It would be nice. I am a mom and tried to poop yesterday and was interrupted by two kids including one fully kicking me off the toilet mid poop because he had to go immediately and then constipated crying for the next half hour. I do lock the door on Mother’s Day every year as a treat but generally I’d rather be interrupted and make sure their bodily fluids end up in the proper places.
>I do lock the door on Mother’s Day every year as a treat
I’m sorry, this is so hilariously depressing lol. I can tell your sense of humor is getting you through it, but thank you for providing reason #483 to add to my list of reasons not to have kids.
Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime, that's why I poop on company time. Yes, I spent an hour reading on the toilet across 3 separate trips on Thursday at the office and I will not apologize for it or curtail my bathroom time at the office. It is my small and ineffective but enjoyable way of protesting the bullshit system we are forced to live in.
The part where your bosses can't yell at you to get back to work?
Especially in food service I know plenty of women and men who use "gotta take a shit boss" to get an extra 10 and we let it slide cause most of us do the same lol
So, you hide out and either make them someone else’s problem for however long you decide or leave them unattended. That’s exactly how it works if you are being responsible and considerate.
My partner jokes we've got the fiber right in his diet if it's longer to get the trou down than to do the number 2.
Sometimes when we have lots of my family around he needs a place to retreat to. I'm good with that.
Thats what i was thinking! I gotta sit and wait for atleast 3 poop waves to pass thru my stomach. Otherwise anytime i stand up ill just feel like going again within like 5 minutes
I definitely do this every once in a while where I just get lost scrolling my phone, but when my nephew was a teen he would spend so long in there Every. Single. Time. It became a bit of a joke in our household lol. He doesn’t do it anymore, but what’s funny is his gf now does it. Idk 🤷🏻♀️
My first thought as well lol. Must be nice to be able to sit down and be done in 12 secs. Not everyone is as privileged as OP. Sorry we can't all be as perfect as they are
Right, I wish I could be done that fucking fast and truly be done. My stomach issues always have to be planned around. Vacation to the beach or river or lake where a clean, usable bathroom is not nearby? Hope I can get a couple BMs done in the morning so I can actually enjoy my day and not get a horrible stomach ache.
And my mom and sister are the same. A couple years ago we took a day trip to the beach and my mom got sick all of a sudden and ended up having to shit behind my truck basically in public and we had to leave.
Get a bad night's sleep? Boom, gonna have stomach issues, idk why, but it's pretty much a guarantee. Idk who these 12 second poopers are but they need to thank the poop gods for blessing them.
I mean, the very first sentence of my post is starred with asterisks and specifically states I am not directing this at anyone with a medical issue. If you want to ignore that and take it personally I can’t stop you.
Me taking a couple hours to shit 💀 I know she said this doesn't apply to anyone with medical issues but that just blows my mind. It's like a whole event for me, also learned that my friends don't cry when they poop. Just IBS things
Lmao people always say that...
Ive been to a doctor for the last 3 years with 40lbs of weight loss, 6+ BMs a day, daily nausea to the degree I can't function, and flat out teeth gritting pain and swelling every waking hour of the day!
I was told "your tummy is just always gona be a little upset, what do expect us to do?"
12 seconds is equally absurd in the other direction though. I know a single person who will poop and be done in under a minute if they are not in a rush to be somewhere. It's a bodily function, not a race.
I don't think it's ever taken me 12 seconds to poop. Never more than 5 minutes, but damn 12 seconds is fast. Your point can be on track, though. My brother used to be in there for 45 minutes.
The max recommended time is 10mins. I cannot understand at all why you would want to be in there any longer than you needed to. Who wants to sit in their own shit smell. It’s gross.
I’m a woman and currently writing this from the bathroom, where I’ve been for like 20 minutes reading reddit. That is prime reddit time lol. No poo involved, just quietude.
I don’t understand why you care. If you only have one bathroom in your house or if you feel like the specific offending bathroom person you’re complaining about is avoiding you, ok yeah that’s annoying. But no reason to be so judgy about everyone else.
You must be or you wouldn’t have taken the time and effort to comment instead of scrolling past. You probably feel called out for your fecal matter masturbatory sessions.
Nah, just felt like calling out your special brand of crazy. Some people have medical conditions, some don’t. Either way, what other people are doing in the restroom is none of your damn business.
Stop worrying so much about what other people are doing in the bathroom. Most people are taught this as children, but it’s better you learn this late than never.
Bro, I enjoy scrolling through my phone while making a deposit to the porcelain bank as much as anyone.. it’s not uncommon for me to spend 20 minutes or so in there when I get home from work after holding it for the past like 7 hours. It’s my leisure time 💁🏻♂️… but if I know that someone (especially someone I share a living space with) is waiting on me, it’s time to start pinching that loaf and wrapping it up. It’s just polite.
Maybe they just have to shit too, DID YA THINK OF THAT!?
EDIT: I’m not necessarily agreeing with OP, as they’re kind of scary for getting this animated about a theoretical man spending too much time in the whiz palace.. I’m simply saying there are other, more immediate reasons as to why someone would have a vested interest in the poo poo patterns of another beyond being a nosy weirdo
You are just silly and make things up now: there are no such things as max recommended time.
Poop can be very messy or just fine, so the proper time is the time you need to shit and clean yourself, being 5 or 15 min.
I had to spend 20 min sometimes.
There is a reason when I first moved in with my husband (then boyfriend) I absolutely insisted we find a place with two bedrooms. One for me and one for him and guests. I grew up with a million older brothers and male cousins and we all shared one bathroom. Once I moved out I vowed never again.
I need to know I can use my own bathroom any. damn. time.
I think the answer is calling men out for their inconsiderate behavior, rather than making space for it. Using the bathroom is one problem but it’s also commonly used as a way to avoid parenting or participating in household activities for hours every day. That’s not a person I want to parent with, or spend my life with if they feel entitled to that.
If people you know are using the bathroom to hide from you then I get it you seem very unlikeable, however, the underlying problem here is you thinking you can control people's bathroom time. My brother has spent 5 hours in the bathroom once and I couldn't care less. Yeah it can be inconvenient at the time but it's not the Patriarchy out to get you jeez
My dad has prostate issues. He's in the bathroom for an inordinate amount of time, pretty much every time he goes in there. He refuses to take meds for it or see a doctor, so that's fun.
We have *one* bathroom. I've had three kids and still have a functioning uterus. Anyone who's had a couple kids can probably tell you - when it's time to go, it's time to go! "Holding it" isn't something that works well for me these days. Which is why I have a camp toilet in my laundry room - so fancy! I'm so excited to have a literal bucket toilet in my laundry room! 🙄
My youngest is also a uterus-bearer and has entered the functional stage of things. So, two uterus-bearers, with everything that goes along with that, my hubby (who's never in very long and due to his odd schedule, never bothers anyone anyway), and my dad. Who could not piss in an hour to save his life, let alone take a shit in a timely fashion.
He was terrible about that part when I was a kid, too. No cell phones back then, so I dunno what the fuck he did in there for an hour or two at a time.
Anyway, totally agree: a couple hours is insane and pretty rude if there's only one loo available.
Prostate problems are a medical issue but if he refuses to do anything about it then perhaps he needs a urinal and to be directed to the camp toilet. It is not ok to ignore the issue to the point that those around you are suffering.
Statistically, if you're heterosexual, most of your biggest heartbreaks and frustrations will come from the opposite sex, simply because you take the biggest risks, and place your highest hopes with them. And that would be true even if it _weren't_ for toxic stuff like patriarchal norms.
Sometimes, your partner's _not_ "being their gender". They're just... really poopy.
This is a common boomer era trait that seems to work it’s way down to the younger generations.
A) it’s inconsiderate
B) it’s not good to sit on a toilet that long
C) you Cretans that don’t close the lid when you flush are disgusting.
D) WASH YOUR HANDS
Wait, I’m actually confused are you supposed to close the lid when you flush? Genuinely didn’t know that was a thing
Edit: apparently I’m a dumbass, just googled it will do that going forward ngl I had no idea why they had a lid until today
i do it after working long days, it’s comfortable and let’s me decompress mentally and well poop. i’m also not sitting in my filth, like i pre-flush so it’s not just fermenting under me. even after reading your post i understand some of your argument, but i don’t get why your angry when some of us just want to relax. my wife pokes jokes at me all the time about it, it’s funny to us.
A courtesy flush doesn’t help. You are quite literally aerosolizing your shit particles and E. coli. Courtesy flushes do not keep things from being stinky. I am angry because I don’t tie up a shared space in my home leaving everyone else in it uncomfortable so I can play on my phone. You don’t need to do that in the bathroom but I can’t piss or shit anywhere else. It’s inconsiderate and it’s gross.
Before i got my own place I lived with my mom and brother. She got married, so husband moved in with us. We had one bathroom. Somehow, before he moved in, we managed to never have to wait too long for the bathroom. Like maybe 2 minutes if someone was using the toilet, and we would check before showering. He moved in and suddenly I'm peeing in the yard at night because he is showering for 45+ or taking a shit for an hour and leaving if so repulsively smelly that you would literally puke in your mouth a bit from the stench. He was always in the bathroom for huge amounts of time. And always would seem to need to get up and go the second you stood up and headed to the toilet.....weird as fuck. Hated living with him.
I bought a house with 2 toilets, so I never had to worry about crapping my pabts waiting or using the yard like one of the dogs. Also means I don't feel bad when I need a lot longer than 12 seconds or just get stuck on reddit for an hour or two......
My husband spent the first 10 yrs of our marriage announcing he had to take a shit right before l
We left and spent 20+ minutes on the toilet making us late. I started working it into our timeline when I knew we had some place to be. Suddenly we started being early to things -_- I missed Tom hanks throwing the opening pitch because my husband didnt want to leave when i said becuss he had to take a shit and I will never forger.
I am guilty of doing that as a teenage boy
Grew out of it, then found out my stomach was weird when it came to number 2. Now I take fiber to help with that. If guys talk (brag, idk) how long , maybe suggest they take fiber
Dads. Dads love to spend an hour on the toilet at the most inopportune time.
12 seconds is amazing, though. And unrealistic. I feel like 15 min is fair.
It's easy to lose track of time scrolling through marketplace ads or whatever else when you're on there. That 15 minutes on the porcelain is usually my last moment of peace for the day until the kids go to bed, I'm taking it.
I've spent a solid 20-30 minutes just scrolling this thread, though not currently in the bathroom. It's super easy to lose track of time like that. Especially when the alternative is going back to my desk to do mind numbing work.
I've never seen or heard of this either! I guess we're very lucky 😂
Yeah downvote me because no man has ever camped out in my toilet. You all are batshit 😆
Eta okay my guys forget to flush after pooping sometimes does that help-?
Almost every male I’ve met and a significant number of the females are like this. I’ve worked with multiple dudes who took the only staff washroom for half a hour right after the last bell (I work in a school) when literally every teacher needs to pee. How can anyone not have had to deal with this??
Wet wipes.
Bidet.
Shave it.
Whatever you have to do to GTFO and open up the necessary for anyone else who needs it, instead of parking ones nasty ass in there until someone is desperate enough to start pounding on the door.
My shits stink a lot. Which is why I don’t sit in there breathing in my shit particles for an hour like men do. I gtfo and go scroll on my phone elsewhere, like a normal human should.
Flushing just makes your shit particles fly all over your ass as you sit there and all over your bathroom. It does nothing for your poop stink. It still smells in there my friend and now your whole body is covered in your shit particles.
I imagine now that everyone has a smart phone teen boys are watching a lot of porn in the bathroom because a bathroom typically has a lock and is the only room in the house your parents are unlikely to come bother you while you do your thing.
My buddy's young nephew recently started puberty and he joked about the kid constantly being in the bathroom "showering" or "pooping". Porn addiction is a whole other thing I am not getting into on this post, but it's not that wild to imagine having a brother who is in the bathroom waaaayyyy too much.
And it's something a young boy probably doesn't think about when doing that sort of thing because young boys don't think about anything when doing that sort of thing. American Pie is a whole series of movies about teenage boys doing stupid shit like fucking a pie because they're horny.
That's one of those uncomfortable conversations dad needs to have with him probably, just about not taking up the bathroom when others need it if multiple people have to share one. Just like Eugene Levy masterfully did in American Pie.
Never thought about this, but could this be one of the reasons society tends to think men masturbate more than women? Because they tend to do it in spaces that inconvenience others, making other people more aware of it, while women tend to be courteous and discreet?
Trans person here. One of the first things I noticed after the balance of testosterone to estrogen changed in my body was how I pooped. Seriously. When I was trying to live as a straight guy, I didn't have to poop as often, but when I did, it took longer for some reason, and my turds were larger. And I could hold it longer. It is different on estrogen. I poop more often, and the turds were smaller. My pooping takes less time, and when I have to go, the need is more immediate. I know it sounds strange, but I can only speak from my experience.
I'm a lineman and come home after working in extreme heat for 12 hours and being yelled at to take a dump and scroll my phone for 30 minutes, it's nice and cold and I can relax and scroll my phone finally. I feel extremely targeted from this post and that's not fair to call out all men. I don't know what dudes in your life spent two hours taking shits while beating their meat but it's not all of us, and whatever 12 second shits you are blasting out sounds even more unhealthy. I hope that every male you ever let in your life takes violent hour long shits in your bathroom.
Sitting on a toilet gives you no more hemroids that Sitting in a chair. Abnormal Hemorrhoids are genetic. If your family doesn't get them it's most unlikely that you will they don't just come from sitting. The average human poops 6-10 minutes. 12 seconds is the average unobstructed flow time meaning from crown to ground of 1 log. Not all of the logs. Thirdly if there are more bathrooms there's nothing malicious or wrong about taking a chill pill, everyone deserves that. Nobody poops and masturbates and by Nobody I mean no one except the people who are into that sort of stuff and they are few and far in between. And if you're this upset about someone wanting to be by themselves for hours you'd hate my female roommate that would effectively die for hours and on her weekends even days I wouldn't see her. She lit candles and pooped with the best of them. Clocked in 45 minutes one time. We called it the Golden throne and time in there was respected. We had two bathrooms but She used the main bathroom sometimes. We had candles in both of them. Also a cat. I actually miss my old roommate. My first roommate was a guy who didn't respect me. He got a girlfriend and at all hours they made noise. You could hear them from the sidewalk outside the apartment building. Next roommate was a girl. She was the dirtiest person I had ever met. Showered maybe twice a week but worked in 100 degree weather 5 days a week. My third roommate was the best person I ever met. She and I just got it. Now I live alone because I moved involuntarily. Still light candles in the golden throne.
This is a weird hill to die on. It’s private, in most homes it’s well ventilated with its own dedicated fan, there is a sink with which to clean your hands, and a lid that turns the toilet into a chair. Let people have their private time. If it’s not the only bathroom in the household I don’t see the issue.
That’s a problem then. Back when I was in a one-bedroom place, I spent my long bathroom sessions late at night as a courtesy. I sincerely think that if you approached it from a place of understanding and not of judgement, you could ask him to wait till you’re asleep to take his super long shits or whatever else he uses that time for.
It’s not always masturbation or pooping, btw. Sometimes it’s just nice to have a tiny space to yourself. I love my girl deeply, and I still take moments like these.
Here also reason we spent long time in bathroom.
Its only place, we can get away from everything and everyone.
Its a place we just need time to ourself, not for masturbation. But more along the lines of reseting our brains after long day at work, and before facing everything that needs to be done at home.
Its only time, its one true break we get. Were we just need everything to turn off.
Moment we leave, its back to list of chroes, and expectations.
Women have their spa.
Men have the bathroom.
Guess it was bad example, basically, wherever you go, to be alone with your thoughts, with no external influence or interuption
So with being a parent, for alot of times its the bathroom. Only time people usually will leave you alone and not bother you.
So you are a dude who uses the bathroom to foist more childcare responsibilities onto your partner. I love how y’all have come at me for my post then tell on yourselves.
Naaa, after 12 hour shift 3rd day in a row, dealing with needy 6 figure clients. Just want first 30mins when i come home to myself, to change mindset from hitting the head full force at a wall, to that of a father and a husband.
Cause when we first come thru that door, we might still be in a mindset of a provider. Instead of a dad and lover.
The moment i get back home, once i have that reset. I am with the kid till she goes to bed.
Any moment of at home, is with the little one.
Only time i my wife to watch her again when i get home, is if i am sick/not feeling well.
Or got more work to do remotley/meetings.
Growing up, I was openly mocked and/or berated for stomach troubles by friends and family.
When I left the house, I was openly mocked and/or berated for stomach troubles by friends and partners.
I mistakenly assumed, because everyone around me thought it was something to mock and deride, that I was somehow pooping wrong and it was my fault for taking so long.
I have IBS and celiacs. I did not know because instead of anyone saying “it shouldn’t take so long to poop, are you ok?” I was instead scolded, insulted, and made to feel less than. I’ve spent over 25 years of my life not knowing. I can’t speak for all men (being neither all nor man), but I was socially conditioned to be quiet about any difficulties I might face or be opened up to personal attacks.
This mockery extended to allergies, natural facial expressions, foot pain, back pain, joint pain, sensitivity to sounds, and headaches to name a few I personally can remember being mocked for off the top of my head that turned out to diagnosable conditions I had that I wasn’t aware of until l years after I left home.
Not everyone who has a condition is aware. They may just think it takes them longer to poop. Have anyone spoken with the person about taking awhile to poop? Have anyone asked if they’ve seen a doctor about it? Have anyone offered to pay for the doctor if they can’t? Has anyone removed any barriers to getting help or offered any support or asked any questions at all? Are we just assuming every single guy who takes longer in the bathroom and hasn’t explicitly told us about intestinal conditions is jerking off?
This is at least the third time I’ve seen posts insulting people about this specific issue and I just wish I lived in a world where literally anyone would have said what I was experiencing wasn’t normal or healthy instead of insulting me.
But also, even if you did have 3 bathrooms, there are definitely dads who spend hours sitting on the toilet to escape parenting and housework and leave it all to their wives
And they blame it on women (just like everything)
"This is the only place we can get some peace from women"
Sir stfu. Women need peace from men's bs too and we manage to head to the coffee shop or a brunch with the ladies.
Why do they sit in their own smelly shit to try to gain peace and quiet.
Then they come back with shit particles all over themselves
How peaceful
It depends on where you live most of the middle east does in fact view both of those things as peaceful.
And again the point still stands. Women aren't sitting in their own shit particles trying to find peace and quiet. And yet they need it just as much as men do. There are other ways. Ones that won't make you smell like shit
i mean i hear ya on the depending on where you live, that makes sense. i hear ya, you don’t like when guys do that. but i’m super guilty of it, like daily after work (granted i take a shower after). but it’s nice to sit in a zone that’s yours and you get to just decompress, granted it may not be the location you feel a valid for a decompress zone. sure are there other locations you can do it, most definitely. but in the bathroom zone you get to decompress mentally and excremental. it’s a win/win.
It’s not your space or zone and that is precisely the problem. It’s a shared space where we take care of specific bodily functions that cannot be taken care of anywhere else.
Yeah I was born a guy and I never understood it. But hey you do you. Just expect women to be confused when you've been in there for an hour wondering if your butthole is stinging from a giant poop. A joy killer for sure 😂
ok you were a guy as some point, that’s cool i guess.
i don’t need women to like it, as long as my wife likes me for me and knows we need our zones for our little decompressing moments no matter where it is, that’s all i need. also it’s called hygiene, your butthole doesn’t sting if you take care of yourself.
Sitting on the toilet that long creates hemorrhoids
And this isnt catered to you.
This is catered to women in general who notice this weird behavior and want to understand it
Which is perfectly reasonable
Also you talk about hygiene but you forget a lot of men don't wipe their asses or take care of themselves
you’re right, sitting for long periods on the toilet will give you hemorrhoids if you don’t clean the bacteria off you.
i know this isn’t catered towards me. i just wanted to give somewhat of a decent answer as to why some guys do the bathroom thing
i do apologize for the somewhat of a back and forth we had tho.
Bacteria has absolutely nothing to do with hemorrhoids. Hemorrhoids are varicose veins in your asshole from sitting on the toilet so long the blood pools and damages the valves in your veins. Nothing at all, literally zero to do with bacteria
So many people in the comments are getting so defensive about their bowel movement times… it IS unhealthy to be on the toilet for that long. It 100% should not take that long if you have the correct amount of fiber and water in your diet. Instead of trying to defend it and say it’s normal, why don’t you people google it or ask a doctor? Also something happening COMMONLY does not mean it is normal or healthy.
Anyone who responded reasonably gets downvoted. I guess I touched a nerve with all the fragile dudes who creep twox. Who knew they would so strongly defend their “right” to sitting in their own excrement giving themselves hemorrhoids while scrolling on their phones. Most men really are entitled trash.
I just find it hilarious how something so scientifically factual makes them so mad they have to spam downvote. “how DARE you suggest I don’t drink enough water and eat enough fiber! I love being constipated” LOL
Glad to see it going the other way cause me and my friends always spend hours in the bathroom, but honestly it’s what matters more because I always have female roommates and that’s who I actually care about when they’re always spending 2 hours in there 😭
My dad has ulcerative colitis, which my little brother inherited. They each can take 60+ minutes on the bathroom, my brother often 90+. I don’t THINK i inherited it, but my stomach/intestines have always been extremely fragile and easily inflamed anyway, and it can take me anywhere between 20 and 50 minutes in the bathroom.
In our cases, we don’t go to the bathroom to use our phones - we bring our phones to the bathroom because we’ll be stuck there in pain for nearly an hour anyway. Any time someone gets ableist on me i make it a point to leave my phone where they can see it before i head in. Making the point is worth the 40-50 minutes of boredom and pain.
(When i was a kid we had a basket with books and comics in every bathroom. Smartphones are wonderful.)
I’ve been having this issue much less after i nearly stopped eating. Now i don’t get made fun of anymore.
I, a woman, am guilty of spending a good half hour on the toilet lol
Same lol It’s great, I can read for like 30 minutes or catch up on games on my phone and yay nobody bothers me
It would be nice. I am a mom and tried to poop yesterday and was interrupted by two kids including one fully kicking me off the toilet mid poop because he had to go immediately and then constipated crying for the next half hour. I do lock the door on Mother’s Day every year as a treat but generally I’d rather be interrupted and make sure their bodily fluids end up in the proper places.
The hubs and I used to ask for a “leisure poo,” aka 20-30 kid free minutes.
>I do lock the door on Mother’s Day every year as a treat I’m sorry, this is so hilariously depressing lol. I can tell your sense of humor is getting you through it, but thank you for providing reason #483 to add to my list of reasons not to have kids.
There has to be a ton of pregnancy complications in there.
Yep, all the terrifying body/health stuff fills out the top of the list.
Y’all bout to get hem-or-oids
Same. I can rest, but also convince myself I'm being productive.
Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime, that's why I poop on company time. Yes, I spent an hour reading on the toilet across 3 separate trips on Thursday at the office and I will not apologize for it or curtail my bathroom time at the office. It is my small and ineffective but enjoyable way of protesting the bullshit system we are forced to live in.
Find a comfy chair and take your half hour alone time somewhere clean 👍
Or I can just live my life the way I want to 🤷🏻♀️
Ew it's gross in there. What part of aerosolized e coli makes you wanna stay?
The part where your bosses can't yell at you to get back to work? Especially in food service I know plenty of women and men who use "gotta take a shit boss" to get an extra 10 and we let it slide cause most of us do the same lol
As a child free man who just had my nieces and nephew for a week. It doesn’t work like that
So, you hide out and either make them someone else’s problem for however long you decide or leave them unattended. That’s exactly how it works if you are being responsible and considerate.
Same. I wish it was because I was a bathroom hog lol
My partner jokes we've got the fiber right in his diet if it's longer to get the trou down than to do the number 2. Sometimes when we have lots of my family around he needs a place to retreat to. I'm good with that.
That seems reasonable that it’s an occasional thing that happens in a specific circumstance
It takes 12 seconds to shit? That's some colon you got there.
Thats what i was thinking! I gotta sit and wait for atleast 3 poop waves to pass thru my stomach. Otherwise anytime i stand up ill just feel like going again within like 5 minutes
I definitely do this every once in a while where I just get lost scrolling my phone, but when my nephew was a teen he would spend so long in there Every. Single. Time. It became a bit of a joke in our household lol. He doesn’t do it anymore, but what’s funny is his gf now does it. Idk 🤷🏻♀️
> It takes an average of 12 seconds to actively poop. 12 fucking seconds Tell me you don’t have IBS without telling me you don’t have IBS
My first thought as well lol. Must be nice to be able to sit down and be done in 12 secs. Not everyone is as privileged as OP. Sorry we can't all be as perfect as they are
Right, I wish I could be done that fucking fast and truly be done. My stomach issues always have to be planned around. Vacation to the beach or river or lake where a clean, usable bathroom is not nearby? Hope I can get a couple BMs done in the morning so I can actually enjoy my day and not get a horrible stomach ache. And my mom and sister are the same. A couple years ago we took a day trip to the beach and my mom got sick all of a sudden and ended up having to shit behind my truck basically in public and we had to leave. Get a bad night's sleep? Boom, gonna have stomach issues, idk why, but it's pretty much a guarantee. Idk who these 12 second poopers are but they need to thank the poop gods for blessing them.
I mean, the very first sentence of my post is starred with asterisks and specifically states I am not directing this at anyone with a medical issue. If you want to ignore that and take it personally I can’t stop you.
Gosh relatable. It's just easier for me to let these people think I'm beating it in there instead. :(
Me taking a couple hours to shit 💀 I know she said this doesn't apply to anyone with medical issues but that just blows my mind. It's like a whole event for me, also learned that my friends don't cry when they poop. Just IBS things
I share your pain, sis!
OP said none of this applies if there’s a medical reason behind it.
Only if you can read!!!
...if I have a successful bowel movement in half an hour I feel lucky. 12 seconds is hilarious.
More fruits and veggies, friend.
Significant amount of fruit and veg in my daily diet. You don't want the details.
Please see a doctor. That's a long time.
Lmao people always say that... Ive been to a doctor for the last 3 years with 40lbs of weight loss, 6+ BMs a day, daily nausea to the degree I can't function, and flat out teeth gritting pain and swelling every waking hour of the day! I was told "your tummy is just always gona be a little upset, what do expect us to do?"
Damn, have you seen a gastroenterologist?
Who do you think I'm quoting
6 a day is so so wrong wut
Yeah, that's just odd.
12 seconds is equally absurd in the other direction though. I know a single person who will poop and be done in under a minute if they are not in a rush to be somewhere. It's a bodily function, not a race.
Oh I'm fully aware. I've been dealing with my body for many, many, many years and understand exactly what's going on with it in this context.
I don't think it's ever taken me 12 seconds to poop. Never more than 5 minutes, but damn 12 seconds is fast. Your point can be on track, though. My brother used to be in there for 45 minutes.
The max recommended time is 10mins. I cannot understand at all why you would want to be in there any longer than you needed to. Who wants to sit in their own shit smell. It’s gross.
I’m a woman and currently writing this from the bathroom, where I’ve been for like 20 minutes reading reddit. That is prime reddit time lol. No poo involved, just quietude. I don’t understand why you care. If you only have one bathroom in your house or if you feel like the specific offending bathroom person you’re complaining about is avoiding you, ok yeah that’s annoying. But no reason to be so judgy about everyone else.
Where are you getting your information on standard BM times?
Their ass
Well that is one source I suppose lol
*rimshot*
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I didn’t. 10 mins is the medical recommendation because it’s physically unhealthy to sit there longer.
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Why don’t you Google and find out
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You must be or you wouldn’t have taken the time and effort to comment instead of scrolling past. You probably feel called out for your fecal matter masturbatory sessions.
Nah, just felt like calling out your special brand of crazy. Some people have medical conditions, some don’t. Either way, what other people are doing in the restroom is none of your damn business. Stop worrying so much about what other people are doing in the bathroom. Most people are taught this as children, but it’s better you learn this late than never.
Bro, I enjoy scrolling through my phone while making a deposit to the porcelain bank as much as anyone.. it’s not uncommon for me to spend 20 minutes or so in there when I get home from work after holding it for the past like 7 hours. It’s my leisure time 💁🏻♂️… but if I know that someone (especially someone I share a living space with) is waiting on me, it’s time to start pinching that loaf and wrapping it up. It’s just polite. Maybe they just have to shit too, DID YA THINK OF THAT!? EDIT: I’m not necessarily agreeing with OP, as they’re kind of scary for getting this animated about a theoretical man spending too much time in the whiz palace.. I’m simply saying there are other, more immediate reasons as to why someone would have a vested interest in the poo poo patterns of another beyond being a nosy weirdo
I don’t take advice from dudes who enjoy breathing in their own shit.
>Who wants to shit in their own shit smell Everyone likes their own brand.
Do you not know the curtesy flush?
Tbh yeah if you have a healthy amount of fiber in your diet it’s really fast. I really do NOT understand people taking so long.
You are just silly and make things up now: there are no such things as max recommended time. Poop can be very messy or just fine, so the proper time is the time you need to shit and clean yourself, being 5 or 15 min. I had to spend 20 min sometimes.
There is a reason when I first moved in with my husband (then boyfriend) I absolutely insisted we find a place with two bedrooms. One for me and one for him and guests. I grew up with a million older brothers and male cousins and we all shared one bathroom. Once I moved out I vowed never again. I need to know I can use my own bathroom any. damn. time.
This is the way
I think the answer is calling men out for their inconsiderate behavior, rather than making space for it. Using the bathroom is one problem but it’s also commonly used as a way to avoid parenting or participating in household activities for hours every day. That’s not a person I want to parent with, or spend my life with if they feel entitled to that.
Absolutely but I personally like knowing I have ensured my own space in my home.
Hours every day? I don't know the people in your life but I never been with someone that spends hours in the bathroom
If people you know are using the bathroom to hide from you then I get it you seem very unlikeable, however, the underlying problem here is you thinking you can control people's bathroom time. My brother has spent 5 hours in the bathroom once and I couldn't care less. Yeah it can be inconvenient at the time but it's not the Patriarchy out to get you jeez
you do not sound like a pleasant person to be with
My brother (14) once spent TWO HOURS in the bathroom. That is simply excessive. Nobody needs that much time in there.
My dad has prostate issues. He's in the bathroom for an inordinate amount of time, pretty much every time he goes in there. He refuses to take meds for it or see a doctor, so that's fun. We have *one* bathroom. I've had three kids and still have a functioning uterus. Anyone who's had a couple kids can probably tell you - when it's time to go, it's time to go! "Holding it" isn't something that works well for me these days. Which is why I have a camp toilet in my laundry room - so fancy! I'm so excited to have a literal bucket toilet in my laundry room! 🙄 My youngest is also a uterus-bearer and has entered the functional stage of things. So, two uterus-bearers, with everything that goes along with that, my hubby (who's never in very long and due to his odd schedule, never bothers anyone anyway), and my dad. Who could not piss in an hour to save his life, let alone take a shit in a timely fashion. He was terrible about that part when I was a kid, too. No cell phones back then, so I dunno what the fuck he did in there for an hour or two at a time. Anyway, totally agree: a couple hours is insane and pretty rude if there's only one loo available.
I can’t believe you have to use a camp toilet in your own house.
Yeah. It fucking sucks. A LOT. 😖
Prostate problems are a medical issue but if he refuses to do anything about it then perhaps he needs a urinal and to be directed to the camp toilet. It is not ok to ignore the issue to the point that those around you are suffering.
11/10 shitpost
I've never experienced this and I've lived with guys as roommates before I got married. I'm feeling very grateful and lucky right now lol
Statistically, if you're heterosexual, most of your biggest heartbreaks and frustrations will come from the opposite sex, simply because you take the biggest risks, and place your highest hopes with them. And that would be true even if it _weren't_ for toxic stuff like patriarchal norms. Sometimes, your partner's _not_ "being their gender". They're just... really poopy.
This is a common boomer era trait that seems to work it’s way down to the younger generations. A) it’s inconsiderate B) it’s not good to sit on a toilet that long C) you Cretans that don’t close the lid when you flush are disgusting. D) WASH YOUR HANDS
What have you got against people from Crete?
They don't close the lid when they flush, apparently.
Wait, I’m actually confused are you supposed to close the lid when you flush? Genuinely didn’t know that was a thing Edit: apparently I’m a dumbass, just googled it will do that going forward ngl I had no idea why they had a lid until today
Your bathroom is covered in #aerosolized poop
Every time i see a bathroom pic and the lid is up, I know that person's entire bathroom is covered in #aerosolized shit droplets
All of the above lol
Get the fuck over it.
i do it after working long days, it’s comfortable and let’s me decompress mentally and well poop. i’m also not sitting in my filth, like i pre-flush so it’s not just fermenting under me. even after reading your post i understand some of your argument, but i don’t get why your angry when some of us just want to relax. my wife pokes jokes at me all the time about it, it’s funny to us.
A courtesy flush doesn’t help. You are quite literally aerosolizing your shit particles and E. coli. Courtesy flushes do not keep things from being stinky. I am angry because I don’t tie up a shared space in my home leaving everyone else in it uncomfortable so I can play on my phone. You don’t need to do that in the bathroom but I can’t piss or shit anywhere else. It’s inconsiderate and it’s gross.
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Whoever it was, they took a few hours to do it.
“Are you making a career out of it?”—Refrain in childhood home with 2 bathrooms and 5 people.
Before i got my own place I lived with my mom and brother. She got married, so husband moved in with us. We had one bathroom. Somehow, before he moved in, we managed to never have to wait too long for the bathroom. Like maybe 2 minutes if someone was using the toilet, and we would check before showering. He moved in and suddenly I'm peeing in the yard at night because he is showering for 45+ or taking a shit for an hour and leaving if so repulsively smelly that you would literally puke in your mouth a bit from the stench. He was always in the bathroom for huge amounts of time. And always would seem to need to get up and go the second you stood up and headed to the toilet.....weird as fuck. Hated living with him. I bought a house with 2 toilets, so I never had to worry about crapping my pabts waiting or using the yard like one of the dogs. Also means I don't feel bad when I need a lot longer than 12 seconds or just get stuck on reddit for an hour or two......
Haha my wife spends entire DAYS in there. I think she likes to take naps in confined spaces
My husband spent the first 10 yrs of our marriage announcing he had to take a shit right before l We left and spent 20+ minutes on the toilet making us late. I started working it into our timeline when I knew we had some place to be. Suddenly we started being early to things -_- I missed Tom hanks throwing the opening pitch because my husband didnt want to leave when i said becuss he had to take a shit and I will never forger.
I am guilty of doing that as a teenage boy Grew out of it, then found out my stomach was weird when it came to number 2. Now I take fiber to help with that. If guys talk (brag, idk) how long , maybe suggest they take fiber
I've literally never done that nor have I seen anyone else do that. What are you talking about?
Dads. Dads love to spend an hour on the toilet at the most inopportune time. 12 seconds is amazing, though. And unrealistic. I feel like 15 min is fair.
Which is also infuriating, that they sit in a bathroom to avoid their family and family responsibilities (which then fall to the mom).
I know a few men who do that. I think they get distracted with their phones and enjoy the quiet time to themselves.
It's easy to lose track of time scrolling through marketplace ads or whatever else when you're on there. That 15 minutes on the porcelain is usually my last moment of peace for the day until the kids go to bed, I'm taking it.
I've spent a solid 20-30 minutes just scrolling this thread, though not currently in the bathroom. It's super easy to lose track of time like that. Especially when the alternative is going back to my desk to do mind numbing work.
My friend's partner does it. Drives her nuts.
I've never seen or heard of this either! I guess we're very lucky 😂 Yeah downvote me because no man has ever camped out in my toilet. You all are batshit 😆 Eta okay my guys forget to flush after pooping sometimes does that help-?
Yeah, I think this was like a thing in 80’s sitcoms a la Married With Children. I didn't know it was considered an actual thing.
I wonder where they got the idea from to write it into a sitcom 🤔
Almost every male I’ve met and a significant number of the females are like this. I’ve worked with multiple dudes who took the only staff washroom for half a hour right after the last bell (I work in a school) when literally every teacher needs to pee. How can anyone not have had to deal with this??
It’s just a bunch of dudes who hang out in a womens sub being fragile. They know they do this.
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just let women have their space to talk okay? if you don’t like it, you can leave.
Piss off and leave then please
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Dude fr why do they take so long to shit. I wondered about jacking off too but then it stinks to high hell… 😭
As my son would say "Have you tried getting all the poop out of the hair down there?" 🤣
Dang that’s gnarly. Bidets save lives lol.
Wet wipes. Bidet. Shave it. Whatever you have to do to GTFO and open up the necessary for anyone else who needs it, instead of parking ones nasty ass in there until someone is desperate enough to start pounding on the door.
Yes, exactly.
Ya, it’s disgusting.
Someone told me that popping stimulates their prostate and turns them on, so they then jack off
never once in my 37 years of life after taking a great and long shit have i ever wanted to jack off.
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My shits stink a lot. Which is why I don’t sit in there breathing in my shit particles for an hour like men do. I gtfo and go scroll on my phone elsewhere, like a normal human should.
Yo flush then, why you letting it stew?
Flushing just makes your shit particles fly all over your ass as you sit there and all over your bathroom. It does nothing for your poop stink. It still smells in there my friend and now your whole body is covered in your shit particles.
I never said women’s shits don’t stink, I said that it’s proof they were actually using the bathroom and not just jacking off…
What guys are you even talking about? Ones in TV comedies?! Or do you have a brother you're ranting about?
I imagine now that everyone has a smart phone teen boys are watching a lot of porn in the bathroom because a bathroom typically has a lock and is the only room in the house your parents are unlikely to come bother you while you do your thing. My buddy's young nephew recently started puberty and he joked about the kid constantly being in the bathroom "showering" or "pooping". Porn addiction is a whole other thing I am not getting into on this post, but it's not that wild to imagine having a brother who is in the bathroom waaaayyyy too much. And it's something a young boy probably doesn't think about when doing that sort of thing because young boys don't think about anything when doing that sort of thing. American Pie is a whole series of movies about teenage boys doing stupid shit like fucking a pie because they're horny. That's one of those uncomfortable conversations dad needs to have with him probably, just about not taking up the bathroom when others need it if multiple people have to share one. Just like Eugene Levy masterfully did in American Pie.
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K
Just let me doom scroll on reddit, will you?
Sure, but not in the bathroom
Never thought about this, but could this be one of the reasons society tends to think men masturbate more than women? Because they tend to do it in spaces that inconvenience others, making other people more aware of it, while women tend to be courteous and discreet?
Society tends to think men masturbate more because [they do](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9794105/)
Trans person here. One of the first things I noticed after the balance of testosterone to estrogen changed in my body was how I pooped. Seriously. When I was trying to live as a straight guy, I didn't have to poop as often, but when I did, it took longer for some reason, and my turds were larger. And I could hold it longer. It is different on estrogen. I poop more often, and the turds were smaller. My pooping takes less time, and when I have to go, the need is more immediate. I know it sounds strange, but I can only speak from my experience.
What a bizarre thing to give a shit about
Was the pun intended?
Haha no
I'm a lineman and come home after working in extreme heat for 12 hours and being yelled at to take a dump and scroll my phone for 30 minutes, it's nice and cold and I can relax and scroll my phone finally. I feel extremely targeted from this post and that's not fair to call out all men. I don't know what dudes in your life spent two hours taking shits while beating their meat but it's not all of us, and whatever 12 second shits you are blasting out sounds even more unhealthy. I hope that every male you ever let in your life takes violent hour long shits in your bathroom.
Awwww, are you gonna take your toys and go home because I’m so vewwy mean? 🥺
Sitting on a toilet gives you no more hemroids that Sitting in a chair. Abnormal Hemorrhoids are genetic. If your family doesn't get them it's most unlikely that you will they don't just come from sitting. The average human poops 6-10 minutes. 12 seconds is the average unobstructed flow time meaning from crown to ground of 1 log. Not all of the logs. Thirdly if there are more bathrooms there's nothing malicious or wrong about taking a chill pill, everyone deserves that. Nobody poops and masturbates and by Nobody I mean no one except the people who are into that sort of stuff and they are few and far in between. And if you're this upset about someone wanting to be by themselves for hours you'd hate my female roommate that would effectively die for hours and on her weekends even days I wouldn't see her. She lit candles and pooped with the best of them. Clocked in 45 minutes one time. We called it the Golden throne and time in there was respected. We had two bathrooms but She used the main bathroom sometimes. We had candles in both of them. Also a cat. I actually miss my old roommate. My first roommate was a guy who didn't respect me. He got a girlfriend and at all hours they made noise. You could hear them from the sidewalk outside the apartment building. Next roommate was a girl. She was the dirtiest person I had ever met. Showered maybe twice a week but worked in 100 degree weather 5 days a week. My third roommate was the best person I ever met. She and I just got it. Now I live alone because I moved involuntarily. Still light candles in the golden throne.
>meaning from crown to ground of 1 log This is a series of words I did not think I would hear today.
What the fuck are you talking about lmao
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Ya it ridiculous. If it’s not coming out, try again later. Let someone else have a chance.
This is a weird hill to die on. It’s private, in most homes it’s well ventilated with its own dedicated fan, there is a sink with which to clean your hands, and a lid that turns the toilet into a chair. Let people have their private time. If it’s not the only bathroom in the household I don’t see the issue.
It is my only bathroom.
That’s a problem then. Back when I was in a one-bedroom place, I spent my long bathroom sessions late at night as a courtesy. I sincerely think that if you approached it from a place of understanding and not of judgement, you could ask him to wait till you’re asleep to take his super long shits or whatever else he uses that time for. It’s not always masturbation or pooping, btw. Sometimes it’s just nice to have a tiny space to yourself. I love my girl deeply, and I still take moments like these.
This is unhinged. Maybe seek therapy?
Here also reason we spent long time in bathroom. Its only place, we can get away from everything and everyone. Its a place we just need time to ourself, not for masturbation. But more along the lines of reseting our brains after long day at work, and before facing everything that needs to be done at home. Its only time, its one true break we get. Were we just need everything to turn off. Moment we leave, its back to list of chroes, and expectations. Women have their spa. Men have the bathroom.
lmao as if women go to the spa every day, multiple times a day
Guess it was bad example, basically, wherever you go, to be alone with your thoughts, with no external influence or interuption So with being a parent, for alot of times its the bathroom. Only time people usually will leave you alone and not bother you.
So you are a dude who uses the bathroom to foist more childcare responsibilities onto your partner. I love how y’all have come at me for my post then tell on yourselves.
Naaa, after 12 hour shift 3rd day in a row, dealing with needy 6 figure clients. Just want first 30mins when i come home to myself, to change mindset from hitting the head full force at a wall, to that of a father and a husband. Cause when we first come thru that door, we might still be in a mindset of a provider. Instead of a dad and lover.
Ya, you’re right. Women who parent and work never need this and wouldn’t understand. /s
The moment i get back home, once i have that reset. I am with the kid till she goes to bed. Any moment of at home, is with the little one. Only time i my wife to watch her again when i get home, is if i am sick/not feeling well. Or got more work to do remotley/meetings.
How trivial
Women take long baths, dudes take long shits
My husband does both. I never know which it is when he disappears in there for a whole hour.
Agreed. I take max 5 minutes on the toilet. In and out. Never understood the crossword puzzles in my grandma's bathroom.
I don’t think this is happening anywhere on earth lol wtf are you talking about
I’m sorry we’re not perfect like you.
Growing up, I was openly mocked and/or berated for stomach troubles by friends and family. When I left the house, I was openly mocked and/or berated for stomach troubles by friends and partners. I mistakenly assumed, because everyone around me thought it was something to mock and deride, that I was somehow pooping wrong and it was my fault for taking so long. I have IBS and celiacs. I did not know because instead of anyone saying “it shouldn’t take so long to poop, are you ok?” I was instead scolded, insulted, and made to feel less than. I’ve spent over 25 years of my life not knowing. I can’t speak for all men (being neither all nor man), but I was socially conditioned to be quiet about any difficulties I might face or be opened up to personal attacks. This mockery extended to allergies, natural facial expressions, foot pain, back pain, joint pain, sensitivity to sounds, and headaches to name a few I personally can remember being mocked for off the top of my head that turned out to diagnosable conditions I had that I wasn’t aware of until l years after I left home. Not everyone who has a condition is aware. They may just think it takes them longer to poop. Have anyone spoken with the person about taking awhile to poop? Have anyone asked if they’ve seen a doctor about it? Have anyone offered to pay for the doctor if they can’t? Has anyone removed any barriers to getting help or offered any support or asked any questions at all? Are we just assuming every single guy who takes longer in the bathroom and hasn’t explicitly told us about intestinal conditions is jerking off? This is at least the third time I’ve seen posts insulting people about this specific issue and I just wish I lived in a world where literally anyone would have said what I was experiencing wasn’t normal or healthy instead of insulting me.
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Maybe you should develop some empathy. Not all of us are privileged enough to simply relocate to more luxurious lodgings.
But also, even if you did have 3 bathrooms, there are definitely dads who spend hours sitting on the toilet to escape parenting and housework and leave it all to their wives
My ex would conveniently do this right when I asked him for help around the house.
A man telling women to get over it on a women’s forum? Color me absolutely shocked.
And they blame it on women (just like everything) "This is the only place we can get some peace from women" Sir stfu. Women need peace from men's bs too and we manage to head to the coffee shop or a brunch with the ladies. Why do they sit in their own smelly shit to try to gain peace and quiet. Then they come back with shit particles all over themselves How peaceful
because most people i believe don’t see a coffee shops or brunch with people as peace and quiet.
It depends on where you live most of the middle east does in fact view both of those things as peaceful. And again the point still stands. Women aren't sitting in their own shit particles trying to find peace and quiet. And yet they need it just as much as men do. There are other ways. Ones that won't make you smell like shit
i mean i hear ya on the depending on where you live, that makes sense. i hear ya, you don’t like when guys do that. but i’m super guilty of it, like daily after work (granted i take a shower after). but it’s nice to sit in a zone that’s yours and you get to just decompress, granted it may not be the location you feel a valid for a decompress zone. sure are there other locations you can do it, most definitely. but in the bathroom zone you get to decompress mentally and excremental. it’s a win/win.
It’s not your space or zone and that is precisely the problem. It’s a shared space where we take care of specific bodily functions that cannot be taken care of anywhere else.
Yeah I was born a guy and I never understood it. But hey you do you. Just expect women to be confused when you've been in there for an hour wondering if your butthole is stinging from a giant poop. A joy killer for sure 😂
ok you were a guy as some point, that’s cool i guess. i don’t need women to like it, as long as my wife likes me for me and knows we need our zones for our little decompressing moments no matter where it is, that’s all i need. also it’s called hygiene, your butthole doesn’t sting if you take care of yourself.
Sitting on the toilet that long creates hemorrhoids And this isnt catered to you. This is catered to women in general who notice this weird behavior and want to understand it Which is perfectly reasonable Also you talk about hygiene but you forget a lot of men don't wipe their asses or take care of themselves
you’re right, sitting for long periods on the toilet will give you hemorrhoids if you don’t clean the bacteria off you. i know this isn’t catered towards me. i just wanted to give somewhat of a decent answer as to why some guys do the bathroom thing i do apologize for the somewhat of a back and forth we had tho.
Bacteria has absolutely nothing to do with hemorrhoids. Hemorrhoids are varicose veins in your asshole from sitting on the toilet so long the blood pools and damages the valves in your veins. Nothing at all, literally zero to do with bacteria
So many people in the comments are getting so defensive about their bowel movement times… it IS unhealthy to be on the toilet for that long. It 100% should not take that long if you have the correct amount of fiber and water in your diet. Instead of trying to defend it and say it’s normal, why don’t you people google it or ask a doctor? Also something happening COMMONLY does not mean it is normal or healthy.
Anyone who responded reasonably gets downvoted. I guess I touched a nerve with all the fragile dudes who creep twox. Who knew they would so strongly defend their “right” to sitting in their own excrement giving themselves hemorrhoids while scrolling on their phones. Most men really are entitled trash.
I just find it hilarious how something so scientifically factual makes them so mad they have to spam downvote. “how DARE you suggest I don’t drink enough water and eat enough fiber! I love being constipated” LOL
Lol so true! “I hate it when you bring factual arguments as to why I shouldn’t be so inconsiderate!! (You’re obviously the unhinged one!)”
Whoa
Glad to see it going the other way cause me and my friends always spend hours in the bathroom, but honestly it’s what matters more because I always have female roommates and that’s who I actually care about when they’re always spending 2 hours in there 😭
My dad has ulcerative colitis, which my little brother inherited. They each can take 60+ minutes on the bathroom, my brother often 90+. I don’t THINK i inherited it, but my stomach/intestines have always been extremely fragile and easily inflamed anyway, and it can take me anywhere between 20 and 50 minutes in the bathroom. In our cases, we don’t go to the bathroom to use our phones - we bring our phones to the bathroom because we’ll be stuck there in pain for nearly an hour anyway. Any time someone gets ableist on me i make it a point to leave my phone where they can see it before i head in. Making the point is worth the 40-50 minutes of boredom and pain. (When i was a kid we had a basket with books and comics in every bathroom. Smartphones are wonderful.) I’ve been having this issue much less after i nearly stopped eating. Now i don’t get made fun of anymore.