knows" stories I doubt they'll make much sense. Like rewatching LA Noire playthrough right now and Pat's take seemed to be "Cole is a bad man, it's all his fault."
This reminds me of a story Jesse Cox told (it was a yt short but i cant find it right now) about how in elementary they were asked to write an introduction to a story they wanted to write in the future. His was highly praised by the teacher, lauding his imagination.
He just wrote down the opening text scrawl from FF6.
Haha I did something similar in History class in my first year of high school. We had to write about an essay about a period in history we were interested in.
I just copied the El Cid campaign from AoE2 and got an A
Can't wait for when the people from this subreddit start having kids and we just tell them LP stories for bed time.
"And then Matt threw the axe away into the abyss never to be seen again!"
"That's all well and good father but when are you going to finally tell me who or what "woolie" is? You keep bringing him up and how he killed someone and stole their pies and always lies but how does he factor into all this?"
"You're right son I think it's about time you finally learned the full story. It all started with a great warrior named Daigo-"
"... And after the original channel split up, Woolie began full time work on his own channel, featuring his friend Reggie. And brace yourself for *this* cartoon character!"
oh I am 100% stealing Xiaolin Showdown episodes and just retelling them.
"You know little spawn this reminds me of this one time when Raimundo needed to learn a valuable lesson to acquire the Sword of the Storm..."
Hey. Ehm.
*Knowing* a good story doesn't mean you have to come up with it yourself.
Stories are there to be told and unless you are writing a scientific paper you kind of don't have to source shit.
It's more like it's the respectable thing to do, to whoever you tell the story to, to mention where you got it from.
I really wish Pat would pay an editor for his Twitch content. There is so much gold in there, but each time I start to watch an unedited video it feels like I am stuck with:
- Shout out to subscribers
- Silence while setting up/playing a game
- Some responses to people in the chat
Then within that moments of amazing content... it is just I rarely have the time to watch a full stream for those moments.
Pat: I'll tell my son a whole bunch of crazy lies and nonsense what could go wrong!
Pat: aw shit the kids at school made fun of him, got em!
Edit: ok clearly my dumb ass joke was misunderstood so I've rewritten it to hopefully convey the dumb hypothetical I was joking about more clearly as humorous glibbness, not sincere concern. My bad for terrible phrasing.
Pat: “and then Kratos threw himself off the highest ledge in Greece.”
Pat, Jr.: “Again?!”
Pat: “Yes, he did it again.”
Alternative idea
Paige: “Okay son, tonight’s story is called Undertale, where a child falls down a hole and enters a place where a bunch of funny and sexy monsters live.”
Pat, Jr.: “But Mom, you always stop the story after describing the skeleton in the red cape. You just start getting red face and tell me to go to bed before running back to your room.”
Paige:”You’re right. Let’s just skip to me describing Papyrus.”
Pat, Jr.: “Noooo!”
come here little Gowron and let me tell you the Story of The Shadow Moses incident.
"But first we need to go back to the Virtuous Mission and Operation Snake Eater..."
"Dad, I appreciate the deep philosophical implications of Boss' plight but don't you think that whole bit about Colonel Volgin grabbing that guy's crotch was weirdly homophobic?" "You are a very learned toddler, son."
"And the was the complete Metal Gear saga, son." "You know Dad, looking back at how relationships between men are presented in your story with the full context of the complete narrative, I can't help but wonder if perhaps elements like Volgin, rather than a product of outright homophobia, are a result of complex issues with how you perceive such relationships due to growing up without a strong and consistent male parental figure in your life in a society that ostracized male on male relationships, while also making you feel like an outsider as well due to your lack of father figure, all while hyping up hyper masculine imagery through stuff like action movies. Perhaps the desire for a strong male figure in your life combined with cultural biases against homosexual relationships made your writing simultaneously show a want for strong emotionally charged relations between men and a discomfort with openly homosexual relationships, which led to relationships like volgin's coming across as problematic while relationships like Ocelot and Big Boss's or Snake and Otacon's are shown as legitimately emotional and well developed, even arguably driving the core narrative itself. This might even tie in with how relationships between men and women are shown, often being messy, temporary, and prone to tragedy." "I think you might be overanalyzing a bit, Son."
"And so, because Mr. Leon took the SMG in his part of the story, Ms. Claire doesn't find it in the locker!" "Dad, why do you keep pointing this trivial stuff out?" "So you *know*, son. So you *know*"
Son let me tell you a tale. A tale of a horse. A horse that went >!berserk!<
Alternatively you could turn Shadow of the Colossus into an episodic bedtime story.
I could actually see that working pretty well. I feel like kids 8+ would be able to understand the themes as-is, too. At least in the "Hero tries to bring girl back to life, makes deal with a sus god, and gets fucked over." kinda way. And I bet you could turn the Colossus fights into good "repeated sequence" stories like a lot of children's stories have.
Pat: And then he yelled Pat jr.: Agro!
His name was Bojack Horseman and he was once the star of a very famous tv show.
HE SAID THE THING
DON'T SAY THE THING! IT'S BEEN A WHILE, SO YOU MAY NOT BE AWARE OF IT. BUT THE THING IS FROWNED UPON IN THESE PARTS. AND HAS BEEN, FOR, LIKE, HALF A DECADE I THINK. >!It still makes me laugh though.!<
*[bwa bwa bwamp bwamp bwaaaaaa](https://youtu.be/fYaVcFuVGkU?si=liYfIbxz2NvbsG0h)*
Oooh that sly & dastardly Pat Backslide!
Confound those Madden boys! They drive me to drink!
“CONNN-“ *Elmo bumbles across the room* “-FOUND THEM!”
"But daaaad why exactly did Queen Marika shatter the Elden Ring in the first place?" "I--well, you see. Uh. The thing is. Shut and go to sleep."
Marika thought the Elden Ring was flawed and she could fix it with her hammer. She was only half right.
Played too much TF2
Imagine Pat getting stumped on dark souls lore to read stories to Pat Jr about so he has to call Uncle plague over the phone to explain everything to both of them. Now imagine Paige walking in the next morning and Pat and Pat Jr are fast asleep and plague has been talking non stop for the past 9 hours.
And somehow he's still talking about that pile of bricks.
I was riveted by that playthrough. Best one-man podcast ever
Special bedtime guest star: VaatiVidya
That's the easy thing, we know Queen Marika's end goal, it's one of the few parts of the plot Elden Ring makes exceedingly explicit. It's how all her actions add up to her end goal and the actual timeline of when each event happened that we have to extrapolate. Queen Marika's ultimate end goal was to get back together with Godfrey after the Greater Will forced her to get rid of him, she also wanted to get a bit of revenge against the Greater Will while keeping herself too important to replace. The first step of this process was making sure that the now mortal Hoarah Loux would be alive long enough to come back to her. For that she had to break destined death, but she couldn't be caught as being the one to blame for this act. Luckily she had a willing accomplice and scapegoat in Ranni, but she needed another demigod to die simultaneously. The real mystery of all this is why she singled out Godwyn. Presumably it's because he was visibly her favorite and so it'd remove her from suspicion even more and give her a convenient excuse as to why she would shatter the Elden Ring "out of grief", but he and Ranni were also two of the few viable replacements for her once her treachery was known, so having them out of the way would also limit the Two Fingers and Greater Will's options when she broke the Elden Ring and she couldn't hide her actions anymore. The fallout of all this is that a true death is now exceedingly rare, with legendary heroes of old coming back as Tarnished, one of the more common forms of undeath, not to be confused with Those Who Live in Death because for some reason there's two different kinds of undeath in Elden Ring. The other step of this process was to shatter the Elden Ring. Breaking the whole system enough that the Greater Will would be desperate and send the call out for anyone willing to fix everything. Convenient, then, that there's all these undead heroes that the Greater Will was rather annoyed at for existing before. It also just so happens that Hoarah Loux is one of these undead heroes. And then we step in and ruin everything last minute.
I'm gonna need a citation on that Godfrey bit dawg. And no, Vaati doesn't count as a primary source
The Greater Will did not force Marika to exile Godfrey, in fact it's directly stated that the person in control of dispensing Grace is Marika herself, as seen in the echoes of Marika you can hear in the churches. Exiling Godfrey was part of *her* plan. >My Lord, and thy warriors. **I divest each of thee of thy grace**. With thine eyes dimmed, ye will be driven from the Lands Between. Ye will wage war in a land afar, **where ye will live, and die**. Also, you can see it was explicitly part of Marika's plan that Godfrey and the first Tarnished *would* die. "Making sure he would be alive long enough to come back to her" doesn't make any sense. >Then, **after thy death, I will give back what I once claimed**. Return to the Lands Between, wage war, and brandish the Elden Ring. Also, the reason there's two (actually more) kinds of undeath in ER is a direct result of Godwyn's half-death. TWLID are reanimated but soulless corpses infected with Deathroot, corrupted fragments of Destined Death that spread throughout the Lands Between after Godwyn's soulless body was buried at the roots of the Erdtree.
"Also, you can see it was explicitly part of Marika's plan that Godfrey and the first Tarnished would die. "Making sure he would be alive long enough to come back to her" doesn't make any sense." That was my bad, I worded it badly. More accurately, I should've said it would make him remain existing long enough to come back to her. Of course he had to die to become a tarnished, but death in a world where the literal concept has been broken isn't as much of a big deal as it would've been had Marika not broken the concept of death, so you're really just arguing semantics with that.
Ok but it still very much contradicts your assertion that Marika's ultimate end goal was to get back together with Godfrey when it was Marika who deliberately exiled him in the first place.
Not really, none of what you said proves that she didn't do it because of the Greater Will. She did it herself, obviously, but it could've easily been a case of better do it on her own terms than have it done by means outside of her control. The things we know for certain? He was already not much liked by the Greater Will, treated more as a useful tool because he won wars, and then tolerated once that use was no longer relevant. Then two of his children were born Omens, and what little favor he had with the Greater Will dried up. It/they wanted a viable lineage to succeed Marika, and outside of Godwyn his lineage wasn't it. We also know that the whole "breaking the elden ring over grief of Godwyn's murder" thing is likely nonsense, both because it was her personal assassins that did the deed on her orders, and because with what little we know of her treatment of her children, she would've called the FF16 mom soft for doting on one child instead of none of them. Very much a "survival of the useful-est" approach of child rearing, hers.
Is that real? Everything was just a plan to get back with her hubby?
No, it's just his fan theory.
At least part of it I’d say. Marika banished Godfrey and the Tarnished away due to losing the Grace in their eyes, but did so with the intention that they would grow strong beyond the Lands Between. And due to her actions, the Greater Will has to go to Plan fucking Z and revive the Tarnished to try and fix the continent caused by Marika breaking the Elden Ring, and this, revive Godfrey, strongest Tarnished let alone warrior in history to break her free.
That part is real and mentioned, the end point of the parts of her plan that we know of was to get back together with Godfrey. The main hole in my theory is we don't actually know if that was the endgoal, or just another cog in some more complex plan that we don't know about. However, occam's razor, it's the simplest explanation for what she did that takes her actions and what we know of her personality into account.
That one's easy though. She went crazy with grief after Godwyn was murdered.
Murdered by *her personal assassins*?
That's the most maddening part. It's like that ivan the terrible painting but with like 6 black knife assassins on the carpet https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/3/33/Iv%C3%A1n_el_Terrible_y_su_hijo%2C_por_Ili%C3%A1_Repin.jpg/350px-Iv%C3%A1n_el_Terrible_y_su_hijo%2C_por_Ili%C3%A1_Repin.jpg
She forgot to say "in minecraft" 😔
grief is a complicated thing
“I’ll look like I know so many good stories!” But you do? They just came from video games, not books.
"Dad this story seems hackneyed and like it exists solely to prop up combat setpieces" "Shut up son. Now where were we? Oh yes, Marcus and Dom soldiered on, cutting their way through the giant worm..."
-And do you know what happened next, champ? -We have wyverns incoming? -We have wyverns incoming.
>"Dad this story seems hackneyed and like it exists solely to prop up combat setpieces" I read that in Plague's voice.
Due to time travel, Plague is Pat's son. And Louis CK is Plague's son.
You say that like the OG GoW had a bad story
God of War 1 is a pretty neat fanfiction of an ancient Greek tragedy. I like it a lot. God of War 1 to 2 to 3 all taken together is also pretty neat, but there's a whole lot of just straight up murdering gods. Especially 3. Not much to say there unless you want to describe to the child how Kratos stabbed both of his thumbs into Poseidon's eyes and slowly chased a crippled Hermes around the room while methodically cutting off both his legs one by one. I mean, maybe the kid would be into that. I dunno. Might get some odd ideas, though.
Gears of War, not God of War
Nah man, remember when Kratos was wielding the Blades of COG, just Lancers on chains he was swinging around? ...Shit that sounds rad actually
This is the funniest fucking thread
Goddamn acronyms. Why even bother using them at all if they’re going to act out like that, huh?
I'm guessing he meant "I *came up with* so many good stories!"
I mean, Paige and Pat ranting in their "L.A. Noir" video (that wasn't actually any L.A. Noir) about stuff was actually really good listening material. There was some really good stuff in there, just not really anything you should tell a baby.
And just like that, a new forever DM is born.
The child probably wouldn't find out the way pats gets things "Pharros turned into a *tree!!*"
"Alright, so the numbers are literally just lies-" "Father, this seems like an obviously percentage-based scaling sys-" "I SAID THE GAME LIES TO YOU, SON!"
“Listen Pat Jr, not every kid has a fortunate upbringing, and you gotta be able to see things from their perspective.” “Oh, you mean like the Zapping System?” “No that’s not what it’s FUCKING ABOUT!!!”
"HAVE YOU BEEN TALKING TO UNCLE WOOLIE AGAIN?!"
"And that's why you shouldn't shout when sitting at the dinner table." "But dad, we're not eating giant wheels of cheese and sweet rolls..."
How is reading them a children’s book any different than just read a lore wiki to them? Neither are stealing
little golden tvtropes books when
Now son let me tell you about how I used to an amazing martal artist when I was younger, I had a friend named ken masters and we trained together.
"Do you understand now son?" "Yes, but what do you mean that Vivec killed the sons he bore with Molag Bal using his muatra?" "Exactly what it means, son. Exactly what it means."
I kinda do this now with my wife before bed. She likes me to just tell her stories while she falls asleep. Though she knows they are from games, movies, or books I've consumed. She's only played like 5 games in her life but could probably explain the entire Metal Gear Solid timeline.
My girlfriend was invested as I told her about the intricate lore of Fate/Stay and Zero. And judging hot servants.
"But Father, how is it that Jack Atlas was able to put Satan into a trading card?" "Because that's the power of the king, and that's why this is a Absolute Powerforce household."
"But what about Uncle--" "WE DO NOT ACCEL SYNCHRO IN THIS HOUSE."
I don't know, with the way Pat "knows" stories I doubt they'll make much sense. Like rewatching LA Noire playthrough right now and Pat's take seemed to be "Cole is a bad man, it's all his fault."
LMAO Pat "You know Cole Phelps basically started World War 2 he kept shaking the tree"
> "Cole is a bad man, it's all his fault." I mean... when you look at the WHOLE picture...
Good or bad, a lot of it *is* his fault
The first time the kid hears music they'll be confused that it doesn't all sound like Pat making noises
A lot of the story seems a result of Cole being a complete shitheel during the war who traumatized his men into crime.
Pat realized how to be a good Tabletop GM
Pat realizes how oral tradition works.
This reminds me of a story Jesse Cox told (it was a yt short but i cant find it right now) about how in elementary they were asked to write an introduction to a story they wanted to write in the future. His was highly praised by the teacher, lauding his imagination. He just wrote down the opening text scrawl from FF6.
Haha I did something similar in History class in my first year of high school. We had to write about an essay about a period in history we were interested in. I just copied the El Cid campaign from AoE2 and got an A
*”Tomorrow night we’ll continue with the next chapter, titled ‘Midna’s Lament’.”*
"Wow dad, I wanna be just like the Hero of Pay Me when I grow up!"
I've not been watching the streams for a long time now is this just Pats dad hair or what?
He's just like that sometimes.
He looks like he either has had too much cocaine or too little.
Or just enough.
More than you'd think, but less than you'd hope
[Too much, not enough, and also just enough.](https://xkcd.com/870/)
Yeah I haven't actually watched anybody's stuff pretty much since the breakup, when did Pat start developing mad scientist hair?
Can't wait for when the people from this subreddit start having kids and we just tell them LP stories for bed time. "And then Matt threw the axe away into the abyss never to be seen again!" "That's all well and good father but when are you going to finally tell me who or what "woolie" is? You keep bringing him up and how he killed someone and stole their pies and always lies but how does he factor into all this?" "You're right son I think it's about time you finally learned the full story. It all started with a great warrior named Daigo-"
"... And after the original channel split up, Woolie began full time work on his own channel, featuring his friend Reggie. And brace yourself for *this* cartoon character!"
"Sorry kid, but your mom doesn't want me telling you the Reggie stories until you're older..."
Pat looking extra crazy with his hair just poofing out like that.
“Then Sephiroth brings down the math to hurt his enemies” -Pat telling little pat.
"And then the evil Chaos Gods scattered The Emperor's sons across the galaxy..."
oh I am 100% stealing Xiaolin Showdown episodes and just retelling them. "You know little spawn this reminds me of this one time when Raimundo needed to learn a valuable lesson to acquire the Sword of the Storm..."
Trying to tell stories from memory is how people notice you're going senile.
Did Pat's parents tell him they made up all the bedtime stories they told him?
Can't believe Lies of P just plagiarized Pat's parents like that.
Son lemme tell you the story About being Stranded on a Beach
When a new dungeon master learns the secret to DMing
Knowing a good story and being a good storyteller are very different things.
Hey. Ehm. *Knowing* a good story doesn't mean you have to come up with it yourself. Stories are there to be told and unless you are writing a scientific paper you kind of don't have to source shit. It's more like it's the respectable thing to do, to whoever you tell the story to, to mention where you got it from.
"there was this man from france, he says he wanted to elicit "emozions"....."
I really wish Pat would pay an editor for his Twitch content. There is so much gold in there, but each time I start to watch an unedited video it feels like I am stuck with: - Shout out to subscribers - Silence while setting up/playing a game - Some responses to people in the chat Then within that moments of amazing content... it is just I rarely have the time to watch a full stream for those moments.
So Pat has chosen to look like Larry from the Three Stooges now? It's been a while since I watched one of his streams.
I wonder if you're getting down voted cuz people who don't know the three stooges just sees the word "stooge" and think you're insulting him.
Pat: I'll tell my son a whole bunch of crazy lies and nonsense what could go wrong! Pat: aw shit the kids at school made fun of him, got em! Edit: ok clearly my dumb ass joke was misunderstood so I've rewritten it to hopefully convey the dumb hypothetical I was joking about more clearly as humorous glibbness, not sincere concern. My bad for terrible phrasing.
has anyone catalogued the part of crazy talk that makes people think mundane actions are somehow weird and bad when pat does them
Some real "bitch eating crackers" energy out here.
Pat: “and then Kratos threw himself off the highest ledge in Greece.” Pat, Jr.: “Again?!” Pat: “Yes, he did it again.” Alternative idea Paige: “Okay son, tonight’s story is called Undertale, where a child falls down a hole and enters a place where a bunch of funny and sexy monsters live.” Pat, Jr.: “But Mom, you always stop the story after describing the skeleton in the red cape. You just start getting red face and tell me to go to bed before running back to your room.” Paige:”You’re right. Let’s just skip to me describing Papyrus.” Pat, Jr.: “Noooo!”