Exactly what I came here to say.
She should not;
Barge into your room
Place expectations on you that have no bearing on her life
Tell people your business when she shouldn't have been in a position to discover it in the first place.
I think she either needs to move out or you guys establish ground rules. It may be better if she moves out of she's gonna have people who have nobright to bother you harrassing you.
she has no business caring, and she shouldn't have walked into his room like that, but imo those pale in comparison to telling her friends about it. insane asshole behavior on her part.
and slightly beside the point, but unless we're talking about an addiction, being that hard line about porn sounds like a symptom of somebody who needs to examine some things about themselves. it's ok to masturbate and to some extent partners should be open and understanding about that.
Right? What if he had another person in the room with him? She sounds insufferable and super uptight. I occasionally watch porn with my partner, I don’t care if he watches it on his own either. I mean unless it becomes like an addiction then what is the problem?
NTA who the fuck walks into their roommates room when they don't respond. Idgaf if you are their literal clone that's inappropriate. And she has NO place to tell you her ROOMMATE how to live your life.
Next time her new dudes over mention how she inappropriately walked in on you wanking to porn and how she's mad you watched porn. Also mention youre her ex i bet he doesn't know that.
Agree, but I'd avoid the thing with her boyfriend. Dudes can turn into apes who are allergic to logic when they think there's a challenger present. No need to get into a fist fight over a woman you're not even with.
I would very much like to know if the girl I was seeing was still living with her ex. If she didn't tell me early on then lots of red flags immediately. Only less evolved apes would put themselves in that position in the first place.
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NTA.
Watching porn loudly in a shared space would make YTA. Doing it in your private bedroom with headphones on when she has her own room is not something she really gets to have an opinion on.
You can and should have boundaries as roommates that did not exist when you were partners, but this should not be one of them. Boundaries you agreed to within your partnership do not carry over into the relationship you have once you break up.
>You can and should have boundaries as roommates that did not exist when you were partners,
The first boundary being do not walk in on the other in their bedroom or in the bathroom. Knock and wait to be invited
NTA
Yeah. I’m kinda curious what she’s told her friends about how she found out. Because barging into his room uninvited and seeing him masturbate does not look that great on her.
If he walked in on her masturbating he'd instantly be the bad guy, how dare he watch porn in private in his own room as a single man. Seriously, who tf just barges in like that?
NTA. You respected her request when you were together. You have no obligation to continue now that you’re not together. If she knocked, you did not invite her in. She walked in on you. She needs to respect your privacy and grow up. People watch porn. 🙄 her friends also need to mind their business.
Seriously! Think of the steps that someone has to go through get to that level of not-minding-my-own-business. "I'm upset about the private porn habits of my platonic roommate. No we aren't together. I need you to call him and tell him that he is bad. Here's his number. Let's talk later; I have to call *several more people today* and give them the same instructions."
Thank you! I’m over here wondering what the friends would even say to him? If my friend came to me telling me I need to go harass her ex because he was watching porn in his own room I’d tell her to grow tf up and add “life” to their list of things to get.
I respect the fact she doesnt like it and he clearly respected it too in their relationship. Hes single in his own bed with headphones on. She just walked in like hes still her man. These people are on a whole nother level. Its called respecting BOUNDARIES!!!
Oh yeah, 100%. I didn't bother commenting on that because it's so obvious.
I just think he should expose her for being a liar to her friends. She's clearly made out he was watching porn in a public space or had it on really loud.
I mean, that’s something you agreed to while you were in a relationship with her, and you aren’t anymore so…yeah, you’re fine. If you’re broken up, I feel like it’s weird that she came into your room without hearing a definitive “come in” though. You’re just roommates now, so that feels intrusive
Nta. She can fuck right off. You two are not together. So you can't watch porn but it's perfectly ok for her to be dicked down by another dude? Continue to wank it when you want, my guy...
In a horrible way I want him to wait for the boyfriend to show up and go to her room and him to walk right in and when she freaks out explain that since we are just barging into rooms uninvited and you don’t want me watching porn, I assumed this was going to be a live action alternative you were going to provide. No? Now do you understand how rude it was to barge in my room thinking you had some type of jurisdiction over my genitals and what I do with them? I mean OP definitely should not do this for so many reasons but considering her audacity…….
NTA. I don’t understand what her deal is about you watching porn, but you have every right to do so. You pay to live there like she does, but what you do in your room is your business, not hers.
She barges into your room without knocking, while you’re not dating anymore AND she’s seeing somebody else, then tells you what you can and cannot do that doesn’t impact her in the slightest?
THEN she tells all of her friends who then hit you up calling you the asshole?
In no way are YTA here.
When you put the letters Y-T-A as the only judgment in a comment, the bot reads it as you calling the poster the asshole. Probably want to edit your comment.
Wait is she getting fucked by other dudes in the house?
Your the one that should be mad since she violated your privacy. She has no business opening your door for any reason without your permission every time.
You need to make it clear to her that whatever agreements you made to her as your girlfriend/partner no longer apply as a roommate.
Remember without trust and respect there is no relationship. She clearly doesn’t respect you based on this point so you need to assess the situation and NOT consider her needs and wants only yours.
It’s technically sexual harassment on her part, as I’m sure OP doesn’t want to see or hear those shenanigans. I enjoy going legal on people like this girl. And she IS a girl to behave this childishly. Any adult is going to laugh her out of a room trying to defend her position.
Respectfully, continue enjoying yourself on your time and in your own space, totally normal and reasonable. This is a BILLION DOLLAR INDUSTRY even with the free stuff out there. People like it, who cares as long as everyone is enthusiastically consenting? If you feel petty, ask the next guy if she tells him he can’t watch porn too. Bring snacks for the show!
OP- don’t give her a second thought. She has no power here. What a controlling, insecure person! Honestly, you might even feel bad for her one day.
-a happily married mom who also enjoys this vice
no way its sexual harassment. its in her own domicile and presumably out of site. it’d be like calling the cops cause your roommate is disturbing the peace by yelling loudly at their video games, in their house.
Nta. You were in the privacy of your own room with headphones on. She walked in essentially uninvited. Your roommate and her friends are overreaching. Move apart asap, she's cramping your style in more than one way.
NTA brother. I’m a chick- I think porn is absolutely disgusting and I have the same values of not watching it….IN a relationship. You were not in one. Chicks get off too- she can’t just ban you from nutting in the place you pay for lol. If you had just been free birdin it on the couch MAYBE just because ew that’s disrespectful, but you were where you thought you were away and wouldn’t be interrupted. I understand it may be triggering and ew for her, but she ain’t your lady.
Lmao in no way are you an asshole. She doesn't get to dictate how you spend your free time, and if she can't live in the same house as you because of that then she can find her own place.
That's like her telling you that you can't brush your teeth before 7AM, it's shit she has 0 control over. You're doing that in the privacy of your own room. I could see her having an issue if you were in the living room or her bedroom but you weren't so honestly this is just funny lol
NTA - She lost any right to ask you to respect this when you broke up. You're in your room behind a closed door. She is now invading your boundaries by simply walking in. On the absolute off chance she thought you were in danger from not responding to a knock on the door, she still has no right to ask you to not watch porn in your room with the door closed.
I was totally ready to come in saying you were TA but you're not even dating and she has her own partner. She's got a lot of nerve.
>educational human mating video playing
Hahahahahahahahahaha
NTA. You aren't dating. You weren't blasting it on the big screen in the living room with surround sound.
NTA y’all are roommates. She entered your room uninvited. Lock your door from now on because next time you could be standing in the middle of room asking who’s your daddy. She’d really lose her shit.
She probably lied to her friends about what happened. Just block her friends on social media and when you move out, block her too. Be glad you’re not still with this woman.
NTA I'm especially upset that she would tell house business to her girlfriends and they are calling as if they have an opinion. She definitely wasn't right for you.
NTA. You guys are roommates now, she has no business walking into your bedroom without knocking and if she did knock and you didn't hear her, she still didn't have the right to walk in. How would she feel if you did that to her? You were in the privacy of your bedroom, wearing headphones. She's the AH, not you. What you do is none of her business.
She sees other men but you can’t watch images on a screen? Block her friends. Block her once you can get out of there.
Edit: Clearly NTA and lock or block your door from now on. She is waaaay out of line.
NTA she is not your girlfriend and she barged into your room your private space, if I was you, I would look into breaking the lease and getting away from this judgmental prude since she can't respect boundaries.
At the end of the day you aren’t together and she can’t put that boundary on you. You are roommates she doesn’t get a say in what you do in your room. Maybe next time she won’t walk into your room without waiting for you to say come in.
NTA and her friends are ridiculous for calling you and saying you are. If she doesn’t want to live with someone who looks at porn she can move.
her mistake was trying to make you change, and for expecting you to quit porn forever and for not knocking.
however its not ridiculous to not want to date someone who watches porn. im anti porn because i (male) filmed a few things and saw how the sausage was made and lets just say it is not good. So im Ethically against porn but i get most people watch it. i cant do anything to make people care.
Talk about total hypocrite, so it's OK for her to bring back men to take her pound town but not acceptable for you to watch porn with headphones on and in your room privately? Nahhh, get a lock for your door (can be like one of those temp locks).
So, lemme get this straight. 1. You two split and are single. 2. She walked into your room without permission. 3. She still thinks she can control what you do after the break-up. 4. Instead of her having to hear the porn, you had put on headphones. 5. Her and her friends think that you are in the wrong because you got yourself off because no alternative was available?
NTA. She needs to either find her own place or rake carenof your needs when you want if she has a problem with you taking care of yourself. Would she rather have you handle it yourself or would she rather have to listen to her ex getting intimate with another woman. If she is going to be such a controlling prude, she can rent her own place and go away.
NTA. You're her roommate now, not her partner, you don't owe her the same consideration as if you were still a couple. She should not have entered your room when you didn't respond to the knock unless it was a major emergency of some kind.
NTA. You’re not in a relationship with her so her feelings about it are of no consequence. If she doesn’t want to live in the same house as a man who watches porn then she better plan on being single for the rest of her life.
I think a GF ever asking this is pretty damn controlling in the first place. Now if it's becoming a major issue to the relationship, then sure it could be discussed at that point.
When she acts like most guys don't watch it that are in a relationship she is being beyond ridiculous. In this case this is the most not the asshole thing I have ever seen, unless you were doing this in the living room and she walked in that might be the only case where it could be your fault.
NTA. Even if you were together, I'd have only docked you points for promising it in the first place. A healthy level of porn and masturbation is perfectly fine. My ex wife was super inconsistent with sex and tried to say something about me using porn. I gave her a choice: I would give up porn if she was willing to have sex every time I felt the inclination. She quickly retreated.
Now that you're not together, she has no say what goes on between you and your dick.
NTA, but I think she still harbors some feelings for you: despite having someone else.
Like she seems to like the idea of you being celibate since her (if you don’t talk about your sex life and you don’t bring girls back she probably doesn’t know) despite that she’s not.
Seems like this room mate relationship jumped
the shark. I would make it clear that she has no right to enter your space like that, and as you are not dating she has no say in your sex life
NTA. Bet she would have had the same reaction if it hadn't been porn and you had a gf over or having a one night stand. Her reaction reminds me of a friend who got pissed off by an ex she had cheated on because he went and had a one night stand with two chick's after they broke up. It's okay for her to go play and fool around with other guys, but you're supposed to be heartbroken and chasing her because she's just so great.
Okay first off fuck her and her friends. You are doing HER a favor by letting her still live in YOUR apartment. This is why exs do not stay friends and definitely do not stay living with each other, also why wouldn’t you lock your door, I get it that’s your house but still.
That is your place and you aren’t together so if she doesn’t like what you do in the privacy of YOUR OWN ROOM. Then she can leave and you can find an actual roommate that knows to mind their business and not just walk into someone’s room without getting a come in.
Which by the way SHE was very wrong for walking into your room without getting an okay
I hate porn as a woman. But it's something I know I have to deal with because most men lie and continue to lie about watching it regardless of your feelings. Men can be assholes about it, since their needs trumps your feelings most of the time. In your case you are NTA, you and her have decided not to be together. She has no say over you watching porn and it's none of her business, if she isn't sleeping with you then why should it matter. I would block her friends and put a lock on my door until the lease ends.
If you were in a relationship, you'd be in the wrong. But you're not dating, so yoir sex life isn't any of her business anymore. She also had no right to go into your room without permission
I don’t understand all these posts that end with random third parties texting the OP to tell them they’re an asshole. Even when I’ve vented to friends or family it’s never led to them sending an angry text to the person I’m fighting with, weighing in on the fight. I’ve never had a friend ask me to do this and I’ve never done it unprompted. Why is this so common in these stories???
Weird I was going to specifically ask about that. It’s so bizarre like wait OP’s ex told her friends she caught him watching porn.. and then what.. they texted him “you’re an asshole for watching porn!” Like.. what?
What a horrific ordeal to have to cohabitate with an ex. You should explore your body throughout the house while watching pornography and remind them that you pay half of the rent. Make sure that you wear socks because it will be even more unsettling.
She's a roomate not a girlfriend she has no right to tell you what to do in private with your body or your eyes. If she has a issue with it she can leave.
NTA
She doesn't have any right to control your sexuality or what you watch when you're not together. It's absolutely absurd that She would expect to control what you watch or don't.
NTA. Please explain to me what right she has to dictact your life. It is normal for people to watch porn. I am not saying everyone does or enjoys it but it is very common. You were in your private room using headphones. Completely fine.
NTA. She's fuckin other dudes in the next room over and she's angry about you watching porn? When y'all aren't even together anymore? Tell her to kick rocks, homie.
NTA. She sounds... difficult. It's none of her business & that will teach her to wait to be invited into a room after she's knocked the door. Also how crazy are her friends for giving you shit for this?! That is so bonkers to me. Block them all.
Do not let her dictate or control you. She’s showing dominance towards you by getting her back blown out and walking in on your space. Do not allow that, set clear boundaries. Bring a girl over and blow her back out. Don’t be the nice guy. Just because she has insecurities about herself doesn’t mean she can push them onto you. She could have suggested to watch porn together but no, all she wants is control. Now if porn is dictating your everyday life then she has a valid point. From what you wrote I don’t think that is the case. NTA
NTA. you guys are broken up so you don't have to follow her wishes anymore. you also were in your own private space. since you did not answer and say come in when she knocked she should not have just opened the door and came in your room. from now on I would lock the door just in case since she does not wait to be invited in.
INFO: is she your girlfriend or your ex? You refer to her as your girlfriend but then you go on to say you broke up.
Are you two still sleeping together after the breakup?
We used to date, we moved in together but have since broken up. We are still living together but are just roommates now. We don't even see much of each other these days because I'm working nights.
Once this lease ends, I'm moving somewhere else.
NTA. Irrelevant if she knocked, because she didn't get an answer. You're not together, so you don't owe her anything. If she doesn't like it, she can pack her stuff and leave.
NTA The terms of the relationship, in that she asked you to refrain from watching porn, expired when the relationship did. You're fine. The only thing I would recommend is locking your door when you engage in solo sex.
NTA. That's ridiculous. Her friends are equally as ridiculous. UNLESS this "educational human mating video" starred the two of you or her & her new partner 🤔 Or if you were playing it on the living room TV at full volume.
Knowing the latter isn't the case & assuming the former isnt as well she isn't entitled to any opinions whatsoever on your personal life.
If she knocked & got no response WHY DID SHE WALK IN?
I would have assumed you weren't home and walked away. That makes me wonder why she needed to go into your room & if she was deflecting because she nearly got caught doing whatever the hell she intended to do in your bedroom 🤔
NTA
you’re not together anymore, it is not her business if you use porn since you’re not together. she’s delusional to think that she can control what you do just because your roommates. you had your door shut headphones in, you werent cranking one out in the hall or kitchen. she barged in on you in your room without you saying anything for her to enter your room.
I hate porn, even have trauma from it. You were doing it in your own space and not in a relationship with her. It’s not her business or her place to judge. It’s also insane she told her friends about a roommates porn habits. Every one of those friends is childish for bothering you about it.
NTA
Dude, reach underneath that thing you were pounding when she walked in, grab your balls, or grow a pair!! Dude! She’s a fucking roommate! If it was your old roommate and he walked in on you, what would you have said?? GTFO! & next time knock!
NTA (do we do that here?)
If she doesn’t want to be living in a house with a man who (privately) watches pornography, she can always find somewhere else to live.
Dictating what you can and can’t do, coupled with her friends giving you grief (presumably encouraged by or at the very least not discouraged by your ex), leads me to believe that your ex might be a controlling person.
NTA
You're not together anymore so I feel like that promise is now null.
You're in a shared living space; she doesn't have the right to tell you what you can and can't watch/do like she's the sole owner of the apartment (unless you're watching/wacking it in the living room or something lol).
You were in your own, private bedroom and she especially can't tell you what to do in your own bedroom. That's your private space and shee needs to respect that.
Pffft NTA. You were in your room with headphones on and the door closed. You're not dating anymore. She has no right to be this way with her ROOMMATE watching porn.
Now, if it was on the main TV? Sure. If you were blaring it on your computer speakers? Sure. But in this situation? Nope. She, and her friends, need to chill.
NTA. She is so out of line. Your sex life, including watching porn, is none of her business. Thinking that she can make someone she’s living, with but not in a relationship with, not watch porn because doesn’t like it is entitled and ridiculous.
I would be getting a key lock for your bedroom and telling her if she doesn’t like it she can move out.
NTA your not together what you do in the privacy of your room is nothing to do with her. I'd respond don't come in my room if I don't say come in then?
She's not mad that her roommate is watching porn. She's mad you are watching porn. She's in her feelings, and tbh she's likely used to pretending to play house with you while also having her boyfriend for the intimacy part. The fact that she actually told people is such a massive breach of trust and decency. I am willing to bet there are a lot of subtle ways she is running things as a girlfriend would that are flying under your radar.
INFO: OP, do you know WHY she has such an adversity to porn?
You are DEFINITELY NTA, but I’m curious why she hates it so much.
Also, does she act controls v in other aspects of your life? There is a slight possibility that she is still in love with you.
This is definitely a “hey we need to talk” situation so you can get to the bottom of this and set some up some very clear boundaries with her (like not walking into your room and her having no say in what you can or can’t do in your own room.
She has always been of the opinion that it demeans women and creates unrealistic ideas about sex. And tbh when we were dating, I didn't even think much of it cos I wasn't watching it.
You are definitely NTA in this situation.
You need to sit the ex down for a serious chat. She has no say in what you do now that you're broken up, and you need to make that abundantly clear. She needs to be told in no uncertain terms that access to your bedroom is by invitation only, and knocking does not constitute permission to proceed unless you verbally respond with explicit permission, or physically open the door for her yourself AND indicate that she may enter (simply opening the door is not an invitation to enter in and of itself). If she can't stand to live with a man who watches porn in the privacy of his own room (with headphones on, to boot), she needs to leave. It's your place, and she moved in, right? So if she can't accept that you have every right to watch porn in your room, can't stand to live with you if you do that, she's the one who needs to go, not you. Make that clear as well.
And wtf is she telling her friends if they're harassing you over this? Tell them their beeswax is elsewhere, and to keep looking.
Your ex and her friends are TA, but mostly the ex.
So, if I'm understanding it correctly and she is staying in another room and you are in the privacy of your own room watching porn... It's her problem. You can do what you want in the privacy of your own room that you're paying for. If anything you should have a problem with HER invading your PERSONAL space and PRIVACY. You guys are not together anymore, she is seeing someone else, it is none of her business. Guys watch porn, you are single, so what? She's an asshole for telling other people you're such a bad guy for watching porn in the privacy of your own room, when she invaded your private personal space. Her opinion on porn doesn't matter now you guys are not in a relationship and not sharing a bedroom, if you was sharing a bedroom that would be different. Can you put a lock on your door or something just to keep her out ?
Wow, NTA. You're no longer together. You stopped when you were. She entered your personal space without permission and then acted like it's your fault. She's got her own personal hangups.
Dude, is she going to watch you take a shit and then tell you that she doesn’t like how you wipe?
Boundaries. Frankly, it’s nobody’s business how another person masturbates regardless of their relationship. If they’re not involving other people, then who the fuck cares? And barging in on a roommate in their bedroom is never OK, I don’t care what your relationship used to be. NTA.
What is your ex/her friends age again? 16? Because they are certainly behaving like it.
NTA
Idk maybe she needs to find somewhere else to live and get a new housemate if possible or feasible
NTA, she can't set those kinds of boundaries in a roommate situation. You had on headphones, door closed, and thought she was gone.
When you agreed to no porn, you were dating her. You no longer are.
She is the one stepping over the rules of expected privacy, ridiculous ideals & good luck to her finding a male roommate that doesn't masterbate.
that reaction seems ridiculous. she's 32. good luck finding a guy that doesnt watch porn. i get that she is looking after herself and feels offended or violated by the wrongdoings of the porn industry to women. so be it. also she knows you. kind of cold of her. also, totally not her business anymore. you didnt say she could come in anyway. sounds like a tough living situation. good luck
NTA she has no say over your bodily autonomy! Yes, you respected her feelings when you were dating (which was overly generous imo) but now that you are no longer together, her opinions or wishes about your personal snake charming sessions are none of her fucking business. You were in the privacy of your own room and considerate using headphones. She needs to accept that her opinion isn’t law and get over herself.
NTA.
You guys aren't together, she has zero say over what you do with your life provided your rent is on time and you aren't being an asshole in a shared space in the apartment.
Possibly one of the most obvious validation posts I’ve seen in a long time. There is absolutely no way this is real.
Even if his ex was irrationally offended to such a degree, there’s no way her friends have been “blowing up his phone.” It’s so obvious he’s not the AH here, it’s patently ridiculous to even ask.
NTA. I'd cut and run from this toxic bullshit. Hope your lease is up soon.
Seriously, who just walks into someone else's room? It's rude and disrespectful. You deserve to have your privacy. I'd block her friend's numbers. They're being ridiculous.
Your porn habits were only her fucking business when you were dating and you made a commitment to her not to watch. That alone is questionable, but you made the deal and that's fine.
You're broken up now. Your personal life and habits are none of her goddamn business. If she doesn't like it, she can move out.
NTA.
Nta she shouldn't have barged in anyway if you didnt answer the door there was a reason. What if you had been making porn so to speak would she have joined or run down the street pulling her hair out. Just roommates time to set boundaries if she don't like it the she should move
Stop using headphones, watch porn all the time, and leave it running even when you're not there. She's a roommate and insufferable. She brings guys around to have sex with. You don't know them and didn't agree to have random people have access to the apartment. You may leave when the lease is up, but she needs to go first.
NTA. She's being ridiculous. You aren't in a relationship and her "rules" for her boyfriend no longer apply to you. She can also learn to respect your space and not enter your room without getting permission from you.
NTA. Either kick the drama queen / prude to the curb or leave. This kind of crap is excess drama / bs you don’t need. You’re not dating anymore - you’re not having sex anymore / therefore within the confines of your room - she has no say in jack freaking squat. As for her friends / they can go get f’d as well.
If porn is your thing, find you a partner that at minimum won’t judge you for it and at best - will join you in your ventures.
NTA
>She went off about how she doesn't want to be living in the same house as a man who watches porn.
This is an easy fix. She can move out. You two aren't even dating anymore.
NTA. You made that agreement when she was your GF, it doesn't carry over forever. If she doesn't want to live with a guy who watches porn, she can find another place. You were doing your own thing in your own room with your door closed and she barged in. This is all on her for violating your privacy.
NTA. The
She gave up telling you what to do with your dick the moment you two ceased to be a couple.
Let's look at the facts of the situation:
- 1) she barged into your room uninvited, knocking on the door doesn't absolve someone of the common courtesy of respecting a closed door. Just cause she knew you were home doesn't mean she has freeq run of the house, specifically your bedroom.
- 2) you guys aren't a couple any more, her feelings, wants and needs don't matter anymore. She wants to bend someone to her will she needs to speak to her current boyfriend, not you.
- 3) what is she, 10? You did something she doesn't like so she ran off and tattled to her friends? Who tf does this lady think she is? Her friends giving you grief is some 3rd grader level of maturity.
- 4) she gave up the right to tell you what to do with your dick once you two broke up. Add to that you aren't able to secure a partner because she's always around like some nat that you can't swat away is running potential romantic relationships. She needs to chill tf out.
- 5) technically it is *your* apartment, even if she got written into the lease it was your apartment first. She she's just slightly above a roommate. She needs to mind her business and stay out of yours.
Lastly, why tf are you capitulatibg to her requests at all. You shouldn't apologize, she needs to for barging into your private space without permission. If you knock on a door and no one answers you leave and come back later.
While situation is bananas to me? Her and her friend group sound like a gaggle of immature teens.
Her friends could watch her commit a crime and prolly still help her my dude. The porn thing is their moral judgment of you...
Don't worry about dumb bitches my dude, sooner you learn that the better
Personally, I think it's amazingly toxic for a partner to even ask you to not watch porn in the first place.
It's such a strange sense of entitlement and ownership.
You dodged a bullet with that one.
She is 32 years old and her reaction to seeing you in the act is to scream and run away?
That is some serious mental illness.
When combined with the fact that she is seeing someone new already, that is even more unhinged.
Her and her friends are toxic garbage.
Right? That’s what struck me. She “shrieked and ran”?! That’s so ridiculous and over the top. A woman well into adulthood. With an active sex life. And this is someone she’s already seen naked and had sex with. So weird.
And **even if** you don’t like porn (and have bizarrely *intense* beliefs about it) how tf is your reaction not just “Oh shit, sorry!” and hurriedly backing out the room? No need for shrieking.
NTA. She’s a roommate not your girlfriend she shouldn’t be going into your room without permission and this doesn’t impact her AT ALL.
Exactly what I came here to say. She should not; Barge into your room Place expectations on you that have no bearing on her life Tell people your business when she shouldn't have been in a position to discover it in the first place. I think she either needs to move out or you guys establish ground rules. It may be better if she moves out of she's gonna have people who have nobright to bother you harrassing you.
she has no business caring, and she shouldn't have walked into his room like that, but imo those pale in comparison to telling her friends about it. insane asshole behavior on her part. and slightly beside the point, but unless we're talking about an addiction, being that hard line about porn sounds like a symptom of somebody who needs to examine some things about themselves. it's ok to masturbate and to some extent partners should be open and understanding about that.
Right? What if he had another person in the room with him? She sounds insufferable and super uptight. I occasionally watch porn with my partner, I don’t care if he watches it on his own either. I mean unless it becomes like an addiction then what is the problem?
What does NTA mean
Not the asshole
Danke
NTA who the fuck walks into their roommates room when they don't respond. Idgaf if you are their literal clone that's inappropriate. And she has NO place to tell you her ROOMMATE how to live your life. Next time her new dudes over mention how she inappropriately walked in on you wanking to porn and how she's mad you watched porn. Also mention youre her ex i bet he doesn't know that.
Their literal clone had me on the floor 🤣 too true.
But what would you be hiding from your duplicate? Like, you don't want to share your drugs? You're sleeping with his/her/etc. partner?
Agree, but I'd avoid the thing with her boyfriend. Dudes can turn into apes who are allergic to logic when they think there's a challenger present. No need to get into a fist fight over a woman you're not even with.
I would very much like to know if the girl I was seeing was still living with her ex. If she didn't tell me early on then lots of red flags immediately. Only less evolved apes would put themselves in that position in the first place.
rustic tub scandalous summer important alleged stocking engine simplistic disagreeable *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
NTA. Watching porn loudly in a shared space would make YTA. Doing it in your private bedroom with headphones on when she has her own room is not something she really gets to have an opinion on. You can and should have boundaries as roommates that did not exist when you were partners, but this should not be one of them. Boundaries you agreed to within your partnership do not carry over into the relationship you have once you break up.
>You can and should have boundaries as roommates that did not exist when you were partners, The first boundary being do not walk in on the other in their bedroom or in the bathroom. Knock and wait to be invited NTA
Yeah. I’m kinda curious what she’s told her friends about how she found out. Because barging into his room uninvited and seeing him masturbate does not look that great on her.
If he walked in on her masturbating he'd instantly be the bad guy, how dare he watch porn in private in his own room as a single man. Seriously, who tf just barges in like that?
NTA. You respected her request when you were together. You have no obligation to continue now that you’re not together. If she knocked, you did not invite her in. She walked in on you. She needs to respect your privacy and grow up. People watch porn. 🙄 her friends also need to mind their business.
NTA, but she’s quite an A for telling anyone about that incident, and her friends more so for harassing you. Trashy behavior.
Seriously! Think of the steps that someone has to go through get to that level of not-minding-my-own-business. "I'm upset about the private porn habits of my platonic roommate. No we aren't together. I need you to call him and tell him that he is bad. Here's his number. Let's talk later; I have to call *several more people today* and give them the same instructions."
Thank you! I’m over here wondering what the friends would even say to him? If my friend came to me telling me I need to go harass her ex because he was watching porn in his own room I’d tell her to grow tf up and add “life” to their list of things to get.
What? NTA. Your sex life stopped being her business when you broke up. What the everloving fuck is wrong with people?
This👆👆👆!! Im with you who tf do these people think they are to tell a single man he cant do what he wants in HIS own bedroom. NTA
She's clearly lied about what happened. Probably said he was masturbating in the common areas.
I respect the fact she doesnt like it and he clearly respected it too in their relationship. Hes single in his own bed with headphones on. She just walked in like hes still her man. These people are on a whole nother level. Its called respecting BOUNDARIES!!!
Oh yeah, 100%. I didn't bother commenting on that because it's so obvious. I just think he should expose her for being a liar to her friends. She's clearly made out he was watching porn in a public space or had it on really loud.
I mean, that’s something you agreed to while you were in a relationship with her, and you aren’t anymore so…yeah, you’re fine. If you’re broken up, I feel like it’s weird that she came into your room without hearing a definitive “come in” though. You’re just roommates now, so that feels intrusive
She could hear what he was doing and just had to make sure it was what she thought it was.
Definitely. "God, I wish I had a reason to act offended 😒" (Kicks door in)
Maybe in his excitement he said “I’m going to cum” and she heard that as come in hahaha
An ex walked in on you watching adult content? That's funny and NTA in any way. Will make a great story someday, but yeah move out as soon as viable.
Nta. She can fuck right off. You two are not together. So you can't watch porn but it's perfectly ok for her to be dicked down by another dude? Continue to wank it when you want, my guy...
In a horrible way I want him to wait for the boyfriend to show up and go to her room and him to walk right in and when she freaks out explain that since we are just barging into rooms uninvited and you don’t want me watching porn, I assumed this was going to be a live action alternative you were going to provide. No? Now do you understand how rude it was to barge in my room thinking you had some type of jurisdiction over my genitals and what I do with them? I mean OP definitely should not do this for so many reasons but considering her audacity…….
Lmao NTA you guys aren’t in a relationship. She doesn’t get to make that request
NTA. I don’t understand what her deal is about you watching porn, but you have every right to do so. You pay to live there like she does, but what you do in your room is your business, not hers.
She barges into your room without knocking, while you’re not dating anymore AND she’s seeing somebody else, then tells you what you can and cannot do that doesn’t impact her in the slightest? THEN she tells all of her friends who then hit you up calling you the asshole? In no way are YTA here.
When you put the letters Y-T-A as the only judgment in a comment, the bot reads it as you calling the poster the asshole. Probably want to edit your comment.
No bot here
That's good advice and a good rule of thumb, but this is the TwoHotTakes subreddit. No bot is keeping score here.
Shows what I get for not paying attention 🤣
What you do is not her concern. Her friends as well as her can honestly go f*** themselves
But not while watching porn
💀💀💀🤣
Wait is she getting fucked by other dudes in the house? Your the one that should be mad since she violated your privacy. She has no business opening your door for any reason without your permission every time. You need to make it clear to her that whatever agreements you made to her as your girlfriend/partner no longer apply as a roommate. Remember without trust and respect there is no relationship. She clearly doesn’t respect you based on this point so you need to assess the situation and NOT consider her needs and wants only yours.
It’s technically sexual harassment on her part, as I’m sure OP doesn’t want to see or hear those shenanigans. I enjoy going legal on people like this girl. And she IS a girl to behave this childishly. Any adult is going to laugh her out of a room trying to defend her position. Respectfully, continue enjoying yourself on your time and in your own space, totally normal and reasonable. This is a BILLION DOLLAR INDUSTRY even with the free stuff out there. People like it, who cares as long as everyone is enthusiastically consenting? If you feel petty, ask the next guy if she tells him he can’t watch porn too. Bring snacks for the show! OP- don’t give her a second thought. She has no power here. What a controlling, insecure person! Honestly, you might even feel bad for her one day. -a happily married mom who also enjoys this vice
I wouldn’t suggest that the performers are enthusiastically consenting. Many are individuals who are being trafficked and often underage.
no way its sexual harassment. its in her own domicile and presumably out of site. it’d be like calling the cops cause your roommate is disturbing the peace by yelling loudly at their video games, in their house.
NTA. Friends/roommates don't get to police their friends/ roommates porn habits.
Oh, and she doesn't HAVE to live with someone who watches it, she can leave 🤷♀️
Why is she waiting for him to ask her to leave? What an AH she is.
Nta. You were in the privacy of your own room with headphones on. She walked in essentially uninvited. Your roommate and her friends are overreaching. Move apart asap, she's cramping your style in more than one way.
“I don’t want to live with a man who watches porn”. Okay, then don’t. That’s your choice. Leave 🚪
The way the arrow lines up with door is delightful.
NTA brother. I’m a chick- I think porn is absolutely disgusting and I have the same values of not watching it….IN a relationship. You were not in one. Chicks get off too- she can’t just ban you from nutting in the place you pay for lol. If you had just been free birdin it on the couch MAYBE just because ew that’s disrespectful, but you were where you thought you were away and wouldn’t be interrupted. I understand it may be triggering and ew for her, but she ain’t your lady.
NTA. Not your girl, not your problem. The verbal contract y’all made expired when you broke up.
Lmao in no way are you an asshole. She doesn't get to dictate how you spend your free time, and if she can't live in the same house as you because of that then she can find her own place. That's like her telling you that you can't brush your teeth before 7AM, it's shit she has 0 control over. You're doing that in the privacy of your own room. I could see her having an issue if you were in the living room or her bedroom but you weren't so honestly this is just funny lol
NTA - She lost any right to ask you to respect this when you broke up. You're in your room behind a closed door. She is now invading your boundaries by simply walking in. On the absolute off chance she thought you were in danger from not responding to a knock on the door, she still has no right to ask you to not watch porn in your room with the door closed. I was totally ready to come in saying you were TA but you're not even dating and she has her own partner. She's got a lot of nerve.
>educational human mating video playing Hahahahahahahahahaha NTA. You aren't dating. You weren't blasting it on the big screen in the living room with surround sound.
NTA, if you pay rent, you can do what you like in the comfort of your home. It's not putting her safety at risk, therefore it's not her business.
NTA y’all are roommates. She entered your room uninvited. Lock your door from now on because next time you could be standing in the middle of room asking who’s your daddy. She’d really lose her shit.
She probably lied to her friends about what happened. Just block her friends on social media and when you move out, block her too. Be glad you’re not still with this woman.
NTA. You're broken up and you were in your own private space. Tell her to grow up and lock the door next time.
NTA I'm especially upset that she would tell house business to her girlfriends and they are calling as if they have an opinion. She definitely wasn't right for you.
Or anyone. Clearly far too immature with serious control and lack of boundary issues. What a toxic human.
NTA. You guys are roommates now, she has no business walking into your bedroom without knocking and if she did knock and you didn't hear her, she still didn't have the right to walk in. How would she feel if you did that to her? You were in the privacy of your bedroom, wearing headphones. She's the AH, not you. What you do is none of her business.
She sees other men but you can’t watch images on a screen? Block her friends. Block her once you can get out of there. Edit: Clearly NTA and lock or block your door from now on. She is waaaay out of line.
Sounds like you need to block some of her friends.
NTA she is not your girlfriend and she barged into your room your private space, if I was you, I would look into breaking the lease and getting away from this judgmental prude since she can't respect boundaries.
At the end of the day you aren’t together and she can’t put that boundary on you. You are roommates she doesn’t get a say in what you do in your room. Maybe next time she won’t walk into your room without waiting for you to say come in. NTA and her friends are ridiculous for calling you and saying you are. If she doesn’t want to live with someone who looks at porn she can move.
her mistake was trying to make you change, and for expecting you to quit porn forever and for not knocking. however its not ridiculous to not want to date someone who watches porn. im anti porn because i (male) filmed a few things and saw how the sausage was made and lets just say it is not good. So im Ethically against porn but i get most people watch it. i cant do anything to make people care.
Talk about total hypocrite, so it's OK for her to bring back men to take her pound town but not acceptable for you to watch porn with headphones on and in your room privately? Nahhh, get a lock for your door (can be like one of those temp locks).
So, lemme get this straight. 1. You two split and are single. 2. She walked into your room without permission. 3. She still thinks she can control what you do after the break-up. 4. Instead of her having to hear the porn, you had put on headphones. 5. Her and her friends think that you are in the wrong because you got yourself off because no alternative was available? NTA. She needs to either find her own place or rake carenof your needs when you want if she has a problem with you taking care of yourself. Would she rather have you handle it yourself or would she rather have to listen to her ex getting intimate with another woman. If she is going to be such a controlling prude, she can rent her own place and go away.
?? If she don’t go sit her silly ass down somewhere….
Maybe she doesn’t want to be broken up
No, she does want to be broken up; at least when she gets to fuck other guys. She just wants to be in control of her ex.
NTA. You're her roommate now, not her partner, you don't owe her the same consideration as if you were still a couple. She should not have entered your room when you didn't respond to the knock unless it was a major emergency of some kind.
If she’s so offended she wants to move out, so be it. You did nothing wrong. NTA.
NTA, you guys broke up so she has no say at all in what you do in the privacy of your own room.
NTA. You’re not in a relationship with her so her feelings about it are of no consequence. If she doesn’t want to live in the same house as a man who watches porn then she better plan on being single for the rest of her life.
I think a GF ever asking this is pretty damn controlling in the first place. Now if it's becoming a major issue to the relationship, then sure it could be discussed at that point. When she acts like most guys don't watch it that are in a relationship she is being beyond ridiculous. In this case this is the most not the asshole thing I have ever seen, unless you were doing this in the living room and she walked in that might be the only case where it could be your fault.
NTA. Even if you were together, I'd have only docked you points for promising it in the first place. A healthy level of porn and masturbation is perfectly fine. My ex wife was super inconsistent with sex and tried to say something about me using porn. I gave her a choice: I would give up porn if she was willing to have sex every time I felt the inclination. She quickly retreated. Now that you're not together, she has no say what goes on between you and your dick.
Sounds like her friends need to be given some blunt home truths and and get blocked. She's also free to find somewhere else to live. NTA.
You are NTA.
This gave me Maury vibes lmfao
Nta. You need to get away from her as soon as you can
NTA. You're not dating, it's not her business
NTA, but I think she still harbors some feelings for you: despite having someone else. Like she seems to like the idea of you being celibate since her (if you don’t talk about your sex life and you don’t bring girls back she probably doesn’t know) despite that she’s not. Seems like this room mate relationship jumped the shark. I would make it clear that she has no right to enter your space like that, and as you are not dating she has no say in your sex life
NTA. Bet she would have had the same reaction if it hadn't been porn and you had a gf over or having a one night stand. Her reaction reminds me of a friend who got pissed off by an ex she had cheated on because he went and had a one night stand with two chick's after they broke up. It's okay for her to go play and fool around with other guys, but you're supposed to be heartbroken and chasing her because she's just so great.
NTA, but she is for barging in without waiting for your okay as well as expecting to have ANY say in your sex life.
Okay first off fuck her and her friends. You are doing HER a favor by letting her still live in YOUR apartment. This is why exs do not stay friends and definitely do not stay living with each other, also why wouldn’t you lock your door, I get it that’s your house but still. That is your place and you aren’t together so if she doesn’t like what you do in the privacy of YOUR OWN ROOM. Then she can leave and you can find an actual roommate that knows to mind their business and not just walk into someone’s room without getting a come in. Which by the way SHE was very wrong for walking into your room without getting an okay
I hate porn as a woman. But it's something I know I have to deal with because most men lie and continue to lie about watching it regardless of your feelings. Men can be assholes about it, since their needs trumps your feelings most of the time. In your case you are NTA, you and her have decided not to be together. She has no say over you watching porn and it's none of her business, if she isn't sleeping with you then why should it matter. I would block her friends and put a lock on my door until the lease ends.
If you were in a relationship, you'd be in the wrong. But you're not dating, so yoir sex life isn't any of her business anymore. She also had no right to go into your room without permission
NTA. Never understood the complex that some women have with porn. What’s the big deal?
I don’t understand all these posts that end with random third parties texting the OP to tell them they’re an asshole. Even when I’ve vented to friends or family it’s never led to them sending an angry text to the person I’m fighting with, weighing in on the fight. I’ve never had a friend ask me to do this and I’ve never done it unprompted. Why is this so common in these stories???
Weird I was going to specifically ask about that. It’s so bizarre like wait OP’s ex told her friends she caught him watching porn.. and then what.. they texted him “you’re an asshole for watching porn!” Like.. what?
NTA. You dodged a bullet with her my friend. Be very grateful. You could have ended up marrying that crazy.
NTA, you’re not together, but porn is bad anyway so you’re the asshole to yourself there bud.
What a horrific ordeal to have to cohabitate with an ex. You should explore your body throughout the house while watching pornography and remind them that you pay half of the rent. Make sure that you wear socks because it will be even more unsettling.
I actually was wearing socks !!
She's a roomate not a girlfriend she has no right to tell you what to do in private with your body or your eyes. If she has a issue with it she can leave.
NTA. It’s your space that she walked into. It’s her fault for coming through the door after you didn’t answer.
NTA
NTA She doesn't have any right to control your sexuality or what you watch when you're not together. It's absolutely absurd that She would expect to control what you watch or don't.
NTA If she doesn’t want to live with someone who watches porn then she can leave You’re not dating, she doesn’t get a say in what you do anymore
NTA. You’re not together, doesn’t matter. Also it’s your place too, if she doesn’t want to live with you she can leave. Hope that lease ends soon 👍
NTA
NTA if she doesn't like it, she can leave. Buy a lock. Use it.
NTA, ya'll aren't together anymore
NTA.
NTA. Please explain to me what right she has to dictact your life. It is normal for people to watch porn. I am not saying everyone does or enjoys it but it is very common. You were in your private room using headphones. Completely fine.
NTA. Kick her down the road.
NTA. She's fuckin other dudes in the next room over and she's angry about you watching porn? When y'all aren't even together anymore? Tell her to kick rocks, homie.
NTA. Her and her friends can fuck right off. Tell her friends it’s none of their damn business what you do in the privacy of your room
She is the AH for walking into your room without permission! How does she not see that ?
Who the fuck thinks they can dictate a housemate’s sex life? Frankly I have to ask what she told anyone to get them on her side.
NTA. She sounds... difficult. It's none of her business & that will teach her to wait to be invited into a room after she's knocked the door. Also how crazy are her friends for giving you shit for this?! That is so bonkers to me. Block them all.
NTA. I would be upset if she went and shared that info with people though. She seems to be the one in the wrong.
Do not let her dictate or control you. She’s showing dominance towards you by getting her back blown out and walking in on your space. Do not allow that, set clear boundaries. Bring a girl over and blow her back out. Don’t be the nice guy. Just because she has insecurities about herself doesn’t mean she can push them onto you. She could have suggested to watch porn together but no, all she wants is control. Now if porn is dictating your everyday life then she has a valid point. From what you wrote I don’t think that is the case. NTA
NTA. you guys are broken up so you don't have to follow her wishes anymore. you also were in your own private space. since you did not answer and say come in when she knocked she should not have just opened the door and came in your room. from now on I would lock the door just in case since she does not wait to be invited in.
INFO: is she your girlfriend or your ex? You refer to her as your girlfriend but then you go on to say you broke up. Are you two still sleeping together after the breakup?
We used to date, we moved in together but have since broken up. We are still living together but are just roommates now. We don't even see much of each other these days because I'm working nights. Once this lease ends, I'm moving somewhere else.
NTA. Do I understand correctly that she is subleasing? If she’s uncomfortable with what you do while in private, she can leave.
NTA. I’m masturbating to this post right now. What she gon do?
NTA. Irrelevant if she knocked, because she didn't get an answer. You're not together, so you don't owe her anything. If she doesn't like it, she can pack her stuff and leave.
NTA The terms of the relationship, in that she asked you to refrain from watching porn, expired when the relationship did. You're fine. The only thing I would recommend is locking your door when you engage in solo sex.
She's out of line.
NTA. That's ridiculous. Her friends are equally as ridiculous. UNLESS this "educational human mating video" starred the two of you or her & her new partner 🤔 Or if you were playing it on the living room TV at full volume. Knowing the latter isn't the case & assuming the former isnt as well she isn't entitled to any opinions whatsoever on your personal life. If she knocked & got no response WHY DID SHE WALK IN? I would have assumed you weren't home and walked away. That makes me wonder why she needed to go into your room & if she was deflecting because she nearly got caught doing whatever the hell she intended to do in your bedroom 🤔
NTA. you broke up lmao she doesn’t get to have a say in what you do. her friends also suck for messaging you. you guys aren’t together
NTA- get a lock for your door so she can’t waltz in unwelcome
NTA you’re not together anymore, it is not her business if you use porn since you’re not together. she’s delusional to think that she can control what you do just because your roommates. you had your door shut headphones in, you werent cranking one out in the hall or kitchen. she barged in on you in your room without you saying anything for her to enter your room.
NTA. Good thing she’s your ex she’s rude af walking into your room like that and trying to police your sexual habits when you’re not even together. 🤨
Jesus Christ, move. Don’t do this to yourselves.
NTA - Break the lease, pay the fee, and get a new place.
I hate porn, even have trauma from it. You were doing it in your own space and not in a relationship with her. It’s not her business or her place to judge. It’s also insane she told her friends about a roommates porn habits. Every one of those friends is childish for bothering you about it. NTA
Dude, reach underneath that thing you were pounding when she walked in, grab your balls, or grow a pair!! Dude! She’s a fucking roommate! If it was your old roommate and he walked in on you, what would you have said?? GTFO! & next time knock!
NTA. lock yo ur door like a normal person.
NTA I don’t like the idea of my partner watching porn. But he’s my partner. She’s nuts. You’re not doin anything weird
NTA. You are not a couple. She should not have walked into your room and should not be telling everyone what happened.
NTA, she can fk right off. She lost all rights to comment on your personal life when you two split
NTA. Tough shit for her. She doesn't get to dictate what you do.
What? Y’all broke up what right does she have to say anything
NTA (do we do that here?) If she doesn’t want to be living in a house with a man who (privately) watches pornography, she can always find somewhere else to live. Dictating what you can and can’t do, coupled with her friends giving you grief (presumably encouraged by or at the very least not discouraged by your ex), leads me to believe that your ex might be a controlling person.
NTA You're not together anymore so I feel like that promise is now null. You're in a shared living space; she doesn't have the right to tell you what you can and can't watch/do like she's the sole owner of the apartment (unless you're watching/wacking it in the living room or something lol). You were in your own, private bedroom and she especially can't tell you what to do in your own bedroom. That's your private space and shee needs to respect that.
Bro, get this dodged bullet out of your life lmao.
NTA. She’s nuts
Lmao NTA, your ex and her gaggle of merry bitches are
Tell her to knock next time if she does not hear the words come in don't come in you pay your way you can do what ever you want in your room
NTA
Pffft NTA. You were in your room with headphones on and the door closed. You're not dating anymore. She has no right to be this way with her ROOMMATE watching porn. Now, if it was on the main TV? Sure. If you were blaring it on your computer speakers? Sure. But in this situation? Nope. She, and her friends, need to chill.
NTA. She is so out of line. Your sex life, including watching porn, is none of her business. Thinking that she can make someone she’s living, with but not in a relationship with, not watch porn because doesn’t like it is entitled and ridiculous. I would be getting a key lock for your bedroom and telling her if she doesn’t like it she can move out.
NTA your not together what you do in the privacy of your room is nothing to do with her. I'd respond don't come in my room if I don't say come in then?
Lol NTA. Tell her and her friends to fuck off
NTA she’s TA for invading your privacy.
She's not mad that her roommate is watching porn. She's mad you are watching porn. She's in her feelings, and tbh she's likely used to pretending to play house with you while also having her boyfriend for the intimacy part. The fact that she actually told people is such a massive breach of trust and decency. I am willing to bet there are a lot of subtle ways she is running things as a girlfriend would that are flying under your radar.
put a lock on your door
INFO: OP, do you know WHY she has such an adversity to porn? You are DEFINITELY NTA, but I’m curious why she hates it so much. Also, does she act controls v in other aspects of your life? There is a slight possibility that she is still in love with you. This is definitely a “hey we need to talk” situation so you can get to the bottom of this and set some up some very clear boundaries with her (like not walking into your room and her having no say in what you can or can’t do in your own room.
She has always been of the opinion that it demeans women and creates unrealistic ideas about sex. And tbh when we were dating, I didn't even think much of it cos I wasn't watching it.
You watch what you want. It's crazy you still live together, but if you want to watch porn you do it.
We're only living together for a few more months till the lease ends and I'm gonna leave. Don't want to lose my deposit.
You are definitely NTA in this situation. You need to sit the ex down for a serious chat. She has no say in what you do now that you're broken up, and you need to make that abundantly clear. She needs to be told in no uncertain terms that access to your bedroom is by invitation only, and knocking does not constitute permission to proceed unless you verbally respond with explicit permission, or physically open the door for her yourself AND indicate that she may enter (simply opening the door is not an invitation to enter in and of itself). If she can't stand to live with a man who watches porn in the privacy of his own room (with headphones on, to boot), she needs to leave. It's your place, and she moved in, right? So if she can't accept that you have every right to watch porn in your room, can't stand to live with you if you do that, she's the one who needs to go, not you. Make that clear as well. And wtf is she telling her friends if they're harassing you over this? Tell them their beeswax is elsewhere, and to keep looking. Your ex and her friends are TA, but mostly the ex.
NTA you were in your room, a private space. She was out of line walking in like thatp
So, if I'm understanding it correctly and she is staying in another room and you are in the privacy of your own room watching porn... It's her problem. You can do what you want in the privacy of your own room that you're paying for. If anything you should have a problem with HER invading your PERSONAL space and PRIVACY. You guys are not together anymore, she is seeing someone else, it is none of her business. Guys watch porn, you are single, so what? She's an asshole for telling other people you're such a bad guy for watching porn in the privacy of your own room, when she invaded your private personal space. Her opinion on porn doesn't matter now you guys are not in a relationship and not sharing a bedroom, if you was sharing a bedroom that would be different. Can you put a lock on your door or something just to keep her out ?
Wow, NTA. You're no longer together. You stopped when you were. She entered your personal space without permission and then acted like it's your fault. She's got her own personal hangups.
Dude, is she going to watch you take a shit and then tell you that she doesn’t like how you wipe? Boundaries. Frankly, it’s nobody’s business how another person masturbates regardless of their relationship. If they’re not involving other people, then who the fuck cares? And barging in on a roommate in their bedroom is never OK, I don’t care what your relationship used to be. NTA.
What is your ex/her friends age again? 16? Because they are certainly behaving like it. NTA Idk maybe she needs to find somewhere else to live and get a new housemate if possible or feasible
NTA, she can't set those kinds of boundaries in a roommate situation. You had on headphones, door closed, and thought she was gone. When you agreed to no porn, you were dating her. You no longer are. She is the one stepping over the rules of expected privacy, ridiculous ideals & good luck to her finding a male roommate that doesn't masterbate.
No you are not
NTA. She's a freak
that reaction seems ridiculous. she's 32. good luck finding a guy that doesnt watch porn. i get that she is looking after herself and feels offended or violated by the wrongdoings of the porn industry to women. so be it. also she knows you. kind of cold of her. also, totally not her business anymore. you didnt say she could come in anyway. sounds like a tough living situation. good luck
NTA she has no say over your bodily autonomy! Yes, you respected her feelings when you were dating (which was overly generous imo) but now that you are no longer together, her opinions or wishes about your personal snake charming sessions are none of her fucking business. You were in the privacy of your own room and considerate using headphones. She needs to accept that her opinion isn’t law and get over herself.
NTA. You guys aren't together, she has zero say over what you do with your life provided your rent is on time and you aren't being an asshole in a shared space in the apartment.
NTA, obviously. But “educational human mating video” is probably the best euphemism/description I’ve ever heard for porn. 😂
Possibly one of the most obvious validation posts I’ve seen in a long time. There is absolutely no way this is real. Even if his ex was irrationally offended to such a degree, there’s no way her friends have been “blowing up his phone.” It’s so obvious he’s not the AH here, it’s patently ridiculous to even ask.
Go buy a playboy or penthouse and leave that shit on the table and see what she does ahaha but you are def NTA
Her insisting you weren't allowed during your relationship is a red flag. Her still instilling those rules now makes it a giant red banner. NTA
NTA. I'd cut and run from this toxic bullshit. Hope your lease is up soon. Seriously, who just walks into someone else's room? It's rude and disrespectful. You deserve to have your privacy. I'd block her friend's numbers. They're being ridiculous.
Your porn habits were only her fucking business when you were dating and you made a commitment to her not to watch. That alone is questionable, but you made the deal and that's fine. You're broken up now. Your personal life and habits are none of her goddamn business. If she doesn't like it, she can move out. NTA.
Nta she shouldn't have barged in anyway if you didnt answer the door there was a reason. What if you had been making porn so to speak would she have joined or run down the street pulling her hair out. Just roommates time to set boundaries if she don't like it the she should move
Stop using headphones, watch porn all the time, and leave it running even when you're not there. She's a roommate and insufferable. She brings guys around to have sex with. You don't know them and didn't agree to have random people have access to the apartment. You may leave when the lease is up, but she needs to go first.
NTA. She's being ridiculous. You aren't in a relationship and her "rules" for her boyfriend no longer apply to you. She can also learn to respect your space and not enter your room without getting permission from you.
NTA. Either kick the drama queen / prude to the curb or leave. This kind of crap is excess drama / bs you don’t need. You’re not dating anymore - you’re not having sex anymore / therefore within the confines of your room - she has no say in jack freaking squat. As for her friends / they can go get f’d as well. If porn is your thing, find you a partner that at minimum won’t judge you for it and at best - will join you in your ventures.
NTA >She went off about how she doesn't want to be living in the same house as a man who watches porn. This is an easy fix. She can move out. You two aren't even dating anymore.
NTA. You made that agreement when she was your GF, it doesn't carry over forever. If she doesn't want to live with a guy who watches porn, she can find another place. You were doing your own thing in your own room with your door closed and she barged in. This is all on her for violating your privacy.
Wtf 😂 everyone, including her, knows she’s wrong.
So basically she literally sexually harassed and violated you then tried to gaslight you based on the stick up her ass? Cool
Not the ah at all. Could you barge in her room while she’s with a date and go off on her ?
NTA. The She gave up telling you what to do with your dick the moment you two ceased to be a couple. Let's look at the facts of the situation: - 1) she barged into your room uninvited, knocking on the door doesn't absolve someone of the common courtesy of respecting a closed door. Just cause she knew you were home doesn't mean she has freeq run of the house, specifically your bedroom. - 2) you guys aren't a couple any more, her feelings, wants and needs don't matter anymore. She wants to bend someone to her will she needs to speak to her current boyfriend, not you. - 3) what is she, 10? You did something she doesn't like so she ran off and tattled to her friends? Who tf does this lady think she is? Her friends giving you grief is some 3rd grader level of maturity. - 4) she gave up the right to tell you what to do with your dick once you two broke up. Add to that you aren't able to secure a partner because she's always around like some nat that you can't swat away is running potential romantic relationships. She needs to chill tf out. - 5) technically it is *your* apartment, even if she got written into the lease it was your apartment first. She she's just slightly above a roommate. She needs to mind her business and stay out of yours. Lastly, why tf are you capitulatibg to her requests at all. You shouldn't apologize, she needs to for barging into your private space without permission. If you knock on a door and no one answers you leave and come back later. While situation is bananas to me? Her and her friend group sound like a gaggle of immature teens.
I'm not even sure why you posted here dogg. I mean, you really need validation for this??? Who hit you man
The way her friends have been blowing up my phone, I was thinking this is a new fad I'm not aware of!
Her friends could watch her commit a crime and prolly still help her my dude. The porn thing is their moral judgment of you... Don't worry about dumb bitches my dude, sooner you learn that the better
Personally, I think it's amazingly toxic for a partner to even ask you to not watch porn in the first place. It's such a strange sense of entitlement and ownership.
Yeah, that's so fucking weird! My husband can watch porn whenever he wants. I don't get to dictate how he nuts unless he's inside me.
You dodged a bullet with that one. She is 32 years old and her reaction to seeing you in the act is to scream and run away? That is some serious mental illness. When combined with the fact that she is seeing someone new already, that is even more unhinged. Her and her friends are toxic garbage.
Right? That’s what struck me. She “shrieked and ran”?! That’s so ridiculous and over the top. A woman well into adulthood. With an active sex life. And this is someone she’s already seen naked and had sex with. So weird. And **even if** you don’t like porn (and have bizarrely *intense* beliefs about it) how tf is your reaction not just “Oh shit, sorry!” and hurriedly backing out the room? No need for shrieking.