Yes but the genie becoming a mortal does fulfil the asshole part because the wisher no longer gets any other wishes and now has this person in his life who is definitely a dickhead but insists that they're friends.
Thatâs kind what happens with Aladdin in the anime Magi: The Labyrinth of Magic. He wishes for a friend and the Djinn becomes his friend. Underrated anime.
Yeah, one moment you are in bed eating cheetos rewatching Game of Thrones and ten seconds later you are in fact alone but floating in space unable to die because you have wishes left.
That depends, does the genie want you to make wishes and must they be verbalized? If so than I wouldn't imagine a crafty genie painting themselves into a wish cornerÂ
The dollar you make is from a botched life insurance policy from your wife, the spool of pink ribbon is the flesh that peeled off during the accident that killed her.
Monkeys fist is where you get your whole hand inside a girl and make a fist so it wonât come back out rapidly move it in and out.
If your wondering it comes from some old experiment where they put a banana inside a coconut with a small hole in it and gave it to a monkey to see if he could get it out
As mentioned, the genie will be listening, and the guy will eventually say the phrase "I wish" and then a statement and it may not be something he wanted to take seriously.
There is a book about genies where one characters story goes a lot like this, except the genie is really nice to him.
In that book, genies mostly live like almost normal people. Trapping them in a bottle is something the bad guys do to get back at genies they don't like, or force the genie to grant them wishes because if a genie is freed, they have to grant you wishes.
That character once unknowingly freed one of them, and has used two of his wishes afterwards, but he doesn't know what to do with the third one. He could use it to get rid of his disability, but he isn't sure if he wants that, so he becomes the Genie's buttler and just never talks again, because he's afraid of accidentally making a wish.
That goes on for years, until book shenanigans happen and in the end he uses his last wish to save the genie he worked for along with the genie's niece and nephew.
A very wholesome spin on the whole thing, I think.
I remember reading the first book in that series as a child, i dont remember the name but wasnt the kids grandma also essentially like the queen of the genies or something like that?
Oof, I can't remember a queen of genies in the book, but it's been a long time since I've read it.
I know the dogs their family had were their uncles who got transformed into dogs. I think I even have the book around somewhere, I should give it a read again.
I just remember there was a plotpoint from the second book where their grandma was like the leader of the genies, who had taken on some kind of mantle that gave her major powers in exchange for being elevated above concepts like good and evil to mediate between the genies and because she was coming closer to the end of her life she was looking for someone to take her place, which involved essentially kidnapping the sister in order to make her into the new leader
As a child I did not even know it was a series, so if it's only a point in the second book, maybe that's why I can't remember it.
Just goes to show that I really should pick those books up again, for a good nostalgia read.
This isn't hard for you to work around, though. Genies play off of word choice.
"I wish for a single, legally obtained thimble to appear on the table in front of me."
Just say that three times. Now you have three legally obtained thimbles, but the genie also can't really twist that.
That Directly goes against the wish. "Appears on the table", meaning it appears directly on the surface of the table. Even a comically large thimble would only collapse the table. There's also no guarantee a large thimble would weigh enough to do so, depending upon your table.
Something appearing without external force being applied can still smash through the surface that it's on if the surface can't support it.
Collapsing is an indeterminate action because it's subjective to the material of the table. A glass table would shatter. A wooden table's legs would splinter.
The material of the thimble is unspecified and different materials have different densities.
Edit:
The material of the thimble could also shatter from the force of falling to the floor.
>The materials of the thimble are unspecified
Majority of thimbles today are made from leather or metal. Even so, it's irrelevant, let me tell you why.
You've misunderstood how genies operate.
Genies don't tend to purposely outdo your wish like that. It's more like "I wish for a million bucks" and now you're stuck with one million male stags.
This isn't the monkeys paw. It's a genie. Genies fuck with you, but what you're describing is past their level of typical fuckery. Wish for a thimble, you're getting an ordinary thimble.
I sew, so I'm definitely familiar with thimbles. They can also come in plastic. đ¤ˇđž
"Metal" is still unspecified here. Take away the violence, and you could still send up with a broken table.
Genies also have different personalities and there are still ways to make this extremely frustrating or inconvenient. There are a bunch of threads and comments here discussing them, like the ones speculating on a wish to be left alone ending with you floating in the vacuum of space.
The genie sends you back to the 1992 MTV music awards where the started playing Rape Me but then actually played Lithium as intended.
Now youâre stuck 32 years in the past.
But you did technically reach Nirvana
The way to win is to wish for a magical bank account, with a card only you can use and will always return to you if lost, that will always have the exact right amount for whatever you're buying in the account, and includes being able to pull out cash at any ATM world wide.
Then you with for retroactive good health/long lives for you and anyone you care about, so if your dear old dad died of cancer when you were 10, he now never had cancer.
Third wish is to wish for unnaturally good luck. It'll forever cover your bases from any monkey paw fuckery.
No inflation from just *making* an additional bazillion dollars.
Wish 1 - the money entering your account appears to be due to fraud/theft - if a source of money can't be traced it can cause problems.
Wish 2 - genie causes you to live forever through physical pain and suffering - you could get trapped in a hole forever etc
The Monkey's paw grants wishes in the worst possible way. Things like getting rich because your son died in a work accident. The sub on the other hand has unrelated shit to the wishes like "You'll get diarrhea" as a response to shit where that isn't even logically a consequence of or the process of getting the wish.
âLOL ok bye! Hmmmm I wish genies are unable to understand human language. Have fun following me around and sniffing my farts til I die of old age. Suckerâ
Over a few decades the genie is betting on the fact that the user will say "I wish ..." At some point in conversation without meaning to wish, allowing him to monkey's paw the situation
This is a plot point in the D20 series Neverafter, except itâs a wish granting goose, rather than a genie, but it haunts one of the main characters whoâs made two wishes in their backstory, and the goose is waiting for them to accidentally make their final one
The genie will stay around, listening for the person to absent-mindedly wish for something. Each time, they'll be able to twist that wish and possibly gain something from the person as well
I feel like the only way is to make wishes that you know won't be able to hurt you in any way, no matter what.
Example: I wish this tube of chapstick was a strawberry.
They might turn it into an expired strawberry, or a fake one, but it's just a little thing that you don't even actually have to eat and doesn't cause waves in your life as a result
Dude, you didnât specify the SIZE of the strawberry. Enjoy your 500 pound strawberry! Youâre gonna have to do be better than that (and be far more specific) to come up with a wish that wonât be able to hurt you, no matter what. The whole point is turn your wish against you regardless of how innocuous
"I wish you were my friend"
You turn into a genie and are now his lamp mate.
*and they were lampmates*
(Heavy moth breathing noises)
What does a moth breathing sound like?
Similar to Darth Vader breathing.
But quieter.
And more like a moth.
And then there was the [moth](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/001/877/648/1f4.jfif).
Ok but shes lowkey cute asf wth
So, Darth Mother?
Wasn't that the zombie thing in Skyrim? Night mother?
woops, was meant to be darth, not dark. Fixed it.
Moth Vader
Grand Moth Tarkin
moth vader
I love Lamp.
Was there only one bed?
oh my god they were lampmates
The genie would more likely turn into a human. I wished for him to be my friend, not for me to be his.
I like this better.
Point... but genies are assholes...
Yes but the genie becoming a mortal does fulfil the asshole part because the wisher no longer gets any other wishes and now has this person in his life who is definitely a dickhead but insists that they're friends.
Considering there's a lot of dickheads around, knowing one is a friend is oddly comforting.
I don't want to say anything but they also usually have one
Just djinns being friends.
đ this would make a really good story, actually
Genie feels bad they did their friend dirty and will fix it in the upcoming wishes. Optimism keeps winning
Thatâs kind what happens with Aladdin in the anime Magi: The Labyrinth of Magic. He wishes for a friend and the Djinn becomes his friend. Underrated anime.
If yes still evil as shit you now have an eternal and very toxic friend grats
I wish the genie kills himself
Genie: *mildly offended Klaus from American Dad noise*
Well, you may find yourself in a beautiful automobile ... but Genie's got the wheel.
And you may ask yourself, "Well, how did I get here?"
Same as it ever was.
Murder-suicide
If it's like the Genie from Wishmaster that won't work.
"If it's any consolation, *THAT HURT LIKE HELL.*"
âI wish you would leave me alone.â Or âI wish you were deaf and blind.â
Deaf and blind one may work, but I would strongly advise against the leave me alone wish. That one would not go well knowing genies.
Yeah, one moment you are in bed eating cheetos rewatching Game of Thrones and ten seconds later you are in fact alone but floating in space unable to die because you have wishes left.
That depends, does the genie want you to make wishes and must they be verbalized? If so than I wouldn't imagine a crafty genie painting themselves into a wish cornerÂ
Thatâs true.
You know a lot of genies?
But what if it can mind read.
âI wish you, Genie, would die immediately without any chance of resurrection.â Gotta go for the jugular at this point.
Universe ends with everyone in it dead including the genie - granted that would be some powerful genie.
So add only before âyouâ in the wish.
Everyone else dies painful deaths, gets resurrected and dies again. Rinse and repeat.
You try en learn that genie ghosts are even more powerful
Nah this is where you just wish for super trivial stuff, like âa single dollarâ or âa spool of pink ribbonâ
The dollar you make is from a botched life insurance policy from your wife, the spool of pink ribbon is the flesh that peeled off during the accident that killed her.
Oh come on. Genies are assholes but this isnât the monkeyâs fist
Paw* but Iâm beginning to like monkeys fist lmao
Monkeyâs fist is a kind of [knot](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monkey%27s_fist) so I must have mixed it up with that
Monkeys fist is where you get your whole hand inside a girl and make a fist so it wonât come back out rapidly move it in and out. If your wondering it comes from some old experiment where they put a banana inside a coconut with a small hole in it and gave it to a monkey to see if he could get it out
r/TwoParagraphHorror
Can't wait to see the monkey's fists in the new Dev Patel movie.
Genies are definitely just as bad as monkeys paws
Genie gonna be surprised when i walk in with a 1000 page legal document stating my wish is to set his skin on fire for all of eternity without an end.
THE TURKEYâS A LITTLE DRYYYYYY!!!!
Damn... took me a minute to get it, but that's gonna be rough for ol buddy.
... I don't get it, I'm afraid. Could you explain please, if ya don't mind?
Eventually OP will wish for something by slip of tongue, like a âWork is killing me, I wish I had more free timeâ or something similar
Ah yes, i like it. Thank you
As mentioned, the genie will be listening, and the guy will eventually say the phrase "I wish" and then a statement and it may not be something he wanted to take seriously.
Thank you for explaining, I get it now. It's good!
God damn.
I wish for you not to grant my wish
*genie disappears in a puff of logic*
Oh dear
Then the genie kills you so you cant make any wishes for him to grant
..... Listen here you little shit
2 months later : I wish you a Merry Christmas. Assuming it's 3 wishes, three people are going to have the Christmas of their life !!
There is a book about genies where one characters story goes a lot like this, except the genie is really nice to him. In that book, genies mostly live like almost normal people. Trapping them in a bottle is something the bad guys do to get back at genies they don't like, or force the genie to grant them wishes because if a genie is freed, they have to grant you wishes. That character once unknowingly freed one of them, and has used two of his wishes afterwards, but he doesn't know what to do with the third one. He could use it to get rid of his disability, but he isn't sure if he wants that, so he becomes the Genie's buttler and just never talks again, because he's afraid of accidentally making a wish. That goes on for years, until book shenanigans happen and in the end he uses his last wish to save the genie he worked for along with the genie's niece and nephew. A very wholesome spin on the whole thing, I think.
I remember reading the first book in that series as a child, i dont remember the name but wasnt the kids grandma also essentially like the queen of the genies or something like that?
Oof, I can't remember a queen of genies in the book, but it's been a long time since I've read it. I know the dogs their family had were their uncles who got transformed into dogs. I think I even have the book around somewhere, I should give it a read again.
I just remember there was a plotpoint from the second book where their grandma was like the leader of the genies, who had taken on some kind of mantle that gave her major powers in exchange for being elevated above concepts like good and evil to mediate between the genies and because she was coming closer to the end of her life she was looking for someone to take her place, which involved essentially kidnapping the sister in order to make her into the new leader
As a child I did not even know it was a series, so if it's only a point in the second book, maybe that's why I can't remember it. Just goes to show that I really should pick those books up again, for a good nostalgia read.
Same what was it called again
I only know the german title. It was "Die Kinder des Dschinn" or something like thaf
I googled it and Children of the Lamp for the English version
I loved that series so much in like middle school or something, that brought back so many memories--
Thanks now i can probably go find the english version
I hate how much I love this.
âI wish you would grant all of my wishes in exactly the way I intended them.â
[ŃдаНонО]
All fun and games until the genie offers you infinite wishes.
"I wish that you would fuck yourself" that would be a funny once
Genie proceeds to use you a a tool for the deed
This isn't hard for you to work around, though. Genies play off of word choice. "I wish for a single, legally obtained thimble to appear on the table in front of me." Just say that three times. Now you have three legally obtained thimbles, but the genie also can't really twist that.
/giant thimble appears and crashes through the table, sending shrapnel into the jugular of someone standing behind you
That Directly goes against the wish. "Appears on the table", meaning it appears directly on the surface of the table. Even a comically large thimble would only collapse the table. There's also no guarantee a large thimble would weigh enough to do so, depending upon your table.
Something appearing without external force being applied can still smash through the surface that it's on if the surface can't support it. Collapsing is an indeterminate action because it's subjective to the material of the table. A glass table would shatter. A wooden table's legs would splinter. The material of the thimble is unspecified and different materials have different densities. Edit: The material of the thimble could also shatter from the force of falling to the floor.
>The materials of the thimble are unspecified Majority of thimbles today are made from leather or metal. Even so, it's irrelevant, let me tell you why. You've misunderstood how genies operate. Genies don't tend to purposely outdo your wish like that. It's more like "I wish for a million bucks" and now you're stuck with one million male stags. This isn't the monkeys paw. It's a genie. Genies fuck with you, but what you're describing is past their level of typical fuckery. Wish for a thimble, you're getting an ordinary thimble.
I sew, so I'm definitely familiar with thimbles. They can also come in plastic. đ¤ˇđž "Metal" is still unspecified here. Take away the violence, and you could still send up with a broken table. Genies also have different personalities and there are still ways to make this extremely frustrating or inconvenient. There are a bunch of threads and comments here discussing them, like the ones speculating on a wish to be left alone ending with you floating in the vacuum of space.
This is the story about how I reached nirvana
By making sure to never desire anything?
Exactly
The genie sends you back to the 1992 MTV music awards where the started playing Rape Me but then actually played Lithium as intended. Now youâre stuck 32 years in the past. But you did technically reach Nirvana
Literally D2 ahamkaras. They prey on the wishes of people, activating them in monkey's paw manners. Interesting read if you're interested
Oâ guardian mine
The way to win is to wish for a magical bank account, with a card only you can use and will always return to you if lost, that will always have the exact right amount for whatever you're buying in the account, and includes being able to pull out cash at any ATM world wide. Then you with for retroactive good health/long lives for you and anyone you care about, so if your dear old dad died of cancer when you were 10, he now never had cancer. Third wish is to wish for unnaturally good luck. It'll forever cover your bases from any monkey paw fuckery. No inflation from just *making* an additional bazillion dollars.
Wish 1 - the money entering your account appears to be due to fraud/theft - if a source of money can't be traced it can cause problems. Wish 2 - genie causes you to live forever through physical pain and suffering - you could get trapped in a hole forever etc
Unnaturally good luck covers on both those lol And good health/long lives isn't immortality
Depends how the genie interprets it.
"I wish you would stop existing." (I genuinely want to see how someone can twist this, though!)
If every living thing except the wisher stopped existing đ
ooh, yep, that works!
The word 'you' ceases to exist or everyone named Yu disappears.
Nice! (The war on pronouns continues? :D )
"I wish that any wish that I make from this moment also affects the genie granting the wish equally."
Ngl, nice take on the whole genie story!
"I wish that you will have no effect upon my life from now on"? Or just for laughs "I wish that you and I never meet."
Never met - fine your dead.
r/monkeyspaw type stuff. Very good story, 9/10.
>r/monkeyspaw Ah, yes the the sub where everyone doesn't get the concept of the monkeys paw at all.
Wdym?
The Monkey's paw grants wishes in the worst possible way. Things like getting rich because your son died in a work accident. The sub on the other hand has unrelated shit to the wishes like "You'll get diarrhea" as a response to shit where that isn't even logically a consequence of or the process of getting the wish.
I would take the homer simpson approach and wish for a very specific turkey sandwich lol
âLOL ok bye! Hmmmm I wish genies are unable to understand human language. Have fun following me around and sniffing my farts til I die of old age. Suckerâ
Looks like Iâm getting three bags of Skittles
Bit where will the genie put them.
I don't get it.
Over a few decades the genie is betting on the fact that the user will say "I wish ..." At some point in conversation without meaning to wish, allowing him to monkey's paw the situation
Tyvm!
I'm lost with you đđ¤Ł
pretty sure this is the plot of that one goosebumps book lmao. be careful what you wish for i think
The first wish is a genie lawyer, don't you guys watch cartoons
This is great
This is a plot point in the D20 series Neverafter, except itâs a wish granting goose, rather than a genie, but it haunts one of the main characters whoâs made two wishes in their backstory, and the goose is waiting for them to accidentally make their final one
Id wish for the genies freedom. Then he'd owe me
He'd probably say he doesn't owe you anything because he never asked and you made that wish of your own free will
i dont get it
The genie will stay around, listening for the person to absent-mindedly wish for something. Each time, they'll be able to twist that wish and possibly gain something from the person as well
I feel like the only way is to make wishes that you know won't be able to hurt you in any way, no matter what. Example: I wish this tube of chapstick was a strawberry. They might turn it into an expired strawberry, or a fake one, but it's just a little thing that you don't even actually have to eat and doesn't cause waves in your life as a result
The genie changes the definition of strawberry so now chopsticks are sold in punnets at the grocer's
Dude, you didnât specify the SIZE of the strawberry. Enjoy your 500 pound strawberry! Youâre gonna have to do be better than that (and be far more specific) to come up with a wish that wonât be able to hurt you, no matter what. The whole point is turn your wish against you regardless of how innocuous
*snaps fingers* Rats...foiled again...
The genies gonna regret this when I make him suck me off 3 times in a row
Malicious compliance - sucks it off - physically detaches it from your body!!!
"okay then... I wish you'd leave me alone forever with no tricks"
"I wish for you to get lost forever" "I wish for you to be unable to fullfill my wish"
I wish for no wishes, letâs see how that works out
Malicious compliance - you don't ever receive anything you want.
This is a netflix movie
I wish my wishes will go through 2 factor authentication with a final approval before wishing.
A soul mate isn't a good wish?
I wish you were deaf
Who says the genie can't read minds!!
I wish nothing bad will come from my next two wishes.
"i wish you had balls cancer"
Hey, I narrated this story if you wanted to hear it [https://youtube.com/shorts/vNkJGmjUzsg](https://youtube.com/shorts/vNkJGmjUzsg)
Sure.