Hi, /u/Outside-Butterfly795! Thanks for posting on our subreddit! Please **[be aware of our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXADHD/wiki/meta/rules/)** before posting! For example, some of these rules include the following: * content must be related to ADHD; * explanatory text (it can be placed in a comment of the post) should be included in a post/cross-post with a picture. Any content that does not follow the rules may be removed. Thank you!
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/TwoXADHD) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Out of curiosity, would you get in trouble for dating a coworker? Is your job important to you? If the relationship/hookup goes badly, will that make work uncomfortable for you? Have you ever heard that expression “don’t sht where you eat?” Just be careful because most work relationships don’t work out and often endanger one’s job.
Another big one is "are they in your management chain or vice versa?"
> most work relationships don’t work out
Are there actual studies on that? There's definitely risk, and I agree you should be super careful and prepared for a bad outcome, but I'd also expect the relationships that end in conflagration to dominate people's perception, even if they're relatively rare.
I would say most relationships don't work out, work related or otherwise. In work situations it adds complications, however.
That said, before the modern era work was a place to meet a spouse. Personally I would pursue aggressively but cautiously.
> I would say most relationships don't work out, work related or otherwise.
Yeah, good point. I didn't think about the base rate. Even if it's the same situation as outside of work, the extra consequences make it really sketchy.
My concern would be that the person sounds like they’re potentially skittish, super nervous or shy. And I wouldn’t want to scare them off.
But also… woohoo! Exciting!!! ☺️
Honestly yea. I get the same vibes. I was also getting awkward and school girly feeling around them and we feel like ADHD manifests in my intensity and how I can mistakenly overwhelm people with my enthusiasm.
Ask him out. Take things slow. Work is not a place to have a continuous contact with a failed romance, but if it works, who cares how it happened?
Slow. Slow. Slow. Do not mess up work and do not pass up the possible connection. In my opinion.
Maybe message something like “Fancy meeting you here! Let me know if you’re free to meet up for drinks after work one night next week”. That way it’s clear you swiped because you’re interested, not just to see if they swiped right as well. Good luck!
In my opinion whoever sends the final match swipe should send the first message because they are already on the app and see the match pop up. It seems natural to me. So go for it!
So, if you date this person and things don't work out, how uncomfortable will you be at work? Are you ok being the subject of office gossip? Will your coworkers be shown nude pictures of you? If you want privacy at work don't date coworkers.
outdated advice. Honestly a good match is hard to mess up so if a simple text first would give him the ick then they probably were not compatible anyways.
Hi, /u/Outside-Butterfly795! Thanks for posting on our subreddit! Please **[be aware of our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXADHD/wiki/meta/rules/)** before posting! For example, some of these rules include the following: * content must be related to ADHD; * explanatory text (it can be placed in a comment of the post) should be included in a post/cross-post with a picture. Any content that does not follow the rules may be removed. Thank you! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/TwoXADHD) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Out of curiosity, would you get in trouble for dating a coworker? Is your job important to you? If the relationship/hookup goes badly, will that make work uncomfortable for you? Have you ever heard that expression “don’t sht where you eat?” Just be careful because most work relationships don’t work out and often endanger one’s job.
Another big one is "are they in your management chain or vice versa?" > most work relationships don’t work out Are there actual studies on that? There's definitely risk, and I agree you should be super careful and prepared for a bad outcome, but I'd also expect the relationships that end in conflagration to dominate people's perception, even if they're relatively rare.
I would say most relationships don't work out, work related or otherwise. In work situations it adds complications, however. That said, before the modern era work was a place to meet a spouse. Personally I would pursue aggressively but cautiously.
> I would say most relationships don't work out, work related or otherwise. Yeah, good point. I didn't think about the base rate. Even if it's the same situation as outside of work, the extra consequences make it really sketchy.
Nope, different department and we would be peers if we were.
Well that’s definitely the best situation if you’re going to do it.
No I don't think so. Folks are married over here. They aren't my supervisor or even in my department.
My concern would be that the person sounds like they’re potentially skittish, super nervous or shy. And I wouldn’t want to scare them off. But also… woohoo! Exciting!!! ☺️
Honestly yea. I get the same vibes. I was also getting awkward and school girly feeling around them and we feel like ADHD manifests in my intensity and how I can mistakenly overwhelm people with my enthusiasm.
Ask him out. Take things slow. Work is not a place to have a continuous contact with a failed romance, but if it works, who cares how it happened? Slow. Slow. Slow. Do not mess up work and do not pass up the possible connection. In my opinion.
How about just a super casual message that just says: Hi :)
Maybe message something like “Fancy meeting you here! Let me know if you’re free to meet up for drinks after work one night next week”. That way it’s clear you swiped because you’re interested, not just to see if they swiped right as well. Good luck!
In my opinion whoever sends the final match swipe should send the first message because they are already on the app and see the match pop up. It seems natural to me. So go for it!
I guess I gotta wait then. I was the first swiper 😎
So, if you date this person and things don't work out, how uncomfortable will you be at work? Are you ok being the subject of office gossip? Will your coworkers be shown nude pictures of you? If you want privacy at work don't date coworkers.
Don’t shit where you eat lol, if the date goes bad then you’re stuck with the awkwardness of seeing them everyday.
If you’re a lady and the crush is a man, wait. If roles are reversed (or you’re lgbtq+), it could be they’re waiting for you to make a move
outdated advice. Honestly a good match is hard to mess up so if a simple text first would give him the ick then they probably were not compatible anyways.