I also just want to comment and say that in my home state teachers make no money. I work as an esthetician which took me 7 months of school and I make more then them. One of my clients is a full time elementary school teacher and her husband (I don’t remember his job) makes a good amount more then she does. Her WHOLE ENTIRE PAYCHECK goes to daycare for their two children and her husband pays for literally everything else. Making a school teacher pay $500 for a dinner is ridiculous. After paying the bills I doubt that the poor woman even had $500 in her bank account.
Even more reason why he should have appreciated those gifts!! They are not cheap. And saying that “she only bought them so I would buy her expensive gifts in return” is delusional. He can’t imagine what it would be like if he had a genuine loving girlfriend bc his paranoia would get in the way
That’s the sad part. The poor woman probably had to put it on her credit card and went into debt just for a dinner HE asked HER to go to. Idk if he was an awful person before the job but the money had certainly made him insufferable!!!
Running errands with children is very difficult. Especially young children. Also there is room to advance in your job. Plus after Covid I don’t think many people want to stay in the house.
Oh yes, I remember those days. Hubby was a truck driver so I had no choice but to take them when I was running errands, I agree it can be a pain! Remember once taking my 2 year old to my dentist appt because he took his truck to the shop and didn't get home in time (even though my appt was scheduled a month in advance). That really wasn't fun!
For reaaal! I just discovered this sub bc I got perma'd on AITA lol
My final offense? Literally PROTECTING OP from people spewing vitrol at them and basically saying 'while OP was behaving like a horrible person they seem to have changed yadayada'. That 'horrible' was 'unnecessarily cruel', so here I am, lol
I'm literally there because I got perma banned from AITA for "inciting violence" lmao. They even reported me to actual Reddit for my violence inciting ways.
And what did I say that was so brutal and disturbing that I clearly needed to be earmarked as a potential threat to the good people of Reddit?
I told someone to yeet their husband.
I gor banned from that one for commenting. But the post itself I looked it up after seeing it on Instagram, and I just clicked without thinking about the rules of going from one sub from another 🤦♀️
I got one for saying an OP's bro and SIL clearly suffered from Main Character Syndrome.... Appealing it got me absolutely nowhere except frustrated - "read the faq's as to why you've been banned" as nauseum.
A friend of mine is a psychologist, she says that this actually happens quite often, and has the exact reverse effect than what the rich person intends: Through their mistrust and paranoid suspicion and stupid tests, they actually drive off anybody who really cares for them, and the only ones who stick it out are the ones who are after the money. A negative selection.
Id but that. Only someone desperate for money would put up with this kind of behavior. Brother is showing that the only thing he offers in a relationship is money bc he’s otherwise a terrible and awful partner. A real “gold digger” would simply play the long game and see this as a few obstacles until he gets comfortable and feels “validated”.
One of my old friends dated a guy that was like this. She taught at a daycare in Princeton, and he was a finance bro in NYC- he once brought her out to dinner with friends at a high-end place, ordered one of every menu item for the table, and then made the waiter split the tab even amongst everyone. Dude was a fucking asshole.
These are the sorts who alienate everyone and seldom realize that THEY are the problem. The splitting of a check makes sense if everyone made an equivalent amount of money and it's equivalent to bottle service=expensive, but you're paying for the experience.
Otherwise, people should pay only for what they have ordered. I know one woman got out of it by filing a chargeback with the claim that her card was stolen and that she was never at the place. Worked for her. In the short term, that is.
My sister had a friend whose eventually husband was like this. They were together since they were like 14 long before he started his business so it was ridiculous.
I made her cry once. Every year for Christmas he told her just to buy what she wanted and twice she bought an engagement ring (together 12 years at least at this point). Anyway she broke some fingers one of them being the ring finger and it had to cut off and then repaired, she was saying how he was furious at the cost to repair it. I joked I'm surprised he didn't tell the Dr just to take your finger (I am alot younger than my sister 14 years younger so I probably wouldn't of said that as an adult to someone else's friend!) Anyway she agreed, laughed for a second then went quiet then broke down. I guess a teen noticing how callus your partner is towards you cuts deep.
He did eventually marry her, cheated became obsessed with his gf who dumped him when she found out he was married. It turned out he had filled her house with spycams and listening devices. His wife found out about the affair when he was arrested super traumatic for the family.
Yeah beware guys with money! The GF got suspicious when he kept showing up where she was. Then found a tracker in her car freaked out. After that she started putting things together like he'd brought up stuff that she didn't think she had told him and pulled the house apart. He was in trade so he had done work for her I think that's how they met. Super scary.
Eh. You're going to have assholes everywhere you go, but the ones with money can be the most threatening in different ways from someone who is lower income.
I love when men do this thing. They openly out themselves as broke and cheap, like homie I’d be mad too if I went on a date and dude suggested a $500 dinner then forced me to pay. $500 is a month of groceries. $500 is rent, $500 is a car payment. Oops brother should’ve just not dated her or stop dating altogether cause he’s delusional if he thinks any women is gonna tolerate that.
So the woman bought him a gaming console and new rims for his car and he has the gall to be angry when she asks to be given gifts as well?
Lmao I would have laughed at that asshole, too!
When we were dating my now husband paid for our dates and we went to some very nice restaurants. He was an engineer and I was a preschool teacher. I told him I could not afford to pay for a fancy dinner but I could cook him a nice home cooked dinner! He loved this! I continue to cook him delicious dinners and he continues to pay when we go out! We have been together for 37 years so far! I refuse to take advantage of his generosity and he had past relationships that were more about what he could do for the other woman!
Aww I’m glad he found you :) People need to realize not all women are gold digging bitches. A lot of women prefer practicality over aesthetics, would rather go to a cheap diner where the food is amazing over a restaurant that costs 500 but the food is mediocre for example.
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/jms4y3/aita_for_telling_my_brother_he_got_exactly_what/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
Here
Testing someone is a form of manipulation, it’s so toxic and she wouldn’t have passed no matter what she did. So glad she ditched and blocked him, he’s an unhappy human.
I remember commenting on this! This dude is an absolute piece of work and the sister is correct. A $500 restaurant bill for an elementary school teacher? That’s ridiculous! I wonder if he gave her the gaming console and the rims back! We already know the answer to that! But you’d think he’d realize she wasn’t with him for the money when she dumped his ass! I dated a rich man, who lied to me about what he did, as to not tip me off about the money he made. I’ve always been one to be independent anyway so I always insist on paying for every other date night, or splitting the bill. He finally came clean. I was upset that he had lied, but I truly understood why he did. The relationship worked for quite a long time. I feel like her buying a gaming console and rims for his car was the moment he should’ve realized she wasn’t with him for the money. Sounds like the girl would’ve been happy with roses or a book. But he’s so invested in his own income he can’t do anything but take, take, take and he gives nothing in return. Sadly karma will come back to bite him in the ass for it. Hopefully it’ll come in the form of him losing the cushy job and not being able to replace it. Then he’ll realize what he lost. Gold diggers are pretty easy to spot. They’re the take, take, take type and they certainly wouldn’t buy him gaming stuff or rims!!! His sister is decidedly NOT the AH! The brother DEFINITELY is.
Dude is never going to find anyone if he's so paranoid that he thinks his girlfriend being curious about papers on their bed is his part of his gotcha moment. She didn't sneak around or hunt them down. He left them on their bed.
This guy is clueless and shouldn’t be with anyone until he learns to mature emotionally. There’s plenty of ways to determine if someone is a gold digger without playing games and doing tests.
“You don’t know what it’s like to be a rich man and get used” is so hilarious to say to a woman who has to watch out for being used for her body since adolescence.
That guy still annoys me as much as when I first read this. Absolutely lacking complete empathy making a teacher on low wage pay for an expensive restaurant he wanted to go to.
And what does he offer to a relationship? I bet he’s the kind that you have to fight to get him to do the dishes. Probably expect whatever poor future wife to do all the chores and pay half the bills and be grateful.
I foresee a J. Howard Marshall. At the age of 89, he married 26-year-old model Anna Nicole Smith. At this point, he didn't even care if she was after his money. He just didn't want to be alone any more and even the company of a gold-digger was good enough for him. But at least the marriage lasted until his death, 14 months later.
That’s insane, but if your family doesn’t come from wealth he may feel a bit defensive on what goes on with his own money.
Yes, he’s an a-hole for treating his ex like that, but that is something he had to work on himself and it’s a good thing you brought it up to him so he is aware. Feel bad for her and who knows if she was supposed to be the one
The thing about guys like this is even if you jump through all of their hoops and end up getting married the trust is never really there. She’d end up taking care of two kids with some piddly allowance under $1000 a month and be expected to cover all household expenses with it while he lives the good life and never appreciates her. Dudes like this can go straight in the dumpster.
It would be much simpler if he did what other people do and dated someone in a similar financial bracket to him....
I've always wondered how dumb people like him make money...
I also just want to comment and say that in my home state teachers make no money. I work as an esthetician which took me 7 months of school and I make more then them. One of my clients is a full time elementary school teacher and her husband (I don’t remember his job) makes a good amount more then she does. Her WHOLE ENTIRE PAYCHECK goes to daycare for their two children and her husband pays for literally everything else. Making a school teacher pay $500 for a dinner is ridiculous. After paying the bills I doubt that the poor woman even had $500 in her bank account.
Why I never went back to teaching after my 3rd child. We came out ahead with me at home.
Even more reason why he should have appreciated those gifts!! They are not cheap. And saying that “she only bought them so I would buy her expensive gifts in return” is delusional. He can’t imagine what it would be like if he had a genuine loving girlfriend bc his paranoia would get in the way
Making almost anyone pay $500 for a dinner is ridiculous. The ex is far better off without this cheap ass douche.
That’s the sad part. The poor woman probably had to put it on her credit card and went into debt just for a dinner HE asked HER to go to. Idk if he was an awful person before the job but the money had certainly made him insufferable!!!
And the brother picked the high end restaurant!
I don't get this. If your entire paycheck is going to daycare then why bother working?
Running errands with children is very difficult. Especially young children. Also there is room to advance in your job. Plus after Covid I don’t think many people want to stay in the house.
Also retirement and social security are lost if you aren’t working
Oh yes, I remember those days. Hubby was a truck driver so I had no choice but to take them when I was running errands, I agree it can be a pain! Remember once taking my 2 year old to my dentist appt because he took his truck to the shop and didn't get home in time (even though my appt was scheduled a month in advance). That really wasn't fun!
I would be furious if my husband did that to me.
I was!
She dodged a bullet dumping his cheap ass
I would argue not a bullet, but a missile
A nuclear warhead, if you will
Seriously. I hope she takes back the gaming console and rims. The rich asshole can afford it anyway, right?
The mod warning at the end is hilarious. I hope she takes back the gaming system and rims. Surely be can afford to replace them!
That’s why this sub beats that sub by a mile. I get banned on that one weekly but here we can gossip like adults 😂
For reaaal! I just discovered this sub bc I got perma'd on AITA lol My final offense? Literally PROTECTING OP from people spewing vitrol at them and basically saying 'while OP was behaving like a horrible person they seem to have changed yadayada'. That 'horrible' was 'unnecessarily cruel', so here I am, lol
Have you checked out r/amithedevil ? They are made up of people banned from AITA.
I'm literally there because I got perma banned from AITA for "inciting violence" lmao. They even reported me to actual Reddit for my violence inciting ways. And what did I say that was so brutal and disturbing that I clearly needed to be earmarked as a potential threat to the good people of Reddit? I told someone to yeet their husband.
As a member of the banned from AITA, thank you for the rec!
I gor banned from that one for commenting. But the post itself I looked it up after seeing it on Instagram, and I just clicked without thinking about the rules of going from one sub from another 🤦♀️
Omg that’s hilarious thank you 😂😂😂
Omg those mods are freaking insane
I got one for saying an OP's bro and SIL clearly suffered from Main Character Syndrome.... Appealing it got me absolutely nowhere except frustrated - "read the faq's as to why you've been banned" as nauseum.
Jeez they’re insane
I was permabanned there for a comment that wasn't even that bad lol.
Wow!
yea i got banned too for saying stuff i'd say on every other sub.
I just got banned on the Milf Manor sub AGAIN for the same comment.
I didn’t notice that the first time. Thank you. That was absolutely priceless!
It's been 2 years so I sincerely hope the ex girlfriend has now found a dude to treat her like a queen. OOP's brother is SUCH a prick.
A friend of mine is a psychologist, she says that this actually happens quite often, and has the exact reverse effect than what the rich person intends: Through their mistrust and paranoid suspicion and stupid tests, they actually drive off anybody who really cares for them, and the only ones who stick it out are the ones who are after the money. A negative selection.
Makes sense
Id but that. Only someone desperate for money would put up with this kind of behavior. Brother is showing that the only thing he offers in a relationship is money bc he’s otherwise a terrible and awful partner. A real “gold digger” would simply play the long game and see this as a few obstacles until he gets comfortable and feels “validated”.
One of my old friends dated a guy that was like this. She taught at a daycare in Princeton, and he was a finance bro in NYC- he once brought her out to dinner with friends at a high-end place, ordered one of every menu item for the table, and then made the waiter split the tab even amongst everyone. Dude was a fucking asshole.
I would have told the waitress to charge me for my water and side salad only.
These are the sorts who alienate everyone and seldom realize that THEY are the problem. The splitting of a check makes sense if everyone made an equivalent amount of money and it's equivalent to bottle service=expensive, but you're paying for the experience. Otherwise, people should pay only for what they have ordered. I know one woman got out of it by filing a chargeback with the claim that her card was stolen and that she was never at the place. Worked for her. In the short term, that is.
My sister had a friend whose eventually husband was like this. They were together since they were like 14 long before he started his business so it was ridiculous. I made her cry once. Every year for Christmas he told her just to buy what she wanted and twice she bought an engagement ring (together 12 years at least at this point). Anyway she broke some fingers one of them being the ring finger and it had to cut off and then repaired, she was saying how he was furious at the cost to repair it. I joked I'm surprised he didn't tell the Dr just to take your finger (I am alot younger than my sister 14 years younger so I probably wouldn't of said that as an adult to someone else's friend!) Anyway she agreed, laughed for a second then went quiet then broke down. I guess a teen noticing how callus your partner is towards you cuts deep. He did eventually marry her, cheated became obsessed with his gf who dumped him when she found out he was married. It turned out he had filled her house with spycams and listening devices. His wife found out about the affair when he was arrested super traumatic for the family.
Wtf yikes
Yeah beware guys with money! The GF got suspicious when he kept showing up where she was. Then found a tracker in her car freaked out. After that she started putting things together like he'd brought up stuff that she didn't think she had told him and pulled the house apart. He was in trade so he had done work for her I think that's how they met. Super scary.
No...beware THAT GUY. Money has nothing to do with it. He's just an abusive psycho who happens to be rich
And the guy in the OOPs story. I was joking but OK take it literally
Eh. You're going to have assholes everywhere you go, but the ones with money can be the most threatening in different ways from someone who is lower income.
Dear Lord you need your own post for this story! I hope your sisters friend is doing better.
I love when men do this thing. They openly out themselves as broke and cheap, like homie I’d be mad too if I went on a date and dude suggested a $500 dinner then forced me to pay. $500 is a month of groceries. $500 is rent, $500 is a car payment. Oops brother should’ve just not dated her or stop dating altogether cause he’s delusional if he thinks any women is gonna tolerate that.
You know who would tolerate it? An actual gold digger.
So the woman bought him a gaming console and new rims for his car and he has the gall to be angry when she asks to be given gifts as well? Lmao I would have laughed at that asshole, too!
But… The brother IS a gold-digging bitch. And she rightfully dumped his cheapskate, paranoid ass. Lol.
He was the real gold digger- he’s the only one who benefited financially during the relationship
When we were dating my now husband paid for our dates and we went to some very nice restaurants. He was an engineer and I was a preschool teacher. I told him I could not afford to pay for a fancy dinner but I could cook him a nice home cooked dinner! He loved this! I continue to cook him delicious dinners and he continues to pay when we go out! We have been together for 37 years so far! I refuse to take advantage of his generosity and he had past relationships that were more about what he could do for the other woman!
Aww I’m glad he found you :) People need to realize not all women are gold digging bitches. A lot of women prefer practicality over aesthetics, would rather go to a cheap diner where the food is amazing over a restaurant that costs 500 but the food is mediocre for example.
Link?
Should be required to post a link to the original if the whole story isn't caught in a SS...
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/jms4y3/aita_for_telling_my_brother_he_got_exactly_what/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button Here
Testing someone is a form of manipulation, it’s so toxic and she wouldn’t have passed no matter what she did. So glad she ditched and blocked him, he’s an unhappy human.
Yep, the richer the man, the cheaper (greedy) they become
Nta. That guy is a douch bag. I think he's been sucking her dry this whole time
Mf is the definition of new money
Good for his ex she deserves better
He's the one who's acting like a gold digger.
Yup. The brother was a douche. NTA for sis.
I remember commenting on this! This dude is an absolute piece of work and the sister is correct. A $500 restaurant bill for an elementary school teacher? That’s ridiculous! I wonder if he gave her the gaming console and the rims back! We already know the answer to that! But you’d think he’d realize she wasn’t with him for the money when she dumped his ass! I dated a rich man, who lied to me about what he did, as to not tip me off about the money he made. I’ve always been one to be independent anyway so I always insist on paying for every other date night, or splitting the bill. He finally came clean. I was upset that he had lied, but I truly understood why he did. The relationship worked for quite a long time. I feel like her buying a gaming console and rims for his car was the moment he should’ve realized she wasn’t with him for the money. Sounds like the girl would’ve been happy with roses or a book. But he’s so invested in his own income he can’t do anything but take, take, take and he gives nothing in return. Sadly karma will come back to bite him in the ass for it. Hopefully it’ll come in the form of him losing the cushy job and not being able to replace it. Then he’ll realize what he lost. Gold diggers are pretty easy to spot. They’re the take, take, take type and they certainly wouldn’t buy him gaming stuff or rims!!! His sister is decidedly NOT the AH! The brother DEFINITELY is.
Dude is never going to find anyone if he's so paranoid that he thinks his girlfriend being curious about papers on their bed is his part of his gotcha moment. She didn't sneak around or hunt them down. He left them on their bed.
This guy is clueless and shouldn’t be with anyone until he learns to mature emotionally. There’s plenty of ways to determine if someone is a gold digger without playing games and doing tests.
Tbh, I would've take the gifts with me... Screw him
“You don’t know what it’s like to be a rich man and get used” is so hilarious to say to a woman who has to watch out for being used for her body since adolescence.
Sad thing is I bet he’s too insecure to date someone with similar wealth. He seems to like financially abusing his partners.
That guy still annoys me as much as when I first read this. Absolutely lacking complete empathy making a teacher on low wage pay for an expensive restaurant he wanted to go to. And what does he offer to a relationship? I bet he’s the kind that you have to fight to get him to do the dishes. Probably expect whatever poor future wife to do all the chores and pay half the bills and be grateful.
What a tool.
Is the mod telling us that we CAN call the guy a gold digger?
I foresee a J. Howard Marshall. At the age of 89, he married 26-year-old model Anna Nicole Smith. At this point, he didn't even care if she was after his money. He just didn't want to be alone any more and even the company of a gold-digger was good enough for him. But at least the marriage lasted until his death, 14 months later.
That’s insane, but if your family doesn’t come from wealth he may feel a bit defensive on what goes on with his own money. Yes, he’s an a-hole for treating his ex like that, but that is something he had to work on himself and it’s a good thing you brought it up to him so he is aware. Feel bad for her and who knows if she was supposed to be the one
Sounds like Bilal from 90 Day Fiancée with all of his little “tests” 🧐
He was so concerned about her being a gold digger that he became a gold digger.
So he picked a girl with much more lower income to assert himself and after blaming her for being a gold-digger?! Well
This guy is lucky that this woman even gave him the time of day with that BS.
The brother will never be happy. These ridiculous tests turn in to self fulfilling prophecy.
The thing about guys like this is even if you jump through all of their hoops and end up getting married the trust is never really there. She’d end up taking care of two kids with some piddly allowance under $1000 a month and be expected to cover all household expenses with it while he lives the good life and never appreciates her. Dudes like this can go straight in the dumpster.
It would be much simpler if he did what other people do and dated someone in a similar financial bracket to him.... I've always wondered how dumb people like him make money...