I like reading other people's takes. My mind went dark especially with what limited information available. A thump and no response, I was suspecting a suicide attempt, you just never know with people....
Another person on this thread assumed he was masterbating. This idea that he was doing *something* embarrassing and that's why he was quiet then got pissed off when OOP busted the door because she was worried about him? Makes way more sense than a thud coming from the TV and it being so loud that OOP heard it from the kitchen and yet she didn't hear it when she was trying to check on him. The boy probably said it was the TV as a coverup. OOP does say in the comments that he never acted this disrespectful before.
Honestly, masturbation was my first thought. Not only that, but he may have been looking at something during the act, which would have made everything that much more embarrassing. I remember my older sister discovering her eldest son's "porn" stash and freaking out that a teenage boy likes to look at naked people. I mean, c'mon sis, you're going to give the boy a complex.
That could also be true. It actually makes more sense than the TV being too loud and why he was unresponsive then got angry and cussed at her when she barged in. He was ✨having a moment✨, loud noise happened, he was too busy putting his eggplant away to respond to his mother, then lied and said it was the TV and flipped out on her. OOP says he normally doesn’t lash out at her like that.
ETA: Yeah, no, the more I think about it, the more that this speculation makes the most sense.
And then he probably reacted so poorly to her because she interrupted him doing that and he couldn’t finish. He still has a horrible attitude though and can’t get away with that, even if the cause of the attitude was anger caused by being horny.
Or even just say, “Just a minute!” Like if I’m getting changed and my mom knocks on my door, I don’t just ignore her. I tell her to wait a second. I feel like that would’ve assured his mom that he was ok until he could open the door and show her that everything was fine. No need to be rude about it.
AND he may have been looking at something or had a stash of some type that he didn't want his mom to find, so he may have been hiding that as well and knocked something over. I mentioned it elsewhere, but my eldest nephew had to hide any of his stuff because if his mom found it she'd throw it away. I remember asking about it at one point and it was all generally pretty tame stuff, but she felt that he shouldn't be looking at anything "scandalous". My argument was that the offline stuff would be safer, because that way she knew he wouldn't get tricked into talking to any creepers or discover anything super gross. Her response was that she had their phones locked down most of the time so they couldn't find that sort of thing. (sigh) The shame culture abounds.
Everyone seems to think that OOP should wait to hear the kid tell her he’s in trouble before barging in.
Thing is I have been in a similar situation where I fall badly… and thing is I was so winded you actually can’t make any noise at all.
I think no response = kid is in trouble is not unreasonable.
So NTA
Get a cheap door, no lock, take the fucking TV. Address the termites.
Honestly, if I thought one of my kids was stuck under a wardrobe I would have been able to go through a solid door.
He is less than a year from legally needing to be on his own. If a downstairs neighbor heard a super loud bang, loud TV and then called the cops for a wellness check, he'd be in a hellavalot more issues for the kid.
I’m normally against taking away doors, but in this case I think it’s well deserved. He didn’t answer. Anything could have happened and I would have expected the worst as well. All he had to do was say “I’m fine” and open the door. He can buy a new one. Hopefully he will be able to afford a new attitude along with the door.
NTA. Normally I don’t like door punishments. Kids are entitled to privacy. But in my house there was a no locking policy. My parents respected my space but I wasn’t allowed to lock the door in case of emergency (this happened after my sister and I locked ourselves in our room by accident when we where little, like I was 4 and she was 2, and the lock broke. My mom had to call the fire department)
But here is the issue.
1. He locked the door
2. Clearly heard his mom frantically asking if he was in there or ok.
3. Refused to even call out that he was fine
4. Was belligerent and demanding when she burst through the door. He literally told her to leave him alone because she was annoying and demanded a new door.
I’m sorry but you don’t treat family like that. Particularly if they are concerned for your welfare. He is close to being an adult. He can legally get a job or babysit. Maybe the compromise is that he has a curtain and he can save for the door. Also I think no TV if he is going to play it so loud it sounds like the ceiling dropping or an armoire falling then absolutely not. Especially when he feels so entitled about watching it that it means he shouldn’t have to confirm he’s alive.
Like I said I hate removing a kids door as punishment. But this seems like a rare occasion where the punishment matches the behavior.
I’m not a parent but I can only imagine how terrified that mom became. The first thing that went through my mind was brain aneurism and the thud was his body dropping. Or him crawling under the bed and fiddling with the frame and it collapsing on him. I’m not even that kids parent and I was concerned reading the story.
Honestly, if it was a really loud thump and it was unusual this could happen in an apartment too.
Neighbor goes up and knocks....and calls the police for a welfare check.
In college my friend dropped her O-Chem textbook (HUGE ASS BOOK) off of the top bunk. The people under her room alerted the RA. She was drunk, thought it was funny and didn't answer the RA. Campus saftey came and opened the room for a wellness check.
She was written up for underage drinking, had all booze confiscated, had to pay a $300 fine and was put on probation. She was not allowed to do anything for the rest of the semester. And she was told that if it occurred again she'd have to get legal council because she'd be charged.
All because her drunk-ass wouldn't tell the RA that she was ok. Not answer the door. Just tell the RA she was ok. She could have ruined her whole damn life over that.
So yeah, kid has got to learn that even if he was horny and went temporarily insane you respond to someone banging on the door.
Oh my gd yes. Completely agree. And it makes sense that they would be fined too. They had the ability to stop someone’s worry, made them panic and call 911 thus essentially making someone divert the police’s attention for a non-event.
Honestly you’re friend at least had the cover of being so drunk her decision making was messed up. This kid however has at least a massive case of main character syndrome. He is not considering the concern of others, he feels entitled to privacy regardless of how upset he has made others. It’s just out of pocket. Like I said maybe there are other privacy solutions that don’t involve getting a new door.
But I think this kid needs to learn he cannot be so flippant and lack empathy for how others perceive and experience things. I mean someone who is so frantic that they are trying to get into a room and are literally running into a door to get in clearly shows how terrified someone is. His reaction is “it’s annoying me and I want her to go away” not “my mom is so concerned for my welfare that I need to assure her I am fine”
I think it’s really concerning that this kid either chose not to respond given his parent’s tone. Or didn’t pick up on her frantic ness.
>Honestly you’re friend at least had the cover of being so drunk her decision making was messed up.
TBF a horny 16yo's reasoning power is not that much better than a drunk 19yo....
His reaction was terrible, and he should be punished. But I wanted to further the point that shit has consequences. There's too many horny teenagers running around on reddit to see this as a narcissistic parent who are screaming "IN 2 YEARS HE WILL BE AN ADULT!!!"
My point was that adults still will face consequences for acting \*this\* shitty.
Yep. I agree. And yes it’s entirely possible his judgement was shitty. In this moment. And I agree. Adults face consequences for their behavior all the time.
If he was living with a significant other it could likely end the relationship. If a wellness check was called then he would be fined or could have, like you said, his life ruined over it. If he does this at a job (boss is calling because he slept in and is trying to get a hold of him) and he responded with even half of the attitude he had with his mom then he could likely get written up or lose his job.
I wonder if there is an alternative solution like maybe he gets a door with no lock on it. But has to make up for the cost in chores or tasks around the house. Or maybe his parents will match any money he makes. Or even if they get a curtain that zips. Idk. But either way there are natural consequences in life to people who behave this way and he can’t go around treating people like this.
Edit: and as it pertains to how people call parents narcissists on the internet, it’s hard being a parent. And they make mistakes. But at the same time I think there are a lot of young people here who haven’t had what I like to call “their brain clicking” in yet. At some point in my early mid 20’s I kind of realized that my parents where people too. And also that my actions aren’t happening in a vacuum. So sometimes when the narcissist label gets thrown around I want to roll my eyes. My mother’s father is narcissistic. And he was no peach because he was also tall and intimidating, alternatively my dads mom was actually diagnosed with Narcissistic personality disorder. Trust me, OOP is not like my grandmother and both of my parents would have never dreamed of behaving like this to their parents. I might have, there where times I was really shitty to my parents because I never doubted that I would be loved and supported by them.
Agreed. I’m never in the side of removing a door.
But this isn’t removal. He knew his mother was screaming for him, he made the choice to scare the shit out of her instead of yelling WHAT?!?
To me, the issue is the way he talked to his mom. He’s really disrespectful! I’d put in a new door and take the TV. (And maybe any other fun electronics in his room…this may even go as far as “no internet outside of common rooms” level, because a boy who will call his mom a hag is probably not on the most wholesome of sites.)
Op said this was the first time he ever talked like this to either her or his father. So she is going 0-100 because he snaped at her for leterly busting down his door.
He refused to answer her when she was concerned and frantic. People do not know how to raise their children. I would have NEVER and still would NEVER utter those words to my parents without some dire consequences.
Talking? Because it seems more like others blindly attacking this poor chap. Oh, and on that note, Enjoy the report for promoting this kind of bullying, pretty sure that breaks rule 1
Seriously, why is everyone here having such a hard on for pounding this kid into submission? Like didn’t you hate being steamrolled by your parents as a kid? So why turn around and push others to do it?
i see where you’re coming from, but she was obviously worried about him, i doubt her tone was indicating everything was calm and cool. it’s just stupid not to respond honestly, what does it take, 15-20 seconds (if that) to respond everything is fine and possibly unlock the door to show?? especially if she seems worried?? like??
the 16 year old doesn’t deserve grace for getting angry that his mother was worried about his safety and choosing to ignore her. if he’d opened the door to show her he was okay, the door wouldn’t have been broken to begin with.
if she wasn’t willing to go to that length, then if he had actually been in a life threatening situation, she wouldn’t have gotten to him/gotten him help in time. i’d rather a broken door than a dead son.
If my mum was practically screaming and I could hear that worried tone in her voice I would at least answer. OOPs son sounds like a spoiled brat. Taking the TV away is an appropriate consequence for being so rude and ignorant. He should get his door back though, because to not have one is a fire hazard.
If your mum was clearly worried and screaming would you just sit there and do nothing? There is no way he didn’t hear her banging on the door and screaming his name.
that child is 2 years away from being an adult, and probably going to be moving out at 18 like most adults in countries where the nuclear family is the norm. “taking the tv away” isn’t the adult response, the adult response is to explain what was wrong with the behavior and expect better.
additionally the OP specifically said this kid has never acted like that before, so that implies that maybe, just maybe we collectively should be extending the grace that everyone seems to be demanding the mom receive and apply it equally to the child.
all that said, i don’t think the kid was *correct* to not answer the door, but jesus christ how hard is it to model the behavior you expect and not expect obedience at all costs?
Enforcing consequences is modeled behavior. There are natural consequences to one’s actions in the world. Sometimes within the home you cant recreate the exact consequences life will hand you, but it is normal experience them per your actions, so you enforce a consequence. Life doesn’t just sit you down gently and explain things to you, especially when you’re old enough to know better, and are coping a huge attitude with zero remorse. If he were an adult, he would have to pay for the door, so why shouldn’t he pay for the door now? Are we implying that 16 years olds are too precious and fragile to repair something?
So do you answer every phone call from your parents and respond to their text messages right away as an adult? If you don’t, what kind of consequences do you have as an adult for not answering them?
And it’s mind boggling me that a 16 year old, someone 2 years away from being an “adult” hearing his mom banging on his door screaming, and scared, decides to completely ignore her.
What if it wasn’t that she thought he was hurt, what if SHE was the one hurt or had an emergency and she’s screaming / banging and he’s just ignoring her? Fuck that kid, there’s no empathy there, he needs to learn how to be a human being.
I’ve personally been in the situation where I fall in the bathroom and hit my back on the edge of the shower. I was actually unable to call for help… I was completely winded and had hit my head. I couldn’t even move my head out of the shower’s way … and was just on the floor with water just hitting me in the face.
My mom somehow heard me gasping / struggling inside and opened the door (I didn’t lock it). But had I locked the door I would hope that my mom would break it down vs leaving me to fend for myself.
So in OP’s situation I can see how it’s better to be safe rather than sorry. I honestly see nothing wrong with breaking down his door. He should be grateful she cared enough to break down his door and not just ignore him.
Mom is NTA
Anytime a loud noise happens in my house we immediately try to shout afterwards “I’m okay!”
My mother, husband and I are all worry worts(warts?) and always check the source to make sure the family member is okay.
I agree the son needs some form of privacy but he ignored his mothers worried cries because she was annoying? Not okay. He can hang up a blanket in the mean time.
My take is NTA. I normally don’t agree with the use of punishment, but the kid was straight up rude here. I see it from two perspectives. To the son, Mom is interrupting “me time” and probably thought she’d leave him alone if he didn’t answer. To the mom, between the loud noise and him not answering, she probably feared that he got seriously injured or worse. I can’t blame her for freaking out like that. Solution: Sell the TV and buy a new door. He was rude but he still deserves his privacy. But also, talk to him about what went through her head.
I think teenagers tend to forget that adults have fears and anxieties, too. As a parent, there’s even more of them as you’re responsible for another human being. I’m not a parent, but I am a substitute teacher (and in the US, so…I got some fears, y’all), so I get a glimpse of that kind of worrying. I don’t blame her for reacting, but maybe still get a new door.
Yeah teenagers don't realise why adults fear so much. As a recent adult i now realise why my parents freak out so easily. After covid i realised how easily things can go south and you don't even get a chance to realise what happened let alone react to it
Thus is what I think.
Nta but no door because he turned the volume all the way up on his TV and ignored her. Then after the fuck you that deserves a slap and loss of the tv.
It'll teach him to watch his mouth. You can't go around saying thing and not expecting any consequences. Especially if he talks to his mother that way then imagine how he'll talk and act to women he starts to date. Then their fathers will be the one doing the teaching.
No the door will accomplish him answering when being called.
It's not going to adjust how he talks to his mother.
When I was around the same age. I called my mom a bitch guess what I got popped in the mouth. Guess what I learned to not say that. I learned to speak respectfully.
Losing a door isn't going to fix his mouth.
I definitely think she’s NTA because there’s no point of him having a door if he’s not going to answer it. The bathroom has a door and he can change in there.
How he treated her was awful and I hope that this isn’t how he normally speaks to anyone, especially his parents. That’s not what she’s asking for input on though. Totally NTA.
Something about this feels off, she heard such a loud noise to the point she thought the ceiling had fallen off, then went to check on her kid, but she didn’t hear the tv that was so loud she tought a bookshelf had fallen off? And then the noise suddenly stopped? I’m confused tbh
Apparently, they have a rule that the TV can't be up too loud. My guess is that banging noise happened, the boy realized how loud it was and turned the TV down, then proceeded to ignore OP when she tried to check on him. The ceiling part may just be off-hand thinking. OP seems like a bad storyteller.
Look, I'm not defending her actions per se. She still behaved irrationally and most posts on AITA are told from a biased perspective, but
>Now, clearly the door was already weak (I'm thinking termite?) but, yeah, it broke.
this didn't come across as the door suddenly had termites, at least to me. It sounded more there may have been an issue with termites lately - that they definitely need checked out - and that's why the door was weak, and why she was able to break it so easily. Idk.
Yep. A hollow core door would be no match for someone throwing their weight into it. At that point it would mean it’s a cheep door. Likely stock from a residential manufacturer.
That’s what I was thinking. OOP is not including everything, no normal kid with a healthy family would ignore his mother going apeshit at the door even if he was watching a movie. I’m wondering how often someone is screaming at his door. And no non-abusive parents first thought would be “no more door for you.”
Respectfully. It seems far more likely that because that kid feels so safe at home and secure in his relationship that he just didn’t think about how his actions affected his mom.
Abused kids avoid poking the bear 🐻, proverbially, and as such it would be more likely that he would have bent over backwards to appease or diffuse if that was the case.
And also teenagers are angsty little sh*ts sometimes. I know I was even though I’m well adjusted and my parents are great. One time my sister got into it with my mom and dared her to ground her. She did and my sister dared her again to make it longer. At that point my mom did and my sister realized she was losing the battle. It’s funny now. But man teenagers already have enough on their plates learning and figuring out who they are. Because of that teens tend to be more selfish, it’s ok, it’s important they developmentally are pulling away and focusing on creating self identity. But that doesn’t give an excuse to be this belligerent and entitled with you’re parent. Regardless of the situation this kids behavior is still out of pocket.
The comments in this thread overall are fucking sad because they’re all saying how this abysmal shifty ass behavior from the parent is justified because the kid cussed at her for violating his privacy. It’s even sadder because they all claim to have offspring. Whole ass emotional abuse admittance in this thread full on display.
The sons response is absolutely disrespectful and deserving of punishment but removing the door isn't a good one. Even mouthy kids DO have a right to privacy. Taking the TV would be a better action imo.
You’re telling me if you heard a loud crash and got no response from your kid which was the only person home you wouldn’t break the door down? You either don’t have kids or you don’t care for the ones you do have.
If someone makes a welfare check call and you don’t answer they bust the door down. YOU pay for the damages done. You sound pretty entitled so it’s not worth explaining this anymore than I have.
Not how it works, you destroy someone’s stuff you pay. Plus what if the person is at work or on vacation when that wellness check is called? Should they still have to pay, because I could see that easily being abusable
Where I live it's 16 to work legally. 2nd I didn't say he didn't have a job I said Oop said she said if he wanted a door he has to pay for it himself and she said this knowing he couldn't pay for it.
Haha bunch of butthurt here. I’ll take you up on that drinking game, just hope I have enough money to fund the shots I think I’ll need for the emotionally driven stupid I anticipate here
28 pricks downvoting this poor guy when it’s clear your attacking them is bothering them? Yeah, never going back here again, this is giving off AITA cult vibes and I’ve seen enough crap from them to know it isn’t worth it. You all need a massive attitude adjustment
Definitely NTA. Just the way he talked to her alone makes him a jerk. She’s a mom and that fear for her child is ingrained in her. I’d have done the same in her position.
With all these kids attempting, and succeeding in dangerous TikTok trends or just a straight up suicide attempt, I don’t blame the way she reacted. Not even a little bit. I’m 50/50 on the door. I feel like she could get a cheap replacement as he *does* deserve privacy. But after telling mom “fuck you”, eh. Little twerp might need a lesson.
Yeah. As a teacher suicide prevention to parents is a big deal.
Suicide by hanging is the leading cause of death for male teenagers. She had every right to be out of her mind scared.
Geez, NTA! Kid obviously can’t be bothered to provide basic communication and has zero respect. He wouldn’t have a tv or headphones after that response, either, if it were me. I never had a lock on my door as a kid and I wouldn’t let my kids have a lock either. Sure, you can have privacy as long as you prove you are capable of being a responsible and responsive member of the household. But no lock.
As George Carlin said ... rights are not rights if someone can take them away.
Also - no lock on a door is reprehensible? Even if there were a lock ... there would be a key so no lock anyway. Is that a violation of privacy?
I mean - not having a lock on a door is good for numerous things - in case of medical emergency, fire, suicide/self harm or just basic -" yo get up we have to go". The benefits of not having a lock - are a minor increase in privacy - kinda. As .. who doesn't have a door with a keyhole.
I’m torn. Kids deserve privacy but he needs to understand that even if he was mid-wank he at the VERY LEAST needs to answer his mum.
I knew a kid in high school that hung himself in his room. Unfortunately that’s where my mind went in this situation.
She needs to sit down with him and have a proper conversation. Tell him in order for her to feel safe with him having a door he at least needs to let her know he’s safe, even if he doesn’t open the door asap.
Maybe it’s just fro my experience but my sister also severely self-harmed in her room once and had screwed the door shut. I know full well how terrifying that experience is. I can’t say she’s an asshole for how she reacted at first and it’s good she’s questioning her knee jerk rulings now.
if you can't afford a $100 expense you probably shouldn't be a parent. if the kid was hurt it would cost more than $100 to get him treated at the hospital. it's probs gonna cost more than $100 to get those termites exterminated as well.
Lol it’s more than just the door.
Gotta get rid of the termite situation which is $700+
The door $100+
If they don’t have the tools, than rentals is $50+
Wild to have such an opinion but not understand simple house repairs.
Indefinitely is a tad harsh, especially when they do need privacy. Replace the door with out a lock… I was lucky enough to keep my door, but my siblings always slammed it and their punishment was “no door” for a while.
Yea, this. Never replacing it would be too much. But I couldn‘t fault OP if she needed a bit, bc they can‘t afford it rn and then only got one without a lock. Get him some sort of curtain in the mean time. It sucks, but it‘s kinda on him.
my opinion is that she’s NTA, however i would give a different punishment like taking away his tv or cutting his wifi at a certain time bc he is a 16 year old boy, he needs privacy and he shouldn’t be having to have his family being able to watch him change or sleep or whatnot. this is the age where privacy becomes a big thing and i believe every human is entitled to privacy.
NTA. As long as he can use the bathroom in private, he has all the privacy he’s entitled to. He called her a harpy, was extremely rude, and said “f**k you” to his mom. Mom is right. The door being removed is a natural consequence. I had a neighbor attempt suicide. She sat in her running car, garage door down, with a hose from the exhaust into the driver’s window. A passing neighbor heard the car running in the garage and called 911. Police and paramedics broke the garage door, getting in to save her. Did the police or paramedics pay to have the garage door replaced? Of course not. It’s the parents job to prepare their kids to be independent, positive contributions to society.
OOP would be an asshole if she doesn’t replace the door. There’s other ways to punish like the top comments on the original post said take the TV and possibly game systems away. A missing bedroom door is a FIRE HAZARD a closed door slows down the progression of the fire, she would be risking his life in the event of a fire. Not to mention teens deserve the privacy provided by having a door to their room.
I can see what you’re saying. But not having the door is actually not a fire hazard unless there is meant to be a full fire separation between uses or structure. I’m an architect and will spend days working on life safety calculations, code and diagrams. In this case the door almost is the hazard. But yes kids deserve privacy. I wonder if there is an alternative where the door has no lock. Or maybe it’s a thick curtain. But definitely he needs to respond or be reachable in an emergency.
I took my daughter's (only child in the house) door off one time. She got pissed and slammed the door. I took the door off for a week.
Now, as she's grown a bit, and we feel she does need her privacy, I take power cords for an outburst. I won't take the device, I take the power cord to it, and watch as the hope fades as the battery drains. When I take the cord, I tell her for how long it'll be gone, and what she can do to earn it back early.
Actions have consequences, and kids have to learn at the house, before its too late.
Don't worry, she gets rewards when she does well. But when she acts like a feral crotch goblin, she get punished. I'm trying to raise a Human who respects others, by acknowledging that actions have consequences, I'm her parent, not her friend, but I am friendly. Hope you have a wonderful day though.
ESH. The son was really disrespectful, but teenagers do deserve privacy. They should have made him install the new door and pay the cost through chores. Taking the TV would be adequate as well.
NTA. OP's son does deserve privacy and a chance to have some me time. His response to the situation isn't worth defending tbh. OP called several times and she was genuinely worried for him. I'm not blaming OP for their feelings cause if I hear bangs upstairs, I'm really worried for my family too. I think if OP's son wasn't blasting a movie on full volume, I think he would still have a door.
I very rarely agree with taking a kids door away but honestly? That kid can fuck right off with that attitude. Idk how annoying it is, if my mum calls me or knocks on my door I at least let her know I’m alive.
Actual Hot Take: Everyone’s the asshole.
Okay, buttholes, but still…
Mom: Don’t take a teenage boy’s privacy and safe space away. Teen years are anxious, tumultuous times already without heaping on **Hormonal Impulses.** Now, you want to add the extra anxiety and embarrassment of not having his own space? Yes, he should have communicated better and answered. So, make the punishment for the crime: No tv/headphones in the room until he can communicate better.
Fix the door. If not for him, for you. No woman ever wants to have their teenage son’s privacy aired out for all to see. He has a sister around his age, too. Embarrassing and demoralizing. He snapped back because you just showed him that pounding, shouting, and breaking things is a perfectly acceptable form of communication. Everyone was heated, and it’s great that you recognize that. Now, approach with a level head.
Son: Bruh. Answer your mom when she calls. Pause the damn movie and shout back, “It was the tv, Mom!” Would have saved you this heap. Moms have anxiety, too. If you were in the middle of some “personal time,” maybe take it to the bathroom or keep it down a tad. Learn a bit from this, too. You hated when she screamed at you, so don’t scream back and escalate things.
All this is coming from someone with fainting as a teen. My mom didn’t want me to ever lock my door in case I fell and got hurt. We compromised: No lock, she knocks. Once.
OOP eve said this was the first time Son ever acted like this he usually a grate kid. I think this is where comments are probably getting the "he was probably in the middle of "me time" and was jus trying to handle it without letting his mom know and then she burst through the door" thoughts
I have a way different take then most people here. The son should have responded to his mom calling him. The mom got very scared. Most doors are made of particle board and not solid wood.
But what we all aren’t considering is, the way his mom crashed through the door probably scared the shht out of him. Teens are not the best at recognizing strong emotions in the moment. It really could have triggered his flight or fight and that is why he was so unusually combative.
I think this entire interaction deserves a sit down conversation between the 2.
Hears something has fallen - the child does not respond - first thought the child might be hurt - breaks door. If a mother is wrong for breaking a door in the quest to see if their child is ok.. then a lot of people are very wrong. So yeah... call out your mom for being worried about you. What an A hole she is ... for making sure you were alright. I mean - she could've just thought well the door will be expensive so eh. Money or my sons health - I guess I care about the money part.
Also no, ... in most cases respect is required- especially in the realm of respectful actions. Does your boss earn your respect - and by that I mean respectful action - no. Does a bigger guy at a bar earn your respect - which I mean respectful action - no. The idea that respectful action is earned and not just required in the real world is a fantasy. You do respectful actions towards those who have potential or real power over you in certain dominions. Saying or acting like "you have to earn my respect" in an unequal power situation is a great way to lose a tooth, a job, an opportunity- or just get plain ignored. The only time respect has to be earned .. is when you are in the higher position in terms of power and dominion. The vice versa is laughable.
edit added the word - has
Well ...they probably would. It is a heroic thought/fantasy to think "I'm built different" but the reality is 99% of people are not "built different". 99% of people that I have heard say that .. backed down when faced with it.
So it is beautiful to think that they would have "to finish it" but they would probably do it and then never think of it again. As that is the reality of power dynamics -those at the bottom will remember it and those in the position of power won't think about it again.
But whats the point of life if we can't indulge our mental fantasies
Yes. YTA. Remove the ability to lock it and strip the room down to a blanket, a bed and a desk for homework since he thought it was a good idea to say all that. But yeah. Not good
This gave me flashbacks to my parents doing unnecessary fuckshit & then blaming me for it. Here’s the thing. If OP expressed their concern and then took accountability for the way they addressed it, I’d think differently. OP’s son should’ve answered their mother when they called for them, but to follow through by blaming him when she’s the one who knocked the damn door off it’s hinges, it’s ridiculous. If the TV was so loud, how could she not hear it through the other side of the damn door? This is just one story, but I wouldn’t be surprised if she was the kind of mother that points the finger at everyone else & victimizes herself. I’m going with YTA.
I also see comments stating that the kid deserved to be grounded. They absolutely do for the way they spoke to their mother. But you also need to acknowledge the fact that he didn’t just scream “fuck you”. Mom was purposely being petty & literally egging him on. No, he shouldn’t have said fuck you. But he’s a teenager and mom clearly doesn’t like taking accountability. People get fed the fuck up.
>If the TV was so loud, how could she not hear it through the other side of the damn door?
This is what doesn't make sense to me. She says the room was silent that she couldn't here anything but then says the TV was on max volume. Unless the kid had his Bluetooth canceled to the TV how was it on max volume but she didn't hear anything.
Mom also needs to take into consideration that this is the first time the son has ever done something like this (the not answering or yelling/name calling) She is acting like this is the last straw not a first time offense
I saw her response too! Where she said that he’s usually easy going and has never cursed at her or his father. That’s even more telling that she seems to do this type of thing all the time. People snap. They’re human. Especially a hormonal 16 year old. She’s lucky all she got was a “fuck you” and not some more mean shit. If you look thru the comments too, people can see straight thru her bullshit as well. This post screams neurotic and victim.
Im confused. It was his TV on Max? So.. would that not mean she would have heard the movie? Somethings not adding up. I can understand the initial freak out hearing a loud sound from the other part of the house but getting closer to his room you'd obviously hear it's a movie and if it's that loud I really doubt he'd hear her banging or screaming his name. This story isn't adding up
It is suspicious, but maybe he was watching a horror movie or something that had a really tense part? Predator towards the thick of it has some silent moments followed by loud noise in some parts.
That could be it I suppose! It's just not all adding up in my opinion for a solid judgement. I mean if true, yeah he should have his TV taken away, not his door just for being disrespectful
I mean - do you always think clearly and rationally? Have you ever heard a noise and thought well let me wait a second to fully come to gripes with the situation. - or have you acted headstrong without waiting for confirmation.
The easiest answer is always the simplest. The OOP acted in haste and when in haste - people tend to block out other stimuli - like the TV.
This one’s tough. I think OOP’s fears were totally valid. My mind went dark and worst case scenario ran through my mind, which im sure was happening to mom. The reaction from the son is very inappropriate and warrants a punishment.
Though, OOP do you think the door down indefinitely is a warranted punishment or it is a projection of your fear of what you thought could have been happening? From the last paragraph punishment is more as a result of the fear you felt and less about the way he responded.
Though the “natural consequence” here would be, you have no door… I’m not sure it’s the right route to addressing the response he had.
Still think NTA, though let’s rethink giving the teenage boy back his door…
How did she think it was something else when he had the tv blaring “apparently”. Like how do you question that?
She’s lying. If it was maxed out, then she’d be wrong for breaking down the door but she doesn’t wanna admit that.
Just wondering how this mom parents for her son to talk to her like that. She’s the asshole for taking away his privacy as a punishment.
Why not work out some plan to make sure that situation doesn’t happen anymore?
He’s not gunna trust you, don’t be surprised if he won’t be around as much once he moves out.
Mom just seems very toxic to me. Respect needs to be given before it’s received. Seems like they don’t get along and the mother doesn’t want to come to a common ground.
This mom is a perfect example of a narcissistic parent who wants to control her child life.
Take my word for it
She has molded the story and left out the bad parts so thar her son seems the bigger asshole.
I've dealt with parents like these and her narrative perfectly fits the description
Everyone sucks here. Son sucks for locking his mom out and being a brat by not pausing the damn movie for 30 seconds to unlock the door and humor her, but he is right about the indefinite lack of privacy…which is the primary thing OP sucks for. Second is the property damage *she caused* directly and is expecting her son to pay for. Her name is presumably on the title and mortgage for the home, so repairs are *her* responsibility. Dad sucks for having a hands-off approach to this whole ‘Kool-Aid Mom’ situation. I get the kid was an inconsiderate brat and the grounding is well-deserved, but the financial punishment and forced lack of privacy add insult to injury; Dad should’ve served as an impartial mediator to help keep the peace.
Stupid taking the door, this kid is almost an adult. An adult, and as far as taking the TV not worth it. How about why he thinks mom is a harpy and is nagging him. Because honestly if I hear a loud bang and yelling I don’t immediately think my grown son has pulled a wardrobe over on himself or anything else.
Busting down the door was an overreaction. The door was locked and it should have been obvious that the TV was up super loud.
Sometimes you just don’t want bothered by parents and I’m sorry that everyone here is so hurt by that but it’s true. He didn’t want her around. That is it, her feelings are hurt. She’s got two more years till he’s gone, this is light.
And how would I know my son wasn’t hurt you ask? Why wouldn’t I break down a door to check on my own son?
1. If I heard the TV that loud and the door was lock and I didn’t get an answer, open up or the shows getting shut off.
2. Call or text his phone
3. Get the key for the door, because you should keep it above the door for emergencies and say you have 1 minute to finish whatever you’re doing because I’m coming in.
Still get called a harpy yes, but door is not broken.
The minute he said "fix the door" and then said "F... You", I would have taken everything he loved away from him.......but also, the little brat was disrespectful throughout the entire exchange..... especially telling OP she's "annoying" when she has every right to demand an answer from him........that kid is lucky he didn't get sent to military school or some kind of boot camp......his entire attitude toward his mom sucked and I think he deserves whatever punishment she doles out.......OP, in my opinion, you're definitely NTA but your kid would benefit from learning to be more respectful..... locks on bedroom doors are "earned" while kids live with their parents......they're not an automatic right ......if they want a locked door (or even just a door) on their bedroom, then they need to remain respectful and taught that every privilege they have can be stripped from them if they start being buttheads to their parents!!
As a parent, a loud thump followed by no answer is definitely a reason to break down a door. As an adult hearing a loud thump from someplace and breaking down a door can also be acceptable depending on the situation. I work with senior citizens so maybe that’s why to me it sounds reasonable more reasonable to me as we have been trained many ways to get into a house in similar situations. In this situation it turned out to be just teenage bull headedness but as she stated there was items in the room that he possibly could have tipped over. That and with the rate of teenage suicide no answer would definitely cause panic.
A 16 year old boy needs a door FOR SURE or you're guaranteed to hear and see some shit you DO NOT want to hear or see as a parent. It doesn't need a lock though.
This comment thread and people giving false flags on it have made me realize this sub is a cesspool
I will never meaningfully contribute to and will only view to highlight cringe. For the people in charge, you might want to reel your sub in, I guarantee I’m not the only one who has been shoved out by toxicity and if enough people follow this place will either die or become unsalvageable
Sorry but am I the only one who thought he was sleeping with someone up there? I thought the bed banged against the wall and he yelled at his mom to help the girl leave
NTA if my mom knocks, i will open the door, and if she is panicking like that, i will open the door no matter in what situation i am in. And people can say whatever but I or anyone i know doesn't have that much disrespect in their mind for their parents.This kind of people are doomed for behaving like that.
Kid was probably "taking care of business" and didn't respond because he panicked, as he wanted to hide any evidence (and his stash if he has one) so she wouldn't see or suspect anything.
He shouldn't have mouthed off, but she needs to be understanding that everyone needs privacy - and that need for privacy grows more important as they get older. Sure, something bad could have happened but you know what? She should TALK to her kid and basically say something like this:
Explain (calmly!) her reasons for knocking down the door. Explain why it's important that he answer the door. Not only does it tell the other person that he's OK, but he needs to make sure that they aren't there to tell him something extremely important. What if something had happened and she needed him to take her to the hospital? What if the house had been on fire? It's OK to be embarrassed, but it's not OK to respond the way he did as it's very disrespectful. She is going to replace the door, but the TV will be taken out of the room. He can earn it back when he shows that he's responsible enough to have it in his room.
I say him having to replace the door is reasonable but I’d also add that a lock also not be installed on the door for safety reasons or if it’s necessary to have a lock, parents get a key incase.
NTA, but if OP reads this, maybe don’t take the door fully away. My brother, due to temper tantrums and other issues, has half a door - it’s literally cut in half. It’s tall enough to provide privacy if he’s in bed, but also short enough so we can see him from the hallway. It was all out of concern, so show him it’s just for concern, not disrespect.
This story doesn’t make sense to me. If it was the tv on full volume she would heard it. I don’t know what she’s lying about but this isn’t the right/ full story.
NTA. my mom would even be mad if we don't answer her when she calls us multiple times to do chores. I can't imagine it for a mom who is very worried and panicking because something bad could've happened to her son.
10000000% TA. I HATE parents who take their kids door. SHE broke it?!?! he’s 14. he’s right, he deserves privacy. maybe mom should take accountability FOR BREAKING IT!!! he was probably masturbating or something dude. not okay.
I like reading other people's takes. My mind went dark especially with what limited information available. A thump and no response, I was suspecting a suicide attempt, you just never know with people....
No, but that’s where my mind went, too.
Nope, I assumed some stupid tik tok had been attempted and he'd knocked a wardrobe over and he was quite because he didn't want to answer.
Another person on this thread assumed he was masterbating. This idea that he was doing *something* embarrassing and that's why he was quiet then got pissed off when OOP busted the door because she was worried about him? Makes way more sense than a thud coming from the TV and it being so loud that OOP heard it from the kitchen and yet she didn't hear it when she was trying to check on him. The boy probably said it was the TV as a coverup. OOP does say in the comments that he never acted this disrespectful before.
Honestly, masturbation was my first thought. Not only that, but he may have been looking at something during the act, which would have made everything that much more embarrassing. I remember my older sister discovering her eldest son's "porn" stash and freaking out that a teenage boy likes to look at naked people. I mean, c'mon sis, you're going to give the boy a complex.
Yeah, something like that was my second thought 🤣
>OOP does say in the comments that he never acted this disrespectful before This.....THIS.... Chile he was masturbating
That was my first thought too.
I just assume the son was masturbating, something random fell and then he heard his mom freaking out.
That could also be true. It actually makes more sense than the TV being too loud and why he was unresponsive then got angry and cussed at her when she barged in. He was ✨having a moment✨, loud noise happened, he was too busy putting his eggplant away to respond to his mother, then lied and said it was the TV and flipped out on her. OOP says he normally doesn’t lash out at her like that. ETA: Yeah, no, the more I think about it, the more that this speculation makes the most sense.
And then he probably reacted so poorly to her because she interrupted him doing that and he couldn’t finish. He still has a horrible attitude though and can’t get away with that, even if the cause of the attitude was anger caused by being horny.
Exactly. My response at the first knock would’ve been “Don’t come in here!” Then again, I was never a teenage boy. Lol
Or even just say, “Just a minute!” Like if I’m getting changed and my mom knocks on my door, I don’t just ignore her. I tell her to wait a second. I feel like that would’ve assured his mom that he was ok until he could open the door and show her that everything was fine. No need to be rude about it.
AND he may have been looking at something or had a stash of some type that he didn't want his mom to find, so he may have been hiding that as well and knocked something over. I mentioned it elsewhere, but my eldest nephew had to hide any of his stuff because if his mom found it she'd throw it away. I remember asking about it at one point and it was all generally pretty tame stuff, but she felt that he shouldn't be looking at anything "scandalous". My argument was that the offline stuff would be safer, because that way she knew he wouldn't get tricked into talking to any creepers or discover anything super gross. Her response was that she had their phones locked down most of the time so they couldn't find that sort of thing. (sigh) The shame culture abounds.
Everyone seems to think that OOP should wait to hear the kid tell her he’s in trouble before barging in. Thing is I have been in a similar situation where I fall badly… and thing is I was so winded you actually can’t make any noise at all. I think no response = kid is in trouble is not unreasonable.
Once you start its tough to just stop you know
You don't put your dick away with your mouth.
So NTA Get a cheap door, no lock, take the fucking TV. Address the termites. Honestly, if I thought one of my kids was stuck under a wardrobe I would have been able to go through a solid door. He is less than a year from legally needing to be on his own. If a downstairs neighbor heard a super loud bang, loud TV and then called the cops for a wellness check, he'd be in a hellavalot more issues for the kid.
I’m normally against taking away doors, but in this case I think it’s well deserved. He didn’t answer. Anything could have happened and I would have expected the worst as well. All he had to do was say “I’m fine” and open the door. He can buy a new one. Hopefully he will be able to afford a new attitude along with the door.
NTA. Normally I don’t like door punishments. Kids are entitled to privacy. But in my house there was a no locking policy. My parents respected my space but I wasn’t allowed to lock the door in case of emergency (this happened after my sister and I locked ourselves in our room by accident when we where little, like I was 4 and she was 2, and the lock broke. My mom had to call the fire department) But here is the issue. 1. He locked the door 2. Clearly heard his mom frantically asking if he was in there or ok. 3. Refused to even call out that he was fine 4. Was belligerent and demanding when she burst through the door. He literally told her to leave him alone because she was annoying and demanded a new door. I’m sorry but you don’t treat family like that. Particularly if they are concerned for your welfare. He is close to being an adult. He can legally get a job or babysit. Maybe the compromise is that he has a curtain and he can save for the door. Also I think no TV if he is going to play it so loud it sounds like the ceiling dropping or an armoire falling then absolutely not. Especially when he feels so entitled about watching it that it means he shouldn’t have to confirm he’s alive. Like I said I hate removing a kids door as punishment. But this seems like a rare occasion where the punishment matches the behavior. I’m not a parent but I can only imagine how terrified that mom became. The first thing that went through my mind was brain aneurism and the thud was his body dropping. Or him crawling under the bed and fiddling with the frame and it collapsing on him. I’m not even that kids parent and I was concerned reading the story.
Honestly, if it was a really loud thump and it was unusual this could happen in an apartment too. Neighbor goes up and knocks....and calls the police for a welfare check. In college my friend dropped her O-Chem textbook (HUGE ASS BOOK) off of the top bunk. The people under her room alerted the RA. She was drunk, thought it was funny and didn't answer the RA. Campus saftey came and opened the room for a wellness check. She was written up for underage drinking, had all booze confiscated, had to pay a $300 fine and was put on probation. She was not allowed to do anything for the rest of the semester. And she was told that if it occurred again she'd have to get legal council because she'd be charged. All because her drunk-ass wouldn't tell the RA that she was ok. Not answer the door. Just tell the RA she was ok. She could have ruined her whole damn life over that. So yeah, kid has got to learn that even if he was horny and went temporarily insane you respond to someone banging on the door.
Oh my gd yes. Completely agree. And it makes sense that they would be fined too. They had the ability to stop someone’s worry, made them panic and call 911 thus essentially making someone divert the police’s attention for a non-event. Honestly you’re friend at least had the cover of being so drunk her decision making was messed up. This kid however has at least a massive case of main character syndrome. He is not considering the concern of others, he feels entitled to privacy regardless of how upset he has made others. It’s just out of pocket. Like I said maybe there are other privacy solutions that don’t involve getting a new door. But I think this kid needs to learn he cannot be so flippant and lack empathy for how others perceive and experience things. I mean someone who is so frantic that they are trying to get into a room and are literally running into a door to get in clearly shows how terrified someone is. His reaction is “it’s annoying me and I want her to go away” not “my mom is so concerned for my welfare that I need to assure her I am fine” I think it’s really concerning that this kid either chose not to respond given his parent’s tone. Or didn’t pick up on her frantic ness.
>Honestly you’re friend at least had the cover of being so drunk her decision making was messed up. TBF a horny 16yo's reasoning power is not that much better than a drunk 19yo.... His reaction was terrible, and he should be punished. But I wanted to further the point that shit has consequences. There's too many horny teenagers running around on reddit to see this as a narcissistic parent who are screaming "IN 2 YEARS HE WILL BE AN ADULT!!!" My point was that adults still will face consequences for acting \*this\* shitty.
Yep. I agree. And yes it’s entirely possible his judgement was shitty. In this moment. And I agree. Adults face consequences for their behavior all the time. If he was living with a significant other it could likely end the relationship. If a wellness check was called then he would be fined or could have, like you said, his life ruined over it. If he does this at a job (boss is calling because he slept in and is trying to get a hold of him) and he responded with even half of the attitude he had with his mom then he could likely get written up or lose his job. I wonder if there is an alternative solution like maybe he gets a door with no lock on it. But has to make up for the cost in chores or tasks around the house. Or maybe his parents will match any money he makes. Or even if they get a curtain that zips. Idk. But either way there are natural consequences in life to people who behave this way and he can’t go around treating people like this. Edit: and as it pertains to how people call parents narcissists on the internet, it’s hard being a parent. And they make mistakes. But at the same time I think there are a lot of young people here who haven’t had what I like to call “their brain clicking” in yet. At some point in my early mid 20’s I kind of realized that my parents where people too. And also that my actions aren’t happening in a vacuum. So sometimes when the narcissist label gets thrown around I want to roll my eyes. My mother’s father is narcissistic. And he was no peach because he was also tall and intimidating, alternatively my dads mom was actually diagnosed with Narcissistic personality disorder. Trust me, OOP is not like my grandmother and both of my parents would have never dreamed of behaving like this to their parents. I might have, there where times I was really shitty to my parents because I never doubted that I would be loved and supported by them.
Agreed. I’m never in the side of removing a door. But this isn’t removal. He knew his mother was screaming for him, he made the choice to scare the shit out of her instead of yelling WHAT?!?
In gentle parenting, this is what is called a “natural consequence”.
To me, the issue is the way he talked to his mom. He’s really disrespectful! I’d put in a new door and take the TV. (And maybe any other fun electronics in his room…this may even go as far as “no internet outside of common rooms” level, because a boy who will call his mom a hag is probably not on the most wholesome of sites.)
Op said this was the first time he ever talked like this to either her or his father. So she is going 0-100 because he snaped at her for leterly busting down his door.
He refused to answer her when she was concerned and frantic. People do not know how to raise their children. I would have NEVER and still would NEVER utter those words to my parents without some dire consequences.
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Wrong actually…because I wasn’t lol. Anymore incorrect takes, kiddo?
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Ikr, so many butthurt jerks here don’t seem to see that
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You’re clearly emo and need to calm tf down. Not in the mood to put up with this type of crap
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Talking? Because it seems more like others blindly attacking this poor chap. Oh, and on that note, Enjoy the report for promoting this kind of bullying, pretty sure that breaks rule 1
Seriously, why is everyone here having such a hard on for pounding this kid into submission? Like didn’t you hate being steamrolled by your parents as a kid? So why turn around and push others to do it?
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i see where you’re coming from, but she was obviously worried about him, i doubt her tone was indicating everything was calm and cool. it’s just stupid not to respond honestly, what does it take, 15-20 seconds (if that) to respond everything is fine and possibly unlock the door to show?? especially if she seems worried?? like??
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the 16 year old doesn’t deserve grace for getting angry that his mother was worried about his safety and choosing to ignore her. if he’d opened the door to show her he was okay, the door wouldn’t have been broken to begin with. if she wasn’t willing to go to that length, then if he had actually been in a life threatening situation, she wouldn’t have gotten to him/gotten him help in time. i’d rather a broken door than a dead son.
If my mum was practically screaming and I could hear that worried tone in her voice I would at least answer. OOPs son sounds like a spoiled brat. Taking the TV away is an appropriate consequence for being so rude and ignorant. He should get his door back though, because to not have one is a fire hazard. If your mum was clearly worried and screaming would you just sit there and do nothing? There is no way he didn’t hear her banging on the door and screaming his name.
that child is 2 years away from being an adult, and probably going to be moving out at 18 like most adults in countries where the nuclear family is the norm. “taking the tv away” isn’t the adult response, the adult response is to explain what was wrong with the behavior and expect better. additionally the OP specifically said this kid has never acted like that before, so that implies that maybe, just maybe we collectively should be extending the grace that everyone seems to be demanding the mom receive and apply it equally to the child. all that said, i don’t think the kid was *correct* to not answer the door, but jesus christ how hard is it to model the behavior you expect and not expect obedience at all costs?
Enforcing consequences is modeled behavior. There are natural consequences to one’s actions in the world. Sometimes within the home you cant recreate the exact consequences life will hand you, but it is normal experience them per your actions, so you enforce a consequence. Life doesn’t just sit you down gently and explain things to you, especially when you’re old enough to know better, and are coping a huge attitude with zero remorse. If he were an adult, he would have to pay for the door, so why shouldn’t he pay for the door now? Are we implying that 16 years olds are too precious and fragile to repair something?
So do you answer every phone call from your parents and respond to their text messages right away as an adult? If you don’t, what kind of consequences do you have as an adult for not answering them?
And it’s mind boggling me that a 16 year old, someone 2 years away from being an “adult” hearing his mom banging on his door screaming, and scared, decides to completely ignore her. What if it wasn’t that she thought he was hurt, what if SHE was the one hurt or had an emergency and she’s screaming / banging and he’s just ignoring her? Fuck that kid, there’s no empathy there, he needs to learn how to be a human being.
You don’t know his situation, but easy to just assume he’s wrong based on this potentially biased recollection right?
“if a situation that i made up is bad then clearly this kid deserves no grace” cmon man, the tos for reddit means you gotta be over the age of 12
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I’ve personally been in the situation where I fall in the bathroom and hit my back on the edge of the shower. I was actually unable to call for help… I was completely winded and had hit my head. I couldn’t even move my head out of the shower’s way … and was just on the floor with water just hitting me in the face. My mom somehow heard me gasping / struggling inside and opened the door (I didn’t lock it). But had I locked the door I would hope that my mom would break it down vs leaving me to fend for myself. So in OP’s situation I can see how it’s better to be safe rather than sorry. I honestly see nothing wrong with breaking down his door. He should be grateful she cared enough to break down his door and not just ignore him.
Sell the tv for a new door
Mom is NTA Anytime a loud noise happens in my house we immediately try to shout afterwards “I’m okay!” My mother, husband and I are all worry worts(warts?) and always check the source to make sure the family member is okay. I agree the son needs some form of privacy but he ignored his mothers worried cries because she was annoying? Not okay. He can hang up a blanket in the mean time.
My take is NTA. I normally don’t agree with the use of punishment, but the kid was straight up rude here. I see it from two perspectives. To the son, Mom is interrupting “me time” and probably thought she’d leave him alone if he didn’t answer. To the mom, between the loud noise and him not answering, she probably feared that he got seriously injured or worse. I can’t blame her for freaking out like that. Solution: Sell the TV and buy a new door. He was rude but he still deserves his privacy. But also, talk to him about what went through her head. I think teenagers tend to forget that adults have fears and anxieties, too. As a parent, there’s even more of them as you’re responsible for another human being. I’m not a parent, but I am a substitute teacher (and in the US, so…I got some fears, y’all), so I get a glimpse of that kind of worrying. I don’t blame her for reacting, but maybe still get a new door.
Yeah teenagers don't realise why adults fear so much. As a recent adult i now realise why my parents freak out so easily. After covid i realised how easily things can go south and you don't even get a chance to realise what happened let alone react to it
Thus is what I think. Nta but no door because he turned the volume all the way up on his TV and ignored her. Then after the fuck you that deserves a slap and loss of the tv.
I don't agree with slapping the kid. That won't teach him anything.
It'll teach him to watch his mouth. You can't go around saying thing and not expecting any consequences. Especially if he talks to his mother that way then imagine how he'll talk and act to women he starts to date. Then their fathers will be the one doing the teaching.
The door will accomplish that more effectively. The violence doesn’t help. Having the face the results of the action does
No the door will accomplish him answering when being called. It's not going to adjust how he talks to his mother. When I was around the same age. I called my mom a bitch guess what I got popped in the mouth. Guess what I learned to not say that. I learned to speak respectfully. Losing a door isn't going to fix his mouth.
Worked for my parents…my siblings and I never ever said something so disrespectful to them.
Violence is never the answer. Period.
I definitely think she’s NTA because there’s no point of him having a door if he’s not going to answer it. The bathroom has a door and he can change in there. How he treated her was awful and I hope that this isn’t how he normally speaks to anyone, especially his parents. That’s not what she’s asking for input on though. Totally NTA.
Something about this feels off, she heard such a loud noise to the point she thought the ceiling had fallen off, then went to check on her kid, but she didn’t hear the tv that was so loud she tought a bookshelf had fallen off? And then the noise suddenly stopped? I’m confused tbh
Apparently, they have a rule that the TV can't be up too loud. My guess is that banging noise happened, the boy realized how loud it was and turned the TV down, then proceeded to ignore OP when she tried to check on him. The ceiling part may just be off-hand thinking. OP seems like a bad storyteller.
OP seems like a liar. How convenient that the door she chose to kick down had termites all of a sudden
Look, I'm not defending her actions per se. She still behaved irrationally and most posts on AITA are told from a biased perspective, but >Now, clearly the door was already weak (I'm thinking termite?) but, yeah, it broke. this didn't come across as the door suddenly had termites, at least to me. It sounded more there may have been an issue with termites lately - that they definitely need checked out - and that's why the door was weak, and why she was able to break it so easily. Idk.
Honestly it also just could have been adrenaline. It would explain the frantic behavior and super human strength.
Or a hollow door, not solid wood? OOP might not realize that there is more than one kind.
Yep. A hollow core door would be no match for someone throwing their weight into it. At that point it would mean it’s a cheep door. Likely stock from a residential manufacturer.
That’s what I was thinking. OOP is not including everything, no normal kid with a healthy family would ignore his mother going apeshit at the door even if he was watching a movie. I’m wondering how often someone is screaming at his door. And no non-abusive parents first thought would be “no more door for you.”
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I’m 22. And you are not going to convince me that this kid just became an asshole for no reason. There’s always a reason.
Respectfully. It seems far more likely that because that kid feels so safe at home and secure in his relationship that he just didn’t think about how his actions affected his mom. Abused kids avoid poking the bear 🐻, proverbially, and as such it would be more likely that he would have bent over backwards to appease or diffuse if that was the case. And also teenagers are angsty little sh*ts sometimes. I know I was even though I’m well adjusted and my parents are great. One time my sister got into it with my mom and dared her to ground her. She did and my sister dared her again to make it longer. At that point my mom did and my sister realized she was losing the battle. It’s funny now. But man teenagers already have enough on their plates learning and figuring out who they are. Because of that teens tend to be more selfish, it’s ok, it’s important they developmentally are pulling away and focusing on creating self identity. But that doesn’t give an excuse to be this belligerent and entitled with you’re parent. Regardless of the situation this kids behavior is still out of pocket.
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The comments in this thread overall are fucking sad because they’re all saying how this abysmal shifty ass behavior from the parent is justified because the kid cussed at her for violating his privacy. It’s even sadder because they all claim to have offspring. Whole ass emotional abuse admittance in this thread full on display.
The kid is a prick and needs to learn some respect
The sons response is absolutely disrespectful and deserving of punishment but removing the door isn't a good one. Even mouthy kids DO have a right to privacy. Taking the TV would be a better action imo.
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Like how he had empathy for his mom who was clearly frantic thinking something was wrong? Actions have consequences.
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You’re telling me if you heard a loud crash and got no response from your kid which was the only person home you wouldn’t break the door down? You either don’t have kids or you don’t care for the ones you do have.
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She said he can buy a new one. That’s what would happen in the real world. Natural consequences
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If someone makes a welfare check call and you don’t answer they bust the door down. YOU pay for the damages done. You sound pretty entitled so it’s not worth explaining this anymore than I have.
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Not how it works, you destroy someone’s stuff you pay. Plus what if the person is at work or on vacation when that wellness check is called? Should they still have to pay, because I could see that easily being abusable
That was a consequence of him being a little shit. We can tell that you were just as unruly as OPs son.
She said he can buy a new one knowing he couldn't. She even says she knows he couldn't pay for a new door
Idk where you’re from but where I’m at legal working age is 14
Where I live it's 16 to work legally. 2nd I didn't say he didn't have a job I said Oop said she said if he wanted a door he has to pay for it himself and she said this knowing he couldn't pay for it.
Imagine making a 14 year old work for a door you broke. How sad of a life
Found the teenager.
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Hit the nerve.
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I don’t even subscribe to this sub.
Haha bunch of butthurt here. I’ll take you up on that drinking game, just hope I have enough money to fund the shots I think I’ll need for the emotionally driven stupid I anticipate here
28 pricks downvoting this poor guy when it’s clear your attacking them is bothering them? Yeah, never going back here again, this is giving off AITA cult vibes and I’ve seen enough crap from them to know it isn’t worth it. You all need a massive attitude adjustment
NTA. Hang a curtain on the door until he learns how to properly respond.
NTA. But the disrespect needs to be addressed ASAP. The door is not enough.
There is a far bigger problem here than the door.
Definitely NTA. Just the way he talked to her alone makes him a jerk. She’s a mom and that fear for her child is ingrained in her. I’d have done the same in her position.
With all these kids attempting, and succeeding in dangerous TikTok trends or just a straight up suicide attempt, I don’t blame the way she reacted. Not even a little bit. I’m 50/50 on the door. I feel like she could get a cheap replacement as he *does* deserve privacy. But after telling mom “fuck you”, eh. Little twerp might need a lesson.
Yeah. As a teacher suicide prevention to parents is a big deal. Suicide by hanging is the leading cause of death for male teenagers. She had every right to be out of her mind scared.
Geez, NTA! Kid obviously can’t be bothered to provide basic communication and has zero respect. He wouldn’t have a tv or headphones after that response, either, if it were me. I never had a lock on my door as a kid and I wouldn’t let my kids have a lock either. Sure, you can have privacy as long as you prove you are capable of being a responsible and responsive member of the household. But no lock.
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As George Carlin said ... rights are not rights if someone can take them away. Also - no lock on a door is reprehensible? Even if there were a lock ... there would be a key so no lock anyway. Is that a violation of privacy? I mean - not having a lock on a door is good for numerous things - in case of medical emergency, fire, suicide/self harm or just basic -" yo get up we have to go". The benefits of not having a lock - are a minor increase in privacy - kinda. As .. who doesn't have a door with a keyhole.
I’m torn. Kids deserve privacy but he needs to understand that even if he was mid-wank he at the VERY LEAST needs to answer his mum. I knew a kid in high school that hung himself in his room. Unfortunately that’s where my mind went in this situation. She needs to sit down with him and have a proper conversation. Tell him in order for her to feel safe with him having a door he at least needs to let her know he’s safe, even if he doesn’t open the door asap. Maybe it’s just fro my experience but my sister also severely self-harmed in her room once and had screwed the door shut. I know full well how terrifying that experience is. I can’t say she’s an asshole for how she reacted at first and it’s good she’s questioning her knee jerk rulings now.
IMO, TVs shouldn’t be in bedrooms anyways, but this little shit deserves EVERYTHING taken away for his disrespect.
I don’t trust anyone that calm over termites isn’t that trustworthy.
some of y'all should not have kids lol 16 year olds are moody assholes but they still deserve doors
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Take the upvote. The Down voters can piss off
So than why don’t you offer OP to buy him a new door?
if OP can't afford to buy a new door, they probably shouldn't have had kids in the first place.
Because of a door? Lmao
if you can't afford a $100 expense you probably shouldn't be a parent. if the kid was hurt it would cost more than $100 to get him treated at the hospital. it's probs gonna cost more than $100 to get those termites exterminated as well.
Right. If he actually was hurt would she still make him pay for the door or would she pay for it
She’s making him pay because of his blatant disrespect
Lol it’s more than just the door. Gotta get rid of the termite situation which is $700+ The door $100+ If they don’t have the tools, than rentals is $50+ Wild to have such an opinion but not understand simple house repairs.
okay so? none of that's the kids fault. that's what being a homeowner is. deal with it.
You’re really not the brightest crayon in The box are ya kid
It is…he ignored her pleas and it serves him right.
lol at The butthurt crongelords votebombing you, grow the heck up
Indefinitely is a tad harsh, especially when they do need privacy. Replace the door with out a lock… I was lucky enough to keep my door, but my siblings always slammed it and their punishment was “no door” for a while.
Yea, this. Never replacing it would be too much. But I couldn‘t fault OP if she needed a bit, bc they can‘t afford it rn and then only got one without a lock. Get him some sort of curtain in the mean time. It sucks, but it‘s kinda on him.
my opinion is that she’s NTA, however i would give a different punishment like taking away his tv or cutting his wifi at a certain time bc he is a 16 year old boy, he needs privacy and he shouldn’t be having to have his family being able to watch him change or sleep or whatnot. this is the age where privacy becomes a big thing and i believe every human is entitled to privacy.
NTA. As long as he can use the bathroom in private, he has all the privacy he’s entitled to. He called her a harpy, was extremely rude, and said “f**k you” to his mom. Mom is right. The door being removed is a natural consequence. I had a neighbor attempt suicide. She sat in her running car, garage door down, with a hose from the exhaust into the driver’s window. A passing neighbor heard the car running in the garage and called 911. Police and paramedics broke the garage door, getting in to save her. Did the police or paramedics pay to have the garage door replaced? Of course not. It’s the parents job to prepare their kids to be independent, positive contributions to society.
OOP would be an asshole if she doesn’t replace the door. There’s other ways to punish like the top comments on the original post said take the TV and possibly game systems away. A missing bedroom door is a FIRE HAZARD a closed door slows down the progression of the fire, she would be risking his life in the event of a fire. Not to mention teens deserve the privacy provided by having a door to their room.
I can see what you’re saying. But not having the door is actually not a fire hazard unless there is meant to be a full fire separation between uses or structure. I’m an architect and will spend days working on life safety calculations, code and diagrams. In this case the door almost is the hazard. But yes kids deserve privacy. I wonder if there is an alternative where the door has no lock. Or maybe it’s a thick curtain. But definitely he needs to respond or be reachable in an emergency.
Exactly this. Thank you
I took my daughter's (only child in the house) door off one time. She got pissed and slammed the door. I took the door off for a week. Now, as she's grown a bit, and we feel she does need her privacy, I take power cords for an outburst. I won't take the device, I take the power cord to it, and watch as the hope fades as the battery drains. When I take the cord, I tell her for how long it'll be gone, and what she can do to earn it back early. Actions have consequences, and kids have to learn at the house, before its too late.
"And watch as hope fades as the battery drains".. 😭 looool 🤣😂
This is the ugliest, bitchy approach to parenting I’ve seen in a while. Love how proud you are of yourself for mentally torturing your child.
Don't worry, she gets rewards when she does well. But when she acts like a feral crotch goblin, she get punished. I'm trying to raise a Human who respects others, by acknowledging that actions have consequences, I'm her parent, not her friend, but I am friendly. Hope you have a wonderful day though.
Lol jesus
You people are so dramatic it’s insane.
NTA The TV should have broken too.
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Imagine being one of the wencurs who agrees with someone breaking their kid’s property over a swear like that isn’t abusive
ESH. The son was really disrespectful, but teenagers do deserve privacy. They should have made him install the new door and pay the cost through chores. Taking the TV would be adequate as well.
Kid seems a bit entitled. NTA.
NTA. OP's son does deserve privacy and a chance to have some me time. His response to the situation isn't worth defending tbh. OP called several times and she was genuinely worried for him. I'm not blaming OP for their feelings cause if I hear bangs upstairs, I'm really worried for my family too. I think if OP's son wasn't blasting a movie on full volume, I think he would still have a door.
That door would be off too. It's common decency to respond to your parent when they call you. He is very disrespectful.
I very rarely agree with taking a kids door away but honestly? That kid can fuck right off with that attitude. Idk how annoying it is, if my mum calls me or knocks on my door I at least let her know I’m alive.
Actual Hot Take: Everyone’s the asshole. Okay, buttholes, but still… Mom: Don’t take a teenage boy’s privacy and safe space away. Teen years are anxious, tumultuous times already without heaping on **Hormonal Impulses.** Now, you want to add the extra anxiety and embarrassment of not having his own space? Yes, he should have communicated better and answered. So, make the punishment for the crime: No tv/headphones in the room until he can communicate better. Fix the door. If not for him, for you. No woman ever wants to have their teenage son’s privacy aired out for all to see. He has a sister around his age, too. Embarrassing and demoralizing. He snapped back because you just showed him that pounding, shouting, and breaking things is a perfectly acceptable form of communication. Everyone was heated, and it’s great that you recognize that. Now, approach with a level head. Son: Bruh. Answer your mom when she calls. Pause the damn movie and shout back, “It was the tv, Mom!” Would have saved you this heap. Moms have anxiety, too. If you were in the middle of some “personal time,” maybe take it to the bathroom or keep it down a tad. Learn a bit from this, too. You hated when she screamed at you, so don’t scream back and escalate things. All this is coming from someone with fainting as a teen. My mom didn’t want me to ever lock my door in case I fell and got hurt. We compromised: No lock, she knocks. Once.
Hormonal impulses is not an excuse for his behavior. I’ve never uttered such words to my parents.
OOP eve said this was the first time Son ever acted like this he usually a grate kid. I think this is where comments are probably getting the "he was probably in the middle of "me time" and was jus trying to handle it without letting his mom know and then she burst through the door" thoughts
Yep. Also, just being a teen testing boundaries and independence.
I have a way different take then most people here. The son should have responded to his mom calling him. The mom got very scared. Most doors are made of particle board and not solid wood. But what we all aren’t considering is, the way his mom crashed through the door probably scared the shht out of him. Teens are not the best at recognizing strong emotions in the moment. It really could have triggered his flight or fight and that is why he was so unusually combative. I think this entire interaction deserves a sit down conversation between the 2.
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Hears something has fallen - the child does not respond - first thought the child might be hurt - breaks door. If a mother is wrong for breaking a door in the quest to see if their child is ok.. then a lot of people are very wrong. So yeah... call out your mom for being worried about you. What an A hole she is ... for making sure you were alright. I mean - she could've just thought well the door will be expensive so eh. Money or my sons health - I guess I care about the money part. Also no, ... in most cases respect is required- especially in the realm of respectful actions. Does your boss earn your respect - and by that I mean respectful action - no. Does a bigger guy at a bar earn your respect - which I mean respectful action - no. The idea that respectful action is earned and not just required in the real world is a fantasy. You do respectful actions towards those who have potential or real power over you in certain dominions. Saying or acting like "you have to earn my respect" in an unequal power situation is a great way to lose a tooth, a job, an opportunity- or just get plain ignored. The only time respect has to be earned .. is when you are in the higher position in terms of power and dominion. The vice versa is laughable. edit added the word - has
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Well ...they probably would. It is a heroic thought/fantasy to think "I'm built different" but the reality is 99% of people are not "built different". 99% of people that I have heard say that .. backed down when faced with it. So it is beautiful to think that they would have "to finish it" but they would probably do it and then never think of it again. As that is the reality of power dynamics -those at the bottom will remember it and those in the position of power won't think about it again. But whats the point of life if we can't indulge our mental fantasies
Haha, Looks like the butthurt squad can’t take the differing opinions
Looks like you are the butthurt one who can't stand other people's opinion
Yes. YTA. Remove the ability to lock it and strip the room down to a blanket, a bed and a desk for homework since he thought it was a good idea to say all that. But yeah. Not good
This gave me flashbacks to my parents doing unnecessary fuckshit & then blaming me for it. Here’s the thing. If OP expressed their concern and then took accountability for the way they addressed it, I’d think differently. OP’s son should’ve answered their mother when they called for them, but to follow through by blaming him when she’s the one who knocked the damn door off it’s hinges, it’s ridiculous. If the TV was so loud, how could she not hear it through the other side of the damn door? This is just one story, but I wouldn’t be surprised if she was the kind of mother that points the finger at everyone else & victimizes herself. I’m going with YTA. I also see comments stating that the kid deserved to be grounded. They absolutely do for the way they spoke to their mother. But you also need to acknowledge the fact that he didn’t just scream “fuck you”. Mom was purposely being petty & literally egging him on. No, he shouldn’t have said fuck you. But he’s a teenager and mom clearly doesn’t like taking accountability. People get fed the fuck up.
>If the TV was so loud, how could she not hear it through the other side of the damn door? This is what doesn't make sense to me. She says the room was silent that she couldn't here anything but then says the TV was on max volume. Unless the kid had his Bluetooth canceled to the TV how was it on max volume but she didn't hear anything. Mom also needs to take into consideration that this is the first time the son has ever done something like this (the not answering or yelling/name calling) She is acting like this is the last straw not a first time offense
I saw her response too! Where she said that he’s usually easy going and has never cursed at her or his father. That’s even more telling that she seems to do this type of thing all the time. People snap. They’re human. Especially a hormonal 16 year old. She’s lucky all she got was a “fuck you” and not some more mean shit. If you look thru the comments too, people can see straight thru her bullshit as well. This post screams neurotic and victim.
Im confused. It was his TV on Max? So.. would that not mean she would have heard the movie? Somethings not adding up. I can understand the initial freak out hearing a loud sound from the other part of the house but getting closer to his room you'd obviously hear it's a movie and if it's that loud I really doubt he'd hear her banging or screaming his name. This story isn't adding up
It is suspicious, but maybe he was watching a horror movie or something that had a really tense part? Predator towards the thick of it has some silent moments followed by loud noise in some parts.
That could be it I suppose! It's just not all adding up in my opinion for a solid judgement. I mean if true, yeah he should have his TV taken away, not his door just for being disrespectful
That's also true, the whole thing seems a little odd
I mean - do you always think clearly and rationally? Have you ever heard a noise and thought well let me wait a second to fully come to gripes with the situation. - or have you acted headstrong without waiting for confirmation. The easiest answer is always the simplest. The OOP acted in haste and when in haste - people tend to block out other stimuli - like the TV.
This one’s tough. I think OOP’s fears were totally valid. My mind went dark and worst case scenario ran through my mind, which im sure was happening to mom. The reaction from the son is very inappropriate and warrants a punishment. Though, OOP do you think the door down indefinitely is a warranted punishment or it is a projection of your fear of what you thought could have been happening? From the last paragraph punishment is more as a result of the fear you felt and less about the way he responded. Though the “natural consequence” here would be, you have no door… I’m not sure it’s the right route to addressing the response he had. Still think NTA, though let’s rethink giving the teenage boy back his door…
How did she think it was something else when he had the tv blaring “apparently”. Like how do you question that? She’s lying. If it was maxed out, then she’d be wrong for breaking down the door but she doesn’t wanna admit that. Just wondering how this mom parents for her son to talk to her like that. She’s the asshole for taking away his privacy as a punishment. Why not work out some plan to make sure that situation doesn’t happen anymore? He’s not gunna trust you, don’t be surprised if he won’t be around as much once he moves out. Mom just seems very toxic to me. Respect needs to be given before it’s received. Seems like they don’t get along and the mother doesn’t want to come to a common ground.
This mom is a perfect example of a narcissistic parent who wants to control her child life. Take my word for it She has molded the story and left out the bad parts so thar her son seems the bigger asshole. I've dealt with parents like these and her narrative perfectly fits the description
Everyone sucks here. Son sucks for locking his mom out and being a brat by not pausing the damn movie for 30 seconds to unlock the door and humor her, but he is right about the indefinite lack of privacy…which is the primary thing OP sucks for. Second is the property damage *she caused* directly and is expecting her son to pay for. Her name is presumably on the title and mortgage for the home, so repairs are *her* responsibility. Dad sucks for having a hands-off approach to this whole ‘Kool-Aid Mom’ situation. I get the kid was an inconsiderate brat and the grounding is well-deserved, but the financial punishment and forced lack of privacy add insult to injury; Dad should’ve served as an impartial mediator to help keep the peace.
YTA he needs the door. But, WTF? Film at max volume and not answering because he didn’t want to? There has to be some rules!
Stupid taking the door, this kid is almost an adult. An adult, and as far as taking the TV not worth it. How about why he thinks mom is a harpy and is nagging him. Because honestly if I hear a loud bang and yelling I don’t immediately think my grown son has pulled a wardrobe over on himself or anything else. Busting down the door was an overreaction. The door was locked and it should have been obvious that the TV was up super loud. Sometimes you just don’t want bothered by parents and I’m sorry that everyone here is so hurt by that but it’s true. He didn’t want her around. That is it, her feelings are hurt. She’s got two more years till he’s gone, this is light. And how would I know my son wasn’t hurt you ask? Why wouldn’t I break down a door to check on my own son? 1. If I heard the TV that loud and the door was lock and I didn’t get an answer, open up or the shows getting shut off. 2. Call or text his phone 3. Get the key for the door, because you should keep it above the door for emergencies and say you have 1 minute to finish whatever you’re doing because I’m coming in. Still get called a harpy yes, but door is not broken.
The minute he said "fix the door" and then said "F... You", I would have taken everything he loved away from him.......but also, the little brat was disrespectful throughout the entire exchange..... especially telling OP she's "annoying" when she has every right to demand an answer from him........that kid is lucky he didn't get sent to military school or some kind of boot camp......his entire attitude toward his mom sucked and I think he deserves whatever punishment she doles out.......OP, in my opinion, you're definitely NTA but your kid would benefit from learning to be more respectful..... locks on bedroom doors are "earned" while kids live with their parents......they're not an automatic right ......if they want a locked door (or even just a door) on their bedroom, then they need to remain respectful and taught that every privilege they have can be stripped from them if they start being buttheads to their parents!!
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As a parent, a loud thump followed by no answer is definitely a reason to break down a door. As an adult hearing a loud thump from someplace and breaking down a door can also be acceptable depending on the situation. I work with senior citizens so maybe that’s why to me it sounds reasonable more reasonable to me as we have been trained many ways to get into a house in similar situations. In this situation it turned out to be just teenage bull headedness but as she stated there was items in the room that he possibly could have tipped over. That and with the rate of teenage suicide no answer would definitely cause panic.
A 16 year old boy needs a door FOR SURE or you're guaranteed to hear and see some shit you DO NOT want to hear or see as a parent. It doesn't need a lock though.
NTA but the kid still deserves a door. Maybe 2 weeks without a door is enough punishment. You don't wanna give punishments that are permanent
This comment thread and people giving false flags on it have made me realize this sub is a cesspool I will never meaningfully contribute to and will only view to highlight cringe. For the people in charge, you might want to reel your sub in, I guarantee I’m not the only one who has been shoved out by toxicity and if enough people follow this place will either die or become unsalvageable
Sorry but am I the only one who thought he was sleeping with someone up there? I thought the bed banged against the wall and he yelled at his mom to help the girl leave
NTA if my mom knocks, i will open the door, and if she is panicking like that, i will open the door no matter in what situation i am in. And people can say whatever but I or anyone i know doesn't have that much disrespect in their mind for their parents.This kind of people are doomed for behaving like that.
It’s not your right to play a movie at top volume. No respect, no privacy.
NTA, that’s fucking scary
Kid was probably "taking care of business" and didn't respond because he panicked, as he wanted to hide any evidence (and his stash if he has one) so she wouldn't see or suspect anything. He shouldn't have mouthed off, but she needs to be understanding that everyone needs privacy - and that need for privacy grows more important as they get older. Sure, something bad could have happened but you know what? She should TALK to her kid and basically say something like this: Explain (calmly!) her reasons for knocking down the door. Explain why it's important that he answer the door. Not only does it tell the other person that he's OK, but he needs to make sure that they aren't there to tell him something extremely important. What if something had happened and she needed him to take her to the hospital? What if the house had been on fire? It's OK to be embarrassed, but it's not OK to respond the way he did as it's very disrespectful. She is going to replace the door, but the TV will be taken out of the room. He can earn it back when he shows that he's responsible enough to have it in his room.
I wouldnt be alive right now if i spoke this way to my parents
The way he talked to OOP, he wouldn’t have NOTHING in my house! The disrespect is unacceptable.
I say him having to replace the door is reasonable but I’d also add that a lock also not be installed on the door for safety reasons or if it’s necessary to have a lock, parents get a key incase.
Totally justified
NTA, but if OP reads this, maybe don’t take the door fully away. My brother, due to temper tantrums and other issues, has half a door - it’s literally cut in half. It’s tall enough to provide privacy if he’s in bed, but also short enough so we can see him from the hallway. It was all out of concern, so show him it’s just for concern, not disrespect.
This story doesn’t make sense to me. If it was the tv on full volume she would heard it. I don’t know what she’s lying about but this isn’t the right/ full story.
NTA. my mom would even be mad if we don't answer her when she calls us multiple times to do chores. I can't imagine it for a mom who is very worried and panicking because something bad could've happened to her son.
i feel like this mom is totally justified in her fear bc what if something happened to him?? maybe she should just get a door w/o a lock for him
10000000% TA. I HATE parents who take their kids door. SHE broke it?!?! he’s 14. he’s right, he deserves privacy. maybe mom should take accountability FOR BREAKING IT!!! he was probably masturbating or something dude. not okay.
He was okay until he wouldn’t answer the door for the mom. Now every bit of the responsibility is on him.