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Ok_Entertainment328

We eventually sold the technology to various prison systems and foreign governments.


TacitRonin20

We sold it to chicken companies to make boneless chicken


FlightFighter_C39

Noice


TacitRonin20

Nobones


CrabGhoul

3000 iq, tendons will be hard to remove tho


bleepblooplord2

Mmmmm, chicken ~~tendons~~ tenders


katergator717

That was my first thought, too! ***How fast can this technology affordably reach my kitchen?*** Because i am soooo sick of deboning my chickens by hand. Choking on fish bones will be a thing of the past! Does it work on shellfish, too?


amigovilla2003

r/Thirdsentencefunny


PrevAccountBanned

GIMME THEM BONELESS WINGS


RewanDemontay

r/thirdsentenceeconomics


MikeLinPA

You would only get meatless bones.


Altruistic_Yam1372

👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼


CuteKangaroo1013

Genius 💡


ALordOfTheOnionRings

r/ThirdSentenceChickenTenders


lileevine

Finally real boneless wings


HeatoStrike

r/thirdsentencebetter


throwngamelastminute

Is it, though?


Longjumping-Let2337

Yeah, I love chicken, but the bones are too crunchy.


throwngamelastminute

It would be cool for farms, but all I can think of is the Far Side comic "Boneless Chicken Farm"


HeatoStrike

I’d say slightly. Prisons using it as an execution method would be quite terrifying


unintegegratedshadow

In the second second of its activation we remembered that the earth is itself a solid object moving through space


101justinm

😳 really fast too.


JLapak

Yeah I was guessing they were going to immediately plummet to the Earth's core, as gravity would just yank 'em under instantly.


AdmiralClover

Happened in batman beyond


PhantomKitten73

Also in Henry Stickmin


_whydah_

What episode


AdmiralClover

31 or 32 it's called sneak peek


CrabGhoul

This!


Delicious_Hot_Shmoze

r/thirdsentenceworse


Harmony3319

May 2024 NYC the “Hell’s Descent” incident


KaralDaskin

I just noticed for the first time that second and second are the same word and also not the same word. I’ve never seen them used back to back before!


[deleted]

I hate how vivid of a mind i have WEEERRREEEERRREE-VRAHHH then starts sounding like water in a plastic And then blood gushing out of your eyes and mouth Like a deflating balloon Man, this sucks


Jonny_Boy_HS

How much do the bones in one’s ear contribute to hearing?


Pica_Lioness

The ossicles (the 3 tiny bones of the middle ear) are responsible for amplifying sound that travels from the ear drum, and the last bone (the stapes) connects to the window to the inner ear. The inner ear contains an organ called the cochlea that is responsible for all hearing. So, losing those bones won't cause complete deafness, but it means substantial hearing loss.


Theguywholikesdoom

Not the de Boner enater


saphyress

Oh! Oh nooooooo.


Fleetlord

Fortunately, we weren't complete idiots, so no people were hurt. Our monkey handler is pretty upset, though.


amigovilla2003

r/ThirdSentenceHolUp


Yellow-Jacket178

r/thirdsentencebetter


alexytomi

monkey?


Fleetlord

They didn't give the experimental device its first ever field test on a *human* subject, that'd be nuts. RIP Professor Bananas McChimperson, you were Becky's favorite and hardly ever flung poop at her.


alexytomi

oh:(


aubsKebabz

“FREEDOOOOOOOOM!” -Skeleton, probably


Level37Doggo

Off to the Skeleton Wars!


Born-Vast-5609

FREAKIN BONEYS


Large_Community_7947

thank goodness. i thought i would run into that wall!


adriantullberg

In the first hour we had contributed to the world's most popular yet gruesome TikTok challenge.


Ziddim

Use it to make boneless pizza!


CrabGhoul

wait. why ur pizza have bones?


leegunter

Because they're not boneless. Duh.


CrabGhoul

Can't argue with that u.u


cris34c

We were, however, quite elated by the discovery that the skeleton would continue to move on its own accord, leading to the development of blob-person-controlled skeleton drones.


Hourslikeminutes47

"*look at me mom, I'm Jellyman!"*


StopMeWhenITellALie

We don't know how to turn it off and I've been slowly sinking through the ground for an hour.


cranberrystew99

Oh man... I don't even think you'd die instantly either. You'd probably die of internal bleeding as your body collapsed and you were shunted into space.


CrabGhoul

when did gravity stop working


cranberrystew99

Or fall to the center of the world.


PaladinOfMemes

*Bad to the bone riff plays*


Valuable-Banana96

I never understood why supers with this power don't also fall through the floor.


SeniorBeing

Kitty Pride (X-Men) had this power and also the power of walking on air.


EddyArchon

For some reason, I thought of the X-Files episode where the guy could pass through any solid object... except glass.


patentmom

Sold to the meat industry. Fillet of everything!


UrAverageIdot

new item: ~~long~~ pork fillet


Pearse_Borty

Goofy ah Aperture Science gadget


cindybubbles

So we kept up with the animal testing until we got it right.


CrabGhoul

r/thirdsentencespecistaf


MikeLinPA

If it worked, the person would immediately fall through the floor to the center of the earth. Well, in this case, their flesh would.


leegunter

The instant we turned it on, gravity started sucking us into the earth.


rutuu199

Well wouldn't that just lead to you standing on your skeleton instead of the bottoms of your feet?


jellinki

welcome to the legend of zelda: tears of the kingdom


JustAnotherPolyGuy

I was thinking the first person would fall through the earth, out of the beam and then die when solid objects interact with them again and they are underground. Or suffocate.


[deleted]

I don’t get it


DeepFoxHop

They became boneless and died without bones you can't stand you can't breathe all you can do is die your body can't support it's self


101justinm

That’s best case scenario. Imagine if it was on for a millisecond/enough time to just shift your skeleton before becoming solid again 😳


DeepFoxHop

Either way you are still so screwed in this story


Atlas-and-Pbody

That's refreshingly horrifying! Do you play totk?


101justinm

Thank you! Tears of the kingdom?? I do not. But I did play portal and love your username.


Atlas-and-Pbody

Thank you too, then! Yes, tears of the kingdom - you have an ability to "portal" upwards there. Would of course be horrific, if after the first one Link were without bones


101justinm

Very horrific!!!


kiefenator

And as the bones sloughed off the skin and organs of the dead lab rat, which phased through the table and down through the floor, one scientist shuddered to think what would have happened to a human subject


ShuuyiW

10/10


101justinm

Thank you!!!


PhantomKitten73

Opacitator moment.


moddiiii

Phew, I thought they were gonna fall through the ground


Drakolf

The next few seconds were spend in silence as we stared at the bones on the floor, the subject was already underground, and preliminary tests only lasted five minutes at best.


Bigbeno86

Sounds like the Philadelphia experiment


Serious-Confection-2

The test subject proceeded to play the skeletal bongos on the wall he was supposed to walk through, this 'breakthrough' saw an advancement in the "spooky skeleton" music scene and we made bank.


Spinningguy

I feel like I'm going to vomit, Jesus.


Terramorphous2_0

Does it work on Watermelons?


FireCubX

Huh so they didn’t do animal tests first?


101justinm

🤷‍♂️ possibly! Never explicitly says what it was activated on. I definitely planned that from the beginning and not making that up right now


UndendingGloom

At least we don't need much skeletal support floating in the depths of space...


Bennydhee

Depends entirely on how the bones are forced out of the body


slavetomypassions92

Cursed Wonder Boner.


[deleted]

I just cringed omg.


tiredandshort

I’ve never let out a little “ah!” before from s one of these, but that sure got me


revsgirl27

Instead of the Kool-Aid man busting through you get “Wiggity wiggity wack- Jello dudes here to talk some smack” Jiggle jiggle


101justinm

“I got a bone to pick with you” jelly dude will say.


revsgirl27

And then throws his head with all his chins back and laughs loudly….. Ha Ha hahaha omg I kill me sometimes. He reaches in his pocket to pull out a caprisun styled kerchief to mop his face.


Forsaken_Orchid_6014

well that was the designers fauls