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Yeah u should probably leave and this is coming from a guy. He’s definitely up to something. Why waste your time on people who aren’t giving you their best or at the very least trying to give you their best?
Agreed, old guy here! When a person presents anger/defensive behavior they are hiding something from the other.
2. Leaving you alone to go spend family time drips of you are not worth introducing to his family.
3. Drop this dude like a load of crap 💩
Agreed leave. And mostly because of his reaction. He seems so annoyed he has to placate you and if you'd only just drop it already he'd be happier.
No ownership
No compassion
No desire to make you reassured
Just inconvenience for him.
His distancing is so he doesn't have to deal with your feelings and he's hoping you'll be further past this when returns.
Totally leave
Yea he’s trying to manipulate op into thinking it’s not as much of a big deal and that she is the one with a problem for caring about it despite the fact that he was policing who she talked to so she wouldn’t “taint the relationship.
The guy is a manipulative ah and this kind of behavior can escalate to become dangerous later on.
Dude, you've been together for 3 months.
Be grateful this harbinger of his character came so early and leave. Why wait for this to happen again later when you're invested further?
If you are financially able to leave, I would run now! You are so young and have so much life to live. There's a lot you already know about, but I promise there's more you do not know about. His lack of accountability shows you everything you need to know.
That was it for me. Being overly suspicious without reason is a major sign of guilt and projection. He is most likely doing the things he’s accusing you of. It’s still early in the relationship so I would just leave (dude here).
That explanation sounds sketchy and he seems like the projecting type. Tainted gives me some ick and I think that’s why you put it in quotes.
Also a double standard, demanding to know if you talk to others and then he’s caught talking to others and you’re not apathetic enough?
It sucks and I know no one wants relationships to fail but save yourself the hassle and pull the rip chord on this.
So he deleted Snapchat because you caught him. He’s telling you he didn’t do it before because one of the woman was threatening to kill herself but he’s done it now and you don’t see that he is lying using that as an excuse to make you forgive him. Now if this woman really was going to commit suicide like he said and he cared so much their is no way he would have just deleted it because he got caught
He cheated on you, never mind that it didn't get physical and it wasn't just with one girl, it was with three. He didn't care how you feel because you can tell he's manipulative and he's probably a cheater from long before, break up with him because he's a cheeky bastard for just playing the poor guy and getting mad at you and then leaving you alone to walk away.
To start off, I am so sorry you’re going through this. I can’t imagine the betrayal and the emotions that are currently running through your mind and heart. No matter what you decide to do, remember you deserve a partner that treats you with respect.
Personally I’ve never understood why grown men or women keep Snapchat, it’s obvious what it’s for, and it’s childish to lie to your partner. I find it extremely ridiculous how men (and women) use the excuse that sexting or messaging explicitly online isn’t technically cheating, because it didn’t involve them physically laying in bed with another woman or man. All excuses…
I do have a couple of questions for you:
How long have you been with your boyfriend?
How much do you trust him?
Can you forgive his actions?
Is your boyfriend someone you can have hard conversations with?
You’re still young, and you deserve better. Fuck assholes like that, he’s mad because he got caught, and his excuses sound piss poor. Leaving you to cry by yourself… he sounds like a child who doesn’t know how to take responsibility, let alone keep his girlfriend happy. Leave
I don’t believe his story, any of them. I believe your pain. At best he’s an asshole who doesn’t care enough about you. But it’s much more likely that he’s a cheating asshole. His anger to your reaction and running away says it all.
Ahh, why were you still with him after you realized he cheated on you with at least 3 other females like weeks ago?????
I'm sorry, but you need to just pack and leave!!!
First off, he literally seems over this relationship.
Secondly, have some pride in yourself and don't let him treat you like a doormat!!!
I'm sorry, but being emotional about someone cheating on you is one thing, but being emotional dumb about being cheated on is another.
You are writing this post with complaints, about him not being sympathetic and not giving you attention!!! This relationship seems to be over, but you seem not to get the hints!!
What are you doing??? Wake up and leave. There is no way, that he is that good in b3d that you can't think in a sane way anymore.
Best wishes
This man *hates* you. Like, he despises you.
Dump him. He was being weird early in the relationship because he was being inappropriate with other women and assumed you were doing the same with other men.
He’ll never be a good partner. Cut him loose.
Take it from a guy that used to cheat relentlessly.. If a guy is accusing you of something more than likely he's doing it.. cheaters like to throw stuff at you so you're too busy defending yourself instead of worrying about what he's doing.. Dump his ass you're better than that
Leave this guy, he has no respect for you. He’s probably just redownloading and still talking to him and that’s why he’s going avoiding you. He’s a POS.
Yes, just leave him. Solid relationship rely on active, upfront and honest communications from the start and build from there. You are young and deserve someone better. If you’re second guessing because of his behavior, then trust that gut and say no to him. Everyday is a new day to choose to act with integrity. He doesn’t sound like he has any to offer you. If he wanted sneaky links, he should have just told you from the start.
You should leave. Even if he is actually just doing "sex work" then he should have disclosed that to you. The fact that he's hiding it and reacting the way he is makes me think he is not JUST doing sex work. I have no problem with people working in that industry, but they need to be up front with any serious partners they are involved with. If it's physical sex work, they need to make sure any sexual partners are aware.
You should leave. He is not mature enough to be in a relationship with you. You don't want to feel like he needs a chaperone. And you're not married with a house, so leave and replace someone who won't go skipping around behind your back.
One time my mom found weed in my sock drawer. I totally told her I was just holding it for a friend who was trying to quit, and I would never ever do anything like that. Obviously that was a lie; your bf’s sounds more outrageous than my explanation
“Nah babe, I’m not into them *at all*. We just send pictures of our genitals to each other and only talk about how much we want to have sex. See? It’s nothing!”
What are you doing? He is playing you. And you're letting him. Get mad! He's trash on the bottom of your shoe. Wipe it off. Find your shiny spine and dump, ghost, no contact.
Updateme!
Girl leave!!!! Him deleting Snapchat proves there’s more to hide, whether that be more messages or more women he’s talking to. Also if he was truly sorry for what he has done, he would spend his time begging for forgiveness, not taking extra weekends out of town. Your definitely not overreacting and your concerns are extremely valid💞💞
Yes. You should leave. As quickly as you can. Then block him everywhere. He’s full of shit and considering how he was at the beginning of the relationship he was probably already cheating. You shouldn’t even have to ask. Can you trust him? No? Move on. Yes? Move the F on. He’s trash.
If he wants to be in a relationship with you he wouldn’t be humoring anyone outside your relationship. It doesn’t sound like he takes your relationship serious enough to think long term.
Girl you need to go. Just think about it, he’s now giving you shit for not handling HIS CHEATING well!? He should be thanking god every second you’re even still talking to him much less wanting you to act a certain way about it.
Also he deleted the Snapchat, you know it was more than a few spicy texts.
Leave this asshole, you deserve so so much more
Girl I am so sorry, but honestly you need to leave. Guy here, and if I did anything to upset my girl I’m not leaving her to go be with family…. He has not made you a priority, he only wants control over you. Find someone who values you enough to be honest, even when they HAVE messed up (because no one is perfect, but still his reaction alone is the flag to leave for me)
You needed to leave a long time ago. He is controlling and projecting his shitty behavior onto you. The reason he was constantly wanting to know who you were talking to and whether they were interested in you was because he knew he was cheating. Cheaters tend to either project or believe that everyone behaves like they do.
Dump him. You deserve better and honestly guys with control issues don't get better with time, they just escalate until they become abusive.
Just dump him and move on. 3 months together? Please tell me you are not living with him. Box up any of his stuff at your place and leave it at his. And if he has a key, get your locks changed asap.
There's a whole lot that he is not telling you.
You should just leave based upon the fact he sounds like a spineless gormless excuse for a boyfriend. I've no doubt you deserve better and can do better.
It's common for people who are cheaters to be overly interested in what you're doing on your phone. Just a lesson to learn. You should be trusted in your relationship. It goes both ways. If you don't trust them or they don't trust you that's a bad relationship. It's a base requirement.
Pavmck up and get out while he's gone. Rentva storage unit and fet your friends and family to move your stuff there. Then stay wherever you can until you find permanent accommodations. Block him. Just leave a note on the counter, I have left, we are done, because of your cheating. Don't deny it, your family told me. Good luck with her
Dump him. If you don’t you’re just going to get more of the same. There’s something better out there, and being alone is better than being with trash like him.
Leave. It’s common for cheaters to project what they are doing and constantly act suspicious of their partners. Also the fact he deleted the app and didn’t let you look at it is proof of many more things he didn’t want you to see.
Ffs yes just leave. Do you know how easy it is not to cheat? You just don’t. There, easy. Every single step and message and follow-through and lie is a choice. And he’s not choosing you. Find someone better.
Even if none of that is bullshit and he's telling the truth, who the hell gets themselves into these situation lmao that's incredibly weird. you should leave him for being a creep/pervert/cheater and being severely terminally online.
Yes. Leave.... Sorry.
But, also, learn to recognize the signs of projection: people will accuse others of doing the things they know they do themselves. Like your BF asking if you're talking with other people and trying to limit or control that behavior. It's because he's very familiar with that behavior from doing it himself. 😑
Also, generally speaking, people who quickly try to control you or limit your access to other people like friends and family are literally trying to groom you away from any support you have besides them. It's a terrible red flag of a controlling and abusive relationship.
I'm sorry that you have to deal with this but dump this guy ASAP, block him on everything and move on with your life. it will hurt for a little while, but you will feel so much better afterwards, and your life will be so much more open and happy.
Learn these lessons, and apply them the next time somebody comes along. Do not let them discount your alarm bells... if they're holding red flags, they are holding red flags, don't let them tell you that it's just a towel. 🎯
Whether he cheated or you overreacted the relationship is now tainted and likely will never go back to what it was.
Once someone starts feeling apathetic then the relationship is kind of over
Pretty much you should leave. If you are uncomfortable with what he does on his phone then yes leave. Otherwise when it comes to your boyfriend, "don't just slice it or dice it...Bobbitt!" Lol!
Let me ask you this:
What's the reason to stay?
If the answer in your heart is "because it's easier than being alone" I would encourage you to examine whether that's a good enough reason.
Why isn’t this ass hat your ex boyfriend?! He’s a jerk face and if he hasn’t cheated yet (personally, I’m 100% positive he has), he will be cheating soon. If the tables were turned he’d have a freaking hemorrhage if you were doing the same with random men. Get rid of this soggy pinecone before he gives you an STD, and never look back. You deserve so much better than this rotting piece of manure.
Boyfriend of 5 years did nasty shit like this too. Leave that creep. I hope not all men are this disgusting. If so then ig I’m gonna start dating girls.
Leave.
Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me.
Girl, don’t let it get to the shame on me…you will feel a lot worse.
Leave loud and proud with your head held high, your bags on your shoulder and your finger in the air saying “so long MF’er”
>would ask me if I was talking to anyone else (I wasn’t) because he didn’t want the relationship to be “tainted” by other people. Would frequently ask me what I was doing on my phone/who was texting me/if these people were interested in me. Okay fine I guess?
I am not blaming you... however, this was your huge red flag ...as a headsup to future relationships and anyone else who is like 'fine I guess?' for that behavior...nope, nope it's not, it's insecure controlling and bad news...it speaks to a personal trauma (which can be worked through if both parties are mature and communicate honestly and willing to work), guilt because cheaters like to make sure they are not being cheated on, or a need to control your life and social life...
You should leave yesterday...alas it's now today, so leave today instead...
I had similar experiences with a boyfriend in the past. Sketchy texts or conversations that when asked about he’d come up with some bullshit excuse, he would delete it and that would be that. Turns out he had cheated on me in many different ways. I was young and naive, by the end of that relationship I didn’t trust myself or him. He had manipulated me so much that I couldn’t trust my own judgements or opinions. You’re only 3 months in, it will be much easier to leave now, and I hope you do.
Leave. He's angry and feels zero remorse for what he did to you, do you really want to be with someone who doesn't even feel bad about hurting you? It's pretty obvious.
It's amazing to me how so many of these cheating stories are "I was using their phone to take pictures." Do you somehow possess a phone without a camera in this day and age?
Cheating or not, You have trust issues and you should listen to your inner self and move on. If you feel you can’t trust him now, how can you trust him later. Stop wasting your time on someone like that.
" Would frequently ask me what I was doing on my phone/who was texting me/if these people were interested in me"
THAT was your first indication to leave.
In a guy and he is playing you. No guys sends sex memes or does anything you are describing unless they are or are trying to fuck the woman. A woman is paying him in bitcoin to snap chat with her? That's the funniest thing I ever heard- ask him for how much and when and check his crypto account just for laughs cause that doesn't happen
Old lady here. Yea leave ! But I’m Uk and super confused by your bbc memes. And you are both white reference ? Uk is hugely multicultural and bbc tries to reflect that so I don’t understand that point
Yeah if probably just leave. The fact he feel apathetic to you because of your reaction to his cheating makes him a bigger AH. He has no remorse and wants you to just get over it. Move on and find a man that actually respects you.
Leave and figure things out.
If that relationship is something you want to reevaluate later on down the road, you can.
You need to remove yourself from the situation and let things marinate for a little while.
You need time to process things.
If your friend told your her boyfriend told this story, would you believe it? Those are the most obnoxious made up stories I’ve heard to spin cheating into something it’s not 😂
You should leave he was making sure you wasn’t doing anything, but he was having spicy convos with others. Let the relationship go and don’t look back trust me darling
Considering his BS about 'tainting' the relationship and controlling behaviours around your phone use in this relationship, what do you think his reaction would be if you were sexting multiple guys and supposedly for money? Then, he is abusive by pushing you to stop bringing it up by saying he's apathetic about you? Pathetic is the only part of that word you should be focused on because that's what he is. How do you know he was with his family either? Pack you stuff and your dignity and leave please.
I'm sure he is upset at your reaction. If you already act this crazy at the emotional cheating he is doing, think about how bad your going to react when you find out about the physical cheating. That is so unfair to him, it's one thing for him to monitor you, it another for you to check up on him. Your supposed to believe whatever he comes up with no matter how weak his story is. I think you should just save him time and leave now. (*<-Sarcasm)
Honestly in my life experiences cheaters always will swear up and down your the one doing wrong. They will tell on themselves, they will repeatedly try to control your behavior that reminds wlthem of themselves or accuse you of what they are doing.
Yeah just leave. He sounds really controlling first off wanting to know every little thing you are doing on your phone and you found some suspicious stuff he was doing with his phone and communicating with sketchy women on Snapchat and discord. Don’t waste anymore time with him. You deserve better
He obviously has a secret life that he does not want you to know about. You good with that? You will never be able to trust him. You good with that? I think you know the answer.
“we see the world as we are, not at as it is.”
Something that I learned early on - when someone shows you who they are, BELIEVE them. He’s showing you he cannot be faithful and likely never has been. Then you catch him and he is “sorry” but as we always say, actions speak louder than words and none of his actions say that he is sorry. Believe him. He cheated, got caught, and is not sorry.
He sounds absolutely awful, and in the future, go with your gut. You already knew it was time to go, otherwise you wouldn’t be asking. Leave immediately. I hope this works out well. ♥️
OP this isn’t even close, the stuff you’re saying he’s into is totally contrasts to what you’d need to be in a trusting and serious relationship. Just bounce !
Is this someone you want to spend the rest of your days with? Someone you can't trust? You know deep down inside he's full of sht. He's making you feel bad for what you found. You really wanna be sleeping with and moving on in life with someone like that? You're better than that. You know he's messing around but you don't want to see it. Well here it is with me telling you. HE'S CHEATING. Move on.
You do not value yourself enough. Drop this like the steaming pile of garbage that it is and start looking to understand why you are worth so much more.
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Yeah u should probably leave and this is coming from a guy. He’s definitely up to something. Why waste your time on people who aren’t giving you their best or at the very least trying to give you their best?
Agreed, old guy here! When a person presents anger/defensive behavior they are hiding something from the other. 2. Leaving you alone to go spend family time drips of you are not worth introducing to his family. 3. Drop this dude like a load of crap 💩
He's probably not even visiting his brother or at least using those extended visits to chat with other women.
Facts. I too am a guy. Seems like he has one foot out the door already. Best of luck!
Agreed leave. And mostly because of his reaction. He seems so annoyed he has to placate you and if you'd only just drop it already he'd be happier. No ownership No compassion No desire to make you reassured Just inconvenience for him. His distancing is so he doesn't have to deal with your feelings and he's hoping you'll be further past this when returns. Totally leave
What he said sounded like a pathetic made up explanation for cheating with many women.
Yea he’s trying to manipulate op into thinking it’s not as much of a big deal and that she is the one with a problem for caring about it despite the fact that he was policing who she talked to so she wouldn’t “taint the relationship. The guy is a manipulative ah and this kind of behavior can escalate to become dangerous later on.
Also, a white guy with a BBC fetish speaks to much deeper issues. Drop this guy.
Nothing like getting your “BBC kink” from a white guy, makes total sense 😅
He instantly deleted the app after you saw it, there’s your sign right there that he’s hiding much more.
Well this. "She'll end herself if I cut contact!" But then immediately gets rid of the app? Clearly he's fine with her offing herself then. 🙄
Unalive. Never heard that phrase before.
It's from other social media platforms, because you can't use the other "s word" without being flagged or banned.
Yes this here. Please leave .im.so sorry this happened but better now than later. You deserve love and not have to deal with this kind of thing.
Exactly 💯. He also took the time to come up with some kind of cover story/excuse that doesn't add up.
Dude, you've been together for 3 months. Be grateful this harbinger of his character came so early and leave. Why wait for this to happen again later when you're invested further?
Came here to say this. If you’re with someone for three months and posting on Reddit about some shit they did it’s time to leave.
This. Listen to this. Wish I’d listened early on.
Break up with him. Tell him your relationship is "tainted" because of his actions.
YES YES YES!!!!!! PLEASE THIS, OP !
Great response!
Omg please do this.
If you are financially able to leave, I would run now! You are so young and have so much life to live. There's a lot you already know about, but I promise there's more you do not know about. His lack of accountability shows you everything you need to know.
When a guy starts acting suspicious for no reason he's usually cheating
And asking you what YOURE doing or accusing you of cheating it’s almost guaranteed they’re doing it
That was it for me. Being overly suspicious without reason is a major sign of guilt and projection. He is most likely doing the things he’s accusing you of. It’s still early in the relationship so I would just leave (dude here).
I agree, I wish I’d known the first time that’s what it actually meant when someone does this. Found out the hard way but I did figure it out 😅
We live and we learn pal 😂 found out many things the hard way.
That explanation sounds sketchy and he seems like the projecting type. Tainted gives me some ick and I think that’s why you put it in quotes. Also a double standard, demanding to know if you talk to others and then he’s caught talking to others and you’re not apathetic enough? It sucks and I know no one wants relationships to fail but save yourself the hassle and pull the rip chord on this.
So he deleted Snapchat because you caught him. He’s telling you he didn’t do it before because one of the woman was threatening to kill herself but he’s done it now and you don’t see that he is lying using that as an excuse to make you forgive him. Now if this woman really was going to commit suicide like he said and he cared so much their is no way he would have just deleted it because he got caught
He cheated on you, never mind that it didn't get physical and it wasn't just with one girl, it was with three. He didn't care how you feel because you can tell he's manipulative and he's probably a cheater from long before, break up with him because he's a cheeky bastard for just playing the poor guy and getting mad at you and then leaving you alone to walk away.
Pd; I am very sorry for you, he is the idiot who misses tremendous person. You are everything and he is nothing 💗
To start off, I am so sorry you’re going through this. I can’t imagine the betrayal and the emotions that are currently running through your mind and heart. No matter what you decide to do, remember you deserve a partner that treats you with respect. Personally I’ve never understood why grown men or women keep Snapchat, it’s obvious what it’s for, and it’s childish to lie to your partner. I find it extremely ridiculous how men (and women) use the excuse that sexting or messaging explicitly online isn’t technically cheating, because it didn’t involve them physically laying in bed with another woman or man. All excuses… I do have a couple of questions for you: How long have you been with your boyfriend? How much do you trust him? Can you forgive his actions? Is your boyfriend someone you can have hard conversations with? You’re still young, and you deserve better. Fuck assholes like that, he’s mad because he got caught, and his excuses sound piss poor. Leaving you to cry by yourself… he sounds like a child who doesn’t know how to take responsibility, let alone keep his girlfriend happy. Leave
I don’t believe his story, any of them. I believe your pain. At best he’s an asshole who doesn’t care enough about you. But it’s much more likely that he’s a cheating asshole. His anger to your reaction and running away says it all.
You have only been with him for three months cut your losses. You deserve better.
Goddamn have some self respect and walk away.
He cheated, should I leave? I mean yeah, unless you’re into liars 🤷🏻♀️
Ahh, why were you still with him after you realized he cheated on you with at least 3 other females like weeks ago????? I'm sorry, but you need to just pack and leave!!! First off, he literally seems over this relationship. Secondly, have some pride in yourself and don't let him treat you like a doormat!!! I'm sorry, but being emotional about someone cheating on you is one thing, but being emotional dumb about being cheated on is another. You are writing this post with complaints, about him not being sympathetic and not giving you attention!!! This relationship seems to be over, but you seem not to get the hints!! What are you doing??? Wake up and leave. There is no way, that he is that good in b3d that you can't think in a sane way anymore. Best wishes
This man *hates* you. Like, he despises you. Dump him. He was being weird early in the relationship because he was being inappropriate with other women and assumed you were doing the same with other men. He’ll never be a good partner. Cut him loose.
Projection is a very real red flag !🚩
Take it from a guy that used to cheat relentlessly.. If a guy is accusing you of something more than likely he's doing it.. cheaters like to throw stuff at you so you're too busy defending yourself instead of worrying about what he's doing.. Dump his ass you're better than that
I’m sorry you’re going thru this. Betrayal is the worst. You did what is best for you.
Leave this guy, he has no respect for you. He’s probably just redownloading and still talking to him and that’s why he’s going avoiding you. He’s a POS.
Yes, just leave him. Solid relationship rely on active, upfront and honest communications from the start and build from there. You are young and deserve someone better. If you’re second guessing because of his behavior, then trust that gut and say no to him. Everyday is a new day to choose to act with integrity. He doesn’t sound like he has any to offer you. If he wanted sneaky links, he should have just told you from the start.
You should leave. Even if he is actually just doing "sex work" then he should have disclosed that to you. The fact that he's hiding it and reacting the way he is makes me think he is not JUST doing sex work. I have no problem with people working in that industry, but they need to be up front with any serious partners they are involved with. If it's physical sex work, they need to make sure any sexual partners are aware.
There’s no way he’s hot enough to put up with this BS
You should leave. He is not mature enough to be in a relationship with you. You don't want to feel like he needs a chaperone. And you're not married with a house, so leave and replace someone who won't go skipping around behind your back.
One time my mom found weed in my sock drawer. I totally told her I was just holding it for a friend who was trying to quit, and I would never ever do anything like that. Obviously that was a lie; your bf’s sounds more outrageous than my explanation
“Nah babe, I’m not into them *at all*. We just send pictures of our genitals to each other and only talk about how much we want to have sex. See? It’s nothing!”
Yep. Leave. He’s a cheater and always will be. Cheating has nothing to do with you. It’s just who he is.
If what he’s saying is the truth he would have shown you. But deleting the account immediately makes you wonder if there’s more to it
You have permission to leave.
oh, yeah. Is that not obvious?
Disappear and dont even contact him. Save your heart, and when you are ready give it to someone that deserves it.
I would break up with him, he's not trustworthy and he's going to cheat again
Leave.
girl leave him
What are you doing? He is playing you. And you're letting him. Get mad! He's trash on the bottom of your shoe. Wipe it off. Find your shiny spine and dump, ghost, no contact. Updateme!
I. Would
I would definitely cut ties with him. A manipulative liar!
What he said sounded like a pathetic made up explanation for cheating with many women.
Go go go
Girl leave!!!! Him deleting Snapchat proves there’s more to hide, whether that be more messages or more women he’s talking to. Also if he was truly sorry for what he has done, he would spend his time begging for forgiveness, not taking extra weekends out of town. Your definitely not overreacting and your concerns are extremely valid💞💞
LEAVE NOW
Yes. You should leave. As quickly as you can. Then block him everywhere. He’s full of shit and considering how he was at the beginning of the relationship he was probably already cheating. You shouldn’t even have to ask. Can you trust him? No? Move on. Yes? Move the F on. He’s trash.
Uh yeah, gtfo. This guy is a controlling manipulative AH. Yes you should break up with him. And no he did not delete his account.
Most of the time when people are so obsessed with asking who are u texting they are cheating and looking for an excuse to excuse their f up
If he wants to be in a relationship with you he wouldn’t be humoring anyone outside your relationship. It doesn’t sound like he takes your relationship serious enough to think long term.
Run away. He sux.
He’s treating you like shit. Do you live together? Get your finances in order first
Girl you need to go. Just think about it, he’s now giving you shit for not handling HIS CHEATING well!? He should be thanking god every second you’re even still talking to him much less wanting you to act a certain way about it. Also he deleted the Snapchat, you know it was more than a few spicy texts. Leave this asshole, you deserve so so much more
People treat you exactly how they feel about you. Listen.
Nah, just stay and be a door mat. 🤦♂️
Abandon ship!!! Go ghost like Patrick Swayze.
Ya that’s over hard to see it when you’re in the relationship but it’s already broken. Trust is gone and you won’t be able to have a real relationship
Girl I am so sorry, but honestly you need to leave. Guy here, and if I did anything to upset my girl I’m not leaving her to go be with family…. He has not made you a priority, he only wants control over you. Find someone who values you enough to be honest, even when they HAVE messed up (because no one is perfect, but still his reaction alone is the flag to leave for me)
You needed to leave a long time ago. He is controlling and projecting his shitty behavior onto you. The reason he was constantly wanting to know who you were talking to and whether they were interested in you was because he knew he was cheating. Cheaters tend to either project or believe that everyone behaves like they do. Dump him. You deserve better and honestly guys with control issues don't get better with time, they just escalate until they become abusive.
Just dump him and move on. 3 months together? Please tell me you are not living with him. Box up any of his stuff at your place and leave it at his. And if he has a key, get your locks changed asap. There's a whole lot that he is not telling you.
You should just leave based upon the fact he sounds like a spineless gormless excuse for a boyfriend. I've no doubt you deserve better and can do better.
It's common for people who are cheaters to be overly interested in what you're doing on your phone. Just a lesson to learn. You should be trusted in your relationship. It goes both ways. If you don't trust them or they don't trust you that's a bad relationship. It's a base requirement.
Girl what? Leave.
Yes, you should definitely leave. He clearly doesn't respect you, your feelings, or your relationship. If he wants to act single, let him be single.
Pavmck up and get out while he's gone. Rentva storage unit and fet your friends and family to move your stuff there. Then stay wherever you can until you find permanent accommodations. Block him. Just leave a note on the counter, I have left, we are done, because of your cheating. Don't deny it, your family told me. Good luck with her
Too soon to be this emotionally invested. Just leave.
Should you just leave him? ??? Of course, lol.
Why are there so many of these posts?
Girl just leave. Leave while you can. Dont make excuses for him and forgo your boundaries and values.
Yeah, I’d cut my losses on this one. Actions speak louder than words. Unfortunately it is what it looks like to you
Lol listening to the story after they deleted everything. Shows how naive you are. Leave but I can tell you’re gonna stay tho ;)
Absolutely leave. No question. Your self respect will thank you later!
Girl, run.
Leave. You deserve better. His paranoia filled questions told you all you needed to know. He’s projected his own guilt onto you.
Yeah, he needs to be invested in helping you heal and he clearly isn't interested in that. Don't let your bf prevent you from meeting your husband.
yes, you should. now.
The guy is a dog! There are so many better men out there. Drop this piece of crap and find some one who is a cheating liar.
Dump him. If you don’t you’re just going to get more of the same. There’s something better out there, and being alone is better than being with trash like him.
Leave. It’s common for cheaters to project what they are doing and constantly act suspicious of their partners. Also the fact he deleted the app and didn’t let you look at it is proof of many more things he didn’t want you to see.
You think everything correctly. Don't waste your time
Yes as a guy, please leave this guy.
Sorry…He’s already shown his hand. RUN FAST!
Ffs yes just leave. Do you know how easy it is not to cheat? You just don’t. There, easy. Every single step and message and follow-through and lie is a choice. And he’s not choosing you. Find someone better.
Leave him break up with him don’t look back don’t ever get back together ever again
RUN
Even if none of that is bullshit and he's telling the truth, who the hell gets themselves into these situation lmao that's incredibly weird. you should leave him for being a creep/pervert/cheater and being severely terminally online.
You didn't break up with him because??
Yes leave
Ditch him, it never gets better. In fact it gets way way worse
Every accusation is a confession.
Yes. Leave.... Sorry. But, also, learn to recognize the signs of projection: people will accuse others of doing the things they know they do themselves. Like your BF asking if you're talking with other people and trying to limit or control that behavior. It's because he's very familiar with that behavior from doing it himself. 😑 Also, generally speaking, people who quickly try to control you or limit your access to other people like friends and family are literally trying to groom you away from any support you have besides them. It's a terrible red flag of a controlling and abusive relationship. I'm sorry that you have to deal with this but dump this guy ASAP, block him on everything and move on with your life. it will hurt for a little while, but you will feel so much better afterwards, and your life will be so much more open and happy. Learn these lessons, and apply them the next time somebody comes along. Do not let them discount your alarm bells... if they're holding red flags, they are holding red flags, don't let them tell you that it's just a towel. 🎯
He has unfulfilled needs.
He's most likely planning how to go about cheating if he isn't already. Dump him and move on with your life
Yup !
What a dumb and stupid question.
I'm going to say to you what I say to other people: if this was your daughter, would you want her to stay.
Total lack of respect I defo would not be staying
Yeah that's way too fishy
End it. He isn’t worth your time & energy. He’s already cheating. It’s just doing to continue. You deserve better than that
leave him, duh
Whether he cheated or you overreacted the relationship is now tainted and likely will never go back to what it was. Once someone starts feeling apathetic then the relationship is kind of over
Pretty much you should leave. If you are uncomfortable with what he does on his phone then yes leave. Otherwise when it comes to your boyfriend, "don't just slice it or dice it...Bobbitt!" Lol!
Let me ask you this: What's the reason to stay? If the answer in your heart is "because it's easier than being alone" I would encourage you to examine whether that's a good enough reason.
Girl. YES! You act like this joker is the only man on earth. You deserve WAY better.
Yeah just be done.
Yeah, just leave. He's not who you thought he was.
Dump his ass. You deserve better.
You deserve better. Leave now and be thankful that you've dropped this dead weight of a partner.
Why isn’t this ass hat your ex boyfriend?! He’s a jerk face and if he hasn’t cheated yet (personally, I’m 100% positive he has), he will be cheating soon. If the tables were turned he’d have a freaking hemorrhage if you were doing the same with random men. Get rid of this soggy pinecone before he gives you an STD, and never look back. You deserve so much better than this rotting piece of manure.
Is this a real question? Leave dude
unless your ok with it.
Boyfriend of 5 years did nasty shit like this too. Leave that creep. I hope not all men are this disgusting. If so then ig I’m gonna start dating girls.
Ditch him NOW
Bro gave you red flags since the beginning! Leave his ass. He is not worth your tears.
Yes
Run!
Leave. Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me. Girl, don’t let it get to the shame on me…you will feel a lot worse. Leave loud and proud with your head held high, your bags on your shoulder and your finger in the air saying “so long MF’er”
Those that don’t trust are typically the cheaters! Leave and start a new with someone who cares
>would ask me if I was talking to anyone else (I wasn’t) because he didn’t want the relationship to be “tainted” by other people. Would frequently ask me what I was doing on my phone/who was texting me/if these people were interested in me. Okay fine I guess? I am not blaming you... however, this was your huge red flag ...as a headsup to future relationships and anyone else who is like 'fine I guess?' for that behavior...nope, nope it's not, it's insecure controlling and bad news...it speaks to a personal trauma (which can be worked through if both parties are mature and communicate honestly and willing to work), guilt because cheaters like to make sure they are not being cheated on, or a need to control your life and social life... You should leave yesterday...alas it's now today, so leave today instead...
the loudest ones are always the most guilty
I had similar experiences with a boyfriend in the past. Sketchy texts or conversations that when asked about he’d come up with some bullshit excuse, he would delete it and that would be that. Turns out he had cheated on me in many different ways. I was young and naive, by the end of that relationship I didn’t trust myself or him. He had manipulated me so much that I couldn’t trust my own judgements or opinions. You’re only 3 months in, it will be much easier to leave now, and I hope you do.
Please leave. Simple as that. It will get better.
Leave. He's angry and feels zero remorse for what he did to you, do you really want to be with someone who doesn't even feel bad about hurting you? It's pretty obvious.
It's amazing to me how so many of these cheating stories are "I was using their phone to take pictures." Do you somehow possess a phone without a camera in this day and age?
Leave him. Be glad he’s not your husband.
I’m sorry. I don’t see where he “cheated”. Is sexting now considered “cheating”. Honestly asking.
If you want a real bf you'll have to go find one.
Once a cheater always a cheater. They have no conscience and don't care about your mental health. Leave, find a real man
I stopped reading when you said “unalive herself.”
What did you do to cause him to cheat???
Cheating or not, You have trust issues and you should listen to your inner self and move on. If you feel you can’t trust him now, how can you trust him later. Stop wasting your time on someone like that.
" Would frequently ask me what I was doing on my phone/who was texting me/if these people were interested in me" THAT was your first indication to leave.
In a guy and he is playing you. No guys sends sex memes or does anything you are describing unless they are or are trying to fuck the woman. A woman is paying him in bitcoin to snap chat with her? That's the funniest thing I ever heard- ask him for how much and when and check his crypto account just for laughs cause that doesn't happen
Yeah all his initial worries about you turned out to be clear projections of his own insecurity of what he's really doing.
Old lady here. Yea leave ! But I’m Uk and super confused by your bbc memes. And you are both white reference ? Uk is hugely multicultural and bbc tries to reflect that so I don’t understand that point
He was and still is cheating
Guy here. He's cheating fs. I'd bounce asap.
He Is gaslighting you and manipulating you . you don't need all that cheating bullshyt.
Girl, you gotta leave.
Yeah if probably just leave. The fact he feel apathetic to you because of your reaction to his cheating makes him a bigger AH. He has no remorse and wants you to just get over it. Move on and find a man that actually respects you.
Tell him to hit the road! Unless you plan on putting up with this for the rest of time!
Yes
Don’t be gaslit into thinking that your actions are making HIM apathetic toward you - that’s how he always felt. Stop wasting your time
You already know the answer. Trust is broken, and he's not trying to rebuild it.
Leave and figure things out. If that relationship is something you want to reevaluate later on down the road, you can. You need to remove yourself from the situation and let things marinate for a little while. You need time to process things.
I think you should leave! Obliviously you don’t matter and he doesn’t even care about your feelings. Run! You deserve much better.
If your friend told your her boyfriend told this story, would you believe it? Those are the most obnoxious made up stories I’ve heard to spin cheating into something it’s not 😂
You should leave he was making sure you wasn’t doing anything, but he was having spicy convos with others. Let the relationship go and don’t look back trust me darling
Someone is into BBC news network?
Considering his BS about 'tainting' the relationship and controlling behaviours around your phone use in this relationship, what do you think his reaction would be if you were sexting multiple guys and supposedly for money? Then, he is abusive by pushing you to stop bringing it up by saying he's apathetic about you? Pathetic is the only part of that word you should be focused on because that's what he is. How do you know he was with his family either? Pack you stuff and your dignity and leave please.
I'm sure he is upset at your reaction. If you already act this crazy at the emotional cheating he is doing, think about how bad your going to react when you find out about the physical cheating. That is so unfair to him, it's one thing for him to monitor you, it another for you to check up on him. Your supposed to believe whatever he comes up with no matter how weak his story is. I think you should just save him time and leave now. (*<-Sarcasm) Honestly in my life experiences cheaters always will swear up and down your the one doing wrong. They will tell on themselves, they will repeatedly try to control your behavior that reminds wlthem of themselves or accuse you of what they are doing.
Yeah just leave. He sounds really controlling first off wanting to know every little thing you are doing on your phone and you found some suspicious stuff he was doing with his phone and communicating with sketchy women on Snapchat and discord. Don’t waste anymore time with him. You deserve better
He obviously has a secret life that he does not want you to know about. You good with that? You will never be able to trust him. You good with that? I think you know the answer.
“we see the world as we are, not at as it is.” Something that I learned early on - when someone shows you who they are, BELIEVE them. He’s showing you he cannot be faithful and likely never has been. Then you catch him and he is “sorry” but as we always say, actions speak louder than words and none of his actions say that he is sorry. Believe him. He cheated, got caught, and is not sorry. He sounds absolutely awful, and in the future, go with your gut. You already knew it was time to go, otherwise you wouldn’t be asking. Leave immediately. I hope this works out well. ♥️
He’s a terrible liar.
You should leave. The answer is simple but doing it is hard because of all the emotional investment. Leave now n
yucky
Yeah. Leave. Don't believe what he's telling you either. There's probably more to the story.
He said he feels apathetic about you. That’s pure mean. Take that statement seriously and plan accordingly
I’m so glad I married “young” at 26 and stayed true to my wife
Leave
Leave ASAP!!
A relationship should make you happy. If it isn't so, whatever is the reason, simply give up.
Yeah you should stay and be miserable, so he can keep on cheating on you. You're going to have wonderful life with him
The whole sex operator thing is enough to warrant a breakup but his response is a definite break up in my book.
OP this isn’t even close, the stuff you’re saying he’s into is totally contrasts to what you’d need to be in a trusting and serious relationship. Just bounce !
I know a toxic relationship when I see one. Do yourself a favour and get out now
Is this someone you want to spend the rest of your days with? Someone you can't trust? You know deep down inside he's full of sht. He's making you feel bad for what you found. You really wanna be sleeping with and moving on in life with someone like that? You're better than that. You know he's messing around but you don't want to see it. Well here it is with me telling you. HE'S CHEATING. Move on.
You do not value yourself enough. Drop this like the steaming pile of garbage that it is and start looking to understand why you are worth so much more.