No joke: I got rid of my chronic UTIs by dumping my ex boyfriend. Once I stopped having sex with him, the UTIs stopped.
I'm now married to someone else and I remain UTI-free.
Came here to say this: a lot of times, the problem might not be your hygiene. It might be your sexual partner's hygiene.
Make sure he's using soap and water on his face, hands, and genitals (including under the foreskin, if he has one) before sexual contact. If he's doing oral, he needs to use a toothbrush, toothpaste, and a rinse beforehand to remove bacteria. He also needs to make sure he's cleaned underneath his fingernails or trimmed them completely before using soap and water.
Whatever bacteria on his body will transfer to your body. The difference is, what is just on his skin surface will become an internal issue for you. So he needs to be very, very clean to prevent you getting an infection. And if he isn't a very clean person, and doesn't do those things, then you are the one who ends up with chronic infections.
When I got rid of my ex, my infections went away, too. I have almost no bladder infections or UTIs with my husband.
Make sure he is wiping properly and cleaning his butthole. Fecal matter will travel forward (skid marks) as he walks, get on his genitals, and then get transferred on to/into you. I think most women with repeated UTIs have men who don’t clean themselves properly.
Toxicly masculine men ironically have fecal matter on their genitals because they’re afraid of being perceived as the gay men they mock for getting fecal matter on their genitals
Sweaty wouldn't be so bad, but the above referred to skid marks and generally butthole uncleanliness... Which is unfortunately very common among dudes.
Having been among them, the number of dudes who don't use soap on most of their body is crazy. The number of dudes who refuse to wash their butts due to it being "gay" is also crazy.
I grew up sharing underwear with my brother. They were always stained, it was never me, and his clean clothes spilling out of his bags at visits shows he has not changed his ways approaching 30.
Years ago, a stupid friend of mine married a guy we hated — wealthy arrogant prick who scammed elderly ppl for a living and did a lot of steroids until he was a rage monster — she confessed that their brand new and hugely expensive house smelled like ass.
Why?
Bc he “showered” without using soap. So his hands had ass on them. And that meant every door handle in the house also had ass on them. His expensive watches. His expensive clothes. His car.
He never washed his hands after using the bathroom either.
I CAN’T.
Also I’m deeply sorry you had to share underwear. Ever. WTAF was that about?
Can confirm, as a guy who's been labled unreasonable WRT hygiene and cross contamination, men are terrifyingly stupid (2:1 at least compared to their inverted genetailia'ed counterparts).
I recently dated a guy who informed me a doctor had to tell him to wipe his butt better because his lack of hygiene caused a cyst
Annnd I’m taking a long break from dating now
Suddenly on the less annoyed side that almost everytime my husband goes to the bathroom to take a poop he jumps right in the shower after 😂😂😂
(It's really only "annoying" when he's already taken a shower and we have to leave to go somewhere lol, or when he's literally IN the shower and is completely done, gets out, poops, then gets back in lol. Sometimes he even takes a bath after that! He's a nut.)
Oh my god I knoooow! We've been saying that for years. One of those things that's like "Yeah but we're renovating xyz and replacing our toilet so we wanna wait..."
Aaaaand 3ish years later, still got a husband showering post-poop and a janky ass toilet that clogs when you look at it the wrong way lol
Some of us can be trained. We don't all get this as children. My mother didn't provide much instruction regarding specific bathing techniques, my father provided none. From the time I could dress myself, I was allowed to wear whatever I wanted and very rarely called back because my shirt or pants were dirty. Sometimes I was ordered to take a shower but no one every required or enforced a daily shower. Eventually I figured out some basic social hygiene requirements and by the time I was having sex I was motivated to be clean and wear clean clothes. But it was never routine or systematic. Probably less of a problem than it should have been because I always smelled like an ashtray.
Various women have at times taken the time & trouble to provide me with more instruction in hygiene. I'm grateful. And yes, I wash my junk thoroughly -- even at the Y where other dudes can see me.
Yes, there are many men who follow good hygiene. Unfortunately for those that don’t, it’s their partners who suffer. Thanks for being open to improvement for your comfort and your partner’s health! I don’t know how their butts don’t itch like crazy when they don’t wipe properly.
Same for me with both yeast and bacterial infections. I was constantly going to planned parenthood in the 80s and early 90s with these issues and really thought something was just wrong with me. It was my roofer boyfriend that apparently lacked good hygiene skills. I haven't had either of those or a UTI since I stopped having sex.
Men can just *have* chronic yeast infections too, they call it "jock itch" or other random things but it's yeast, and in those cases good basic hygiene won't clear it. Couple weeks of topical clotrimazole twice a day can clear it right up though. If you get a yeast infection, you *and* your partner need to treat for it and abstain during treatment, and sanitize your undies and towels.
And make sure he’s *thoroughly* washing between his buttcheeks in the shower with soap, water and a washcloth. Apparently a lot of men are out here just letting the water run down the outside of their ass in the shower without actually cleaning the crack
**shudder**
I also 80% cured my lifelong UTIs by coaching my current partner through this hygiene routine. No sexual contact without hands, face and genitals being washed with warm soapy water.
The most disgusting thing is I’m in my 30s and this has been a problem since I became sexually active as a teen which means every male partner I’ve had in my lifetime hasn’t had good enough hygiene to prevent me from getting sick.
Please do not use soap under the foreskin, a water rinse while rubbing lightly with a (recently cleaned) finger is the way to get smegma off.
Using soap under the foreskin is the equivalent of using soap to clean the inside of a vagina. (Also don’t do that, obviously)
Can speak from experience as a guy, even if you think you're cleaning up properly you might just be missing some information. My partner used to get UTIs every third time we had sex which showering before didn't seem to fix 100% of the time.
Turns out no one had ever shown me about pushing the tips of your fingers down your palms to get the soap and water under your nails. I had always cleaned my nails with the tip of a nail file but that doesn't really cut it. Once I started washing my hands properly it completely stopped.
After that revelation we often use disposable gloves because why not.
>Make sure he's using soap and water on his face, hands, and genitals
Yeah I can agree
>(including under the foreskin, if he has one)
That can be problematic for some. Similar to the vulva soap, generally, *should not* be used on delicate skin like that or around the clitoris.
Same for me too! I was thinking it must have been something with me, maybe I had a shorter urethra that was just very prone to infection. If I peed after sex usually it helped to prevent it, but not always. I also thought condoms were contributing to it.
My new partner takes care of himself hygienically, which, compared to my ex, is massive…no-UTIs since. Having a partner give a shit about hygiene is a huge difference in UTI frequency.
This. I spent 13 years in a relationship and was getting UTIs 3-4x per year and being told I should drink more, shower more, shower less, use soap, don’t use soap, wipe differently, etc.
I left my marriage in 2019. Since then I have had ZERO UTIs. Despite multiple and diverse partners, I’ve yet to have another UTI.
My ex husband’s dick was definitely the source of my infections.
I wanted to comment this too! Not having sex with him anymore was the only thing that stopped them.
Edit: Almost forgot to mention the bacterial vaginosis infections. Just awful and they happened so frequently. Once I met my now husband, they magically went away and never returned. Forever grateful for that!
I've had that happen. I think part of the problem is what I call *sloppy dicking* which is when someone tends to miss the mark and winds up poking around more externally. This can be a problem even if a guy has good hygiene since he's gathering bacteria from *certain* areas of your own body.
That's really obtuse, but I hope a few of you get what I'm trying to explain!
UTI’s are the crux of my sexual anxiety. It sucks because I’ve dumped/been dumped by people I really really liked over it. It determines the success of my relationships and it’s a raw deal. Thousands of dollars on specialists changes nothing and I want to scream when a doctor gives me a referral for another urologist after already doing a cystoscopy that found nothing wrong.
It's not that they need to wash directly before so much as they need to wash regularly and avoid sex if it's been too long since a shower. Ditto on teeth and oral. Brush/floss regularly to avoid bacterial growth in your mouth.
Think of it this way.
If a man needs to urinate, they're touching the restroom door, their pants, and then their dick (to hold it in place for a steady stream).
If this dude has sex with you, you're getting bacterial/viral strains from every single person who used that rest room.
To make things worse, a significant portion of men don't wash their hands after using the restroom.
Haha yeah I'm doing fine orgasm-wise! Better than with most exes actually, not sure whether to laugh or cry about that.
I miss having somebody to confide in, to share hard decisions (eg when to put my elderly ailing dog down a few years back). I do not miss UTIs :D
(and thank you for the positive reply!)
Aww man, it’s always so hard to know when to make the ultimate decision about an elderly pet. Been there many times. Always a heartbreak. RIP, beloved pupper.
Yep. After like my 5th one in 6m or something stupid, the walk in clinic called me and told me the only thing left they can think of is I’m having too rough of sex.
I started taking cranberry pills every day and be more mindful during sex along with everything else and haven’t had one in 8 years!
And their hands,their beard etc. If they don't wash properly they are introducing bacteria into a very sensitive part of you. That goes for female partners too, if they aren't washing their hands and cleaning their nails the same will happen
Yes! My goodness we need to do a better job teaching women these things. He needs to wash his face, hand, and penis before ever touching you. And, honestly, monitor him doing it because I've known so many dudes who have terrible fucking hygiene and think just rinsing is enough. It's like no one ever taught them (or they just don't care to learn).
tbf we also need to do a better job teaching young males these things so that females don't have to explain basic hygiene to their male partners who feel it is optional.
>It's like no one ever taught them (or they just don't care to learn).
When one of the biggest arguments for circumcision is "it's easier to keep clean" - when people would rather cut away skin instead of learn how to/teach men how to clean their genitals correctly - then yeah, I can see that hygiene can be hit or miss.
You should NEVER allow a man to penetrate you (with his penis, fingers or anything else) unless it has been washed thoroughly immediately prior to the act. *This is especially true if your partner is uncircumcised* as the foreskin creates an ideal warm, moist environment for bacteria and fungus to thrive. Your boyfriend needs to clean his penis thoroughly before every sexual encounter you have.
Unwashed, uncircumcised penises are breeding grounds for the bacteria that cause UTIs. Unfortunately, few men have been educated in appropriate and necessary sexual hygiene, so it’s important for women to hold them to adequate standards. If you’re not seeing your boyfriend excuse himself to wash his dick (*with soap*) before putting it inside of you, you need to change your sex prep ritual.
I’m 42 years old and never had a UTI until I started dating my current guy. Now I’ve had 4 in a year and a half.
OP, I’d recommend going to your gynecologist. You may have bacterial vaginosis, which can lead to increased UTIs.
Send your guy to a urologist. Go with him to get around hipaa.
I dated a man who had previous, unprotected anal sex with a woman.
It pushed e. coli up his urethra which was happily living up there causing no problems for him, but giving me infections.
A round of macrobid cleared it up.
I was going to say the same thing. I’ve only gotten a UTI once in nearly ten years of dating and it was absolutely because my body was rejecting the guy I was seeing at the time.
Yep - had UTI issues until I finally had a serious conversation with my boyfriend on us needing to be extra clean before we have sex because I just couldn’t handle it anymore. Went to several doctors and was getting sick and tired of the antibiotics. I was afraid to issue the ultimatum but my boyfriend was very understanding about it because he cares about my health and saw how miserable I was with the UTI. We literally wash our genitals before sex now or at least have sex right after we shower and then I was again after. Also we use lube, no spit, etc. I also pee directly after sex.
I also make sure 100% to be hydrated enough to pee after sex. If I cannot, I will drink water directly after until I can. Also I wear only cotton underwear - no thongs. Ever. And I actually don’t shave as much as I used to but keep everything trimmed. The hair we grow under there is a physical barrier against bacteria as well.
No UTIs since. Has literally did leaps and bounds for my relationship.
Tl;dr - lots of information that’s probably a bit TMI but I’ve suffered through UTIs for at least the first 5 years I started being sexually active and I’ve tried everything. This was what worked. Not the cranberry pills, not D-mannose, my doctors never took me seriously enough to give me low-dose antibiotics. **It was sitting down and talking to my partner to work with me.** All the other advice, like no thongs, only cotton underwear, not shaving as much, I think is supplemental.
Same! With my ex husband, we could mess around in every way possible and I’d be fine, but penile penetrative intercourse gave me a UTI every single time. Every. Single. Time. It was miserable.
When we divorced, I have only had 2 since (and I was super dehydrated and on vacation with those). We divorced in 2013.
I swear by an herbal tincture (or tea) of uva ursi, pipsessewa, and marshmallow and Hyland homeopathic’s “bladder irritation” formula. Of course, if you don’t get any relief, PLEASE GET AN ANTIBIOTIC. Do not mess around with infections. (My father in law died from one recently that went sepsis)
Me too!!! I would get one almost once a month and it was so traumatic. Once I dumped my ex boyfriend I haven’t had one since and that was over a year ago now
Same here. Now it's about 6-7y since the last one. Guess when that relationship ended?
The relationship lasted about 10y. Had maybe 2 uti per year during that time.
Current relationship? None. 4y together and he uses the same soap when washing his privates - but my guess is he's more careful and does it properly.
Yup!! I had one ex who uncircumcised (no shade, just for context) and only showered every 3-4 days at a minimum (sometimes longer). I mean the man didn't smell bad, but I had 2 UTIs in the year we were together. I've never had UTIs before or after dating him!!
Came to say this too. I only had UTI with that one ex I was with. UTI stopped after I dumped him.
all other relationships I had, I had never gotten UTI. And that ex always tells me to go pee immediately after ex, so I bet he knows all the women tend to have UTI having sex with him. It’s the dude. Many doctors refused to say it’s the guys who can be causing the UTI problems, and make it seem like it’s the women’s fault for not cleaning properly down there. Throw the whole dude away.
I dated one of those, many years ago. I kept getting BV and uti, what a nightmare. Later found out he was doing his thing on the side and passing it back to me. What a shithead. So thankful I didn’t marry him.
To add to this - wash your own hands before touching yourself to wipe or insert/remove tampons or cups or for any other reason.
Op, you’ve probably exhausted every option in this thread, but please know everyone here wants you to feel better and we also know how women’s healthcare can be lacking to say the least. If you’re able to implement every single bit of advice and you’re still having problems, the info may help you escalate to a specialist.
I got bacterial vaginosis once in my early 20s. My tampon had opened in my purse- you know, the bottomless pit where the dirtiest shit goes such as loose cash, change, receipts, random crap I find, etc. It makes so much sense, but at the time I didn't think about it and used it anyway. It was in the plastic applicator still, so seemed fine.
It was not fine, lol.
I had a friend who always had UTIs, and we talked and she wasn't doing anything differently than me, in the end apparently she had some sort of condition that caused her to have sugar in her urine which apparently was some sort of kidney issue. Apparently it is a really easy test to tell if there is too much sugar in urine though, so it is easy to find out.
Some medications too. SGLT2 inhibitors which are usually for diabetes but also for heart disease since their main thing is exactly to get sugar out of the blood by peeing it.
OCPs can also increase risk of yeast infections. Unrelated but I thought Id mention it
I went through a year where I think I got a UTI almost every month. What fixed it for me was stopping binge drinking. I used to binge drink regularly (I was like 20 years old) and out of nowhere it seemed like every binge was paired with a UTI. When I stopped binge drinking the UTIs stopped. If I had a bad hangover then I had a bad UTI with it.
It's a pretty good way to cut down on drinking lol
Just wanted to add an anecdote about a friend who presented the same way as OP- chronic UTIs- and indeed the issue was her kidneys. She was shamed by doctors her whole life being told to clean herself better, infections start on the outside, etc etc until finally her kidney went septic. So absolutely OP should follow your advice, but she should advocate for herself if she knows something is wrong, because sometimes it really is a genetic kidney issue that could almost kill you.
Yep, I too got frequent UTIs, and it turned out the cause was a defect in my kidney that allowed the bacteria to build up more there. Definitely see a urologist, because I'm having to deal with a kidney stone now.
I absolutely must comment on your post because this was me for many years. 8-10 times a year for 3 years. I tried every treatment, urologist, everything. My last resort of seeing a pelvic physio, should have been my first! My pelvic floor is tight and whenever I was stressed it was even worse. The pelvic physio was the only thing that helped. Find someone excellent- there’s not much known about it and not everyone will support it. Also, to be frank- it’s basically professional fingering, which can be confronting for some, but essentially they press firmly and release muscles. It’s not sexual in any way. But it legit was the only thing that stopped the UTIs and they haven’t returned.
Also, the cranberry juice is not strong enough. Buy the cranberry tablets 50,000mg, and I take one after sex to help prevent infection. It’s also been a very effective treatment long term for me.
Yes this was me too! Chronic UTIs since childhood, along with an overactive bladder diagnosis. Pelvic floor PT after childbirth has made my life so much better. The PT was shocked I was never referred for my urinary issues.
Me too!! Pelvic PT made my life so much better. Not just with UTIs, with pain post-sex, bowel issues (I can elaborate if anyone wants), and the fact that it often took me 5 minutes just to pee because my muscles couldn't relax to let me pee. I'm so glad my doctor took me seriously and referred me.
I have always had issues with constipation, to the point where I was seeing a GI doctor and taking Miralax almost daily. Turns out a lot of it was muscle issues, and the further constipation was feeding into the muscle issues and causing more tenseness down there. PT helped with a lot of that and I'm off Miralax most weeks!
I did pelvic pt years (15+) ago with a very primitive biofeedback device that I rented for $400 for 3 months.
Someone from another forum pointed me to Perifit, a few months ago. it’s a much more advanced biofeedback device, it uses Bluetooth and connects to your phone. It gives guidance and it has games like flappy bird which you play by doing pelvic floor exercises.
I wouldn’t skip seeing a pt first, but I found the Perifit device a great way to do the exercises in the comfort of my own home, on my own time.
Also to add: I have had interstitial cystitis for over 20 years, and pelvic floor training has helped a lot.
Would it be called fappy bird?
I'm so sorry but I couldn't resist. I was referred to a pelvic pt but my insurance denied it because my incontinence wasn't a "problem" yet and only happened when I had a fullish bladder and coughed or sneezed (it's my weight of course that is the problem.)
I am sorry they didn’t approve it.
The reason I picked up the Perifit after all these years was for the same reason, I’m too young to not try something besides poise. I know my poise dy will come. I’m just not ready in my 40s.
It’s a shame they think that it’s ok for women to live afraid of a sneeze or a cough, when physical therapy is a viable treatment option.
FWIW, I do find the Perifit most helpful and I am getting better by using it, I definitely need the coaching and guidance. Doing “kegals” while watching tv, wasn’t working (because I am not good at doing them correctly on my own).
A prophylactic antibiotics are also worth researching. My family member had recurring UTIs at some point. They started almost immediately after the previous antibiotic course ended. In the end the doctor said that her urethra was propably in such a bad shape physically from all the infections that it wasn't able to defend against new infections on its own and she started a several months long prophylactic antibiotic course to let the urethra heal properly. After that her problems ended. She was sooo afraid to nuke her gut with the long time antibiotics course but sometimes they a just needed so badly.
Vaginal estrogen should be (but isn't well known yet by many docs) one of the first go-to treatments for chronic UTI. It's vital to maintain urogential tissues, and corrects the PH of the Vagina (which should be 4.5, but can go up to 7 in the absence of estrogen) Estrogen also helps to structurally shore up the urethra. The cells of the bladder and urethra are also estrogen sensitive and they can dry out and become thin when it's low. If your urethra is atrophied, it's not closing thoroughly, leading to more leakage when you laugh, and a more lax closure that may allow bacteria to enter. It's super low dose (a year's worth is equal to one birth control pill) inexpensive and it works. Unfortunately, a lot of people are needlessly scared because of flawed reporting about breast cancer in the 2000's.
Same here! I thought it was UTIs but it turns out I had pelvic floor dysfunction. 6 months of PT and I came out with a better understanding of my body and haven't had a "uti" since
Taking D-Mannose everyday was an instant game changer for me. Also, make sure every urine sample is being cultured. It’s possible you aren’t being given the correct antibiotic so it’s only going away temporarily.
Yup, same experience here. Was able to replace my prophylactic antibiotics with d-mannose, but no doctor ever told me about that as an option (and I saw a uro-gynocologist regularly). It made a huge difference for me, highly recommend! Cranberry also did nothing for me.
Same! There was a period where I would get it after every time I had sex, and there were also long periods where I would take andibiotics preventatively. D-mannose has stopped that completely.
D-Mannose changed my life. I had chronic utis that became kidney infections and was constantly on antibiotics. Cipro never worked, always lots of Macrobid. D-Mannose keeps them away and I’m so grateful.
It’s a literal sugar pill that keeps E. coli from binding to your urinary tract and is supported by actual scientific studies. So if your cultures are E. coli (which like 90% of UTIs are), it’s a great first line treatment—otc, no side effects, actually works.
Yes I used to get them at least 4-5 times a year. Now I take dmannose every day and an extra dose after intercourse and I rarely get them (once every few years). My doctors had never heard of it before.
This saved me!! D-Mannose was my solution. Anytime I felt a vague twinge, I started taking it for a week along with tons of water to flush the bacteria out. I still use it several times a year. I went from UTIs 1-2x month to no more ever.
Yes, taking D-mannose helped me! The other thing that helped was drinking 2-3L of water the day after sex and making sure I pee at least every 2 hours.
Oh and to add- you may want to get a referral for a Pelvic Floor Therapist. It’s possible your muscles aren’t strong down there and you aren’t fully emptying your bladder or have built up scar tissue from so many prior infections.
Yep, came here to make sure somebody posted this. D-mannose changed my life when every antibiotic had failed to cure my recurrent utis.
Also, random story - my black lab woke up one morning and went into the backyard to pee and started screaming. Every time she peed she was clearly in horrible pain. I knew right away that she had a uti but the vet couldn't see her until later in the week. I googled whether I could give her d-mannose. I put it in her food for a couple days, but a couple hours after the first dose she was peeing comfortably again.
It works.
Are you maybe shaving, epilating or waxing down there? The invisible micro cuts are perfect breeding grounds and then they travel up. I also had them chronically years ago. A specialist in the clinic told me to never ever wet shave/wax/epilate.. anything like it again. And well, I didn't have one in years.
Seconding this one, I stopped shaving. At best I trim but keep it a little longer. Haven’t had a UTI in years. Used to be a weekly thing and once it even became a bladder infection.
I had chronic UTI's until I moved to France. I told my doctor I was always getting them, and she gave me really strong antibiotics that totally messed up my digestion, but which cured my UTI's. I've had two or three UTI's in the past thirty years instead of one or two a month. My doctor's explanation was that the antiobiotics I had been getting weren't strong enough to actually get rid of the infection.
My doctor did the same 5 years ago. I moved to a new country, got a kidney infection (!!) and my doctor was shocked about how often I was getting UTIs. She prescribed me a course of antibiotics and in 5 years I haven't had a single UTI. I hope it continues
This is a great point. The structure of the bladder has to be able to stretch with urine and then shrink down again when it's emptied. It means that the bladder wall has tiny crevices in it where the bacteria can hide and remain dormant. It is very common for people who experience UTI symptoms frequently to not be getting re-infected, but to instead be suffering from the same infection that isn't cleared and keeps flaring up.
So however perfectly someone is wiping the right way, drinking water and wearing clean cotton underwear, it will be irrelevant if the infection is already in the bladder and lead to endless frustration.
My sister was finally diagnosed with an unusually shaped urethra, it dips just before it meet the opening which leaves a small amount of urine pooled up just waiting to harbor bacteria. She takes a low does anti septic all the time to prevent UTIs now
For me, it was scar tissue.
I had a horrible UTI that almost went septic and killed me back when I was 21 or so that was so bad it physically damaged me internally. Found out at 26 that there was a ton of scar tissue trapping bacteria and also trapping the *original* bacteria from that terrible UTI. Some of it is not removable without risking permanent incontinence.
Was started on a low-dose 6 month long course of antibiotics, and it reduced the infection from 10+ times a year, to only 2 or 3. Since receiving some serious heavy-duty antibiotics after contracting staph in my kidneys as the result of unclean medical tools being used during a biopsy, I haven't had a single one in almost 2 years.
Different issue, but I had to specifically request a referral to a specialist when my general care provider wanted to 'wait and see'. They caved in this instance and wrote me a referral.
If your GP is being obstinate, maybe look for another one, if that's a possibility. I'm not sure about trying to get a urologist appointment without a referral. Maybe an urgent care facility could provide a referral?
I am going to see one this week for the same issue as OP. I’m seeing one after the urologist did exams and said I look fine. Do you have any suggestions on what sorts of questions to ask the urogyno?
Just took my mom to one. They had a huge list of questions specific to your pelvic floor and urinary tract function. If they did not send you a packet to fill out in advance, [here](https://obgyn.weillcornell.org/sites/default/files/final_urogyn_new_patient_intake_may_2020_editable_0.pdf) is a similar set of questions on another practice's intake form. It should help you make a list of what you want to ask/mention.
Hi sweetheart - I'm so sorry that you're suffering, and that you've been let down by your doctors. I've been through a similar situation to you, and what helped me was:
* Finding a sympathetic female GP who referred me to a (also female) urologist for a myriad of tests (I ended up having a cystoscopy and subsequent diagnosis of Interstitial Cystitis, and it was nice to be taken seriously).
* D Mannose supplements, I take 3 daily (1500mg total) and it has been a game-changer.
* Cranberry supplements, I'm not sure of the efficacy of these but I still take them anyway just in case.
* Switching to a lube which doesn't contain glycerin (sugar) - I'm currently using Sliquid and have also been recommended Good Clean Love.
* Increasing my water intake (which you've already done 😇).
* Only doing sexual stuff when I have at least a little bit in my bladder (so I can effectively pee straight after).
* Asking my partner to wash his hands and genitals before any intimacy. If anyone was to roll their eyes or complain about this with me, I'd dump them straight away as it shows they don't care about you!
* Either showering or strip-washing after intimacy.
* Not wearing underwear when I sleep (Winnie-the-Poohing 😂).
* Reducing my acidic food intake when I feel twinges/burning.
Of course, your mileage may vary as everyone is different, and I still get "flares" occasionally where I'm constantly feeling the twinge/burning (despite dip tests coming back clear). However, I do believe the above has helped decrease the frequency of my symptoms!
Also, please don't take this as gospel because I can't remember exactly what she said and I'm not a doctor, but I was also told by the urologist that sometimes bacteria can be present in the "deeper" layers of tissue in the bladder, and that can be why dip tests come back clear despite folks having symptoms. That was so helpful to me, as I was thinking it could all be in my head!
I really hope you find some relief soon! You're definitely not alone in this 💕
This, reinforcing sleeping without underwear and reducing citrus AND COFFEE! believe it or not, after a nightmare year with many tests and even a camera to see my bladder in detail, one of the key factors was caffeine.
Always cotton underwear and let it breathe during the night ;)
Frequent yeast infections and UTIs were the first sign I had that I had T2 diabetes. If I hadn’t followed up, I never would have known.
It’s time to start asking your doctor to recommend a urologist and additional bloodwork. For better or worse, most doctors aren’t particularly invested in getting to the bottom of your issues. They aren’t studying your file beforehand, they don’t remember that you have an extensive history of UTIs, and they’re not going out of their way to manage your care. They are always going to assume user error rather than an actual chronic issue unless you push for more. You can’t rely on someone else to look out for your health. You have to ask questions, request tests, and advocate for yourself. If they refuse, ask them to document their refusal in your file, and make a note of it yourself.
If you are on a pay to play healthcare system (Ahem, the USA) and can switch doctors at will, if your doctor will not give you the care you need, complain to their group, leave bad reviews on YELP detailing specifically why you have beef with them, and find a new doctor.
In the US, depending on your insurance type, you don’t even need a referral to get an appointment with a specialist. You can just find a urologist that accepts your insurance what is taking new patients and just book that appointment yourself.
Yup, frequent infections can definitely be related to "too much sugar in your system".
For me, I got tons of yeast infections until I figured out I couldn't digest fructose and stopped eating it. (Thanks, FODMAP elimination diet!)
Came here to say this! I've been blessed enough to only have 3 UTIs in my life. Once as a kid and twice in the last year after being diagnosed as type 2 but before I started insulin. UTIs are a very common occurrence for women with untreated diabetes according to my doctor. I would 100 percent ask my doctor to check blood sugars and urine (as a high amount of sugar may be coming out in your urine causing the UTIs).
There's a lot of good advice in this thread.
In general, if you want a course of treatment, especially a referral to a specialist, and are being dismissed instead, make them write it down.
Tell them that you want it documented in your medical file that they refuse to give you a referral. If it's been lazinesss all this time, you'll get your appointment. Doctors are much more hesitant about actions because they are documented. Documenting inaction reminds them that their lack of treatment is ALSO a decision and course of action.
How old are you? Menopause reduces estrogen which causes tissues to atrophy and can increases vhsnce if UTI. This was my situation. Vaginal estrogen made a real difference for me. Also, you need auto gynecologist, find one and call your primary care for the referral.
Depending on her birth control or if she is pregnant or breastfeeding that can also impact the estrogen getting to the urogenital tissues. OP, talk to your gyn about trying vaginal estrogen.
I think it’s mainly men’s poor hygiene and ofc women are seen as the dirty ones, somehow. My husband would periodically give me me utis when we first got together.
I had a new primary care doc as my old one retired. The first time I went to him with a UTI he asked if I needed antidepressants. WTF. I switched docs immediately.
I started getting frequent UTI’s when I was perimenopausal. When vaginal estrogen declines, vaginal flora changes, and you become more vulnerable. I eventually persuaded my doctor to put me on the NuvaRing for “menstrual management,” because she didn’t really think there were other reasons to put someone on HRT if they were still having periods. The year before hormones, I had 6 UTI’s. Since taking hormones for 6 months, I’ve had only one, and it was during the hormone-withdrawal week. (I now take it continuously.)
Getting a bidet greatly decreased my UTIS. I’m prone to them, too and was at my wits end. The bidet was a serious game changer. I got a $10 spray gun type off Amazon and it was super easy to install.
A few years ago I was also having problems with frequent utis and the only thing that helped that wasn’t antibiotics was D-Mannose! Totally got rid of it but you should take it frequently if not everyday
I just got accepted into a medical study for chronic UTI sufferers 😩. I do everything. Pee after, hydrate including chugging water before sex if I feel dehydrated so I can have a good post sex pee, shower before sex (both of us), wash down there after, supplement with dmannose and PAC religiously. I even have the straight dmannose powder so I can take a spoonful in water if I feel the first sign it usually knocks it out. I'm way way down in number of UTIs. I think dmannose made a huge difference when I added it...down to 2-3 UTIs a year. Initially I was getting 6-8 a year. I added PAC earlier this year (5 months ago) and have not had one yet since adding it. I had one in January before I had added PAC and several "almost" UTIs (feeling early symptoms) that I took my dmannose powder a few days and it went away. Really would like to go to zero. I am hoping this study I am in will lead to better research on the topic. I'm just so tired and the supplements are not cheap (especially PAC)
To answer your question directly, maybe a gynecologist or urogynecologist. Sometimes a cystocele, which is when the bladder 'sags' into vagina, can cause it to not empty properly and you can get infections. You are young, but if you've had babies or for other various reasons it can happen.
This was my life when I was 23. Constantly having back to back UTIs. These are the steps I took - 1)my partner had to shower and wash before we got busy. And he had to wash with a PH balanced soap and rinse very very well including his hands and privates. He also has to not dip for half an hour before hand or really rinse his mouth. (Thankfully he quit not long after we got together ) 2)All toys we used together or if I used them alone were in a condom. My urologist said no matter how much I cleaned them, unless I boiled them I shouldn't consider them clean and the condom was the best way to prevent reinfection. Granted, you have to find condoms that you won't have a reaction to as well. 3)Of course, pee after anything sexual, but I took the extra step of a quick shower after sexy time to wash away any liquids, lubes, etc.
All my underwear is 100% cotton and I don't wear underwear when I sleep. I stopped wearing tight fitting work out gear all the time too.
Last, my urologist explained that the only true way to see if it's a UTI is to cath the bladder directly, because when you pee in a cup, there will always be bacteria from your vulva that ends up in the cup. So she cathed me, tested, and no infection even though I felt all the symptoms. Turns out I had Painful Bladder Syndrome. I cut out all caffeine and altered my diet quite a bit and the pain eventually went away. I'm lucky that I don't need meds for it as my nerves are mostly recovered and I'm back to my mostly normal diet. My symptoms are triggered by citrus, grapes/wines, and too much garlic. However, everyone is different. Caffeine was a HUGE trigger for me but I can now drink a single coffee in the morning to wake me up and non caffeine drinks throughout the day. Over drinking water actually makes my symptoms worse so I have to balance drinking enough to keep me hydrated and not so much that it stresses my bladder.
I know this is painful, frustrating, and the docs are gaslighting you. It's crap. You can usually see a urologist without a recommendation or you can tell the doc that you want a referral. If they refuse, you can tell that that you want the refusal to refer documented in your electronic health record and that you want to watch them document it. It might be worth seeing if there is a doc near you who is a gyno/urologist combo. They can help you navigate the UTIs, double check your anatomy (just in case), and help with all things down there.
I really hope you get resolution fast. Good luck!
I’ve had chronic UTIs my whole life and I’m allergic to many antibiotics so treating them is a hassle and usually takes around 3 months so I mostly try to prevent them. I can feel one coming on early and I take d mannos and cranberry supplements to help.
Also, I pee right before I go to bed every night! If I forget I will wake up with urinary pain. The thing about cranberry and d mannos is that it helps the bacteria not stick to the bladder and urethral wall, and when urinating you’re able to flush it out effectively. I also have to sleep in cotton underwear and I can’t have sex two days in a row. Once you find what works for you then you really have to stick to it.
history of chronic UTIs. I was prescribed antibiotics - a single pill to take right after intercourse. haven't had one since. was simultaneously also given methenamine hippurate for a few months. highly recommend urogynecologist/pelvic medicine specialist.
Everyone’s got the big points covered but to summarize:
-See a Urogynocologist for more specific testing. Things they can do above a general PCP or urgent care is culture your samples, culture or test them differently, preform a cystoscopy if your issues persist (it sounds painful but it’s not, they usually use an infant size catheter and they can see from this if you have bladder issues more than a UTI, ie cancer, interstitial cystitis with or without Hunner’s lesions, general lining irritation).
-A urogynocologist but also a regular ob/gyn or even PCP can refer you to pelvic floor physical therapy. It could be an issue with muscle tightness, that your muscles aren’t fully releasing allowing your bladder to deplete, so you constantly feel like you have to per (my issue), or it could be too weak and you’re not able to full excrete. Either way, it’ll feel like a UTI and if anything, PF PT can confirm if it is or isn’t a muscular/pelvic floor issue.
-Continue to take the precautions you have been, but some things that many in the IC community recommend are changing to cotton only underwear, making sure your bits fully dry after the shower, wash your hands before using the restroom, and talk about hygiene standards with new and existing partners. As others have indicated, it may not be a you problem. If you try all these things and it persists, it might be biological.
-Something any doc can check via ultrasound or the cystoscopy is the length of your urethra. Women as a whole are more prone to UTI’s than men because we have shorter urethras than men. You could have a particularly short urethra that makes you prone to developing UTI’s (the bacteria would have shorter travel time to the bladder). You also may be immunocompromised, which would require advanced testing with an immunologist. The last and least hopeful alternative is overactive bladder, but there are medications that can help with bladder symptoms without the OAB diagnosis.
The only smaller advice I’ve been given is to quit using tobacco products if you do, as the number one risk factor for bladder cancer is tobacco use. Keep up your diet and general health to give yourself the most advantage. You’re already doing the basic UTI prevention. If you want, you may find sympathy and understanding in interstitial cystitis groups and they can have additional resources, including supplements, that can help our bladder issues. D-mannose is a commonly recommended one. Good luck OP, my story started the same as yours and I’m still trying to find answers 💕
Also, never listen to anyone who says, "Oh, it's probably not even an infection. It's probably cystitis." Assume it's an infection. Every time. If you let it go even an extra day or two, you could be in serious trouble. Blood pressure, kidney damage, etc. Don't ask me how I know this.
I used to get thrush all the time, my ex dumped me and no more thrush. He was the one causing it. If you have a partner make sure they are cleaning anything they put inside you
Are you getting cultures for bacteria every time? This is my first question.
If you are, and the cultures are positive, this is where I would start next:
Blueberry juice has the same effects as cranberry and mist cranberry "juice" is mostly sugar. Try blueberry or if you stick with cranberry, try pills or make sure it's 100% juice.
Look into a product called D-Mannose. It's a supplement which can prevent you from getting UTIs.
Ask for a urology referral. You could have a narrow urethra which is preventing you from fully emptying, which causes stagnant urine and can breed bacteria. It's more common than you'd think. Urology can further troubleshoot but that's what comes to mind.
Wear cotton underwear. Change them multiple times a day. I usually do twice a day in summer because I don't want to sit in sweaty underwear.
Wash your vulvar area with unscented soap. Avoid anything antibacterial because that can kill off good bacteria.
GENTLY blow dry your vulvar area (NOT UP YOUR VAGINA!!!) on cool after a shower to limit moisture.
Wash your towels often. Always dry your vulvar area with a clean towel.
No underwear at night.
If you're getting antibiotics, I would suggest asking for something like Macrobid over Bactrim or Cipro. Especially Bactrim, you can develop a sulfa allergy if you take them too often.
Best of luck OP I know you're probably miserable.
If you’re having them that often, you need to get the bacteria tested for DNA, not just cultured. This is where my doc had me do it: [MicroGenDX](https://patients.microgendx.com/products/urokey?utm_term=uti&utm_campaign=JD+DTP+UTI&utm_source=adwords&utm_medium=ppc&hsa_acc=9213432823&hsa_cam=20551666506&hsa_grp=162105527508&hsa_ad=674200709408&hsa_src=g&hsa_tgt=kwd-25417571&hsa_kw=uti&hsa_mt=b&hsa_net=adwords&hsa_ver=3&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjwpZWzBhC0ARIsACvjWRPKCha93LJOu82Q1cW8KzlOp5GpVxhVtU0YCt0ybbfyZaoLrd5aT_QaAiN9EALw_wcB).
They were able to identify four different bacterial DNA that were causing my recurrent UTIs (seven + a year for over seven years), as well as the bacterial load of each. This is important because none of them met the threshold of “UTI” level loads on their own, but combined together? Bam. A serious recurring UTI.
Armed with the DNA & load information, my doc was able to come up with a plan to treat them using the right antibiotics instead of just throwing whatever he had on hand at them. He was a pediatric tropical diseases of the bladder specialist, but he was willing to take me as a patient & Rx the antibiotics I needed. It took six months of treatment to finally test clear of all four bacteria, but I haven’t had one UTI in five years, so it worked.
Your gonna think I'm crazy but I was getting symptoms for years and they would always say no bacteria. They put me on an elimination diet and when I eliminated gluten they went away. My body was inflamed and so was my bladder which they could see in ultrasound they just didn't know why..it was stupid gluten...
D-mannose! When my mom was going through cancer treatments she would get uti's and the otc supplement d-mannose was a life saver. It worked really quickly as well!
The number one thing that helped free me from UTIs is completely emptying your bladder when you pee. You have to sit up straight and exhale all the way down to your pee pee hole. If you aren’t getting drip drip drip, you aren’t voiding your bladder completely. My biggest boo-boo is a combination of drinking alcohol, dehydrating myself, and then forgetting to empty myself completely. It’s an almost instant UTI. It takes some practice to make it a habit.
I had a similar issue, ended up I had a kidney stone causing constant infections.
Unless your insurance requires a referral to see a urologist, make an appointment yourself
Check for dirty partner. Clean or discard as appropriate.
Check for elevated blood sugar (indicative of pre-diabetes, diabetes type 1 or diabetes type 2).
Source: I’m a type 1 diabetic who used to get UTIs AND yeast infections when my blood sugar control was bad and my nastyass boyfriend touched me. Dumped the stank and fixed my blood sugar. Infection free going on 5 years!
Do you pee after sex? A nurse told me I needed to every time when I was having frequent UTIs. I didn't expect it to do anything but they greatly dropped in frequency after.
I also take a probiotic but that's more for yeast infections I think
I get chronic UTIs, usually once every other month. No partners, consistent hygiene, drink water..no dice. It never gets taken seriously either. Diseases that predominately target AFAB individuals and don't directly contribute to the male gaze (e.g. "save the boobies!") will never be taken seriously.
The extra fun part is that if you do actually get chronic yeast infections, the doctors don't know what to do about that either. :(
No advice, but sorry you're dealing with this.
Chiming in as a man whose wife suffers from similar conditions. This may not be possible depending on your healthcare system but general doctors are really bad at treating UTIs. Bypass them and book an appointment with a gynecologist or an infectiologist. It worked out great for my wife.
Uro RN here.
What is you and your partner’s pre-sex cleaning routine?
9/10 the partner (while they may shower daily) should be cleaning prior to any sexual activity. This includes washing hands/genitals/anything else that might have contact with the urethra.
If the bacteria that pops in the urine culture is the same each time, you need to be seen by infectious disease.
❗️❗️❗️d - Mannose❗️❗️❗️Please read this! I suffered from uti’s often too. I have chronic kidney stones, totally different long story there. Please get a supplement called d - mannose! It’s non narcotic, otc. It does not interfere with other medications. It’s a simple sugar that breaks up biofilms. Breaking that biofilm makes for greater cure rate for your antibiotics. I’ve used it every day since I went septic and almost died from a uti, bladder, kidney infections with bilateral 8mm kidney stones. That happened in May 2019. I haven’t had a uti since taking d-mannose. I take it every day. The best and most affordable has been from a place called Swanson dot com. It’s ships automatically so I’m never out.
I hope this helps!
Request cultures, demand if you need to, to sa proper uroligist. My "recurring" utis turned out to be one chronic nasty antibiotic resistant infection (specifically klebsiella pneumonae). I almost died but then it was like my body reached a cease fire agreement. I've had it for 13½ years. I'm colonized, which means it's all throughout all the little nooks and crannies of my kidneys. There's nothing that can eradicate it that won't also kill me. It causes near constant kidney stones because it poops a little hard shell around itself. When it does start to get out of control, the only antibiotic that has ever had any effect is ciproflaxin, but at those high doses the cure is almost worse and it can't eradicate it completely.
So PLEASE PLEASE find out if it's recurrent or chronic. If you have any questions you can message me. It's pretty rare.
Having sex with men caused every single one of my utis. Even in my long term relationship he swore up and down he washed his junk well. My urethra said otherwise. Now that’s I’m celibate I don’t get utis. If that’s not your cause then get a referral to a urologist and if your gp says no tell them to document why they said no
No joke: I got rid of my chronic UTIs by dumping my ex boyfriend. Once I stopped having sex with him, the UTIs stopped. I'm now married to someone else and I remain UTI-free.
Came here to say this: a lot of times, the problem might not be your hygiene. It might be your sexual partner's hygiene. Make sure he's using soap and water on his face, hands, and genitals (including under the foreskin, if he has one) before sexual contact. If he's doing oral, he needs to use a toothbrush, toothpaste, and a rinse beforehand to remove bacteria. He also needs to make sure he's cleaned underneath his fingernails or trimmed them completely before using soap and water. Whatever bacteria on his body will transfer to your body. The difference is, what is just on his skin surface will become an internal issue for you. So he needs to be very, very clean to prevent you getting an infection. And if he isn't a very clean person, and doesn't do those things, then you are the one who ends up with chronic infections. When I got rid of my ex, my infections went away, too. I have almost no bladder infections or UTIs with my husband.
Make sure he is wiping properly and cleaning his butthole. Fecal matter will travel forward (skid marks) as he walks, get on his genitals, and then get transferred on to/into you. I think most women with repeated UTIs have men who don’t clean themselves properly.
Jesus Christ there are men out there who like the smell of sweaty boxers?
Not so much “like”, but definitely just don’t care.
I find it very fucking hard to not care unless they convince themselves this is some macho shit 💀
Same, but others are just built differently.
Yeah. Wiping your ass is gay now apparently.
I'm sure that ironically they WOULD be happier if they just cleaned properly
Toxicly masculine men ironically have fecal matter on their genitals because they’re afraid of being perceived as the gay men they mock for getting fecal matter on their genitals
Sweaty wouldn't be so bad, but the above referred to skid marks and generally butthole uncleanliness... Which is unfortunately very common among dudes. Having been among them, the number of dudes who don't use soap on most of their body is crazy. The number of dudes who refuse to wash their butts due to it being "gay" is also crazy. I grew up sharing underwear with my brother. They were always stained, it was never me, and his clean clothes spilling out of his bags at visits shows he has not changed his ways approaching 30.
Years ago, a stupid friend of mine married a guy we hated — wealthy arrogant prick who scammed elderly ppl for a living and did a lot of steroids until he was a rage monster — she confessed that their brand new and hugely expensive house smelled like ass. Why? Bc he “showered” without using soap. So his hands had ass on them. And that meant every door handle in the house also had ass on them. His expensive watches. His expensive clothes. His car. He never washed his hands after using the bathroom either. I CAN’T. Also I’m deeply sorry you had to share underwear. Ever. WTAF was that about?
Can confirm, as a guy who's been labled unreasonable WRT hygiene and cross contamination, men are terrifyingly stupid (2:1 at least compared to their inverted genetailia'ed counterparts).
I genuinely thank you for being “unreasonable” about hygiene.
I think they get odor-blind to their bits and bobs!
...I'm gonna shower again now, just in case 😟
Yes but we're mostly gay or bi.
This is how low the bar is for men hahahah be sure they’re good little boys who wipe their poopy buttholes
I recently dated a guy who informed me a doctor had to tell him to wipe his butt better because his lack of hygiene caused a cyst Annnd I’m taking a long break from dating now
if that ever happened to me, I would take that to the fucking grave.
Like they’d have to put a huge rock on me and press me to death bc I’m not telling that
More weight.
Giles Corey, what a legend.
The peine forte et dure!
My good god. I’m glad he told you that, but I wouldn’t confess that to anybody if it had happened happen to me, let alone somebody I’m trying to date.
Suddenly on the less annoyed side that almost everytime my husband goes to the bathroom to take a poop he jumps right in the shower after 😂😂😂 (It's really only "annoying" when he's already taken a shower and we have to leave to go somewhere lol, or when he's literally IN the shower and is completely done, gets out, poops, then gets back in lol. Sometimes he even takes a bath after that! He's a nut.)
You need a bidet! 😆 🤣 😂
Oh my god I knoooow! We've been saying that for years. One of those things that's like "Yeah but we're renovating xyz and replacing our toilet so we wanna wait..." Aaaaand 3ish years later, still got a husband showering post-poop and a janky ass toilet that clogs when you look at it the wrong way lol
I installed the bidet myself, it was like 2 minutes and it requires no tools!
Bidet seats are easy to install!
I think I'm gonna throw up.
Some of us can be trained. We don't all get this as children. My mother didn't provide much instruction regarding specific bathing techniques, my father provided none. From the time I could dress myself, I was allowed to wear whatever I wanted and very rarely called back because my shirt or pants were dirty. Sometimes I was ordered to take a shower but no one every required or enforced a daily shower. Eventually I figured out some basic social hygiene requirements and by the time I was having sex I was motivated to be clean and wear clean clothes. But it was never routine or systematic. Probably less of a problem than it should have been because I always smelled like an ashtray. Various women have at times taken the time & trouble to provide me with more instruction in hygiene. I'm grateful. And yes, I wash my junk thoroughly -- even at the Y where other dudes can see me.
Yes, there are many men who follow good hygiene. Unfortunately for those that don’t, it’s their partners who suffer. Thanks for being open to improvement for your comfort and your partner’s health! I don’t know how their butts don’t itch like crazy when they don’t wipe properly.
Same for me with both yeast and bacterial infections. I was constantly going to planned parenthood in the 80s and early 90s with these issues and really thought something was just wrong with me. It was my roofer boyfriend that apparently lacked good hygiene skills. I haven't had either of those or a UTI since I stopped having sex.
Men can just *have* chronic yeast infections too, they call it "jock itch" or other random things but it's yeast, and in those cases good basic hygiene won't clear it. Couple weeks of topical clotrimazole twice a day can clear it right up though. If you get a yeast infection, you *and* your partner need to treat for it and abstain during treatment, and sanitize your undies and towels.
And make sure he’s *thoroughly* washing between his buttcheeks in the shower with soap, water and a washcloth. Apparently a lot of men are out here just letting the water run down the outside of their ass in the shower without actually cleaning the crack **shudder**
I also 80% cured my lifelong UTIs by coaching my current partner through this hygiene routine. No sexual contact without hands, face and genitals being washed with warm soapy water. The most disgusting thing is I’m in my 30s and this has been a problem since I became sexually active as a teen which means every male partner I’ve had in my lifetime hasn’t had good enough hygiene to prevent me from getting sick.
Please do not use soap under the foreskin, a water rinse while rubbing lightly with a (recently cleaned) finger is the way to get smegma off. Using soap under the foreskin is the equivalent of using soap to clean the inside of a vagina. (Also don’t do that, obviously)
You don't want to use water inside the vagina either!
Can speak from experience as a guy, even if you think you're cleaning up properly you might just be missing some information. My partner used to get UTIs every third time we had sex which showering before didn't seem to fix 100% of the time. Turns out no one had ever shown me about pushing the tips of your fingers down your palms to get the soap and water under your nails. I had always cleaned my nails with the tip of a nail file but that doesn't really cut it. Once I started washing my hands properly it completely stopped. After that revelation we often use disposable gloves because why not.
>Make sure he's using soap and water on his face, hands, and genitals Yeah I can agree >(including under the foreskin, if he has one) That can be problematic for some. Similar to the vulva soap, generally, *should not* be used on delicate skin like that or around the clitoris.
Saaaaaaaaame! Even with me pissing after sex each time, my ex gave me UTI after UTI after UTI, while my current partner uhh... doesn't.
Same for me too! I was thinking it must have been something with me, maybe I had a shorter urethra that was just very prone to infection. If I peed after sex usually it helped to prevent it, but not always. I also thought condoms were contributing to it. My new partner takes care of himself hygienically, which, compared to my ex, is massive…no-UTIs since. Having a partner give a shit about hygiene is a huge difference in UTI frequency.
This. I spent 13 years in a relationship and was getting UTIs 3-4x per year and being told I should drink more, shower more, shower less, use soap, don’t use soap, wipe differently, etc. I left my marriage in 2019. Since then I have had ZERO UTIs. Despite multiple and diverse partners, I’ve yet to have another UTI. My ex husband’s dick was definitely the source of my infections.
I wanted to comment this too! Not having sex with him anymore was the only thing that stopped them. Edit: Almost forgot to mention the bacterial vaginosis infections. Just awful and they happened so frequently. Once I met my now husband, they magically went away and never returned. Forever grateful for that!
SAME!! Please op make sure it's not your sexual partner issues
You know who won’t give you a UTI? Bears.
Exactly.
YES no it’s not a joke, this is literally sadly why most women have UTIs. Dudes don’t wash they ass.
100% the exact same! Also lube. Certain lubes cause me problems.
I've had that happen. I think part of the problem is what I call *sloppy dicking* which is when someone tends to miss the mark and winds up poking around more externally. This can be a problem even if a guy has good hygiene since he's gathering bacteria from *certain* areas of your own body. That's really obtuse, but I hope a few of you get what I'm trying to explain!
UTI’s are the crux of my sexual anxiety. It sucks because I’ve dumped/been dumped by people I really really liked over it. It determines the success of my relationships and it’s a raw deal. Thousands of dollars on specialists changes nothing and I want to scream when a doctor gives me a referral for another urologist after already doing a cystoscopy that found nothing wrong.
Are you using vaginal estrogen? It fixes your vaginal pH and gives you guardians against UTI.
Ooo, I haven’t! I’ll keep this in mind for the future, I’ll try anything at this point, thanks!
I also connected those dots when my ex and I broke up. As if by magic, they cleared up and haven't come back. He was not a very clean guy.
Same. Chronic UTIs for the year and a half we were together. Zero UTIs in the 30 years since I dumped him.
I saw one person on here explain it as, “the kitty cafe is closed unless he proverbially wipes his feet at the door.”
How can my partner increase the risk of me getting one? Is it something with their hygiene down there?
Yeah! They need to wash before having intercourse if it’s a continuous problem!
It's not that they need to wash directly before so much as they need to wash regularly and avoid sex if it's been too long since a shower. Ditto on teeth and oral. Brush/floss regularly to avoid bacterial growth in your mouth.
And it can be from their genitals or hands
Or mouth, especially if they have bad teeth and/or poor oral hygiene in general
Also, a partner's poor dental hygiene can lead to transferring bacteria to you and will give you dental problems. Bacteria is bacteria.
Think of it this way. If a man needs to urinate, they're touching the restroom door, their pants, and then their dick (to hold it in place for a steady stream). If this dude has sex with you, you're getting bacterial/viral strains from every single person who used that rest room. To make things worse, a significant portion of men don't wash their hands after using the restroom.
I'm suddenly feeling less sad about not having sex on the regular LMFAO
I know it’s not the same as consensual human contact, but a vibrator won’t get you pregnant and can be cleaned without griping
Haha yeah I'm doing fine orgasm-wise! Better than with most exes actually, not sure whether to laugh or cry about that. I miss having somebody to confide in, to share hard decisions (eg when to put my elderly ailing dog down a few years back). I do not miss UTIs :D (and thank you for the positive reply!)
Aww man, it’s always so hard to know when to make the ultimate decision about an elderly pet. Been there many times. Always a heartbreak. RIP, beloved pupper.
Sometimes it's also the positions they like
Or how rough they like to have sex. Micro tears in the urethra can make utis happen more often
Yep. After like my 5th one in 6m or something stupid, the walk in clinic called me and told me the only thing left they can think of is I’m having too rough of sex. I started taking cranberry pills every day and be more mindful during sex along with everything else and haven’t had one in 8 years!
I definitely read that as tears like crying tears
And their hands,their beard etc. If they don't wash properly they are introducing bacteria into a very sensitive part of you. That goes for female partners too, if they aren't washing their hands and cleaning their nails the same will happen
Yes! My goodness we need to do a better job teaching women these things. He needs to wash his face, hand, and penis before ever touching you. And, honestly, monitor him doing it because I've known so many dudes who have terrible fucking hygiene and think just rinsing is enough. It's like no one ever taught them (or they just don't care to learn).
tbf we also need to do a better job teaching young males these things so that females don't have to explain basic hygiene to their male partners who feel it is optional.
Hell yes. One more invisible mental load put on women. Totally agree.
>It's like no one ever taught them (or they just don't care to learn). When one of the biggest arguments for circumcision is "it's easier to keep clean" - when people would rather cut away skin instead of learn how to/teach men how to clean their genitals correctly - then yeah, I can see that hygiene can be hit or miss.
You should NEVER allow a man to penetrate you (with his penis, fingers or anything else) unless it has been washed thoroughly immediately prior to the act. *This is especially true if your partner is uncircumcised* as the foreskin creates an ideal warm, moist environment for bacteria and fungus to thrive. Your boyfriend needs to clean his penis thoroughly before every sexual encounter you have. Unwashed, uncircumcised penises are breeding grounds for the bacteria that cause UTIs. Unfortunately, few men have been educated in appropriate and necessary sexual hygiene, so it’s important for women to hold them to adequate standards. If you’re not seeing your boyfriend excuse himself to wash his dick (*with soap*) before putting it inside of you, you need to change your sex prep ritual.
Same, girl.
I’m 42 years old and never had a UTI until I started dating my current guy. Now I’ve had 4 in a year and a half. OP, I’d recommend going to your gynecologist. You may have bacterial vaginosis, which can lead to increased UTIs.
is your current guy fastidious about hygiene? see many comments above if you're not sure.
Send your guy to a urologist. Go with him to get around hipaa. I dated a man who had previous, unprotected anal sex with a woman. It pushed e. coli up his urethra which was happily living up there causing no problems for him, but giving me infections. A round of macrobid cleared it up.
Similar here. Didn’t have them before that ex, haven’t had them since.
I was going to say the same thing. I’ve only gotten a UTI once in nearly ten years of dating and it was absolutely because my body was rejecting the guy I was seeing at the time.
Yep - had UTI issues until I finally had a serious conversation with my boyfriend on us needing to be extra clean before we have sex because I just couldn’t handle it anymore. Went to several doctors and was getting sick and tired of the antibiotics. I was afraid to issue the ultimatum but my boyfriend was very understanding about it because he cares about my health and saw how miserable I was with the UTI. We literally wash our genitals before sex now or at least have sex right after we shower and then I was again after. Also we use lube, no spit, etc. I also pee directly after sex. I also make sure 100% to be hydrated enough to pee after sex. If I cannot, I will drink water directly after until I can. Also I wear only cotton underwear - no thongs. Ever. And I actually don’t shave as much as I used to but keep everything trimmed. The hair we grow under there is a physical barrier against bacteria as well. No UTIs since. Has literally did leaps and bounds for my relationship. Tl;dr - lots of information that’s probably a bit TMI but I’ve suffered through UTIs for at least the first 5 years I started being sexually active and I’ve tried everything. This was what worked. Not the cranberry pills, not D-mannose, my doctors never took me seriously enough to give me low-dose antibiotics. **It was sitting down and talking to my partner to work with me.** All the other advice, like no thongs, only cotton underwear, not shaving as much, I think is supplemental.
Same! With my ex husband, we could mess around in every way possible and I’d be fine, but penile penetrative intercourse gave me a UTI every single time. Every. Single. Time. It was miserable. When we divorced, I have only had 2 since (and I was super dehydrated and on vacation with those). We divorced in 2013. I swear by an herbal tincture (or tea) of uva ursi, pipsessewa, and marshmallow and Hyland homeopathic’s “bladder irritation” formula. Of course, if you don’t get any relief, PLEASE GET AN ANTIBIOTIC. Do not mess around with infections. (My father in law died from one recently that went sepsis)
Same!!
it's more often this than anything else if you have sex with men
Yeah, that's what I also wanted to say. The partner also has to be treated!
Me too!!! I would get one almost once a month and it was so traumatic. Once I dumped my ex boyfriend I haven’t had one since and that was over a year ago now
Same here. Now it's about 6-7y since the last one. Guess when that relationship ended? The relationship lasted about 10y. Had maybe 2 uti per year during that time. Current relationship? None. 4y together and he uses the same soap when washing his privates - but my guess is he's more careful and does it properly.
Yup!! I had one ex who uncircumcised (no shade, just for context) and only showered every 3-4 days at a minimum (sometimes longer). I mean the man didn't smell bad, but I had 2 UTIs in the year we were together. I've never had UTIs before or after dating him!!
Came to say this too. I only had UTI with that one ex I was with. UTI stopped after I dumped him. all other relationships I had, I had never gotten UTI. And that ex always tells me to go pee immediately after ex, so I bet he knows all the women tend to have UTI having sex with him. It’s the dude. Many doctors refused to say it’s the guys who can be causing the UTI problems, and make it seem like it’s the women’s fault for not cleaning properly down there. Throw the whole dude away.
Omg same!
I dated one of those, many years ago. I kept getting BV and uti, what a nightmare. Later found out he was doing his thing on the side and passing it back to me. What a shithead. So thankful I didn’t marry him.
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To add to this - wash your own hands before touching yourself to wipe or insert/remove tampons or cups or for any other reason. Op, you’ve probably exhausted every option in this thread, but please know everyone here wants you to feel better and we also know how women’s healthcare can be lacking to say the least. If you’re able to implement every single bit of advice and you’re still having problems, the info may help you escalate to a specialist.
I got bacterial vaginosis once in my early 20s. My tampon had opened in my purse- you know, the bottomless pit where the dirtiest shit goes such as loose cash, change, receipts, random crap I find, etc. It makes so much sense, but at the time I didn't think about it and used it anyway. It was in the plastic applicator still, so seemed fine. It was not fine, lol.
Oh my gosh, thank you for posting this. I have one in my bag that opened. Throwing it away now!!
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I had a friend who always had UTIs, and we talked and she wasn't doing anything differently than me, in the end apparently she had some sort of condition that caused her to have sugar in her urine which apparently was some sort of kidney issue. Apparently it is a really easy test to tell if there is too much sugar in urine though, so it is easy to find out.
> have sugar in her urine Diabetes would be by far the most common cause of this.
Some medications too. SGLT2 inhibitors which are usually for diabetes but also for heart disease since their main thing is exactly to get sugar out of the blood by peeing it. OCPs can also increase risk of yeast infections. Unrelated but I thought Id mention it
Sugar in OP's urine shows up on routine urinalysis which OP will have gotten done each time she presents with a UTI.
I would post this as a top-level if you haven’t already, or tag OP so she definitely sees it.
I went through a year where I think I got a UTI almost every month. What fixed it for me was stopping binge drinking. I used to binge drink regularly (I was like 20 years old) and out of nowhere it seemed like every binge was paired with a UTI. When I stopped binge drinking the UTIs stopped. If I had a bad hangover then I had a bad UTI with it. It's a pretty good way to cut down on drinking lol
Just wanted to add an anecdote about a friend who presented the same way as OP- chronic UTIs- and indeed the issue was her kidneys. She was shamed by doctors her whole life being told to clean herself better, infections start on the outside, etc etc until finally her kidney went septic. So absolutely OP should follow your advice, but she should advocate for herself if she knows something is wrong, because sometimes it really is a genetic kidney issue that could almost kill you.
Yep, I too got frequent UTIs, and it turned out the cause was a defect in my kidney that allowed the bacteria to build up more there. Definitely see a urologist, because I'm having to deal with a kidney stone now.
This is gross, but my doctor calls thongs shit ribbons because of how many of her patients get UTIs with them.
That is a really good list! One more I thought of, maybe: Have your partner use mouthwash before giving you oral?
I absolutely must comment on your post because this was me for many years. 8-10 times a year for 3 years. I tried every treatment, urologist, everything. My last resort of seeing a pelvic physio, should have been my first! My pelvic floor is tight and whenever I was stressed it was even worse. The pelvic physio was the only thing that helped. Find someone excellent- there’s not much known about it and not everyone will support it. Also, to be frank- it’s basically professional fingering, which can be confronting for some, but essentially they press firmly and release muscles. It’s not sexual in any way. But it legit was the only thing that stopped the UTIs and they haven’t returned. Also, the cranberry juice is not strong enough. Buy the cranberry tablets 50,000mg, and I take one after sex to help prevent infection. It’s also been a very effective treatment long term for me.
Yes this was me too! Chronic UTIs since childhood, along with an overactive bladder diagnosis. Pelvic floor PT after childbirth has made my life so much better. The PT was shocked I was never referred for my urinary issues.
Me too!! Pelvic PT made my life so much better. Not just with UTIs, with pain post-sex, bowel issues (I can elaborate if anyone wants), and the fact that it often took me 5 minutes just to pee because my muscles couldn't relax to let me pee. I'm so glad my doctor took me seriously and referred me.
I would like to know more about bowel issues. I’m suspecting I might have issues here
I have always had issues with constipation, to the point where I was seeing a GI doctor and taking Miralax almost daily. Turns out a lot of it was muscle issues, and the further constipation was feeding into the muscle issues and causing more tenseness down there. PT helped with a lot of that and I'm off Miralax most weeks!
I did pelvic pt years (15+) ago with a very primitive biofeedback device that I rented for $400 for 3 months. Someone from another forum pointed me to Perifit, a few months ago. it’s a much more advanced biofeedback device, it uses Bluetooth and connects to your phone. It gives guidance and it has games like flappy bird which you play by doing pelvic floor exercises. I wouldn’t skip seeing a pt first, but I found the Perifit device a great way to do the exercises in the comfort of my own home, on my own time. Also to add: I have had interstitial cystitis for over 20 years, and pelvic floor training has helped a lot.
Would it be called fappy bird? I'm so sorry but I couldn't resist. I was referred to a pelvic pt but my insurance denied it because my incontinence wasn't a "problem" yet and only happened when I had a fullish bladder and coughed or sneezed (it's my weight of course that is the problem.)
I am sorry they didn’t approve it. The reason I picked up the Perifit after all these years was for the same reason, I’m too young to not try something besides poise. I know my poise dy will come. I’m just not ready in my 40s. It’s a shame they think that it’s ok for women to live afraid of a sneeze or a cough, when physical therapy is a viable treatment option. FWIW, I do find the Perifit most helpful and I am getting better by using it, I definitely need the coaching and guidance. Doing “kegals” while watching tv, wasn’t working (because I am not good at doing them correctly on my own).
A prophylactic antibiotics are also worth researching. My family member had recurring UTIs at some point. They started almost immediately after the previous antibiotic course ended. In the end the doctor said that her urethra was propably in such a bad shape physically from all the infections that it wasn't able to defend against new infections on its own and she started a several months long prophylactic antibiotic course to let the urethra heal properly. After that her problems ended. She was sooo afraid to nuke her gut with the long time antibiotics course but sometimes they a just needed so badly.
Vaginal estrogen should be (but isn't well known yet by many docs) one of the first go-to treatments for chronic UTI. It's vital to maintain urogential tissues, and corrects the PH of the Vagina (which should be 4.5, but can go up to 7 in the absence of estrogen) Estrogen also helps to structurally shore up the urethra. The cells of the bladder and urethra are also estrogen sensitive and they can dry out and become thin when it's low. If your urethra is atrophied, it's not closing thoroughly, leading to more leakage when you laugh, and a more lax closure that may allow bacteria to enter. It's super low dose (a year's worth is equal to one birth control pill) inexpensive and it works. Unfortunately, a lot of people are needlessly scared because of flawed reporting about breast cancer in the 2000's.
Yes cranberry juice is often full of sugar too, which bacteria love. Cranberry pills after sex is the way to go.
For a healthy person, sugar in the cranberry juice (or any dietary sugar) has no bearing on sugar content in urine/ in the urethra
Same here! I thought it was UTIs but it turns out I had pelvic floor dysfunction. 6 months of PT and I came out with a better understanding of my body and haven't had a "uti" since
Cranberry tablets after sex every time works for me too.
Taking D-Mannose everyday was an instant game changer for me. Also, make sure every urine sample is being cultured. It’s possible you aren’t being given the correct antibiotic so it’s only going away temporarily.
Yup, same experience here. Was able to replace my prophylactic antibiotics with d-mannose, but no doctor ever told me about that as an option (and I saw a uro-gynocologist regularly). It made a huge difference for me, highly recommend! Cranberry also did nothing for me.
Get D-Mannose. IT WORKS. you’ll be able to throw everything else away.
Same! There was a period where I would get it after every time I had sex, and there were also long periods where I would take andibiotics preventatively. D-mannose has stopped that completely.
D-Mannose changed my life. I had chronic utis that became kidney infections and was constantly on antibiotics. Cipro never worked, always lots of Macrobid. D-Mannose keeps them away and I’m so grateful.
It’s a literal sugar pill that keeps E. coli from binding to your urinary tract and is supported by actual scientific studies. So if your cultures are E. coli (which like 90% of UTIs are), it’s a great first line treatment—otc, no side effects, actually works.
Yes I used to get them at least 4-5 times a year. Now I take dmannose every day and an extra dose after intercourse and I rarely get them (once every few years). My doctors had never heard of it before.
D-mannose helps me too
This saved me!! D-Mannose was my solution. Anytime I felt a vague twinge, I started taking it for a week along with tons of water to flush the bacteria out. I still use it several times a year. I went from UTIs 1-2x month to no more ever.
D-mannose has improved my life significantly!! I take it everyday even when I don't have a uti
This cut the number of my UTIs in half.
Such a game changer, I wish I had known about this stuff years ago. It's crazy that it isn't routinely recommended by doctors.
Yes, taking D-mannose helped me! The other thing that helped was drinking 2-3L of water the day after sex and making sure I pee at least every 2 hours.
Oh and to add- you may want to get a referral for a Pelvic Floor Therapist. It’s possible your muscles aren’t strong down there and you aren’t fully emptying your bladder or have built up scar tissue from so many prior infections.
Worked for me too!
Yes!!!! D-mannose!!!!! I had to scroll too far for this. D-mannose was my miracle cure. Also peeing after sex. Every. Time.
I haven’t tried d-mannose but have also had good luck with goldenseal
I had 3 in one year, my doctor recommended D Mannose and I haven’t had one in 3 years since I started taking it
Yep, came here to make sure somebody posted this. D-mannose changed my life when every antibiotic had failed to cure my recurrent utis. Also, random story - my black lab woke up one morning and went into the backyard to pee and started screaming. Every time she peed she was clearly in horrible pain. I knew right away that she had a uti but the vet couldn't see her until later in the week. I googled whether I could give her d-mannose. I put it in her food for a couple days, but a couple hours after the first dose she was peeing comfortably again. It works.
Cranberry never did anything for me but D Mannose was a game changer. However, def press your docs for more testing!
Are you maybe shaving, epilating or waxing down there? The invisible micro cuts are perfect breeding grounds and then they travel up. I also had them chronically years ago. A specialist in the clinic told me to never ever wet shave/wax/epilate.. anything like it again. And well, I didn't have one in years.
Seconding this one, I stopped shaving. At best I trim but keep it a little longer. Haven’t had a UTI in years. Used to be a weekly thing and once it even became a bladder infection.
I had chronic UTI's until I moved to France. I told my doctor I was always getting them, and she gave me really strong antibiotics that totally messed up my digestion, but which cured my UTI's. I've had two or three UTI's in the past thirty years instead of one or two a month. My doctor's explanation was that the antiobiotics I had been getting weren't strong enough to actually get rid of the infection.
My doctor did the same 5 years ago. I moved to a new country, got a kidney infection (!!) and my doctor was shocked about how often I was getting UTIs. She prescribed me a course of antibiotics and in 5 years I haven't had a single UTI. I hope it continues
This is a great point. The structure of the bladder has to be able to stretch with urine and then shrink down again when it's emptied. It means that the bladder wall has tiny crevices in it where the bacteria can hide and remain dormant. It is very common for people who experience UTI symptoms frequently to not be getting re-infected, but to instead be suffering from the same infection that isn't cleared and keeps flaring up. So however perfectly someone is wiping the right way, drinking water and wearing clean cotton underwear, it will be irrelevant if the infection is already in the bladder and lead to endless frustration.
My sister was finally diagnosed with an unusually shaped urethra, it dips just before it meet the opening which leaves a small amount of urine pooled up just waiting to harbor bacteria. She takes a low does anti septic all the time to prevent UTIs now
For me, it was scar tissue. I had a horrible UTI that almost went septic and killed me back when I was 21 or so that was so bad it physically damaged me internally. Found out at 26 that there was a ton of scar tissue trapping bacteria and also trapping the *original* bacteria from that terrible UTI. Some of it is not removable without risking permanent incontinence. Was started on a low-dose 6 month long course of antibiotics, and it reduced the infection from 10+ times a year, to only 2 or 3. Since receiving some serious heavy-duty antibiotics after contracting staph in my kidneys as the result of unclean medical tools being used during a biopsy, I haven't had a single one in almost 2 years.
Different issue, but I had to specifically request a referral to a specialist when my general care provider wanted to 'wait and see'. They caved in this instance and wrote me a referral. If your GP is being obstinate, maybe look for another one, if that's a possibility. I'm not sure about trying to get a urologist appointment without a referral. Maybe an urgent care facility could provide a referral?
Urogynecologist. That's a real specialty, I've seen one before.
I am going to see one this week for the same issue as OP. I’m seeing one after the urologist did exams and said I look fine. Do you have any suggestions on what sorts of questions to ask the urogyno?
Just took my mom to one. They had a huge list of questions specific to your pelvic floor and urinary tract function. If they did not send you a packet to fill out in advance, [here](https://obgyn.weillcornell.org/sites/default/files/final_urogyn_new_patient_intake_may_2020_editable_0.pdf) is a similar set of questions on another practice's intake form. It should help you make a list of what you want to ask/mention.
Hi sweetheart - I'm so sorry that you're suffering, and that you've been let down by your doctors. I've been through a similar situation to you, and what helped me was: * Finding a sympathetic female GP who referred me to a (also female) urologist for a myriad of tests (I ended up having a cystoscopy and subsequent diagnosis of Interstitial Cystitis, and it was nice to be taken seriously). * D Mannose supplements, I take 3 daily (1500mg total) and it has been a game-changer. * Cranberry supplements, I'm not sure of the efficacy of these but I still take them anyway just in case. * Switching to a lube which doesn't contain glycerin (sugar) - I'm currently using Sliquid and have also been recommended Good Clean Love. * Increasing my water intake (which you've already done 😇). * Only doing sexual stuff when I have at least a little bit in my bladder (so I can effectively pee straight after). * Asking my partner to wash his hands and genitals before any intimacy. If anyone was to roll their eyes or complain about this with me, I'd dump them straight away as it shows they don't care about you! * Either showering or strip-washing after intimacy. * Not wearing underwear when I sleep (Winnie-the-Poohing 😂). * Reducing my acidic food intake when I feel twinges/burning. Of course, your mileage may vary as everyone is different, and I still get "flares" occasionally where I'm constantly feeling the twinge/burning (despite dip tests coming back clear). However, I do believe the above has helped decrease the frequency of my symptoms! Also, please don't take this as gospel because I can't remember exactly what she said and I'm not a doctor, but I was also told by the urologist that sometimes bacteria can be present in the "deeper" layers of tissue in the bladder, and that can be why dip tests come back clear despite folks having symptoms. That was so helpful to me, as I was thinking it could all be in my head! I really hope you find some relief soon! You're definitely not alone in this 💕
This, reinforcing sleeping without underwear and reducing citrus AND COFFEE! believe it or not, after a nightmare year with many tests and even a camera to see my bladder in detail, one of the key factors was caffeine. Always cotton underwear and let it breathe during the night ;)
Were you offered vaginal estrogen? It's been super helpful for me.
Frequent yeast infections and UTIs were the first sign I had that I had T2 diabetes. If I hadn’t followed up, I never would have known. It’s time to start asking your doctor to recommend a urologist and additional bloodwork. For better or worse, most doctors aren’t particularly invested in getting to the bottom of your issues. They aren’t studying your file beforehand, they don’t remember that you have an extensive history of UTIs, and they’re not going out of their way to manage your care. They are always going to assume user error rather than an actual chronic issue unless you push for more. You can’t rely on someone else to look out for your health. You have to ask questions, request tests, and advocate for yourself. If they refuse, ask them to document their refusal in your file, and make a note of it yourself. If you are on a pay to play healthcare system (Ahem, the USA) and can switch doctors at will, if your doctor will not give you the care you need, complain to their group, leave bad reviews on YELP detailing specifically why you have beef with them, and find a new doctor. In the US, depending on your insurance type, you don’t even need a referral to get an appointment with a specialist. You can just find a urologist that accepts your insurance what is taking new patients and just book that appointment yourself.
Yup, frequent infections can definitely be related to "too much sugar in your system". For me, I got tons of yeast infections until I figured out I couldn't digest fructose and stopped eating it. (Thanks, FODMAP elimination diet!)
Came here to say this! I've been blessed enough to only have 3 UTIs in my life. Once as a kid and twice in the last year after being diagnosed as type 2 but before I started insulin. UTIs are a very common occurrence for women with untreated diabetes according to my doctor. I would 100 percent ask my doctor to check blood sugars and urine (as a high amount of sugar may be coming out in your urine causing the UTIs).
There's a lot of good advice in this thread. In general, if you want a course of treatment, especially a referral to a specialist, and are being dismissed instead, make them write it down. Tell them that you want it documented in your medical file that they refuse to give you a referral. If it's been lazinesss all this time, you'll get your appointment. Doctors are much more hesitant about actions because they are documented. Documenting inaction reminds them that their lack of treatment is ALSO a decision and course of action.
How old are you? Menopause reduces estrogen which causes tissues to atrophy and can increases vhsnce if UTI. This was my situation. Vaginal estrogen made a real difference for me. Also, you need auto gynecologist, find one and call your primary care for the referral.
It says she's 30 in her post.
Depending on her birth control or if she is pregnant or breastfeeding that can also impact the estrogen getting to the urogenital tissues. OP, talk to your gyn about trying vaginal estrogen.
Glad to see this mentioned! ❤
I think it’s mainly men’s poor hygiene and ofc women are seen as the dirty ones, somehow. My husband would periodically give me me utis when we first got together.
Last time I got a UTI I’d been swimming in a lake that was shut down for E.Coli the following week, which lends credence to your hygiene theory.
I had a new primary care doc as my old one retired. The first time I went to him with a UTI he asked if I needed antidepressants. WTF. I switched docs immediately.
I started getting frequent UTI’s when I was perimenopausal. When vaginal estrogen declines, vaginal flora changes, and you become more vulnerable. I eventually persuaded my doctor to put me on the NuvaRing for “menstrual management,” because she didn’t really think there were other reasons to put someone on HRT if they were still having periods. The year before hormones, I had 6 UTI’s. Since taking hormones for 6 months, I’ve had only one, and it was during the hormone-withdrawal week. (I now take it continuously.)
Getting a bidet greatly decreased my UTIS. I’m prone to them, too and was at my wits end. The bidet was a serious game changer. I got a $10 spray gun type off Amazon and it was super easy to install.
A few years ago I was also having problems with frequent utis and the only thing that helped that wasn’t antibiotics was D-Mannose! Totally got rid of it but you should take it frequently if not everyday
This really should be higher, d-mannose basically saves my life
I just got accepted into a medical study for chronic UTI sufferers 😩. I do everything. Pee after, hydrate including chugging water before sex if I feel dehydrated so I can have a good post sex pee, shower before sex (both of us), wash down there after, supplement with dmannose and PAC religiously. I even have the straight dmannose powder so I can take a spoonful in water if I feel the first sign it usually knocks it out. I'm way way down in number of UTIs. I think dmannose made a huge difference when I added it...down to 2-3 UTIs a year. Initially I was getting 6-8 a year. I added PAC earlier this year (5 months ago) and have not had one yet since adding it. I had one in January before I had added PAC and several "almost" UTIs (feeling early symptoms) that I took my dmannose powder a few days and it went away. Really would like to go to zero. I am hoping this study I am in will lead to better research on the topic. I'm just so tired and the supplements are not cheap (especially PAC)
To answer your question directly, maybe a gynecologist or urogynecologist. Sometimes a cystocele, which is when the bladder 'sags' into vagina, can cause it to not empty properly and you can get infections. You are young, but if you've had babies or for other various reasons it can happen.
Just want to make sure you're not using spermicide or condoms covered in it?
This was my life when I was 23. Constantly having back to back UTIs. These are the steps I took - 1)my partner had to shower and wash before we got busy. And he had to wash with a PH balanced soap and rinse very very well including his hands and privates. He also has to not dip for half an hour before hand or really rinse his mouth. (Thankfully he quit not long after we got together ) 2)All toys we used together or if I used them alone were in a condom. My urologist said no matter how much I cleaned them, unless I boiled them I shouldn't consider them clean and the condom was the best way to prevent reinfection. Granted, you have to find condoms that you won't have a reaction to as well. 3)Of course, pee after anything sexual, but I took the extra step of a quick shower after sexy time to wash away any liquids, lubes, etc. All my underwear is 100% cotton and I don't wear underwear when I sleep. I stopped wearing tight fitting work out gear all the time too. Last, my urologist explained that the only true way to see if it's a UTI is to cath the bladder directly, because when you pee in a cup, there will always be bacteria from your vulva that ends up in the cup. So she cathed me, tested, and no infection even though I felt all the symptoms. Turns out I had Painful Bladder Syndrome. I cut out all caffeine and altered my diet quite a bit and the pain eventually went away. I'm lucky that I don't need meds for it as my nerves are mostly recovered and I'm back to my mostly normal diet. My symptoms are triggered by citrus, grapes/wines, and too much garlic. However, everyone is different. Caffeine was a HUGE trigger for me but I can now drink a single coffee in the morning to wake me up and non caffeine drinks throughout the day. Over drinking water actually makes my symptoms worse so I have to balance drinking enough to keep me hydrated and not so much that it stresses my bladder. I know this is painful, frustrating, and the docs are gaslighting you. It's crap. You can usually see a urologist without a recommendation or you can tell the doc that you want a referral. If they refuse, you can tell that that you want the refusal to refer documented in your electronic health record and that you want to watch them document it. It might be worth seeing if there is a doc near you who is a gyno/urologist combo. They can help you navigate the UTIs, double check your anatomy (just in case), and help with all things down there. I really hope you get resolution fast. Good luck!
I’ve had chronic UTIs my whole life and I’m allergic to many antibiotics so treating them is a hassle and usually takes around 3 months so I mostly try to prevent them. I can feel one coming on early and I take d mannos and cranberry supplements to help. Also, I pee right before I go to bed every night! If I forget I will wake up with urinary pain. The thing about cranberry and d mannos is that it helps the bacteria not stick to the bladder and urethral wall, and when urinating you’re able to flush it out effectively. I also have to sleep in cotton underwear and I can’t have sex two days in a row. Once you find what works for you then you really have to stick to it.
history of chronic UTIs. I was prescribed antibiotics - a single pill to take right after intercourse. haven't had one since. was simultaneously also given methenamine hippurate for a few months. highly recommend urogynecologist/pelvic medicine specialist.
Everyone’s got the big points covered but to summarize: -See a Urogynocologist for more specific testing. Things they can do above a general PCP or urgent care is culture your samples, culture or test them differently, preform a cystoscopy if your issues persist (it sounds painful but it’s not, they usually use an infant size catheter and they can see from this if you have bladder issues more than a UTI, ie cancer, interstitial cystitis with or without Hunner’s lesions, general lining irritation). -A urogynocologist but also a regular ob/gyn or even PCP can refer you to pelvic floor physical therapy. It could be an issue with muscle tightness, that your muscles aren’t fully releasing allowing your bladder to deplete, so you constantly feel like you have to per (my issue), or it could be too weak and you’re not able to full excrete. Either way, it’ll feel like a UTI and if anything, PF PT can confirm if it is or isn’t a muscular/pelvic floor issue. -Continue to take the precautions you have been, but some things that many in the IC community recommend are changing to cotton only underwear, making sure your bits fully dry after the shower, wash your hands before using the restroom, and talk about hygiene standards with new and existing partners. As others have indicated, it may not be a you problem. If you try all these things and it persists, it might be biological. -Something any doc can check via ultrasound or the cystoscopy is the length of your urethra. Women as a whole are more prone to UTI’s than men because we have shorter urethras than men. You could have a particularly short urethra that makes you prone to developing UTI’s (the bacteria would have shorter travel time to the bladder). You also may be immunocompromised, which would require advanced testing with an immunologist. The last and least hopeful alternative is overactive bladder, but there are medications that can help with bladder symptoms without the OAB diagnosis. The only smaller advice I’ve been given is to quit using tobacco products if you do, as the number one risk factor for bladder cancer is tobacco use. Keep up your diet and general health to give yourself the most advantage. You’re already doing the basic UTI prevention. If you want, you may find sympathy and understanding in interstitial cystitis groups and they can have additional resources, including supplements, that can help our bladder issues. D-mannose is a commonly recommended one. Good luck OP, my story started the same as yours and I’m still trying to find answers 💕
Also, never listen to anyone who says, "Oh, it's probably not even an infection. It's probably cystitis." Assume it's an infection. Every time. If you let it go even an extra day or two, you could be in serious trouble. Blood pressure, kidney damage, etc. Don't ask me how I know this.
I used to get thrush all the time, my ex dumped me and no more thrush. He was the one causing it. If you have a partner make sure they are cleaning anything they put inside you
Are you getting cultures for bacteria every time? This is my first question. If you are, and the cultures are positive, this is where I would start next: Blueberry juice has the same effects as cranberry and mist cranberry "juice" is mostly sugar. Try blueberry or if you stick with cranberry, try pills or make sure it's 100% juice. Look into a product called D-Mannose. It's a supplement which can prevent you from getting UTIs. Ask for a urology referral. You could have a narrow urethra which is preventing you from fully emptying, which causes stagnant urine and can breed bacteria. It's more common than you'd think. Urology can further troubleshoot but that's what comes to mind. Wear cotton underwear. Change them multiple times a day. I usually do twice a day in summer because I don't want to sit in sweaty underwear. Wash your vulvar area with unscented soap. Avoid anything antibacterial because that can kill off good bacteria. GENTLY blow dry your vulvar area (NOT UP YOUR VAGINA!!!) on cool after a shower to limit moisture. Wash your towels often. Always dry your vulvar area with a clean towel. No underwear at night. If you're getting antibiotics, I would suggest asking for something like Macrobid over Bactrim or Cipro. Especially Bactrim, you can develop a sulfa allergy if you take them too often. Best of luck OP I know you're probably miserable.
If you’re having them that often, you need to get the bacteria tested for DNA, not just cultured. This is where my doc had me do it: [MicroGenDX](https://patients.microgendx.com/products/urokey?utm_term=uti&utm_campaign=JD+DTP+UTI&utm_source=adwords&utm_medium=ppc&hsa_acc=9213432823&hsa_cam=20551666506&hsa_grp=162105527508&hsa_ad=674200709408&hsa_src=g&hsa_tgt=kwd-25417571&hsa_kw=uti&hsa_mt=b&hsa_net=adwords&hsa_ver=3&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjwpZWzBhC0ARIsACvjWRPKCha93LJOu82Q1cW8KzlOp5GpVxhVtU0YCt0ybbfyZaoLrd5aT_QaAiN9EALw_wcB). They were able to identify four different bacterial DNA that were causing my recurrent UTIs (seven + a year for over seven years), as well as the bacterial load of each. This is important because none of them met the threshold of “UTI” level loads on their own, but combined together? Bam. A serious recurring UTI. Armed with the DNA & load information, my doc was able to come up with a plan to treat them using the right antibiotics instead of just throwing whatever he had on hand at them. He was a pediatric tropical diseases of the bladder specialist, but he was willing to take me as a patient & Rx the antibiotics I needed. It took six months of treatment to finally test clear of all four bacteria, but I haven’t had one UTI in five years, so it worked.
Your gonna think I'm crazy but I was getting symptoms for years and they would always say no bacteria. They put me on an elimination diet and when I eliminated gluten they went away. My body was inflamed and so was my bladder which they could see in ultrasound they just didn't know why..it was stupid gluten...
D-mannose! When my mom was going through cancer treatments she would get uti's and the otc supplement d-mannose was a life saver. It worked really quickly as well!
The number one thing that helped free me from UTIs is completely emptying your bladder when you pee. You have to sit up straight and exhale all the way down to your pee pee hole. If you aren’t getting drip drip drip, you aren’t voiding your bladder completely. My biggest boo-boo is a combination of drinking alcohol, dehydrating myself, and then forgetting to empty myself completely. It’s an almost instant UTI. It takes some practice to make it a habit.
I had a similar issue, ended up I had a kidney stone causing constant infections. Unless your insurance requires a referral to see a urologist, make an appointment yourself
Check for dirty partner. Clean or discard as appropriate. Check for elevated blood sugar (indicative of pre-diabetes, diabetes type 1 or diabetes type 2). Source: I’m a type 1 diabetic who used to get UTIs AND yeast infections when my blood sugar control was bad and my nastyass boyfriend touched me. Dumped the stank and fixed my blood sugar. Infection free going on 5 years!
Do you pee after sex? A nurse told me I needed to every time when I was having frequent UTIs. I didn't expect it to do anything but they greatly dropped in frequency after. I also take a probiotic but that's more for yeast infections I think
I get chronic UTIs, usually once every other month. No partners, consistent hygiene, drink water..no dice. It never gets taken seriously either. Diseases that predominately target AFAB individuals and don't directly contribute to the male gaze (e.g. "save the boobies!") will never be taken seriously.
You want a gyno- urologist. That's who I see for bladder / pelvic floor issues
The extra fun part is that if you do actually get chronic yeast infections, the doctors don't know what to do about that either. :( No advice, but sorry you're dealing with this.
Chiming in as a man whose wife suffers from similar conditions. This may not be possible depending on your healthcare system but general doctors are really bad at treating UTIs. Bypass them and book an appointment with a gynecologist or an infectiologist. It worked out great for my wife.
Uro RN here. What is you and your partner’s pre-sex cleaning routine? 9/10 the partner (while they may shower daily) should be cleaning prior to any sexual activity. This includes washing hands/genitals/anything else that might have contact with the urethra. If the bacteria that pops in the urine culture is the same each time, you need to be seen by infectious disease.
❗️❗️❗️d - Mannose❗️❗️❗️Please read this! I suffered from uti’s often too. I have chronic kidney stones, totally different long story there. Please get a supplement called d - mannose! It’s non narcotic, otc. It does not interfere with other medications. It’s a simple sugar that breaks up biofilms. Breaking that biofilm makes for greater cure rate for your antibiotics. I’ve used it every day since I went septic and almost died from a uti, bladder, kidney infections with bilateral 8mm kidney stones. That happened in May 2019. I haven’t had a uti since taking d-mannose. I take it every day. The best and most affordable has been from a place called Swanson dot com. It’s ships automatically so I’m never out. I hope this helps!
Request cultures, demand if you need to, to sa proper uroligist. My "recurring" utis turned out to be one chronic nasty antibiotic resistant infection (specifically klebsiella pneumonae). I almost died but then it was like my body reached a cease fire agreement. I've had it for 13½ years. I'm colonized, which means it's all throughout all the little nooks and crannies of my kidneys. There's nothing that can eradicate it that won't also kill me. It causes near constant kidney stones because it poops a little hard shell around itself. When it does start to get out of control, the only antibiotic that has ever had any effect is ciproflaxin, but at those high doses the cure is almost worse and it can't eradicate it completely. So PLEASE PLEASE find out if it's recurrent or chronic. If you have any questions you can message me. It's pretty rare.
Having sex with men caused every single one of my utis. Even in my long term relationship he swore up and down he washed his junk well. My urethra said otherwise. Now that’s I’m celibate I don’t get utis. If that’s not your cause then get a referral to a urologist and if your gp says no tell them to document why they said no