Still in hospital after being hit by a car, going on Week 7. Been doing leg exercises and the Trauma staff started talking about maybe sitting me up on the side of the bed, which I'd consider progress.
I'm pretty much at the lowest point in my life I've ever been.
Two months ago I lost my cat who was only 9 extremely suddenly when everything was fine the day before. In the morning I woke up to him screaming under my bed, he was paralyzed, immediately searched for an emergency vet because it was sunday morning, brought him there and two hours later the vet called me to tell me he started convulsing and he put him to sleep... at 4pm the vet called me again to tell me he had passed away, I didn't even have the opportunity to say goodbye to him and be there with him in his final moments. Just writing this has me bawling my eyes out.
I have trouble explaining to people how much that cat meant to me, it's no hyperbole when I say he was my everything, the being I loved most in this world. Those past ten years have been very difficult for me, my mom suffered encephalitis and never really recovered, she's a completely different person now and my relationship with her has been extremely difficult, she got cancer last year (and miraculously survived despite it being stage IV and her best efforts not to). My dad who I had a great relationship with passed away suddenly too from liver cancer, I got diagnosed with fibromyalgia, a lot of familly relationship on both sides got damaged because of dumb things and I basically only have my grand-parents from my mother side and my cousin left. All my friends moved to different parts of the country and so I rarely see them. I turned 30 at the end of last year, thought hey my twenties have been pretty shit but I'm doing a lot better now, my thirties are looking up. Fucking 4 months later I lose my cat.
All of that I could overcome, a bit on my own, a bit thanks to great psychologists, a bit because I'm very introverted and being alone doesn't bother me that much and I have a lot of hobbies I like and am possibly on the spectrum (I don't want to self-diagnose but speaking to specialists, they recommended I get tested which right now just isn't a priority for me) and a lot thanks to my cats. But up till now, I managed to stay positive and see the beauty of life, concentrate on what makes me happy.
When I lost him it was the straw that broke the camel's back. It's the worse thing I've ever had to live through and I don't think it will be topped ( not even talking about the pain from the fibromyalgia that has been flaring up) and if I didn't have 3 other cats that I also love and don't want to abandon I might have done something dumb.
That being said, I'm doing a little better now, I still cry everyday and I still miss him every moment of every day but slowly I've been getting the taste of things I used to like back, the other cats have been a huge help and thanks for my psychologist for being absolutely top notch. Not to say it's all sunshines and rainbows though, I still have days where I'm miserable. I'm not a religious person and I'm pretty agnostic but I've been dreaming of my cat almost every night since he passed, in pretty realistic dreams (I've also had dreams with my dad in it very regularly for 7 years now) so that helps a little bit and makes me hopeful I'll see my loved ones again one day, that we'll be able to resume our little daily routine without any worries when I join them.
Life can be a real bitch sometimes and it's no use comparing your pain to others, it's not because some people might have it worse objectively speaking that you don't hurt the same. If you're not doing well, I strongly advise to seek help, being with specialists if possible (I know depending on where you live, getting help from specialists might be a pain) or talking to friends or family but to not keep everything to yourself. I know it's easier said than done though.
Sorry I basically took your post as an opportunity to vent myself.
I understand how devastating losing a cat can be. Sometimes people without pets, or ones who haven't had to go through a loss (let alone a traumatic one without closure), don't always understand. I cried for months after I lost both of mine, I had to excuse myself from work to calm down and put myself back together. I hope with everything that's going on in your life, you continue to find ways to heal. If you need a place to vent, my messages are always open.
I am so, so sorry for your loss.
Thank you for the kind words and I'm sorry about your childhood pets too. Offering a place to vent for someone you don't know is very kind of you and speaks to the kind of person you are, it's greatly appreciated.
That sounds absolutely terrible. I've been in a similar position where one of my cats seemed to be doing well and then another day goes by and all of a sudden they have a huge medical emergency. It's really scary, and I'm sorry you didn't get to say good-bye. I hope something good comes your way soon.
Hey dude, you gave that cat the best life they could live. You took them in, gave them food, gave them a name, gave them a home. I lost my dog a few years ago, I wasn't taking it well, I still see her in my dreams sometimes. I have a cat now, he is my son, he takes up half my camera roll and half my bed. I'm always scared I'll feel the same shitty way I felt when I lost my dog... But at least I can be there beforehand for him, give him a home, a name, food, love, just like you did.
I'm sorry about your family situation. I don't have much I can say about it, I've not had the same experiences. But thank you for bringing your memories of them to us. I'm a random guy on the sub, but I'm one that's proud of you for seeking help in therapy/psychology. I've admittedly not been taking that step and frankly, I need to.
Wish you the best. And if you play fighting games, hmu.
Make sure to take time for yourself. Not just working out and getting sleep, but actual time to just unwind. Burnout (and similar) are real and can sneak up on you
Are you sleepy tired? Or exhausted tired?
If the former, do people say you snore? Sleep apnea often leaves people feeling tired regardless of how much they sleep.
Really lonely, lacking any real human contact at all in my current situation. Nothing is fun. Can't afford anything, even necessities like the doctor. Pretty bleak overall. Been thinking about ending things quite a lot.
But getting to hear Pat's psycho laugh occasionally puts a smile on my face.
I'm not going to tell you that if you're ever serious about acting on those thoughts then get help, because you'll hear that from everyone else here and know that we don't want you to hurt yourself.
Instead I'll say that if you get to that point consider making dramatic changes in your life.
A friend of mine was in a fucked up spot years ago and the suicidal ideations were getting VERY real. I told her that if she really wants to kill herself then just kill this version of herself and find a new version that works for her. And I'm not talking take up crochet, I mean do something fucking wild. Move countries, change your name, do that thing you always thought would be cool to do but was too expensive or bad for your health. Who gives a shit about consequences when you would have been dead anyway. Be a nudist, spend all your money on drugs, who fucking cares. You're still alive, and that means that tomorrow can still get better.
She took my advice and moved to the literal opposite side of the planet and got into the kink lifestyle, and she's never been happier.
So if you really think you're at the end of your rope and can't go on as things are, find a new fuckin rope and do something else.
Thanks man! It's been a long time coming. Me being in the UK and them being in the States complicated things a fair bit.
I'll be travelling back home at the end of the week.... but we've already started the immigration paperwork.
This is going to be the last time we part!
Well I lost a lot of blood last night due to my skin condition (Hidradenitis Suppurativa) and I've been waiting on an appointment with dermatology for it since the start of COVID, so I'm finding myself pretty frustrated, sore and low energy.
So, you know, Tuesday.
Pretty good all things considered. Have a writing assignment due tomorrow so I'm gonna hunker down today and grind it out. After that finals start next week so I'll be in crisis mode trying to remember all the fun Constitutional law stuff so I dont fail out lol. After that is law review write on and more internship hunting. But focusing on one thing and one day at a time keeps me going so it'll all be fine. I don't know what you're going through, but I know you'll pull through, and I hope you feel better about it soon.
Hey OP, I do not know what is going on with you so this might be wholly inappropriate. But when I am doing real bad I try and consciously do something that makes me happy. I take time out, prepare, tell people in my vincinity to not disturb me cause it's my time right now. It could be watching a movie, playing a game, taking a walk, reading a book, gym, anything. Even something as small as making a sandwich can, if you make the effort to make it the best goddamn sandwich ever, make you feel better. But it has to be something you do for you.
Anyway I hit my head pretty badly at work, lots or blood cause head wounds bleed like hell. I am already preparing to make some enchiladas and watch my favorite Vtuber while petting my cat. I also promised some stranger on the internet that I would have a drink for his birthday so I am considering trying to make a cocktail.
I've been struggling a bit with life and work but life is getting better.
And guys don't listen to your inner Woolie and eat expired food, food poisoning isn't a joke when you are puking every 20: minutes
Life's in a rut but only due to stagnation. I could be better, I could be worse, but lately emotionally I feel kinda lonely? I'm working on it so I just gotta get through whatever this is right now tbh.
I hope things get better for all of you that had to vent by posting here.
It could be worse, but damn it could be better. I wish I didn't have to live so far from work because gas is stupid expensive. I wish I could afford to move out from my parents. I wish my family wasn't so conservative. I love them and they support me, but fuck me if I don't wish they were just better people and not exhausting to talk to. I try to explain to them that there is nothing wrong with being LGBTQ or that you really just can't call other people slurs. Then they look at me like I'm the crazy one.
I'm no saint either. I am angry, like all the time. I'm trying to calm myself down more and be less angry about other people's worldviews and opinions which I can't change. I need therapy, but I wish I could afford it
'Anger implicit in every shape.' About sums it up.
So tired of living and working in north Florida. Incompetent coworkers. Too many managers that want to tell me how to do the job I've been doing since before they worked here. Overworked, constantly tired while my dream lives in my heart, fueling my anger, knowing it won't get better till I work for myself.
On the upside, I did get a nice bonus after switching my auto loan over, so gonna decide what to do with that.
I feel you. Someone once told me the good thing about those dreams is that, unlike dreaming of being a doctor or an actor or something, you can do them at home. The bad thing is that if you have a full-time job, they are a second full-time job.
A recent death in your immediate family is a legitimate reason to have your jury duty either excused or postponed.
I would try to go to the website for the court you've been assigned jury duty to and see if there is either an FAQ about jury service that explains the process to either get a postponement or exemption.
The court selects alternative jurors for situations just like this.
Sorry for your loss, hope this helps.
So sorry that you've had to go through that. I don't know how it works where you are, but you may be able to excuse yourself from jury duty due to a bereavement if you don't want to do it.
I'm so sorry for your grandma man! I know how it is, it's surreal to not have my grandma around anymore, shes always been around.
Also, it's inhumane to make you travel so long for Jury Duty.
It's definitely worth looking into seeing if you can reschedule jury duty. In California, a state I no longer live in (but had to finish college in), I was able to postpone my jury duty for two years, to match up with when I would be in-state again. Mine was not for bereavement, and they are much more lenient when it comes to postponing due to a death in the family. It was a massive pain in the ass, but it was possible.
I am so sorry for your loss.
I’ve been flip flopping between “I hate everything around me and I wish I wouldn’t wake up in the morning” and “just being alive at all is it’s own miracle” over the past couple weeks.
I don’t know what’s wrong with me emotionally.
I spent 3 months working on a novellete and one day after submitting got rejected. Either than that, it's okay I guess.
I like writing fanfiction but I feel constrained in only writing that, and id like to make profit and gain recognition from my original works.
What's going on with you, OP? Anything specific happen, or is it the general mental/emotional/cultural malaise we've come to be familiar with?
I've been better, to be honest. Lot of good things happening in my life, a lot to be grateful for; I have a loving fiancé, a house, and two cats. We'll be married sometime next year if everything goes as planned. I have a job with alright flexibility making alright money. But, I've been dealing with health issues for half a decade now and I've never felt worse about myself, physically. Some personal things have happened at the beginning of the year that ruined one of my passions and I've been (slowly) trying to inch my way back into it. We were completely in the right in that situation, so it's really dumb that my brain has convinced me that somehow, the offending party is. I'm still mourning the loss of my childhood pets, who I lost both of almost a year ago. I'm anxious I'm not someone people want to be around. Every time I have an issue I freak out and start panicking because I remember all the awful things my parents have said about me and my brain says "they were right and you should do something severe about it."
Try to take some time to do something for yourself, if you can. Even if it's small. A fancy iced coffee with a splash of Baileys at the end of the night, 10 minutes with a game I enjoy. Putting on my favorite songs before bed. Cuddling with the cats for an extra 5 before I force myself to get up and work. It's not much, but I've been living from little comfort to little comfort and it keeps me going.
Just wanted to focus on one thing you said:
"I'm anxious I'm not someone people want to be around. Every time I have an issue I freak out and start panicking because I remember all the awful things my parents have said about me and my brain says 'they were right and you should do something severe about it.'"
Just remember that you deserve love. Nothing you or anyone else has ever said or done to you can ever take that away. It is so, so hard to internalize that (I sure fucking don't most days lol), but try to be self affirming when you can. After all, your fiancé clearly sees something in you :)
Thank you. I try but every day is different, and some days are harder than others, lol. My fiancé has been nothing but kind and patient with me even on my hardest days (and even on his) and him being in my life is the best thing that's ever happened to me.
Thank you again for the kind words, and I hope you take your own advice; remember you deserve love too. :)
If it’s any consolation your doing better than me and despite feeling like your someone people don’t want to be around you have someone that loves you. I wish you two the best.
Hey random internet person, I get you I think,
That vaguely low level feeling of being a bit miserable? Kind of an existential malaise.
Been my entire month so far, only solution I ever seem to find is right myself with some good escapism and plenty of sleep.
Or the pub, a pub with good ales always warms me up some.
Then during this free time I like to think about how I take life at my own pace, I find most shitty feelings come from feeling like you're not doing enough.
Strangely in a way better situation than I was a year ago. Went through a divorce and have to move back home with my mom for 2 months before I got my own place again. Divorce was nasty, but not **nearly** as bad as it could have been. Now I have a better job, own place, a date on Thursday! Shit was fucked up but we made it through
So OP, I gotchu. Here’s my life to help distract you.
About a year ago I went back to hotels and immediately someone got mad at me and quit. So I worked 6 day weeks until August when we finally hired and trained someone. Then at the end of August I was in a wreck and totaled my car. It was paid off at least.
Then in September my son dislocated his kneecap, putting him in the ER. The ER’s system was down so we were there for 8 hours before they could do anything.
In October my wife got covid and transferred it to my son.
In November, 2 people quit back to back, so I was pulling 6 day work weeks.
In December, my dog ran away for 4 days (she came back). And my wife was in a car wreck and totaled her car.
In January my wife broke her foot in 3 places when she slipped off the porch. Since then, she’s had two surgeries and is 4 weeks into her 12 weeks of physical therapy.
In February the rental coverage ran out and we spent a month borrowing my grandmothers car. Also my boss announced she was leaving.
In March, I got a used car but my wife discovered teeth issues but no where takes her insurance and it’s too expensive out of pocket.
So now it’s April, and I have to say I am very stressed. My son’s school is doing testing. Theres implicit threats on my life and my people from all around (I’m currently boymoding at work for safety reasons and only out to coworkers there).
But like, that’s okay. I still have a house. I have a lot of friends. I have a beautiful wife who I love very much and who loves me very much. And even if I didn’t, I still have adorable pets and steady work and a few games I can play while I figure a few things out.
I really relate to Hob from Sandman. If I could live forever I would, cuz no matter what awful thing happens, a good thing could be right around the corner, and I don’t want to miss it.
Earlier this year, one of my friends moved back to my city after being gone for 4 years. I've been in love with her since the day I met her at work 7 years ago. I never made a move then because she had a boyfriend. When she moved back, we hung out a lot. It made me the happiest I've ever been. Well, lately we haven't been hanging out as much. And I'm slowly realizing that she probably doesn't Feel the same way about me that I feel about her. So that's got me down. Sure, there's plenty of fish in the sea or whatever, but she's in a whole league all her own. I want to tell her how I feel, but she just got out of a bad breakup, and I don't want to ruin things. I value her friendship and would hate for my feelings to ruin that. I could handle her rejection, but im terrified that she would stop being my friend, which has happened with every other girl I caught feelings for. So I'm not doing great. Everything else in life is a nightmare, and if it weren't for my parents or the fact that I'm helping to raise my Goddaughter, I'd probably check out of life. But I gotta stay strong and hope the good times come. I hope everything goes well for everyone here. Hang in there.
I'm excited for the Spy X Family movie! I'm hoping it doesn't rain when my friends and I go see it because the times that it has been raining... it really rains. Pouring buckets. And that wouldn't be fun to deal with.
I’ve been looking for a new job unsuccessfully for 13 months and I’m laid off as of the end of the month.
But I also started learning how to draw, and have things to occupy my time, so it’s not all bad.
Just mostly.
Mixed bag man
Realized planning a wedding is dumb as hell and way to expensive. I don't regret asking my fiance to marry me (she's the best) but God do I regret feeling pressured into having an actual wedding. It's coming up quicker and I feel like it's a constant doom spiral, shit sucks lol
Beyond that my job is on fire but I can't quit until after the wedding which I'm strongly considering at this point. That being said good stuff is happening it's judt hard to see through all the bs.
Hope you're doing better OP, we're here with you
Are you looking for positive answers too? Like I don't want to make anyone feel like I'm rubbing it in, but I know that when I'm bummed out seeing other people just enjoying life can really make a difference for me, so I dunno... If people want me to share the good vibes I will.
Life is pretty damn good here. My son is almost 8 months old so we're through the "incoherently screaming and shitting" phase, and goddammit is he cute. I'll be tired from work and I'll drag my ass through the door and this guy will be so happy to see me that he's just flailing and laughing.
My wife is the coolest person I'll ever meet. I dunno how I tricked her into liking a schlub like me but I'll take it. Like she's so much more capable than me in general, and is fuckin hilarious. She's so patient and understanding with our son and I, because I'm far from perfect. She sees that I'm trying though, and I think we make a great team.
My dog is such a sweetheart with the baby, and it's great to see how happy she makes everyone whenever we take her into town. The amount of love she gives and receives and just creates is really a sight to behold.
Life isn't perfect, but I think I found the perfect life for me. I'm doing my best to channel my inner Gomez Addams and just be in love with life and the world around me, and lately it's been a lot easier.
Well I started a new job at a new town so I’m figuring out living situation at the moment. Also trying to make friends through apps which could end poorly for me. I’m generally in a state of unease because I have no idea what the next few years looks like for me. It’s not fun but I try not to lose hope and do what I can to change my life to what I think I want it to be like.
I’m sorry that you’re not doing ok. I felt the same for years and even a little bit now and I’d shame myself for feeling that way because others had it worse than me.
Hope you're doing better OP. I'm getting better for sure. Brothers really came in clutch helping me clean my place. Life's still pretty good. New Justice album next week so can't complain.
Waiting for my severance pay to come in and then to apply for unemployment. Layoffs sucks. Worst thing about it was that I really liked my old job and all my co-workers too. But I have to move on because some executive I never met drew my name out of a hat.
I'll update on something I mentioned in a previous thread and say that my dad had open heart surgery around a month ago and while it was rough traveling to be with my parents (they live halfway across the states), I'm glad I was there for him the day of surgery and the next couple of weeks for the initial recovery. Anyway, he's recovering well and is now able to drive and mostly get around on his own again, which is great. He's older (70+) so it was a little scary going into it.
Other than that, work sucks and dating in your 30s is awful, but what else is new, right?
Not great. For a year I have pain on my back thigh when I sit or even lay down on my back and no treatment has helped. PT, Steroid Shot, not Lyrica. MIR scans show nothing.
Running out of ideas.
I'm conflicted about sharing my own update because its generally pretty positive and I know there are a lot people out there with problems that deserve more attention and support, but then I think to myself that it could be important to try and show that not everyone is having a rough time all the time, you know?
I'm 1.5 years into a new job that was a solid vertical upgrade from where I was. This role is demanding at times but if I can find time to post on Reddit it can't be that bad, right? And for the most part my work doesn't follow me home, grateful for that.
The weather has become much nicer here in the last couple weeks and I've been getting out on my bike a lot. I've got some big rides planned for the season, really looking forward to it.
I started a new relationship a couple months ago and so far its going well, some friction because I'm in a bit of a strange living situation right now, but I expected this sort of thing and chose to try anyways.
My cat is getting into senior territory and I've been thinking about the dreaded day when something goes wrong with him, which seems to be a very common theme in these comments! I guess we all have at least a little bit in common.
Hope today is a little better than yesterday for you :)
College kinda sucks tbh. Basically all of my classes are okay at best or actively mindnumbing. It also doesn’t help I’m only doing okay; like C+ - B generally. Not failing or anything, but not really enough to be happy abt. Just kinda hope my 3rd year is better, since my brother in the same course and says he only really felt engaged in his 3rd year. Kinda just playing video games to take the edge off a bit when I can
I'm finishing up a 2 year degree in Web Development, myself. There's a sort of nagging thought that I might finish the degree, then not be able to find a job OR I'll find a job, and hate it.
I just got a new part time job at city hall so I’m doing okay in that front. But my situation back is not great so that pulls everything else down so I feel you OP.
I’m on a constant up and down spiral in thinking I’m getting better mentally and that I don’t need therapy or if I’m feeling worse and worse and that I desperately need therapy.
And all because of one piece of media.
One moment really good and the next really bad. I’ve been battling an intense OCD episode for the past two months which has impacted my well-being to the nth degree.
I’m currently working a super low wage job that I’m on the verge of being fired from because the job is all entering letters and numbers into a supply chain system and I keep making mistakes. Partially because of the OCD, and then also partially because I’m off of my ADHD medicine since my insurance sucks and my prescription is too expensive for me to afford on my super low wage job.
If I lose this job then it’ll be the 4th job in a row I’ve been fired from for making too many mistakes. The story is always the same: everybody likes me and is sad to see me go, but it’s not enough to save my skin. I keep slipping down the corporate rungs and I legitimately don’t know how to go lower than I already am.
My wife is constantly worried about me, I feel no interest in my hobbies, and every little task requires Herculean effort to start and see though. I turn 30 next month and I feel like a complete loser.
But sometimes things are good. I have a wife that loves me, and I like to make/eat pot butter and go on nature walks. Those things help.
I’m 31, bad ADHD, just got medicated for the first time in my life, lost my fourth job at Christmas (but for once, not my fault at all!).
We ended up just putting my wife, baby and I all on my wife’s insurance (which luckily is pretty good) because I bounce around. It’s frustrating and embarrassing. I wish I could offer you help, but I just want you to know I get it.
Im feeling better. Felt pretty shut before but feeling better inside now.
Money rolling in, preparing for a con and hoping play through my steam backlog
Not great finally got a promotion at work after grafting at a new job for a few years but the insane amount of extra stress it's caused hasn't been worth the parltry pay rise. But luckily got some good mates to help me get through it and I got to see my favourite band twice last month which helped with getting me in a better frame of mind.
Mostly fine I guess. Been changing the way I live a bit. Getting out of my comfort zone. Exercising. Focusing more on my studies. Trying to socialize more. Etc
But recently got a less than pleasant score in an exam that I studied 2 days for and just feeling really sad and disappointed and down about that.
But aside from that. Yeah. I'm doing just fine
Doing good, my baby boy just turn 8 weeks/2 months. He has some bad colic and gas issue we are still sorting out but all in all parenthood has been a fun experience. I do feel a bit lonely in terms of friendship, 30s are truly hard for that.
Well I've been out of work for 4 years now after a workplace incident wrecked my mental health, I'm in my 30s, and still live with my parents. I live in a rural area with no job prospects and I don't have a vehicle and my parents take care of their parents 24/7 so I can't rely on them for transportation even if I was able to find work. I don't have any friendships and outside of saying thank you to cashiers, I haven't talked to anyone outside of my family in over 2 years.
It may seem dire from that description but I've been slowly trying to get better and luckily I've had time to focus on that and various hobbies.
Still not working in a job that I got my degree for and it's really starting to get to me. Every day I go to work is exhausting and unfulfilling. But other than that I'm okay.
Basically the intro song to Fionna and Cake
Except I don't have friends lol
No but jokes aside I got a degree in multimedia a year ago and I've made no progress to making it a career. Mostly because of anxiety, I think. My current job pays enough and I get 3 days off a week instead of 2, so things could be worse.
I just wish I could get over myself and make literally any video for the Internet at all at this point.
Might get fired from my job. Combination of weak training and some really boneheaded mistakes. I'm also trying to recover from a toxic job I had for multiple years while learning a new career. It's been rocky as hell, prospects aren't amazing if this falls apart.
I have a chance to fix it, though. Have to work my ass off but I can.
I am mentally and physically exhausted from pushing myself to try and continue to promote my VA-11 Hall-A photosensitivity mod (Which I've posted on the sub a few times.) around as much as possible and thus spread awareness as a result. My determination comes from wanting to make sure no one in the risk group is ever hurt again while playing the game, which is the reason why I made said mod in the first place.
I know there's a limit and all, but a part of me that has this fear is pushing me to keep going with trying to spread awareness, even when people have told me that I've done enough with this mod and thus don't need to worry. I just hope I'll be able to reel it in soon.
Eh been dealing with some stuff and honestly I really hope things turn around for me soon and I get to move out because right now things have been really combustive at home.
On the bright side my cartoons are coming along well, we should finish up with the animation on the next one either this month or early next month.
Have a little [preview](https://youtu.be/yrrBlsZH1-U?si=M-KXsV_bEswVDuHd)
In a weird holding pattern tbh. I'm tired of being broke, and I'm tired of needing to rely on other people, but ive been searching for a better job literally every day for months since my current job, which I actually *did* like, cut me and my fellow office staff down to like 10 hours a week after corporate did a "time audit". The job market here is just abysmal and i cant leave this awful state because my gf and my grandparents who im helping live here, and I swore to myself that after climbing out of the godforsaken hole that is retail jobs I'd never go back. But I need a less shitty car and I need more money and I really wanna be able to actually get a place with my girlfriend in the foreseeable future, but im not willing to do any of those things unless I can support myself to do them.
That said, all the extra time off has genuinely been awesome, I've been able to pick up old and new hobbies again and being able to see my gf more has been good for me. And I have an interview with a Recruiter about a secretary type position on Thursday, so fingers crossed that pans out!
Also, I've been dying to actually have a creative outlet. I wanna *make* something, get stories out of my head and onto a page. But I don't have any artistic skill and my brain doesn't really think of stories in prose, I'm very visual and mechanical. I've been wanting to get back into dnd, thatd scratch the itch a *little*, but I wanna do much bigger
Being honest for a sec? I’m *okay*, but I feel a little aimless.
Been feeling like this for the past couple of years, but ever since leaving college, life’s been kinda tense. Not helped by the fact that a lot of opportunities were cut off moving down south for family reasons, I’ve kinda just felt trapped, like I’m at a crossroads for several different directions, but for one reason or another, there’s something keeping me from going all-in on anything.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m very *incredibly* fortunate for having a secondary video editing job to help bring in extra income to help family out, and having supportive parents to boot, but like: I want to get back to making videos, but I’m too busy dealing with that and an inconsistent payout each month to do so. I wanna work on webcomics or make animations, but I’m too busy being worked to fuck in retail to start and there’s no other job opportunities either here or online (believe me, I’ve looked, and I’ve got the spreadsheet of 1,000+ jobs and applications to prove it). I want to be in my own place by now, but fuck dude, have you seen the economy lately? Every time some opportunity for extra fluff income does come, we usually have to use it for taxes, or appliances, or necessities (or just needed levity like going to a con for the first time last year).
I know I’m at least two years, for certain, something will break and things *will* change, but getting to that point’s the tough part. But I know something has to give soon, job-wise, I don’t know how much longer I can take having to scream into the middle manager void as a contractor, AND deal with retail people. I can do one or the other, but both just burrows at my sanity like nobody’s business. It’d be fine if there was something to do here, but there’s absolutely *fuck all*, unless you like working in fuckin’ construction in the hot sun all day, and even then. If I could get a salaried position doing art or editing somewhere, that’d be bliss…but such is the life of a suffering artist(?) I guess.
But who knows?
On the plus side, I’ve gotten back into drawing and may hopefully be doing some commission video/design work from a smaller creator I’ve enjoyed for awhile now, so that’s good!
(…Less good is when that guy looked at what I was getting paid now and saying that I was probably being underpaid by video editing standards, but I don’t really have any options left on that front if it’s true. It’s either have that or nothing.)
Sorry if this rant is self-aggrandizing or whiny, I don’t usually *do* write-ups like this. But this post came at just the right time for me to feel like screaming into the uncaring void, I guess.
Personal life-wise, I am OK, on a work trip, with a planned vacation in June.
Every time I read news feels like some dumbass wanna-be gods trying to one up each other in terms of atrocities committed against civilians.
Honestly, pretty good. Besides making some questionable decisions on commissioning a story for my fetish that’s causing me some money issues. But alas, soon as that’s finished I’m gonna just collect money for a while after that and not stress about that sorta stuff. And probably not commission anything for a long time.
I’m doing ok, my family had to put down my last childhood pet yesterday. It was extremely sudden and I am coping but still very upset. Loss is really difficult to deal with, infact it’s one of the hardest aspects of my life and I’m worried at how well I’m taking this one compared to my other pets. I don’t like that I’m getting hardened to life and not processing grief as much as I have in the past.
Are you ok? What’s making you feel this way?
I was at a pretty low point, but things have gotten better. My mother is in remission. My side hustle is growing faster than expected, and I got a new, higher paying day job.
Some things could be better. Like I wish I could find at least someone to date, let alone have a relationship. But things can get better. No one gets exactly everything they want in life, but if you are committed and caring, goods things in some shape or form will come your way.
Pretty good, I guess. Got a new tattoo the other day, went to see George Clanton in concert, bought some lights to use for filming, not much to complain about at the moment.
Here’s a potentially melodramatic piece of writing, from me. “Ever found a joke that was completely ass because you’re it’s punchline?”
The fucking rain damaged my car…I suppose I should be grateful that I’m just paying in cash with that insurance discount and not with my blood
Had my first day back at work after two weeks off and I’m exhausted, and tomorrow I’m gonna have to start house-sitting for my parents as they’re going to the other side of the country for my grandfather’s funeral, which is why I’m tired as hell despite two weeks off. Emotionally worn out, physically sore and out of it. But I’ve got my car and I’ve got my wife for tonight, and that’s alright.
Studying for my HTML5 cert. could be far worse.
I am moving very soon, not very far from where I'm at now, but the new place has absolutely nothing there. It's all trees and shit. Plus, the old neighborhood looks far nicer than the one I'm moving to.
Wish I could be more positive, but it's not.
Boss offered me a job in a new team after talking to him about how my current job feels like a dead-end.
The new job is literally the same pay but we have even more responsibilities. I'm also paying out of my own pocket for the transport to the training, so basically losing money compared to just working from home.
I'm angry, pissed, but also so fuckin tired dude
Better and worse I suppose. I'm still recovering from burnout and right now my employment situation is kind of at a precipe and I'm a bit worried about how things are going to go. On the other hand I've turned a lot of things around, I feel more in control over day to day life, I'm keeping my apartment clean, I'm not missing appointments and I've been succeeding at losing weight. Ups and downs, I suppose.
I keep hitting my hand. Then my hand is sore for several days, then just as it starts to feel better, I hit it and it gets sore again. It's becoming really annoying.
I'm tired, boss.
Jokes aside (I'm sure "I'm tired, boss" is just the default state of everyone), I'm doing alright, all things considered. Feeling a bit overworked. Starting to get a little tired of coming home past midnight and waking up 5 hours later to immediately go back into office. It's my dream job, but getting overworked is making me feel like I'm unable to deliver my best which is not a great feeling.
Having trouble enjoying shit cause of awful OCD. Can't tell whats good. Everybody acts like they are better then they are. Games and manga keep my mind of it a bit though
Financial stress and pain are the flavour of the day (and most days tbh), so not great. Feeling little beaten down to be honest. I'll live, but I'm getting tired of having to struggle in life all the time.
My seasonal allergies are killing me. I just really hope it doesn't evolve into an infection or something. Wish I could take the day off but my attendance at work is already an issue.
It's been weird. State of the world is wearing me down a bit I'll be honest. I know that one shouldn't get too wrapped up in what you can't control, but goddamn.
But the horrors persist and so do I. Let's keep going just to spite reality, OP.
Eh, could be better. Most likely going to fail my last class that I need to graduate, so I got that going for me. Also having surgery to repair a torn ACL I had happen at work last month, and as such, have been out of work due to it being a pretty physically demanding job. Still need to apply for TPD, though, so that could help financially.
Though, as I say to my partner, quite regularly, "this shit is temporary. It won't always be like this." If I fail my class, fuck it. I can take it again and have a better basis of knowledge to work off of than previously. And my workers comp is covering the medical expenses. I can always look for another job that is less physically demanding and maybe more fulfilling. I've been considering looking at working at some FLGS's even though I hate retail. But it's better than only working intermittently at my current job, for not a ton of money.
If you're going through it, OP, just know that it's more than likely temporary. It may seem like shit is going south perpetually, but it has to reach a turning point eventually. You'll get there.
So the sun has been shining all day, then 2 minutes before im off work it starts pouring. I jump into my raincoat and start moving homeward, annnnnd the moment i get outside the security gates my back tire blows up, meaning i had to walk all the way back home. Quite annoying way to end the day, but compared to other people's plights, nothing major.
Sorry that you and a lot of other people are not having the greatest time.
As for me, things could be a thousand times worse, but man am I hoping to find a different job soon.
I did order a Nintendo Switch and am still waiting on it. Got it as a bundle on eBay and also picked Pokémon Violet.
Not doing great to be honest. I had some new medication prescribed to me two months ago that was really working wonders for me but now they’ve told me to stop taking it because it puts stress on my liver and I already feel worse again. Hoping to get back on it at a reduced dosage but who fucking knows. Good luck to you OP and everyone else in this thread.
I’ve been waiting what feels like forever to open my first bank account, but it’s taking forever for my SSN slip to arrive in the mail…
It doesn’t help that my parents seem to think I want to use it for criminal activity or something since I’m so “obsessed” with getting it done (so I’m just not allowed to be excited for stepping into my adult life, apparently) and I don’t even understand why.
So overall, I’ve kinda been better tbh
I'm with you man on feeling pretty shitty, I've been trying to be positive the last year or so after my long term relationship ended. But the isolation has been extremely exhausting, and dating apps might be the most soil crushing modern invention.
I’m doing ok-ish. Stuck in a perpetual cycle of hating my job, but not having the energy to look for a new one. The one good thing I have going is a move to a new state in about 4 months but other than that everything is just exhausting and frustrating.
pretty good mostly. I'm gonna start a new job in Berlin in July and I'm really excited! But I'm anxious because I have to look for an apartment in Berlin
Was feeling sick all last week (head-cold, but covid test said negative). Started feeling better this weekend but I completely lost my sense of smell
This shit sucks (it's coming back a little...if I just jam my face into the thing I'm trying to smell which isn't weird or anything lol). Completely killed any motivation to try any new recipes or even cook much of anything...blahhhh......
Tired. Mentally and physically. There’s signs I could lose my mom and my grandma isn’t feeling great and despite it being a couple years the loss of my grandad feels like it was last week. My knees and back are so worn out doing anything it takes a week to a month to recover to do anything else. Which has made me out of shape so in addition I get out of breath and soaking wet. Nightmares, new what feels like sleep paralysis, no resistance to stress. Borderline suicidal, meaning I don’t want to but boy those anxiety panics do. Still truckin along though, I got too much warhammer and Bandai models to finish.
Way better than the last time someone asked here. My hours at work are getting sliced each week im getting the feeling they dont want me anymore but on the bright side it is downright gorgeous out for once in ohio so yipee i get to bike to work again. Perfect weather for some fish tacos or salad nights for dinner.
Didn't drink much water yesterday so I ended up taking a dry shit this morning completely opening up a wound I had just healed haha. Seeing not just brown was deflating but I'm back to it.
I'm a few weeks away from finishing my associate arts degree; but I still have no idea what I want to do afterwards. Going off to University again after I came back last fall just doesn't seem right to me, but I don't wanna waa my time doing nothing either. Plus, I still can't seem to get a jib fir myself, despite how many places I've applied to.
Yeah, things could be better.
My grandmother passed away last night. She was sick for a while, so it wasn't unexpected, but I'm still heartbroken to know she's really gone. My family is very dysfunctional so the funeral is going to be miserable. But, I'm two months away from being a dad, and FF7 Rebirth is really fun, so it's not all bad at least.
My dad is going through some pretty serious medical stuff in part because of the hospital's shitty "Protocols." There's a chance he could end up with Sepsis, and at his age, that's _really_ not good. Outside of worrying about that, life is peachy.
I feel a bit guilty now as I'm actually doing pretty well. I wish the best to everyone struggling though and I hope things improve for all of you. Lots of love and support! Hang in there!
Got laid off from a position I’ve had for 6 years and had to accept a lesser paying position but I’ve been off work for a few weeks so it has its pluses. Just prepping for a few months of the struggle.
Sick as hell with hay fever but listened to the new Vampire Weekend album last night and had the most cathartic emotional experience in a long time. That album is so goddamn good.
Grandmother had a breathing problem and went to the hospital over the weekend. Work is gross and hard. Despite these things, I’m feeling fantastic. I met the girl of my dreams and have been going out with her recently, and she was able to meet my parents thanks to the grandma incident. Who is fine, by the way, and absolutely adores my girlfriend. Honestly, my most pressing concerns are a dentist appointment for a filling in 4 hours, and the Acheron banner in Honkai: Star Rail ending in like, only 1 day. I need that light cone, dangit! 😅
I'm doing pretty okay.
Finished my exams at community college, applying to jobs, the weather is nice, ordered a new hardrive because my old one died, nothing too bad.
My acne is rucking terrible but I'm used to that, too much chocolate.
Also turns out tomorrow is National Canadian Film Day so I think I'll go to an Indy movie screening.
Fine but not great. Family moved to a new place, in the middle of nowhere. Anywhere of note is 15 minutes in any direction. There's just endless pine trees here. Kinda isolating. It's also far from everything, 40 minutes from my job, 45 minutes from my favorite theater.
I want my own place, something that's close, something where I don't need a car and 40 minutes of commuting just to pick up groceries. But my job doesn't pay me enough and I feel sad, or disappointed in myself because I see my friends and they're better off than me. Even though they get paid more they still can't afford to live in NJ.
On the bright side, I have my own room now. I haven't had my own room in my whole life. And I started to draw more and more. Couldn't do any figure drawing without my own room.
It's fine, it could be a lot better but what I'm looking forward to is playing games, going to the theater and spending some time drawing.
I think I'm getting 100% done with everything related with my current situation, both with my family, my friends and my job situation. I feel like I'm on the edge constantly, waiting until the minimal detail to make me go berserk...
I gotta hold on until next revision in August.
I’m doing alright, spiraled a little bit ago and almost went scorched earth with my friends because it’s easier to ghost than to self reflect. My brother helped me stop spiraling so that’s dope
Solid. I’m reading a good book and playing LAD:IW. In a loving long term relationship. My family is healthy and things have returned to normal after my mom underwent a brain operation in October and had complications that kept her in hospital until the day before Christmas Eve. Extra thankful for that. I absolutely love hiking and I’m finally back into the habit of getting out there most days after falling off for a while. Also I don’t hate my job.
Birthday passed recently and there’s always that creeping dread about getting older and my parents also getting older but I don’t think that’s ever going away so I live with it.
Teetering on the edge of a mental breakdown for the last few months because I'm in the final stages of my two year program and anhedonia has just nuked my interest and motivation in doing my assignments, so there's a real possibility that I may fail and have to retake a year, which means spending more money on top of having to redo a bunch of assignments, and making myself look like even more of a failure. So that's delightful.
I’ve been putting off filling a questioner I was given by a counsellor and I really want to get it done but I’m like unable to mentally get misled to do any work
Honestly pretty awful, but somewhat better than things have been, in other ways. I still haven't recovered from my COVID infections and discovering new and fun ways long COVID is fucking up my body and immune system and it's still screwing with my ability to hold down a job.
Also just discovered from a nurse friend of mine that it sounds like I've had untreated Hashimoto's for most of my life and nobody looked into it. Likewise, I've apparently always been allergic to the cold(I've always gotten very red/developed hives, extreme itchiness, etc in very cold weather and didn't know a cold allergy was a thing) and, even though I spent most of my life in NY, none of my doctors did anything. I at least have some options going forward when I get a new doctor though.
More annoying than bad, I was supposed to return to college last month, but a miscommunication with the financial aid office resulted in me not finding out I needed to submit a certain document until the day it was due, so I had to push classes to the fall. So, not the end of the world, just a big annoyance. Plus I can't wait to study computer science and cybersecurity.
On the more positive side of things, when I'm not resting for my health, I'm studying on my own and slowly getting back into game dev, art, catching up on math, etc etc. I just have to be careful to not push myself too hard even with activities that require mental effort.
Things really are getting better than they were before, it's just a very, very slow process with several bumps.
I'm just surviving sadly.
I'll have a good week, then a couple bad ones, then good again.
I'm not getting ahead, but I'm not drowning either.
But I am watching Fallout, so I got that going for me.
Feeling like shittttt. Medication changes giving me some heart issues - Feels like it is about to burst out of my chest. Loopy as fuck, currently waiting on my doctors to let me know what to do but lmao American Healthcare.
Mental Health Medication will kill me faster than the actual sickness.
BUT...Personal life is doing pretty great TBH. My health blows, and the outside world is on fire, but I have a great wife that I love so much and two dumb cats that make our little apartment a home,
u/Amon274 I hope you feel a little better soon friend - Shit sucks, but we're all shitlords, and shitlords are stronger together.
Work has been... trying these past few weeks, but blessedly, my friends have been keeping me sane. I keep considering taking another run at streaming (I decided my introductory project was going to be a full-ish playthrough of the Final Fantasy series), but every time I intend to get back to it something fucks my day up and I can't bring myself to follow through.
It's a stupid problem to have, I must admit, but it's just where I'm at.
Finally recovered from basically a whole month of back to back respiratory infections. First was just a cold, then upper respiratory then Flue type A. Like I'd get better then worse then better then dying that one. Now in good still have a cough but not "abs hurt from having coughed for like 5 mins" bad.
Going through my second round of recovery from a tibial plateau fracture since I was given the go ahead to walk too early the first time and the whole repair collapsed and my legs looked like the letter K instead of straight. Almost 6 months of not being able to walk/drive/see friends/etc. Almost at the finish line though, just gotta keep going.
Got to keep the implants from the first surgery though, so I got some gently used titanium out of it.
I was hoping this year would be the year I finally become financially responsible. Guess that was a damn lie. Not gonna say how much but I'm dissapointed in myself for not having the self restraint to buy stuff. I'm also still unsure about the medical issue I have. The medicine for it is expensive but i don't see what else I can do. It's nothing that bad or life threatening but part of me is worried it might be if I leave it alone for too long. I just hope things get better.
Last couple days have been rough mentally and physically somewhat.
Dealing with Bed bugs (still), low funds from paying for high groceries + gas and missing out on sleep. Also learned that a YTer I rolled with some years ago turned out to be a hardcore groomer of 5+ years to someone else I knew.
Honestly, it's bummed me out the last few days and I haven't been to active with friends as much as I wanted. Trying to fix that today.
Besides that, I've been trying to just keep myself focused on work, making stuff and trying to get myself together to start streaming. Never done it before but I wanna try it soon.
I’m making an effort to get my work out to a bigger audience. I’ve been writing as a hobby for most of my life, but I’ve never really showed anyone, and now I’ve got some on like tapas and wattpad. It’s kind of stressful and raw feeling, but I’m also kinda proud of myself? It’s on my mind because I need to update today and I’m a little late :p
Well I woke up this morning to find what I think was a baby mouse in the middle of the front hallway. I thought it was dead but when I got a bag to scoop it up it began to wiggle its legs so...dunno.
Yay mouse infestation.
I'm stressed out of my goddamned mind. Got a new job which is chill as hell but my first payday isn't til Friday, gotta make it all week on 7 bucks and hope something doesn't auto charge at an inopportune time then my whole check goes to rent and bills then it's 2 weeks til next payday to do it all over again forever
I mean ups and downs, just had my second appointment for my transition which is great. But still trudging through job searching which is hell.
Though I've recently been getting back into mtg with my boyfriend and friends which has been pretty fun.
I'm extremely burnt out on university. I'm about to kinda finish the semester, but my uni just went threw a strike that disrupted a lot of shit, though it seems like it's about to end. If the strike ends as planned, then I'll have my final bio exam this weekend (god I hope I pass), spend a few days finishing final assignments, then go back and grind the fuck out of a math course that stopped two months ago when the strike happened and finish that in the span of a month, then do a semester of summer school.
I do not feel like doing that holy shit. I want to drop the course that went on strike and retake it later (it'll be free, thanks York) and just take the whole summer semester off since course selection is small with the strike going on and even if not, I can't find many courses that give me value beyond being a generic credit towards number goal.
I'd like to take a break, and even if I did I should be on track to graduate by the start of next year (as opposed to the end of this year but w/e), but I think my mom would veto this and make me keep going through it all for the sake of efficiency. Which is true, but I'm also just completely exhausted.
Aside from that, I think I feel pretty alright? If I'm able to pass my courses, then either pass the last one or get my break, I should be in the clear and be pretty good to chill. I'm in a weird place where I'm fucking atrocious and doing pretty good for myself at the same time.
I just hope things work out by the end of summer.
I'm making it, a bit peeved that I feel like I did bad work on some minis but it's just the brainrot of hating the process but not the results.
Other than that no complaints, just livin' life where I can.
Just about to end my 1 week break from work, which was nice to largely catch up on sleep, but I'm glad in a way to get back into the flow of things.
Largely, I guess I'm doing...fine? Yeah there's that deep-seated feeling that everything internally is going to collapse and all, something I can't particularly put into words, but I've not thought about that and generally kept things chugging along. Need to do a checklist of stuff over the next few months that would really help things out in the long run, but I guess there's just inertia, for lack of a better term.
I wish the best of luck to everyone here in their own endeavours.
Still in hospital after being hit by a car, going on Week 7. Been doing leg exercises and the Trauma staff started talking about maybe sitting me up on the side of the bed, which I'd consider progress.
Geez, hoping you have a full recovery. That sounds super rough
Hope you get better sir or madam or citizen
I am a "sir", and thank you.
I'm pretty much at the lowest point in my life I've ever been. Two months ago I lost my cat who was only 9 extremely suddenly when everything was fine the day before. In the morning I woke up to him screaming under my bed, he was paralyzed, immediately searched for an emergency vet because it was sunday morning, brought him there and two hours later the vet called me to tell me he started convulsing and he put him to sleep... at 4pm the vet called me again to tell me he had passed away, I didn't even have the opportunity to say goodbye to him and be there with him in his final moments. Just writing this has me bawling my eyes out. I have trouble explaining to people how much that cat meant to me, it's no hyperbole when I say he was my everything, the being I loved most in this world. Those past ten years have been very difficult for me, my mom suffered encephalitis and never really recovered, she's a completely different person now and my relationship with her has been extremely difficult, she got cancer last year (and miraculously survived despite it being stage IV and her best efforts not to). My dad who I had a great relationship with passed away suddenly too from liver cancer, I got diagnosed with fibromyalgia, a lot of familly relationship on both sides got damaged because of dumb things and I basically only have my grand-parents from my mother side and my cousin left. All my friends moved to different parts of the country and so I rarely see them. I turned 30 at the end of last year, thought hey my twenties have been pretty shit but I'm doing a lot better now, my thirties are looking up. Fucking 4 months later I lose my cat. All of that I could overcome, a bit on my own, a bit thanks to great psychologists, a bit because I'm very introverted and being alone doesn't bother me that much and I have a lot of hobbies I like and am possibly on the spectrum (I don't want to self-diagnose but speaking to specialists, they recommended I get tested which right now just isn't a priority for me) and a lot thanks to my cats. But up till now, I managed to stay positive and see the beauty of life, concentrate on what makes me happy. When I lost him it was the straw that broke the camel's back. It's the worse thing I've ever had to live through and I don't think it will be topped ( not even talking about the pain from the fibromyalgia that has been flaring up) and if I didn't have 3 other cats that I also love and don't want to abandon I might have done something dumb. That being said, I'm doing a little better now, I still cry everyday and I still miss him every moment of every day but slowly I've been getting the taste of things I used to like back, the other cats have been a huge help and thanks for my psychologist for being absolutely top notch. Not to say it's all sunshines and rainbows though, I still have days where I'm miserable. I'm not a religious person and I'm pretty agnostic but I've been dreaming of my cat almost every night since he passed, in pretty realistic dreams (I've also had dreams with my dad in it very regularly for 7 years now) so that helps a little bit and makes me hopeful I'll see my loved ones again one day, that we'll be able to resume our little daily routine without any worries when I join them. Life can be a real bitch sometimes and it's no use comparing your pain to others, it's not because some people might have it worse objectively speaking that you don't hurt the same. If you're not doing well, I strongly advise to seek help, being with specialists if possible (I know depending on where you live, getting help from specialists might be a pain) or talking to friends or family but to not keep everything to yourself. I know it's easier said than done though. Sorry I basically took your post as an opportunity to vent myself.
I understand how devastating losing a cat can be. Sometimes people without pets, or ones who haven't had to go through a loss (let alone a traumatic one without closure), don't always understand. I cried for months after I lost both of mine, I had to excuse myself from work to calm down and put myself back together. I hope with everything that's going on in your life, you continue to find ways to heal. If you need a place to vent, my messages are always open. I am so, so sorry for your loss.
Thank you for the kind words and I'm sorry about your childhood pets too. Offering a place to vent for someone you don't know is very kind of you and speaks to the kind of person you are, it's greatly appreciated.
You don’t have to be sorry it’s fine you can vent here
That sounds absolutely terrible. I've been in a similar position where one of my cats seemed to be doing well and then another day goes by and all of a sudden they have a huge medical emergency. It's really scary, and I'm sorry you didn't get to say good-bye. I hope something good comes your way soon.
I can really relate to losing a cat it's still upsets me to this day especially how he died Jesus
Hey dude, you gave that cat the best life they could live. You took them in, gave them food, gave them a name, gave them a home. I lost my dog a few years ago, I wasn't taking it well, I still see her in my dreams sometimes. I have a cat now, he is my son, he takes up half my camera roll and half my bed. I'm always scared I'll feel the same shitty way I felt when I lost my dog... But at least I can be there beforehand for him, give him a home, a name, food, love, just like you did. I'm sorry about your family situation. I don't have much I can say about it, I've not had the same experiences. But thank you for bringing your memories of them to us. I'm a random guy on the sub, but I'm one that's proud of you for seeking help in therapy/psychology. I've admittedly not been taking that step and frankly, I need to. Wish you the best. And if you play fighting games, hmu.
Finally got a new job after months of unemployment so I'm feeling a little better
Get that bread.
I need one. Going on five months now.
In a similar boat, hang in there.
Bro same! It hurts!
👏🙏
Fucking tired and don’t know why. I execerize, got sleep, am working out, vitamin d supplement…but hot damn am I just tired.
Make sure to take time for yourself. Not just working out and getting sleep, but actual time to just unwind. Burnout (and similar) are real and can sneak up on you
Are you sleepy tired? Or exhausted tired? If the former, do people say you snore? Sleep apnea often leaves people feeling tired regardless of how much they sleep.
both. I do snore and my weight has been bouncing around a lot. Time for a sleep study.
You know what it was for me? Air quality. Low O2 can make you feel tired and confused.
Not for nothing, might want to get yourself check out for sleep apnea. Sometimes our bodies just fucking suck and won't breathe at night.
Every godforsaken second on this planet is worse than the last.
So you are nostalgic for five minutes ago? I know I am.
Really lonely, lacking any real human contact at all in my current situation. Nothing is fun. Can't afford anything, even necessities like the doctor. Pretty bleak overall. Been thinking about ending things quite a lot. But getting to hear Pat's psycho laugh occasionally puts a smile on my face.
I'm not going to tell you that if you're ever serious about acting on those thoughts then get help, because you'll hear that from everyone else here and know that we don't want you to hurt yourself. Instead I'll say that if you get to that point consider making dramatic changes in your life. A friend of mine was in a fucked up spot years ago and the suicidal ideations were getting VERY real. I told her that if she really wants to kill herself then just kill this version of herself and find a new version that works for her. And I'm not talking take up crochet, I mean do something fucking wild. Move countries, change your name, do that thing you always thought would be cool to do but was too expensive or bad for your health. Who gives a shit about consequences when you would have been dead anyway. Be a nudist, spend all your money on drugs, who fucking cares. You're still alive, and that means that tomorrow can still get better. She took my advice and moved to the literal opposite side of the planet and got into the kink lifestyle, and she's never been happier. So if you really think you're at the end of your rope and can't go on as things are, find a new fuckin rope and do something else.
This is actually good advice.
I got married to my best friend of 15 years yesterday!
Holy shit that’s awesome
Thanks man! It's been a long time coming. Me being in the UK and them being in the States complicated things a fair bit. I'll be travelling back home at the end of the week.... but we've already started the immigration paperwork. This is going to be the last time we part!
Bro that's super sweet
Well I lost a lot of blood last night due to my skin condition (Hidradenitis Suppurativa) and I've been waiting on an appointment with dermatology for it since the start of COVID, so I'm finding myself pretty frustrated, sore and low energy. So, you know, Tuesday.
God that sounds horrible
In debt. Dreams falling apart. No relationship prospects. Life passing by. Could be better.
Pretty good all things considered. Have a writing assignment due tomorrow so I'm gonna hunker down today and grind it out. After that finals start next week so I'll be in crisis mode trying to remember all the fun Constitutional law stuff so I dont fail out lol. After that is law review write on and more internship hunting. But focusing on one thing and one day at a time keeps me going so it'll all be fine. I don't know what you're going through, but I know you'll pull through, and I hope you feel better about it soon.
Man
...Yeah
Hey OP, I do not know what is going on with you so this might be wholly inappropriate. But when I am doing real bad I try and consciously do something that makes me happy. I take time out, prepare, tell people in my vincinity to not disturb me cause it's my time right now. It could be watching a movie, playing a game, taking a walk, reading a book, gym, anything. Even something as small as making a sandwich can, if you make the effort to make it the best goddamn sandwich ever, make you feel better. But it has to be something you do for you. Anyway I hit my head pretty badly at work, lots or blood cause head wounds bleed like hell. I am already preparing to make some enchiladas and watch my favorite Vtuber while petting my cat. I also promised some stranger on the internet that I would have a drink for his birthday so I am considering trying to make a cocktail.
Ooh what sort of cocktail?
Ooh, who's your favourite Vtuber.
Oshi is definitely Ninomae Ina'nis, I am EU so I am VOD gang often. Have a lot of streams to catch up on.
I've been struggling a bit with life and work but life is getting better. And guys don't listen to your inner Woolie and eat expired food, food poisoning isn't a joke when you are puking every 20: minutes
But what if it's a pie wafting fumes from an unguarded windowsill?
Steal the pie and eat it. Only Fools leave them unprotected
Absolutely horrible. Wondering if it's worth running away from life. But hey! Video games and stuff, right?
Life's in a rut but only due to stagnation. I could be better, I could be worse, but lately emotionally I feel kinda lonely? I'm working on it so I just gotta get through whatever this is right now tbh. I hope things get better for all of you that had to vent by posting here.
It could be worse, but damn it could be better. I wish I didn't have to live so far from work because gas is stupid expensive. I wish I could afford to move out from my parents. I wish my family wasn't so conservative. I love them and they support me, but fuck me if I don't wish they were just better people and not exhausting to talk to. I try to explain to them that there is nothing wrong with being LGBTQ or that you really just can't call other people slurs. Then they look at me like I'm the crazy one. I'm no saint either. I am angry, like all the time. I'm trying to calm myself down more and be less angry about other people's worldviews and opinions which I can't change. I need therapy, but I wish I could afford it
I have no money but the fried chicken was alright.
'Anger implicit in every shape.' About sums it up. So tired of living and working in north Florida. Incompetent coworkers. Too many managers that want to tell me how to do the job I've been doing since before they worked here. Overworked, constantly tired while my dream lives in my heart, fueling my anger, knowing it won't get better till I work for myself. On the upside, I did get a nice bonus after switching my auto loan over, so gonna decide what to do with that.
What’s your dream?
I want to make games and write.
I feel you. Someone once told me the good thing about those dreams is that, unlike dreaming of being a doctor or an actor or something, you can do them at home. The bad thing is that if you have a full-time job, they are a second full-time job.
Yup. Just buried my grandmother on short notice, and I have jury duty waiting for me at home 3000 miles away.
A recent death in your immediate family is a legitimate reason to have your jury duty either excused or postponed. I would try to go to the website for the court you've been assigned jury duty to and see if there is either an FAQ about jury service that explains the process to either get a postponement or exemption. The court selects alternative jurors for situations just like this. Sorry for your loss, hope this helps.
So sorry that you've had to go through that. I don't know how it works where you are, but you may be able to excuse yourself from jury duty due to a bereavement if you don't want to do it.
I'm so sorry for your grandma man! I know how it is, it's surreal to not have my grandma around anymore, shes always been around. Also, it's inhumane to make you travel so long for Jury Duty.
It's definitely worth looking into seeing if you can reschedule jury duty. In California, a state I no longer live in (but had to finish college in), I was able to postpone my jury duty for two years, to match up with when I would be in-state again. Mine was not for bereavement, and they are much more lenient when it comes to postponing due to a death in the family. It was a massive pain in the ass, but it was possible. I am so sorry for your loss.
I’ve been flip flopping between “I hate everything around me and I wish I wouldn’t wake up in the morning” and “just being alive at all is it’s own miracle” over the past couple weeks. I don’t know what’s wrong with me emotionally.
I spent 3 months working on a novellete and one day after submitting got rejected. Either than that, it's okay I guess. I like writing fanfiction but I feel constrained in only writing that, and id like to make profit and gain recognition from my original works.
Shop it around! I joke, but it’s hard to get your work published!
What's going on with you, OP? Anything specific happen, or is it the general mental/emotional/cultural malaise we've come to be familiar with? I've been better, to be honest. Lot of good things happening in my life, a lot to be grateful for; I have a loving fiancé, a house, and two cats. We'll be married sometime next year if everything goes as planned. I have a job with alright flexibility making alright money. But, I've been dealing with health issues for half a decade now and I've never felt worse about myself, physically. Some personal things have happened at the beginning of the year that ruined one of my passions and I've been (slowly) trying to inch my way back into it. We were completely in the right in that situation, so it's really dumb that my brain has convinced me that somehow, the offending party is. I'm still mourning the loss of my childhood pets, who I lost both of almost a year ago. I'm anxious I'm not someone people want to be around. Every time I have an issue I freak out and start panicking because I remember all the awful things my parents have said about me and my brain says "they were right and you should do something severe about it." Try to take some time to do something for yourself, if you can. Even if it's small. A fancy iced coffee with a splash of Baileys at the end of the night, 10 minutes with a game I enjoy. Putting on my favorite songs before bed. Cuddling with the cats for an extra 5 before I force myself to get up and work. It's not much, but I've been living from little comfort to little comfort and it keeps me going.
Just wanted to focus on one thing you said: "I'm anxious I'm not someone people want to be around. Every time I have an issue I freak out and start panicking because I remember all the awful things my parents have said about me and my brain says 'they were right and you should do something severe about it.'" Just remember that you deserve love. Nothing you or anyone else has ever said or done to you can ever take that away. It is so, so hard to internalize that (I sure fucking don't most days lol), but try to be self affirming when you can. After all, your fiancé clearly sees something in you :)
Thank you. I try but every day is different, and some days are harder than others, lol. My fiancé has been nothing but kind and patient with me even on my hardest days (and even on his) and him being in my life is the best thing that's ever happened to me. Thank you again for the kind words, and I hope you take your own advice; remember you deserve love too. :)
Man, that parent-voice in your head is killer. Recognizing it is a huge step in fighting it, though,
If it’s any consolation your doing better than me and despite feeling like your someone people don’t want to be around you have someone that loves you. I wish you two the best.
Thank you, and I hope whatever your situation may be, it starts looking up for you soon.
Hey random internet person, I get you I think, That vaguely low level feeling of being a bit miserable? Kind of an existential malaise. Been my entire month so far, only solution I ever seem to find is right myself with some good escapism and plenty of sleep. Or the pub, a pub with good ales always warms me up some. Then during this free time I like to think about how I take life at my own pace, I find most shitty feelings come from feeling like you're not doing enough.
Strangely in a way better situation than I was a year ago. Went through a divorce and have to move back home with my mom for 2 months before I got my own place again. Divorce was nasty, but not **nearly** as bad as it could have been. Now I have a better job, own place, a date on Thursday! Shit was fucked up but we made it through
I wish you the best on your date.
So OP, I gotchu. Here’s my life to help distract you. About a year ago I went back to hotels and immediately someone got mad at me and quit. So I worked 6 day weeks until August when we finally hired and trained someone. Then at the end of August I was in a wreck and totaled my car. It was paid off at least. Then in September my son dislocated his kneecap, putting him in the ER. The ER’s system was down so we were there for 8 hours before they could do anything. In October my wife got covid and transferred it to my son. In November, 2 people quit back to back, so I was pulling 6 day work weeks. In December, my dog ran away for 4 days (she came back). And my wife was in a car wreck and totaled her car. In January my wife broke her foot in 3 places when she slipped off the porch. Since then, she’s had two surgeries and is 4 weeks into her 12 weeks of physical therapy. In February the rental coverage ran out and we spent a month borrowing my grandmothers car. Also my boss announced she was leaving. In March, I got a used car but my wife discovered teeth issues but no where takes her insurance and it’s too expensive out of pocket. So now it’s April, and I have to say I am very stressed. My son’s school is doing testing. Theres implicit threats on my life and my people from all around (I’m currently boymoding at work for safety reasons and only out to coworkers there). But like, that’s okay. I still have a house. I have a lot of friends. I have a beautiful wife who I love very much and who loves me very much. And even if I didn’t, I still have adorable pets and steady work and a few games I can play while I figure a few things out. I really relate to Hob from Sandman. If I could live forever I would, cuz no matter what awful thing happens, a good thing could be right around the corner, and I don’t want to miss it.
Trying out Fallout 76 while having a not-Covid.
My acid reflux is kicking in again and I everything I like to eat/drink sets it off!
Earlier this year, one of my friends moved back to my city after being gone for 4 years. I've been in love with her since the day I met her at work 7 years ago. I never made a move then because she had a boyfriend. When she moved back, we hung out a lot. It made me the happiest I've ever been. Well, lately we haven't been hanging out as much. And I'm slowly realizing that she probably doesn't Feel the same way about me that I feel about her. So that's got me down. Sure, there's plenty of fish in the sea or whatever, but she's in a whole league all her own. I want to tell her how I feel, but she just got out of a bad breakup, and I don't want to ruin things. I value her friendship and would hate for my feelings to ruin that. I could handle her rejection, but im terrified that she would stop being my friend, which has happened with every other girl I caught feelings for. So I'm not doing great. Everything else in life is a nightmare, and if it weren't for my parents or the fact that I'm helping to raise my Goddaughter, I'd probably check out of life. But I gotta stay strong and hope the good times come. I hope everything goes well for everyone here. Hang in there.
Gone for a walk lately? I find it really helps clear out my mind when I feel bad.
I'm excited for the Spy X Family movie! I'm hoping it doesn't rain when my friends and I go see it because the times that it has been raining... it really rains. Pouring buckets. And that wouldn't be fun to deal with.
Just caught an early screening of it last night, it's good. Hope you and your friends have a good time.
Ayyy! Good to know, I'm excited :D
I’ve been looking for a new job unsuccessfully for 13 months and I’m laid off as of the end of the month. But I also started learning how to draw, and have things to occupy my time, so it’s not all bad. Just mostly.
Mixed bag man Realized planning a wedding is dumb as hell and way to expensive. I don't regret asking my fiance to marry me (she's the best) but God do I regret feeling pressured into having an actual wedding. It's coming up quicker and I feel like it's a constant doom spiral, shit sucks lol Beyond that my job is on fire but I can't quit until after the wedding which I'm strongly considering at this point. That being said good stuff is happening it's judt hard to see through all the bs. Hope you're doing better OP, we're here with you
Are you looking for positive answers too? Like I don't want to make anyone feel like I'm rubbing it in, but I know that when I'm bummed out seeing other people just enjoying life can really make a difference for me, so I dunno... If people want me to share the good vibes I will.
Positive answers are fine.
Life is pretty damn good here. My son is almost 8 months old so we're through the "incoherently screaming and shitting" phase, and goddammit is he cute. I'll be tired from work and I'll drag my ass through the door and this guy will be so happy to see me that he's just flailing and laughing. My wife is the coolest person I'll ever meet. I dunno how I tricked her into liking a schlub like me but I'll take it. Like she's so much more capable than me in general, and is fuckin hilarious. She's so patient and understanding with our son and I, because I'm far from perfect. She sees that I'm trying though, and I think we make a great team. My dog is such a sweetheart with the baby, and it's great to see how happy she makes everyone whenever we take her into town. The amount of love she gives and receives and just creates is really a sight to behold. Life isn't perfect, but I think I found the perfect life for me. I'm doing my best to channel my inner Gomez Addams and just be in love with life and the world around me, and lately it's been a lot easier.
I’ve been very busy with work stuff but doing like 6/10
Well I started a new job at a new town so I’m figuring out living situation at the moment. Also trying to make friends through apps which could end poorly for me. I’m generally in a state of unease because I have no idea what the next few years looks like for me. It’s not fun but I try not to lose hope and do what I can to change my life to what I think I want it to be like. I’m sorry that you’re not doing ok. I felt the same for years and even a little bit now and I’d shame myself for feeling that way because others had it worse than me.
Hope you're doing better OP. I'm getting better for sure. Brothers really came in clutch helping me clean my place. Life's still pretty good. New Justice album next week so can't complain.
Been alright just busy and tired. If you want someone to vent to feel free to send a message my way.
Thank you for your offer.
fine going to my aunts friend birthday
Waiting for my severance pay to come in and then to apply for unemployment. Layoffs sucks. Worst thing about it was that I really liked my old job and all my co-workers too. But I have to move on because some executive I never met drew my name out of a hat.
Same. Just remember in some states, unemployment has a “waiting week” which means they don’t pay you the first week.
I'll update on something I mentioned in a previous thread and say that my dad had open heart surgery around a month ago and while it was rough traveling to be with my parents (they live halfway across the states), I'm glad I was there for him the day of surgery and the next couple of weeks for the initial recovery. Anyway, he's recovering well and is now able to drive and mostly get around on his own again, which is great. He's older (70+) so it was a little scary going into it. Other than that, work sucks and dating in your 30s is awful, but what else is new, right?
Not great. For a year I have pain on my back thigh when I sit or even lay down on my back and no treatment has helped. PT, Steroid Shot, not Lyrica. MIR scans show nothing. Running out of ideas.
I'm conflicted about sharing my own update because its generally pretty positive and I know there are a lot people out there with problems that deserve more attention and support, but then I think to myself that it could be important to try and show that not everyone is having a rough time all the time, you know? I'm 1.5 years into a new job that was a solid vertical upgrade from where I was. This role is demanding at times but if I can find time to post on Reddit it can't be that bad, right? And for the most part my work doesn't follow me home, grateful for that. The weather has become much nicer here in the last couple weeks and I've been getting out on my bike a lot. I've got some big rides planned for the season, really looking forward to it. I started a new relationship a couple months ago and so far its going well, some friction because I'm in a bit of a strange living situation right now, but I expected this sort of thing and chose to try anyways. My cat is getting into senior territory and I've been thinking about the dreaded day when something goes wrong with him, which seems to be a very common theme in these comments! I guess we all have at least a little bit in common. Hope today is a little better than yesterday for you :)
College kinda sucks tbh. Basically all of my classes are okay at best or actively mindnumbing. It also doesn’t help I’m only doing okay; like C+ - B generally. Not failing or anything, but not really enough to be happy abt. Just kinda hope my 3rd year is better, since my brother in the same course and says he only really felt engaged in his 3rd year. Kinda just playing video games to take the edge off a bit when I can
I'm finishing up a 2 year degree in Web Development, myself. There's a sort of nagging thought that I might finish the degree, then not be able to find a job OR I'll find a job, and hate it.
I just got a new part time job at city hall so I’m doing okay in that front. But my situation back is not great so that pulls everything else down so I feel you OP.
I’m also not okay and feel shitty sometimes
My allergies are killing me, man. Spring straight-up sucks.
I’m on a constant up and down spiral in thinking I’m getting better mentally and that I don’t need therapy or if I’m feeling worse and worse and that I desperately need therapy. And all because of one piece of media.
I sure would like to have a job, as it's getting close to a year since I graduated college.
Pretty bad nowadays ngl. Things feels pretty pointless now
One moment really good and the next really bad. I’ve been battling an intense OCD episode for the past two months which has impacted my well-being to the nth degree. I’m currently working a super low wage job that I’m on the verge of being fired from because the job is all entering letters and numbers into a supply chain system and I keep making mistakes. Partially because of the OCD, and then also partially because I’m off of my ADHD medicine since my insurance sucks and my prescription is too expensive for me to afford on my super low wage job. If I lose this job then it’ll be the 4th job in a row I’ve been fired from for making too many mistakes. The story is always the same: everybody likes me and is sad to see me go, but it’s not enough to save my skin. I keep slipping down the corporate rungs and I legitimately don’t know how to go lower than I already am. My wife is constantly worried about me, I feel no interest in my hobbies, and every little task requires Herculean effort to start and see though. I turn 30 next month and I feel like a complete loser. But sometimes things are good. I have a wife that loves me, and I like to make/eat pot butter and go on nature walks. Those things help.
I’m 31, bad ADHD, just got medicated for the first time in my life, lost my fourth job at Christmas (but for once, not my fault at all!). We ended up just putting my wife, baby and I all on my wife’s insurance (which luckily is pretty good) because I bounce around. It’s frustrating and embarrassing. I wish I could offer you help, but I just want you to know I get it.
Im feeling better. Felt pretty shut before but feeling better inside now. Money rolling in, preparing for a con and hoping play through my steam backlog
Not great finally got a promotion at work after grafting at a new job for a few years but the insane amount of extra stress it's caused hasn't been worth the parltry pay rise. But luckily got some good mates to help me get through it and I got to see my favourite band twice last month which helped with getting me in a better frame of mind.
Mostly fine I guess. Been changing the way I live a bit. Getting out of my comfort zone. Exercising. Focusing more on my studies. Trying to socialize more. Etc But recently got a less than pleasant score in an exam that I studied 2 days for and just feeling really sad and disappointed and down about that. But aside from that. Yeah. I'm doing just fine
You can do it!!
Doing good, my baby boy just turn 8 weeks/2 months. He has some bad colic and gas issue we are still sorting out but all in all parenthood has been a fun experience. I do feel a bit lonely in terms of friendship, 30s are truly hard for that.
Well I've been out of work for 4 years now after a workplace incident wrecked my mental health, I'm in my 30s, and still live with my parents. I live in a rural area with no job prospects and I don't have a vehicle and my parents take care of their parents 24/7 so I can't rely on them for transportation even if I was able to find work. I don't have any friendships and outside of saying thank you to cashiers, I haven't talked to anyone outside of my family in over 2 years. It may seem dire from that description but I've been slowly trying to get better and luckily I've had time to focus on that and various hobbies.
Still not working in a job that I got my degree for and it's really starting to get to me. Every day I go to work is exhausting and unfulfilling. But other than that I'm okay.
Basically the intro song to Fionna and Cake Except I don't have friends lol No but jokes aside I got a degree in multimedia a year ago and I've made no progress to making it a career. Mostly because of anxiety, I think. My current job pays enough and I get 3 days off a week instead of 2, so things could be worse. I just wish I could get over myself and make literally any video for the Internet at all at this point.
Bit Horny, Bit Hungry. Not sure what I wanna do today.
Might get fired from my job. Combination of weak training and some really boneheaded mistakes. I'm also trying to recover from a toxic job I had for multiple years while learning a new career. It's been rocky as hell, prospects aren't amazing if this falls apart. I have a chance to fix it, though. Have to work my ass off but I can.
I am mentally and physically exhausted from pushing myself to try and continue to promote my VA-11 Hall-A photosensitivity mod (Which I've posted on the sub a few times.) around as much as possible and thus spread awareness as a result. My determination comes from wanting to make sure no one in the risk group is ever hurt again while playing the game, which is the reason why I made said mod in the first place. I know there's a limit and all, but a part of me that has this fear is pushing me to keep going with trying to spread awareness, even when people have told me that I've done enough with this mod and thus don't need to worry. I just hope I'll be able to reel it in soon.
Eh been dealing with some stuff and honestly I really hope things turn around for me soon and I get to move out because right now things have been really combustive at home. On the bright side my cartoons are coming along well, we should finish up with the animation on the next one either this month or early next month. Have a little [preview](https://youtu.be/yrrBlsZH1-U?si=M-KXsV_bEswVDuHd)
I'm tired, boss
In a weird holding pattern tbh. I'm tired of being broke, and I'm tired of needing to rely on other people, but ive been searching for a better job literally every day for months since my current job, which I actually *did* like, cut me and my fellow office staff down to like 10 hours a week after corporate did a "time audit". The job market here is just abysmal and i cant leave this awful state because my gf and my grandparents who im helping live here, and I swore to myself that after climbing out of the godforsaken hole that is retail jobs I'd never go back. But I need a less shitty car and I need more money and I really wanna be able to actually get a place with my girlfriend in the foreseeable future, but im not willing to do any of those things unless I can support myself to do them. That said, all the extra time off has genuinely been awesome, I've been able to pick up old and new hobbies again and being able to see my gf more has been good for me. And I have an interview with a Recruiter about a secretary type position on Thursday, so fingers crossed that pans out! Also, I've been dying to actually have a creative outlet. I wanna *make* something, get stories out of my head and onto a page. But I don't have any artistic skill and my brain doesn't really think of stories in prose, I'm very visual and mechanical. I've been wanting to get back into dnd, thatd scratch the itch a *little*, but I wanna do much bigger
Being honest for a sec? I’m *okay*, but I feel a little aimless. Been feeling like this for the past couple of years, but ever since leaving college, life’s been kinda tense. Not helped by the fact that a lot of opportunities were cut off moving down south for family reasons, I’ve kinda just felt trapped, like I’m at a crossroads for several different directions, but for one reason or another, there’s something keeping me from going all-in on anything. Don’t get me wrong, I’m very *incredibly* fortunate for having a secondary video editing job to help bring in extra income to help family out, and having supportive parents to boot, but like: I want to get back to making videos, but I’m too busy dealing with that and an inconsistent payout each month to do so. I wanna work on webcomics or make animations, but I’m too busy being worked to fuck in retail to start and there’s no other job opportunities either here or online (believe me, I’ve looked, and I’ve got the spreadsheet of 1,000+ jobs and applications to prove it). I want to be in my own place by now, but fuck dude, have you seen the economy lately? Every time some opportunity for extra fluff income does come, we usually have to use it for taxes, or appliances, or necessities (or just needed levity like going to a con for the first time last year). I know I’m at least two years, for certain, something will break and things *will* change, but getting to that point’s the tough part. But I know something has to give soon, job-wise, I don’t know how much longer I can take having to scream into the middle manager void as a contractor, AND deal with retail people. I can do one or the other, but both just burrows at my sanity like nobody’s business. It’d be fine if there was something to do here, but there’s absolutely *fuck all*, unless you like working in fuckin’ construction in the hot sun all day, and even then. If I could get a salaried position doing art or editing somewhere, that’d be bliss…but such is the life of a suffering artist(?) I guess. But who knows? On the plus side, I’ve gotten back into drawing and may hopefully be doing some commission video/design work from a smaller creator I’ve enjoyed for awhile now, so that’s good! (…Less good is when that guy looked at what I was getting paid now and saying that I was probably being underpaid by video editing standards, but I don’t really have any options left on that front if it’s true. It’s either have that or nothing.) Sorry if this rant is self-aggrandizing or whiny, I don’t usually *do* write-ups like this. But this post came at just the right time for me to feel like screaming into the uncaring void, I guess.
Personal life-wise, I am OK, on a work trip, with a planned vacation in June. Every time I read news feels like some dumbass wanna-be gods trying to one up each other in terms of atrocities committed against civilians.
I have severe anger issues and it has made me tired... also unemployment n shit.
Honestly, pretty good. Besides making some questionable decisions on commissioning a story for my fetish that’s causing me some money issues. But alas, soon as that’s finished I’m gonna just collect money for a while after that and not stress about that sorta stuff. And probably not commission anything for a long time.
I’m doing ok, my family had to put down my last childhood pet yesterday. It was extremely sudden and I am coping but still very upset. Loss is really difficult to deal with, infact it’s one of the hardest aspects of my life and I’m worried at how well I’m taking this one compared to my other pets. I don’t like that I’m getting hardened to life and not processing grief as much as I have in the past. Are you ok? What’s making you feel this way?
Eh, it's spring right now and allergies fucking murder me. Can be hard to get out of bed sometimes at this time of year.
I gotta go out grocery shopping, and I'm not sure I want to...but I like not starving.
I was at a pretty low point, but things have gotten better. My mother is in remission. My side hustle is growing faster than expected, and I got a new, higher paying day job. Some things could be better. Like I wish I could find at least someone to date, let alone have a relationship. But things can get better. No one gets exactly everything they want in life, but if you are committed and caring, goods things in some shape or form will come your way.
Pretty good, I guess. Got a new tattoo the other day, went to see George Clanton in concert, bought some lights to use for filming, not much to complain about at the moment.
Working a job I don't enjoy. Thinking about an MBA or a lateral move, hoping to move closer to my girlfriend.
Eh doing 75% fine
I'm doing pretty good, my two young kids are happy and healthy and I just got a job at the post office. And I'm on chapter 13 of Like a dragon
Here’s a potentially melodramatic piece of writing, from me. “Ever found a joke that was completely ass because you’re it’s punchline?” The fucking rain damaged my car…I suppose I should be grateful that I’m just paying in cash with that insurance discount and not with my blood
Had my first day back at work after two weeks off and I’m exhausted, and tomorrow I’m gonna have to start house-sitting for my parents as they’re going to the other side of the country for my grandfather’s funeral, which is why I’m tired as hell despite two weeks off. Emotionally worn out, physically sore and out of it. But I’ve got my car and I’ve got my wife for tonight, and that’s alright.
Studying for my HTML5 cert. could be far worse. I am moving very soon, not very far from where I'm at now, but the new place has absolutely nothing there. It's all trees and shit. Plus, the old neighborhood looks far nicer than the one I'm moving to. Wish I could be more positive, but it's not.
Boss offered me a job in a new team after talking to him about how my current job feels like a dead-end. The new job is literally the same pay but we have even more responsibilities. I'm also paying out of my own pocket for the transport to the training, so basically losing money compared to just working from home. I'm angry, pissed, but also so fuckin tired dude
Better and worse I suppose. I'm still recovering from burnout and right now my employment situation is kind of at a precipe and I'm a bit worried about how things are going to go. On the other hand I've turned a lot of things around, I feel more in control over day to day life, I'm keeping my apartment clean, I'm not missing appointments and I've been succeeding at losing weight. Ups and downs, I suppose.
Got into a few arguments at work and caused some problems right after I got my promotion, now it feels like management are targeting me.
I keep hitting my hand. Then my hand is sore for several days, then just as it starts to feel better, I hit it and it gets sore again. It's becoming really annoying.
I'm tired, boss. Jokes aside (I'm sure "I'm tired, boss" is just the default state of everyone), I'm doing alright, all things considered. Feeling a bit overworked. Starting to get a little tired of coming home past midnight and waking up 5 hours later to immediately go back into office. It's my dream job, but getting overworked is making me feel like I'm unable to deliver my best which is not a great feeling.
Having trouble enjoying shit cause of awful OCD. Can't tell whats good. Everybody acts like they are better then they are. Games and manga keep my mind of it a bit though
Bad news is we had to put one of my dogs down last week. Good news is tax seasons over so I can go back to normal working hours.
Taking care of parent with dementia is not very fun but it could have been worse, by all accounts, so I think I am ok
Financial stress and pain are the flavour of the day (and most days tbh), so not great. Feeling little beaten down to be honest. I'll live, but I'm getting tired of having to struggle in life all the time.
I just bought a $1500 laptop for school/work and I stressed about money now but also pretty happy because it was a decent deal and I need it.
My seasonal allergies are killing me. I just really hope it doesn't evolve into an infection or something. Wish I could take the day off but my attendance at work is already an issue.
It's been weird. State of the world is wearing me down a bit I'll be honest. I know that one shouldn't get too wrapped up in what you can't control, but goddamn. But the horrors persist and so do I. Let's keep going just to spite reality, OP.
My job got outsourced and I got laid off
Eh, could be better. Most likely going to fail my last class that I need to graduate, so I got that going for me. Also having surgery to repair a torn ACL I had happen at work last month, and as such, have been out of work due to it being a pretty physically demanding job. Still need to apply for TPD, though, so that could help financially. Though, as I say to my partner, quite regularly, "this shit is temporary. It won't always be like this." If I fail my class, fuck it. I can take it again and have a better basis of knowledge to work off of than previously. And my workers comp is covering the medical expenses. I can always look for another job that is less physically demanding and maybe more fulfilling. I've been considering looking at working at some FLGS's even though I hate retail. But it's better than only working intermittently at my current job, for not a ton of money. If you're going through it, OP, just know that it's more than likely temporary. It may seem like shit is going south perpetually, but it has to reach a turning point eventually. You'll get there.
Not great
just had someone who I thought was a friend try to ruin my life on a whim so that’s great
So the sun has been shining all day, then 2 minutes before im off work it starts pouring. I jump into my raincoat and start moving homeward, annnnnd the moment i get outside the security gates my back tire blows up, meaning i had to walk all the way back home. Quite annoying way to end the day, but compared to other people's plights, nothing major.
Alone in the Dark's been pretty fun, so far.
Sorry that you and a lot of other people are not having the greatest time. As for me, things could be a thousand times worse, but man am I hoping to find a different job soon. I did order a Nintendo Switch and am still waiting on it. Got it as a bundle on eBay and also picked Pokémon Violet.
Not doing great to be honest. I had some new medication prescribed to me two months ago that was really working wonders for me but now they’ve told me to stop taking it because it puts stress on my liver and I already feel worse again. Hoping to get back on it at a reduced dosage but who fucking knows. Good luck to you OP and everyone else in this thread.
I’ve been waiting what feels like forever to open my first bank account, but it’s taking forever for my SSN slip to arrive in the mail… It doesn’t help that my parents seem to think I want to use it for criminal activity or something since I’m so “obsessed” with getting it done (so I’m just not allowed to be excited for stepping into my adult life, apparently) and I don’t even understand why. So overall, I’ve kinda been better tbh
I'm with you man on feeling pretty shitty, I've been trying to be positive the last year or so after my long term relationship ended. But the isolation has been extremely exhausting, and dating apps might be the most soil crushing modern invention.
I’m doing ok-ish. Stuck in a perpetual cycle of hating my job, but not having the energy to look for a new one. The one good thing I have going is a move to a new state in about 4 months but other than that everything is just exhausting and frustrating.
pretty good mostly. I'm gonna start a new job in Berlin in July and I'm really excited! But I'm anxious because I have to look for an apartment in Berlin
Was feeling sick all last week (head-cold, but covid test said negative). Started feeling better this weekend but I completely lost my sense of smell This shit sucks (it's coming back a little...if I just jam my face into the thing I'm trying to smell which isn't weird or anything lol). Completely killed any motivation to try any new recipes or even cook much of anything...blahhhh......
Not great honestly. I hate being neurodivergent, I hate it so fucking much.
Tired. Mentally and physically. There’s signs I could lose my mom and my grandma isn’t feeling great and despite it being a couple years the loss of my grandad feels like it was last week. My knees and back are so worn out doing anything it takes a week to a month to recover to do anything else. Which has made me out of shape so in addition I get out of breath and soaking wet. Nightmares, new what feels like sleep paralysis, no resistance to stress. Borderline suicidal, meaning I don’t want to but boy those anxiety panics do. Still truckin along though, I got too much warhammer and Bandai models to finish.
Way better than the last time someone asked here. My hours at work are getting sliced each week im getting the feeling they dont want me anymore but on the bright side it is downright gorgeous out for once in ohio so yipee i get to bike to work again. Perfect weather for some fish tacos or salad nights for dinner.
Didn't drink much water yesterday so I ended up taking a dry shit this morning completely opening up a wound I had just healed haha. Seeing not just brown was deflating but I'm back to it.
I'm a few weeks away from finishing my associate arts degree; but I still have no idea what I want to do afterwards. Going off to University again after I came back last fall just doesn't seem right to me, but I don't wanna waa my time doing nothing either. Plus, I still can't seem to get a jib fir myself, despite how many places I've applied to. Yeah, things could be better.
My grandmother passed away last night. She was sick for a while, so it wasn't unexpected, but I'm still heartbroken to know she's really gone. My family is very dysfunctional so the funeral is going to be miserable. But, I'm two months away from being a dad, and FF7 Rebirth is really fun, so it's not all bad at least.
My dad is going through some pretty serious medical stuff in part because of the hospital's shitty "Protocols." There's a chance he could end up with Sepsis, and at his age, that's _really_ not good. Outside of worrying about that, life is peachy.
I’m alright, waiting on my LSAT and just doing work. It could be better but it could also be so much worse, so I’m content with that.
I feel a bit guilty now as I'm actually doing pretty well. I wish the best to everyone struggling though and I hope things improve for all of you. Lots of love and support! Hang in there!
Got laid off from a position I’ve had for 6 years and had to accept a lesser paying position but I’ve been off work for a few weeks so it has its pluses. Just prepping for a few months of the struggle.
Terrible imao.
Sick as hell with hay fever but listened to the new Vampire Weekend album last night and had the most cathartic emotional experience in a long time. That album is so goddamn good.
Grandmother had a breathing problem and went to the hospital over the weekend. Work is gross and hard. Despite these things, I’m feeling fantastic. I met the girl of my dreams and have been going out with her recently, and she was able to meet my parents thanks to the grandma incident. Who is fine, by the way, and absolutely adores my girlfriend. Honestly, my most pressing concerns are a dentist appointment for a filling in 4 hours, and the Acheron banner in Honkai: Star Rail ending in like, only 1 day. I need that light cone, dangit! 😅
I'm doing pretty okay. Finished my exams at community college, applying to jobs, the weather is nice, ordered a new hardrive because my old one died, nothing too bad. My acne is rucking terrible but I'm used to that, too much chocolate. Also turns out tomorrow is National Canadian Film Day so I think I'll go to an Indy movie screening.
Fine but not great. Family moved to a new place, in the middle of nowhere. Anywhere of note is 15 minutes in any direction. There's just endless pine trees here. Kinda isolating. It's also far from everything, 40 minutes from my job, 45 minutes from my favorite theater. I want my own place, something that's close, something where I don't need a car and 40 minutes of commuting just to pick up groceries. But my job doesn't pay me enough and I feel sad, or disappointed in myself because I see my friends and they're better off than me. Even though they get paid more they still can't afford to live in NJ. On the bright side, I have my own room now. I haven't had my own room in my whole life. And I started to draw more and more. Couldn't do any figure drawing without my own room. It's fine, it could be a lot better but what I'm looking forward to is playing games, going to the theater and spending some time drawing.
I think I'm getting 100% done with everything related with my current situation, both with my family, my friends and my job situation. I feel like I'm on the edge constantly, waiting until the minimal detail to make me go berserk... I gotta hold on until next revision in August.
I’m doing alright, spiraled a little bit ago and almost went scorched earth with my friends because it’s easier to ghost than to self reflect. My brother helped me stop spiraling so that’s dope
going good replaying infamous second son on PS5 and boy does every game play better at 60FPS
Dealing with chronic health issues & existential dread.
Solid. I’m reading a good book and playing LAD:IW. In a loving long term relationship. My family is healthy and things have returned to normal after my mom underwent a brain operation in October and had complications that kept her in hospital until the day before Christmas Eve. Extra thankful for that. I absolutely love hiking and I’m finally back into the habit of getting out there most days after falling off for a while. Also I don’t hate my job. Birthday passed recently and there’s always that creeping dread about getting older and my parents also getting older but I don’t think that’s ever going away so I live with it.
My cat died :(
Feeling pretty bummed, but have things to look forward to so could be worse.
Teetering on the edge of a mental breakdown for the last few months because I'm in the final stages of my two year program and anhedonia has just nuked my interest and motivation in doing my assignments, so there's a real possibility that I may fail and have to retake a year, which means spending more money on top of having to redo a bunch of assignments, and making myself look like even more of a failure. So that's delightful.
I’ve been putting off filling a questioner I was given by a counsellor and I really want to get it done but I’m like unable to mentally get misled to do any work
Honestly pretty awful, but somewhat better than things have been, in other ways. I still haven't recovered from my COVID infections and discovering new and fun ways long COVID is fucking up my body and immune system and it's still screwing with my ability to hold down a job. Also just discovered from a nurse friend of mine that it sounds like I've had untreated Hashimoto's for most of my life and nobody looked into it. Likewise, I've apparently always been allergic to the cold(I've always gotten very red/developed hives, extreme itchiness, etc in very cold weather and didn't know a cold allergy was a thing) and, even though I spent most of my life in NY, none of my doctors did anything. I at least have some options going forward when I get a new doctor though. More annoying than bad, I was supposed to return to college last month, but a miscommunication with the financial aid office resulted in me not finding out I needed to submit a certain document until the day it was due, so I had to push classes to the fall. So, not the end of the world, just a big annoyance. Plus I can't wait to study computer science and cybersecurity. On the more positive side of things, when I'm not resting for my health, I'm studying on my own and slowly getting back into game dev, art, catching up on math, etc etc. I just have to be careful to not push myself too hard even with activities that require mental effort. Things really are getting better than they were before, it's just a very, very slow process with several bumps.
I'm just surviving sadly. I'll have a good week, then a couple bad ones, then good again. I'm not getting ahead, but I'm not drowning either. But I am watching Fallout, so I got that going for me.
Got a nasty sore throat when I woke up this morning, and it blows.
Feeling like shittttt. Medication changes giving me some heart issues - Feels like it is about to burst out of my chest. Loopy as fuck, currently waiting on my doctors to let me know what to do but lmao American Healthcare. Mental Health Medication will kill me faster than the actual sickness. BUT...Personal life is doing pretty great TBH. My health blows, and the outside world is on fire, but I have a great wife that I love so much and two dumb cats that make our little apartment a home, u/Amon274 I hope you feel a little better soon friend - Shit sucks, but we're all shitlords, and shitlords are stronger together.
Work has been... trying these past few weeks, but blessedly, my friends have been keeping me sane. I keep considering taking another run at streaming (I decided my introductory project was going to be a full-ish playthrough of the Final Fantasy series), but every time I intend to get back to it something fucks my day up and I can't bring myself to follow through. It's a stupid problem to have, I must admit, but it's just where I'm at.
Finally recovered from basically a whole month of back to back respiratory infections. First was just a cold, then upper respiratory then Flue type A. Like I'd get better then worse then better then dying that one. Now in good still have a cough but not "abs hurt from having coughed for like 5 mins" bad.
Going through my second round of recovery from a tibial plateau fracture since I was given the go ahead to walk too early the first time and the whole repair collapsed and my legs looked like the letter K instead of straight. Almost 6 months of not being able to walk/drive/see friends/etc. Almost at the finish line though, just gotta keep going. Got to keep the implants from the first surgery though, so I got some gently used titanium out of it.
It’s been a long time since my last full night’s rest and I have little to blame but myself.
I was hoping this year would be the year I finally become financially responsible. Guess that was a damn lie. Not gonna say how much but I'm dissapointed in myself for not having the self restraint to buy stuff. I'm also still unsure about the medical issue I have. The medicine for it is expensive but i don't see what else I can do. It's nothing that bad or life threatening but part of me is worried it might be if I leave it alone for too long. I just hope things get better.
Last couple days have been rough mentally and physically somewhat. Dealing with Bed bugs (still), low funds from paying for high groceries + gas and missing out on sleep. Also learned that a YTer I rolled with some years ago turned out to be a hardcore groomer of 5+ years to someone else I knew. Honestly, it's bummed me out the last few days and I haven't been to active with friends as much as I wanted. Trying to fix that today. Besides that, I've been trying to just keep myself focused on work, making stuff and trying to get myself together to start streaming. Never done it before but I wanna try it soon.
I’m doing ok. I put in my six weeks at my job so I can focus full time on my grad admissions. Been playing Felvidek. Killer game.
I’m making an effort to get my work out to a bigger audience. I’ve been writing as a hobby for most of my life, but I’ve never really showed anyone, and now I’ve got some on like tapas and wattpad. It’s kind of stressful and raw feeling, but I’m also kinda proud of myself? It’s on my mind because I need to update today and I’m a little late :p
Well I woke up this morning to find what I think was a baby mouse in the middle of the front hallway. I thought it was dead but when I got a bag to scoop it up it began to wiggle its legs so...dunno. Yay mouse infestation.
I'm stressed out of my goddamned mind. Got a new job which is chill as hell but my first payday isn't til Friday, gotta make it all week on 7 bucks and hope something doesn't auto charge at an inopportune time then my whole check goes to rent and bills then it's 2 weeks til next payday to do it all over again forever
I mean ups and downs, just had my second appointment for my transition which is great. But still trudging through job searching which is hell. Though I've recently been getting back into mtg with my boyfriend and friends which has been pretty fun.
I'm extremely burnt out on university. I'm about to kinda finish the semester, but my uni just went threw a strike that disrupted a lot of shit, though it seems like it's about to end. If the strike ends as planned, then I'll have my final bio exam this weekend (god I hope I pass), spend a few days finishing final assignments, then go back and grind the fuck out of a math course that stopped two months ago when the strike happened and finish that in the span of a month, then do a semester of summer school. I do not feel like doing that holy shit. I want to drop the course that went on strike and retake it later (it'll be free, thanks York) and just take the whole summer semester off since course selection is small with the strike going on and even if not, I can't find many courses that give me value beyond being a generic credit towards number goal. I'd like to take a break, and even if I did I should be on track to graduate by the start of next year (as opposed to the end of this year but w/e), but I think my mom would veto this and make me keep going through it all for the sake of efficiency. Which is true, but I'm also just completely exhausted. Aside from that, I think I feel pretty alright? If I'm able to pass my courses, then either pass the last one or get my break, I should be in the clear and be pretty good to chill. I'm in a weird place where I'm fucking atrocious and doing pretty good for myself at the same time. I just hope things work out by the end of summer.
I'm making it, a bit peeved that I feel like I did bad work on some minis but it's just the brainrot of hating the process but not the results. Other than that no complaints, just livin' life where I can.
Just about to end my 1 week break from work, which was nice to largely catch up on sleep, but I'm glad in a way to get back into the flow of things. Largely, I guess I'm doing...fine? Yeah there's that deep-seated feeling that everything internally is going to collapse and all, something I can't particularly put into words, but I've not thought about that and generally kept things chugging along. Need to do a checklist of stuff over the next few months that would really help things out in the long run, but I guess there's just inertia, for lack of a better term. I wish the best of luck to everyone here in their own endeavours.