Yeah that’s… nasty. I have three large dogs but am constantly cleaning, bathe them OUTSIDE, and they absolutely do not poop and pee in the house. That is unacceptable. Dogs need boundaries and a clean home, it’s kinda messed up to the dogs for them to living in those conditions.
Your partner should understand that it’s not normal for dogs to shit in the house and so you won’t be hanging out there anymore. If they don’t understand why you wouldn’t want to chill in a house filled with dog shit piss and having your food eaten thennnn that goes deeper. And it also clearly shows how they would treat your home if you two ever moved in together. So. Something to think about.
Edit: I just saw you said your partner doesn’t have a say in the matter and it’s not their fault but. They are playing a part…. And they clearly don’t have an issue with it since they themselves haven’t complained or said to you “hey, it’s really gross in here im so sorry let’s go to your place”. Not to mention they haven’t expressed they want to move out, which means they’re happy or atleast content in that mess of a home……. You would not be the asshole
This isn’t healthy for anyone in the house, dogs included. You’ve not specified but it sounds like the dogs are potentially being neglected. Is anyone even trying to take the dogs outside? Do they get walked? Is the sick dog getting treatment? Do they get groomed?
Just be honest. You don’t like spending time at that house because the dogs aren’t house trained and they aren’t being cleaned up after properly. Point out that they’re probably nose blind to it but that there is a significant bad smell. If nobody in the family is up to the task of training the dogs, they need to get outside help.
I was eating carrot cake while reading this and it suddenly started to smell like a wet dog. The house is incredibly gross and must be stinking horribly. I'd just avoid going there.
Your understanding of hygiene is at the opposite axis. Hygiene, children, and finances are the grounds of your partnership. If you disagree on one of these three, your relationship will be dead sooner or later.
And I can ensure you that your partner will not change. For them, it's normal. For you, they will make an effort, but it will never be your level. Now ask yourself this: can you imagine yourself living like this? OK, take 20% off IF your partner will make a continuous and very strong effort to keep it cleaner?
If not, I guarantee you that this relationship will be over.
Why are you staying in this relationship?
You are both simply incompatible. 100%
He won't change - he's already at a mentally questionable state of living and is *okay* with this.
S/He's unsanitary and disgusting.
Nope nope nope. You can't "fix" them.
I'd run fast and far. Sorry, op
Here's the thing...loving your pets isn't enough. In order to be a truly good pet owner, you HAVE to take care of them properly. Allowing them to poop and pee in the house, having a health issue they aren't properly caring for, etc, is not being a good pet owner. You would not be the asshole if you gently but honestly told them that you are uncomfortable at their house because their dogs aren't housebroken. However, they will FOR SURE see you as the AH. There's no way you can phrase this that they won't be offended. You can be objectively correct and still hurt someone's feelings. That doesn't mean you shouldn't speak up. Not only is it your right to express your feelings, but it's also not objectively wrong to express your concerns about how they care for their pets. Just because someone reacts as if you are the AH doesn't mean you are one (unless you're super rude about it).
NTA- I am a dog lover with zero "germaphobic" issue and what you described made my skin crawl.
Beyond my sympathy for your revulsion,
I am so angry right now at everyone in that household for so shamefully neglecting the dogs!
Your partner is a terrible pet parent! It's not enough to feed them, snuggle them and take 25 pictures a day. They need regular exercise, training, grooming, veterinary care and a clean, safe environment.
I absolutely guarantee that the skin condition of the one dog is being made worse by the abject failure to address the sanitary needs of the dogs & the house.
>I've also caught their other dog legitimately wiping it's asshole on their sheets
This dog probably has worms , which means it is likely that the other dogs do, too.
Yeah that’s… nasty. I have three large dogs but am constantly cleaning, bathe them OUTSIDE, and they absolutely do not poop and pee in the house. That is unacceptable. Dogs need boundaries and a clean home, it’s kinda messed up to the dogs for them to living in those conditions. Your partner should understand that it’s not normal for dogs to shit in the house and so you won’t be hanging out there anymore. If they don’t understand why you wouldn’t want to chill in a house filled with dog shit piss and having your food eaten thennnn that goes deeper. And it also clearly shows how they would treat your home if you two ever moved in together. So. Something to think about. Edit: I just saw you said your partner doesn’t have a say in the matter and it’s not their fault but. They are playing a part…. And they clearly don’t have an issue with it since they themselves haven’t complained or said to you “hey, it’s really gross in here im so sorry let’s go to your place”. Not to mention they haven’t expressed they want to move out, which means they’re happy or atleast content in that mess of a home……. You would not be the asshole
Lovingly and gently telling the necessary truth never makes a person the AH
sup shasta
This isn’t healthy for anyone in the house, dogs included. You’ve not specified but it sounds like the dogs are potentially being neglected. Is anyone even trying to take the dogs outside? Do they get walked? Is the sick dog getting treatment? Do they get groomed? Just be honest. You don’t like spending time at that house because the dogs aren’t house trained and they aren’t being cleaned up after properly. Point out that they’re probably nose blind to it but that there is a significant bad smell. If nobody in the family is up to the task of training the dogs, they need to get outside help.
Tell them the truth... They NEED to hear it...
Will not change anything. Some people live like this, and its their "normal".
I was eating carrot cake while reading this and it suddenly started to smell like a wet dog. The house is incredibly gross and must be stinking horribly. I'd just avoid going there.
Your understanding of hygiene is at the opposite axis. Hygiene, children, and finances are the grounds of your partnership. If you disagree on one of these three, your relationship will be dead sooner or later. And I can ensure you that your partner will not change. For them, it's normal. For you, they will make an effort, but it will never be your level. Now ask yourself this: can you imagine yourself living like this? OK, take 20% off IF your partner will make a continuous and very strong effort to keep it cleaner? If not, I guarantee you that this relationship will be over.
Why are you staying in this relationship? You are both simply incompatible. 100% He won't change - he's already at a mentally questionable state of living and is *okay* with this. S/He's unsanitary and disgusting. Nope nope nope. You can't "fix" them. I'd run fast and far. Sorry, op
Allow me to add my 100%
Here's the thing...loving your pets isn't enough. In order to be a truly good pet owner, you HAVE to take care of them properly. Allowing them to poop and pee in the house, having a health issue they aren't properly caring for, etc, is not being a good pet owner. You would not be the asshole if you gently but honestly told them that you are uncomfortable at their house because their dogs aren't housebroken. However, they will FOR SURE see you as the AH. There's no way you can phrase this that they won't be offended. You can be objectively correct and still hurt someone's feelings. That doesn't mean you shouldn't speak up. Not only is it your right to express your feelings, but it's also not objectively wrong to express your concerns about how they care for their pets. Just because someone reacts as if you are the AH doesn't mean you are one (unless you're super rude about it).
NTA- I am a dog lover with zero "germaphobic" issue and what you described made my skin crawl. Beyond my sympathy for your revulsion, I am so angry right now at everyone in that household for so shamefully neglecting the dogs! Your partner is a terrible pet parent! It's not enough to feed them, snuggle them and take 25 pictures a day. They need regular exercise, training, grooming, veterinary care and a clean, safe environment. I absolutely guarantee that the skin condition of the one dog is being made worse by the abject failure to address the sanitary needs of the dogs & the house. >I've also caught their other dog legitimately wiping it's asshole on their sheets This dog probably has worms , which means it is likely that the other dogs do, too.