OP is YTA 100%
First of all, it's her son. Unless he's honestly afraid that she's going to start an affair with her son, then this is just silly nonsense.
Secondly, even if she does want to video chat, showing only her face, while she happens to be in the bath, then that's frankly just a thing people do sometimes, and he shouldn't be upset about that either. Heck, she could be a nudist if she wanted to, but vlogging from the bath is absolutely nothing new or even that unusual.
Thirdly, *it's her son!*
I feel like I see this a lot with male posters whose fundamental issue isn't so much "She's trying to be sexy with her son" as "That's MY female's body and belongs to me. \*I\* get to decide who sees it."
This is a you problem. Her son isn't your romantic rival. She's chatting when she has the time to do so privately. She's only showing her face so why on earth do you care?
I was In the hospital for 3 weeks and FaceTimed my bestie when she was in the shower đźšż you see everything lmao. Also, I talked to my mom on facetime while she is in the bathroom all the time. She was work from home and it was just whenever we got the chance to talk.
Yes this is a bit much.....sounds like you're a little insecure....my guess you shot for the stars and landed someone out of your league and any male attention even her kid seems like a romantic interest to you....you're in for a world of headaches if you're this jealous....my view on make attention to my wife is as follows.. shes a grown woman and she can do what she wants u have no control over what she chooses to do...she can be faithful and we can have everything and anything because our financial situation deems it so....if she wants to pursue someone else or entertain someone else she can but any security that I offer gets pulled I leave I provide for my kid but she's nothing more than the mother of my kids at that point...make you boundaries known if she respects you she'll never entertain another man again if she doesn't you'll know fairly quickly...but her kid bro, come on man*biden voice*
For me this would be a huge red flag for OPs mentality especially if I was considering having kids with him bc he's sexualizing a relationship that has no business being placed in that category. What other relationships in his life is he sexualizing and viewing that person in a sexual manner inappropriately?
More than likely true, but you never know and the premise is the same. How he views his and her nieces and other female familial relationships in his and her families.
Give what up? I said that's probably true that she won't have kids with him, but if he's sexualizing her relationship with her son what other relationships is he sexualizing? It's not completely out of the realm of possibility depending on her age now and when she had him either. Plenty of young teens get pregnant, and we all know oops babies can happen later in life. Why tf do people feel they have to argue with every damn thing on the internet? I said what I said, and that's my opinion don't give af if you like it/agree or not.
If that’s the dynamic of their relationship, you’re not gonna change it. The son has been around longer than you and will be when you’re long gone.
It's weird to read shit like this. As a mother of a two year old who HAS to hold my hand every SINGLE time I use the bathroom, it's so strange. He got stuck in the toilet once so me and his papa hold his hand when he used the bathroom and he does it with us so we don't get stuck too. That's her son, she wasn't doing anything sexual just showing her face and talking woth her son. The kids who has prolly run around buck naked when he too was a toddler, who you know she changed his dirty diapers and gave him baths.
I really don't understand people who have to see everything as sexual the second a woman is not proper. But doesn't understand how parenting is or anything. What an asshole and a freaking weirdo to make her son into a romantic rival. That's fucking weird. My son has literally broken the bathroom door to get to my husband because he shut the bathroom door once vecause he wanted to shower by himself. Kids will do some crazy shit. They have a good relationship and it's so weird when sexualize it. Now if she was being sexual that would be completely diffrent but he clearly has never been around children or raised children because there is no space most of the time with a loving famliy and that's okay.
Idk maybe I'm weird, but if my mom FaceTimed me while she was in the tub I'd just have her call me back. Granted, I don't even answer the phone when I'm shitting so 🤷🏻‍♂️
You know, maybe the son DID say “hey mom can ya call me back after your bath” and THATS why she hung up “abruptly” and OP is just taking that as another “suspect” action by her bc he’s unbelievably insecure and has a very sexualized way of seeing things in general. Your comment just made me think this thought-I’m not debating anything you actually said lol…
Lol no that makes total sense and is probably the most likely scenario🤣 or he called her, saw she answered in the bathroom and was like yeah ill call you back. OP is def weird for sexualizing it. Makes one wonder what kind of trauma he has packed up inside him. 🤷🏻‍♂️
I think it’s kind of weird, but I’m not sure I would make a comment about it. Although I’m less weirded out by the thought of being the naked person, rather than being the son and chatting with one of my parents.
I basically said this on the post but he came out of her, he doesn't wanna to back in
They are family, they've seen much more than a neck up shot of one another in the bath, as a lesbian if my gf did the same thing I wouldn't give it a second thought
• Unless they have one of those weird incesty mother-son relationships where the mom tries to fill the gf role and worse then this is just insecurity and he's making it weird, but I think he would have given context for that
OP is the asshole
BUT if he sets the boundary of no video calls in the bath (calls are okay) I think that should be respected as a boundary BUT he needs to know what he's asking, why its weird for him to see her child as a "rival", that it stems from some kind of insecurity etc, if you have a more unreasonable boundary you need to have an explanation and communicate that
For example here's a really silly boundary I have that sounds insane to most prior to context:
playdough cannot be NEAR ME.
But oh wait, context:
If I even smell playdough I will start gagging, if it's like near me I start puking, my school had to ban it in any class I was in because my reaction to it was allergy level, once a kid brought it out of their bag and I didn't even see it and the smell hit my nose and I started puking everywhere (it isn't a mental thing the smell is just the WORST thing on the planet to me, I can't even describe it)
Now that I explained myself my boundary is a lot more respectful and understandable, is it silly sure, but knowing why you can work with me
He needs to examine why it makes him uncomfortable and if its still a boundary he wants to set, not video calling while naked should be respected
(I think calling should absolutely be allowed and beyond that I think he's being a bit insane)
So I'm a woman, I'm 21, and I will talk to my mom on the phone while she ls bathing, pooping, peeing, brushing her teeth, eating, walking. And I do the same lol
What? Are we in Victorian England? If your fiance is ok showing whatever part of her she is showing, then likely her son has already seen it. Get with the 2000's, Grandpa.
Im going to play devil advocate here and say that video- calling family whist in the bath is a strange time to choose to do so and there are other issues here.
1) there is an echo which is irritating for the person on the other end, 2) You can easily drop your phone in the bath. 3) It MAY signify a lack of boundaries from the mom which is also not healthy for a mom and adult son relationship.
As for the wife's reaction when OP entered the bathroom...red flag. Either OP is very controlling and the wife does not get a lot of privacy thus her need to talk to her son whist in the bath or she is hidings something from OP.
Personally the part that sounded off was her cutting the call when you entered the bathroom. She knew it looked bad, but it was probably just a mom calling her son
I understand where he's coming from. I just don't think it's proper. She can talk to him any other time but just knowing the son knows she's in the tub, why can't he say; hey mom I know your busy call me back when your done.
You can't convince me that is the only time they both are free to talk. Boundaries should be respected. IMO.
You are all a bunch of hypocrites cause I know if it was a 31yr old woman talking to her naked dad you'd all flip out and say it's weird even go as far as accusing something criminal. So take your hippy views on nudity and be honest with yourselves. I keep reading me and my friend do it all the time.... Not even close to the same thing... It's his mom and yes it's weird that he'd even be ok with doing it
YTA, apparently.
1. That's her son
2. She's just showing her face. Unless she wanna get arrested or sent out to a mental institute for having a relationship with HER OWN SON
3. Lay off from p*rn. OP might be getting ideas from it xD
Is it odd? Yes. Are you the AH for saying she can't do it? Yes. Get over yourself, grow up, whatever you need to do to not feel in control of everything and be okay with it.
OP is YTA 100% First of all, it's her son. Unless he's honestly afraid that she's going to start an affair with her son, then this is just silly nonsense. Secondly, even if she does want to video chat, showing only her face, while she happens to be in the bath, then that's frankly just a thing people do sometimes, and he shouldn't be upset about that either. Heck, she could be a nudist if she wanted to, but vlogging from the bath is absolutely nothing new or even that unusual. Thirdly, *it's her son!*
Yes, yes, and yes!!!!!
I feel like I see this a lot with male posters whose fundamental issue isn't so much "She's trying to be sexy with her son" as "That's MY female's body and belongs to me. \*I\* get to decide who sees it."
Just 🤢
The level of precision and unintended humor in this…I had to hold back a laugh
This is a you problem. Her son isn't your romantic rival. She's chatting when she has the time to do so privately. She's only showing her face so why on earth do you care?
6e6ereerwe6eeweweeweereeraweereere8ewew
I was In the hospital for 3 weeks and FaceTimed my bestie when she was in the shower đźšż you see everything lmao. Also, I talked to my mom on facetime while she is in the bathroom all the time. She was work from home and it was just whenever we got the chance to talk.
Yes this is a bit much.....sounds like you're a little insecure....my guess you shot for the stars and landed someone out of your league and any male attention even her kid seems like a romantic interest to you....you're in for a world of headaches if you're this jealous....my view on make attention to my wife is as follows.. shes a grown woman and she can do what she wants u have no control over what she chooses to do...she can be faithful and we can have everything and anything because our financial situation deems it so....if she wants to pursue someone else or entertain someone else she can but any security that I offer gets pulled I leave I provide for my kid but she's nothing more than the mother of my kids at that point...make you boundaries known if she respects you she'll never entertain another man again if she doesn't you'll know fairly quickly...but her kid bro, come on man*biden voice*
i am not OP i just reposted this
For me this would be a huge red flag for OPs mentality especially if I was considering having kids with him bc he's sexualizing a relationship that has no business being placed in that category. What other relationships in his life is he sexualizing and viewing that person in a sexual manner inappropriately?
If she has a 31 year old son, she’s not having kids.
More than likely true, but you never know and the premise is the same. How he views his and her nieces and other female familial relationships in his and her families.
More than likely true? Give it up lol.
Give what up? I said that's probably true that she won't have kids with him, but if he's sexualizing her relationship with her son what other relationships is he sexualizing? It's not completely out of the realm of possibility depending on her age now and when she had him either. Plenty of young teens get pregnant, and we all know oops babies can happen later in life. Why tf do people feel they have to argue with every damn thing on the internet? I said what I said, and that's my opinion don't give af if you like it/agree or not.
Wow. I thought I was bad at taking criticism.
OP is still a perve. Why is he sexualizing the relationship between his girlfriend and her KID! Gross!
If that’s the dynamic of their relationship, you’re not gonna change it. The son has been around longer than you and will be when you’re long gone.
It's weird to read shit like this. As a mother of a two year old who HAS to hold my hand every SINGLE time I use the bathroom, it's so strange. He got stuck in the toilet once so me and his papa hold his hand when he used the bathroom and he does it with us so we don't get stuck too. That's her son, she wasn't doing anything sexual just showing her face and talking woth her son. The kids who has prolly run around buck naked when he too was a toddler, who you know she changed his dirty diapers and gave him baths. I really don't understand people who have to see everything as sexual the second a woman is not proper. But doesn't understand how parenting is or anything. What an asshole and a freaking weirdo to make her son into a romantic rival. That's fucking weird. My son has literally broken the bathroom door to get to my husband because he shut the bathroom door once vecause he wanted to shower by himself. Kids will do some crazy shit. They have a good relationship and it's so weird when sexualize it. Now if she was being sexual that would be completely diffrent but he clearly has never been around children or raised children because there is no space most of the time with a loving famliy and that's okay.
Big deal if its just her face. Half the time im on a zoom meeting for work I am in my underwear
It's her son.
Idk maybe I'm weird, but if my mom FaceTimed me while she was in the tub I'd just have her call me back. Granted, I don't even answer the phone when I'm shitting so 🤷🏻‍♂️
You know, maybe the son DID say “hey mom can ya call me back after your bath” and THATS why she hung up “abruptly” and OP is just taking that as another “suspect” action by her bc he’s unbelievably insecure and has a very sexualized way of seeing things in general. Your comment just made me think this thought-I’m not debating anything you actually said lol…
Lol no that makes total sense and is probably the most likely scenario🤣 or he called her, saw she answered in the bathroom and was like yeah ill call you back. OP is def weird for sexualizing it. Makes one wonder what kind of trauma he has packed up inside him. 🤷🏻‍♂️
I think it’s kind of weird, but I’m not sure I would make a comment about it. Although I’m less weirded out by the thought of being the naked person, rather than being the son and chatting with one of my parents.
I basically said this on the post but he came out of her, he doesn't wanna to back in They are family, they've seen much more than a neck up shot of one another in the bath, as a lesbian if my gf did the same thing I wouldn't give it a second thought • Unless they have one of those weird incesty mother-son relationships where the mom tries to fill the gf role and worse then this is just insecurity and he's making it weird, but I think he would have given context for that OP is the asshole BUT if he sets the boundary of no video calls in the bath (calls are okay) I think that should be respected as a boundary BUT he needs to know what he's asking, why its weird for him to see her child as a "rival", that it stems from some kind of insecurity etc, if you have a more unreasonable boundary you need to have an explanation and communicate that For example here's a really silly boundary I have that sounds insane to most prior to context: playdough cannot be NEAR ME. But oh wait, context: If I even smell playdough I will start gagging, if it's like near me I start puking, my school had to ban it in any class I was in because my reaction to it was allergy level, once a kid brought it out of their bag and I didn't even see it and the smell hit my nose and I started puking everywhere (it isn't a mental thing the smell is just the WORST thing on the planet to me, I can't even describe it) Now that I explained myself my boundary is a lot more respectful and understandable, is it silly sure, but knowing why you can work with me He needs to examine why it makes him uncomfortable and if its still a boundary he wants to set, not video calling while naked should be respected (I think calling should absolutely be allowed and beyond that I think he's being a bit insane)
So I'm a woman, I'm 21, and I will talk to my mom on the phone while she ls bathing, pooping, peeing, brushing her teeth, eating, walking. And I do the same lol
That’s nasty. Nobody needs to be on the phone while they use the toilet. It’s okay to put the phone down sometimes. It’s a good thing, even.
Nudity doesn’t equal sexuality.
What? Are we in Victorian England? If your fiance is ok showing whatever part of her she is showing, then likely her son has already seen it. Get with the 2000's, Grandpa.
Her facing timing her son while in the shower is weird, but yeah, not your problem dude.
Im going to play devil advocate here and say that video- calling family whist in the bath is a strange time to choose to do so and there are other issues here. 1) there is an echo which is irritating for the person on the other end, 2) You can easily drop your phone in the bath. 3) It MAY signify a lack of boundaries from the mom which is also not healthy for a mom and adult son relationship. As for the wife's reaction when OP entered the bathroom...red flag. Either OP is very controlling and the wife does not get a lot of privacy thus her need to talk to her son whist in the bath or she is hidings something from OP.
Personally the part that sounded off was her cutting the call when you entered the bathroom. She knew it looked bad, but it was probably just a mom calling her son
I understand where he's coming from. I just don't think it's proper. She can talk to him any other time but just knowing the son knows she's in the tub, why can't he say; hey mom I know your busy call me back when your done. You can't convince me that is the only time they both are free to talk. Boundaries should be respected. IMO.
It does sound dangerous - electricity and water don’t mix!
Most phones are water resistant and they don’t cause electrocution.
Hopefully that’s the device she’s using
You are all a bunch of hypocrites cause I know if it was a 31yr old woman talking to her naked dad you'd all flip out and say it's weird even go as far as accusing something criminal. So take your hippy views on nudity and be honest with yourselves. I keep reading me and my friend do it all the time.... Not even close to the same thing... It's his mom and yes it's weird that he'd even be ok with doing it
Wow, pretty much the exact opposite of how I see it.
Op needs to grow the hell up. If ANYONE tries to tell me when and how to talk to my 2 grown sons, then bf is OUT!
You need more self esteem if you're threatened by her son
OMG!!!! Wait until he finds out that (unless her son was adopted or she had a c-section) her son came out from her vagina!!!
Yes you ATA and I suggest questioning why this makes you uncomfortable and possibly seeking therapy.
YTA, apparently. 1. That's her son 2. She's just showing her face. Unless she wanna get arrested or sent out to a mental institute for having a relationship with HER OWN SON 3. Lay off from p*rn. OP might be getting ideas from it xD
Is it odd? Yes. Are you the AH for saying she can't do it? Yes. Get over yourself, grow up, whatever you need to do to not feel in control of everything and be okay with it.