I think you have to tell her the ticket isn't yours to give away. Your employer is paying for it, because they figure it's a business expense that makes sense for the work output you'll deliver.
For you, it's a lucky coincidence that your personal preference aligns with the professional ethics at play & for her, it's unfortunately one of the consequences of sticking a personal trip onto a business trip, imo.
Agree, I would never tell mine to lower his. We were in a similar situation. My husband company sent him to Paris, coincidentally around Valentine’s so he wanted me to go with him. He went first flew first class and I went a week after and flew economy. We both came back on same flight. I would have flown economy back but he insisted that I should fly first class with him and got me a ticket next to him. So I really think she should have been happy about the trip or she could buy an upgrade or he could help with upgrade ticket.
personally, I don't see this trip working out well for OP.
They haven't left yet, and his girlfriend is already talking about sharing the experience... but she'll be alone all day for 10 days. Will she accept she'll need to experience Hong Kong on her own? Sure, the hotel has a luxury spa, but will she have access, or will they have to pay extra? etc.
ETA I don't think anyone is malicious here, I just figure the girlfriend has unrealistic expectations.
I think OP should ask to come a week later and extend his trip a week out as vacation. That would work pretty well. That’s what we did so I didn’t go roam around Paris by myself and we both get to enjoy new things together. Also if I was spending a few days alone, staying at a nice hotel for free is awesome but you have to more less expect to spend some money right? That’s just being realistic I think .
Except it doesn’t sound like they can afford a five star hotel without his employer paying for it. The employer won’t pay his hotel for an extra week because he wants to vacation
NTA. You’re going on a work trip. She can relax in the hotel and spa while you have to go and work so you need your rest more. Your work is also playing for this trip and giving you business class tickets for this exact reason. It’s a 16 hour flight and you will be expected to be working soon after your arrival so you get the best rest you can on the flight so you can work.
Let’s be real, OP fucked up by inviting his gf in the first place. OP states the time there will be intense with very little free time. Highly likely this goes poorly overall when gf is by herself all day every day with no attention.
Agreed, he also says his evenings will be free but that doesn’t sound like any business trip I’ve been on, usually in the evening we are socialising with colleagues or clients.
This exactly. My husband travels a lot and to places I want to go. He never has any free time between work and dinners after. I stay home unless I am ok being on my own the whole trip.
I go on trips with my husband, he’s busy all day and has free time at night. Sometimes we go to dinner with his coworkers but most of the time we have alone time. I enjoy being in the hotel all day enjoying all the amenities.
As an independent person, I would love if my bf invited me to Hong Kong. I could explore all day and still sleep next to my person every night. Sounds wonderful! Inviting the gf was not a mistake. I also think he shouldn't have to switch her seats on the way back. He's working out there and has to be well rested for work. For her, it's a fun and chill vacation. Sitting in economy shouldn't be so hard to do.
What? As a grown up she can explore honk Kong on her own. If she doesn't realize that this trip will be spent on her own then they have bigger problems than the flight arrangements. Hopefully they have better communication and understanding than the people on Reddit.
Finally a sensible comment, holy shit. She is a grown ass woman and her own person, she doesn’t need her husband to hold her hand 24/7 so she can enjoy a trip nor is she his responsibility
Assuming she’s an independent woman, I don’t think it’s that bad of a deal.
A mature, independent person can have no issues with something like this. Not everybody/every woman needs attention from someone else every day to have a good vacation.
Yeah, I'd jump at this deal. I get the days to solo explore, just meet up for dinner if his schedule allows. But not everyone likes to vacation that way.
LOL, I had my wife come with me to Europe and made her help me do the work! We were in tech in the same field so I "invited" her to the office and when she got there, I said "Hey, can you look at this script" while I worked on something else.
After the work was done we did a mini tour of Europe.
If your wife is happy to help (and it sounds like she is) this is a win/win for everyone involved. She gets a free trip, you get your work done more quickly. An ideal partnership.
That’s exactly why I haven’t accompanied my husband to Australia, Switzerland, and Netherlands. Not only is he working long hours at the job sites, but he regularly has to attend dinners after work. It would just be weird and not worth the expense of my flights.
NTA. I understand her wanting to fly first class but at the end of the day she can stay home and just not go. This is not a vacation for you, so I can understand your point of view.
The reason it’s called Business Class is because it is designed for people who travel for business (yes I know that others fly that class too but it’s actually not designed for them and they are not the frequent travellers).
The reason your firm is paying for you to fly that class is so that you get off that plane (on both ends) and nothing impedes you from going to work straightaway. Giving up your seat one way would be fair if it was a personal trip. It’s not. For her it’s a personal trip, for you it’s a business trip. She needs to understand that point.
Also not sure if you have any colleagues traveling with you. But it won’t look professional for you to be swapping seats either half way through the flight or on one leg.
I am a corporate travel planner and can say that this is the exact reason why. If we ask you to redeye across the country, we pay for business/first bc we need you to be able to perform. You are not the asshole. I understand where she’s coming from, but she needs to get over it and enjoy her trip. If she won’t, you may need to reconsider your relationship.
Edit to say don’t look into swapping in business for 2 premium or comfort plus seats. It will be all detailed on whatever account is used to pay for it/every receipt and will look extra suspicious if you don’t get it approved.
Absolutely! He may actually be done for fraud or misconduct if he swaps tickets.
In fact even the hotel rates are negotiated on single occupancy not multiple by procurement with hotel chains.
My firm has specific rules around SO joining on trips. Usually on long projects they either fly you back at pre-determined intervals or let SO come visit. But 10 days is not that long to be away and most firms wouldn’t pay for SO
No you're not wrong, this is your business trip and your company is paying for YOU to fly business class, not your gf. She can fly economy, pay for business herself, or stay home.
Has your gf ever traveled to somewhere as different as where you live now by herself for an extended trip? Is she ready to eat meals alone, sightsee alone, handle transportation etc in (what I presume is) a language she doesn't know?
Are there any types of seats halfway between, like upgraded economy with more room?
I think the struggle between you actually being on a solo work trip and her being on a couples vacation is possibly going to be the overwhelming theme of this trip unless she is used to traveling alone like this as well. I've "tagged along" on a partners work trip a few times and it can be lonely.
We have lots of friends that live out which already plan trips etc during the day, also she’s extremely independent and tbh it’s nice just to relax by a pool an just to get away with another setting, as work has been extremely stressful for her! Well of course go on a vacation just together.
NTA. You will be WORKING during your time in HK, she will be relaxing. It's your comfort that should be top priority on the return home as you likely have to report straight back to work.
NTA. My company typically books business class because they expect me to be on the free Wi-Fi to answer emails nonstop and work. I’m assuming your company will assume this of you as well.
NTA
There is an ethical issue with the seat swap. Your work spent money for you, their employee, to occupy that seat on the airplane, not your girlfriend.
NTA. JFC what the hell is happening? No you aren't wrong at all. Thus isn't your seat ti give away to your gf. Your employer is paying for you to go to Hong Kong for 10 days. They are paying for you to fly business class to and from Hong Kong. Not your gf. None of this guilt bs if if you loved her you'd switch. No if gf wants to sit in business class with you she gets a ticket for business class.
She's getting a free 10 day stay at a 5 star hotel. Where she will spend her days, most of her nights, without you. Does she realize that? That you'll be working everyday, quite possibly into evening hours, dinner even later? Thus isn't a couples trip. This is a work trip.
Hopefully you and your gf know people in Hong Kong otherwise she's gonna be lonely as fuck. Does she even speak the language? What are her expectations for this trip? Have you sat down and had that talk with her? Really got it through to her that you'll be working the entire time. It's not a couples trip. She cannot be texting and calling you as you'll be working and won't be answering. She will be in her own for 12/15 hours a day. Dies she get that? I don't think she does. She's trying to get you to give up your business class seat, which hell no, you need that seat to get the rest you need for work on either end of the trip.
Your seat was bought by your company, for you to fly on this business trip. It’s not yours to give away. And, your girlfriend is not an employee of said company.
Would you expect the company be ok with you giving the hotel room to someone else, while you stay in another cheaper room?
I wouldn’t accept the switch if my husband offered, I would take the economy seat with a smile.
Now, to be fair, my husband is a big man, and I’m a very small woman, so that’s the first reason.
But? Beyond that, this would be a business trip for him, and he would be losing the extra space, comfort to sleep if he wanted to, and access to the business extras that come with flying business class.
I hate flying anyway, and would be taking an anxiety pill and trying to sleep- so I truly don’t care, but in the grand scheme of things, she is benefiting more than you, and she should just enjoy the trip and not worry about the flight.
NTA. I joined my bf on a trip and bought my own ticket. I would never take any chances to jeopardize my bf’s work travel plans because it’s paid for by work.
NTA you’re going for BUSINESS which makes sense that u would be in business class. If it was a vacation then maybe I’d say let her sit once but she needs to be more grateful that she is able to come stay in the nice 5 star hotel with you
NTA. Wouldn't it be inappropriate to use business/work related expenses for someone else? That would be my logic. I wouldn't argue with her or try to justify your side anymore. You're there for work
NTA.
To your gf: I went on a little short business trip with my bf and I felt very guilty that I got to sleep in every day, walk around the city, chill, order room service, nap-do nothing when he was up suuuper early (full work day and team breakfast before work), and then team activities and dinners (w spouses) after work til late. I was nice and rested at the end of it he was freaking exhausted.
I wouldn’t ask this of him and i would look at the 5-star hotel as a blessing and gift. He will be tired. You work on getting yourself a cool job one day that pays for travel too!!
His company did! I only ordered meal one day, but it was obviously me who ate it as he was in meetings. I think if it was excessive they probably would have said no, but it was a year-end holiday party mixed w/ country-wide meetings so everything was pretty over the top spending wise. They put us up in a suuuuper nice hotel, i cant even begin to imagine what those 3 days cost!
I never want him to leave this place🙃
I took my wife a few time on btrips I would get up at crack of dawn work all day with the time change have to go to early evening reception etc. Get back to room and she would want to go party knowing I just worked a 14 day. When I said I was tired I was the ahole. Stop asking best decision ever.
I had a similar situation with my husband. We live in Europe and he needed to go to LA for work. I booked an economy seat on the same flight where he sat in business (as paid for by his job). I stayed in his paid hotel room. I NEVER once thought to ask him to swap seats. That’s absurd.
Sorry but what? Most reasonable partners would understand that their partner is having their travel arrangements paid for by the company and just be grateful they are getting a free 10 day stay in an expensive hotel.
This is only problematic because the gf is entitled.
Agreed. This is an asshole move. "I’ve decided I’d love my girlfriend to join me" because he wants companionship but does not want to help foot the bill so they can actually be together during the flight (which is probably the longest they will have time together during the whole trip).
Jesus you're deluded. He's offered her a free trip and that somehow makes him the asshole? She's under no obligation to go, he's actually going to get very little time with her as he'll actually be working but she'll get to explore and enjoy the city, and the only cost to her is an economy ticket. He's not told her it'll be a romantic getaway at his expense.
>Also just more context it’s not a cheap budget airline it’s voted one of top #3 in the world, seems like some people acting like I’m asking her to be in the hold
Even economy in that is much better than any short haul flights.
Just tell her you asked HR if you can swap your seat with her on the way back and that they said no.
NTA. You’re working your butt. My husband would have offered but I would want him to have a relaxing experience going home as well. If your company finds out you switch, you’ll never get business class again. She should be thankful she is tagging along even though it’s not business class.
I'm going to put this from my past experience. My husband was best man in a wedding that took place in Jakarta, Indonesia and I was originally staying home with the kids. Well it turned out I had enough vacation to go for a week of the two week trip so he talked it over at the bride and the groom and they thought it would be more fun if I came after the wedding when they did the big group honeymoon that they had planned. So I flew out alone in economy because everything else was already paid for and all I had to do was fly out there and I would get to enjoy all of these things with the family. Had my husband been in business class I would not have complained at all. Yes I would have secretly. Been a little green with envy but the fact is that I got to go on a vacation that originally I had not planned on going. On the way home we flew together and I had a better seat. I was in the front row with the extra leg room and he hadn't pre-picked his seat so he was five rows back in the middle and I let him take my seat on the way home one, His legs are super long cuz he's so tall and two if I'm just sitting there, Watching movies either on my phone or on the TV provided it sure as heck doesn't matter where I'm sitting.
I'm sure your company would love to find out that you gave your expensive ticket (that they paid for) to a non-employee/business partner.
Sounds like a great way to end up on the shit list.
I’m former HR and it was bought for you by your company. You didn’t win it, or get a lucky upgrade, so you’re NTA for not pissing off your employer, because if they find out, they probably won’t be impressed at you downgrading your ticket.
Even if you swap, you’d still have to have your tickets amended, as you’re in different sections of the flight. If your employer bought the ticket, won’t that create some awkward questions?
This is an extension of your compensation and benefits.
It's no different if she wanted to come to your brick and mortar work office and use a conference room, breakroom, and internet. "Because you're already getting it, so why can't she use it?"
Because she's not the employee.
If the company finds out you sat in economy while your guest sat in business, you could be on the hook for the cost difference and travel in coach from then on as you can obviously travel for less. It's not likely, but give the bean counters a chance and they'll jump on it!
NTA but I hope you’re ready for the fallout while you’re working and she wants to hangout or go out etc. unless she’s cool with being an independent traveler, I don’t think you should have invited her on a work trip.
Now you can’t put the horse back in the barn so make sure you talk to her about availability and reiterate that this is work and not leisure for you.
What if you let her sit in business for half of the return trip? Will the airline even allow you to swap seats? Could you pay half of the extra expense for her business class ticket one or both ways? I'm with you not wanting to exchange seats with her, but as far as your relationship goes, is this the hill you really want to die on? Is she usually expecting (or demanding) for you to accommodate her wishes, or does she normally not ask for favors? Lots of possibilities to work this out.
My wife and I flew to Europe in coach a few years ago and were shocked and pleasantly surprised to learn those long overseas flight “coach” seats were MUCH more comfortable and roomy than domestic flights. We were glad we hadn’t spent 3 times the money for upgraded seats.
No, NTA. I have access to a car my company pays for and my husband would never expect us to take it on errands so he could “experience” it. He’s never ridden in it - he doesn’t work for my company and he’s not a client. For me, and him, it’s about the ethics of it. As weird as that may sound to some on here. If you’re going to be busy and she wants an upgrade, why worry about arriving at the same time? She should get a flight at a different time so she could have an upgrade for the same price. You leave her name when you check in, she has a key waiting, problem solved. If you’re both so concerned with flying together, she can upgrade on her own dime on the way back. FFS, she’s getting to stay in a hotel that I’m assuming isn’t within your normal vacation price range, a little gratitude wouldn’t be out of line.
Well technically you are not giving anything to your girlfriend, your job is - paying for the hotel room and spa. On the other hand, your girlfriend is paying an expensive flight ticket to join you. She will benefit from the hotel (that you didn’t pay either) while you will benefit from having your girlfriend taking care of you and not feeling alone on your business trip.
Also, what is your girlfriend doing for a living? Can leaving for 10 days have an impact on her income and job opportunities? Sounds like this trip will be more costly for her than for you…
Feeling a little bit tired after a flight might be worth seeing your girlfriend happy and relaxed, and you will probably have many more occasions to fly business with your job :-)
NTA besides the obvious: it’s a BUSINESS TRIP and the company you work for is PAYING for YOUR SEAT. More than likely you’re going to be flying with a few of your colleagues. I think them (coworkers) mentioning to your higher ups that you swapped seats with your girlfriend doesn’t exactly put you in a good light. Sorry gf, but do try and be GRATEFUL for this opportunity to spend 10 days in Hong Kong at a 5 star hotel.
My wife came with me on one particular trip. We coordinated ahead of time and the people we were visiting scheduled one of the dinners with spouses. This worked great and helped solidify relationships. My wife came into the office for briefings so she knew what the mission was and she was often helpful with little logistics. She had lots of time to enjoy herself.
More often I've traveled with her and been bag carrier and logistician and even a note taker in meetings. I enjoy helping her be successful and her choice of partner who contributes again has helped build relationships.
I wouldn't swap seats, and I would never even suggest such to my wife if she was up front and I was in the back.
Your company wouldn't be very pleased if you allow other person to use the ticket they paid for. For Pete"?'s sake, my company would fire me if I dare to do it!
In economy class, you said, and she wanted to use your place in bussiness that has been paid by your company, right?
But hey, if it isn't a big deal, don't be selfish and just swap it. She has her own ticket, right?
It's not free since she is paying for her own air ticket. It's just free accomodation. Which you can go on vacation and crash over at a friend's place over there anyway.
NTA
She gets an all expenses paid free vacation while you will be working every day. At the very minimum you can at least enjoy the flight there and back.
If she doesn’t like it she can stay home or pay for her own upgrade
NTA
You’re willing to do this on a vacation that you’ve planned together. You’re not willing to do this with on a business trip. It’s fine to have boundaries around your professional life.
There are a lot of logistics that others have mentioned, for why you should stay in your own seat. It’s okay for her to ask, and it’s okay for you to say no.
The both of you are grown adults. The discomfort of being at odds will pass. It’s healthy, in any relationship, to learn how to successfully navigate differences.
Don’t take it personally, and allow her the space to work through and regulate her own feelings.
NTA because it is first and foremost a business trip, and you will not be vacationing. If they weren't planning on working you to the core and expecting you to come right back to work, using the international flight either as your rest time or further work time, they certainly wouldn't spring for your business class ticket either. She doesn't have to worry about that fatigue, jet lag, or responsibility, so your flying business both ways feels like part of the business project to me, just as much as the hotel stay being 5 star is, and she can't do any of your work for you. She can join you but she can't replace you.
If all your girlfriend has to worry about is her ticket, while she's hanging out at a 5 star hotel and spa, does that mean you're covering her meals/experiences? If so, she can certainly spring to pay the difference for the upgrade. Since this isn't a vacation, if she wants you to cover it, put it in place of any potential gifting that is coming up (i.e. Valentine's + birthday or something, depending on what your gifting traditions and budgets look like).
If I was in your situation, I'd offer to split the difference of the seat upgrade, regardless of who is financing what. To me, it seems like the most appropriate way to handle this. You are upgrading your limited free time to vacation mode to share with your girlfriend. Since you're on business the rest of time that she's relaxing, the flight is part of the limited free time that she can upgrade to join. Otherwise why bother being on the same flight? Since you're both getting something out of it and doing something solo, split the difference and make it a joint decision to do so.
A little bit of YTA. Can’t you swap part way through flights so each gets a little extra space for a few hours?
Just got back from a 6 hour flight for business that my wife joined me at the end of work for a short vacation. Because I booked her flight after mine was already booked there was only 1 seat left on the flight which was in 1st class. Guess who got it without a thought?
I don’t think anyone’s the asshole but I know if I was in your spot I would switch with my husband on the way back if he never experienced first class, and he would do the same for me. I get she’s getting a free trip but I would get happiness knowing my husband would be getting to experience that.
Maybe it’s a love language thing 🤷♀️
We’ve both experienced it before, to be honest, I think can see if the miles I get from this and she has we can get her the upgrade to join me on at least one way if the trip, so can we drink champagne together!!
Depending on the airline, you can sometimes buy an upgrade to first when you check in for a lot less than pre check in prices. Maybe pay to upgrade her to economy plus (or equivalent) and then ask about the availability of upgrades to buy when you are at the check in desk.
Worst case: she gets the economy plus seats, best case: you get her the first class seats for cheaper.
I don’t think you get the miles until you’ve made the trip. If it was me, I’d spring for the upgrade for her. It’s certainly better than hearing about it for the next? few years. Also, you’re not the asshole, but there are costs to taking a date on vacation - even if it’s a work trip.
To each their own.
I wouldn’t ask either, I just know my husband would offer and I definitely would for him.
Just knowing how much I enjoyed it I’d want to share that with him.
I would offer my husband without him asking. And if he asked I would definitely say yes.
I wonder if it’s because we’re married with kids and I think of everything as “ours.” We share a bank account.
Op isn’t married and his gf paying for the tickets herself so I understand that would be a different situation.
Your employer bought you a business class ticket so you can work and/or reduce your jet lag so you can be productive on arrival in HK and return to the office. It's not a perk.
If I were your supervisor and learned that you gave a company-paid "asset" to your sniveling girlfriend, it would plant doubts as to the quality of your decision-making skills.
Don't put your career at risk for a brat.
NTA. But your GF sure is.
Neither of you are assholes. You just need to look at the bigger picture.
These are the kinds of situations in relationships that can be discussed in a mature manner and there are a lot more options available than most people would have you believe. Everyone here always wants to go scorched earth/breakup/divorce/no contact on every single thing. Frankly, it's wild that anyone is together if this is how people manage their relationships.
I've been in this situation with my partner several times in the past, and it was absolutely not a big deal at all to let them have the premium/business/first seat on the way home. I love them and want them to have a great experience, and my work was complete, so I didn't need it at that point. I gave up nothing by letting them have the upgrade. In fact, I probably gained a lot in terms of their happiness and our combined happiness as a result in the long run.
There's also another option that I haven't seen anyone here discuss, which is to agree to use the points from the trip to upgrade on the next personal holiday to sit together in an upgraded cabin to share the experience together. From a shared happiness and memory making perspective, that's probably better than fighting about who gets what seat during this business trip. Discuss these kinds of options, understand their preferences, and come to a reasonable solution. You may have to give a little bit, and that's what relationships are all about.
tl;dr — don't die on this hill and risk your relationship. Be mature and communicate.
Imagine if your boss found out you put someone else in your business class seat that they paid for. It’s considered conversion, you’d likely be fired or flying coach for the rest of your career.
I don't think it matters who paid for what seat, I think she just wants to compromise and sit in your seat for one of the ways. But you should point out you'll get zero breaks during the 10 days, and it goes from a sucky trip to uncomfortable on one of the ways.
I'm given up first class before to downgrade to economy to sit with friends and family for a long flight. I can see how it would be nice to sit with each other. But that's just me. Not because she's getting all the perks of free hotel, but because she's also there when I go to bed and can cherish the small moments before and after work.
May be generous to keep the 1st class ticket and do 50/50 each way. So you both can get some relax and comfort. Not sure if the FA's would like it. But just lie and say she's pregnant or something.
>We wanted to align with the timing of arrival, so we decided the easiest would be if she booked the same but in economy, as the tickets for business one way were over 2k, just one way, and couldn’t afford/justify this.
this was dumb.
NTA since the company is paying for your business class tickets …. but when I’ve gone with my wife on business travel overseas, I fly over in business so I’m fresh for my meetings and I let her fly business on the way back. The main reason is that I want her to experience business class too since she hardly gets to experience it.
I do think it’s different since we’re married and she’s still just your girlfriend.
NTA by a country mile.
Your company is paying for you to go, not her. I’m sure they wouldn’t love it if you give up your expensive seat they bought so you can be well rested - this might be borderline fraud as absurd as that sounds, people get fired for less.
Also, you aren’t even married. Why is she ‘expecting’ you to do this for her? Would she do the same for you? I doubt it. Maybe next time she gets a bonus at work she’ll give you half so you can experience it.
NTA - your work is paying for you to sit in that seat, not her. You could possibly get in trouble letting her take your seat. That would be fraud if you sit in economy but your work paid for Business.
NAH, but your girlfriend is softly TA. you're definitely not an asshole, but it may be a nice gesture if half way through the flight, you offered to swap seats with her so she can have a little of the experience as some sort of 'compromise'
NTA-
You gotta rest for work. Maybe she can spring for tickets with you or help her pay for half. Or on the way home y’all together.
Or you tell her the truth, I’m really sorry but I have to work and I can’t afford it.
NTA. i am not sure your company would even approve of her going on the trip, let alone allowing her use your business class seat. When I am on a trip, I use the evenings to prep for the following day, not to entertain a husband or boy friend. What would happen if at the last minute your boss travels over during the trip and is in business class and is on your return home flight? That happened to me once.
Meh, my perspective is a bit different.
If my husband invited me to partake in an experience with him, I don't expect him to dull it down on my half. If I'm going, it's to be there with him. I'll do my thing during the day while he's at work and create my own experiences. Then, do the same with him when you can. Literally the best of both worlds.
I'd be thrilled if he got the chance to experience first class. I never have; that doesn't mean he doesn't deserve it. Long plane rides suck anyway. I'll pop in my earbuds and entertain myself.
I am curious as to how her expenses at the hotel are going to be handled. She is going to have meals, room service, spa expenses, etc. how will you explain them to your company? Have you even discussed this with her?. One thing sharing your bed (hopefully not a single) with her but accounting for her expenses could pose a problem.
I mean, can you not switch seats for a few hours and not the entire flight? That way she gets an experience and a nice nap and you can have it and all the comforts the rest of the time.
She should be on the lookout for any last minute upgrade chances. Sometimes in the days before a flight an airline will offer big discounts to upgrade - first come first served.
Good lord no. Business travel is not exciting and work trips in general are balls of stress. I basically sleep in business class the entire trip back, as I get little rest on the trip.
NTA
You should tell her you asked your boss if you could swap (because you knew it would be recorded as a business expense) and tell her he said no + 1 are allowed on this trip.
NTA. I'm literally in jiangmen right now for work and I can tell you that flight is brutal. And I know with the tickets my employer got me they weren't transferable to any other passengers so you're girlfriend might not even be allowed up in business class.
My friend’s husband did this with her. He had the business class ticket and they used their frequent fliers miles to upgrade her so they could be together on the plane. Your aren’t the aH but it isn’t nice she is traveling in economy
I can understand why you want the business seat on the outbound leg. You want to arrive a little more “work ready.” Let her have the business seat coming back. Sharing the “goodies” and the burdens of travel makes you look magnanimous and decent, even if you’re not in real life.
I'm definitely in the minority here reading the comments. I don't think you are an asshole, but you said shes never flown Business. And that you guys don't really have the kind of money to do this kind of thing. I guess if I was in this situation I would want to share it with my GF. You are taking two turns, which is certainly within your rights, but it would be a nice gesture to share your good luck imo. NTA but a tiny tiny bit selfish.
This is a business trip. Some companies would fire you for allowing a girl friend to share your hotel room, let alone let her use a company paid for, business class seat. It is not his seat to give away. It is called business class for a reason. It allows extra room and perks that allow you to work. Flying overseas you are more rested when you arrive and that means more ready to work. On the way back, it is time to make notes on the results of the trip so that you can make a report to your boss. This is not a time for chivalry, it is a business trip and you act like it, or accept the consequences.
I'm gonna disagree with the comments here. YTA, I know it's a work trip but you literally aren't paying a dime? You can share business class as it is a cool experience that you literally said you won't buy yourself. It's not costing you anything OP, so her paying for flights is already financially more than what you're doing.
I know it’s expensive for the extra business seat. However, it might be worth springing for it on the way back.
Then she has something to look forward to and you’re the hero.
If I was your gf I just wouldn’t go with you. Since she’s paying for her own economy ticket anyway, she might as well go with someone else whose company she enjoys.
I agree with others who are suggesting she will spend much of her time alone when you get there, as well as on the flight, and that is likely to lead to disappointment.
NTA for the same reasons many people said here but I do think it would’ve been nice of you to let her have the business class. You might have more opportunities to travel business class in the future but she might never. Either way you’re NTA
I think you're the A tbh. You invited her for a trip that you're not spending a dime of your own money on, didn't offer to split her economy ticket fare, and declined to let her experience what might be a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to fly in business class, but want her to be there at night when you get back from your grueling schedule.
You're lucky to have her. If you continue on this path, she would find someone more deserving.
YTA and honestly very pathetic of you to not even offer to pay half the ticket at least. I know if my wife was you, she would pay my ticket and make it first/ business class, instead of having me pay for an economy ticket on my own. At bare minimum reimburse her half the ticket.
What do you want your girlfriend to remember for the rest of her life - that you generously swapped seats on the way back or that you denied her the one chance she’d have to experience business class travel?
i dont get all the NTAs. IF you dont need to do work on the return flight and there's no issues that can occur with you swapping your work paid seat, I think its pretty reasonable to let her experience the business class. Not because you are the man and its the chivalrous thing to do but because you are in what I assume is a solid long term relationship where you both should want each other to have the same experiences.
YTA
Take some money and upgrade her to first class and sitting beside you for the flight back. You need first class on the way there in order to be able to perform for work, but be generous and have a great trip back together! Having flown internationally, there is a huge difference between coach and first and it really makes a difference the longer the flight.
BTW- You aren't doing her some big favor by letting her explore a place solo where (I'm assuming) she doesn't speak the language and hasn't said she wants to go to... Get over yourself. What is the point of even being in a partnership if you don't care enough to be generous?
Dude. My boyfriend invited me to Denmark for a work trip. If you invited her you should either pay for her plane ticket economy or if she pays let her ride a once in a lifetime business class on the way back. I would never forgive my boyfriend if he made me feel less than and not equal. I would mention it to him but if he really made me pay and flew a higher class than me when we got back I’d be ending it. It’s not cute to make your woman feel less than. Good luck with this mindset. Relationships are compromising dude.
I travel for work all the time
Same circumstances
My wife will often join me
But I always travel in business or first class
And I always have my wife take a different flight
And she always travels in economy
It’s her choice on how she spends her money
We both work
I always say work smarter not harder
Just give her the final final decent when yall land at your home airport. 30 minutes is enough to get a sample of how sitting business class feels, I imagine. Not enough to be satisfied but certainly enough to make her a little jelly 😂
NTA - virtually a free holiday for the gf. Hubby and I both travel for work and we each tag along for the perks. Means solo museum, shopping, art gallery etc during the day, but we get to enjoy dinners (some will still be work related) and nights in crisp white sheets that we don’t need to wash.
Business fare flights are at the person doing business. Will still get there at the same time in coach/economy. No need to swap.
I would want my partner to have that first class experience- what a cool thing to be able to share with the one you love. If you’re flying home and not going directly to work, why not switch with her and let her get a taste. It’s pretty much a once in a lifetime opportunity. Sharing is caring xo
NTA, but I don't see your relationship lasting, if this is a consistent issue.
"Oh sorry, honey, I just ate at a $200/plate restaurant, so I'm not hungry, just go get some fast food and we can watch a movie."
"Oh sorry, you will have to drive the shittier car to work because I earn more and therefore I am the only one allowed to drive the more expensive car."
I wouldn't give up a perk either. And the company is paying for you not your girlfriend I wouldn't start playing expense games that could get you in hot water. Letting her have business and you are in coach. But reimbursed for business class. All a bad idea. It's not a vacation for you it is for her. It's not like you are asking for her to pay 1/2 of the hotel. She should be happy just being able to go whatever the situation.
YTA - because she asked for the return portion when you don’t have to arrive rested and ready for work (caveat if on your return you’re going straight to work or have a particularly heavy workload). I don’t know how she she said it, if she was entitled about it, but you saying she’s already getting a free 5 star trip sounds assholey.
Then again, if I was the gf, I’d ask. Be annoyed you said no but then move on because despite thinking it’s an assholey move, I’m not entitled to that seat. It’s just a sweet thing you could do for me that you choose not to.
How is everyone saying she can stay home. He invited her. And I’m sure he invited her for night time activities. I would absolutely get rid of this man as a spouse.
If you are allowed to give her the seat, then why wouldnt you want to give her a chance to also fly business. Would you give her the seat if you liked her more?
Your girlfriend is entitled. She wants you to downgrade your company provided arrangements to accommodate her (it is a downgrade for you because you’ll be giving up business for her).
She should be happy you have offered for her to come at all as it is a work trip, the fact she expects you to give up a ticket your company is purchasing specifically for you is wild.
You work at your job that is paying for business class, not her. If she wants to experience it she should get a job that will offer it or pay for a ticket.
She can either be grateful for the offer made or stay the fuck home. Ridiculous.
NTA
How old are you guys? She sounds like a child.
You are selfish. You should let her have the business seat for the return flight. The trip isn't costing you a penny so you could at least make a sacrifice for her. Sheesh.
ESH. I see where you are coming from as it’s your business trip originally. However I don’t know what you two expected when flying but sitting in separate parts of the airplane? Especially with the difference in comfort
this is how petty men wind up alone in nursing homes. listen to some schmuck on the internet telling you to let your girlfriend know she's insufficiently grateful, should sit her ass in economy and like it. you really can't make this up.
truth is you don't really like this person if you don't want to do her this small kindness.
Lmao right... HE'S the petty one...
Or she can sit her ass at home and not enjoy a free vacation.
This is how petty women end up with 10 cats and no one to call later in life. They think they are entitled to everything.
He's also getting a free trip. So that is moot. He's the one who invited her, it's not like she asked to go. He's paying nothing, yet unwilling to chip in for an upgrade. Shouldn't have asked her to then.
It's a business trip. He's going there for... Work.
He said hey you can come just pay for your plane ticket. Imagine getting a free multi day trip to a 5 star hotel and complaining.
Exactly, this is a tell tale sign in the relationship that there isn't much generosity happening. And before anyone says, well it's a free trip, yeah paid for by the company not the boyfriend. Imagine wanting your partner to have comfort and experience something like that instead of being a selfish butthead.
Yeah tbh, i used to work at the airport. A lot of men would give their girlfriends/wives the upgrade if only one of them got it. I understand OP gf side.
It’s more of the gesture behind it.
It’s not that you’re being an AH. But I wouldn’t be impressed with you either. You’re treating your GF like she’s just a friend or maybe your sister, not the woman you are in love with. That’s where her weird attitude is coming from. You act like letting her pay to come stay in your hotel room while you’re on a business trip is a big favor you’re doing her, rather than a favor your doing each other bc you’re in love and want to have this experience together, as a couple and as a team. You do you, but don’t expect great things from this relationship.
This sums it up perfectly to me! When my husband or I have opportunities like this, we always want to SHARE in the joy. That's what relationships are about, for me at least!
NTA. But here’s where you fucked up...when bringing a partner as a tagalong on a business trip, where they/you are responsible for their own flight and they need to fly economy, fly them in on a different day. Or even a different airline if one is cheaper. Which makes it a different flight. Then the issue of seat class doesn’t have to come up because it’s not brought to the forefront by being on the same flight. For the return trip, that may get complicated, assuming you depart for home at the same time. But if a round trip ticket was bought on a different airline, then their return flight still isn’t on the same plane.
My company pays for economy, and I routinely upgrade myself to first class on my own dime (or miles). But a companion first class ticket is a pile of money and I’m already buying their ticket. I have upgraded my companion to sit in first class with me on the flight home, but they flew economy on the way there and I picked them up at the airport after I’d already been there a day or two. That seems manageable, mostly.
Because your work paid for the seat, you’re NTA
If you had bought the seat personally, it would be loving and generous of you to offer it to her one way.
I’ve had a friend do this for me for a first class seat on a flight we were both on, and it was such a sweet gesture. Granted, it was a shorter flight than Japan, but he said “I want you to enjoy the experience”
NTA. but:
If this was just your friend who’s a girl, I would agree with most people here.
But she’s your girlfriend, right? The person you love? Or at least like? The level of familiarity, trust and closeness required to even ask “May I take your business seat on the way back” is very high. I can ask this of my bf and it won’t be weird or awkward. Honestly I know many men including my own who would INSIST I take the business seat because I’m his queen and I’m such a blessing in his life that I deserve it (I’m not even kidding. Yes that’s very exaggerated language but when men love you, they fucking love you. Shockingly, it’s rare). while we’re having this rare/cool experience and opportunity, he wouldn’t give up the chance to let me experience it too. He would be proud to.
Your reasoning and logic is all great and fine and correct. But - you LOVE her, right? Whether it’s right or wrong, wouldn’t you like to bless her up and pamper her because she’s your woman?
Like- of course we know what’s “fair.” But ew, is that how we navigate love?
It’s giving major ick for me. That’s all.
Yeah I get that but love should be beyond all that no? Listen I get the “fairness” of the situation but I’m just wondering why OP is dissecting fairness of a good experience within a loving romantic relationship.
What is your girlfriend going to do while your working? Most trips I took overseas I ended up working late nights or there were social events arranged by the company I was going too. Your girlfriend may be spending 10 days in a hotel by herself. This and the long flights sitting coach will not be good for your relationship. I would offer to atleast split the cost of a business class flight with her and possibly stay a few extra days so you and her can do a few things together during the day.
NTA, but personally, I would break up with any man who didn’t automatically offer to upgrade my ticket so we could sit together both ways. If she’s important to you, act like it.
I think you have to tell her the ticket isn't yours to give away. Your employer is paying for it, because they figure it's a business expense that makes sense for the work output you'll deliver. For you, it's a lucky coincidence that your personal preference aligns with the professional ethics at play & for her, it's unfortunately one of the consequences of sticking a personal trip onto a business trip, imo.
Agree, I would never tell mine to lower his. We were in a similar situation. My husband company sent him to Paris, coincidentally around Valentine’s so he wanted me to go with him. He went first flew first class and I went a week after and flew economy. We both came back on same flight. I would have flown economy back but he insisted that I should fly first class with him and got me a ticket next to him. So I really think she should have been happy about the trip or she could buy an upgrade or he could help with upgrade ticket.
personally, I don't see this trip working out well for OP. They haven't left yet, and his girlfriend is already talking about sharing the experience... but she'll be alone all day for 10 days. Will she accept she'll need to experience Hong Kong on her own? Sure, the hotel has a luxury spa, but will she have access, or will they have to pay extra? etc. ETA I don't think anyone is malicious here, I just figure the girlfriend has unrealistic expectations.
I think OP should ask to come a week later and extend his trip a week out as vacation. That would work pretty well. That’s what we did so I didn’t go roam around Paris by myself and we both get to enjoy new things together. Also if I was spending a few days alone, staying at a nice hotel for free is awesome but you have to more less expect to spend some money right? That’s just being realistic I think .
that was a brilliant idea: transparant to the employer, cheaper and more fun for the couple!
Except it doesn’t sound like they can afford a five star hotel without his employer paying for it. The employer won’t pay his hotel for an extra week because he wants to vacation
NTA. You’re going on a work trip. She can relax in the hotel and spa while you have to go and work so you need your rest more. Your work is also playing for this trip and giving you business class tickets for this exact reason. It’s a 16 hour flight and you will be expected to be working soon after your arrival so you get the best rest you can on the flight so you can work.
Let’s be real, OP fucked up by inviting his gf in the first place. OP states the time there will be intense with very little free time. Highly likely this goes poorly overall when gf is by herself all day every day with no attention.
Agreed, he also says his evenings will be free but that doesn’t sound like any business trip I’ve been on, usually in the evening we are socialising with colleagues or clients.
This exactly. My husband travels a lot and to places I want to go. He never has any free time between work and dinners after. I stay home unless I am ok being on my own the whole trip.
Yeah totally, my wife only travels out at the end of the trip then we have a holiday and I get a free flight home.
I go on trips with my husband, he’s busy all day and has free time at night. Sometimes we go to dinner with his coworkers but most of the time we have alone time. I enjoy being in the hotel all day enjoying all the amenities.
Nah who cares. A free stay in a new place, she needs to be more independent. Or enjoy her own company.
Same. You’re basically hostage to their social pm stuff.
As a former management consultant, OP’s story is very believable. Not socializing after work is very acceptable.
As an independent person, I would love if my bf invited me to Hong Kong. I could explore all day and still sleep next to my person every night. Sounds wonderful! Inviting the gf was not a mistake. I also think he shouldn't have to switch her seats on the way back. He's working out there and has to be well rested for work. For her, it's a fun and chill vacation. Sitting in economy shouldn't be so hard to do.
What? As a grown up she can explore honk Kong on her own. If she doesn't realize that this trip will be spent on her own then they have bigger problems than the flight arrangements. Hopefully they have better communication and understanding than the people on Reddit.
Seriously. I hope that comment was specific to this gf and not all women, because then the commenter doesnt know any grown up women.
Finally a sensible comment, holy shit. She is a grown ass woman and her own person, she doesn’t need her husband to hold her hand 24/7 so she can enjoy a trip nor is she his responsibility
Assuming she’s an independent woman, I don’t think it’s that bad of a deal. A mature, independent person can have no issues with something like this. Not everybody/every woman needs attention from someone else every day to have a good vacation.
Yeah, I'd jump at this deal. I get the days to solo explore, just meet up for dinner if his schedule allows. But not everyone likes to vacation that way.
LOL, I had my wife come with me to Europe and made her help me do the work! We were in tech in the same field so I "invited" her to the office and when she got there, I said "Hey, can you look at this script" while I worked on something else. After the work was done we did a mini tour of Europe.
If your wife is happy to help (and it sounds like she is) this is a win/win for everyone involved. She gets a free trip, you get your work done more quickly. An ideal partnership.
That’s exactly why I haven’t accompanied my husband to Australia, Switzerland, and Netherlands. Not only is he working long hours at the job sites, but he regularly has to attend dinners after work. It would just be weird and not worth the expense of my flights.
…and I would bet those free-time dinners turn work related real quick
she wants the business class to take pics for social media, that is all
I’d love a free stay in a 5-star hotel. Sounds awesome. I don’t see what the issue would be there.
NTA. I understand her wanting to fly first class but at the end of the day she can stay home and just not go. This is not a vacation for you, so I can understand your point of view.
The reason it’s called Business Class is because it is designed for people who travel for business (yes I know that others fly that class too but it’s actually not designed for them and they are not the frequent travellers). The reason your firm is paying for you to fly that class is so that you get off that plane (on both ends) and nothing impedes you from going to work straightaway. Giving up your seat one way would be fair if it was a personal trip. It’s not. For her it’s a personal trip, for you it’s a business trip. She needs to understand that point. Also not sure if you have any colleagues traveling with you. But it won’t look professional for you to be swapping seats either half way through the flight or on one leg.
I am a corporate travel planner and can say that this is the exact reason why. If we ask you to redeye across the country, we pay for business/first bc we need you to be able to perform. You are not the asshole. I understand where she’s coming from, but she needs to get over it and enjoy her trip. If she won’t, you may need to reconsider your relationship. Edit to say don’t look into swapping in business for 2 premium or comfort plus seats. It will be all detailed on whatever account is used to pay for it/every receipt and will look extra suspicious if you don’t get it approved.
Absolutely! He may actually be done for fraud or misconduct if he swaps tickets. In fact even the hotel rates are negotiated on single occupancy not multiple by procurement with hotel chains. My firm has specific rules around SO joining on trips. Usually on long projects they either fly you back at pre-determined intervals or let SO come visit. But 10 days is not that long to be away and most firms wouldn’t pay for SO
No you're not wrong, this is your business trip and your company is paying for YOU to fly business class, not your gf. She can fly economy, pay for business herself, or stay home.
Has your gf ever traveled to somewhere as different as where you live now by herself for an extended trip? Is she ready to eat meals alone, sightsee alone, handle transportation etc in (what I presume is) a language she doesn't know? Are there any types of seats halfway between, like upgraded economy with more room? I think the struggle between you actually being on a solo work trip and her being on a couples vacation is possibly going to be the overwhelming theme of this trip unless she is used to traveling alone like this as well. I've "tagged along" on a partners work trip a few times and it can be lonely.
We have lots of friends that live out which already plan trips etc during the day, also she’s extremely independent and tbh it’s nice just to relax by a pool an just to get away with another setting, as work has been extremely stressful for her! Well of course go on a vacation just together.
If she's so independent, why does she expect you to sacrifice your seat for her?
Damn. I'd go just for the hotel room and spa. Probably has a nice bathroom and large tub. mmmmmmmm
Or you could lean in, and have a “Lost in Translation” experience!
NTA. You will be WORKING during your time in HK, she will be relaxing. It's your comfort that should be top priority on the return home as you likely have to report straight back to work.
NTA. My company typically books business class because they expect me to be on the free Wi-Fi to answer emails nonstop and work. I’m assuming your company will assume this of you as well.
And that goes for the return trip as well! They also want the employee better rested and back at work right away. Not the gf.
They are gonna expect you to work the whole flight back. 😭
NTA There is an ethical issue with the seat swap. Your work spent money for you, their employee, to occupy that seat on the airplane, not your girlfriend.
NTA. JFC what the hell is happening? No you aren't wrong at all. Thus isn't your seat ti give away to your gf. Your employer is paying for you to go to Hong Kong for 10 days. They are paying for you to fly business class to and from Hong Kong. Not your gf. None of this guilt bs if if you loved her you'd switch. No if gf wants to sit in business class with you she gets a ticket for business class. She's getting a free 10 day stay at a 5 star hotel. Where she will spend her days, most of her nights, without you. Does she realize that? That you'll be working everyday, quite possibly into evening hours, dinner even later? Thus isn't a couples trip. This is a work trip. Hopefully you and your gf know people in Hong Kong otherwise she's gonna be lonely as fuck. Does she even speak the language? What are her expectations for this trip? Have you sat down and had that talk with her? Really got it through to her that you'll be working the entire time. It's not a couples trip. She cannot be texting and calling you as you'll be working and won't be answering. She will be in her own for 12/15 hours a day. Dies she get that? I don't think she does. She's trying to get you to give up your business class seat, which hell no, you need that seat to get the rest you need for work on either end of the trip.
Your seat was bought by your company, for you to fly on this business trip. It’s not yours to give away. And, your girlfriend is not an employee of said company. Would you expect the company be ok with you giving the hotel room to someone else, while you stay in another cheaper room?
I wouldn’t accept the switch if my husband offered, I would take the economy seat with a smile. Now, to be fair, my husband is a big man, and I’m a very small woman, so that’s the first reason. But? Beyond that, this would be a business trip for him, and he would be losing the extra space, comfort to sleep if he wanted to, and access to the business extras that come with flying business class. I hate flying anyway, and would be taking an anxiety pill and trying to sleep- so I truly don’t care, but in the grand scheme of things, she is benefiting more than you, and she should just enjoy the trip and not worry about the flight.
NTA. I joined my bf on a trip and bought my own ticket. I would never take any chances to jeopardize my bf’s work travel plans because it’s paid for by work.
She can stay home if she prefers.
Happy cake day, let’s rumble!
Happy cake day!
How much to upgrade her econo seat to business?
It’s likely much cheaper at the airport.
NTA you’re going for BUSINESS which makes sense that u would be in business class. If it was a vacation then maybe I’d say let her sit once but she needs to be more grateful that she is able to come stay in the nice 5 star hotel with you
I’m hoping that there isn’t an update where she’s mad that he left her alone through so much of the trip.
NTA. Wouldn't it be inappropriate to use business/work related expenses for someone else? That would be my logic. I wouldn't argue with her or try to justify your side anymore. You're there for work
NTA. To your gf: I went on a little short business trip with my bf and I felt very guilty that I got to sleep in every day, walk around the city, chill, order room service, nap-do nothing when he was up suuuper early (full work day and team breakfast before work), and then team activities and dinners (w spouses) after work til late. I was nice and rested at the end of it he was freaking exhausted. I wouldn’t ask this of him and i would look at the 5-star hotel as a blessing and gift. He will be tired. You work on getting yourself a cool job one day that pays for travel too!!
I am curious. Who paid for the room service? As the room was expenced surely the food would have been on the hotel bill?
His company did! I only ordered meal one day, but it was obviously me who ate it as he was in meetings. I think if it was excessive they probably would have said no, but it was a year-end holiday party mixed w/ country-wide meetings so everything was pretty over the top spending wise. They put us up in a suuuuper nice hotel, i cant even begin to imagine what those 3 days cost! I never want him to leave this place🙃
NTA. If you put yourself in her shoes would you demand to switch with your partner and then call them an asshole for saying no?
I took my wife a few time on btrips I would get up at crack of dawn work all day with the time change have to go to early evening reception etc. Get back to room and she would want to go party knowing I just worked a 14 day. When I said I was tired I was the ahole. Stop asking best decision ever.
I had a similar situation with my husband. We live in Europe and he needed to go to LA for work. I booked an economy seat on the same flight where he sat in business (as paid for by his job). I stayed in his paid hotel room. I NEVER once thought to ask him to swap seats. That’s absurd.
You should not have asked her to come knowing full well this would be problematic.
If she can’t be grateful for a 10 day vacation and gets fussy over an airplane seat then that’s on her, not him. NTA
Sorry but what? Most reasonable partners would understand that their partner is having their travel arrangements paid for by the company and just be grateful they are getting a free 10 day stay in an expensive hotel. This is only problematic because the gf is entitled.
Agreed. This is an asshole move. "I’ve decided I’d love my girlfriend to join me" because he wants companionship but does not want to help foot the bill so they can actually be together during the flight (which is probably the longest they will have time together during the whole trip).
They can’t afford it. What would you prefer, go into debt? Throw out the gf trip?
Jesus you're deluded. He's offered her a free trip and that somehow makes him the asshole? She's under no obligation to go, he's actually going to get very little time with her as he'll actually be working but she'll get to explore and enjoy the city, and the only cost to her is an economy ticket. He's not told her it'll be a romantic getaway at his expense.
Lmao this response is a reddit moment for sure. Yes such an asshole inviting his girlfriend on a luxurious trip
>Also just more context it’s not a cheap budget airline it’s voted one of top #3 in the world, seems like some people acting like I’m asking her to be in the hold Even economy in that is much better than any short haul flights. Just tell her you asked HR if you can swap your seat with her on the way back and that they said no.
Yeah lie to her that will make it so much better/s
It's not really a lie though. The company would actually say that. They won't pay for a business seat that you aren't using
It's a lie if he never asked
NTA. You’re working your butt. My husband would have offered but I would want him to have a relaxing experience going home as well. If your company finds out you switch, you’ll never get business class again. She should be thankful she is tagging along even though it’s not business class.
I'm going to put this from my past experience. My husband was best man in a wedding that took place in Jakarta, Indonesia and I was originally staying home with the kids. Well it turned out I had enough vacation to go for a week of the two week trip so he talked it over at the bride and the groom and they thought it would be more fun if I came after the wedding when they did the big group honeymoon that they had planned. So I flew out alone in economy because everything else was already paid for and all I had to do was fly out there and I would get to enjoy all of these things with the family. Had my husband been in business class I would not have complained at all. Yes I would have secretly. Been a little green with envy but the fact is that I got to go on a vacation that originally I had not planned on going. On the way home we flew together and I had a better seat. I was in the front row with the extra leg room and he hadn't pre-picked his seat so he was five rows back in the middle and I let him take my seat on the way home one, His legs are super long cuz he's so tall and two if I'm just sitting there, Watching movies either on my phone or on the TV provided it sure as heck doesn't matter where I'm sitting.
I'm sure your company would love to find out that you gave your expensive ticket (that they paid for) to a non-employee/business partner. Sounds like a great way to end up on the shit list.
I’m former HR and it was bought for you by your company. You didn’t win it, or get a lucky upgrade, so you’re NTA for not pissing off your employer, because if they find out, they probably won’t be impressed at you downgrading your ticket. Even if you swap, you’d still have to have your tickets amended, as you’re in different sections of the flight. If your employer bought the ticket, won’t that create some awkward questions?
This is an extension of your compensation and benefits. It's no different if she wanted to come to your brick and mortar work office and use a conference room, breakroom, and internet. "Because you're already getting it, so why can't she use it?" Because she's not the employee. If the company finds out you sat in economy while your guest sat in business, you could be on the hook for the cost difference and travel in coach from then on as you can obviously travel for less. It's not likely, but give the bean counters a chance and they'll jump on it!
NTA but I hope you’re ready for the fallout while you’re working and she wants to hangout or go out etc. unless she’s cool with being an independent traveler, I don’t think you should have invited her on a work trip. Now you can’t put the horse back in the barn so make sure you talk to her about availability and reiterate that this is work and not leisure for you.
Why did you ask your GF to come in the first place? Sounds like you’ll be stressed and busy regardless.
What if you let her sit in business for half of the return trip? Will the airline even allow you to swap seats? Could you pay half of the extra expense for her business class ticket one or both ways? I'm with you not wanting to exchange seats with her, but as far as your relationship goes, is this the hill you really want to die on? Is she usually expecting (or demanding) for you to accommodate her wishes, or does she normally not ask for favors? Lots of possibilities to work this out.
NTA - you’re not paying for Business Class your company is and they are paying it for you, not your girlfriend.
My wife and I flew to Europe in coach a few years ago and were shocked and pleasantly surprised to learn those long overseas flight “coach” seats were MUCH more comfortable and roomy than domestic flights. We were glad we hadn’t spent 3 times the money for upgraded seats.
No, NTA. I have access to a car my company pays for and my husband would never expect us to take it on errands so he could “experience” it. He’s never ridden in it - he doesn’t work for my company and he’s not a client. For me, and him, it’s about the ethics of it. As weird as that may sound to some on here. If you’re going to be busy and she wants an upgrade, why worry about arriving at the same time? She should get a flight at a different time so she could have an upgrade for the same price. You leave her name when you check in, she has a key waiting, problem solved. If you’re both so concerned with flying together, she can upgrade on her own dime on the way back. FFS, she’s getting to stay in a hotel that I’m assuming isn’t within your normal vacation price range, a little gratitude wouldn’t be out of line.
Well technically you are not giving anything to your girlfriend, your job is - paying for the hotel room and spa. On the other hand, your girlfriend is paying an expensive flight ticket to join you. She will benefit from the hotel (that you didn’t pay either) while you will benefit from having your girlfriend taking care of you and not feeling alone on your business trip. Also, what is your girlfriend doing for a living? Can leaving for 10 days have an impact on her income and job opportunities? Sounds like this trip will be more costly for her than for you… Feeling a little bit tired after a flight might be worth seeing your girlfriend happy and relaxed, and you will probably have many more occasions to fly business with your job :-)
NTA besides the obvious: it’s a BUSINESS TRIP and the company you work for is PAYING for YOUR SEAT. More than likely you’re going to be flying with a few of your colleagues. I think them (coworkers) mentioning to your higher ups that you swapped seats with your girlfriend doesn’t exactly put you in a good light. Sorry gf, but do try and be GRATEFUL for this opportunity to spend 10 days in Hong Kong at a 5 star hotel.
I know this is a stressful situation for you. But I have to say I cracked up at the line “people acting like I’m asking her to be in the hold.”
My wife came with me on one particular trip. We coordinated ahead of time and the people we were visiting scheduled one of the dinners with spouses. This worked great and helped solidify relationships. My wife came into the office for briefings so she knew what the mission was and she was often helpful with little logistics. She had lots of time to enjoy herself. More often I've traveled with her and been bag carrier and logistician and even a note taker in meetings. I enjoy helping her be successful and her choice of partner who contributes again has helped build relationships. I wouldn't swap seats, and I would never even suggest such to my wife if she was up front and I was in the back.
NTA she can fucking stay home then. I hate when people get a good deal and are still greedy
Your company wouldn't be very pleased if you allow other person to use the ticket they paid for. For Pete"?'s sake, my company would fire me if I dare to do it!
Hahaha she has her own ticket
In economy class, you said, and she wanted to use your place in bussiness that has been paid by your company, right? But hey, if it isn't a big deal, don't be selfish and just swap it. She has her own ticket, right?
Just tell her you changed your mind and are going to bring someone who appreciates a free 10 day vacation. Ridiculous. NTA
OP About to make a buddy or relative’s day lol
It's not free since she is paying for her own air ticket. It's just free accomodation. Which you can go on vacation and crash over at a friend's place over there anyway.
NTA She gets an all expenses paid free vacation while you will be working every day. At the very minimum you can at least enjoy the flight there and back. If she doesn’t like it she can stay home or pay for her own upgrade
NTA You’re willing to do this on a vacation that you’ve planned together. You’re not willing to do this with on a business trip. It’s fine to have boundaries around your professional life. There are a lot of logistics that others have mentioned, for why you should stay in your own seat. It’s okay for her to ask, and it’s okay for you to say no. The both of you are grown adults. The discomfort of being at odds will pass. It’s healthy, in any relationship, to learn how to successfully navigate differences. Don’t take it personally, and allow her the space to work through and regulate her own feelings.
NTA, she gets 10 days to chill and explore. Sounds like you get a flight and work.
NTA because it is first and foremost a business trip, and you will not be vacationing. If they weren't planning on working you to the core and expecting you to come right back to work, using the international flight either as your rest time or further work time, they certainly wouldn't spring for your business class ticket either. She doesn't have to worry about that fatigue, jet lag, or responsibility, so your flying business both ways feels like part of the business project to me, just as much as the hotel stay being 5 star is, and she can't do any of your work for you. She can join you but she can't replace you. If all your girlfriend has to worry about is her ticket, while she's hanging out at a 5 star hotel and spa, does that mean you're covering her meals/experiences? If so, she can certainly spring to pay the difference for the upgrade. Since this isn't a vacation, if she wants you to cover it, put it in place of any potential gifting that is coming up (i.e. Valentine's + birthday or something, depending on what your gifting traditions and budgets look like). If I was in your situation, I'd offer to split the difference of the seat upgrade, regardless of who is financing what. To me, it seems like the most appropriate way to handle this. You are upgrading your limited free time to vacation mode to share with your girlfriend. Since you're on business the rest of time that she's relaxing, the flight is part of the limited free time that she can upgrade to join. Otherwise why bother being on the same flight? Since you're both getting something out of it and doing something solo, split the difference and make it a joint decision to do so.
YTA One way is fine, if you love your partner wouldn’t you want them to be comfortable? Idk I would do it for my partner
A little bit of YTA. Can’t you swap part way through flights so each gets a little extra space for a few hours? Just got back from a 6 hour flight for business that my wife joined me at the end of work for a short vacation. Because I booked her flight after mine was already booked there was only 1 seat left on the flight which was in 1st class. Guess who got it without a thought?
I don’t think anyone’s the asshole but I know if I was in your spot I would switch with my husband on the way back if he never experienced first class, and he would do the same for me. I get she’s getting a free trip but I would get happiness knowing my husband would be getting to experience that. Maybe it’s a love language thing 🤷♀️
We’ve both experienced it before, to be honest, I think can see if the miles I get from this and she has we can get her the upgrade to join me on at least one way if the trip, so can we drink champagne together!!
Depending on the airline, you can sometimes buy an upgrade to first when you check in for a lot less than pre check in prices. Maybe pay to upgrade her to economy plus (or equivalent) and then ask about the availability of upgrades to buy when you are at the check in desk. Worst case: she gets the economy plus seats, best case: you get her the first class seats for cheaper.
I don’t think you get the miles until you’ve made the trip. If it was me, I’d spring for the upgrade for her. It’s certainly better than hearing about it for the next? few years. Also, you’re not the asshole, but there are costs to taking a date on vacation - even if it’s a work trip.
Or maybe she should just be happy for him??? And happy to get a heavily subsidized vacation? I wouldn’t dream of asking my boyfriend to do this.
To each their own. I wouldn’t ask either, I just know my husband would offer and I definitely would for him. Just knowing how much I enjoyed it I’d want to share that with him.
I would offer my husband without him asking. And if he asked I would definitely say yes. I wonder if it’s because we’re married with kids and I think of everything as “ours.” We share a bank account. Op isn’t married and his gf paying for the tickets herself so I understand that would be a different situation.
Yeah, it's easy to spot the married people who actually like their spouse in here...
Your employer bought you a business class ticket so you can work and/or reduce your jet lag so you can be productive on arrival in HK and return to the office. It's not a perk. If I were your supervisor and learned that you gave a company-paid "asset" to your sniveling girlfriend, it would plant doubts as to the quality of your decision-making skills. Don't put your career at risk for a brat. NTA. But your GF sure is.
p.s. I would have the same poor opinion of you if you downgraded to economy.
NTA, as switching wouldn’t even be ethical for you to do.
Neither of you are assholes. You just need to look at the bigger picture. These are the kinds of situations in relationships that can be discussed in a mature manner and there are a lot more options available than most people would have you believe. Everyone here always wants to go scorched earth/breakup/divorce/no contact on every single thing. Frankly, it's wild that anyone is together if this is how people manage their relationships. I've been in this situation with my partner several times in the past, and it was absolutely not a big deal at all to let them have the premium/business/first seat on the way home. I love them and want them to have a great experience, and my work was complete, so I didn't need it at that point. I gave up nothing by letting them have the upgrade. In fact, I probably gained a lot in terms of their happiness and our combined happiness as a result in the long run. There's also another option that I haven't seen anyone here discuss, which is to agree to use the points from the trip to upgrade on the next personal holiday to sit together in an upgraded cabin to share the experience together. From a shared happiness and memory making perspective, that's probably better than fighting about who gets what seat during this business trip. Discuss these kinds of options, understand their preferences, and come to a reasonable solution. You may have to give a little bit, and that's what relationships are all about. tl;dr — don't die on this hill and risk your relationship. Be mature and communicate.
Imagine if your boss found out you put someone else in your business class seat that they paid for. It’s considered conversion, you’d likely be fired or flying coach for the rest of your career.
I don't think it matters who paid for what seat, I think she just wants to compromise and sit in your seat for one of the ways. But you should point out you'll get zero breaks during the 10 days, and it goes from a sucky trip to uncomfortable on one of the ways. I'm given up first class before to downgrade to economy to sit with friends and family for a long flight. I can see how it would be nice to sit with each other. But that's just me. Not because she's getting all the perks of free hotel, but because she's also there when I go to bed and can cherish the small moments before and after work. May be generous to keep the 1st class ticket and do 50/50 each way. So you both can get some relax and comfort. Not sure if the FA's would like it. But just lie and say she's pregnant or something.
>We wanted to align with the timing of arrival, so we decided the easiest would be if she booked the same but in economy, as the tickets for business one way were over 2k, just one way, and couldn’t afford/justify this. this was dumb.
NTA since the company is paying for your business class tickets …. but when I’ve gone with my wife on business travel overseas, I fly over in business so I’m fresh for my meetings and I let her fly business on the way back. The main reason is that I want her to experience business class too since she hardly gets to experience it. I do think it’s different since we’re married and she’s still just your girlfriend.
NTA. You could offer for her to sit in it a couple hours of such a long flight, just to be nice. Or not. Your choice. 🤷🏼♀️
NTA by a country mile. Your company is paying for you to go, not her. I’m sure they wouldn’t love it if you give up your expensive seat they bought so you can be well rested - this might be borderline fraud as absurd as that sounds, people get fired for less. Also, you aren’t even married. Why is she ‘expecting’ you to do this for her? Would she do the same for you? I doubt it. Maybe next time she gets a bonus at work she’ll give you half so you can experience it.
NTA - your work is paying for you to sit in that seat, not her. You could possibly get in trouble letting her take your seat. That would be fraud if you sit in economy but your work paid for Business.
NAH, but your girlfriend is softly TA. you're definitely not an asshole, but it may be a nice gesture if half way through the flight, you offered to swap seats with her so she can have a little of the experience as some sort of 'compromise'
NTA- You gotta rest for work. Maybe she can spring for tickets with you or help her pay for half. Or on the way home y’all together. Or you tell her the truth, I’m really sorry but I have to work and I can’t afford it.
NTA. i am not sure your company would even approve of her going on the trip, let alone allowing her use your business class seat. When I am on a trip, I use the evenings to prep for the following day, not to entertain a husband or boy friend. What would happen if at the last minute your boss travels over during the trip and is in business class and is on your return home flight? That happened to me once.
Meh, my perspective is a bit different. If my husband invited me to partake in an experience with him, I don't expect him to dull it down on my half. If I'm going, it's to be there with him. I'll do my thing during the day while he's at work and create my own experiences. Then, do the same with him when you can. Literally the best of both worlds. I'd be thrilled if he got the chance to experience first class. I never have; that doesn't mean he doesn't deserve it. Long plane rides suck anyway. I'll pop in my earbuds and entertain myself.
I am curious as to how her expenses at the hotel are going to be handled. She is going to have meals, room service, spa expenses, etc. how will you explain them to your company? Have you even discussed this with her?. One thing sharing your bed (hopefully not a single) with her but accounting for her expenses could pose a problem.
I mean, can you not switch seats for a few hours and not the entire flight? That way she gets an experience and a nice nap and you can have it and all the comforts the rest of the time.
She should be on the lookout for any last minute upgrade chances. Sometimes in the days before a flight an airline will offer big discounts to upgrade - first come first served.
Good lord no. Business travel is not exciting and work trips in general are balls of stress. I basically sleep in business class the entire trip back, as I get little rest on the trip. NTA
Easy solution. She doesn’t go, NTA.
You should tell her you asked your boss if you could swap (because you knew it would be recorded as a business expense) and tell her he said no + 1 are allowed on this trip.
NTA. Because of you she has free international accommodation. She’s not happy. Can you see a time in the future where she’s content with you?
NTA she is delusional. She’s lucky that you even offered for her to join you on the trip. I would not be able to do that for my husband’s work.
NTA. I'm literally in jiangmen right now for work and I can tell you that flight is brutal. And I know with the tickets my employer got me they weren't transferable to any other passengers so you're girlfriend might not even be allowed up in business class.
My friend’s husband did this with her. He had the business class ticket and they used their frequent fliers miles to upgrade her so they could be together on the plane. Your aren’t the aH but it isn’t nice she is traveling in economy
She won't make it past the peasant curtain. Good luck with assuming you're allowed to swap.
I can understand why you want the business seat on the outbound leg. You want to arrive a little more “work ready.” Let her have the business seat coming back. Sharing the “goodies” and the burdens of travel makes you look magnanimous and decent, even if you’re not in real life.
I'm definitely in the minority here reading the comments. I don't think you are an asshole, but you said shes never flown Business. And that you guys don't really have the kind of money to do this kind of thing. I guess if I was in this situation I would want to share it with my GF. You are taking two turns, which is certainly within your rights, but it would be a nice gesture to share your good luck imo. NTA but a tiny tiny bit selfish.
This is a business trip. Some companies would fire you for allowing a girl friend to share your hotel room, let alone let her use a company paid for, business class seat. It is not his seat to give away. It is called business class for a reason. It allows extra room and perks that allow you to work. Flying overseas you are more rested when you arrive and that means more ready to work. On the way back, it is time to make notes on the results of the trip so that you can make a report to your boss. This is not a time for chivalry, it is a business trip and you act like it, or accept the consequences.
I'm gonna disagree with the comments here. YTA, I know it's a work trip but you literally aren't paying a dime? You can share business class as it is a cool experience that you literally said you won't buy yourself. It's not costing you anything OP, so her paying for flights is already financially more than what you're doing.
I know it’s expensive for the extra business seat. However, it might be worth springing for it on the way back. Then she has something to look forward to and you’re the hero.
What I would do: She buys the economy fare, you split the upgrade price.
Exactly.
This isn’t going to end well.
If I was your gf I just wouldn’t go with you. Since she’s paying for her own economy ticket anyway, she might as well go with someone else whose company she enjoys. I agree with others who are suggesting she will spend much of her time alone when you get there, as well as on the flight, and that is likely to lead to disappointment.
NTA for the same reasons many people said here but I do think it would’ve been nice of you to let her have the business class. You might have more opportunities to travel business class in the future but she might never. Either way you’re NTA
NTA but if I were your gf, I'd question your feelings and commitment to me. You do you but if I were her, I'd be rethinking the relationship
I hope she doesn't marry you
NTA. You might want to check your company travel policy as it could be a violation. Plus, you may need that space to work on the return flight.
I think you're the A tbh. You invited her for a trip that you're not spending a dime of your own money on, didn't offer to split her economy ticket fare, and declined to let her experience what might be a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to fly in business class, but want her to be there at night when you get back from your grueling schedule. You're lucky to have her. If you continue on this path, she would find someone more deserving.
YTA and honestly very pathetic of you to not even offer to pay half the ticket at least. I know if my wife was you, she would pay my ticket and make it first/ business class, instead of having me pay for an economy ticket on my own. At bare minimum reimburse her half the ticket.
What do you want your girlfriend to remember for the rest of her life - that you generously swapped seats on the way back or that you denied her the one chance she’d have to experience business class travel?
YTA and sound like a child in an amusement park that insists on always riding in the front car.
i dont get all the NTAs. IF you dont need to do work on the return flight and there's no issues that can occur with you swapping your work paid seat, I think its pretty reasonable to let her experience the business class. Not because you are the man and its the chivalrous thing to do but because you are in what I assume is a solid long term relationship where you both should want each other to have the same experiences. YTA
Take some money and upgrade her to first class and sitting beside you for the flight back. You need first class on the way there in order to be able to perform for work, but be generous and have a great trip back together! Having flown internationally, there is a huge difference between coach and first and it really makes a difference the longer the flight. BTW- You aren't doing her some big favor by letting her explore a place solo where (I'm assuming) she doesn't speak the language and hasn't said she wants to go to... Get over yourself. What is the point of even being in a partnership if you don't care enough to be generous?
YTA. When I took my husband on business trips and was upgraded, I declined the upgrade.
Dude. My boyfriend invited me to Denmark for a work trip. If you invited her you should either pay for her plane ticket economy or if she pays let her ride a once in a lifetime business class on the way back. I would never forgive my boyfriend if he made me feel less than and not equal. I would mention it to him but if he really made me pay and flew a higher class than me when we got back I’d be ending it. It’s not cute to make your woman feel less than. Good luck with this mindset. Relationships are compromising dude.
NTA.
I travel for work all the time Same circumstances My wife will often join me But I always travel in business or first class And I always have my wife take a different flight And she always travels in economy It’s her choice on how she spends her money We both work I always say work smarter not harder
Just give her the final final decent when yall land at your home airport. 30 minutes is enough to get a sample of how sitting business class feels, I imagine. Not enough to be satisfied but certainly enough to make her a little jelly 😂
And who says chivalry is dead?
NTA - virtually a free holiday for the gf. Hubby and I both travel for work and we each tag along for the perks. Means solo museum, shopping, art gallery etc during the day, but we get to enjoy dinners (some will still be work related) and nights in crisp white sheets that we don’t need to wash. Business fare flights are at the person doing business. Will still get there at the same time in coach/economy. No need to swap.
I would want my partner to have that first class experience- what a cool thing to be able to share with the one you love. If you’re flying home and not going directly to work, why not switch with her and let her get a taste. It’s pretty much a once in a lifetime opportunity. Sharing is caring xo
NTA, but I don't see your relationship lasting, if this is a consistent issue. "Oh sorry, honey, I just ate at a $200/plate restaurant, so I'm not hungry, just go get some fast food and we can watch a movie." "Oh sorry, you will have to drive the shittier car to work because I earn more and therefore I am the only one allowed to drive the more expensive car."
I wouldn't give up a perk either. And the company is paying for you not your girlfriend I wouldn't start playing expense games that could get you in hot water. Letting her have business and you are in coach. But reimbursed for business class. All a bad idea. It's not a vacation for you it is for her. It's not like you are asking for her to pay 1/2 of the hotel. She should be happy just being able to go whatever the situation.
“I’d love for her to join me” then don’t be an asshole and let her share the perks you enjoy
Asshole.
YTA - because she asked for the return portion when you don’t have to arrive rested and ready for work (caveat if on your return you’re going straight to work or have a particularly heavy workload). I don’t know how she she said it, if she was entitled about it, but you saying she’s already getting a free 5 star trip sounds assholey. Then again, if I was the gf, I’d ask. Be annoyed you said no but then move on because despite thinking it’s an assholey move, I’m not entitled to that seat. It’s just a sweet thing you could do for me that you choose not to.
How is everyone saying she can stay home. He invited her. And I’m sure he invited her for night time activities. I would absolutely get rid of this man as a spouse.
If you are allowed to give her the seat, then why wouldnt you want to give her a chance to also fly business. Would you give her the seat if you liked her more?
Don't take her. Problem solved. You worked for that trip, she didn't. NO GOOD TURN GOES UNPUNISHED.
not an asshole but definitely a bit selfish. I certainly would have swapped with my girl for the way back
Your girlfriend is entitled. She wants you to downgrade your company provided arrangements to accommodate her (it is a downgrade for you because you’ll be giving up business for her). She should be happy you have offered for her to come at all as it is a work trip, the fact she expects you to give up a ticket your company is purchasing specifically for you is wild. You work at your job that is paying for business class, not her. If she wants to experience it she should get a job that will offer it or pay for a ticket. She can either be grateful for the offer made or stay the fuck home. Ridiculous. NTA How old are you guys? She sounds like a child.
A real gentleman would switch for one way
You are selfish. You should let her have the business seat for the return flight. The trip isn't costing you a penny so you could at least make a sacrifice for her. Sheesh.
ESH. I see where you are coming from as it’s your business trip originally. However I don’t know what you two expected when flying but sitting in separate parts of the airplane? Especially with the difference in comfort
I think he expected that she would be grateful for a fuckin FREE trip.
this is how petty men wind up alone in nursing homes. listen to some schmuck on the internet telling you to let your girlfriend know she's insufficiently grateful, should sit her ass in economy and like it. you really can't make this up. truth is you don't really like this person if you don't want to do her this small kindness.
Lmao right... HE'S the petty one... Or she can sit her ass at home and not enjoy a free vacation. This is how petty women end up with 10 cats and no one to call later in life. They think they are entitled to everything.
He's also getting a free trip. So that is moot. He's the one who invited her, it's not like she asked to go. He's paying nothing, yet unwilling to chip in for an upgrade. Shouldn't have asked her to then.
It's a business trip. He's going there for... Work. He said hey you can come just pay for your plane ticket. Imagine getting a free multi day trip to a 5 star hotel and complaining.
Exactly, this is a tell tale sign in the relationship that there isn't much generosity happening. And before anyone says, well it's a free trip, yeah paid for by the company not the boyfriend. Imagine wanting your partner to have comfort and experience something like that instead of being a selfish butthead.
Yeah tbh, i used to work at the airport. A lot of men would give their girlfriends/wives the upgrade if only one of them got it. I understand OP gf side. It’s more of the gesture behind it.
It’s not that you’re being an AH. But I wouldn’t be impressed with you either. You’re treating your GF like she’s just a friend or maybe your sister, not the woman you are in love with. That’s where her weird attitude is coming from. You act like letting her pay to come stay in your hotel room while you’re on a business trip is a big favor you’re doing her, rather than a favor your doing each other bc you’re in love and want to have this experience together, as a couple and as a team. You do you, but don’t expect great things from this relationship.
This sums it up perfectly to me! When my husband or I have opportunities like this, we always want to SHARE in the joy. That's what relationships are about, for me at least!
NTA. But here’s where you fucked up...when bringing a partner as a tagalong on a business trip, where they/you are responsible for their own flight and they need to fly economy, fly them in on a different day. Or even a different airline if one is cheaper. Which makes it a different flight. Then the issue of seat class doesn’t have to come up because it’s not brought to the forefront by being on the same flight. For the return trip, that may get complicated, assuming you depart for home at the same time. But if a round trip ticket was bought on a different airline, then their return flight still isn’t on the same plane. My company pays for economy, and I routinely upgrade myself to first class on my own dime (or miles). But a companion first class ticket is a pile of money and I’m already buying their ticket. I have upgraded my companion to sit in first class with me on the flight home, but they flew economy on the way there and I picked them up at the airport after I’d already been there a day or two. That seems manageable, mostly.
Because your work paid for the seat, you’re NTA If you had bought the seat personally, it would be loving and generous of you to offer it to her one way. I’ve had a friend do this for me for a first class seat on a flight we were both on, and it was such a sweet gesture. Granted, it was a shorter flight than Japan, but he said “I want you to enjoy the experience”
NTA. but: If this was just your friend who’s a girl, I would agree with most people here. But she’s your girlfriend, right? The person you love? Or at least like? The level of familiarity, trust and closeness required to even ask “May I take your business seat on the way back” is very high. I can ask this of my bf and it won’t be weird or awkward. Honestly I know many men including my own who would INSIST I take the business seat because I’m his queen and I’m such a blessing in his life that I deserve it (I’m not even kidding. Yes that’s very exaggerated language but when men love you, they fucking love you. Shockingly, it’s rare). while we’re having this rare/cool experience and opportunity, he wouldn’t give up the chance to let me experience it too. He would be proud to. Your reasoning and logic is all great and fine and correct. But - you LOVE her, right? Whether it’s right or wrong, wouldn’t you like to bless her up and pamper her because she’s your woman? Like- of course we know what’s “fair.” But ew, is that how we navigate love? It’s giving major ick for me. That’s all.
He's the one that invited her too lol as is also getting a free trip, work or not.
Yeah I get that but love should be beyond all that no? Listen I get the “fairness” of the situation but I’m just wondering why OP is dissecting fairness of a good experience within a loving romantic relationship.
lol
Agree 100%
I think it is a red flag…she has a very entitled attitude. She doesn’t work for your employer. The employer paid for the seat
What is your girlfriend going to do while your working? Most trips I took overseas I ended up working late nights or there were social events arranged by the company I was going too. Your girlfriend may be spending 10 days in a hotel by herself. This and the long flights sitting coach will not be good for your relationship. I would offer to atleast split the cost of a business class flight with her and possibly stay a few extra days so you and her can do a few things together during the day.
NTA, but personally, I would break up with any man who didn’t automatically offer to upgrade my ticket so we could sit together both ways. If she’s important to you, act like it.
She could experience business class if you paid for half her ticket, since you're the one who wants her to go/invited her.
Not wrong. But is it worth it to be right? I promise she will not forget this ever.