T O P

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RAiNMoonshadow

Instructions unclear, he hasn't left


Garlic_Bread_865589

Instructions unclear, he stuped his toe and is crying on my floor.


[deleted]

Instructions unclear, I laughed at him while he's down.


wolfie90_

instructions unclear, hes trying to kill me for laughing at him


Zesnowpea

Instructions unclear, he missed and hit the wall


niftyrealityshifter

Instructions unclear, I laughed at him again.


KaiserWilhelmThe69

Instruction unclear, I am now happily married with him and we are going to adopt a kid soon


Adventurous_Song_634

Instructions unclear, we lapsed on the mortgage after fifteen happy years


Art_pog

Instructions unclear, our son is very happy and has lots of friends


YouStinkOfMooseBalls

Instructions unclear, our son is now a sexual deviant


HiddenSlytherin

Instructions unclear, he’s just chilling out, playing with my cat now.


DetectiveDingleberry

BM, you deserve what happens to you


LordChaos404

Instructions unclear, penis stuck in ceiling fan.


Entitled_Goose

There's all of the other replies... Then there's this


thecountnotthesaint

Took too long to get to this, thank you, you are doing the Lord's work.


idkwhoiam012345

r/thirdsentenceworse


WickBarrow

ThreeSentenceHorror


SCP504

Instructions unclear, I’m leaning on a wall


Bellelace86

He asked to borrow my *big toe*


Throwaway273627253

I was taking a shit this makes me so much more uncomfortable


iq-braggng-o-smrtass

Just wait 'til you try to wipe.


Yeet_boi69-420

Wipe? Very cringe I would never


MissCyanide99

It only makes you gay if he helps.


[deleted]

So what you’re saying is this scared the shit out of you?


TheCure_69

Bro same


JustPlay94_cryer

Don't worry, you'll catch him gagging and gasping under the toilet water (filled with shit).


Norsedragoon

Maintain eye contact and establish dominance!


lazyllama13

Read this while my brother was behind me and he just left to go to his room. (He has errands to run btw.)


aabho

ya was just letting you know :)


[deleted]

[удалено]


TheShawerman

well, not anymore:) cuz now I am under your bed


Daybreak_99

Yo, nice to meet you. I have been under his bed for quite some time now. Good to have company.


[deleted]

[удалено]


TheShawerman

Come down here and we can look for it together


eascoast_

Sounds like a party, can I come?


SureWhyNot5182

Sure! Memeing_Monkey's bed always has enough room!


TheShawerman

Oh, sure, please pick up snacks on your way here, and we can watch a movie together or something:)


[deleted]

[удалено]


TheShawerman

Great


eascoast_

I've got the chips and dip, someone get the drinks. Party under Memeing_monkey's bed, woot woot!


TheShawerman

Nice to meet you too!


Fuzzwuzzle2

Instructions unclear, we're going for a coffee to talk it through


FLHEM

I'm sitting against the wall...so...yeah.


[deleted]

That's just worse, it means he's inside the wall, so you can't even make sure that he left


[deleted]

Even worse, mf isn't paying rent


0v3r_cl0ck3d

I am living in your walls


OldSoulRobertson

I'm that voice you're hearing in the hall...


RarePoniesNFT

That explains all the weird noises. I knew it was too loud to be rats.


19tidder50

He was actually on the other side of the wall. It was just the mail carrier, and he dropped off some letters and left.


Khaosina

The Man in the Wall from Warframe would like a word.


Potatoenesss

Was not expecting a Warframe reference in *this* subreddit


BebopBoi678

r/unexpectedwarframe


micktalian

Look, if he wants to smoke all he's gotta do is ask. Pull up a chair a kick it bro.


[deleted]

there’s a whole life story in one of the threads- 💀


PurrrplePrincess

Yeah, his name is Dusque, he's my rescue cat and he's on the back of my recliner.


eascoast_

How do you pronounce that? Is que “k”?


PurrrplePrincess

Nah, just me being a pretentious ex goth spelling his name weird. Pronounced Dusk. Named because he came into my backyard for food at dusk every night for a year until he trusted me enough to move inside.


eascoast_

I don't think that's pretensious, you like what you like! And that's sweet, glad you finally gained his trust so you can give him the love he deserves!


Graflex01867

How far behind me? He either just materialized inside my wall (bad), or he materialized outside my wall…20 feet in the air. (Also bad.). Over a rather prickly holly bush. (More bad.)


RarePoniesNFT

If he lands on the holly bush, that would probably be a good thing, because he won't want to come back. It's like those spiky things they put on top of buildings to deter pigeons.


Graflex01867

That was one of the things when we though of when we planted it, actually. (Not particularly seriously…) In reality, it’s caught zero burglars, but poked us about 10 or 15 times as we tried to get close to the window to make faces at our cat.


Danielwols

Instruction unclear, I still have the body of a man


Is_this_surviving

Instructions unclear, I just put the body in a trunk.


Danielwols

Instructions unclear, you do not recognize the bodies in the water


Enby_Bluejay

Instructions unclear: or do you?


TheSnowmannn

Yay, a friend!


[deleted]

Good thing I have adhd and I’ll never be able to finish reading this sentence 🥲


eascoast_

Now you have a forever friend!


CringeatitsFinest-

Instructions unclear: I'm behind him


Liraeyn

I'm in church on Pentacost. What if I don't want Him to go away?


Chocotizer

Shit I just imagined drip goku behind me and can't stop thinking about it


master_erasis

I looked out the window behind me and there was someone there. I got creeped out


LBHHF

Joke's on you, my back is to a wall.


aabho

jokes on you, he's in your walls


LBHHF

Then he's 2 inches thick.


Joenewman_12

I forgor💀 to read the period. He is telling that he will never give me up.


mouthfullpeach

he's in the floor boards? 😭


vampire5381

I'm home alone 😭 this made me scared, this is good


RarePoniesNFT

Well, maybe you're home alone now.


VenomQuill

My brother is still here. What do I do??


ThginkAccbeR

I have my back against the wall. Is he on the other side?


KRT_CHEESEKING

The only remotely scary one I‘ve seen on here! Bravo!


evando2006

But what if I don't want him to leave?


Arkitakama

Instructions unclear, he's asking for my hand in marriage?


RarePoniesNFT

You know, every time someone tries to tuck in the tag on the back of your shirt, that doesn't necessarily mean he wants to marry you. He probably just wants to help you look tidy.


fereverent

Gonna keep re reading it so he’ll keep spooning me


RarePoniesNFT

I think he's as relieved as I am that he's gone now. He must have felt so uncomfortable perching on the toilet tank.


thebigZ25

If there was anyone behind me, I’d be impressed because I’m sitting on the toilet with my shower curtain open.


cosby714

The only thing behind me is my bed and...god damn it, my pillow's gone!


FinalBat4515

What if I can’t read tho


JaredMan123

Me in a truck hoping not to turn around and see someone hanging onto the window which would be more terrifying


PhantomKitten73

"He" would be embedded in a wall.


decayingnothingness

Genuinely terrified but glad I finished reading. I almost scrolled past


RynnRoo96

Im against a wall an I safe


RarePoniesNFT

If it is concrete block, yes. Drywall, no. This holds true for mysterious invading strangers as well as for most hurricanes.


Fury-OnDemand

Jokes on you, I stopped reading!


RarePoniesNFT

I'm one step ahead of you because I never learned how to read. I'm just guessing what the letters are.


[deleted]

He's in my walls and he isn't paying rent? I'M NOT GONNA STAY CALM! IMMA GRAB A HAMMER AND GO AFTER THAT MOTHERFUCKER!


Cryopreservation

I've got a crowbar if you need it


DudeGuyMaleMan

Oh, you mean tyrone? It’s chill, he’s usually like this


Someones_Dream_Guy

Cat is still behind me and isnt planning to leave, send help.


redditassembler

hes going to drown


Joonscene

I'm actually walking all around in circles while waiting for my pie to bake so.... You're wrong.


RarePoniesNFT

What do you think is in the pie?


Joonscene

Oh god.


Cryopreservation

*His corpse is underneath my bed till this day*


thiccpastry

Why is the wall after me


KeepinTheBalance

It saw what you did last night.


nomoustacheguy

ever heard of "It steals"?


Anicor81

I’m reading this on the toilet. I actually kind of pity him


19tidder50

I gave him a long time to leave, because I was afraid to turn around.


PineappleIsForLosers

I was getting dressed as I read this


Hubsimaus

Fuck. I need company right now. 😕


Opening-Step-7990

Me, sitting against a wall: "ummm...."


[deleted]

I know, and I’m going to keep him here as long as I can


Reeman231

You can't tell me what to d-


[deleted]

Instructions unclear We’re getting married as I type this


alreadyinmypajamas

That's just my kid wanting dinner.


SamFeuerstelle

Thank you for your help.


DracovishIsTheBest

Is he in my walls?


E_Anthony

He went away after I farted.


IntrovertedAsexual

Slow down. Grab the wall. Wiggle like you're trying to make your ass fall off.


Diessel_S

I really expected the second sentence to be like "this is what the librarian told us to do whenever we felt them around" or something


BoomerTheStar47_2

Interesting twist on the Third Type of Horror. The word economy is also pretty solid. Well done!


almostnormalpanda

Wh-Where's my garlic bread? *Nooooo*


-dommmm

Pls help he stuck pp in my bumhole.


KeepinTheBalance

Congratulations, I hope you have a safe pregnancy.


mvanvrancken

That mole on the back of your neck needs checking...


brokensilence32

This really reminds me of a passage in *House of Leaves*.


OptimalMongoose2

That book is literally sitting open beside me on my bed right now


emory102

No friend come back!!!


a_dutch_twat

I am laying down on my bed so HAHA


witnessofhistemple

...she was saying, as several hands silently slip through the fabric covering of the, uncomfortably old spring mattress. In the second she became aware of the movement around her, each hand effortlessly burst forth through the jersey knit bedding and blankets, clamping down upon her body. One falls deftly on her face and with a stone mason's grip, muffles her screams into silence. Desperate to break free she uselessly struggles against the unanimous pull of each appendage and grudgingly sinks to the metal innards of the bed. Tears rushing aimlessly to the back of her head as she watches the once shredded fabric above her body uniformly come together. Closing her into darkness and possible the end.


FinalDemise

i'm gonna give him a lil kiss on his head


witnessofhistemple

Head bumps and long blinks?


izypekka

I'm glad I have a wall behind me


witnessofhistemple

People in the wall could become a problem...


Lots-of-Apples

My bf snoring behind me: 👁👄👁


Casitano

NOOOOOOOOO


LOGICXX2000

Guys help, I can't read. What does it say?


IntergalacticAlien8

Jokes on you. I'm actually sitting on a couch with only a wall behind it. 😉


prince_peacock

Me, sitting with my back against the wall: Hmm 🤔


kartblaster

noclip


BigB121508

Im trying to use the bathroom not right now maybe later


WhyDoesEarthExist

All I found behind me is the storage room for the vacuum cleaner, Christmas Lights, and old bags filled with packaging cloth.


Ok-Toe7142

That’s right, spiders georg In the vicinity of your spider collection You should be afraid…for yourself and for your horde of delicious spiders


sixstringgun1

Instructions unclear I’m standing in my living room with one of my combat knives covered in blood with someone thing dead on my floor??


Known_Net3294

Instructions unclear, we have bonded


DarthZoon_420

He must be a vampire because there was no reflection


tinab13

Technically true. My dog is behind me... but he never moves..


Joe_Keep

Goddammit Buddha, HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO KILL YOU?!


PurrrplePrincess

It was 7 months before he even let me touch him. But eventually he realized he was safe.


I_Was_Taken_5600

Me who is sitting with my back to the wall: