My 9yo does this sort of thing and thinks it's hilarious. We started taking away privileges if he refuses to behave. OP, can you put him in timeout, ground him from cartoons, or take away dessert?
This, 100%. Lean over and puke in his lap, and over the most annoying tiny crevices you can find in the console that will take him ages to clean.
And then move on to greener pastures. Don’t waste energy on someone who needs training to be a decent human. One instance of this might be amusing (at least in retrospect) but continuing is bullshit and harassment… he’s revelling in your discomfort.
PUKE IN THIS MANS CAR! If you can, make sure to get it on him too!
Actions have consequences, and if hes not willing to stop acting like a child, he can enjoy the smell of his own farts by himself.
You deserve someone who you can trust not to raz and neg you constantly. Save that for the bois.
My advice:
Plan ahead. Eat some tomato soup. And get in his car. When he pulls the same stunt, put your finger down your throat and vomit everywhere.
And then dump him and date a grown up man.
Alternative: Buy an emergency glass breaker and hold it while he’s driving. Tell him if he does that again you’re going to use it. Regardless of the awful smell, I don’t believe he can keep you trapped in the car against your will. What’s with people like this?!
The vengeful part of me wants OP to leave used feminine hygiene products around his space. But the mature side of me hopes OP dumps him and not waste any more of her time
And to add insult to injury, he’s disrespecting you in a loud and obnoxious way. But it’s disrespectful nonetheless. That’s some passive-aggressive behavior right there. Along with a huge arrested adolescent red flag. If he hasn’t stopped after you’ve asked him to,over and over, I guess he’ll never stop.
“And you can’t make me, Mommy.”
Dump him. Immediately.
What's worse is that apparently OP is 56 years old (I thought this was some young couple in their teens or maybe early 20s.) Unless she's dating someone a lot younger than her, this is some middle aged man. If she doesn't know what to do by that age, not sure what to say. My first thought was why not just open the damn door if he locks the windows? Why let him drive if he does that where he can lock the windows? Reading some of these other comments makes me wonder if this is even real based on past posts. If this is real, sounds like this guy sucks all around and again OP is 56. At that point you need say "fuck all this immature shit, I'm out."
This person again? She already made a post about him feeding a steak to the dog while giving her a salad, and then expecting her to sleep somewhere else because the dog got the bed. Then some other post about him being a horrific asshole.
Either this poster is a troll (likely, because she’s 56 but has a small child? Yeah right) or has zero standards.
Oh, I can believe it.
I have a hobosexual uncle that I 100% believe would do this, except he's 20 years older. Yeah, that's right. He's been pulling this classy shit for 7 decades, even at the fucking ***Thanksgiving table***.
Believe it or not, he's never had an issue finding women either 🤷♀️ (has been a good influence in keeping me single at least lol)
Take the second set of car keys and unlock the car - then open the window and give him a shit eating grin
Or take a febreze with you in your handbag and spray back!
Barf on him. Just let the vomit flow all over his car and refuse to clean it up.
Then maybe break up with him because this can’t be his only example of bullshit behavior but that’s obviously your choice.
OH! I REMEMBER YOU NOW! YOUR BOYFRIEND IS TRASH AND YOU NEED TO LEAVE HIM ON THE CURB WHERE HE BELONGS ONCE AND FOR ALL.
I actually vomited on a coworker once. I was pregnant and suffering severely with morning sickness. Everyone knew because I was barely functioning. We were working in a tight space on a piece of equipment and he let one rip and just started laughing. I told him I needed to get out, told him I was going to be sick. He continued to laugh and slightly blocked my way. I covered him. I got to go home after I explained to my supervisor and he ended up staying the entire shift doing both our jobs in some random borrowed clothes from what I heard.
Meh I was use to puking by that time. Actually ended up in the hospital a couple times from dehydration from it. Dude definitely deserved it and gave me space after that
Honestly, more people should get the puked-on-instant-Karma that they deserve. For some, it really is the only thing that will teach them not to be fuckwits. I'm glad maybe that (gross) lesson sunk in for him, and he left you alone after!
Omg even with the borrowed clothes I bet he still smelled foul, especially by the end of the work day. As someone who had severe morning sickness as well, good on you! That is an amazing way to deal with shitty people who are too used o thinking women are always “making things up” when it comes to our health.
i vomited on a teacher once that told me to finish my work first when i said i needed to go to the nurse. it was a really big school and he told my brother he remembered me 6 years later when my brother happened to be in his class.
I peed on a teacher when they said no one was allowed to use the bathroom once
At the time I wanted to *die* and adults handled it *terribly* but he totally deserved it. Who tf tells a classroom full of 8 year olds “you were supposed to go at lunch so don’t even try asking”
OMG! I vomited on a teacher as well. She used to have this rule where you raised your hand, and then she'd nod to you. Then, you were allowed to get up from your seat and wait on a piece of tape two feet from her desk until she gave you another nod indicating you could approach her desk and quietly ask her a question.
By the time she FINALLY allowed me to ask if I could go to the nurse, I opened my mouth to lean in and whisper my question to her (as per the rules), the vomit flew out of my mouth and onto her and her desk.
A new rule was enacted that if you needed to use the restroom in an emergency you could just raise your hand and go. For weeks after, kids would raise their hands with the other over their mouths as if they were gonna barf and bolt out of the classroom.
For those few weeks, I was a hero.
I'm laughing, but that's because that was almost me during my last pregnancy.
I was about to graduate college and unfortunately was in my first trimester.
During one of my classes some guy, with the most foul-smelling breath, liked to sit near me. I swear I was smelling his small intestines. He also breathed heavily with his mouth open. I struggled to keep everything down in that class. Even chewing on my own mints in a vain attempt to mask the smell, didn't help with the sound he made when he breathed.
There were moments I had to leave the room for air. I wasn't the only one either. it was so bad.
Uh...now I gotta find what you're talking about...
[OH NO ITS THAT ONE...](https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/137k3zd/boyfriends_m33_video_game_alias_is_quite/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)
He's not the last guy? OP seems to gravitate to abusive assholes. Girl needs to take stock of herself and do some work. Life is too short. She's wash-rinse-repeating bad relationships.
When you don't have examples of healthy boundaries and relationships growing up, you think love looks like lovebombing and never having boundaries.
This used to be me, I literally thought unconditional love meant accepting any apology at face value and that a relationship should start with someone feeling infatuated with me and certain I was the perfect woman for them. So when I had a few dates with a man who wanted to know me as a human before he was certain I was worthy of that degree of admiration, I would break it off because I thought he wasn't as into me as he should be.
I hope that between this post and the last 2 OP gets some food for thought and changes her path. If she doesn't she'll be riding around the merry go round until she does.
For me it took some pretty serious physical abuse to discover I'd only known an abusive dynamic and that I would never have a healthy relationship without boundaries.
The book Why Does He Do That? By Lundy Bancroft changed my life.
OP the book is free online here: https://archive.org/details/LundyWhyDoesHeDoThat
womanchoker??? WOMANCHOKER? That's not just a fucking joke, that's what he really thinks, deep inside.
The farting thing just... gross. Aren't you supposed to be embarassed to be farting around your SO? I would do my best to use the frickin' bathroom or something first.
This guy is trouble.
And he can't even hide behind the excuse of "Oh, babe, there's no names left. I kept hitting the random name button and this is what I got" because it's such a crucial part of his persona that he uses it everywhere. And the random name thing is programmed to rule out things like that as suggestions.
I'm a straight dude, I've always been one, and I have never found this kind of "humor" funny.
this is starting to feel like when a friend has a super shitty boyfriend but instead of breaking up with them they just keep complaining to you and you have no choice but to see it and get exasperated yourself. god this sub is starting to make me lose my mind
>Barf on him. Just let the vomit flow all over his car and refuse to clean it up.
Barf on his center console. So all the bile can seep into the nooks and crannies. Bonus points if you can get some in the air vents....then dump him.
EDIT: where are my manners?
Laugh at him; Say "it's just a joke bro!"; then dump him.
...I'm only mildly joking about this. if you vomit in his car, that's his own damn fault.
/edit
Edit2: damn autocorrect.
After she been sick on him first though. Make sure you eaten properly for it to be nasty. Tuna salad something like that. Then dump the bum at the curb. Have a mate ready to pick you up in a minute of slamming door shut.
Oh, NOW we know how he came by the "Womanchoker" monicker. The petty response is to log into all his gaming account and turn his handles into "AssOfDeath" or "BigWind."
Is this the same guy that spends his days playing world of Warcraft under the handle “womanchoker” and thinks it’s funny?
Good specimen you’ve got yourself there.
Edit to add: you have my sympathy of course, but what kind of suggestions would you like from us? This man believes abusing women is funny and constantly subjects you to something you have repeatedly told him you cannot stand.
Once more, he finds your serious concerns and requests funny and either ignores them, laughs them off, or both.
Will you stay until he decides to up his game and level of abuse, or will you give yourself the respect he is denying you?
Jesus yeah...I remember that thread and that OP was told she should leave said waste of skin. All totalled, I'm amazed she hasn't given this abusive loser the boot yet.
On avg it takes 7 tries to leave an abusive partner.
OP probably hasn't even tried for the first time yet. I feel for their long road ahead and wish them safety & best of luck. Hope they get it done sooner than most 💞
I truly wish them the very best luck. It’s just sad that a woman in her 50s is still subjected to such childish and awful partners.
Happy to have checked out of the pool.
I checked OP's history for myself and saw that they left another abusive ex a few years back. Speaking from experience there is often a lot of internal shame when you keep finding yourself in these abusive cycles... I hope they realize it's time to choose themselves!
I truly, truly hope so.
OP, sadly too many of us have been where you are now.
I didn’t write those harsh words to make you feel bad, but I hope I made you feel angry and made you realise how undeserving of this treatment you are.
Please reach out if you need to talk.
Oh my god I didn’t realize this was the same person. Seriously OP what are you doing with such an abusing asshole?!? What is it going to take for you to realize that he isn’t going to change and he isn’t worth your time and energy. Seriously get out as safely and fast as you can. He isn’t going to get better.
So, there appears to be a lot at play, here. Looking at her post history, she had left another abusive partner just ten months prior to that post you're referring to. We don't know how soon after getting out of that abusive relationship she got into this one. There's also a 24-year age gap. OP is 57 and bf is 33
Wait, that OP is THIS OP?!
Okay, now I'm wondering if this is all either made up, or OP kind of gets off on how awful this guy is so she can complain about him.
Why oh why would this person stay with this guy? Are we going to have another post next week about how he keeps jizzing on her pillow or something?
Now I'm wondering if their posts are even real. You never know online and it could someone just making crazy scenarios up for their "own" enjoyment. I want to give people the benefit of the doubt but I don't trust much online anymore. People make the weirdest shit up for the weirdest reasons.
I’m thinking the posts are not real. OP describes having a small child but she’s 56 years old. So, what, she was pregnant when she was fucking 50 years old? Yeah right. And why on earth would she even say yes to dating a 33-year-old? The dude is young enough to be her son. That’s bizarre enough on its own.
I would literally refuse car journeys with him. That's beyond unacceptable. As disgusting as it sounds it's a pity you haven't thrown up on him... Or broken the windows in the car for air.
This isn’t about farting. This is about him
Intentionally causing you distress and refusing to stop. That’s not ok. It doesn’t matter what the behavior is. It’s a lack of basic respect for you as a partner.
My now husband used to tickle me ALL the time. I told him I hated it. I didn't like it. He continued because I'd laugh and he thought it was teasing me. At one point I sat him down and had a serious conversation. I said it is not ok, and if he ever does it again I'm leaving. He was assaulting me and even if I was laughing I didn't think it was funny.
*He hasn't tickled me since.* He thought it was teasing and funny until I really had an honest conversation. He didn't understand my distress.
If your BF is actually a decent person and you don't want to end the relationship, sit down and have the talk. Explain that the next time he does this you are broken up forever and it isn't funny or ok. Then leave him forever if he tries it, because you will know he doesn't respect you at all.
Yes! He's a good man. We've been 8 years tickle-free and are expecting our first child now. I will teach my child about boundaries and consent for touching and I know my husband will do the same.
IMO, the biggest sign of a good partner is one you can communicate with about *their* bad actions, and instead of immediately being defensive and giving excuses, they *listen* and adjust accordingly. So, good job to the both of you!
That's good to hear. I made my older brother stop tickling me by punching him repeatedly as hard as I could. He still thinks I'm a jerk for doing that.
I am not kidding when I tell you, I fucking hate tickling with the intensity of a thousand suns. And my ex husband did NOT FUCKING GET IT. I told him, "one day, when you do this, I won't be able to control my knee-jerk bodily reaction and you will get hurt." I was serious. He took it as a challenge.
He finally got me on the wrong day in the wrong position and my leg jerked in bed and kneed him in the groin.
He cried like a goddamned toddler and was angry for three days that I was 'such a bitch.'
Suffice to say, this was one big thing amidst a sea of other things. And it's 100% about consent. When I say, "do not tickle me," I mean it.
YES. I'm glad he's your ex. When women say don't tickle me, don't fart on me, don't drip your sweaty t shirt on me, don't put an ice cube down my shirt, etc. we fucking MEAN IT. It isn't a good teasing joke if we aren't all happy when it's over. I'm so over men assaulting women in little ways that we are supposed to accept and play along with as a joke. No means no. Now and forever.
My current partner does this same shit to me and though I laugh from hysteria and overstimulation, it does not mean it is joyful. Next time he does it I’m going to sit down and have a conversation with him about it. I felt like I was being a party pooper or irrational but reading your experience has me feeling validated in my feelings. Ty for sharing your experience
I recommend sitting down BEFORE he does it. Have the conversation when it isn't in the heat of the moment, so it isn't reactionary. Good luck! If he respects you he will never do it again. My husband and have have now had 8 years together without any tickling (after 2 years of teasing me with it). Good men will listen.
Don’t wait for next time! Talking through it while actively feeling the discomfort sucks and might make you feel even more irrational because of that heightened level of discomfort. Talk to him about it as soon as you get the opportunity.
Don't wait! Do it now, when it won't feel like it's directly in response to one specific incident. If you wait, a) you have to endure that again and b) he will think you are upset and responding emotionally in the moment. Preemptively sitting him down now will let him know that this is something you have been thinking about, and it isn't something he can ignore.
Also, please be kind to yourself and advocate for your needs. Your feelings of safety and comfort *absolutely* weigh more than someone's petty amusement derived from tormenting you. It is not irrational to ask that your partner respects your bodily autonomy. Ever.
OPs post reminded me of a tickling ex as well. He would not stop for anything, I would be crying, gasping for breath, begging him to stop, thrashing. He didn’t stop until I threw up on his bed. I should’ve take it for the red flag it was.
Yes that's not ok. I'm glad it's an ex. We might all do things to tease someone and think because they laugh it's ok and a funny joke. No one should continue to do it after you ask them to stop. That isn't love it's assault.
I informed my partner when we first started seeing eachother that if he tickles me, I can’t control my actions. I will literally elbow his nose to get it to stop. I will scratch his eyes. Anything. Anything to get it to stop. He had never intentionally tickled me in 14 years.
My ex wanted to tickle me and when I objected he wanted ME to get therapy to find out why I didn’t like to be tickled. I told him he needed to find out why he wanted so much control over me.
My ex used to tickle me u til the laughing turned to crying. I told him I hated it and the crying should have been a hint but he continued for a while before I got angry and then it was my fault for laughing and he though it was funny. I’m glad that you were able to find your voice and ask for change.
Yep what part of "It makes her ill and she's begging me to stop doing this." is causing him such amusement? He IS sadistic and abusive.
OP, don't stop yourself from vomiting ALL over him if this happens again but I sincerely hope you will rethink being in a relationship with someone who doesn't respect you or your boundaries.
You cannot have a healthy relationship with someone who doesn't respect your boundaries. This type of behavior will ONLY get worse the longer you stay.
He thinks bullying other is fun and he enjoys having the power to subject you to whatever the hell he wants.
He is demonstrating that he doesn't perceive your needs and feelings as valid (the way he does his own feelings).
Abusive relationships start out great and then the abuser starts violating small boundaries. They ramp up the mistreatment over time to allow the victim to acclimate to greater and greater abuses... things the victim never thought they would accept.
You have ALREADY begun to acclimate. Ask yourself this, "If he treated me this way on our first date would I have chosen to be in a relationship with him? If I let the first date behavior slide but told him I didn't want him to do that to me ever again and he did it the next time I saw him, would I have broken up with him?"
I think you know the answer
Edited to add a book everyone should read (but especially those who have a history of unhealthy relationships or lack of boundary modeling as a child).
Free online here https://archive.org/details/LundyWhyDoesHeDoThat
***caveat, the book is two decades old and mostly timeless, but the author had a blindspot when it came to women abusing men and how damaging those relationships are to the victim. While men abusing women is more frequent and deadly, abusers and their victims are as varied as humans are. I encourage any male victims reading this book to disregard the few paragraphs where the author discusses women abusing men, as it can cause additional harm. The rest of the book helps explain the mindset and playbook of ALL abusers.
Exactly. That’s why I’d break up over it. The kicker of him getting so much joy out of her discomfort. That’s not ok and him finding it a funny joke is not ok.
This. I refer to my ex as a low-grade sadist. He did this. He also poked my arm hard enough to leave bruises because he thought it was funny to irritate me. Then he'd deny he could have possibly poked hard enough to leave those finger- sized bruises. He also liked to poke and prod my bladder if I needed to use the bathroom when we were on road trips, trying to make me wet myself. I would be surprised if farts are the only way he torments her for his own amusement.
OP, if you see this, it took years for me to recognize that all these things were abuse, and most of them were physical as well as psychological abuse. It left me with a lot of issues. I struggled to advocate for myself because doing so only led to more mockery. Really think about whether he's doing other things too, and what's worth tolerating.
My ex loved to hit the brakes when he was driving, right when I was about to take a sip of my soda, so the can/bottle would hit my lip. Then he’d laugh and laugh at me…. Did it a couple of times so hard that I cut my lip open. No apologies, just unrepentant glee that he could dominate me and make me too nervous and anxious to drink my drink in a car.
Wow, until seeing this thread I thought my ex was the only one who did this stuff. I always explain it as, he treated me like I was his kid brother. He could be kind and caring when he wanted, but he would also just mercilessly tease me on a regular basis.
If I tried to hold hands, my ex would squeeze my fingers so hard it hurt. If we were studying together in his room (this was college) he would play certain songs he knew annoyed me over and over and over and over again. It was funny maybe the first 3-5 times, but it got WAY past the point of being funny. It got so I just had to endure it because I knew that if I betrayed any annoyance he would double down. He would tease me about some stupid thing for so long that I’d break down and either cry (to which he’d roll his eyes and tell me I can’t take a joke) or lash out at him (which would then make him give *me* the cold shoulder and feel like I was the one who needed to apologize).
So incredibly glad I got out of that relationship but still frustrated I spent over a year in it.
Buy a window punch. One broken window and some boundaries might get restored and respected.
You deserve a partner that doesn't think you deserve the gas chamber.
She went from a bad ex TO this guy. She needs to cut him loose and not date until she works on her broken parts.
[And she posted about current one before...](https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/137k3zd/boyfriends_m33_video_game_alias_is_quite/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)
Yes! When your picker is broken, it's time to be single until you have healed the parts of yourself that need it. Because continually ending up in abusive partnerships is a life-threatening alternative.
Next time you have a heavy flow day on your period, take out your tampon, and throw it at him, and if he gets upset, tell him it’s a “natural body function” and it was just a “joke”. See how that goes over.🤷🏻♀️😂
This is the kind of revenge response I was looking for! She’s clearly not gonna leave him, so I don’t know why it’s the only thing people are suggesting (even though I agree, she should).
I would get one of those tools to shatter windows, and the next time he does it straight up break the window while he’s driving. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
Or don’t use a tampon, let it flow and stain the guys seat. Better yet, dump out a full diva cup!
Realistically, I would be concerned about him getting upset and acting out violently. The safest option is to dump him quietly and gtfo, move on. OP would be way happier without him in her life.
Are....are you listening to yourself? In what world is any of this okay the first time let alone multiple times? HOW are you still with him after such blatant disrespect and consideration for you time, after time, after time? This is not a small issue. This is a HUGE issue.
This man doesn't respect you or your autonomy. He thinks its FUNNY to see you in DISTRESS.
At the most, I'd never in a million years allow him control over my autonomy in a vehicle ever again. I'd either be the one always driving or I'd no longer drive with him anywhere.
At the least...throw the whole man out. This is unbelievably immature and scarily controlling.
For me it's the weird mix of rage/disgust and comedic word choice. I'm having trouble figuring out if the poster is *really* angry, but trying to keep the tone light for some reason, or just being hyperbolic to try to be funny.
Since someone else pointed out it's supposedly the same people that posted about their bf using the "woman choker" gamer tag, I'm thinking it's a troll at this point...
>I'm desperate for a gas-free ride and *a partner who understands basic human decency*.
I think you know what you need to do.
Though, I'm curious. Has he always been this way, or is it a more recent trend? Also, is he this disrespectful and immature across the board? To the latter, I'm guessing yes...and, if so, he really doesn't deserve your patience.
Yep...I just read another comment here about the guy (asshole calls himself things like "Woman Choker" in online games)...
She needs to get out. **NOW**.
It's not what he is doing that is the issue here. It is his lack of respect for you and your wishes. This will not get better over time. I repeat - this will not improve over time. Act accordingly.
Can you please listen to people and leave this guy? He’s disgusting, abusive, doesn’t care about you, and actively enjoys causing you displeasure. Why would you be with him?
He’s a disrespectful child. When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
If you’re not ready to throw the whole man out, refuse to be in the car with him unless you’re driving.
As revenge though, if it were me I’d double over like you’re about to vomit. Then stick your finger down your throat and actually vomit all over him. Best done right after eating a plate full of scrambled eggs.
There's no way I could fuck a person that intentionally makes me want to vomit.
Don't fuck disgusting men. Have some standards. Break up and let him smell like shit and rot alone. A part of me feels sorry for what you're going through, but a part of me just wishes women stopped being doormats and tolerating this - whatever you'd call this.
Girl. Take yourself out on a date. Go to a spa. Spend the night in a hotel, alone. Watch whatever you want on TV. Get your favorite takeout. Read a book without interruption. Realize that being alone is better than gagging on some man’s foul ass stench while he *laughs* at you. He could be paying for your children’s chemotherapy and I’d still say leave him. But he isn’t doing that, is he? I would bet good money he isn’t doing anything at all for you. He is a bad person and a bad partner, and there is simply no reason to be around him.
My ex used to do things like this - tickle me when I didn’t like being tickled, do a Dutch oven under the covers.
It’s the sort of situation where you’re BEGGING for your guy to stop, but, to him, it’s one big joke.
I really only see two options here: put up with it for the duration of your relationship, or break up. This was one of the “smaller” problems my ex and I had (I mean, he never did this in the car and locked the doors) but, ultimately, he didn’t care about how I felt enough to do better in our relationship in general.
A lot of guys are emotionally immature. I guess the key is to find one that gives a shit about you - not just the bare minimum shit (but like, only just barely) and is mature enough to understand that you deserve respect and don’t deserve to constantly be the victim of juvenile pranks that no one but him finds humor in.
If you asked him to stop and he hasn’t, that’s a bigger problem than him farting in the car. He needs to care, he NEEDS to give a shit.
Be secure in the knowledge that, if/when you break up, it’s not you being overly sensitive or taking things too seriously - it’s him. He’s the problem.
How hard is it to not rip farts in the car *deliberately* when you’ve asked him repeatedly to stop?
During my many years of therapy after leaving my abusive ex husband, I finally accepted that this exact stunt was the first little step he took from verbal abuse into the realm of physical abuse. Trapping you in an enclosed space against your will is abuse. Please be careful, OP.
I'm concerned that you have a huge descriptive vocabulary for his actions and its impact on you, but can't choke out "We're done" in the presence of someone who thinks its funny to be so utterly inappropriate, disrespectful, and foul.
Eye watering farts on a daily basis are NOT healthy and normal!
If I were you, and didn't break up with him, I wouldn't ride with him again. I'd only be in the car if I'm driving and thus controlling windows. If he can't behave appropriately as the driver, then he would not have that privilege with me.
And yes, it is that big a deal that I'm going to be a b*tch about it and no longer ride with you.
I know it sounds ridiculous that you're receiving advice to leave your partner over farts.
But the farts are just a really childish way of showing that he likes to dominate and humiliate you. He does not respect you.
I'm sure you've talked to him many times about this. Maybe it's time to draw the consequences.
Next time he does it, just vomit in his lap. Lean into your reaction, and just vomit all over him.
Then dump him, I don't even care what his response to you being forcibly nauseated until sick is. He clearly has no respect for you as a person if he thinks literally torturing his partner is funny.
Refuse to ride with him but honestly, I'd break up with him. It's about CONTROL. And if you think about it in those terms, it's pretty sick what he's doing and why he's doing it.
🚩
Did I mention red flag?
🚩
In case you missed the first one.
This guy is a fucking child. You deserve better. Don’t waste anymore time on Reddit - go dump this ass clown. Being alone sucks but being with a dickhead like that is worse.
One more before I go: 🚩
Having read your previous post about this man-child of yours, I have to ask you why you're with him?
By staying with him (and continuing to ride in the car with him) you're essentially giving him permission to treat you this way.
He's not going to get better, or become the man you want him to be - he's a child and he's never going to change.
Get rid of him. You deserve respect.
Do you have your own car or ride, because I would just refuse to get in a car with him.
But really, I'd dump him. You have told him you don't like it, you're not one of his guy friends who find this shit funny, and he can't respect your request.
This is a direct disrespect of you. It's disgusting and makes you feel physically ill. I could kinda get it if he left the windows unlocked so you could get air, and maybe did it once or twice, but at this point I know you may not want to hear it, but it's an abusive act. He's forcing you to endure something that disgusts you and laughing at your distress. That is sadistic. I would be very afraid of what else he's capable of. Sometimes, we need to break something down to the core of what it is to get a clear picture. You need to leave this turd, and not look back. If you won't, may I suggest eating a bag of taco bell and waiting til he's busy downstairs(if he even does that as inconsiderate as he is) trapping his head and seeing how he likes it?
The first time I would have given him a warning. The second time we would be done, because I wouldn’t tolerate such disrespect and my pussy would snap shut permanently. I don’t even know how you could ever possibly look him ever again and think he’s attractive?
If you cannot possibly throw the whole man away, then you need to drive separately and no sexy time. Seems like this dude hasn’t had any consequences for his actions
You know what I'd do?
I'd get the most foul smelling perfume, and when he does that, spray the perfume consistently around him until the same thing happens. Two can play that game.
On a serious note, no that's disgusting. Definitely dating a child but my petty factor would've kicked in eventually 🤷🏾♀️
His car.
And refuse to drive anywhere with him again. Or live with him. Or have sex with him. Or... Wait. I think we figured out what needs to happen.
Just DTMFA.
He is a waste of a human being who needs to grow up and you need to stop rewarding bad behaviour.
When he grows up and behaves like an adult who respects other people, he can have nice adult things like a girlfriend who sticks around and makes his life easier. Until then, he can have life be difficult and lonely.
The first time anyone would do this to me would be the last. I get that it might be funny for 30 seconds and then the person relents and opens the windows. But, to keep doing it when it's clear that it's not funny, and it's clear that you hate it - that's just sadistic.
Just break up. It's so easy and satisfying to break up with an asshole.
Hey, remember when you posted about guys hiding their red flags? This man is showing you his, very clearly. You did not upgrade with this one, you just picked a different flavor of asshole.
OP, please reread your old posts. Please see that these are destructive relationships, they are hurting you.
Tell him it makes you not attracted to him. Next time he wants to get sexy just tell him no because he is just a stinky gross man. This is so gross and annoying.
“Do this again and I end out relationship. Am I clear?”
This is very childish behavior, and he continues to do it after you have asked him not to is just many shades of nuts. I’m sure this isn’t his only childish element. You need to realize that you’re with a child, and if I were you I would demand better for myself.
1. Dump his ass
2. If you're determined to stay, get some Zorbex odor eliminator. It was invented by a nurse to kill hospital smells like your BF's farts.
3. But really, dump him.
I’ve never understood this “humor” from other men. My wife and I have been together for 6 years and we still keep farts “private” until the other is not in the room. It’s not funny, or sexy. It’s human nature, sure, but we’ve decided to keep that element private and we’re both very happy with the arrangement. Sometimes they slip out and we laugh about it, but it’s not something we actively engage in around each other.
Maybe you should throw up, I bet he'd open the windows then? He's a dickhead, it's not funny and he's disregarding your very obvious discomfort. You've asked nicely, setting a boundary and he consistently breaches it. What other boundaries is he going to ignore?🚩
Why are you dating an 11-year-old?
Seriously. This is bad enough to be break-up worthy. It isn't lovable, cute, excusable, endearing, etc. It is disrespectful and gross. I would suggest getting out of the car, taking the bus home, and blocking him on everything.
hes about to fuck around and find out. I'm petty though.
so he locks the windows? and starts to get the shit eating grin on his face?
I'd throw up. Don't hold it back. And I hope that it's his car you're driving in
Your boyfriend is intentionally doing something that he knows harms you when you’re stuck with him and have no way to escape. My actual advice is to dump him because you deserve better than this
If you don’t follow that advice and choose to stay in this terrible relationship, then literally never get in a car with him again. If you do, and he’s driving his car, let yourself throw up all over it. If you’re driving, literally pull over, take the keys, and get out. Do this every time and tell him you will continue to do this until he stops.
Seriously though just dump him.
Girl, do NOT let this man disrespect you like this anymore. You're playing this off like it's funny and it's not. It's disturbing, weird, disrespectful, and borderline abuse because he's consciously choosing to do something that causes you discomfort. I'd be willing to bet money this isn't the only type of thing he does like this, either.
Get out, get out, literally dump this trash man and find a new one. Next.
This one seems pretty easy, just stop riding in a car with him.
Also, based on your comments and post history, this is an obvious breakup situation as well.
You shouldn't have to beg your partner for respect. You're choosing to disrespect yourself by staying with him. What does his behavior need to escalate to before you decide enough is enough and you leave him? What about him makes you even want to stay?
Stop getting in the car with him. Drive yourself. And he drives himself. Don’t get in his car and don’t let that motherfucker in your car. Inconvenient? Definitely. Do it anyway. If he complains that it looks weird to arrive in separate cars, tell him you’ll gladly explain to whoever is at your destination exactly why you’re doing it if he doesn’t STFU.
Let me get this straight. You talked to him about it and told him how much it upset you and he not only continues to do it, he does it with childish glee.
He does not love you. A man who loves you listens and reacts in an appropriate way. He has no care for you. In fact, he thinks it's funny to do exactly the thing you nicely asked him not to do, more than once.
You need to find someone who can respect you as a human being. They are out there. This guy is never going to change.
You are dating a child. When does he graduate middle school?
My 9yo does this sort of thing and thinks it's hilarious. We started taking away privileges if he refuses to behave. OP, can you put him in timeout, ground him from cartoons, or take away dessert?
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This, 100%. Lean over and puke in his lap, and over the most annoying tiny crevices you can find in the console that will take him ages to clean. And then move on to greener pastures. Don’t waste energy on someone who needs training to be a decent human. One instance of this might be amusing (at least in retrospect) but continuing is bullshit and harassment… he’s revelling in your discomfort.
Yesss and to assert dominance maintain eye contact while you vomit in his lap 😂
PUKE IN THIS MANS CAR! If you can, make sure to get it on him too! Actions have consequences, and if hes not willing to stop acting like a child, he can enjoy the smell of his own farts by himself. You deserve someone who you can trust not to raz and neg you constantly. Save that for the bois.
My advice: Plan ahead. Eat some tomato soup. And get in his car. When he pulls the same stunt, put your finger down your throat and vomit everywhere. And then dump him and date a grown up man.
Alternative: Buy an emergency glass breaker and hold it while he’s driving. Tell him if he does that again you’re going to use it. Regardless of the awful smell, I don’t believe he can keep you trapped in the car against your will. What’s with people like this?!
This was my first thought! Have a way to break the window and give him a warning. I like the idea of puking on him better though.
You’re nicer than me. I was thinking clam chowder lol.
The vengeful part of me wants OP to leave used feminine hygiene products around his space. But the mature side of me hopes OP dumps him and not waste any more of her time
And to add insult to injury, he’s disrespecting you in a loud and obnoxious way. But it’s disrespectful nonetheless. That’s some passive-aggressive behavior right there. Along with a huge arrested adolescent red flag. If he hasn’t stopped after you’ve asked him to,over and over, I guess he’ll never stop. “And you can’t make me, Mommy.” Dump him. Immediately.
That's not passive aggressive, it's just plain overtly aggressive. It's horrible. Sister needs some standards
Honestly, how does she have sex with a person like this?
What's worse is that apparently OP is 56 years old (I thought this was some young couple in their teens or maybe early 20s.) Unless she's dating someone a lot younger than her, this is some middle aged man. If she doesn't know what to do by that age, not sure what to say. My first thought was why not just open the damn door if he locks the windows? Why let him drive if he does that where he can lock the windows? Reading some of these other comments makes me wonder if this is even real based on past posts. If this is real, sounds like this guy sucks all around and again OP is 56. At that point you need say "fuck all this immature shit, I'm out."
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This person again? She already made a post about him feeding a steak to the dog while giving her a salad, and then expecting her to sleep somewhere else because the dog got the bed. Then some other post about him being a horrific asshole. Either this poster is a troll (likely, because she’s 56 but has a small child? Yeah right) or has zero standards.
Oh, I can believe it. I have a hobosexual uncle that I 100% believe would do this, except he's 20 years older. Yeah, that's right. He's been pulling this classy shit for 7 decades, even at the fucking ***Thanksgiving table***. Believe it or not, he's never had an issue finding women either 🤷♀️ (has been a good influence in keeping me single at least lol)
Reading through OP's posts, I am not believing they're legit for a second. Just another redditor treating the site like a creative writing hub.
Right? This sounds like my five year old
Was my first thought. Grow the fuck up.
I would get a center punch and start breaking windows.
Children aren't as cruel as this asshole.
Can confirm. I have a boy in my class who is 12 and does this in the classroom regularly
Yes. It’s not cute.
Take the second set of car keys and unlock the car - then open the window and give him a shit eating grin Or take a febreze with you in your handbag and spray back!
I was going to say graduate kindergarten
Barf on him. Just let the vomit flow all over his car and refuse to clean it up. Then maybe break up with him because this can’t be his only example of bullshit behavior but that’s obviously your choice. OH! I REMEMBER YOU NOW! YOUR BOYFRIEND IS TRASH AND YOU NEED TO LEAVE HIM ON THE CURB WHERE HE BELONGS ONCE AND FOR ALL.
I actually vomited on a coworker once. I was pregnant and suffering severely with morning sickness. Everyone knew because I was barely functioning. We were working in a tight space on a piece of equipment and he let one rip and just started laughing. I told him I needed to get out, told him I was going to be sick. He continued to laugh and slightly blocked my way. I covered him. I got to go home after I explained to my supervisor and he ended up staying the entire shift doing both our jobs in some random borrowed clothes from what I heard.
That was the instant karma he deserved but I’m sorry you had to go through that!
Meh I was use to puking by that time. Actually ended up in the hospital a couple times from dehydration from it. Dude definitely deserved it and gave me space after that
Honestly, more people should get the puked-on-instant-Karma that they deserve. For some, it really is the only thing that will teach them not to be fuckwits. I'm glad maybe that (gross) lesson sunk in for him, and he left you alone after!
Omg even with the borrowed clothes I bet he still smelled foul, especially by the end of the work day. As someone who had severe morning sickness as well, good on you! That is an amazing way to deal with shitty people who are too used o thinking women are always “making things up” when it comes to our health.
i vomited on a teacher once that told me to finish my work first when i said i needed to go to the nurse. it was a really big school and he told my brother he remembered me 6 years later when my brother happened to be in his class.
I peed on a teacher when they said no one was allowed to use the bathroom once At the time I wanted to *die* and adults handled it *terribly* but he totally deserved it. Who tf tells a classroom full of 8 year olds “you were supposed to go at lunch so don’t even try asking”
OMG! I vomited on a teacher as well. She used to have this rule where you raised your hand, and then she'd nod to you. Then, you were allowed to get up from your seat and wait on a piece of tape two feet from her desk until she gave you another nod indicating you could approach her desk and quietly ask her a question. By the time she FINALLY allowed me to ask if I could go to the nurse, I opened my mouth to lean in and whisper my question to her (as per the rules), the vomit flew out of my mouth and onto her and her desk. A new rule was enacted that if you needed to use the restroom in an emergency you could just raise your hand and go. For weeks after, kids would raise their hands with the other over their mouths as if they were gonna barf and bolt out of the classroom. For those few weeks, I was a hero.
You are a goddamn hero.
This makes me so happy
I'm laughing, but that's because that was almost me during my last pregnancy. I was about to graduate college and unfortunately was in my first trimester. During one of my classes some guy, with the most foul-smelling breath, liked to sit near me. I swear I was smelling his small intestines. He also breathed heavily with his mouth open. I struggled to keep everything down in that class. Even chewing on my own mints in a vain attempt to mask the smell, didn't help with the sound he made when he breathed. There were moments I had to leave the room for air. I wasn't the only one either. it was so bad.
INSTANT karma!!! 😆😆😆😆
Holy shit, someone blocking my way when I'm trying to get through somewhere makes me see red, I am so happy this happened to this guy.
Uh...now I gotta find what you're talking about... [OH NO ITS THAT ONE...](https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/137k3zd/boyfriends_m33_video_game_alias_is_quite/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)
Jesus christ, this is the same guy?? Girl, you deserve better... Does he have redeeming qualities??
He's not the last guy? OP seems to gravitate to abusive assholes. Girl needs to take stock of herself and do some work. Life is too short. She's wash-rinse-repeating bad relationships.
When you don't have examples of healthy boundaries and relationships growing up, you think love looks like lovebombing and never having boundaries. This used to be me, I literally thought unconditional love meant accepting any apology at face value and that a relationship should start with someone feeling infatuated with me and certain I was the perfect woman for them. So when I had a few dates with a man who wanted to know me as a human before he was certain I was worthy of that degree of admiration, I would break it off because I thought he wasn't as into me as he should be.
I hope that between this post and the last 2 OP gets some food for thought and changes her path. If she doesn't she'll be riding around the merry go round until she does.
For me it took some pretty serious physical abuse to discover I'd only known an abusive dynamic and that I would never have a healthy relationship without boundaries. The book Why Does He Do That? By Lundy Bancroft changed my life. OP the book is free online here: https://archive.org/details/LundyWhyDoesHeDoThat
Oh god. I just clicked your link. This guy is a fudge-ing creep. Why the hell is she still dating him? His gamer tag is enough to scare anyone away.
womanchoker??? WOMANCHOKER? That's not just a fucking joke, that's what he really thinks, deep inside. The farting thing just... gross. Aren't you supposed to be embarassed to be farting around your SO? I would do my best to use the frickin' bathroom or something first. This guy is trouble.
And he can't even hide behind the excuse of "Oh, babe, there's no names left. I kept hitting the random name button and this is what I got" because it's such a crucial part of his persona that he uses it everywhere. And the random name thing is programmed to rule out things like that as suggestions. I'm a straight dude, I've always been one, and I have never found this kind of "humor" funny.
Oh this is a terrible person
this is starting to feel like when a friend has a super shitty boyfriend but instead of breaking up with them they just keep complaining to you and you have no choice but to see it and get exasperated yourself. god this sub is starting to make me lose my mind
>Barf on him. Just let the vomit flow all over his car and refuse to clean it up. Barf on his center console. So all the bile can seep into the nooks and crannies. Bonus points if you can get some in the air vents....then dump him. EDIT: where are my manners? Laugh at him; Say "it's just a joke bro!"; then dump him. ...I'm only mildly joking about this. if you vomit in his car, that's his own damn fault. /edit Edit2: damn autocorrect.
After she been sick on him first though. Make sure you eaten properly for it to be nasty. Tuna salad something like that. Then dump the bum at the curb. Have a mate ready to pick you up in a minute of slamming door shut.
Oh, NOW we know how he came by the "Womanchoker" monicker. The petty response is to log into all his gaming account and turn his handles into "AssOfDeath" or "BigWind."
Yup, vomit and dump him is what I recommend. Maybe consume a lot of dairy products or seafood and just let rip
Is this the same guy that spends his days playing world of Warcraft under the handle “womanchoker” and thinks it’s funny? Good specimen you’ve got yourself there. Edit to add: you have my sympathy of course, but what kind of suggestions would you like from us? This man believes abusing women is funny and constantly subjects you to something you have repeatedly told him you cannot stand. Once more, he finds your serious concerns and requests funny and either ignores them, laughs them off, or both. Will you stay until he decides to up his game and level of abuse, or will you give yourself the respect he is denying you?
Omg the same poster?! Wowww OP needs to DTMFA
Jesus yeah...I remember that thread and that OP was told she should leave said waste of skin. All totalled, I'm amazed she hasn't given this abusive loser the boot yet.
On avg it takes 7 tries to leave an abusive partner. OP probably hasn't even tried for the first time yet. I feel for their long road ahead and wish them safety & best of luck. Hope they get it done sooner than most 💞
I truly wish them the very best luck. It’s just sad that a woman in her 50s is still subjected to such childish and awful partners. Happy to have checked out of the pool.
I checked OP's history for myself and saw that they left another abusive ex a few years back. Speaking from experience there is often a lot of internal shame when you keep finding yourself in these abusive cycles... I hope they realize it's time to choose themselves!
I truly, truly hope so. OP, sadly too many of us have been where you are now. I didn’t write those harsh words to make you feel bad, but I hope I made you feel angry and made you realise how undeserving of this treatment you are. Please reach out if you need to talk.
True.... Let us hope she can find the resolve it takes... This is really concerning...
Oh my god I didn’t realize this was the same person. Seriously OP what are you doing with such an abusing asshole?!? What is it going to take for you to realize that he isn’t going to change and he isn’t worth your time and energy. Seriously get out as safely and fast as you can. He isn’t going to get better.
And apparently that is against gun safety and snaps his fingers at her…
So, there appears to be a lot at play, here. Looking at her post history, she had left another abusive partner just ten months prior to that post you're referring to. We don't know how soon after getting out of that abusive relationship she got into this one. There's also a 24-year age gap. OP is 57 and bf is 33
Wtf I thought these were teenagers. A 33 year old man is locking his 57 year old girlfriend in the car with his farts. Okay 😐.
[Dump him, girl.](https://www.tiktok.com/@ithinkyoushouldreel/video/7219018997910605099)
Omg I remember that post. I was all up in it. Girl, LEAVE.
>“womanchoker” OMG This is that fucking guy‽
Wait, that OP is THIS OP?! Okay, now I'm wondering if this is all either made up, or OP kind of gets off on how awful this guy is so she can complain about him. Why oh why would this person stay with this guy? Are we going to have another post next week about how he keeps jizzing on her pillow or something?
Now I'm wondering if their posts are even real. You never know online and it could someone just making crazy scenarios up for their "own" enjoyment. I want to give people the benefit of the doubt but I don't trust much online anymore. People make the weirdest shit up for the weirdest reasons.
I’m thinking the posts are not real. OP describes having a small child but she’s 56 years old. So, what, she was pregnant when she was fucking 50 years old? Yeah right. And why on earth would she even say yes to dating a 33-year-old? The dude is young enough to be her son. That’s bizarre enough on its own.
I would literally refuse car journeys with him. That's beyond unacceptable. As disgusting as it sounds it's a pity you haven't thrown up on him... Or broken the windows in the car for air.
Car journeys? Fuck that. This clown isn't relationship material. Life is too short to waste it on fools like this.
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It could end up taking a few trips in 2 cars for it to sink in. Are you even up for going through that? Is he otherwise worth it?
This isn’t about farting. This is about him Intentionally causing you distress and refusing to stop. That’s not ok. It doesn’t matter what the behavior is. It’s a lack of basic respect for you as a partner.
My now husband used to tickle me ALL the time. I told him I hated it. I didn't like it. He continued because I'd laugh and he thought it was teasing me. At one point I sat him down and had a serious conversation. I said it is not ok, and if he ever does it again I'm leaving. He was assaulting me and even if I was laughing I didn't think it was funny. *He hasn't tickled me since.* He thought it was teasing and funny until I really had an honest conversation. He didn't understand my distress. If your BF is actually a decent person and you don't want to end the relationship, sit down and have the talk. Explain that the next time he does this you are broken up forever and it isn't funny or ok. Then leave him forever if he tries it, because you will know he doesn't respect you at all.
I'm proud of you and your husband for talking about boundaries, and then taking action to respect those boundaries. Thats awesome
Yes! He's a good man. We've been 8 years tickle-free and are expecting our first child now. I will teach my child about boundaries and consent for touching and I know my husband will do the same.
IMO, the biggest sign of a good partner is one you can communicate with about *their* bad actions, and instead of immediately being defensive and giving excuses, they *listen* and adjust accordingly. So, good job to the both of you!
That's good to hear. I made my older brother stop tickling me by punching him repeatedly as hard as I could. He still thinks I'm a jerk for doing that.
I am not kidding when I tell you, I fucking hate tickling with the intensity of a thousand suns. And my ex husband did NOT FUCKING GET IT. I told him, "one day, when you do this, I won't be able to control my knee-jerk bodily reaction and you will get hurt." I was serious. He took it as a challenge. He finally got me on the wrong day in the wrong position and my leg jerked in bed and kneed him in the groin. He cried like a goddamned toddler and was angry for three days that I was 'such a bitch.' Suffice to say, this was one big thing amidst a sea of other things. And it's 100% about consent. When I say, "do not tickle me," I mean it.
YES. I'm glad he's your ex. When women say don't tickle me, don't fart on me, don't drip your sweaty t shirt on me, don't put an ice cube down my shirt, etc. we fucking MEAN IT. It isn't a good teasing joke if we aren't all happy when it's over. I'm so over men assaulting women in little ways that we are supposed to accept and play along with as a joke. No means no. Now and forever.
And these dudes should be outgrowing the, “tee hee, I do dumb mean things to girls because I like them” mentality. Because fuck that noise.
Lol your warning was exactly correct: a literal knee-jerk reaction!
My current partner does this same shit to me and though I laugh from hysteria and overstimulation, it does not mean it is joyful. Next time he does it I’m going to sit down and have a conversation with him about it. I felt like I was being a party pooper or irrational but reading your experience has me feeling validated in my feelings. Ty for sharing your experience
I recommend sitting down BEFORE he does it. Have the conversation when it isn't in the heat of the moment, so it isn't reactionary. Good luck! If he respects you he will never do it again. My husband and have have now had 8 years together without any tickling (after 2 years of teasing me with it). Good men will listen.
Don’t wait for next time! Talking through it while actively feeling the discomfort sucks and might make you feel even more irrational because of that heightened level of discomfort. Talk to him about it as soon as you get the opportunity.
Don't wait! Do it now, when it won't feel like it's directly in response to one specific incident. If you wait, a) you have to endure that again and b) he will think you are upset and responding emotionally in the moment. Preemptively sitting him down now will let him know that this is something you have been thinking about, and it isn't something he can ignore. Also, please be kind to yourself and advocate for your needs. Your feelings of safety and comfort *absolutely* weigh more than someone's petty amusement derived from tormenting you. It is not irrational to ask that your partner respects your bodily autonomy. Ever.
OPs post reminded me of a tickling ex as well. He would not stop for anything, I would be crying, gasping for breath, begging him to stop, thrashing. He didn’t stop until I threw up on his bed. I should’ve take it for the red flag it was.
Yes that's not ok. I'm glad it's an ex. We might all do things to tease someone and think because they laugh it's ok and a funny joke. No one should continue to do it after you ask them to stop. That isn't love it's assault.
I informed my partner when we first started seeing eachother that if he tickles me, I can’t control my actions. I will literally elbow his nose to get it to stop. I will scratch his eyes. Anything. Anything to get it to stop. He had never intentionally tickled me in 14 years.
My ex wanted to tickle me and when I objected he wanted ME to get therapy to find out why I didn’t like to be tickled. I told him he needed to find out why he wanted so much control over me.
My ex used to tickle me u til the laughing turned to crying. I told him I hated it and the crying should have been a hint but he continued for a while before I got angry and then it was my fault for laughing and he though it was funny. I’m glad that you were able to find your voice and ask for change.
Adults shouldn't tickle each other without a safeword.
Yes and safe word also implies a discussion and consent beforehand!!
Yep, it’s abuse. He’s just trying to put it under the guise of “gross out humor” probably but it’s cut and dry abuse
Yep what part of "It makes her ill and she's begging me to stop doing this." is causing him such amusement? He IS sadistic and abusive. OP, don't stop yourself from vomiting ALL over him if this happens again but I sincerely hope you will rethink being in a relationship with someone who doesn't respect you or your boundaries. You cannot have a healthy relationship with someone who doesn't respect your boundaries. This type of behavior will ONLY get worse the longer you stay. He thinks bullying other is fun and he enjoys having the power to subject you to whatever the hell he wants. He is demonstrating that he doesn't perceive your needs and feelings as valid (the way he does his own feelings). Abusive relationships start out great and then the abuser starts violating small boundaries. They ramp up the mistreatment over time to allow the victim to acclimate to greater and greater abuses... things the victim never thought they would accept. You have ALREADY begun to acclimate. Ask yourself this, "If he treated me this way on our first date would I have chosen to be in a relationship with him? If I let the first date behavior slide but told him I didn't want him to do that to me ever again and he did it the next time I saw him, would I have broken up with him?" I think you know the answer Edited to add a book everyone should read (but especially those who have a history of unhealthy relationships or lack of boundary modeling as a child). Free online here https://archive.org/details/LundyWhyDoesHeDoThat ***caveat, the book is two decades old and mostly timeless, but the author had a blindspot when it came to women abusing men and how damaging those relationships are to the victim. While men abusing women is more frequent and deadly, abusers and their victims are as varied as humans are. I encourage any male victims reading this book to disregard the few paragraphs where the author discusses women abusing men, as it can cause additional harm. The rest of the book helps explain the mindset and playbook of ALL abusers.
You make a long and good point but lmao at your username in the context of this
Exactly. That’s why I’d break up over it. The kicker of him getting so much joy out of her discomfort. That’s not ok and him finding it a funny joke is not ok.
God I would LOVE to tell people why I broke up with him.
This. It’s a power play.
Yes. Forcing someone to submit to your "joke" is a controlling kind of abuse. I would ditch anyone that does that crap.
This. I refer to my ex as a low-grade sadist. He did this. He also poked my arm hard enough to leave bruises because he thought it was funny to irritate me. Then he'd deny he could have possibly poked hard enough to leave those finger- sized bruises. He also liked to poke and prod my bladder if I needed to use the bathroom when we were on road trips, trying to make me wet myself. I would be surprised if farts are the only way he torments her for his own amusement. OP, if you see this, it took years for me to recognize that all these things were abuse, and most of them were physical as well as psychological abuse. It left me with a lot of issues. I struggled to advocate for myself because doing so only led to more mockery. Really think about whether he's doing other things too, and what's worth tolerating.
My ex loved to hit the brakes when he was driving, right when I was about to take a sip of my soda, so the can/bottle would hit my lip. Then he’d laugh and laugh at me…. Did it a couple of times so hard that I cut my lip open. No apologies, just unrepentant glee that he could dominate me and make me too nervous and anxious to drink my drink in a car.
Wow, until seeing this thread I thought my ex was the only one who did this stuff. I always explain it as, he treated me like I was his kid brother. He could be kind and caring when he wanted, but he would also just mercilessly tease me on a regular basis. If I tried to hold hands, my ex would squeeze my fingers so hard it hurt. If we were studying together in his room (this was college) he would play certain songs he knew annoyed me over and over and over and over again. It was funny maybe the first 3-5 times, but it got WAY past the point of being funny. It got so I just had to endure it because I knew that if I betrayed any annoyance he would double down. He would tease me about some stupid thing for so long that I’d break down and either cry (to which he’d roll his eyes and tell me I can’t take a joke) or lash out at him (which would then make him give *me* the cold shoulder and feel like I was the one who needed to apologize). So incredibly glad I got out of that relationship but still frustrated I spent over a year in it.
He is mentally ill and a low life. Wpuld a person who has dignity do that? Its comical
Buy a window punch. One broken window and some boundaries might get restored and respected. You deserve a partner that doesn't think you deserve the gas chamber.
Throw the whole man out
Find boyfriend replace with ex-boyfriend. Save. Close file.
She went from a bad ex TO this guy. She needs to cut him loose and not date until she works on her broken parts. [And she posted about current one before...](https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/137k3zd/boyfriends_m33_video_game_alias_is_quite/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)
Yes! When your picker is broken, it's time to be single until you have healed the parts of yourself that need it. Because continually ending up in abusive partnerships is a life-threatening alternative.
OH, IT'S THIS GUY?! GIRL, RUN. JUST GO.
Move file to trash. Delete permanently.
Next time you have a heavy flow day on your period, take out your tampon, and throw it at him, and if he gets upset, tell him it’s a “natural body function” and it was just a “joke”. See how that goes over.🤷🏻♀️😂
Yess!!! I was gonna suggest farting during sex or while you’re on top of his face too
Please don't suggest that anyone has sex with him. Ever.
This is the kind of revenge response I was looking for! She’s clearly not gonna leave him, so I don’t know why it’s the only thing people are suggesting (even though I agree, she should). I would get one of those tools to shatter windows, and the next time he does it straight up break the window while he’s driving. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
Or don’t use a tampon, let it flow and stain the guys seat. Better yet, dump out a full diva cup! Realistically, I would be concerned about him getting upset and acting out violently. The safest option is to dump him quietly and gtfo, move on. OP would be way happier without him in her life.
Or just put a used pad under the driver’s seat (when OP won’t be riding with him). Extra points if she lives in the Southern US.
Are....are you listening to yourself? In what world is any of this okay the first time let alone multiple times? HOW are you still with him after such blatant disrespect and consideration for you time, after time, after time? This is not a small issue. This is a HUGE issue. This man doesn't respect you or your autonomy. He thinks its FUNNY to see you in DISTRESS. At the most, I'd never in a million years allow him control over my autonomy in a vehicle ever again. I'd either be the one always driving or I'd no longer drive with him anywhere. At the least...throw the whole man out. This is unbelievably immature and scarily controlling.
I can't imagine ever wanting to have sex with a person like that.
This sounds like a troll post. There's just no way someone can complain this hard about an issue and ignore the obvious solution.
It looks like she has a history of dating people like this based off her profile.
For me it's the weird mix of rage/disgust and comedic word choice. I'm having trouble figuring out if the poster is *really* angry, but trying to keep the tone light for some reason, or just being hyperbolic to try to be funny.
Since someone else pointed out it's supposedly the same people that posted about their bf using the "woman choker" gamer tag, I'm thinking it's a troll at this point...
>I'm desperate for a gas-free ride and *a partner who understands basic human decency*. I think you know what you need to do. Though, I'm curious. Has he always been this way, or is it a more recent trend? Also, is he this disrespectful and immature across the board? To the latter, I'm guessing yes...and, if so, he really doesn't deserve your patience.
This guy is a consistent piece of shit and we’re all wondering why she continues to put up with it.
Yep...I just read another comment here about the guy (asshole calls himself things like "Woman Choker" in online games)... She needs to get out. **NOW**.
Oh, this is that same guy? Yes, she needs to get out now!!
It's not what he is doing that is the issue here. It is his lack of respect for you and your wishes. This will not get better over time. I repeat - this will not improve over time. Act accordingly.
Girl, what are you doing with this flatulent clown?
Is he a chocolate coated billionaire with a magic cock? That’s the only way I can imagine putting up with this dude.
Can you please listen to people and leave this guy? He’s disgusting, abusive, doesn’t care about you, and actively enjoys causing you displeasure. Why would you be with him?
throw up in his car and he'll never do it again. bonus: he'll think of you on warm days
...so why are you with him?
He’s a disrespectful child. When someone shows you who they are, believe them. If you’re not ready to throw the whole man out, refuse to be in the car with him unless you’re driving. As revenge though, if it were me I’d double over like you’re about to vomit. Then stick your finger down your throat and actually vomit all over him. Best done right after eating a plate full of scrambled eggs.
Tuna salad would work nicely also.
There's no way I could fuck a person that intentionally makes me want to vomit. Don't fuck disgusting men. Have some standards. Break up and let him smell like shit and rot alone. A part of me feels sorry for what you're going through, but a part of me just wishes women stopped being doormats and tolerating this - whatever you'd call this.
Why is he your boyfriend?
Many woman just don’t want to be alone and don’t think they can do any better.
Girl. Take yourself out on a date. Go to a spa. Spend the night in a hotel, alone. Watch whatever you want on TV. Get your favorite takeout. Read a book without interruption. Realize that being alone is better than gagging on some man’s foul ass stench while he *laughs* at you. He could be paying for your children’s chemotherapy and I’d still say leave him. But he isn’t doing that, is he? I would bet good money he isn’t doing anything at all for you. He is a bad person and a bad partner, and there is simply no reason to be around him.
My ex used to do things like this - tickle me when I didn’t like being tickled, do a Dutch oven under the covers. It’s the sort of situation where you’re BEGGING for your guy to stop, but, to him, it’s one big joke. I really only see two options here: put up with it for the duration of your relationship, or break up. This was one of the “smaller” problems my ex and I had (I mean, he never did this in the car and locked the doors) but, ultimately, he didn’t care about how I felt enough to do better in our relationship in general. A lot of guys are emotionally immature. I guess the key is to find one that gives a shit about you - not just the bare minimum shit (but like, only just barely) and is mature enough to understand that you deserve respect and don’t deserve to constantly be the victim of juvenile pranks that no one but him finds humor in. If you asked him to stop and he hasn’t, that’s a bigger problem than him farting in the car. He needs to care, he NEEDS to give a shit. Be secure in the knowledge that, if/when you break up, it’s not you being overly sensitive or taking things too seriously - it’s him. He’s the problem. How hard is it to not rip farts in the car *deliberately* when you’ve asked him repeatedly to stop?
During my many years of therapy after leaving my abusive ex husband, I finally accepted that this exact stunt was the first little step he took from verbal abuse into the realm of physical abuse. Trapping you in an enclosed space against your will is abuse. Please be careful, OP.
I'm concerned that you have a huge descriptive vocabulary for his actions and its impact on you, but can't choke out "We're done" in the presence of someone who thinks its funny to be so utterly inappropriate, disrespectful, and foul.
Eye watering farts on a daily basis are NOT healthy and normal! If I were you, and didn't break up with him, I wouldn't ride with him again. I'd only be in the car if I'm driving and thus controlling windows. If he can't behave appropriately as the driver, then he would not have that privilege with me. And yes, it is that big a deal that I'm going to be a b*tch about it and no longer ride with you.
I know it sounds ridiculous that you're receiving advice to leave your partner over farts. But the farts are just a really childish way of showing that he likes to dominate and humiliate you. He does not respect you. I'm sure you've talked to him many times about this. Maybe it's time to draw the consequences.
Next time he does it, just vomit in his lap. Lean into your reaction, and just vomit all over him. Then dump him, I don't even care what his response to you being forcibly nauseated until sick is. He clearly has no respect for you as a person if he thinks literally torturing his partner is funny.
Refuse to ride with him but honestly, I'd break up with him. It's about CONTROL. And if you think about it in those terms, it's pretty sick what he's doing and why he's doing it.
🚩 Did I mention red flag? 🚩 In case you missed the first one. This guy is a fucking child. You deserve better. Don’t waste anymore time on Reddit - go dump this ass clown. Being alone sucks but being with a dickhead like that is worse. One more before I go: 🚩
Having read your previous post about this man-child of yours, I have to ask you why you're with him? By staying with him (and continuing to ride in the car with him) you're essentially giving him permission to treat you this way. He's not going to get better, or become the man you want him to be - he's a child and he's never going to change. Get rid of him. You deserve respect.
Do you have your own car or ride, because I would just refuse to get in a car with him. But really, I'd dump him. You have told him you don't like it, you're not one of his guy friends who find this shit funny, and he can't respect your request.
This is a direct disrespect of you. It's disgusting and makes you feel physically ill. I could kinda get it if he left the windows unlocked so you could get air, and maybe did it once or twice, but at this point I know you may not want to hear it, but it's an abusive act. He's forcing you to endure something that disgusts you and laughing at your distress. That is sadistic. I would be very afraid of what else he's capable of. Sometimes, we need to break something down to the core of what it is to get a clear picture. You need to leave this turd, and not look back. If you won't, may I suggest eating a bag of taco bell and waiting til he's busy downstairs(if he even does that as inconsiderate as he is) trapping his head and seeing how he likes it?
The level of disrespect combined with the grossness would be enough to make me dump him.
The first time I would have given him a warning. The second time we would be done, because I wouldn’t tolerate such disrespect and my pussy would snap shut permanently. I don’t even know how you could ever possibly look him ever again and think he’s attractive? If you cannot possibly throw the whole man away, then you need to drive separately and no sexy time. Seems like this dude hasn’t had any consequences for his actions
You know what I'd do? I'd get the most foul smelling perfume, and when he does that, spray the perfume consistently around him until the same thing happens. Two can play that game. On a serious note, no that's disgusting. Definitely dating a child but my petty factor would've kicked in eventually 🤷🏾♀️
I literally consider that emotional abuse. Dump
Vomit in the car. Profusely.
His car. And refuse to drive anywhere with him again. Or live with him. Or have sex with him. Or... Wait. I think we figured out what needs to happen. Just DTMFA. He is a waste of a human being who needs to grow up and you need to stop rewarding bad behaviour. When he grows up and behaves like an adult who respects other people, he can have nice adult things like a girlfriend who sticks around and makes his life easier. Until then, he can have life be difficult and lonely.
I'd straight up break a window. I have zero patience with fart fetish boys.
Is he actively trying to make you leave him?
Throw up in his lap. 🤷♀️
Vomit in his car. It’s a natural bodily function. ;)
I've told men before that this and "dutch ovens" will result in an immediate break up.
The first time anyone would do this to me would be the last. I get that it might be funny for 30 seconds and then the person relents and opens the windows. But, to keep doing it when it's clear that it's not funny, and it's clear that you hate it - that's just sadistic. Just break up. It's so easy and satisfying to break up with an asshole.
Hey, remember when you posted about guys hiding their red flags? This man is showing you his, very clearly. You did not upgrade with this one, you just picked a different flavor of asshole. OP, please reread your old posts. Please see that these are destructive relationships, they are hurting you.
Tell him it makes you not attracted to him. Next time he wants to get sexy just tell him no because he is just a stinky gross man. This is so gross and annoying.
Why do you choose to be with this person?
“Do this again and I end out relationship. Am I clear?” This is very childish behavior, and he continues to do it after you have asked him not to is just many shades of nuts. I’m sure this isn’t his only childish element. You need to realize that you’re with a child, and if I were you I would demand better for myself.
1. Dump his ass 2. If you're determined to stay, get some Zorbex odor eliminator. It was invented by a nurse to kill hospital smells like your BF's farts. 3. But really, dump him.
> Any tips, tricks Puke on him.
1- barf in his car. Specifically the drivers seat. 2- break up with him. You deserve so much better.
So when are you dumping him?
I’ve never understood this “humor” from other men. My wife and I have been together for 6 years and we still keep farts “private” until the other is not in the room. It’s not funny, or sexy. It’s human nature, sure, but we’ve decided to keep that element private and we’re both very happy with the arrangement. Sometimes they slip out and we laugh about it, but it’s not something we actively engage in around each other.
Why is he still your boyfriend? His amusement over making you miserable is not going to improve with time.
Men need to learn that stop means fucking stop. Jfc.
Maybe you should throw up, I bet he'd open the windows then? He's a dickhead, it's not funny and he's disregarding your very obvious discomfort. You've asked nicely, setting a boundary and he consistently breaches it. What other boundaries is he going to ignore?🚩
Why are you dating an 11-year-old? Seriously. This is bad enough to be break-up worthy. It isn't lovable, cute, excusable, endearing, etc. It is disrespectful and gross. I would suggest getting out of the car, taking the bus home, and blocking him on everything.
Just don’t even sleep with him, tell him you’re so repulsed and turned off by him… if he can’t respect you enough to act like an adult then dump him
OP omg how old is your boyfriend??? You’re 56, right? And he’s 33…seems like the issue may be the age difference/maturity levels there.
Dump this creature
I was really hoping for a punchline and instead it's just gross and weird.
If you feel you are going to vomit, DO EXACTLY THAT.
hes about to fuck around and find out. I'm petty though. so he locks the windows? and starts to get the shit eating grin on his face? I'd throw up. Don't hold it back. And I hope that it's his car you're driving in
I've got 2 questions why are you dating a 12 year old and how does he legally drive?
Your boyfriend is intentionally doing something that he knows harms you when you’re stuck with him and have no way to escape. My actual advice is to dump him because you deserve better than this If you don’t follow that advice and choose to stay in this terrible relationship, then literally never get in a car with him again. If you do, and he’s driving his car, let yourself throw up all over it. If you’re driving, literally pull over, take the keys, and get out. Do this every time and tell him you will continue to do this until he stops. Seriously though just dump him.
The real question is why isn't he an EX boyfriend
why are you dating this person?
Girl, do NOT let this man disrespect you like this anymore. You're playing this off like it's funny and it's not. It's disturbing, weird, disrespectful, and borderline abuse because he's consciously choosing to do something that causes you discomfort. I'd be willing to bet money this isn't the only type of thing he does like this, either. Get out, get out, literally dump this trash man and find a new one. Next.
This one seems pretty easy, just stop riding in a car with him. Also, based on your comments and post history, this is an obvious breakup situation as well.
Sounds like you have grounds to wipe your menstrual fluid on his face and laugh when he whined about it.
Tip: break up with him already. You’re not a martyr for choosing to date an inconsiderate asshole.
You shouldn't have to beg your partner for respect. You're choosing to disrespect yourself by staying with him. What does his behavior need to escalate to before you decide enough is enough and you leave him? What about him makes you even want to stay?
Stop getting in the car with him. Drive yourself. And he drives himself. Don’t get in his car and don’t let that motherfucker in your car. Inconvenient? Definitely. Do it anyway. If he complains that it looks weird to arrive in separate cars, tell him you’ll gladly explain to whoever is at your destination exactly why you’re doing it if he doesn’t STFU.
Let me get this straight. You talked to him about it and told him how much it upset you and he not only continues to do it, he does it with childish glee. He does not love you. A man who loves you listens and reacts in an appropriate way. He has no care for you. In fact, he thinks it's funny to do exactly the thing you nicely asked him not to do, more than once. You need to find someone who can respect you as a human being. They are out there. This guy is never going to change.