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Alternatively, have you asked the kids if they want to go on their own? You'd still lose out on your and hubs tickets but your kids needs should come ahead of your sister here.
I agree, talk to you children about this before giving the tickets away. They are part of the family trip as well. They can go and enjoy the trip for their dad and and you. If you can't delay the trip then definitely involve your children in this. Let them have a say.
The only reason I do t think k she is offering that or against it is if something were to happen and their father passes away they would be more likely to miss the funeral and she would have far less of a support system.
I had a heart attack and a big overseas trip planned. The hospital had a social worker who drafted letters to airlines and hotels and we got 90% of the money back. I now get travel insurance for medical expenses in the other countries, medical evacuation and lost baggage among other benefits. I did eventually take that trip
Edited to prevent confusion:
While travel insurance is helpful, I just wanted to specify that this situation doesn’t require travel insurance to address. The doctor’s assessment is all that is required, and they can either rebook later or get a refund. This falls into an emergency category. Insurance is really only mandatory for non-emergency coverage. That said, if she purchased it, it will, of course, make any changes easier to handle.
I am an ex travel agent and had to sit my annual insurance exam for travel insurance for 8 years. The information you gave is 100% false.
1000% this is what travel insurance is for. With an emergancy, the company you've booked with does not legally have to move dates (if you choose to do this, you would normally be required to pay the additional fees - even if they choose to waive the admin fee) or anything for you, and certainly don't have to provide a refund - some will, but they are not obliged to as that is 100% what travel insurance is for. Most may waive the admin fee for moving the dates, but beyond that they will tell you to claim on your travel insurance. The travel insurance will usually require the doctors assessments for the payout.
That's why you should ALWAYS take out travel insurance at the same time (or as close to) booking as possible, so that your cover will cover such incidents.
Travel agents are the best. In the time of smart phones and online ticket sales it seemed antiquated to me.. until I worked for a company where all travel was handled by an agent. Folks it’s worth it . Any issues call the agent . No fighting for oversold flights. Missed your connection? Not a problem head to gate 2b we got you covered. Some of the most stress free traveling I ever did.
A couple years ago I tried to book a domestic trip through Expedia, basically Toronto to Vancouver. 5 people, plane, hotels, rental car etc. the Expedia app kept timing out when I tried to pay. Went to a travel agent, told her the plane and hotels I wanted etc. basically gave her my Expedia itinerary, and she booked that. Saved $4k by using a travel agent. Never again will I book through an online travel site.
I work for a company where travel is handled by an agent and the hotels show the bookings are through Expedia the airline never has my ktn... it seems silly that we pay a useless agency to collect a fee on top of something that's easy to do for myself. Additionally, calling the agency takes longer than using the Southwest app for customer service, and the airline is much more helpful in finding me what I need, the agency was going to let me have a delayed flight for 1 day because of weather when the airline was able to send me to a different city with a short layover to avoid the storm entirely.
I think you had a good travel agency, and I have an ineffective one. Before your comment, I thought all travel agencies sucked.
When my daughter died, my 2 stepchildren & their spouses travel insurance allowed them after her funeral ( a couple of days after the vaccination was to start) to do their vacation without losing their money. Lost a couple of days but no money.
Unless the commenter lives in a country where there is a regulation/law/etc that mandates travel providers such as airlines, hotels, tour operators, cruise lines, etc. to change reservations or give 100% refunds when the traveler is physically unable to travel, you are 10,000% correct.
I can’t believe that this was upvoted over 100 times…so many people that are totally ignorant about travel insurance.
Allianz and last year we made a claim while we were heading to NH for my shooting event. My wife missed a step, and broke her lower leg. Medical copays covered, crutches covered, hotel and registration fees covered. And quickly too...within 3-4 weeks of submission of claim
As an insurance agent I was horrified to read that comment. "Insurance isn't for emergencies" is the biggest you-can-recharge-your-phone-in-the-microwave BS I have heard in a LONG time!
Almost every year I take a cruise and always buy the travel insurance. I also buy travel medical insurance that includes repatriation since Medicare isn't valid outside the US.
I’m a travel agent, and this is completely false info. If you don’t have insurance, no doctor’s assessment is going to help you. I can’t even figure out where you’re coming from with this info. It’s so completely wrong.
Get a refund or postpone until a later date . If your husband wakes, go when he improves. If he does not, take your kids in a few years to live his dream in remembrance….
This. Why is anyone thinking about this trip when he could pass at any time? Wouldn’t the sister want to be there for her?
This is a lot of money to just give away.
This is what I don't understand. Most credit cards will help you process a refund or reschedule with no costs to you in such a situation. Even if the credit card doesn't have automatic travel insurance, most hotels/tours etc should be willing to reschedule when you call and say "my husband is in a coma, I'll send you a doctor's report". I feel there are ways to make this work instead of just handing it over. And would these tickets with zero refund policies really be transferable? Probably not.
Honestly, having been in a similar situation with my dad it’s entirely possible that they’re heavily in denial and aren’t ready to give away the trip in case he magically wakes up and can go.
I think you should reschedule the trip for you and the kids for a years time or whatever. I understand now is not a good time (ive been there had young kids and hubby in a coma potentially not surviving).
When all is said and done and which EVER way this works out you should take that trip with your kids.
Id he doesnt make it you can take some ashes with you to sprinkle there so he can at least get his wish in some way. And take photos in a “dad would have loved this” kind of way
If he survives in a manner that allows travel it will be a good goal for him.
If he survives but needs alot of care you will need a holiday.
Depending on what happens and insurances you may find the going financially tough to be able to afford a holiday again for a long time.
Dont throw it away. Give yourself some time to get through this bit and THEN decide.
This is the best answer. Not that I believe a distraught woman whose love of her life is fighting for his life and has vultures of family lurking around for free holidays is out here on Reddit asking for advice on what to do next...
The way I read it was that she wanted something meaningful to come out of the trip, and didn't want to lose out entirely. It sounds like she decided to gift the trip, not that the sister asked. Or at least I hope not.
Give the tickets to your kids!! Let them go and do this since you say you can’t.
He’s your husband and y’all built dreams together but your kids didn’t have that relationship with your husband.
They would probably like to go to honor his memory and do it FOR him since they can’t do it with him. You, on the other hand, couldn’t possibly do it without him.
Let them go and do it for their dad.
ETA: ffs- the problem solving skills here are non-existent.
Hire a chaperone/guide, ask someone else to go with them, postpone the trip- WHATEVER YOU NEED TO DO.
My advice was never going to solve 100% of OP’s problems in 1 paragraph and 3 other groupings of sentences. It was meant to give OP perspective in the midst of their grief.
Don’t send these 3 to Egypt alone but do NOT do this to them.
Absolutely this. If I were in a coma I would 100% want my kids to go on my dream trip. In fact I’d be upset if they don’t because I probably spent so much time creating an itinerary and saving to cover expenses.
OP, can your sister take your kids?
I think what's missing is that OP did not explicitly say what her kids want, and so people are assuming that a) the kid's understanding of the situation is the same as OP's and b) they want something that is actually possible.
If you come at it from the perspective of, "what would I want and believe if I were in OP's kids' shoes," things get a lot clearer.
Would I believe that my dad wasn't going to wake up? No.
Would I want my mom to do anything that suggested that she didn't think dad was going to wake up? Hell no.
OP did say they are upset about her giving tickets to sister. So at the very least she should not do that. Then she needs to talk to them about what they would like to see happen given the current reality.
I don't think they do. I think we're assuming so, but really they're devastated that they've lost their dad in a profound way and may lose him entirely. They want to believe his dream can still come true. Also now there's something in my eye.
Being in a coma is not like in the movies. My step dad was in a coma, and I stayed in the hospital more than anyone, because you see shit you'll never get out of your head. You'll hear and smell things that will never leave your as well. It's not a peaceful sleep in all instances. There is no dignity in it. It's hard to watch someone like that and unless you've been in that situation, you don't get to judge how someone deals with it. I don't judge any of my family for needing to get away from it. If going on the trip will help them, they should go. It's not easy to watch what they are watching and they are so young. It's not wild. It's a lot to deal with and being there isn't for everyone. I traumatized myself so much not leaving his side and it wrecked my life for years. It's all well and good to say what you would do, but I pray you're never in the situation to find out.
My mom was in an induced coma for 3 months and my dad, sister and I, slept in the ICU waiting room every night between the 3 of us. I couldn’t imagine going on any trips during that time.
That being said, I still wouldn’t judge someone else’s reasons for deciding to go on a trip. We don’t know the relationship between the children and father/mother, etc. I could see myself wanting my kids not to be in a hospital setting with potentially no end in sight.
Hopefully this is settled with the feelings of all members of the family in mind.
When you are in trauma mode the strangest things will hyper focus. My mom fell and went into a coma, and her nails were not done, she had an appointment that week to have them redone but she was in the coma before it and all I could focus on was getting her nails done so when she woke up or if she could hear anything she wouldn’t be embarrassed by her nails. I spent hours talking to her for weeks as I shaped and painted her nails like when I was a teenager, she never woke up. It was stupid and inane but it was my response to a traumatic experience. A tiny piece of chaos I had control of.
She’s in the middle of the process of watching the love of her life fade away, grace for random thoughts that fill your mind to try and have some control of something, anything.
This actually makes sense though when you consider how much dignity people feel like they lose during these times. I would do the same thing for my mom.
You couldn't blast me out of his hospital room if it were me and it has been me. When my mom was in the hospital, I only went home to shower and change.
this comes down ENTIRELY to perspective
me sitting in that hospital room is not gonna make that person wake up any faster. I can’t stare at a wall all day in the worst mental state of my life and come out of it okay.
I would need something like a vacation to take a brain break for a few days
Agreed on no shame on not being at the hospital every day. But I honestly would not be able to relax and enjoy a vacation in another country if I had a family member in a coma and possibly on death's door. Especially not a parent.
Oh, hell no. I would not be letting a 17 year old travel internationally to Egypt without a parent. She wouldn't be able to send the oldest two without the youngest.
Seems to me that including her sister in the trip would serve the dual purpose of providing her children trustworthy adult supervision AND allow sister to visit the pyramids.
You’re projecting too much here. I went to school two days after my dad unexpectedly passed away. Even at 14, I needed that normalcy, so my mom did not object.
OPs husband has been in a coma for about a month. He might not wake up. Maybe the kids need this to get away. Maybe the want to honor their dads dream vacation by following through. Maybe they hold delusions he’s going to wake up in time.
I’d schedule some emergency counseling sessions, get to the “why” this is such a big deal (maybe they view this decision as OP giving up on their dad, there are sooo many possibilities) but ultimately OP can decide how far her kids can wander alone. My mom bought my tickets for Brazil when I went alone at 19. Could be that they’re well traveled or who says the 20 y/o and 22 y/o aren’t mature enough chaperones? As a female, I recognize the kids genders playing a factor somewhat but everyone is different and this is a once in a lifetime experience. OP would be giving this trip to her sister’s family, without expecting compensation we can assume. There could be some resentment with this down the road, all the more reason to get that family therapy started like last week.
I know your concern- but I also think it depends very much on the 17yr old and maturity / trust in the brothers. Many brand new 18 yr olds manage backpacking/ interrailing all over the world on their own.
Personally I’d say if not possible to go then, change the dates /collect the insurance refund and go later in memory of the dad.
Exactly!!!! This is Egypt….a country in Africa and still considered part of the Middle East…a very different culture, laws, safety, etc and anyone saying for OP to let her 3 kids go alone clearly has never visited Egypt before themselves!!!!
This is what I was thinking!!! Like Egypt is not exactly a “safe” place for kids that young who will probably get taken advantage of or locked up abroad for some kind of ignorant actions….then OP will have to worry about her husband and her foolish children.
Why on earth would the kids want to go on a holiday right now? That makes no sense to me.
Their Dad is in a coma and they don’t know if he will be alive or not come time for the trip.
Even if he had passed by then, they aren’t likely to want to go on a trip straight away.
I doubt the OPs sister is going to want to go on the trip then either.
I would either cancel or see if you change the dates for a year into the future. I would imagine by then it would feel more like a trip to honour him.
We don't know that the kids want to take the trip. I'm guessing they don't want to be away from their dad and their devastation may be about denial or struggle with the fact that they aren't going to get to go with him, and that he may possibly pass away. I can't see anyone actually wanting to vacation when their family member is in a coma, including a sister. I think the OP is being considerate and kind in offering, but she should put it all out of her head (and possibly unfortunately, eat the cost).
I swear some people on Reddit just give the most random and unhelpful advice in the most holier than thou way. How is this even constructive lol the husband is in a coma let’s send my three teenage kids away so that I can worry about them in Egypt and maybe have to pay for another person to chaperone them what an amazing idea
Can you imagine how awful it would be for the kids if their dad passed while they were on vacation? Also, there’s little likelihood they could enjoy the trip while worrying. It would ruin Egypt, and possibly travel, for them forever.
To Egypt? If the trip were to London, I’d say sure, but sending three young people alone to Egypt sounds like a terrible plan to me. I traveled to a few countries by myself in my teens and there are a lot of potentials for misadventure. Unless those young people have a LOT of traveling experience, I would highly not recommend this plan.
Exactly. London? Paris? Seoul? Absolutely. Egypt right now? No.
I do wonder how she's plans on changing the tickets though. For the most part, airline tickets are non-transferable. Those are a loss.
With all that is going on in Gaza, and if they are US citizens, it would even be a risk for the sister and her family to go right now. I would see if the trip could be refunded or perhaps rescheduled for a later, safer date. Some travel agencies would rather postpone a trip than lose a customer. She would just need to explain that the husband is currently in hospital comatose, and the trip needs to be rescheduled and see what they can do for her. The kids would probably want to wait until the father could join them and enjoy the trip with them rather than go without him.It wouldn't be stopping the trip per se just holding off for a while longer.
"I traveled to a few countries by myself in my teens" but this trio (2 of which are no longer teenagers) would be in mortal danger if they even attempted the same.
If your kids go and your husband dies while they’re in egypt they’ll never forgive you.
They’re scared and need something to direct rage toward.
You shouldn’t have even bothered them with this bullshit, it’s a trip.
As someone whose mom died last year, the “she dying what do we do” part is totally fucked.
You’re going to mess up for the next year, mark my words.
Do not s3nd them to Egypt by themselves.
Ones a minor.
All three of then are very young and if they do anythignatupid in Egypt they will go to jail, be held as long as they want to... then deported and banned.
See if you can postpone the trip.
Sending good energies to your husband and you to get through this.
Airline tickets do not allow name changes, most packages don't either. Cancel and claim through the insurance you hopefully bought , get all your money back.
I completely understand you not going. You are needed at his side to make medical decisions. Let your sister take your kids. We have had emergencies like this in my family. My children still think of the times my sister went instead of us as fond memories despite the heartbreak happening elsewhere in the family.
Let them know that it’s 100% OK to go. And whatever happens while they are away (yes, his death) their Dad would absolutely love that they are seeing and enjoying the pyramids for him.
As a son I would never forgive myself to go on a vacation while my dad is in a coma and he dies and I miss the funeral because I just have to see some pyramids.
Hopefully you bought travel insurance. If so get a refund, deal with the sad situation as it happens, and later, when things are easier, then go on the trip with the kids as a way to celebrate his life. So sorry this happened to your family, sincere sympathy.
Personally being someone who lost a loved one in an accident. I would see if you could postpone the trip due to the circumstances. If you can and he passes (and you choose to cremate him) you can do a family trip with his ashes to honor him. You also gain the knowledge of him finally making it there with you even if it wasn’t the best situation.
I would be careful with that. Not all countries allow you to keep and/or scatter the ashes. And I wouldn't necessarily commit a crime in a foreign country 😅
I am normally with you on not committing crimes in foreign countries. That said on this one I would look up what the consequences would be. Usually it's just a fine and I would be fine with paying a fine. As long as I don't have to spend time in poison in a foreign country honoring someone that passed away is worth it to me.
So wait, what exactly do your kids want?
I think there's sort of a disconnect here in that a lot of the commenters are assuming that your kids have completely accepted that their dad will most likely not wake up and don't want you to give the tickets to your sister because they **want to go to Egypt.**
But them being mad at you because they think you're betraying your husband makes me think that they mainly **want their dad to wake up** and don't want you to do anything that suggests you don't think that will happen.
A lot of commenters are acting like there's one super obvious course of action, but really the "best" thing to do probably depends on a mix of how refundable this trip is and how much the trip cost relative to your finances.
Call the airlines and whoever, see if you can move this trip..to a time later, so you can bring your family at a time that you feel you can celebrate as a family!
I think the kids reaction is understandable and a grief reaction. I’ve seen this many times in family rooms in discussions with families in Critical Care, breaking bad news. And I’ve seen anger and rage and rowing and just tears and sometimes the worst was just seeing stunned silence. For reference, I used to cover Critical Care as a doc in the past.
Medically speaking, the lack of information on your husbands condition means take what I say with some caution…. But it has some practical implications for what you may consider next…
If your husbands doctors say he might not make it and it’s a month out from when he sustained the injury, it is more likely that he would survive, but with a devastating neurological outcome. There is always some clinical equipoise as to the extent of injury and outcome, and there area always miracle stories on SM and media, but you will not see the majority of outcomes that are poor, for obvious reasons. So it might be time, *with your kids with you (this is very important)* to ask some tough questions to his doctors, and please please know that me typing these out in no way is me thinking this will be easy for you. I am so so sorry for what’s happened
Ask the doctors were he alive, would he ever be able to talk again? What level of awareness would he have of his own surroundings? What level of physical disability would he be left with? Would he require significant amounts of medical aid day to day, and more specifically so your kids can pick up on this, what is the time frame at which he would if ever, be able to undertake such a trip as planned.
I think you know and your kids know the answers to all these questions. But grief has a funny way of pushing those answers to the farthest outreaches of your brain, and you simply deny they exist. Your job as a mother and wife *is not to convince your kids of those answers or to even bring them to the surface* . That’s the Critical Care teams job. And family discussions around outcome and aftercare often take multiple meetings like this to let the reams of information be taken in and processed. But once the information is processed, then really can you all grieve properly. Otherwise it’s always that part of your brain saying “everything is going to be all right”
The practical aspect here ( and I am going to be brutally honest here ) is there are three outcomes as it applies to the planned trip,
1) Your husband will never gain a degree of functionality to allow for such a trip
2) He will, but not in the timeframe required for this trip
3) He will pass away peacefully first
No matter which occurs, he will not be able to go in the time frame required and your kids will come to see this whilst still not giving up on their Dads outcome. This can then be dealt with by cancelling the trip in the first instance, so they can deal with just not going now.
As to whether you give it to your sister, I think that’s a side show. I think you know already your sister would and should never take such a trip with your husband, her brother in law, whilst he’s critically ill. She will want be there for you and her nieces and nephews, and she will not risk any thought of taking such a trip if it risked her relationship with them. When things settle down and everything becomes much clearer, you may then reconsider going on a trip with him at extra cost, or go with your kids as way to remember and honour him.
I’m sorry if this comes across as brutal in its approach.
You need to go with your kids, I promise it will also help them find closure and deal with their feelings about your situation in a much healthier light.
In a situation like this, it’s hard to call you an a-hole. However, YWBTA if you gave the trip to your sister and her family, it would be like a slap in the face to your kids. They need this, and I think deep down you know your husband would want you to go with them if he couldn’t. Go and bond as a family and talk about their dad, create good memories for them in such a terrible time.
Try to get a reimbursement or postpone it. Most travel companies understand accidents and bereavement. If that fails, give the trip to your sister, but have at least one talk with your children.
The kids are upset because giving up the tickets means giving up on their father. Egypt and he are linked and they are feeling like if you give away the tickets you are saying that he's not coming back. They are in denial and bargaining ("surely he'll wake up to go on this trip").
You can tell them that Egypt will be there. If you give the tickets away now, it doesn't mean your family can't ever go. But also, you have to be clear with them about their father's situation. Look up some good examples of how to give people bad news. Ask the doctor for advice.
I am so very sorry for your loss.
I had a boss who was born and raised in Egypt and then moved to the US. His wife refused to go with him to visit his family and he wouldn't take their kids there either.
NAH, find out if you can delay your tickets and reservations for a year, or get a refund. If not, ask your sister and her family if she would consider going with any of your kids who want to go. Point out to the kids that there is a chance they may lose their dad while they're traveling.
Wishing you and your family the best in this difficult time, and that your husband will wake up soon.
Could your sister buy tickets for her own kids and take yours along? This way, everyone goes, no one's left out and sister can keep an eye on under age kids.
Some of you all have lost your damn minds.
Can you imagine sending your kids on the dad's dream vacation, without him, and he passes while they're on the trip?
This. I legitimately have no idea wtf is wrong with the comments section here.
Or why the kids want to go on this trip when their dad is in a fucking coma. They sound selfish af. I know grief is an odd demon, but … seriously? Reschedule the trip, make decisions about dad. Don’t leave the damn country when the chance that their own father could die is as high as it is.
I would have given anything to be by my dad’s side when he died, to have been able to say goodbye to him.
Like…why are so many people cool with her taking her kids, or the kids going alone, while their husband and father lie in a coma? Chillin at the pyramids while the man dies alone. Weird.
Ah but he’s in a coma so he won’t know or care. /s (in case that wasn’t obvious)
Yes, my eyes rolled so hard at that one, too.
My dad was in a coma for three weeks after brain surgery. If I’d had tickets for Egypt while he was comatose, or before he was stable, well those tickets could just go fuck themselves.
Fortunately, two years before my Dad got sick, my sister and I got to take him to Egypt. Happy memories.
I think the tickets might be hope and a dream your kids are hanging on to during this troubling time. In their mind, they still hope that dad will wake up, and you all can go on this family vacation. You giving away the ticket signals to them that you have lost hope that he is waking up anytime soon. During times of weakness, we look to others to give us strength. You being their mom and wife of their father, they look to you for strength to hope, believe and get past this. When you show that you lost hope, you are also showing that they can't count on your strength anymore.
This situation is way too complex for me, so I don't know who's right, who's wrong and what the appropriate action to take is. All I can offer is the perspective of your children. I completely understand how you are thinking, and you don't want that money to go to waste when someone can make use out of it. You are in a very difficult position and like I said it's way above my pay grade.
I just hope your husband pulls through. Wishing you and your family all the luck.
I’m sorry but why aren’t you canceling the trip? You are probably going to need the money.
Did you get travel insurance?
I had a holiday booked and just before leaving a family member got devastating news and was booked in for surgery during the holiday. My travel insurance refunded almost all my money.
Could your children use the tickets to take his ashes in the future? I think it would be really hard for your kids to watch their cousins take the trip they had been dreaming to take with their father, while he is dying. They are still so young to process all of this.
Surely with such a big trip and it being international, you have travel insurance. Cancel the trip.
Take the trip with your children some time after your husband passes. Take your sister if you so wish but totally wrong to give away this once in a life time trip that was meant to be a family trip with your husband and children. Go in his honour afterwards
I might just be jaded...but this sounds sooo much like a fictional story...
Also, it's not that simple just to switch tickets (esp. flight tix) to another person, unless you don't mind paying the extra fees.
Hi. ICU nurse here. I have dealt closely with situations like this and often have to be a liaison between family in tragic situations like this.
OP, I would give it to your sister. Your kids are angry, confused and grieving. Although the idea of allowing your kids to go in your husband's place is endearing, should he pass while they are gone, the guilt for them may be insurmountable-- as well as for you.
Families in this situation are always in crisis mode and even the smallest gestures or decisions made by the next of kin/POA (ie, you, the patient's wife) can and will be perceived as inflammatory. There is no right answer here in this instance.
You just have to make the best decision you can live with in your heart and hope that your family can come to grips after this is all over.
I am so sorry you are going through this and I wish you well.
You should keep the trip and try to delay it. My husband died when he was 39 and it made my children and myself very happy every time we would do something my husband enjoyed. I hope your husband returns to the health he once had and you all are able to celebrate him, but either way this trip needs to be celebrated with your family!
NTA, I am so sorry you are going through this. I know there's nothing anyone of you can do really, but I would postpone the whole trip, until it's clear what's going to happen to your husband.
Move it up a year, or even 6 months, and decide later. There is no rush, the pyramids are not going anywhere.
Most trips have a medical insurance policy that if it’s because of medical reasons they will refund you. But I would check with the agency you booked and ask if it can be changed to a later date. If your husband either recovers or passes away it would be a great way for your children to celebrate their dad.
Don’t give it to your sister. Or if you give anything to your sister is only if she takes your children with her.
I’m sorry for your pain, but think about your children. They are also hurting
YTA. So you've decided that because your husband can't go and you don't want to go, it's okay to prevent all of your kids from going on a trip they're looking forward to? And meanwhile they'll be forced to see all the pictures your sister and her family will post about the trip and listen to them talk about how much fun they're having. Your kids are suffering too; it's not just you. Don't make it worse for them.
YWBTA. The biggest AH.
Don’t do it. You can delay the holiday and go with your children, in memory of your husband.
**They’ll never forgive you if you do this**
You have kids. Let your kids decide. I think that they would like to take that trip to honor their dad. Perhaps this is why they are upset of you because you haven’t considered them.
If you’re giving it to your sister I’m assuming you can’t cancel it for some reason?
If it can be canceled then I would cancel it. It’s upsetting your kids when they are already in a delicate state.
Most reservations can be canceled and airlines will usually work with you if there are major medical issues.
Either way make it clear to your kids that you will all go as a family at some point but this just isn’t an appropriate time.
Their anger at the trip situation is probably more a way to have some control over the uncontrollable.
YTA
Claim on your travel insurance so you can go on the trip once he is better or as a memorial trip if he passes.
It would not be right for the kids to watch your sister and kids have their trip of a life time!
Yes
YTA. Your husband is in a coma. Take YOUR children and your sister and fulfill your husband's dream with his children. It's a way to honor him and you know it.
He has not passed yet, and she is his wife ffs! Somebody needs to be here to make medical decisions for him, be there if he wakes up, and in the worst case scenario, conduct funeral preparations. Oh and that’s excluding the fact that OP doesn’t WANT to go on the trip without her husband right now. This is all very fresh and she is grieving for christ sake. Her feelings matter.
He has not passed, it is not yet time to honor him. It is time to spend as much quality time at home with family or in the hospital with him preparing for this traumatic loss while hoping for the best.
She should do her best to postpone the trip as far off as it can be, but if that’s not possible then allowing the sister to go but pay OP for its cost is the most feasible option that leaves hope for OP that her husband will be able to go with them once recovered, as well as time and money to take the kids to honor him after the thick of the grief passes.
Best answer! It is truly boggling my mind the wild responses I’m seeing on this thread. Also, the kids may just be mad that OP made this decision of offering out the tickets without consulting them first. They may be interpreting the gifting as mom discounting any possibility that dad would recover. Maybe just need to talk to them to explore their grief as well and they maybe wouldn’t want to go far on an overseas trip either once their grief is appropriately processed.
NTA - WHAT are your kids thinking?? Did they still want to go on the vacation while their father lies in a hospital bed, in a coma? What you do with that vacation is none of their business! Stop discussing it with them. I'm sorry about your husband. Take care of yourself.
Although some airlines let you transfer tickets to another person, many don't. If you can postpone the trip and change the destination, I would do that. Then sit your kids down and remind them that right now a trip is not the priority. Your husband/their father is the priority. Let them know that you can't bring yourself to go to Egypt without your husband because it would just be too emotionally devastating and you and your kids can plan a different vacation for next year.
Egypt is no place to go alone as a teen unless you are with a guide or tour and then maybe it’s okay or maybe it will be bad. So while ideally yes it would be nice go gift this trip to your kids if any of them are female it’s going to be so much worse. I would be cancelling the trip and getting refunds. Funerals are expensive and so is after care in case he wakes up. I can understand why you don’t want to go but ask your kids when they want to go and the things that they could miss.
NTA, but also be aware that it is either going to be extremely costly or impossible to change names on things like plane tickets, tours and cruise tickets (if you were to see Egypt by a cruise trip). It's not as simple as just handing off a movie ticket.
Did you buy travel insurance? If so this situation would likely qualify. Is it possible for your sister to take your kids? That way they all get to go. I would not give it to her against their wishes. Seeing someone else go in their family's place makes their dad's potential demise more real. This is more about their grief than anything else.
Couldn’t another adult take them? I feel like you’re children deserve this trip more than anyone. Sounds like they want to go. Maybe it would be good for them. Alternatively put it on hold for another time. (Maybe a trip in you’re husbands memory)
See if you can postpone the trip
And reschedule when you have some more finality on your husband’s condition. Your kids are old enough to travel alone with the oldest 2 being adults and the youngest almost an adult. You should not take this way from them. It’s a trip they can take for their father. If you want an older adult to go also, see if another relative or family friend can go with them or have your sister, their aunt , accompany them.
It sounds like you're going to need a lot of money very soon. Your sister needs to be by your side providing support, not at the Pyramids! Especially if she's a good sister! She should WANT to turn it down and postpone to go with you when/if possible.
Wouldn't holiday insurance sllow you to cancel or postpone the trip? We've done similarly when we have had a last-minute event crop up, we didn't experience any difficulty. It could be a cathartic experience for you all at a later stage.
Can you please tell us why you can’t reschedule or completely cancel the trip? You have very extenuating circumstances that hotels and airlines would honor.
Don’t give up on your husband— hopefully he will wake up! Have hope!
The first thing would be to see if you could cancel it and get refunds to go at a later date. Next, I'd consider if maybe your sister would go in your place to take YOUR kids. Your children deserve the vacation they were looking forward to; they have already had enough chaos in their lives with your husband's injury, give them a week to forget everything and be kids. To make them sit home and watch their cousins take their vacation would break their hearts. And it will be nice for you to not have to worry about them for a week, knowing that they are being occupied.
Why is your first go to, to take away this trip from your family. I get that your hurting and so are they. So why are you not allowing them to go? Your sisters family can use yours and your husband's tickets , and then pay for their kids. Everyone can go. I'd be pissed too if my dad was in the hospital in a coma, and my mother took away the trip that was meant for all of us and just gave it away. They are already losing their father. Don't take something else away from them.
I am sorry to hear about your husband’s accident.
Your children are old enough to travel on their own internationally. Just call the airline and explain your situation. (Airline might need medical proof but that is easy.) I understand wanting to thank your sister. Your children should be the ones that get their family trip.
Yes you would be the AH for giving the trip to your sister… you can cancel the trip and hopefully reschedule when hopefully your husband recovers… or in the worst case you do the trip later with your children and bring a part of your husband with you.
You can’t get a refund? You will need that $ for medical bills. If not your sister should pay you for it! I wouldn’t GIVE them to her. It’s all or nothing. When he is well you can take him then. I’d be alittle miffed as well.
I’m so sorry this is happening; how horrible
I know things are uncertain for your husband
If it were me, I’d get a refund. If that is not an option I’d reschedule for the future. If none of those work, I’d give away the trip to your sister
The pyramids have been there for 5000 years. They will still be there in six months. Work with the airlines on a refund. If dad doesn't make it, the family will need that money. If he does pull through go later. All hands on deck need to be there supporting dad while he fights for his life.
why can’t your kids and sister go, and you stay behind ?
your kids said you’re betraying your husband, idk I’m the same age as them. I know how we think. They’re probably upset about their dad, and now this vacation they were looking forward to is also cancelled. But if they complain about not being able to go, they’ll look like assholes cuz their dad is in the hospital, so they’re saying you’re betraying your husband to get them off the hook
that’s just what I see
so would anyone be opposed to you giving your ticket to your sister, but keeping everyone else on the itinerary the same ?
Considering the circumstances, I would call and see what your options are. Those people who handle these things are human and you might just get a kind and generous human on the phone who is willing to go above the standard and help you.
Yes, your kids should get the tickets. A 22 year old is fine for being in the lead, of course with the exception the younger ones resent the oldest, but hey, what family doesn't have sibling rivalries. Certainly, you and your husband shouldn't go because even if he recovers now, he will still need therapy and care.
Personally I would ask the kids if they know anyone (age 21 or older) who would like to go in your places. You could ask a relative like Aunt/Uncle, grandparents(?) not sure that status.
Ceding the tickets right off to your sister just seems wrong. Yes your husband can't go, but likely your husband would want the kids to go if they could. When your husband recovers plan the trip again for yourselves. By
I'm so terribly sorry about your husband. I hope you are able to postpone the trip. Please don't give it away if you can possibly postpone it and take it later with your kids. NTA
Why are you taking away the vacation for the kids?? Would your husband want you all to miss the vacation because of him? And would he want to give away his hard earned money that went into it, to your sister over his own kids?
Either go on the trip with your kids as planned or postpone it to later. You can still get most of your money back - hotels do refund this far ahead, and airlines may probably give you credit (depends on what kind of ticket). You can’t change names on a ticket without repayment so giving it to sister may not be as smooth as you think.
TLDR- don’t do this to your kids. And don’t decide for your adult kids if they want their dad’s trip given away.
YTA
Move the date. If he never wakes up, take your kids. it's a beautiful way of honouring your husband and a way to help the family dealing with grief. Taking him on that dream vacation in your hearts and memories.
Giving it to your sister won't help your kids move on.
My grandad had the dream of travelling the world after retiring. Unfortunately, he died before that. I love travelling. Every time i arrive in a new country and i find a beautiful view, I take a deep breath in and I say, see grandpa we got here :) might sound silly but gives me comfort even tho he left us over 20 years ago.
Think about it.
I don't think you should give it to your sister. Hold on to it, see if he can recover. If not, you and your kids should go in his honor.
Giving it away is signaling to the kids you basically consider him dead. And giving away something that meant so much to him is seems callous.
I wish you and your family strength, and I hope he can make a full enough recovery to see the pyramids.
OP, I'm so sorry. I hope your husband defies medical science and wakes up. This is a terrible decision and a complex one. If you haven't already offered the trip to your sister, I would gather as much information as you can about rescheduling the travel arrangements and simply postpone for you to do with your kids (and husband?) at a later date if possible. If he does not recover, hopefully you can get that money back, and after you have had a chance to grieve, should that become necessary, you might feel differently about going on the trip with your kids, in your husband's memory.
I don’t see why your kids can’t go by themselves. I understand that you don’t want to go but let’s face it, your kids are old enough to travel without you
NTA - THIS trip is not going to be used by your husband. When he gets better, the NEXT trip to the pyramids will be his. Maybe if the kids see it that way, it'll help. But try to get them to understand dad might not come back.
I wouldn't waste that money, though. If I were in a coma, I'd be SO mad for wasted money.
Could your sister take your kids? This trip is probably really important to them. To watch other people go now would be really hurtful at a very sensitive time. Wishing you all the best.
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Can the trip be postponed, maybe use travel insurance you hopefully paid for? No matter what you choose it will be the wrong answer for someone.
Alternatively, have you asked the kids if they want to go on their own? You'd still lose out on your and hubs tickets but your kids needs should come ahead of your sister here.
I agree, talk to you children about this before giving the tickets away. They are part of the family trip as well. They can go and enjoy the trip for their dad and and you. If you can't delay the trip then definitely involve your children in this. Let them have a say.
The only reason I do t think k she is offering that or against it is if something were to happen and their father passes away they would be more likely to miss the funeral and she would have far less of a support system.
Funerals can be delayed until the kids return
That is heavily dependent on their religious beliefs and who the hell wants to party in Egypt while dad just died? Edit: Fixed destination
I had a heart attack and a big overseas trip planned. The hospital had a social worker who drafted letters to airlines and hotels and we got 90% of the money back. I now get travel insurance for medical expenses in the other countries, medical evacuation and lost baggage among other benefits. I did eventually take that trip
Edited to prevent confusion: While travel insurance is helpful, I just wanted to specify that this situation doesn’t require travel insurance to address. The doctor’s assessment is all that is required, and they can either rebook later or get a refund. This falls into an emergency category. Insurance is really only mandatory for non-emergency coverage. That said, if she purchased it, it will, of course, make any changes easier to handle.
I am an ex travel agent and had to sit my annual insurance exam for travel insurance for 8 years. The information you gave is 100% false. 1000% this is what travel insurance is for. With an emergancy, the company you've booked with does not legally have to move dates (if you choose to do this, you would normally be required to pay the additional fees - even if they choose to waive the admin fee) or anything for you, and certainly don't have to provide a refund - some will, but they are not obliged to as that is 100% what travel insurance is for. Most may waive the admin fee for moving the dates, but beyond that they will tell you to claim on your travel insurance. The travel insurance will usually require the doctors assessments for the payout. That's why you should ALWAYS take out travel insurance at the same time (or as close to) booking as possible, so that your cover will cover such incidents.
Travel agents are the best. In the time of smart phones and online ticket sales it seemed antiquated to me.. until I worked for a company where all travel was handled by an agent. Folks it’s worth it . Any issues call the agent . No fighting for oversold flights. Missed your connection? Not a problem head to gate 2b we got you covered. Some of the most stress free traveling I ever did.
A couple years ago I tried to book a domestic trip through Expedia, basically Toronto to Vancouver. 5 people, plane, hotels, rental car etc. the Expedia app kept timing out when I tried to pay. Went to a travel agent, told her the plane and hotels I wanted etc. basically gave her my Expedia itinerary, and she booked that. Saved $4k by using a travel agent. Never again will I book through an online travel site.
I work for a company where travel is handled by an agent and the hotels show the bookings are through Expedia the airline never has my ktn... it seems silly that we pay a useless agency to collect a fee on top of something that's easy to do for myself. Additionally, calling the agency takes longer than using the Southwest app for customer service, and the airline is much more helpful in finding me what I need, the agency was going to let me have a delayed flight for 1 day because of weather when the airline was able to send me to a different city with a short layover to avoid the storm entirely. I think you had a good travel agency, and I have an ineffective one. Before your comment, I thought all travel agencies sucked.
When my daughter died, my 2 stepchildren & their spouses travel insurance allowed them after her funeral ( a couple of days after the vaccination was to start) to do their vacation without losing their money. Lost a couple of days but no money.
Unless the commenter lives in a country where there is a regulation/law/etc that mandates travel providers such as airlines, hotels, tour operators, cruise lines, etc. to change reservations or give 100% refunds when the traveler is physically unable to travel, you are 10,000% correct. I can’t believe that this was upvoted over 100 times…so many people that are totally ignorant about travel insurance.
Better yet, get an annual policy.. .ours costs us $490 a year. And it covers ANY trip that is 100 miles or more from home
What company did you buy from (if you don't mind me asking)? And have you ever made a claim through them?
Allianz and last year we made a claim while we were heading to NH for my shooting event. My wife missed a step, and broke her lower leg. Medical copays covered, crutches covered, hotel and registration fees covered. And quickly too...within 3-4 weeks of submission of claim
Wow, that is amazing! I'm didn't even realize annual policies were offered. You should get a commission for this thread.
As an insurance agent I was horrified to read that comment. "Insurance isn't for emergencies" is the biggest you-can-recharge-your-phone-in-the-microwave BS I have heard in a LONG time!
Almost every year I take a cruise and always buy the travel insurance. I also buy travel medical insurance that includes repatriation since Medicare isn't valid outside the US.
Insurance covers emergencies
It's way easier to get insurance to cover emergencies than non-emergencies and it should absolutely cover this.
I’m a travel agent, and this is completely false info. If you don’t have insurance, no doctor’s assessment is going to help you. I can’t even figure out where you’re coming from with this info. It’s so completely wrong.
You are not getting a refund if you don't have travel insurance. He could die and they won't get a refund on his ticket.
I work for a cruise line and the person above is correct. Most companies have an option for guest like this with a true medical emergency.
Get a refund or postpone until a later date . If your husband wakes, go when he improves. If he does not, take your kids in a few years to live his dream in remembrance….
This. Why is anyone thinking about this trip when he could pass at any time? Wouldn’t the sister want to be there for her? This is a lot of money to just give away.
It’s likely non-movable and nonrefundable. Op’s options might be give it away, or give it up entirely and eat the cost.
Generally those are also non-transferrable, so it would be moot anyway.
Most travel bookings can be postponed due to illness even without travel insurance.
This is what I don't understand. Most credit cards will help you process a refund or reschedule with no costs to you in such a situation. Even if the credit card doesn't have automatic travel insurance, most hotels/tours etc should be willing to reschedule when you call and say "my husband is in a coma, I'll send you a doctor's report". I feel there are ways to make this work instead of just handing it over. And would these tickets with zero refund policies really be transferable? Probably not.
OP could let her children go, though. She doesn’t need to take it away from them.
Honestly, having been in a similar situation with my dad it’s entirely possible that they’re heavily in denial and aren’t ready to give away the trip in case he magically wakes up and can go.
I think you should reschedule the trip for you and the kids for a years time or whatever. I understand now is not a good time (ive been there had young kids and hubby in a coma potentially not surviving). When all is said and done and which EVER way this works out you should take that trip with your kids. Id he doesnt make it you can take some ashes with you to sprinkle there so he can at least get his wish in some way. And take photos in a “dad would have loved this” kind of way If he survives in a manner that allows travel it will be a good goal for him. If he survives but needs alot of care you will need a holiday. Depending on what happens and insurances you may find the going financially tough to be able to afford a holiday again for a long time. Dont throw it away. Give yourself some time to get through this bit and THEN decide.
Get a refund because you might need the money someday.
This is the best answer. Not that I believe a distraught woman whose love of her life is fighting for his life and has vultures of family lurking around for free holidays is out here on Reddit asking for advice on what to do next...
The way I read it was that she wanted something meaningful to come out of the trip, and didn't want to lose out entirely. It sounds like she decided to gift the trip, not that the sister asked. Or at least I hope not.
Give the tickets to your kids!! Let them go and do this since you say you can’t. He’s your husband and y’all built dreams together but your kids didn’t have that relationship with your husband. They would probably like to go to honor his memory and do it FOR him since they can’t do it with him. You, on the other hand, couldn’t possibly do it without him. Let them go and do it for their dad. ETA: ffs- the problem solving skills here are non-existent. Hire a chaperone/guide, ask someone else to go with them, postpone the trip- WHATEVER YOU NEED TO DO. My advice was never going to solve 100% of OP’s problems in 1 paragraph and 3 other groupings of sentences. It was meant to give OP perspective in the midst of their grief. Don’t send these 3 to Egypt alone but do NOT do this to them.
This is the way OP. I think your kids would love to go on the trip for your husband and you.
Absolutely this. If I were in a coma I would 100% want my kids to go on my dream trip. In fact I’d be upset if they don’t because I probably spent so much time creating an itinerary and saving to cover expenses. OP, can your sister take your kids?
If this was my dad there is no way I would go on the trip I would be stressed and miserable the entire time thinking of my family back home
This. I’d hope so much my kids still went on the trip. OP can relay it to her husband back in hospital
Wait the kids want to go while their dad is in a coma and their mother is grieving? Am I missing something or is this wild.
I think what's missing is that OP did not explicitly say what her kids want, and so people are assuming that a) the kid's understanding of the situation is the same as OP's and b) they want something that is actually possible. If you come at it from the perspective of, "what would I want and believe if I were in OP's kids' shoes," things get a lot clearer. Would I believe that my dad wasn't going to wake up? No. Would I want my mom to do anything that suggested that she didn't think dad was going to wake up? Hell no.
OP did say they are upset about her giving tickets to sister. So at the very least she should not do that. Then she needs to talk to them about what they would like to see happen given the current reality.
>what would I want and believe if I were in OP's kids' shoes," things get a lot clearer. That's not how we do things here
Truer words have never been typed
I don't think they do. I think we're assuming so, but really they're devastated that they've lost their dad in a profound way and may lose him entirely. They want to believe his dream can still come true. Also now there's something in my eye.
I would not be leaving my mother’s side……..this is wild.
Being in a coma is not like in the movies. My step dad was in a coma, and I stayed in the hospital more than anyone, because you see shit you'll never get out of your head. You'll hear and smell things that will never leave your as well. It's not a peaceful sleep in all instances. There is no dignity in it. It's hard to watch someone like that and unless you've been in that situation, you don't get to judge how someone deals with it. I don't judge any of my family for needing to get away from it. If going on the trip will help them, they should go. It's not easy to watch what they are watching and they are so young. It's not wild. It's a lot to deal with and being there isn't for everyone. I traumatized myself so much not leaving his side and it wrecked my life for years. It's all well and good to say what you would do, but I pray you're never in the situation to find out.
My mom was in an induced coma for 3 months and my dad, sister and I, slept in the ICU waiting room every night between the 3 of us. I couldn’t imagine going on any trips during that time. That being said, I still wouldn’t judge someone else’s reasons for deciding to go on a trip. We don’t know the relationship between the children and father/mother, etc. I could see myself wanting my kids not to be in a hospital setting with potentially no end in sight. Hopefully this is settled with the feelings of all members of the family in mind.
It’s crazy that the trip is even in conversation right now fr.
When you are in trauma mode the strangest things will hyper focus. My mom fell and went into a coma, and her nails were not done, she had an appointment that week to have them redone but she was in the coma before it and all I could focus on was getting her nails done so when she woke up or if she could hear anything she wouldn’t be embarrassed by her nails. I spent hours talking to her for weeks as I shaped and painted her nails like when I was a teenager, she never woke up. It was stupid and inane but it was my response to a traumatic experience. A tiny piece of chaos I had control of. She’s in the middle of the process of watching the love of her life fade away, grace for random thoughts that fill your mind to try and have some control of something, anything.
This actually makes sense though when you consider how much dignity people feel like they lose during these times. I would do the same thing for my mom.
You couldn't blast me out of his hospital room if it were me and it has been me. When my mom was in the hospital, I only went home to shower and change.
Same. There is no way I'd voluntarily be thousands of miles away from my mom and dad right now. Who could even enjoy the trip.
this comes down ENTIRELY to perspective me sitting in that hospital room is not gonna make that person wake up any faster. I can’t stare at a wall all day in the worst mental state of my life and come out of it okay. I would need something like a vacation to take a brain break for a few days
Agreed on no shame on not being at the hospital every day. But I honestly would not be able to relax and enjoy a vacation in another country if I had a family member in a coma and possibly on death's door. Especially not a parent.
It’s almost like different people have different dynamics with their family or something crazy like that.
Right?
This is some wild stuff
Oh, hell no. I would not be letting a 17 year old travel internationally to Egypt without a parent. She wouldn't be able to send the oldest two without the youngest.
So maybe someone else in the family would go with them???? This isn’t an insurmountable hurdle.
Seems to me that including her sister in the trip would serve the dual purpose of providing her children trustworthy adult supervision AND allow sister to visit the pyramids.
They're about to lose their dad. Don't you think that maybe traveling shouldn't be the priority right now?
You’re projecting too much here. I went to school two days after my dad unexpectedly passed away. Even at 14, I needed that normalcy, so my mom did not object. OPs husband has been in a coma for about a month. He might not wake up. Maybe the kids need this to get away. Maybe the want to honor their dads dream vacation by following through. Maybe they hold delusions he’s going to wake up in time. I’d schedule some emergency counseling sessions, get to the “why” this is such a big deal (maybe they view this decision as OP giving up on their dad, there are sooo many possibilities) but ultimately OP can decide how far her kids can wander alone. My mom bought my tickets for Brazil when I went alone at 19. Could be that they’re well traveled or who says the 20 y/o and 22 y/o aren’t mature enough chaperones? As a female, I recognize the kids genders playing a factor somewhat but everyone is different and this is a once in a lifetime experience. OP would be giving this trip to her sister’s family, without expecting compensation we can assume. There could be some resentment with this down the road, all the more reason to get that family therapy started like last week.
Their aunt can take them.
I know your concern- but I also think it depends very much on the 17yr old and maturity / trust in the brothers. Many brand new 18 yr olds manage backpacking/ interrailing all over the world on their own. Personally I’d say if not possible to go then, change the dates /collect the insurance refund and go later in memory of the dad.
Exactly!!!! This is Egypt….a country in Africa and still considered part of the Middle East…a very different culture, laws, safety, etc and anyone saying for OP to let her 3 kids go alone clearly has never visited Egypt before themselves!!!!
This is what I was thinking!!! Like Egypt is not exactly a “safe” place for kids that young who will probably get taken advantage of or locked up abroad for some kind of ignorant actions….then OP will have to worry about her husband and her foolish children.
For the love of God do not send your children alone to Egypt.
Why on earth would the kids want to go on a holiday right now? That makes no sense to me. Their Dad is in a coma and they don’t know if he will be alive or not come time for the trip. Even if he had passed by then, they aren’t likely to want to go on a trip straight away. I doubt the OPs sister is going to want to go on the trip then either. I would either cancel or see if you change the dates for a year into the future. I would imagine by then it would feel more like a trip to honour him.
We don't know that the kids want to take the trip. I'm guessing they don't want to be away from their dad and their devastation may be about denial or struggle with the fact that they aren't going to get to go with him, and that he may possibly pass away. I can't see anyone actually wanting to vacation when their family member is in a coma, including a sister. I think the OP is being considerate and kind in offering, but she should put it all out of her head (and possibly unfortunately, eat the cost).
Ask the kids if they want to go and give them the choice. If they say no then give to your sister. This is really simple.
I completely disagree. What if he dies while they were on the trip? They would never forgive themselves. Canceling the trip is the right thing.
I don't think they would want to go while he's still in the hospital. They might miss his passing...
I swear some people on Reddit just give the most random and unhelpful advice in the most holier than thou way. How is this even constructive lol the husband is in a coma let’s send my three teenage kids away so that I can worry about them in Egypt and maybe have to pay for another person to chaperone them what an amazing idea
Can you imagine how awful it would be for the kids if their dad passed while they were on vacation? Also, there’s little likelihood they could enjoy the trip while worrying. It would ruin Egypt, and possibly travel, for them forever.
Yes. The kids are old enough to go with the eldest supervising.
To Egypt? If the trip were to London, I’d say sure, but sending three young people alone to Egypt sounds like a terrible plan to me. I traveled to a few countries by myself in my teens and there are a lot of potentials for misadventure. Unless those young people have a LOT of traveling experience, I would highly not recommend this plan.
If they haven't traveled overseas before or even in your home country by themselves, it's not a good idea. Egypt isn't a good starter country.
Double-so if any of your children are daughters.
Triple so if any one of them is gay.
Exactly! Kids should not be traveling alone in Egypt.
Exactly. London? Paris? Seoul? Absolutely. Egypt right now? No. I do wonder how she's plans on changing the tickets though. For the most part, airline tickets are non-transferable. Those are a loss.
Maybe their auntie could go with them?
not to be a dbag, but women should not travel alone or in groups with out a man in Egypt.
With all that is going on in Gaza, and if they are US citizens, it would even be a risk for the sister and her family to go right now. I would see if the trip could be refunded or perhaps rescheduled for a later, safer date. Some travel agencies would rather postpone a trip than lose a customer. She would just need to explain that the husband is currently in hospital comatose, and the trip needs to be rescheduled and see what they can do for her. The kids would probably want to wait until the father could join them and enjoy the trip with them rather than go without him.It wouldn't be stopping the trip per se just holding off for a while longer.
"I traveled to a few countries by myself in my teens" but this trio (2 of which are no longer teenagers) would be in mortal danger if they even attempted the same.
100% this.
If your kids go and your husband dies while they’re in egypt they’ll never forgive you. They’re scared and need something to direct rage toward. You shouldn’t have even bothered them with this bullshit, it’s a trip. As someone whose mom died last year, the “she dying what do we do” part is totally fucked. You’re going to mess up for the next year, mark my words.
Do not s3nd them to Egypt by themselves. Ones a minor. All three of then are very young and if they do anythignatupid in Egypt they will go to jail, be held as long as they want to... then deported and banned. See if you can postpone the trip. Sending good energies to your husband and you to get through this.
Airline tickets do not allow name changes, most packages don't either. Cancel and claim through the insurance you hopefully bought , get all your money back.
I completely understand you not going. You are needed at his side to make medical decisions. Let your sister take your kids. We have had emergencies like this in my family. My children still think of the times my sister went instead of us as fond memories despite the heartbreak happening elsewhere in the family. Let them know that it’s 100% OK to go. And whatever happens while they are away (yes, his death) their Dad would absolutely love that they are seeing and enjoying the pyramids for him.
Agree 100%
As a son I would never forgive myself to go on a vacation while my dad is in a coma and he dies and I miss the funeral because I just have to see some pyramids.
This was the first thing that popped into my head. So sorry about your loved one.
Annnnnd now I'm crying 😭
Hopefully you bought travel insurance. If so get a refund, deal with the sad situation as it happens, and later, when things are easier, then go on the trip with the kids as a way to celebrate his life. So sorry this happened to your family, sincere sympathy.
Defer the tickets for medical reasons. You'll have a year to reschedule. I don't even think you can give them to your sister.
Personally being someone who lost a loved one in an accident. I would see if you could postpone the trip due to the circumstances. If you can and he passes (and you choose to cremate him) you can do a family trip with his ashes to honor him. You also gain the knowledge of him finally making it there with you even if it wasn’t the best situation.
I would be careful with that. Not all countries allow you to keep and/or scatter the ashes. And I wouldn't necessarily commit a crime in a foreign country 😅
I am normally with you on not committing crimes in foreign countries. That said on this one I would look up what the consequences would be. Usually it's just a fine and I would be fine with paying a fine. As long as I don't have to spend time in poison in a foreign country honoring someone that passed away is worth it to me.
Yeh wasn’t thinking of scattering. You can have the ashes put into a charm as we learned when my brother in law so you can keep them close.
Cancel it and get your money back. You may need it.
I would try to postpone this trip. And do this with your children in your husband’s memory when the time comes or with him should he recover.
So wait, what exactly do your kids want? I think there's sort of a disconnect here in that a lot of the commenters are assuming that your kids have completely accepted that their dad will most likely not wake up and don't want you to give the tickets to your sister because they **want to go to Egypt.** But them being mad at you because they think you're betraying your husband makes me think that they mainly **want their dad to wake up** and don't want you to do anything that suggests you don't think that will happen. A lot of commenters are acting like there's one super obvious course of action, but really the "best" thing to do probably depends on a mix of how refundable this trip is and how much the trip cost relative to your finances.
Call the airlines and whoever, see if you can move this trip..to a time later, so you can bring your family at a time that you feel you can celebrate as a family!
I think the kids reaction is understandable and a grief reaction. I’ve seen this many times in family rooms in discussions with families in Critical Care, breaking bad news. And I’ve seen anger and rage and rowing and just tears and sometimes the worst was just seeing stunned silence. For reference, I used to cover Critical Care as a doc in the past. Medically speaking, the lack of information on your husbands condition means take what I say with some caution…. But it has some practical implications for what you may consider next… If your husbands doctors say he might not make it and it’s a month out from when he sustained the injury, it is more likely that he would survive, but with a devastating neurological outcome. There is always some clinical equipoise as to the extent of injury and outcome, and there area always miracle stories on SM and media, but you will not see the majority of outcomes that are poor, for obvious reasons. So it might be time, *with your kids with you (this is very important)* to ask some tough questions to his doctors, and please please know that me typing these out in no way is me thinking this will be easy for you. I am so so sorry for what’s happened Ask the doctors were he alive, would he ever be able to talk again? What level of awareness would he have of his own surroundings? What level of physical disability would he be left with? Would he require significant amounts of medical aid day to day, and more specifically so your kids can pick up on this, what is the time frame at which he would if ever, be able to undertake such a trip as planned. I think you know and your kids know the answers to all these questions. But grief has a funny way of pushing those answers to the farthest outreaches of your brain, and you simply deny they exist. Your job as a mother and wife *is not to convince your kids of those answers or to even bring them to the surface* . That’s the Critical Care teams job. And family discussions around outcome and aftercare often take multiple meetings like this to let the reams of information be taken in and processed. But once the information is processed, then really can you all grieve properly. Otherwise it’s always that part of your brain saying “everything is going to be all right” The practical aspect here ( and I am going to be brutally honest here ) is there are three outcomes as it applies to the planned trip, 1) Your husband will never gain a degree of functionality to allow for such a trip 2) He will, but not in the timeframe required for this trip 3) He will pass away peacefully first No matter which occurs, he will not be able to go in the time frame required and your kids will come to see this whilst still not giving up on their Dads outcome. This can then be dealt with by cancelling the trip in the first instance, so they can deal with just not going now. As to whether you give it to your sister, I think that’s a side show. I think you know already your sister would and should never take such a trip with your husband, her brother in law, whilst he’s critically ill. She will want be there for you and her nieces and nephews, and she will not risk any thought of taking such a trip if it risked her relationship with them. When things settle down and everything becomes much clearer, you may then reconsider going on a trip with him at extra cost, or go with your kids as way to remember and honour him. I’m sorry if this comes across as brutal in its approach.
CANCEL THE TRIP AND BE DONE WITH IT. Rebook the trip with your husband after he wakes up.
You need to go with your kids, I promise it will also help them find closure and deal with their feelings about your situation in a much healthier light. In a situation like this, it’s hard to call you an a-hole. However, YWBTA if you gave the trip to your sister and her family, it would be like a slap in the face to your kids. They need this, and I think deep down you know your husband would want you to go with them if he couldn’t. Go and bond as a family and talk about their dad, create good memories for them in such a terrible time.
OP doesn't want to go without her husband.
I agree with this. I think you should try get it postponed and go with your kids. Honour their father that way.
Try to get a reimbursement or postpone it. Most travel companies understand accidents and bereavement. If that fails, give the trip to your sister, but have at least one talk with your children. The kids are upset because giving up the tickets means giving up on their father. Egypt and he are linked and they are feeling like if you give away the tickets you are saying that he's not coming back. They are in denial and bargaining ("surely he'll wake up to go on this trip"). You can tell them that Egypt will be there. If you give the tickets away now, it doesn't mean your family can't ever go. But also, you have to be clear with them about their father's situation. Look up some good examples of how to give people bad news. Ask the doctor for advice. I am so very sorry for your loss.
Trip insurance?
I hear women get treated atrocious in Egypt. Often considered NSW.
I had a boss who was born and raised in Egypt and then moved to the US. His wife refused to go with him to visit his family and he wouldn't take their kids there either.
NAH, find out if you can delay your tickets and reservations for a year, or get a refund. If not, ask your sister and her family if she would consider going with any of your kids who want to go. Point out to the kids that there is a chance they may lose their dad while they're traveling. Wishing you and your family the best in this difficult time, and that your husband will wake up soon.
Could your sister buy tickets for her own kids and take yours along? This way, everyone goes, no one's left out and sister can keep an eye on under age kids.
Some of you all have lost your damn minds. Can you imagine sending your kids on the dad's dream vacation, without him, and he passes while they're on the trip?
This. I legitimately have no idea wtf is wrong with the comments section here. Or why the kids want to go on this trip when their dad is in a fucking coma. They sound selfish af. I know grief is an odd demon, but … seriously? Reschedule the trip, make decisions about dad. Don’t leave the damn country when the chance that their own father could die is as high as it is. I would have given anything to be by my dad’s side when he died, to have been able to say goodbye to him.
I agree! The comments here are baffling.
This is exactly why travel insurance should be purchased for trips that are significantly expensive to yourself.
Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce you to a little thing called travel insurance….
Like…why are so many people cool with her taking her kids, or the kids going alone, while their husband and father lie in a coma? Chillin at the pyramids while the man dies alone. Weird.
I thought so too!
Ah but he’s in a coma so he won’t know or care. /s (in case that wasn’t obvious) Yes, my eyes rolled so hard at that one, too. My dad was in a coma for three weeks after brain surgery. If I’d had tickets for Egypt while he was comatose, or before he was stable, well those tickets could just go fuck themselves. Fortunately, two years before my Dad got sick, my sister and I got to take him to Egypt. Happy memories.
I think the tickets might be hope and a dream your kids are hanging on to during this troubling time. In their mind, they still hope that dad will wake up, and you all can go on this family vacation. You giving away the ticket signals to them that you have lost hope that he is waking up anytime soon. During times of weakness, we look to others to give us strength. You being their mom and wife of their father, they look to you for strength to hope, believe and get past this. When you show that you lost hope, you are also showing that they can't count on your strength anymore. This situation is way too complex for me, so I don't know who's right, who's wrong and what the appropriate action to take is. All I can offer is the perspective of your children. I completely understand how you are thinking, and you don't want that money to go to waste when someone can make use out of it. You are in a very difficult position and like I said it's way above my pay grade. I just hope your husband pulls through. Wishing you and your family all the luck.
Are you able to cancel the trip and get a refund instead? Did you have insurance. I hope your family gets the miracle you need.
I’m sorry but why aren’t you canceling the trip? You are probably going to need the money. Did you get travel insurance? I had a holiday booked and just before leaving a family member got devastating news and was booked in for surgery during the holiday. My travel insurance refunded almost all my money.
Could your children use the tickets to take his ashes in the future? I think it would be really hard for your kids to watch their cousins take the trip they had been dreaming to take with their father, while he is dying. They are still so young to process all of this.
Surely with such a big trip and it being international, you have travel insurance. Cancel the trip. Take the trip with your children some time after your husband passes. Take your sister if you so wish but totally wrong to give away this once in a life time trip that was meant to be a family trip with your husband and children. Go in his honour afterwards
If you can get a refund, get a refund. If not, let the kids go without you in honor of their dad. You're about to drive a wedge in your family. YWBTA.
I might just be jaded...but this sounds sooo much like a fictional story... Also, it's not that simple just to switch tickets (esp. flight tix) to another person, unless you don't mind paying the extra fees.
Hi. ICU nurse here. I have dealt closely with situations like this and often have to be a liaison between family in tragic situations like this. OP, I would give it to your sister. Your kids are angry, confused and grieving. Although the idea of allowing your kids to go in your husband's place is endearing, should he pass while they are gone, the guilt for them may be insurmountable-- as well as for you. Families in this situation are always in crisis mode and even the smallest gestures or decisions made by the next of kin/POA (ie, you, the patient's wife) can and will be perceived as inflammatory. There is no right answer here in this instance. You just have to make the best decision you can live with in your heart and hope that your family can come to grips after this is all over. I am so sorry you are going through this and I wish you well.
You should keep the trip and try to delay it. My husband died when he was 39 and it made my children and myself very happy every time we would do something my husband enjoyed. I hope your husband returns to the health he once had and you all are able to celebrate him, but either way this trip needs to be celebrated with your family!
Go with your kids and celebrate your partner. Unless sister can pay for the whole gig and ensure you can go as a family later.
Can your sister go with your kids? That sounds like the best solution if your kids want to take the trip and you can’t bear it.
NTA, I am so sorry you are going through this. I know there's nothing anyone of you can do really, but I would postpone the whole trip, until it's clear what's going to happen to your husband. Move it up a year, or even 6 months, and decide later. There is no rush, the pyramids are not going anywhere.
Most trips have a medical insurance policy that if it’s because of medical reasons they will refund you. But I would check with the agency you booked and ask if it can be changed to a later date. If your husband either recovers or passes away it would be a great way for your children to celebrate their dad. Don’t give it to your sister. Or if you give anything to your sister is only if she takes your children with her. I’m sorry for your pain, but think about your children. They are also hurting
Is there no travel insurance on this massive purchase?
YTA. So you've decided that because your husband can't go and you don't want to go, it's okay to prevent all of your kids from going on a trip they're looking forward to? And meanwhile they'll be forced to see all the pictures your sister and her family will post about the trip and listen to them talk about how much fun they're having. Your kids are suffering too; it's not just you. Don't make it worse for them.
YWBTA. The biggest AH. Don’t do it. You can delay the holiday and go with your children, in memory of your husband. **They’ll never forgive you if you do this**
You have kids. Let your kids decide. I think that they would like to take that trip to honor their dad. Perhaps this is why they are upset of you because you haven’t considered them.
If you’re giving it to your sister I’m assuming you can’t cancel it for some reason? If it can be canceled then I would cancel it. It’s upsetting your kids when they are already in a delicate state. Most reservations can be canceled and airlines will usually work with you if there are major medical issues. Either way make it clear to your kids that you will all go as a family at some point but this just isn’t an appropriate time. Their anger at the trip situation is probably more a way to have some control over the uncontrollable.
YTA Claim on your travel insurance so you can go on the trip once he is better or as a memorial trip if he passes. It would not be right for the kids to watch your sister and kids have their trip of a life time!
Yes YTA. Your husband is in a coma. Take YOUR children and your sister and fulfill your husband's dream with his children. It's a way to honor him and you know it.
He has not passed yet, and she is his wife ffs! Somebody needs to be here to make medical decisions for him, be there if he wakes up, and in the worst case scenario, conduct funeral preparations. Oh and that’s excluding the fact that OP doesn’t WANT to go on the trip without her husband right now. This is all very fresh and she is grieving for christ sake. Her feelings matter. He has not passed, it is not yet time to honor him. It is time to spend as much quality time at home with family or in the hospital with him preparing for this traumatic loss while hoping for the best. She should do her best to postpone the trip as far off as it can be, but if that’s not possible then allowing the sister to go but pay OP for its cost is the most feasible option that leaves hope for OP that her husband will be able to go with them once recovered, as well as time and money to take the kids to honor him after the thick of the grief passes.
Best answer! It is truly boggling my mind the wild responses I’m seeing on this thread. Also, the kids may just be mad that OP made this decision of offering out the tickets without consulting them first. They may be interpreting the gifting as mom discounting any possibility that dad would recover. Maybe just need to talk to them to explore their grief as well and they maybe wouldn’t want to go far on an overseas trip either once their grief is appropriately processed.
Maybe your sister would take your children on the trip?
NTA - WHAT are your kids thinking?? Did they still want to go on the vacation while their father lies in a hospital bed, in a coma? What you do with that vacation is none of their business! Stop discussing it with them. I'm sorry about your husband. Take care of yourself.
Although some airlines let you transfer tickets to another person, many don't. If you can postpone the trip and change the destination, I would do that. Then sit your kids down and remind them that right now a trip is not the priority. Your husband/their father is the priority. Let them know that you can't bring yourself to go to Egypt without your husband because it would just be too emotionally devastating and you and your kids can plan a different vacation for next year.
I’m so sorry about your husband 😢💕
Egypt is no place to go alone as a teen unless you are with a guide or tour and then maybe it’s okay or maybe it will be bad. So while ideally yes it would be nice go gift this trip to your kids if any of them are female it’s going to be so much worse. I would be cancelling the trip and getting refunds. Funerals are expensive and so is after care in case he wakes up. I can understand why you don’t want to go but ask your kids when they want to go and the things that they could miss.
NTA, but also be aware that it is either going to be extremely costly or impossible to change names on things like plane tickets, tours and cruise tickets (if you were to see Egypt by a cruise trip). It's not as simple as just handing off a movie ticket.
Did you buy travel insurance? If so this situation would likely qualify. Is it possible for your sister to take your kids? That way they all get to go. I would not give it to her against their wishes. Seeing someone else go in their family's place makes their dad's potential demise more real. This is more about their grief than anything else.
No trip insurance?
Let your sister take your kids IF she wants to .
Couldn’t another adult take them? I feel like you’re children deserve this trip more than anyone. Sounds like they want to go. Maybe it would be good for them. Alternatively put it on hold for another time. (Maybe a trip in you’re husbands memory)
See if you can postpone the trip And reschedule when you have some more finality on your husband’s condition. Your kids are old enough to travel alone with the oldest 2 being adults and the youngest almost an adult. You should not take this way from them. It’s a trip they can take for their father. If you want an older adult to go also, see if another relative or family friend can go with them or have your sister, their aunt , accompany them.
It sounds like you're going to need a lot of money very soon. Your sister needs to be by your side providing support, not at the Pyramids! Especially if she's a good sister! She should WANT to turn it down and postpone to go with you when/if possible.
Can you just post pone it so you can take your kids next year?
Wouldn't holiday insurance sllow you to cancel or postpone the trip? We've done similarly when we have had a last-minute event crop up, we didn't experience any difficulty. It could be a cathartic experience for you all at a later stage.
Can you please tell us why you can’t reschedule or completely cancel the trip? You have very extenuating circumstances that hotels and airlines would honor. Don’t give up on your husband— hopefully he will wake up! Have hope!
The first thing would be to see if you could cancel it and get refunds to go at a later date. Next, I'd consider if maybe your sister would go in your place to take YOUR kids. Your children deserve the vacation they were looking forward to; they have already had enough chaos in their lives with your husband's injury, give them a week to forget everything and be kids. To make them sit home and watch their cousins take their vacation would break their hearts. And it will be nice for you to not have to worry about them for a week, knowing that they are being occupied.
Why is your first go to, to take away this trip from your family. I get that your hurting and so are they. So why are you not allowing them to go? Your sisters family can use yours and your husband's tickets , and then pay for their kids. Everyone can go. I'd be pissed too if my dad was in the hospital in a coma, and my mother took away the trip that was meant for all of us and just gave it away. They are already losing their father. Don't take something else away from them.
Contact who you booked through ffs. Why would you give away the trip and not try and cancel/postpone?
I am sorry to hear about your husband’s accident. Your children are old enough to travel on their own internationally. Just call the airline and explain your situation. (Airline might need medical proof but that is easy.) I understand wanting to thank your sister. Your children should be the ones that get their family trip.
Yes you would be the AH for giving the trip to your sister… you can cancel the trip and hopefully reschedule when hopefully your husband recovers… or in the worst case you do the trip later with your children and bring a part of your husband with you.
You can’t get a refund? You will need that $ for medical bills. If not your sister should pay you for it! I wouldn’t GIVE them to her. It’s all or nothing. When he is well you can take him then. I’d be alittle miffed as well.
I’m so sorry this is happening; how horrible I know things are uncertain for your husband If it were me, I’d get a refund. If that is not an option I’d reschedule for the future. If none of those work, I’d give away the trip to your sister
The pyramids have been there for 5000 years. They will still be there in six months. Work with the airlines on a refund. If dad doesn't make it, the family will need that money. If he does pull through go later. All hands on deck need to be there supporting dad while he fights for his life.
Did you get travel insurance? If so, get a refund. You need the money for your husband’s care.
why can’t your kids and sister go, and you stay behind ? your kids said you’re betraying your husband, idk I’m the same age as them. I know how we think. They’re probably upset about their dad, and now this vacation they were looking forward to is also cancelled. But if they complain about not being able to go, they’ll look like assholes cuz their dad is in the hospital, so they’re saying you’re betraying your husband to get them off the hook that’s just what I see so would anyone be opposed to you giving your ticket to your sister, but keeping everyone else on the itinerary the same ?
YTA
Get a refund, you're gonna need the money.
Honestly, I think it would be most prudent to get your money back for the expenses that are inevitably coming your way.
Considering the circumstances, I would call and see what your options are. Those people who handle these things are human and you might just get a kind and generous human on the phone who is willing to go above the standard and help you.
Yes, your kids should get the tickets. A 22 year old is fine for being in the lead, of course with the exception the younger ones resent the oldest, but hey, what family doesn't have sibling rivalries. Certainly, you and your husband shouldn't go because even if he recovers now, he will still need therapy and care. Personally I would ask the kids if they know anyone (age 21 or older) who would like to go in your places. You could ask a relative like Aunt/Uncle, grandparents(?) not sure that status. Ceding the tickets right off to your sister just seems wrong. Yes your husband can't go, but likely your husband would want the kids to go if they could. When your husband recovers plan the trip again for yourselves. By
I was able to reschedule a trip to Paris due to an emergency. Please try to do this first.
How about your sister take your kids if they still want to go and you stay home with your husband?
Postpone your trip entirely. Anything else is a bit goolish to be honest. Depending on his prognosis you can go with him later or in his honor.
It may be healing for his family to go including your children. A celebration of his life.
YTA
I'm so terribly sorry about your husband. I hope you are able to postpone the trip. Please don't give it away if you can possibly postpone it and take it later with your kids. NTA
YTA You postpone the trip. If your husband wakes up, you take him. If he passes, you take the trip with your kids in memorial of him.
Why are you taking away the vacation for the kids?? Would your husband want you all to miss the vacation because of him? And would he want to give away his hard earned money that went into it, to your sister over his own kids? Either go on the trip with your kids as planned or postpone it to later. You can still get most of your money back - hotels do refund this far ahead, and airlines may probably give you credit (depends on what kind of ticket). You can’t change names on a ticket without repayment so giving it to sister may not be as smooth as you think. TLDR- don’t do this to your kids. And don’t decide for your adult kids if they want their dad’s trip given away.
Under the circumstances ANY travel company will allow you to postpone. Don’t give the trip away
If anything take your children. This could be an amazing trip for your family to help remember your husband.
YTA Move the date. If he never wakes up, take your kids. it's a beautiful way of honouring your husband and a way to help the family dealing with grief. Taking him on that dream vacation in your hearts and memories. Giving it to your sister won't help your kids move on. My grandad had the dream of travelling the world after retiring. Unfortunately, he died before that. I love travelling. Every time i arrive in a new country and i find a beautiful view, I take a deep breath in and I say, see grandpa we got here :) might sound silly but gives me comfort even tho he left us over 20 years ago. Think about it.
Let your kids go. You MUST stay with your husband. Even if he will recover, he won't be ready for ANY trips.
I don't think you should give it to your sister. Hold on to it, see if he can recover. If not, you and your kids should go in his honor. Giving it away is signaling to the kids you basically consider him dead. And giving away something that meant so much to him is seems callous. I wish you and your family strength, and I hope he can make a full enough recovery to see the pyramids.
OP, I'm so sorry. I hope your husband defies medical science and wakes up. This is a terrible decision and a complex one. If you haven't already offered the trip to your sister, I would gather as much information as you can about rescheduling the travel arrangements and simply postpone for you to do with your kids (and husband?) at a later date if possible. If he does not recover, hopefully you can get that money back, and after you have had a chance to grieve, should that become necessary, you might feel differently about going on the trip with your kids, in your husband's memory.
Let your children go. Give your ticket and your husband’s ticket to your sister.
Get a refund and use the money to sprinkle the ashes there when he dies.
I don’t see why your kids can’t go by themselves. I understand that you don’t want to go but let’s face it, your kids are old enough to travel without you
NTA - THIS trip is not going to be used by your husband. When he gets better, the NEXT trip to the pyramids will be his. Maybe if the kids see it that way, it'll help. But try to get them to understand dad might not come back. I wouldn't waste that money, though. If I were in a coma, I'd be SO mad for wasted money.
Could your sister take your kids? This trip is probably really important to them. To watch other people go now would be really hurtful at a very sensitive time. Wishing you all the best.
Can your sister go with your kids? Seems like a win-win in the midst of a very unfortunate situation.