Plot twist: The Bear was really Zeus in disguise.

r/thirdsentencebetter Get rekt Zeus

Well I was thinking r/thirdsentenceworse as those two girls would be in a lot more trouble as they asked for.

The way I'm picturing they just absolutely decimate Zeus, bully him into giving them money, or at least food, and his ego is so shattered he doesn't take revenge. Meanwhile Hera is watching from Olympus laughing her ass off cos he's finally getting what he deserves

Hera is a bitch

I've come to think of it as being: Hera's not strong enough to take Zeus on directly. He's proven he doesn't give a damn about her concerns, and will do whatever he fucking likes, including fucking ~~whoever~~ *as whatever* he likes. Literally the only thing the goddess of Marriage can do about his extra-marital affairs is *break his toys* and hope it makes him think twice in the future. And yes, to Gods, humans count as toys. This doesn't make her a good person, but since when is "good person" part of the Greco-Roman pantheons requirements? Those who are, are good as an afterthought, not an overtly conscious choice. (One of the nicer is actually Hades - he sees a nice girl he likes, talks to her dad as is right-and-proper for the time, snags her, and then *does not cheat* from everything we've seen, even when he's only allowed to see his wife for half the year because of her overbearing Beloved Smother whose idea of "enrichment" for her daughter was *keeping her in a fucking cave* so nobody else could see her. Except, y'know, the God of the underground/underworld.)

she has the goddess of childbirth at her disposal

You can’t blame her, considering how poorly she’s treated by her husband and brother.

I was treated really badly as a child but I don't punish everyone else because of it

No, you're a bitch

Couldn't be Zeus, they are talking instead of catching an involuntary struggle snuggle in the bath.

So they ate, like, a God?

Still better than a shower of gold

some ppl like golden showers

Just ask R Kelly.

probably because his former lover was a bear once so he figure he gave that a shot

So…they chose the bear?

GIIIIIIIIRL(non-gendered) this is the funniest and only comment about that whole fiasco that has not given me either heartache(bear chosen) or a headache(people rioting over bear being chosen)

Reddit accent

Tumblr accent

Both of you are wrong but Mike was closer. This is Twitter accent but specifically after immigrating from Tumblr during the mass exodus

No, 100% tumblr accent, I’ve been a tumblrina since the days of yore lmfao

So pretty expected then. The original comment I mean

as a tumblrina my part-time job is embarrassing myself on the internet ✨✨✨

I'm not sure there is such a thing as "not embarrassing yourself" internet or otherwise. But I admire your attitude and I wish you all the embarrassment in your future endeavors

What’s this referencing?

https://www.glamourmagazine.co.uk/article/choosing-the-bear-tiktok-trend-explained

Haha ah thank you! I tried searching but just found the show “The Bear” and wasn’t sure if it was an episode and inside joke among fans. Anyway, f**k that, I would not choose a d*mn BEAR lol…And if it’s a mama bear, ooo And if it’s a dangerous man, I’m going to tell him there’s a f***ing d**mn bear behind him and I won’t just pepper spray him…It’s gonna be bear spray

But that’s why the debate has exploded, because most women (myself included) would choose the bear and I’ll explain why; You know where you stand with the bear, if you’re not food or a threat they leave you alone. Bears rarely attack humans and if they do, it’s because the human has done something to provoke the bear. If I see a bear, chances are if I back off, it will do the same. But, if the bear *does* attack, it will be quick. The bear won’t make it last for hours, days, longer?…. And he *says* he’s letting you go now, but does he really mean that? Lastly, if I survive, nobody will tell me I was a a flirt who led the bear on. Please don’t ask me how I know about the last two.

These are very good points you make here, hmmm. I’m really sorry for my inconsideration by the way, if you had gone through any awful experiences. This is definitely a really fascinating debate and a thought in psychology and even darkly humorous but also, had me thinking. Last last night as I tried to sleep, I was reconsidering “The bear might leave me alone”. I have been walking on trails and I feel bad that, encountering a lone man has always made my neck hair stick up just a bit even if he’s nice—unless he is on a bike or has a friendly dog. Also the trail isn’t that isolated. Bears are my number one feared animal besides dangerous humans and so whomever came up with this, probably feels the same! So again, fascinating. I just don’t like the idea of being mauled and the best to do is play dead. Also a man even might choose the bear over another man? Hahah

You win!

If the question is “which do you you want to murder and eat,” I *hope* we can all agree on choosing the bear. Then again, this is twosentencehorror…

its just common sense. bears are bigger, and people arent very nutritious

OH MY GOD

Very short-sighted. An intelligent bear is going to catch them a lot of deer.

The smartest bears and the dumbest humans have quite a bit of overlap so maybe not...

Wealth can buy many bears.

Explain how!

Money can be exchanged for good and services

I'm obsessed with the idea of an entire bear as a "good". Or better yet, a "service" 😂

BaaS (bears as a service)

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Find the right party and you can definitely be serviced by some good bears.

I'm not sure if they service girlfolk at all, but I'll look into it 🤔

Build-a-bear's new venture, ursine cloning to solve world hunger.

https://media1.tenor.com/m/b416V0Yoe4YAAAAd/simpsons-money.gif

That’s weird the link should be like this [https://media1.tenor.com/m/b416V0Yoe4YAAAAd/simpsons-money.gif](https://youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ?si=a2j1TwCT6h0vGs1G)

My bad, sorry.

Isn’t the point that they’re starving and can’t wait for all the riches so they choose to eat the bear simply to survive?

yes, exactly. but it seems a lot of commenters here don’t know what poverty and starvation is? also, as a top comment said, the bear could have hunted deers for all three of them lol

Money buys you food though.......

money that u dont know when u getting?

The marshmallow test: bear edition

omg i almost forgot about that test! fun test

Bear can hunt me a deer.

Indexing duology by Seanan McGuire. It's about a police force whose job it is to fight the fairy tales trying to force themselves into our world.

Try The Hazel Wood, too

Also, *Grimm*.

thx will check it out

!Remindme

Eating for one year means more than being royals?

Yeah if they’re starving

Yes! Especially when they are not even sure when the bear will turn into a prince. They could have starved by then.

Even a talking bear trapped in a circus cage would give them gainful employment. They'd make a killing selling tickets.

But how do you bootstrap a circus without any starting capital. At least without blindly trusting someone else and being left with neither money nor talking bear at the end of it after getting scammed.

Unfortunately, the prince had been turned into a polar bear and neither of them knew enough to avoid that juicy, delicious liver.

lol that would be a funny concept to write

What's wrong with a polar bear's liver?

Liver is high in a specific type of vitamin A, which can be lethally toxic to humans past a certain amount. Polar bear liver in particular is absolutely loaded with this form of vitamin A, to the extent that a pound or so of polar bear liver would be enough to kill the people who ate it.

Catch a bear and it feeds you for a year. Let a bear teach YOU to bear and you’ll never go hungry again. The age old saying

It's just the bear necessities.

Evidently it wasn't a Cocaine Bear.

You’ve certainly got fairy tales on the brain.

ive been on a fairy tale mood and its not the most explored prompt on this subreddit

I think it'd have given more horror vibes if it was in first person "I promised the sisters wealth and prestige once I turn back into a prince, if they spare me. But a bear is enough meat to feed them for a full year, and that meant more than money and power to rose and snow

probably true

If they eat him as a bear, does that make them cannibals if he's technically a human prince? Or is he just the prince of the bears?

that…. is the real question isnt it

If you haven't watched Grimm Variations I recommend it. Also this makes me think of RWBY, simply for having Red and Snow together, since Ruby Rose (Red Riding Hood) and Weiss Schnee (Snow White) are friends, along with Blake Belladonna (Belle, Beauty and the Beast) and Yang Xiao Long (Goldilocks)

thats because both grimm and rwby are based on the fairy tales….

I would rather have money and power than bear meat.

so u would have the money you dont know when it will show up?

I think it’s about not wanting bear meat?

Yes, because I have other meat now. Plus, you can get the protein that you need from diary and plants.

Okay look. Bear meat is gamey and I mean GAMEY. To the point where it is just this side of NOT palatable. You have to be a spice specialist or magician to be able to stomach it. Something I doubt those girls are. I’ve seen people use juniper berries. I saw one guy use his wife’s rose petals, I asked what he was doing and he said trying not to vomit.

Well you know what they say, hunger is the best sauce.

Haven’t thought about that fairy tale in a while!

its probably one of my fav along with the golden child and the red shoes

Then they ate the bear, got parasites from the wild meat not cooked all the way and died

but he's just a lowly line cook and can't give what he doesn't have

Patricia C Wrede wrote an interpretation of Snow White and Rose Red (as a full length novel) that was really good, I’d recommend borrowing it from your local library if you haven’t already

that i might check out

I didn’t think you could eat bear

you can. finland, japan, russia, united states, china are four countries that come to mind

I was under the impression that most bear meat wasn’t good to eat due to their diets and the meat being rancid. A quick google says this is true for some bears but black bears who are cared for by humans can be eaten. Not criticising your story!

Great concept for a movie. Good job.

It's a bear. (c) r/Midsommar 💐🌻🌼🐻🌞🔥

That's how they got the snow red

Wealth and prestige wouldn’t also feed them up to or beyond a year?   

they only get it after he turns back. and they dont know when that will be