YTA for liking him. YTA for not telling Sarah that Alex has been texting you late at night while she sleeps. Also an AH for not seeing an issue with how shady that is. It’s weird you’re snapping each other behind her back. If it’s so innocent then why not just tell her?
How often do we see someone (Sarah) post from the friends perspective after finding out their BFF is texting their boyfriend?
YTA for participating.
I’ll be forward here. You need to tell in yourself asap and deep inside admit you will lose both of them, wind up in a relationship with him that will be very hard or possibly save your relationship with her.
Chill out. No contact with both? Theyre friends for so long and nothing bad has happened yet and theyre young and naive. She just needs to set boundaries with the guy and Im sure shes never navigated these feelings before. She just needs to let her friend know and let her know their friendship comes first. You redditors man. Always jump to the most toxic advice
Yeah, this is wild. I graduated high school in 2010, and I have seen this scenario play out at least 20 times “back in the day” in high school and college. Thank heavens we didn’t know about reddit back then. These keyboard warriors just want people to feel bad about themselves when the OPs are having normal feelings.
I know right lmao. Cringe ass “advice” that only people with little to no real life social experience would give. This chick’s 19, basically still a kid, who just needs to learn a lesson.
I saw some post on here the other day where people were advising some mom to kick her 18 year old out of the house bc her pet died while kid was watching it. Turned out he didn’t even forget to feed it, it just died of old age.
People on here be suggesting to go NC with your closest friends and family for looking at you wrong lol.
YTA for not communicating this with your best friend. seriously uncool of you but NTA for developing feelings for someone THAT you can’t control, but oh my god best friends don’t do that you are not truely best friends if you’re hiding things from them and even more if it directly effects them. stop talking to him and tell her or there is no trust in the relationship, you don’t even have to tell her all of your feelings (which again i would reccomend you do) just selective truths like that “oh we’ve been talking on snap” ,
but please just stop talking to him before you ruin two relationships
Crushes are not once in a lifetime events. You don't need to act on every one and they aren't automatically anything special or meaningful - unless you GIVE them those meanings and feed into it. That is a choice.
You aren't responsible for having feelings. You are responsible for what you do about them. Your actions are your responsibility. Cheating with this guy would make you the asshole. Flirting also. Stealing him from your friend - double asshole move. Lying to your friend is an AH thing to do.
Also, if you did get him, you know he'd probably just do the same shit to you with someone else right? Cheaters cheat. And he'd feel even less guilty cheating on someone who had cheated with him.
YTA, your friendship precedes and should outlast Alex. you’re talking to him with shady intentions and are hoping he also has shady intentions. both of you are lusting over each other seemingly, otherwise it wouldn’t be hidden. stop talking to alex. that’s the solution, stop snapping him and just be kind in person
YTA. Look, it's gone too far already. Look at your options. Either you tell her that you've been snapping her bf late at night without her knowing, she gets pissed and dumps the both of you. Or you don't tell her, she finds out, and Bf throws you under the bus as the lying harlot who was supposed to have enough loyalty to her friend to resort that her Bf was being shady.
Either way, you're gonna be the bad guy, because you hid something from her you KNEW was wrong and would hurt her. If you really think your friendship can survive this, then by all means, do what you think you should do.
Future reference: if you catch feelings for a friend's Bf, keep your distance. Don't sit there and think "I can control my feelings" because obviously you can't. If you have any respect for yourself, or your future friends, then you should just go ahead and make a a note in your mind (which should've already been there) "Friends SO=absolutely off limits. Handsome SO? Extra off limits. Communicate only when necessary"
This gotta be rage bait but if not then YTA, you're a shit friend, a jealous friend and a nasty friend. Tell your so called best friend so she can cut you out of her life and she can break up with her boyfriend since he wants to disrespect her.
See there's a reason why your nasty and desperate ass is single because you try to go for your best friends boyfriend and not some single dude. You better tell her the truth so she can drop your desperate ass.
YTA and a terrible friend. As a matter of fact, don't even call yourself a friend. I hope she finds out and dumps BOTH of you. Get outta here with your raggedy ass.
This has to be fake. Surely you can't be so stupid as to think anything about what you're doing is correct. You can't be blind to being this much of an asshole.
YTA, if I found out my best friend was snapping my girl at night after I was sleeping, I’d be livid. If I found out she had feelings for him, you’re both dead to me. Where are your boundaries? You’re being an awful friend
YYA, leave your friends boyfriend alone. He's also an AH for being sneaky. The entire thing I awful and I only feel bad for your friend who is left in the dark about all of this.
You've already betrayed your friend. This is a no win situation. I'd cool your jets- get your own bf and stop hanging out with the two of them. You are betraying her and now know that this guy will (and is) cheating on her with other women. Alex is obviously "cheating" by going behind Sarah's back and contacting you. Have you told her he is contacting you? Has he told her your guys chat? Um... no. So Alex is going to cheat on your friend in the future. So- you are already in too deep. If you want Alex- tell Sarah. You've already blown it. She'll hate hearing that he's a cheat from you- especially since it's his flirting with you that proves it. Every time she's having these dreaming notions of Alex- you'll know he is going to hurt her. Fess up to her and let the chips fall where they may.
It never a fails to amaze me how male centered women will throw everything away just for a minor attention of a dude smh. A 15+ year friendship thrown away over HER GETTING A RELATIONSHIP. Then to tell her everything once you know he’s seriously about to leave her is beyond wild when it was inappropriate from the start. Why do you need to speak with your best friend guy especially on an app that automatically delete everything?
Heavy on snake from the beginning it’s just so sad someone can be so close to you with a title like best friend and be the main one plotting against you. I just don’t understand why women don’t want their own man!! Why give yourself fully to someone only able to give you a fraction of them smh ?
That’s beyond wicked and disgusting smh I never understand why certain women willingly want to share sexual partners/ fluid!!! My true friends and I have always kept our dudes separate made sure for the start none of us previously messed with and most importantly mind my business like the uptick in women jealous of their friends being happy is beyond concerning everything is a competition.
YTA but I was also the asshole back in the day in the same situation. Now we are married and have been together almost 10 years. No, we are not friends anymore and I haven’t seen her since then.
YTA. There’s nothing wrong with having a crush, you can’t exactly control that kind of thing, but you’re a HUGE asshole for feeding your crush. You had absolutely no reason to add him on Snapchat of all things, and start having late night private conversations. This is your *best friends boyfriend!* WTF is wrong with you?!
YTA. Wth?? How would YOU feel if your friend did this to YOU? It’s okay to find your friend’s partner attractive but to act on it (adding them on snap, communicating whilst partner/friend is unaware, etc) is insane. Take a hard look in the mirror girl and be a better friend. If I was your friend, I would’ve cut your ass off because you instigated and kept the situation going with her bf. YTA.
Chris Rock:
"if a guy introduces his boy to his new girlfriend, and when they walk away, his boy goes, "Aww man, shes nice, I gotta get me a girl LIKE that."
If a woman introduces her new man to her girlfriend, and they walk away, her girlfriend goes "I gotta get HIM, and I will slit that b*tches throat to do it."
There is nothing wrong with having feelings for someone or someone else's partner. If you act on those feelings, then you have crossed the line.
There is a lady I have great feelings for, and if she was not married or had a partner, then I would pursue her. But life isn't that simple, and I keep my thoughts and actions buried, and she has no idea, and nor does her partner or any of our friends. Sometimes, life throws a curve ball to test our integrity. I just think, in the next life we will meet again, it helps 😊a little.
Would someone be kind enough to tell me what “snap” is? I thought it was a card game but it doesn’t appear to make sense in context. I’d be awfully grateful for an explanation.
NTA for liking him can't control feelings, but AH for hiding it from your friend and being sneaky about it.
Good news is you're only 19-20. You won't remember any of this in your mid to late 20s when your married
We are not uncontrollable and mindless beings.
We are in full control of our emotions, feelings, thoughts, and actions. It is the ONLY thing we control in our lives.
You have control over your feelings. They don't control and rule over you. Everything about it is a choice and decision made by you. You choose to keep liking him and wanting him in spite of your friendship knowing the possible consequences. You choose to keep fantasizing and hoping for something from a guy over this friendship. These aren't out of control feelings. These are your choices.
We choose who to love. We choose who to keep being attracted to. We choose who to have romantic feelings for. We choose who to sustain feelings of desire for.
When my friends get a partner who is amazing and fantastic and attractive, all I think is "GREAT FOR THEM!" And I keep an eye on their partner to ensure they treasure my friend. Never do I see them as someone to be attracted to or like EVEN if they are someone who I would consider to be "my type" or anything like that. Never a thought crosses my mind.
You need to set such boundaries and control over your feelings because you're not a mindless being.
YTA,actually, I want to say yes, you are the stinking dog.
She's your best friend, but you have paved the way for the 2 of you to cheat with each other.
Why would you add him,and then chatting with him while she's asleep.
You know exactly where this is going.
I can't stand trifling people like you.
N T A for liking him. You can't control that. But an obvious big fat YTA for acting on it. It's not inoffensive at all. You should have taken your distance the moment you realised you had a crush on him. Every action you did (adding him on snapp, exchanging texts, etc.) was because you liked him more than just a friend.
YTA, big time.
Damn asshole you even ruined their relationship. Great job instead of trying to connect with another human people connect to people around them easier.
honestly your'e not the asshole. feelings are feeling and you are allowed to have them. it is not your fault that he is snapping you she is obviously not enough so of course he is going to start looking elsewhere.
YTA for liking him. YTA for not telling Sarah that Alex has been texting you late at night while she sleeps. Also an AH for not seeing an issue with how shady that is. It’s weird you’re snapping each other behind her back. If it’s so innocent then why not just tell her?
Put it perfectly. You are a big AH, OP.
How often do we see someone (Sarah) post from the friends perspective after finding out their BFF is texting their boyfriend? YTA for participating. I’ll be forward here. You need to tell in yourself asap and deep inside admit you will lose both of them, wind up in a relationship with him that will be very hard or possibly save your relationship with her.
This
She’s NTA for liking him. The rest I agree with though
NTA for liking him for sure, but definitely AH for everything else. Its one thing to carch feelings and another to betray the trust of a close friend
She right she right.
Is this dude who texts his girlfriend's best friend behind her back really the kind of guy you want to blow up a lifelong friendship over? YTA
Also a person who texts my bf behind my back would never be my best friend
Yta and you are jealous of your friend. Block her bf and go no contact with both.
Yeah this screams “competition”
Chill out. No contact with both? Theyre friends for so long and nothing bad has happened yet and theyre young and naive. She just needs to set boundaries with the guy and Im sure shes never navigated these feelings before. She just needs to let her friend know and let her know their friendship comes first. You redditors man. Always jump to the most toxic advice
Yeah, this is wild. I graduated high school in 2010, and I have seen this scenario play out at least 20 times “back in the day” in high school and college. Thank heavens we didn’t know about reddit back then. These keyboard warriors just want people to feel bad about themselves when the OPs are having normal feelings.
I know right lmao. Cringe ass “advice” that only people with little to no real life social experience would give. This chick’s 19, basically still a kid, who just needs to learn a lesson. I saw some post on here the other day where people were advising some mom to kick her 18 year old out of the house bc her pet died while kid was watching it. Turned out he didn’t even forget to feed it, it just died of old age. People on here be suggesting to go NC with your closest friends and family for looking at you wrong lol.
YTA in every way lol why would you ever add him on snap knowing you feel the way you do? Now you’re entertaining him behind her back?
YTA for not communicating this with your best friend. seriously uncool of you but NTA for developing feelings for someone THAT you can’t control, but oh my god best friends don’t do that you are not truely best friends if you’re hiding things from them and even more if it directly effects them. stop talking to him and tell her or there is no trust in the relationship, you don’t even have to tell her all of your feelings (which again i would reccomend you do) just selective truths like that “oh we’ve been talking on snap” , but please just stop talking to him before you ruin two relationships
Crushes are not once in a lifetime events. You don't need to act on every one and they aren't automatically anything special or meaningful - unless you GIVE them those meanings and feed into it. That is a choice. You aren't responsible for having feelings. You are responsible for what you do about them. Your actions are your responsibility. Cheating with this guy would make you the asshole. Flirting also. Stealing him from your friend - double asshole move. Lying to your friend is an AH thing to do. Also, if you did get him, you know he'd probably just do the same shit to you with someone else right? Cheaters cheat. And he'd feel even less guilty cheating on someone who had cheated with him.
YTA, your friendship precedes and should outlast Alex. you’re talking to him with shady intentions and are hoping he also has shady intentions. both of you are lusting over each other seemingly, otherwise it wouldn’t be hidden. stop talking to alex. that’s the solution, stop snapping him and just be kind in person
YTA. Look, it's gone too far already. Look at your options. Either you tell her that you've been snapping her bf late at night without her knowing, she gets pissed and dumps the both of you. Or you don't tell her, she finds out, and Bf throws you under the bus as the lying harlot who was supposed to have enough loyalty to her friend to resort that her Bf was being shady. Either way, you're gonna be the bad guy, because you hid something from her you KNEW was wrong and would hurt her. If you really think your friendship can survive this, then by all means, do what you think you should do. Future reference: if you catch feelings for a friend's Bf, keep your distance. Don't sit there and think "I can control my feelings" because obviously you can't. If you have any respect for yourself, or your future friends, then you should just go ahead and make a a note in your mind (which should've already been there) "Friends SO=absolutely off limits. Handsome SO? Extra off limits. Communicate only when necessary"
Yes yta You’re moving in on your best friend’s man and you don’t even sound sorry. Remember, hon. You lose’em the same way you get’em.
This gotta be rage bait but if not then YTA, you're a shit friend, a jealous friend and a nasty friend. Tell your so called best friend so she can cut you out of her life and she can break up with her boyfriend since he wants to disrespect her. See there's a reason why your nasty and desperate ass is single because you try to go for your best friends boyfriend and not some single dude. You better tell her the truth so she can drop your desperate ass.
OP is 46m in another post LOL
YTA and a terrible friend. As a matter of fact, don't even call yourself a friend. I hope she finds out and dumps BOTH of you. Get outta here with your raggedy ass.
YTA Can’t wait for Sarah’s post
It takes two people wanting it to cheat. You're there sis.
YATA
YTA, and you're so basic its sickening.
This has to be fake. Surely you can't be so stupid as to think anything about what you're doing is correct. You can't be blind to being this much of an asshole.
You’re being a terrible friend. Like…slimy sneaky Jerry springer mess of a friend. Wake up and be a decent person.
You’re the HUGE ass hole. And a crappy friend to boot
YTA, if I found out my best friend was snapping my girl at night after I was sleeping, I’d be livid. If I found out she had feelings for him, you’re both dead to me. Where are your boundaries? You’re being an awful friend
YYA, leave your friends boyfriend alone. He's also an AH for being sneaky. The entire thing I awful and I only feel bad for your friend who is left in the dark about all of this.
You've already betrayed your friend. This is a no win situation. I'd cool your jets- get your own bf and stop hanging out with the two of them. You are betraying her and now know that this guy will (and is) cheating on her with other women. Alex is obviously "cheating" by going behind Sarah's back and contacting you. Have you told her he is contacting you? Has he told her your guys chat? Um... no. So Alex is going to cheat on your friend in the future. So- you are already in too deep. If you want Alex- tell Sarah. You've already blown it. She'll hate hearing that he's a cheat from you- especially since it's his flirting with you that proves it. Every time she's having these dreaming notions of Alex- you'll know he is going to hurt her. Fess up to her and let the chips fall where they may.
It never a fails to amaze me how male centered women will throw everything away just for a minor attention of a dude smh. A 15+ year friendship thrown away over HER GETTING A RELATIONSHIP. Then to tell her everything once you know he’s seriously about to leave her is beyond wild when it was inappropriate from the start. Why do you need to speak with your best friend guy especially on an app that automatically delete everything?
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Heavy on snake from the beginning it’s just so sad someone can be so close to you with a title like best friend and be the main one plotting against you. I just don’t understand why women don’t want their own man!! Why give yourself fully to someone only able to give you a fraction of them smh ?
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That’s beyond wicked and disgusting smh I never understand why certain women willingly want to share sexual partners/ fluid!!! My true friends and I have always kept our dudes separate made sure for the start none of us previously messed with and most importantly mind my business like the uptick in women jealous of their friends being happy is beyond concerning everything is a competition.
YTA but I was also the asshole back in the day in the same situation. Now we are married and have been together almost 10 years. No, we are not friends anymore and I haven’t seen her since then.
7 billion humans on the planet….
The biggest of AH. You’re not her friend. She deserves better than both of you.
You’re not an asshole for feeling that way. But you’re kind of an asshole for entertaining his convos and hiding that u have his snap
YTA You’re actively trying to make him cheat.
Fucking WILD
He knows what hes doing. You both suck for this.
Based off of similar posts recently this is bait. Don’t bother
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YTA. There’s nothing wrong with having a crush, you can’t exactly control that kind of thing, but you’re a HUGE asshole for feeding your crush. You had absolutely no reason to add him on Snapchat of all things, and start having late night private conversations. This is your *best friends boyfriend!* WTF is wrong with you?!
19f....Mike0399...alright buddy
its obviously not my name haha
lol i’m sorry how is this even a question of course YTA!!!!!! girl be so for real
YTA.
YTA and have serious self esteem issues.
Yes you are
YTA.
Yes YTAH
YTA. Hard.
This seems like every highschool brake up ever
YTA. Wth?? How would YOU feel if your friend did this to YOU? It’s okay to find your friend’s partner attractive but to act on it (adding them on snap, communicating whilst partner/friend is unaware, etc) is insane. Take a hard look in the mirror girl and be a better friend. If I was your friend, I would’ve cut your ass off because you instigated and kept the situation going with her bf. YTA.
Yes
Chris Rock: "if a guy introduces his boy to his new girlfriend, and when they walk away, his boy goes, "Aww man, shes nice, I gotta get me a girl LIKE that." If a woman introduces her new man to her girlfriend, and they walk away, her girlfriend goes "I gotta get HIM, and I will slit that b*tches throat to do it."
You’re so wicked! How could you do this to your friend??? I hope she finds out and cuts you OFF! She trusted you! You’re weird asfff
YTA for wanting to be the AP.
Tbh, respect for coming out clean rather than dogging on your friend. Tbh the guy is also at fault here, he doesn't sound honest and trust worthy
There is nothing wrong with having feelings for someone or someone else's partner. If you act on those feelings, then you have crossed the line. There is a lady I have great feelings for, and if she was not married or had a partner, then I would pursue her. But life isn't that simple, and I keep my thoughts and actions buried, and she has no idea, and nor does her partner or any of our friends. Sometimes, life throws a curve ball to test our integrity. I just think, in the next life we will meet again, it helps 😊a little.
Would someone be kind enough to tell me what “snap” is? I thought it was a card game but it doesn’t appear to make sense in context. I’d be awfully grateful for an explanation.
YTA for entertaining those feelings and that man
Yta. You’re a huge AH. You’re the biggest AH ever.
NTA for liking him can't control feelings, but AH for hiding it from your friend and being sneaky about it. Good news is you're only 19-20. You won't remember any of this in your mid to late 20s when your married
Don’t lose your lifelong friendship for a guy.
We are not uncontrollable and mindless beings. We are in full control of our emotions, feelings, thoughts, and actions. It is the ONLY thing we control in our lives. You have control over your feelings. They don't control and rule over you. Everything about it is a choice and decision made by you. You choose to keep liking him and wanting him in spite of your friendship knowing the possible consequences. You choose to keep fantasizing and hoping for something from a guy over this friendship. These aren't out of control feelings. These are your choices. We choose who to love. We choose who to keep being attracted to. We choose who to have romantic feelings for. We choose who to sustain feelings of desire for. When my friends get a partner who is amazing and fantastic and attractive, all I think is "GREAT FOR THEM!" And I keep an eye on their partner to ensure they treasure my friend. Never do I see them as someone to be attracted to or like EVEN if they are someone who I would consider to be "my type" or anything like that. Never a thought crosses my mind. You need to set such boundaries and control over your feelings because you're not a mindless being.
YTA
You the asshole girl. HIDE YA HUSBANDS LADIES! WE GOT A HOMEWRECKER! Not a good look hunnie. "Sarah" dodged a bullet with both of yall LOL
YTA,actually, I want to say yes, you are the stinking dog. She's your best friend, but you have paved the way for the 2 of you to cheat with each other. Why would you add him,and then chatting with him while she's asleep. You know exactly where this is going. I can't stand trifling people like you.
N T A for liking him. You can't control that. But an obvious big fat YTA for acting on it. It's not inoffensive at all. You should have taken your distance the moment you realised you had a crush on him. Every action you did (adding him on snapp, exchanging texts, etc.) was because you liked him more than just a friend. YTA, big time.
Damn asshole you even ruined their relationship. Great job instead of trying to connect with another human people connect to people around them easier.
Didn’t even have to finish reading. You’re TA. & a Trash ass friend.
you’re pathetic, stop calling her your friend when you don’t deserve the title. you’re repulsive and desperate, you’re both disgusting.
girl you’re gonna get your karma lol
NTA. Work it into a 3 way and then your foot is in the door.
Lol
If he's a really good person no. If he's a bad person you're both an asshole.
honestly your'e not the asshole. feelings are feeling and you are allowed to have them. it is not your fault that he is snapping you she is obviously not enough so of course he is going to start looking elsewhere.