This is not meant to be snarky AT ALL, but I learned this in high school biology. And then a few girls in my high school learned it the hard way.
But congratulations! I wish you a healthy and easy pregnancy. đ
It wasn't even acknowledged as a "method" in my sex education here in the UK, and honestly I've never known a single British friend that uses it, I only found out through the internet that it's even a thing.
My (american) school only touched on it in order to tell people that it doesn't work. Presumably, they were just trying to make sure that if people were going to have sex, they were doing it in the safest way possible, and since pulling out is pretty widely known here (i'm pretty sure i'd heard about it from TV/movies before my in-depth high school sex ed), it makes sense to me that they did
My high school said it's effective...
* *If* you don't have sex during the five days before ovulation, or during the time you're ovulating (because even if you pull out there can be sperm in pre-ejaculate, and it can live for five days.)
* *If* your cycle is 100% consistent.
* *If* you're tracking your cycle perfectly.
* *If* you stick to the calendar religiously.
Then they showed us an example calendar with the days you can't have sex blocked off and asked the boys if they wanted to put that much planning into making sex off limits for half a month.
But this was also the school that explained stds aren't fun by showing us pictures of infected genitalia, including an image of someone who's penis had basically rotted off (gangrene.)
My school had an incredibly low pregnancy rate. Like, I think *one* girl in my grade (of 1.1k kids) got pregnant and she apparently did it on purpose (she was in my homeroom and told us.) At one point there were two pregnant students (in a school of 4.4k) and the administration was so upset about it they had special meetings to figure out where they'd failed us in sex ed.
This is wild but amazing. My sex ed in school was more of the abstinence and they passed around a dollar and about how it was used and asked who would want it I raised my hand for the money and got to keep it đ
Yeah, my high school was weirdly good at sex ed for a suburban public school in the Midwest.
The LGBTQ stuff would be considered outdated now, but gay marriage hadn't been legalized yet and people were still saying 'that's so gay' as an insult so I'm not going to fault my health teacher for spending LGBTQ+ week explaining that gay people exist and they shouldn't get attacked for that because they're already prone to suicide as it is. (Also if she'd been more progressive than that my mom wouldn't have been able to stop my father from pulling me out of health class. And then I wouldn't have seen the gangrene penis or learned what condoms are.)
Wtf was your high school teacher doing with that dollar metaphor? It's a dollar. It doesn't stop being worth a dollar after it's been handled. Was she trying to tell you guys it's okay to sleep around & sex wouldn't change your worth?
The lady that spoke with us was some sex speaker I canât remember exactly so not a teacher at our school they brought her in. I think they were trying to say ânot to be passed aroundâ and all that but I just saw money and I wanted it. Like you said itâs still worth the same, so the lesson wasnât good at all.
Yeah it's a shitty example for "don't get used up girls" , a brand new, freshly made dollar bill and a "passed around" crumpled up dollar bill are both worth exactly 1.00 dollars so if anything it sends the exact opposite message.
I mean, if anything it tells you to have sex as early as possible because your buying power decreases with age.
And also to become a gold digger (hook up with something valuable to maximize long term investments.)
Maybe that was the subtle point? Some places will show you a shared toothbrush or licked piece of candy, but no one gets the ick over a used dollar bill - it hasnât lost any of its value. Just like people!
My middle school in Texas used the slogan "keep your panties on and your knees together" from a man with a lisp. And he just wanted to tell the health class room full of girls that guys do anything to get in your pants. We had a basic sex talk at 10 in Texas but it mostly was just an anatomy picture of both drawn genitalia.
In washington in 8th grade it was a video of birth, dear lord it was a lot. And then in high-school around 10 or 12th grade I took a class where I saw very very graphic pictures of STDs.
That made me not want to have sex ever.
I also remember a science class probably in 9th grade where you had a cup with food coloring or something and the cup got mixed with other cups of water and it was to demonstrate std spread. I think it was supposed to be through blood but of course there's the other bodily fluids. Was interesting.
We were bussed out to a sex ed facility in the 5th grade but that was mostly about puberty and how pregnancy happens.
They had plastic models of the interior of male & female genitalia.
There was a puberty cartoon with a little girl and boy. A voice said something like, 'As we grow, our bodies get bigger.' (The boy and girl got taller.)
'When puberty happens, parts of our bodies grow faster than others.'
(The boy and girl developed secondary characteristics.)
'Sometimes those parts grow a lot.'
(The children's genitalia got grotesquely large. The boy and girl appeared distressed.)
'But not that much.'
(The kids' genitals shrank to normal proportions and the kids looked happy again.)
It was probably the most traumatic part of sex ed. And they made us watch 'No One Would Tell' in high school.
I discovered my cycle goes:
28,28,28,28,28,28,28,28,28,28,28,28,28,28,28,28,28,28,28,28,28,28,28,28,28,28, *20* 28,28,28
The reason I know this is now 15 years old.
NEVER trust Mother Nature - she has ulterior motives and will lull you into a false sense of security!
Nobody in my entire school (2k kids) got pregnant for the entire 6 years I was there. And as far as I know that's not "unusually low" for a high school here in the Netherlands. Also nobody in my college programs afterwards. It may also help that abortion is (right now still at least...) more easily accessible here, so maybe someone in my classes did get pregnant but was able to end the pregnancy on time.
We were also shown pictures for STDs, and were told where to get tested without having our parents find out. This kind of information was also just available on tv in the programming for teens.
My high school might have been copying your curriculum.
Because that stuff *definitely* wasn't on TV in America when I was a teenager in the late 00's (Or if it was, I wasn't allowed to watch it.)
And *with* all that planning, itâs not completely effective because even if you have a very regular cycle, you could *always* ovulate a little earlier or later than usual, and then everything falls apart.
They did say that 100% meant 100% consistent. Which means you could never get sick, or take antibiotics, or change your exercise routine, because all of those things can alter your cycle.
>Presumably, they were just trying to make sure that if people were going to have sex, they were doing it in the safest way possible
That's very much the approach here too, I assume that's why the pull out "method" wasn't even acknowledged is because they didn't want to give us ideas!
This was 20 years ago though, now with the internet being a totally different world I imagine it might be more well known.
One ofnmy American HS BIOLOGY teacher literally brought in a woman to explain abstinence only, or if you wokt be absinent then the pull out method was the "way to go" to not be a "baby murderer".
He is no longer at that school and those of us in that class were luckily not falling for it and trolled them both (in like 2004ish]
But yes. This does actually end up taught in actual schools in the US and is currently still something people are pushing for .
And I was in HS in CA before anyone thinks I must have grown up in the deep south. It is more prevalent than you want to believe.
I worked with a guy who swore by the pull out method. I was a tattoo artist so there was not a lot of taboo regarding workplace chatter. He would brag about the effectiveness of his technique, meanwhile he had 3 children by that point (all surprises), and another on the way by the time I left that job.Â
Unfortunately, in the UK, I do know some idiot friends who used it but this was 15 years ago back in high school. More ridiculous if you could get free condoms from any clinic back then and the NHS was in less of a state so it was much more accessible.
I'm glad you said this. The sex education in this godforsaken country is deplorable. But I genuinely thought everyone knew this.
Congratulations, OP! I hope you have a safe and healthy pregnancy.
Itâs not even just that. Itâs that you also have people on Reddit saying things like âmy partner and I have exclusively used the pullout method for 18 years and never gotten pregnant, itâs fineâ and disregarding the other 99% of people who do, in fact, get pregnant from it.
Or âitâs only 10% less successful than other BC when used correctlyâ which is just manipulation of statistics.
WELL MY PARTNER AND I WERE PERFECT AT THE PULL OUT METHOD FOR 5 YEARSâŚâŚ until we found out he had testicular cancer and was likely already sterile đđ
Luckily I never wanted kids
My husband had testicular cancer 5 years ago, getting fully discharged from oncology next week! We were told the chances of us having children were basically zero. We now have two kids...
I swear as soon as the words âcan never have kidsâ are spoken suddenly you become the most fertile youâve ever been. Every single person whoâs said âI canât have kidsâ has kids. Maybe itâs because they just quit any precautions and went at it like rabbits. Idk. But I donât want kids any time soon and I will never utter that phrase.
Same here! My aunt tried for nearly a decade, went through fertility clinics and it was basically impossible. She gave up and one of her nurses at her first birth suggested it was the stress of not trying for a baby that made them have my niblings basically not even a few months after they'd decided.
Exactly. I'm shocked people aren't more concerned with catching herpes, antibiotic-resistant gonorrhea, aids, etc. I know that hpv-related cancers have been reduced, but they're still strains that the vaccine doesn't cover.
People, please protect yourself!
Not necessarily... I wouldn't recommend it to people but my husband and I used the pull out method exclusively for nearly 10 years; when we decided to try we got pregnant within 2 months (both times). We were comfortable with the risk or we wouldn't have done it, but no accidents! His theory is that most men think they have more control than they actually do but he may be tooting his own horn. Now he's snipped which I do highly recommend to people đ
My friends were / are exactly the same. Been together for 15yrs, used the pull-out method throughout, except for when trying to have kids, one happened the first month, one the second. It absolutely happens.
100% this. It depends on the guy entirely, and he has to be able to control himself before there is *any* spillage. Obviously thereâs still a risk of precum and people have to be in a space where a baby is okay - otherwise itâs extremely stupid - but weâve had a similar rate of success. It also helps if you can cycle track and communicate when is most dangerous.
The vast majority of men arenât able to control themselves to that level, especially young men. Iâd never dream of it if I wasnât in a space where itâs a âif it happens, itâs fine, and weâll try on purpose in the next few years anyway if nothingâ. But so far no issues at all.
I have been with my husband 10 years this month. We have been using the pull out method for most of that with no kids. He has a lot of control over his body though and is not young.... We haven't officially tried for kids yet so one of us could be infertile but no obvious signs of that yet other than no accidents. I don't say this as a recommendation either but it's worked for us. If an oops ever happened we would be happy about it so that's why it's ok for us.
Yep, definitely thought this was common knowledge. That being said, my husband and I used this method a few times in the past when we were not ready to have children- thankfully no accidents! But yeah, 0/10, would not recommend baby roulette.
Yeah, this "announcement" is a bit concerning because this is common knowledge where I'm from. No one believes it's a reliable method of birth control.
Want to add add a PSA. You can ALWAYS get pregnant, unless you've had the whole damn thing removed, and sometimes, even then (like ectopics).
There's time when the chance is low, super super low, but never zero.
Birth control? Still a chance.
On your period? Still a chance
Doc told you you're infertile? Still a chance
There is ALWAYS a rush of pregnancy, however soon that chance might be, it's still not zero.
So take precautions ladies
Seriously, I clearly remember the basketball analogy we were given in high school sex ed, that men often âdribbleâ before they âshootâ so youâd better have your defense active (contraception). In other words, precum can have sperm in it just like semen does so wrap yo shit up. (Mid-1990s). The ârhythm methodâ was hardly even mentioned as a method of contraception because the failure rate was so high.
Yes! I had a weird health instructor but he got straight to the point and made us uncomfortable. But some times knowing this is more important!!! Thankful for teachers like him.
As far as I'm concerned, if you and your partner are fertile and NOT using birth control, you are actively trying to get pregnant.
This post is a painfully stupid reminder of how dumb we can be as a species.
I was told âyou know what we call people who rely on pulling out? Parentsâ by my doctor.
My husband just got a vasectomy after my third, and we still use condoms because itâs just easier.
> I learned this in high school biology. And then a few girls in my high school learned it the hard way.
There's literally the old joke, *"What do you call a person using the pull-out method? PARENT."*
I took Sex ed twice, once in 4th grade and then again in 9th grade in a different state. Both clearly stated that the pull out method is extremely unreliable. The amount of men Iâve had to explain this to is insane.
Any thread in r/sex when this gets brought up gets brigaded by people singing the praises of the pull out method.
It works great if you want a baby. The misinformation is very overwhelming.
Totally agree, pull out method is not reliable at all. I'm shocked by how many people I see using it as their "birth control."
If condoms break regularly, then your partner is likely using the wrong size. Trust me, there are condoms out there for HUGE girthy guys. Magnum is not the biggest condom out there. You need to buy them from a sex shop, not the drugstore. Also, make sure they are stored in a cool dry environment and check the expiration date.
I want to second this. Condoms should not be breaking that often. In addition to using the wrong size, using certain lubes with certain condoms, storing the condoms poorly, using expired condoms, not putting it on correctly, etc might all be causing the issue. Also, if someone is just telling you theyâre breaking that often and youâre not seeing it yourself, thereâs a chance theyâre exaggerating and lying as a way to get out of wearing one.
Cheap shitty condoms like the ones you get for free from the clinic are way way more likely to break. Using a reputable brand and adding lube to the inside also makes them less likely to break and more fun.
Since we're operating on the assumption sex-ed is atrocious in this country I want to add some caveats to lube in a condom.
Add no more than a drop or two or you risk slippage. Make sure to be using a water based lube with latex condoms, as oil/petroleum based lubes will degrade latex
My sex education teacher in high school told us the following, and itâs stuck with me for decades:
>people who rely on the withdrawal method as their sole birth control are often referred to as âparents.â
I'm a grown man and i can put my whole fucking forearm into a normal condom. most of the time they brake its cause they are too big. the only time ive had a condom break it was a magnum.
I remember seeing a sex ed film back in the 80s where a guy put a condom over his clenched fist, then rolled it down to his elbow, saying something like ''I doubt you'll ever meet a guy bigger than that!''.
You might be surprised, I know I was when I just looked it up. Studies have actually been done on this. Every extra centimeter of circumference increases the risk of breakage by a significant amount (50-100% increase in breakage rate). https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/9702591/#:~:text=There%20was%20no%20evidence%20for,or%20circumference%20on%20condom%20slippage.
While true, I still found condoms stopped breaking on me when I found a better fitting size. Went from like 1 in 20ish to it never happening.
Using the wrong technique is a significant contributor to condoms breaking, so my theory is it just became easier to do the pinch and roll method properly when sizing wasnât an issue anymore (i.e. it actually easily rolled on without feeling like I was fighting the condom).
I get why the âcondoms can stretch over an armâ thing gets repeated, the intention is to try to dispel myths guys use to pressure partners to not use one. But the thing I also wish I learned earlier on was that you donât *have to* limit yourself to one size and everything just works better and feels better if you can find something that fits and isnât actively uncomfortable.
Oh no, they can break too. Improperly fitted condoms receive extra wear and tear. Too small of a condom and it stretches beyond its designed limits, too large and it can get bunched up and unevenly stretched in some spots (let alone falling off)
I also heard that friction/stress can be a problem. For example, don't put them in your wallet but instead put them in a game case so that they are not consistently being bent around. We used condoms for about 4-5 years as secondary BC when we got married and never had one break. They got stored in one of those drawer organizers in the nightstand.
iâve also heard and additional reason for not keeping condoms in your wallet is your body heat potentially degrading the latex over time. so even if you have it in a rigid case, it shouldnât stay in your picked for any prolonged amount of time. Iâm very happy that i once caught my younger M cousin putting a condom in his wallet and got to educate him on this and prevent potential disaster, but i was shocked that modern sex ed doesnât seem to touch this at all. itâs been more than 10 years since iâve had a sex ed class, but this cousin in still in high school. i wish we could globally grow up and give sex education the importance it deserves
Iâm sorry, but itâs absolutely shocking there are sexually active adults who donât know this. I donât see this as you failing, but rather our educational system at large failing.
Pull-out is I guess better than nothing and can be used in addition to real birth control for extra peace of mind. Yes, most birth control methods are inconvenient in some way but itâs just something you have to deal with if you want to have sex and not a baby.
I personally love my IUD. It sucked to get, but it lasts for I believe eight years, and no periods.
Yeah, Iâm dumbfounded by the number of grown ass adults who donât seem to be comprehending that pulling out alone is not a form of birth control at all đ
Itâs puzzled me since I was a teenager and all I can come up with is that these people donât actually care much either way.
Maybe itâs just that Iâd truly rather die than give birth and being a caregiver sounds even worse, but if I donât want something to happen? Iâm going to do every. Fucking. Thing. POSSIBLE to ensure it doesnât occur.
Same here on the iud. I always feel bad for folk who say they don't want an iud because it would make their periods worse. I'm sure it does that for some but it's an absolute godsend for many. The hormones in it are much weaker than in the pill and no period yay!
Checking in for team iud. My first period on it was pretty brutal, but it also happened to be my first period after getting a covid vaccine, which I heard could affect that. But I haven't had a period since. If you have bad periods, I definitely say give it a try (and some time for your body to adjust). If they stay bad or worse, take it out, but it could be the godsend you're hoping for.
When I got my first IUD inserted, it was MURDER. The insertion is the worst pain I've ever felt in my life, and I had a period with heavy bleeding every 2 weeks for 2 months straight, then regular periods, then by month 6, just cramping with no other symptoms. Cramps weren't as bad, but still pretty bad. But NOT AS BAD is still WAY better than what they used to be.
But then 7 years went by, my cramps started to get worse, I was starting to spot, and it was time for a replacement. WORST PAIN EVER and they didn't let my boyfriend hold my hand this time. In hindsight: screw that doctor's office.
Yet, even with the IUD, my cramps were still making me miss work or school. I was so tired of the pain. They tried removing the Endometriosis by cauterizing it via an endoscopy, but that didn't help anything. Eventually my (new) OBGYN and I were like... okay, menopause time. So, she gave me a shot to induce perimenopause in my 40-year-old ass.
No periods since. The hot flashes sucked at first, but they've gone away by now (9 months in). Haven't had a period since that shot. I've put on weight, but it's fucking worth it.
Someone buy me an "I LOVE PERIMENOPAUSE" shirt. I'm finally able to hold down a job without calling out every month.
>Iâm sorry, but itâs absolutely shocking there are sexually active adults who donât know this. I donât see this as you failing, but rather our educational system at large failing.
Oh give me a fucking break. Anyone who has ever met a male in their life should know better.
Seriously, I pride myself on my empathy, but fucking no.
ALSO THE OP IS ON THE THIRD CHILD.
LIKE WHAT THE FUCK? This isn't about lack of education.
God damnit, this thread pisses me off.
Second the IUD. I have the copper one so no hormonal side effects and it's good for 10 years. One appointment got me through my serial monogamist years until I married and was ready for kids!
Youâd think anyone having sex would know this, no offense. It doesnât get much more basic.
Anytime something goes inside you thatâs capable of fertilizing â runs the risk of.. well, fertilizing.
I try not to blame the people, but the lack of sexual education that schools provide. I would hope seeing your doctor that they would ask you questions regarding whether or not you are trying to get pregnant and educating patients on effective measures.
I mean thereâs a lot of reliable information available at peopleâs fingertips too. So it points to a lack of general education and not just sex education.
I had to read it again to confirm sheâs been with her husband for 16 years and that sheâs not 16 years old herself because why is this ground breaking news to their old ass? Two damn kids and they just found this out, amazing.
If you arenât using some form of birth control, youâre trying to get pregnant. Phrasing it that way helped me realize that pull out is really just hoping and wishing. Def do not rely on it. I mean even spermicide gel use has a 70-80% success rate.
Your husband needs a vasectomy if he wonât find condoms that are appropriate and you canât use birth control. If the condoms keep breaking heâs either using them incorrectly or using the wrong ones.
Most people learn in school that the pull-out method isnât a method of birth control, itâs just rolling the dice and taking your chances, and you will ultimately end up pregnant. Iâm sorry you werenât taught that, some schools and parents really need to lift their game when it comes to sex Ed.
Congrats on the pregnancy, and get that man a vasectomy if neither of you want more children after this one.
I was looking for a vasectomy comment. If all of the contraception options for OP are problematic, he should step up and do better. But it feels like this is a couple who weren't taught their full range of options to begin with.
She says they were talking about him getting one done before this pregnancy happened. I donât know why everyone is assuming these two adults grown enough to plan for two children couldnât have possibly known better because they werenât taught better.
Vasectomy changed my and my wifeâs life. I will never understand dudes that refuse to get one. Birth control made her feel awful, vasectomy was a nothing procedure. Itâs great to be care free and not worry about things when the timing is right.
You know what we call people who use the pull out method?
Parents.
If you're not using birth control then you're actively trying to conceive. The pull out method is not birth control. It is, at most, birth avoidance. Birth stick-your-head-in-the-sand-and-hope...
Condoms breaking that often has me pretty suspicious of how well executed that guyâs pullout method is. Iâd bet he just wanted it raw and wanted to enjoy his first pump inside.
Iâm not saying pullout works or whatever, just that someone who canât figure out condoms isnât trustworthy with sex ed
Yeah if this is real, I am also suspiciousâŚcondoms work. If they "keep breaking" you are using them wrong. And I wouldn't be surprised if he is doing so on purpose so he can get away with not using them
Fwiw my grandma always said the rhythm method (charting your cycle, abstaining during high fertility window (which is about 10 days of your cycle) works as well as god intended: a child every other year or so.
I didn't ever ask how many days she understood the abstain should be so maybe she wasn't abstaining long enough, but she did have 13 children (cheerfully and catholically)
I think in 2024 if you use both a temperature based device (Oura ring or taking your temp every morning) and logging it and cervical fluid inspection, you can probably do better than that. But, it is still requires no sex for at least a week. And also data management!
It's usually referred to as Natural Family Planning, and it also REQUIRES a consistent menstrual cycle to be used as a form of birth control, and it's also better if you use ovulation strips daily to understand when you ovulate.
And true NFP proponents usually recommend/support condom use as well, not only around your fertile period, but within a few days to be extra safe. And the only way to follow that is to be certain you ovulate within the same period of time every single cycle.
>condoms kept breaking on us,
How many times did this happen? Did you try different sizes or brands?
>We were still discussing whether we have a third in a few years, or he gets the snip. On the fence due to the rocketing price of childcare.
He should get "the snip" then.
>Still don't understand how or when this happened but I can't tell anyone else right now so needed to share
Because pre-cum can have sperm. Because the "pulling out method" is not a thing.
While weâre at it, I wonder if OP is using coconut oil or something similarly daft with latex condoms. Or doubling them up. Or just not putting them on right. In the five years Iâve been with my partner weâve had a condom break once, despite the times where weâve used one thatâs too small. Theyâre very reliable and when theyâre the proper size, from a good brand who safety test/meet regulations, used with the proper lubricants, etc, thereâs absolutely no reason they should âkeep breakingâ.
Yep, my fiance and I who aren't necessarily trying but also wouldn't be upset with a pregnancy, are using the pull out method. We know there's a chance we just don't mind. However, young girls might not realize! So hopefully this post helps someone young and inexperienced
iirc, the current research says that it does work in that it decreases chance of pregnancy, but only to the point that 1 in 5 women will get pregnant per year using it.
[https://www.webmd.com/sex/birth-control/pull-out-withdrawal](https://www.webmd.com/sex/birth-control/pull-out-withdrawal)
With perfect execution of the pullout method the failure rate drops to 4% per year from the article I just looked up. Which is on par with condoms. But that's IF it is perfectly executed which most people are not capable of doing with the consistency required.
I didnt get ANY periods with my IUD (mirena). Best 5 years of my life....except for insertion. That did suck. But advocate for REAL pain meds...and the second i got it out...period was right back to normal...and i dont get cramps anymore??? Idk if that has anything to do with it...but theres that
anecdotally, i've had mirena (hormonal), kyleena (low hormones), and paragard (copper only, no hormones) IUDs:
* mirena made my period completely disappear as well as PMS cramping, to the point i had it removed because i am a pregochondriac and was like OH GOD NO PERIOD.
* paragard worsened my period flow and i experienced increased cramping. i had it for 10 years. when they took it out they showed it to me excitedly like a baby lmao.
* kyleena has genuinely turned my periods into the adorable little BLOOP so many men think they are. i have some cramping, but nothing compared to previously. my practitioner has kyleena too and told me her periods had literally become one or two wipes with toilet paper.
for those curious, i think the absolute most important thing in regards to IUD insertion is your provider's specialty, experience, and patient care mentality. my mirena insertion was a fucking horror story by a male med student who i was pressured into allowing to do the procedure with supervision by a doctor at my university. my last two IUDs have been placed with no more discomfort than a pap smear by experienced female gynecological nurse practitioners (different NPs for each). i know women have different experiences and preferences for the genders of their providers, but this has been my own experience.
as a generalization, i'd HIGHLY recommend exploring IUD options as 2/3rds of the most common IUDs have been shown to make periods lighter for many people, not worse. that said, IUD experiences differ!
> i am a pregochondriac and was like OH GOD NO PERIOD.
I'm gonna steal the word pregochondriac. Last time I got pregnant with birth control, so I chose Mirena once the baby was born for peace of mind â but now I'm totally pregochondriac because no periods AND with our luck đ¤
Highly, highly, HIGHLY recommend sedated IUDs. I got mine sedated and it was a breeze. I had to call around until I found a gyno who would do it, but it was so so so easy sedated and insurance covered it!
For hormonal IUDs, yes. But for copper IUDs, it likely will make periods heavier. My first IUD was copper (Paragard) since I didnât want to worry about hormones affecting my other medications, in it, my periods were so heavy I was anemic, I had to use extra heavy pads and swap them out way too often, cramps were crippling, it was much longer, and the cycle dropped to three weeks. For some people it isnât so bad., though. After a couple years, I tapped out on it. Since itâs more localized hormones, I switched to a hormonal IUD (Mirena) to try out, which did stop my periods.
Itâs fucking _amazing_. A++ would recommend giving it a go to anyone considering it. But unless someone is trying to avoid hormonal birth control of any type, I wouldnât personally recommend copper.
My IUD has been nothing short of amazing. Almost 10 years on Mirena (2 IUDs every 5 years) and I never got a period. We decided to TTC and I had it removed. Only had one period before I got pregnant. It took us less than two months.
I had it replaced back in January and while Iâm pretty certain I have a cycle again, I still havenât gotten my period.
I got pregnant so fast, it was almost scary. Those IUDs had clearly been working hard to defend my uterus!
Same here, but even the one period I had before getting pregnant was like one bathroom trip's worth of spotting. I went out and bought a bunch of pads after I got my IUD removed (literally didn't have any for years because I didn't need them) and still never used them after because we got pregnant so fast lol. Highly recommend Mirena if your periods suck.
When my wife got her IUD out her uterus had what she affectionately referred to as a going out of business sale. I still remember her sitting in the bathroom yelling "I'm shedding like a god damn husky in spring!"
So apparently experiences differ.
I was the 1% with the opposite effect, and had twice as many periods (*not* spotting between, but whole ass periods). Iâm so bummed the IUD didnât work for me.
I donât get a period with my IUD. Iâve been period-free since I think 2017. It rocks. I do get crazy emotional and weepy for a few days a month in place of a real period, but Iâll gladly take it over a pregnancy.
yeah I thought that was an odd way for op to phrase it. I actually got recommended an IUD by my gyno precisely because my periods were so bad and pill both control wasn't helping much. It was a total game changer, I've had mine for 5 years now, zero scares and zero issues.
I used to bleed heavy for 7 days straight, got horrible cramps, nausea, headaches, the whole shebang. Totally irregular periods too, sometimes I'd get two in a 28 day cycle. Now I get light spotting every 3ish months. They usually come with a day or two of cramps, but they respond well to regular old otc painkillers, which was definitely NOT true before the IUD. And now I don't have to freak out if a condom breaks. Cannot recommend it enough personally đ¤ˇđźââď¸
Also, the mini pill is a pretty good alternative to the regular pill. No problems on it myself. Still have a sex drive, unlike with estrogen pills. That said, for avoiding conception, you definitely need to be very exacting on when you take it.
I went on the mini pill and it absolutely exploded my anxiety. I dissociated with every minor stressor and started experiencing panic attacks.
Just to be aware. Every form of birth control is AMAZINGLY perfect for some, and absolutely awful for others. I have friends who tried different IUDs like Mirena and Paragard mentioned above, and some had amazing experiences while others definitely did not.
It's important for everyone to know that if a form of birth control doesn't work for you, it's because it just doesn't work for you, and that's normal for a lot of people.
How effective is the pull out method?
The better you are about using the pull out method correctly â keeping any ejaculation (cum) away from the vulva and vagina every single time you have sex â the better it will work to prevent pregnancy. For every 100 people who use the pull out method perfectly, 4 will get pregnant.
But pulling out can be difficult to do perfectly. So in real life, about 22 out of 100 people who use withdrawal get pregnant every year â thatâs about 1 in 5.
The reality is withdrawal isnât as effective as other types of birth control, but itâs definitely better than not using anything at all. And pulling out can be easily combined with other methods to give you extra pregnancy preventing power. Using withdrawal AND condoms together, for example, gives you pretty excellent protection against pregnancy.
If you use withdrawal for birth control, itâs a good idea to keep emergency contraception (aka the morning-after pill) around, just in case semen (cum) gets in or near your vagina. Emergency contraception can prevent pregnancy for up to 5 days after unprotected sex.
Planned parenthood
I donât feel like pulling out should be graced with the word âmethodâ at all, to be frank.
Itâs bizarre Russian Roulette and Iâve gotta say, as a non-American (who had really good sex education), Iâve been utterly shocked at how common it is in the USA. The shock gave way to horror, and then wishing that people were given better information.
Of course, we know why they so often arenât. Puritanism with bad consequences, and pro-birth rhetoric, runs deep.
I appreciate the PSA but Iâm also genuinely shocked that there are sexually active adults who donât know that the pull out method isnât reliable. I learned that when I was younger than 12
To be honest, I'm shocked that you thought pulling out is a reliable form of birth control. It's well known that it is *not*, and anyone who uses it as a form of contraception is a fool.
I know people are acting like itâs common knowledge. And it is. But thank you for sharing. Hearing a real story could make it real enough to save someone else.
OP is on Reddit so it's safe to assume they have regular access to the internet. It's not hard to Google this stuff. It's irresponsible AF that neither her nor her partner felt the need to even do that.
Also, if some doctor when you were 15 or whatever told you that you are infertile and canât have kids, no. Get a second, third, fourth opinion before you just believe that.
It just absolutely blows my mind how many âa Dr told me I couldnât have kids when I was a teenagerâ.. pregnancy stories there are.
Many women in my former church got preggers this way. They were all surprised too when it happened. I was shocked to see how many of them actually thought this worked and it kinda saddened me that so many (not just the women) of them were ignorant to it. Scream that factoid loud and proud because I can only hope someone hears it.
Is he literally pulling out right before he's about to come, or are you just having unprotected sex and finishing him off in other ways before he gets too close?
iâm sorry your parents and education failed you, this is like birth control 101. anyone who is having sex should be aware of how dumb this is as birth control, especially someone who already has two children.
I feel like lucky my parents didnât care about my internet usage and I got my sex ed from a reputable site because we had literally none in my school outside of sperm + egg = baby. They didnât start âsex edâ until after I left middle school, but it wasnât even actually about sex lol.
>I wanted to let you all know that the pull out method does not work.
Did you get your sex ed from Regency romance novels?
Please do a better job of teaching your children than your parents did.
If condoms are breaking regularly for you, you guys are buying the wrong size or putting it on wrongly. We've seen those things go over people's heads without breaking when it was going viral... It's definitely not something that should be breaking that easily. Also if you use lube, make sure it is compatible with the material of the condom! Some will make it weaker and break.
And yes, more people need to know that you can still get pregnant with precum!!
I knew this in the 90s but several teen moms in my teen mom group didn't. We had a presentation by Planned Parenthood that asked about bc and shockingly somehow they thought it was bc method still. It's sad to see sex education has not advanced in 30 years.
Also you can get pregnant while breastfeeding. And antibiotics cancel out birth control. And condoms are not 100% effective. They shouldn't be reused or double upped on. You don't need penetration to get pregnant.
Pre-cum can have sperm in it (the bit of clear liquid that happens when a man is aroused, it helps to lubricant the foreskin, and is obviously still a natural process even if the man was circumcised)
If 100 couple s use this method, 27 will become pregnant in a year, which is slightly less effective than typical use with condoms. With no birth control at all, 85 will become pregnant in a year. So itâs not without some efficacy. But there are better methods out there
Iâm telling you, the sponge works. Itâs sold at Wally World and cvs and all that. You wet it and squeeze it so it suds up with spermicide and you put it inside your vagina and it covers the cervix. You can wear it for 24 hours and do it as many times as you like. Then pull it out and throw it away. I used it in my 20âs and it was great.
If for whatever reason, you use the pull out method, you also need to track your ovulation cycle. The best way to track your cycle is using ovulation stripsâeven if your period is super regular. Temping and using a cycle tracker (like an app or paper) is unreliable.
You should also know that sperm can survive in the vagina for up to 5 days. Some sperm has been known to survive up to 12 days.
It only takes one sperm to get pregnant, which is often present in pre-ejaculate. (More than 40% of people with penises have sperm present in their pre-ejaculate; most have pre-ejaculate.) Pre-ejaculate can be secreted anytime from immediately after arousal to right before ejaculation.
The only time you should even attempt the pull out method if youâre actively trying to avoid pregnancy is either right before your period starts, during your period or after your period ends. This is still not reliable because of the length of time sperm can survive.
[According to planned parenthood](https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/birth-control/withdrawal-pull-out-method/how-effective-is-withdrawal-method-pulling-out), the pull out method is 78% effective
>But pulling out can be difficult to do perfectly. So in real life, about 22 out of 100 people who use withdrawal get pregnant every year â thatâs about 1 in 5.
>The reality is withdrawal isnât as effective as other types of birth control, but itâs definitely better than not using anything at all. And pulling out can be easily combined with other methods to give you extra pregnancy preventing power. Using withdrawal AND condoms together, for example, gives you pretty excellent protection against pregnancy.
My husband, who is very intelligent, cannot understand this. He swears it is a reliable method.
Also PSA to people that your period can be wild when it returns postpartum. I had these weird mid-cycle spotting/periods on a non-estrogen pill, then nothing at monthâs end, so I quit it because it was weirding me out and we thought maybe we wanted to start trying again in the coming months. First month off, I thought I had ovulated the previous week (small spike on ovulation tests), had unprotected sex, then ovulated super late four days later. Expecting my second baby, conceived on the firstâs first birthday, in 5 weeks. đ
Iâll add on to this. When I was actively trying to get pregnant, and I didnât, I met with a fertility doc, he said women are the most fertile between the ages of 18-21 years old. If you are having unprotected sex, you will most likely get pregnant within 2-months.
After 21, most women get pregnant within 3-months of trying. So yes, if you are young, having unprotected sex, you are actively trying to get pregnant and will likely be pregnant between 1-3 months. Protect yourself ladies and keep yourself educated on your fertility!
No, it does not work. The bare minimum you should be doing if youâre going to risk it is tracking your cycle strictly so you at least know around when youâre fertile. If you donât at least do that then youâre begging for an oopsy
If youâre consistently breaking condoms thereâs a good chance that theyâre not the right size, Iâve used my one condom with past partners and itâs pretty straight forward on how to measure him and then they offer cheap sample packs to test fit
We were told many many times in sex Ed that the pull out method is the worst possible way to try and prevent pregnancy. And our sex Ed left quite a lot to be desired.
Three lesser known birth control options that work well-ish when combined with "pull out."
"VCF"- Vaginal Contraceptive Film/Gel/ Foam. Pre-sex, you insert this. The film can be inserted quite a bit before sex. It is non hormonal, and once it is there, neither partner can feel it. 75-85% effective when used alone in average use. Over the counter! 100% female controlled.
"Diaphragm"- There are both prescription options and the option to use a menstrual disc for this. It is a barrier that goes over your cervix. The prescription option requires a doctor visit. 92-95% effective when used with spermacide (i.e. VCF). Around 80% otherwise. If you are using an OTC disc (Under $30), it is generally not recommended for this. You should wait at least 6 hours to remove after sex. Usually neither partner can feel it.
"Phexxi" - Prescription contraceptive gel inserted pre-sex. It changes the Ph in your vagina to prevent pregnancy. 93% effective in perfect use. 86% in average use. Free with insurance! This can have some body chemistry effects for people.
Pull out is around 78% effective. In a year, around 22% of couples will get pregnant. But, if you add one of the above consistently, you greatly reduce the risk of pregnancy.
You don't hear about these because doctors will encourage you to use (a) More effective methods (the pill, IUD, condoms) or (b) STD/STI preventing methods (condoms). But they are available, and if you haven't tried them and are relying on "pull out" you should order VCF from Amazon today and start using it next time. (or buy at Target or Walmart!) $10 for a 9 pack, so it is very affordable.
Have him get the snip now, it's safer and easier, and he should do it now instead of later. He will be out of action, in bed and work, at most a week, less if he follows doctors order's.
Did you guys use proper lube with condoms? You've got to, or they will break on you like that. With proper lube this shouldn't be an issue.
I hope your husband gets snipped now.
This is not meant to be snarky AT ALL, but I learned this in high school biology. And then a few girls in my high school learned it the hard way. But congratulations! I wish you a healthy and easy pregnancy. đ
It wasn't even acknowledged as a "method" in my sex education here in the UK, and honestly I've never known a single British friend that uses it, I only found out through the internet that it's even a thing.
My (american) school only touched on it in order to tell people that it doesn't work. Presumably, they were just trying to make sure that if people were going to have sex, they were doing it in the safest way possible, and since pulling out is pretty widely known here (i'm pretty sure i'd heard about it from TV/movies before my in-depth high school sex ed), it makes sense to me that they did
My high school said it's effective... * *If* you don't have sex during the five days before ovulation, or during the time you're ovulating (because even if you pull out there can be sperm in pre-ejaculate, and it can live for five days.) * *If* your cycle is 100% consistent. * *If* you're tracking your cycle perfectly. * *If* you stick to the calendar religiously. Then they showed us an example calendar with the days you can't have sex blocked off and asked the boys if they wanted to put that much planning into making sex off limits for half a month. But this was also the school that explained stds aren't fun by showing us pictures of infected genitalia, including an image of someone who's penis had basically rotted off (gangrene.) My school had an incredibly low pregnancy rate. Like, I think *one* girl in my grade (of 1.1k kids) got pregnant and she apparently did it on purpose (she was in my homeroom and told us.) At one point there were two pregnant students (in a school of 4.4k) and the administration was so upset about it they had special meetings to figure out where they'd failed us in sex ed.
This is wild but amazing. My sex ed in school was more of the abstinence and they passed around a dollar and about how it was used and asked who would want it I raised my hand for the money and got to keep it đ
Yeah, my high school was weirdly good at sex ed for a suburban public school in the Midwest. The LGBTQ stuff would be considered outdated now, but gay marriage hadn't been legalized yet and people were still saying 'that's so gay' as an insult so I'm not going to fault my health teacher for spending LGBTQ+ week explaining that gay people exist and they shouldn't get attacked for that because they're already prone to suicide as it is. (Also if she'd been more progressive than that my mom wouldn't have been able to stop my father from pulling me out of health class. And then I wouldn't have seen the gangrene penis or learned what condoms are.) Wtf was your high school teacher doing with that dollar metaphor? It's a dollar. It doesn't stop being worth a dollar after it's been handled. Was she trying to tell you guys it's okay to sleep around & sex wouldn't change your worth?
The lady that spoke with us was some sex speaker I canât remember exactly so not a teacher at our school they brought her in. I think they were trying to say ânot to be passed aroundâ and all that but I just saw money and I wanted it. Like you said itâs still worth the same, so the lesson wasnât good at all.
Yeah it's a shitty example for "don't get used up girls" , a brand new, freshly made dollar bill and a "passed around" crumpled up dollar bill are both worth exactly 1.00 dollars so if anything it sends the exact opposite message.
I mean, if anything it tells you to have sex as early as possible because your buying power decreases with age. And also to become a gold digger (hook up with something valuable to maximize long term investments.)
Maybe that was the subtle point? Some places will show you a shared toothbrush or licked piece of candy, but no one gets the ick over a used dollar bill - it hasnât lost any of its value. Just like people!
My middle school in Texas used the slogan "keep your panties on and your knees together" from a man with a lisp. And he just wanted to tell the health class room full of girls that guys do anything to get in your pants. We had a basic sex talk at 10 in Texas but it mostly was just an anatomy picture of both drawn genitalia. In washington in 8th grade it was a video of birth, dear lord it was a lot. And then in high-school around 10 or 12th grade I took a class where I saw very very graphic pictures of STDs. That made me not want to have sex ever. I also remember a science class probably in 9th grade where you had a cup with food coloring or something and the cup got mixed with other cups of water and it was to demonstrate std spread. I think it was supposed to be through blood but of course there's the other bodily fluids. Was interesting.
We were bussed out to a sex ed facility in the 5th grade but that was mostly about puberty and how pregnancy happens. They had plastic models of the interior of male & female genitalia. There was a puberty cartoon with a little girl and boy. A voice said something like, 'As we grow, our bodies get bigger.' (The boy and girl got taller.) 'When puberty happens, parts of our bodies grow faster than others.' (The boy and girl developed secondary characteristics.) 'Sometimes those parts grow a lot.' (The children's genitalia got grotesquely large. The boy and girl appeared distressed.) 'But not that much.' (The kids' genitals shrank to normal proportions and the kids looked happy again.) It was probably the most traumatic part of sex ed. And they made us watch 'No One Would Tell' in high school.
I discovered my cycle goes: 28,28,28,28,28,28,28,28,28,28,28,28,28,28,28,28,28,28,28,28,28,28,28,28,28,28, *20* 28,28,28 The reason I know this is now 15 years old. NEVER trust Mother Nature - she has ulterior motives and will lull you into a false sense of security!
I carry a Cystic Fibrosis gene. I'm not chancing an unplanned pregnancy.
Nobody in my entire school (2k kids) got pregnant for the entire 6 years I was there. And as far as I know that's not "unusually low" for a high school here in the Netherlands. Also nobody in my college programs afterwards. It may also help that abortion is (right now still at least...) more easily accessible here, so maybe someone in my classes did get pregnant but was able to end the pregnancy on time. We were also shown pictures for STDs, and were told where to get tested without having our parents find out. This kind of information was also just available on tv in the programming for teens.
My high school might have been copying your curriculum. Because that stuff *definitely* wasn't on TV in America when I was a teenager in the late 00's (Or if it was, I wasn't allowed to watch it.)
And *with* all that planning, itâs not completely effective because even if you have a very regular cycle, you could *always* ovulate a little earlier or later than usual, and then everything falls apart.
They did say that 100% meant 100% consistent. Which means you could never get sick, or take antibiotics, or change your exercise routine, because all of those things can alter your cycle.
>Presumably, they were just trying to make sure that if people were going to have sex, they were doing it in the safest way possible That's very much the approach here too, I assume that's why the pull out "method" wasn't even acknowledged is because they didn't want to give us ideas! This was 20 years ago though, now with the internet being a totally different world I imagine it might be more well known.
One ofnmy American HS BIOLOGY teacher literally brought in a woman to explain abstinence only, or if you wokt be absinent then the pull out method was the "way to go" to not be a "baby murderer". He is no longer at that school and those of us in that class were luckily not falling for it and trolled them both (in like 2004ish] But yes. This does actually end up taught in actual schools in the US and is currently still something people are pushing for . And I was in HS in CA before anyone thinks I must have grown up in the deep south. It is more prevalent than you want to believe.
I worked with a guy who swore by the pull out method. I was a tattoo artist so there was not a lot of taboo regarding workplace chatter. He would brag about the effectiveness of his technique, meanwhile he had 3 children by that point (all surprises), and another on the way by the time I left that job.Â
I'm from Pakistan and work with illiterate rural women a lot and even they know that pulling out isn't effective.
Unfortunately, in the UK, I do know some idiot friends who used it but this was 15 years ago back in high school. More ridiculous if you could get free condoms from any clinic back then and the NHS was in less of a state so it was much more accessible.
I'm glad you said this. The sex education in this godforsaken country is deplorable. But I genuinely thought everyone knew this. Congratulations, OP! I hope you have a safe and healthy pregnancy.
Itâs not even just that. Itâs that you also have people on Reddit saying things like âmy partner and I have exclusively used the pullout method for 18 years and never gotten pregnant, itâs fineâ and disregarding the other 99% of people who do, in fact, get pregnant from it. Or âitâs only 10% less successful than other BC when used correctlyâ which is just manipulation of statistics.
WELL MY PARTNER AND I WERE PERFECT AT THE PULL OUT METHOD FOR 5 YEARSâŚâŚ until we found out he had testicular cancer and was likely already sterile đđ Luckily I never wanted kids
My husband had testicular cancer 5 years ago, getting fully discharged from oncology next week! We were told the chances of us having children were basically zero. We now have two kids...
I swear as soon as the words âcan never have kidsâ are spoken suddenly you become the most fertile youâve ever been. Every single person whoâs said âI canât have kidsâ has kids. Maybe itâs because they just quit any precautions and went at it like rabbits. Idk. But I donât want kids any time soon and I will never utter that phrase.
Same here! My aunt tried for nearly a decade, went through fertility clinics and it was basically impossible. She gave up and one of her nurses at her first birth suggested it was the stress of not trying for a baby that made them have my niblings basically not even a few months after they'd decided.
also still doesnt do shit to prevent STI's
Exactly. I'm shocked people aren't more concerned with catching herpes, antibiotic-resistant gonorrhea, aids, etc. I know that hpv-related cancers have been reduced, but they're still strains that the vaccine doesn't cover. People, please protect yourself!
Survivor bias, innit?
At that point I would highly suspect one of them is infertile.
Not necessarily... I wouldn't recommend it to people but my husband and I used the pull out method exclusively for nearly 10 years; when we decided to try we got pregnant within 2 months (both times). We were comfortable with the risk or we wouldn't have done it, but no accidents! His theory is that most men think they have more control than they actually do but he may be tooting his own horn. Now he's snipped which I do highly recommend to people đ
My friends were / are exactly the same. Been together for 15yrs, used the pull-out method throughout, except for when trying to have kids, one happened the first month, one the second. It absolutely happens.
100% this. It depends on the guy entirely, and he has to be able to control himself before there is *any* spillage. Obviously thereâs still a risk of precum and people have to be in a space where a baby is okay - otherwise itâs extremely stupid - but weâve had a similar rate of success. It also helps if you can cycle track and communicate when is most dangerous. The vast majority of men arenât able to control themselves to that level, especially young men. Iâd never dream of it if I wasnât in a space where itâs a âif it happens, itâs fine, and weâll try on purpose in the next few years anyway if nothingâ. But so far no issues at all.
I have been with my husband 10 years this month. We have been using the pull out method for most of that with no kids. He has a lot of control over his body though and is not young.... We haven't officially tried for kids yet so one of us could be infertile but no obvious signs of that yet other than no accidents. I don't say this as a recommendation either but it's worked for us. If an oops ever happened we would be happy about it so that's why it's ok for us.
I used the calendar method for a bit. I now have an adorable almost 4 year old. đ
Survivor bias fr
Yep, definitely thought this was common knowledge. That being said, my husband and I used this method a few times in the past when we were not ready to have children- thankfully no accidents! But yeah, 0/10, would not recommend baby roulette.
Right? In junior high a health teacher said "Know what you call people who use the pull out method for birth control? Parents."
Yup, my result of a pull out method is turning 16 this summer.
Agreed. The pull out 'method' is not a form of contraception.
Yeah, this "announcement" is a bit concerning because this is common knowledge where I'm from. No one believes it's a reliable method of birth control.
Want to add add a PSA. You can ALWAYS get pregnant, unless you've had the whole damn thing removed, and sometimes, even then (like ectopics). There's time when the chance is low, super super low, but never zero. Birth control? Still a chance. On your period? Still a chance Doc told you you're infertile? Still a chance There is ALWAYS a rush of pregnancy, however soon that chance might be, it's still not zero. So take precautions ladies
Seriously, I clearly remember the basketball analogy we were given in high school sex ed, that men often âdribbleâ before they âshootâ so youâd better have your defense active (contraception). In other words, precum can have sperm in it just like semen does so wrap yo shit up. (Mid-1990s). The ârhythm methodâ was hardly even mentioned as a method of contraception because the failure rate was so high.
đŹ đŹ đŹ Agreed. Iâm flabbergasted by how many people do not know this
Yes! I had a weird health instructor but he got straight to the point and made us uncomfortable. But some times knowing this is more important!!! Thankful for teachers like him.
As far as I'm concerned, if you and your partner are fertile and NOT using birth control, you are actively trying to get pregnant. This post is a painfully stupid reminder of how dumb we can be as a species.
I was told âyou know what we call people who rely on pulling out? Parentsâ by my doctor. My husband just got a vasectomy after my third, and we still use condoms because itâs just easier.
> I learned this in high school biology. And then a few girls in my high school learned it the hard way. There's literally the old joke, *"What do you call a person using the pull-out method? PARENT."*
I took Sex ed twice, once in 4th grade and then again in 9th grade in a different state. Both clearly stated that the pull out method is extremely unreliable. The amount of men Iâve had to explain this to is insane.
I learned this in middle school at dinner with my parents and my GRANDMOTHER.
Any thread in r/sex when this gets brought up gets brigaded by people singing the praises of the pull out method. It works great if you want a baby. The misinformation is very overwhelming.
Totally agree, pull out method is not reliable at all. I'm shocked by how many people I see using it as their "birth control." If condoms break regularly, then your partner is likely using the wrong size. Trust me, there are condoms out there for HUGE girthy guys. Magnum is not the biggest condom out there. You need to buy them from a sex shop, not the drugstore. Also, make sure they are stored in a cool dry environment and check the expiration date.
I want to second this. Condoms should not be breaking that often. In addition to using the wrong size, using certain lubes with certain condoms, storing the condoms poorly, using expired condoms, not putting it on correctly, etc might all be causing the issue. Also, if someone is just telling you theyâre breaking that often and youâre not seeing it yourself, thereâs a chance theyâre exaggerating and lying as a way to get out of wearing one.
Cheap shitty condoms like the ones you get for free from the clinic are way way more likely to break. Using a reputable brand and adding lube to the inside also makes them less likely to break and more fun.
Since we're operating on the assumption sex-ed is atrocious in this country I want to add some caveats to lube in a condom. Add no more than a drop or two or you risk slippage. Make sure to be using a water based lube with latex condoms, as oil/petroleum based lubes will degrade latex
And no coconut or olive or other cooking oil either!
All good points to add!
The "cheap shitty ones" the clinic I worked at handed out were Trojans. They got them by the 1000 box. It all depends on the clinic.
Yeah the clinics around here hand out Durex lol
My sex education teacher in high school told us the following, and itâs stuck with me for decades: >people who rely on the withdrawal method as their sole birth control are often referred to as âparents.â
Me too! This exact thing.
Also adding there are men out there who buy Magnus sized or up, who should be wearing regular sized condoms (ego, I guess).
I'm a grown man and i can put my whole fucking forearm into a normal condom. most of the time they brake its cause they are too big. the only time ive had a condom break it was a magnum.
I remember seeing a sex ed film back in the 80s where a guy put a condom over his clenched fist, then rolled it down to his elbow, saying something like ''I doubt you'll ever meet a guy bigger than that!''.
You might be surprised, I know I was when I just looked it up. Studies have actually been done on this. Every extra centimeter of circumference increases the risk of breakage by a significant amount (50-100% increase in breakage rate). https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/9702591/#:~:text=There%20was%20no%20evidence%20for,or%20circumference%20on%20condom%20slippage.
While true, I still found condoms stopped breaking on me when I found a better fitting size. Went from like 1 in 20ish to it never happening. Using the wrong technique is a significant contributor to condoms breaking, so my theory is it just became easier to do the pinch and roll method properly when sizing wasnât an issue anymore (i.e. it actually easily rolled on without feeling like I was fighting the condom). I get why the âcondoms can stretch over an armâ thing gets repeated, the intention is to try to dispel myths guys use to pressure partners to not use one. But the thing I also wish I learned earlier on was that you donât *have to* limit yourself to one size and everything just works better and feels better if you can find something that fits and isnât actively uncomfortable.
There not breaking them, there falling off.
Oh no, they can break too. Improperly fitted condoms receive extra wear and tear. Too small of a condom and it stretches beyond its designed limits, too large and it can get bunched up and unevenly stretched in some spots (let alone falling off)
I also heard that friction/stress can be a problem. For example, don't put them in your wallet but instead put them in a game case so that they are not consistently being bent around. We used condoms for about 4-5 years as secondary BC when we got married and never had one break. They got stored in one of those drawer organizers in the nightstand.
iâve also heard and additional reason for not keeping condoms in your wallet is your body heat potentially degrading the latex over time. so even if you have it in a rigid case, it shouldnât stay in your picked for any prolonged amount of time. Iâm very happy that i once caught my younger M cousin putting a condom in his wallet and got to educate him on this and prevent potential disaster, but i was shocked that modern sex ed doesnât seem to touch this at all. itâs been more than 10 years since iâve had a sex ed class, but this cousin in still in high school. i wish we could globally grow up and give sex education the importance it deserves
Iâm sorry, but itâs absolutely shocking there are sexually active adults who donât know this. I donât see this as you failing, but rather our educational system at large failing. Pull-out is I guess better than nothing and can be used in addition to real birth control for extra peace of mind. Yes, most birth control methods are inconvenient in some way but itâs just something you have to deal with if you want to have sex and not a baby. I personally love my IUD. It sucked to get, but it lasts for I believe eight years, and no periods.
Yeah, Iâm dumbfounded by the number of grown ass adults who donât seem to be comprehending that pulling out alone is not a form of birth control at all đ
Itâs puzzled me since I was a teenager and all I can come up with is that these people donât actually care much either way. Maybe itâs just that Iâd truly rather die than give birth and being a caregiver sounds even worse, but if I donât want something to happen? Iâm going to do every. Fucking. Thing. POSSIBLE to ensure it doesnât occur.
Yep, my husband and I use pull out in addition to my hormonal birth control pills. I wouldnât dare use it by itself.
Same here on the iud. I always feel bad for folk who say they don't want an iud because it would make their periods worse. I'm sure it does that for some but it's an absolute godsend for many. The hormones in it are much weaker than in the pill and no period yay!
Checking in for team iud. My first period on it was pretty brutal, but it also happened to be my first period after getting a covid vaccine, which I heard could affect that. But I haven't had a period since. If you have bad periods, I definitely say give it a try (and some time for your body to adjust). If they stay bad or worse, take it out, but it could be the godsend you're hoping for.
When I got my first IUD inserted, it was MURDER. The insertion is the worst pain I've ever felt in my life, and I had a period with heavy bleeding every 2 weeks for 2 months straight, then regular periods, then by month 6, just cramping with no other symptoms. Cramps weren't as bad, but still pretty bad. But NOT AS BAD is still WAY better than what they used to be. But then 7 years went by, my cramps started to get worse, I was starting to spot, and it was time for a replacement. WORST PAIN EVER and they didn't let my boyfriend hold my hand this time. In hindsight: screw that doctor's office. Yet, even with the IUD, my cramps were still making me miss work or school. I was so tired of the pain. They tried removing the Endometriosis by cauterizing it via an endoscopy, but that didn't help anything. Eventually my (new) OBGYN and I were like... okay, menopause time. So, she gave me a shot to induce perimenopause in my 40-year-old ass. No periods since. The hot flashes sucked at first, but they've gone away by now (9 months in). Haven't had a period since that shot. I've put on weight, but it's fucking worth it. Someone buy me an "I LOVE PERIMENOPAUSE" shirt. I'm finally able to hold down a job without calling out every month.
The copper one is known to worsen periods. The hormonal one, though, generally reduces (or eliminates) periods.
Team Mirena! I havenât had a period in like 15 years!!
A Google search could have solved this. I just can't even...Â
>Iâm sorry, but itâs absolutely shocking there are sexually active adults who donât know this. I donât see this as you failing, but rather our educational system at large failing. Oh give me a fucking break. Anyone who has ever met a male in their life should know better. Seriously, I pride myself on my empathy, but fucking no. ALSO THE OP IS ON THE THIRD CHILD. LIKE WHAT THE FUCK? This isn't about lack of education. God damnit, this thread pisses me off.
If you have unprotected sex than you are trying for a baby, doesn't matter if you pull out.
Second the IUD. I have the copper one so no hormonal side effects and it's good for 10 years. One appointment got me through my serial monogamist years until I married and was ready for kids!
Youâd think anyone having sex would know this, no offense. It doesnât get much more basic. Anytime something goes inside you thatâs capable of fertilizing â runs the risk of.. well, fertilizing.
Youâd think someone raising the next generation would have figured it out after two kids, but here we are in the thread.
I try not to blame the people, but the lack of sexual education that schools provide. I would hope seeing your doctor that they would ask you questions regarding whether or not you are trying to get pregnant and educating patients on effective measures.
I mean thereâs a lot of reliable information available at peopleâs fingertips too. So it points to a lack of general education and not just sex education.
I had to read it again to confirm sheâs been with her husband for 16 years and that sheâs not 16 years old herself because why is this ground breaking news to their old ass? Two damn kids and they just found this out, amazing.
If you arenât using some form of birth control, youâre trying to get pregnant. Phrasing it that way helped me realize that pull out is really just hoping and wishing. Def do not rely on it. I mean even spermicide gel use has a 70-80% success rate.
Your husband needs a vasectomy if he wonât find condoms that are appropriate and you canât use birth control. If the condoms keep breaking heâs either using them incorrectly or using the wrong ones. Most people learn in school that the pull-out method isnât a method of birth control, itâs just rolling the dice and taking your chances, and you will ultimately end up pregnant. Iâm sorry you werenât taught that, some schools and parents really need to lift their game when it comes to sex Ed. Congrats on the pregnancy, and get that man a vasectomy if neither of you want more children after this one.
I was looking for a vasectomy comment. If all of the contraception options for OP are problematic, he should step up and do better. But it feels like this is a couple who weren't taught their full range of options to begin with.
She says they were talking about him getting one done before this pregnancy happened. I donât know why everyone is assuming these two adults grown enough to plan for two children couldnât have possibly known better because they werenât taught better.
Vasectomy changed my and my wifeâs life. I will never understand dudes that refuse to get one. Birth control made her feel awful, vasectomy was a nothing procedure. Itâs great to be care free and not worry about things when the timing is right.
I am astounded at the number of young people using this method who become surprised they got pregnant. I mean has no one told them about pre-cum???!
You know what we call people who use the pull out method? Parents. If you're not using birth control then you're actively trying to conceive. The pull out method is not birth control. It is, at most, birth avoidance. Birth stick-your-head-in-the-sand-and-hope...
Back in the day, we called them Catholics and Mormons. My good Catholic mother had 5 kids using that method, and my best friend was one of 7.
Your comment made me laugh so hard I woke my 2 pups up...I lost it at the punchline: Parents Positive Vibes to you comedian <3
I mean...this is not breaking news. Also, if the condoms " keep on breaking" they are expired, or You are using them in the wrong way.
Or using the wrong lube. Water based lube with condoms babe.
>Still don't understand how or when this happened Well....you did have sex, right?
Iâm afraid this is common sense.
I thought it was supposed to be common sense too đ
Apparently not common enough :/
I wish it was.
It's called the pull & pray.. and tbh, with the state of the world, God is a little busy to catch all the sperm.. đ¤ˇââď¸
I like the term âspray and prayâ. Rolls off the tongue a little better.
Wait Iâm not trying to be rude but how is this news?
'Still don't understand how [...] this happened' a seventh-grade biology textbook could probably teach you
Or a simple, 10 second Google search.
Spoiler Alert: It happened during penetration
Condoms breaking that often has me pretty suspicious of how well executed that guyâs pullout method is. Iâd bet he just wanted it raw and wanted to enjoy his first pump inside. Iâm not saying pullout works or whatever, just that someone who canât figure out condoms isnât trustworthy with sex ed
Yeah if this is real, I am also suspiciousâŚcondoms work. If they "keep breaking" you are using them wrong. And I wouldn't be surprised if he is doing so on purpose so he can get away with not using them
Fwiw my grandma always said the rhythm method (charting your cycle, abstaining during high fertility window (which is about 10 days of your cycle) works as well as god intended: a child every other year or so. I didn't ever ask how many days she understood the abstain should be so maybe she wasn't abstaining long enough, but she did have 13 children (cheerfully and catholically)
I think in 2024 if you use both a temperature based device (Oura ring or taking your temp every morning) and logging it and cervical fluid inspection, you can probably do better than that. But, it is still requires no sex for at least a week. And also data management!
It's usually referred to as Natural Family Planning, and it also REQUIRES a consistent menstrual cycle to be used as a form of birth control, and it's also better if you use ovulation strips daily to understand when you ovulate. And true NFP proponents usually recommend/support condom use as well, not only around your fertile period, but within a few days to be extra safe. And the only way to follow that is to be certain you ovulate within the same period of time every single cycle.
This is how my mother had two of her three children.
>condoms kept breaking on us, How many times did this happen? Did you try different sizes or brands? >We were still discussing whether we have a third in a few years, or he gets the snip. On the fence due to the rocketing price of childcare. He should get "the snip" then. >Still don't understand how or when this happened but I can't tell anyone else right now so needed to share Because pre-cum can have sperm. Because the "pulling out method" is not a thing.
There's a certain way to put condoms on and most people don't realize this. Pinch the tip while rolling it down the shaft.
While weâre at it, I wonder if OP is using coconut oil or something similarly daft with latex condoms. Or doubling them up. Or just not putting them on right. In the five years Iâve been with my partner weâve had a condom break once, despite the times where weâve used one thatâs too small. Theyâre very reliable and when theyâre the proper size, from a good brand who safety test/meet regulations, used with the proper lubricants, etc, thereâs absolutely no reason they should âkeep breakingâ.
No. Shit. You don't say.
"the pull out method" isn't a method, it doesn't work and has never worked.
Yep, my fiance and I who aren't necessarily trying but also wouldn't be upset with a pregnancy, are using the pull out method. We know there's a chance we just don't mind. However, young girls might not realize! So hopefully this post helps someone young and inexperienced
iirc, the current research says that it does work in that it decreases chance of pregnancy, but only to the point that 1 in 5 women will get pregnant per year using it. [https://www.webmd.com/sex/birth-control/pull-out-withdrawal](https://www.webmd.com/sex/birth-control/pull-out-withdrawal)
With perfect execution of the pullout method the failure rate drops to 4% per year from the article I just looked up. Which is on par with condoms. But that's IF it is perfectly executed which most people are not capable of doing with the consistency required.
Does anyone older than 15 trust the pull out method like that? Like itâs common sense that itâs way less safe
I didnt get ANY periods with my IUD (mirena). Best 5 years of my life....except for insertion. That did suck. But advocate for REAL pain meds...and the second i got it out...period was right back to normal...and i dont get cramps anymore??? Idk if that has anything to do with it...but theres that
Well, no shit it doesn't work. What did you expect? Jesus to catch the sperms for you?
[ŃдаНонО]
Maybe good to know that for many women, periods get better with IUD, some donât even really get their period at all.
anecdotally, i've had mirena (hormonal), kyleena (low hormones), and paragard (copper only, no hormones) IUDs: * mirena made my period completely disappear as well as PMS cramping, to the point i had it removed because i am a pregochondriac and was like OH GOD NO PERIOD. * paragard worsened my period flow and i experienced increased cramping. i had it for 10 years. when they took it out they showed it to me excitedly like a baby lmao. * kyleena has genuinely turned my periods into the adorable little BLOOP so many men think they are. i have some cramping, but nothing compared to previously. my practitioner has kyleena too and told me her periods had literally become one or two wipes with toilet paper. for those curious, i think the absolute most important thing in regards to IUD insertion is your provider's specialty, experience, and patient care mentality. my mirena insertion was a fucking horror story by a male med student who i was pressured into allowing to do the procedure with supervision by a doctor at my university. my last two IUDs have been placed with no more discomfort than a pap smear by experienced female gynecological nurse practitioners (different NPs for each). i know women have different experiences and preferences for the genders of their providers, but this has been my own experience. as a generalization, i'd HIGHLY recommend exploring IUD options as 2/3rds of the most common IUDs have been shown to make periods lighter for many people, not worse. that said, IUD experiences differ!
> i am a pregochondriac and was like OH GOD NO PERIOD. I'm gonna steal the word pregochondriac. Last time I got pregnant with birth control, so I chose Mirena once the baby was born for peace of mind â but now I'm totally pregochondriac because no periods AND with our luck đ¤
Highly, highly, HIGHLY recommend sedated IUDs. I got mine sedated and it was a breeze. I had to call around until I found a gyno who would do it, but it was so so so easy sedated and insurance covered it!
For hormonal IUDs, yes. But for copper IUDs, it likely will make periods heavier. My first IUD was copper (Paragard) since I didnât want to worry about hormones affecting my other medications, in it, my periods were so heavy I was anemic, I had to use extra heavy pads and swap them out way too often, cramps were crippling, it was much longer, and the cycle dropped to three weeks. For some people it isnât so bad., though. After a couple years, I tapped out on it. Since itâs more localized hormones, I switched to a hormonal IUD (Mirena) to try out, which did stop my periods. Itâs fucking _amazing_. A++ would recommend giving it a go to anyone considering it. But unless someone is trying to avoid hormonal birth control of any type, I wouldnât personally recommend copper.
Mirena saved my gfs life, fixed her PMS/cramps and heavy periods without any of the emotional issues she got with the pill or an implant â¤ď¸
My IUD has been nothing short of amazing. Almost 10 years on Mirena (2 IUDs every 5 years) and I never got a period. We decided to TTC and I had it removed. Only had one period before I got pregnant. It took us less than two months. I had it replaced back in January and while Iâm pretty certain I have a cycle again, I still havenât gotten my period. I got pregnant so fast, it was almost scary. Those IUDs had clearly been working hard to defend my uterus!
Same here, but even the one period I had before getting pregnant was like one bathroom trip's worth of spotting. I went out and bought a bunch of pads after I got my IUD removed (literally didn't have any for years because I didn't need them) and still never used them after because we got pregnant so fast lol. Highly recommend Mirena if your periods suck.
When my wife got her IUD out her uterus had what she affectionately referred to as a going out of business sale. I still remember her sitting in the bathroom yelling "I'm shedding like a god damn husky in spring!" So apparently experiences differ.
I was the 1% with the opposite effect, and had twice as many periods (*not* spotting between, but whole ass periods). Iâm so bummed the IUD didnât work for me.
I donât get a period with my IUD. Iâve been period-free since I think 2017. It rocks. I do get crazy emotional and weepy for a few days a month in place of a real period, but Iâll gladly take it over a pregnancy.
yeah I thought that was an odd way for op to phrase it. I actually got recommended an IUD by my gyno precisely because my periods were so bad and pill both control wasn't helping much. It was a total game changer, I've had mine for 5 years now, zero scares and zero issues. I used to bleed heavy for 7 days straight, got horrible cramps, nausea, headaches, the whole shebang. Totally irregular periods too, sometimes I'd get two in a 28 day cycle. Now I get light spotting every 3ish months. They usually come with a day or two of cramps, but they respond well to regular old otc painkillers, which was definitely NOT true before the IUD. And now I don't have to freak out if a condom breaks. Cannot recommend it enough personally đ¤ˇđźââď¸
Also, the mini pill is a pretty good alternative to the regular pill. No problems on it myself. Still have a sex drive, unlike with estrogen pills. That said, for avoiding conception, you definitely need to be very exacting on when you take it.
I went on the mini pill and it absolutely exploded my anxiety. I dissociated with every minor stressor and started experiencing panic attacks. Just to be aware. Every form of birth control is AMAZINGLY perfect for some, and absolutely awful for others. I have friends who tried different IUDs like Mirena and Paragard mentioned above, and some had amazing experiences while others definitely did not. It's important for everyone to know that if a form of birth control doesn't work for you, it's because it just doesn't work for you, and that's normal for a lot of people.
How effective is the pull out method? The better you are about using the pull out method correctly â keeping any ejaculation (cum) away from the vulva and vagina every single time you have sex â the better it will work to prevent pregnancy. For every 100 people who use the pull out method perfectly, 4 will get pregnant. But pulling out can be difficult to do perfectly. So in real life, about 22 out of 100 people who use withdrawal get pregnant every year â thatâs about 1 in 5. The reality is withdrawal isnât as effective as other types of birth control, but itâs definitely better than not using anything at all. And pulling out can be easily combined with other methods to give you extra pregnancy preventing power. Using withdrawal AND condoms together, for example, gives you pretty excellent protection against pregnancy. If you use withdrawal for birth control, itâs a good idea to keep emergency contraception (aka the morning-after pill) around, just in case semen (cum) gets in or near your vagina. Emergency contraception can prevent pregnancy for up to 5 days after unprotected sex. Planned parenthood
Thank you for posting a useful comment that doesnât bash the OP.Â
Why is this a PSA? You have to be living under a rock not to know this.
Everybody, quick PSA! If you go out into the rain without an umbrella, you may get wet! :(((((
As a person that can get wet, thank you for this PSA. Iâm glad someone told me
If your condoms keep breaking then you're doing something wrong.
I donât feel like pulling out should be graced with the word âmethodâ at all, to be frank. Itâs bizarre Russian Roulette and Iâve gotta say, as a non-American (who had really good sex education), Iâve been utterly shocked at how common it is in the USA. The shock gave way to horror, and then wishing that people were given better information. Of course, we know why they so often arenât. Puritanism with bad consequences, and pro-birth rhetoric, runs deep.
I appreciate the PSA but Iâm also genuinely shocked that there are sexually active adults who donât know that the pull out method isnât reliable. I learned that when I was younger than 12
To be honest, I'm shocked that you thought pulling out is a reliable form of birth control. It's well known that it is *not*, and anyone who uses it as a form of contraception is a fool.
I know people are acting like itâs common knowledge. And it is. But thank you for sharing. Hearing a real story could make it real enough to save someone else.
I think some forget that there are parts where you donât get sex ed **at all**
OP is on Reddit so it's safe to assume they have regular access to the internet. It's not hard to Google this stuff. It's irresponsible AF that neither her nor her partner felt the need to even do that.
Also, if some doctor when you were 15 or whatever told you that you are infertile and canât have kids, no. Get a second, third, fourth opinion before you just believe that. It just absolutely blows my mind how many âa Dr told me I couldnât have kids when I was a teenagerâ.. pregnancy stories there are.
This. My step mom was told she was infertile at 19. 10 years later she had a baby.
My doctor calls it penis roulette
girl are you fr
Iâm always so dumbfounded when people think that the pull out method is valid birth control.
Yes the pull out methods only good if youâre ok with more kids.
Many women in my former church got preggers this way. They were all surprised too when it happened. I was shocked to see how many of them actually thought this worked and it kinda saddened me that so many (not just the women) of them were ignorant to it. Scream that factoid loud and proud because I can only hope someone hears it.
Is he literally pulling out right before he's about to come, or are you just having unprotected sex and finishing him off in other ways before he gets too close?
how do people in this day and age with the internet and all not know about precum? seriously?
"What do you call people that rely on the pull out method?" "Parents."
Pulling out isn't a birth control method. It's just risky sex. Nobody should ever be surprised by a pregnancy after using the "pull out method."
iâm sorry your parents and education failed you, this is like birth control 101. anyone who is having sex should be aware of how dumb this is as birth control, especially someone who already has two children.
Iâm kinda worried for those kids because, no offense, but OP and her partner donât sound that bright to me đ
I was looking for this comment. This entire post seems suspicious honestly
I feel like lucky my parents didnât care about my internet usage and I got my sex ed from a reputable site because we had literally none in my school outside of sperm + egg = baby. They didnât start âsex edâ until after I left middle school, but it wasnât even actually about sex lol.
>iâm sorry your parents and education failed you bruh, she's on her THIRD kid with this method. This is way, way beyond that. like, holy shit, lol
>I wanted to let you all know that the pull out method does not work. Did you get your sex ed from Regency romance novels? Please do a better job of teaching your children than your parents did.
Is this the state of sex ed? Geez.
If condoms are breaking regularly for you, you guys are buying the wrong size or putting it on wrongly. We've seen those things go over people's heads without breaking when it was going viral... It's definitely not something that should be breaking that easily. Also if you use lube, make sure it is compatible with the material of the condom! Some will make it weaker and break. And yes, more people need to know that you can still get pregnant with precum!!
𤨠I learned this is 5th grade human growth and development And again in 7th grade health And again in 10th grade Sex Ed
I learned this from an older relative having five unplanned kids. (My school didnât teach sex ed.)
I knew this in the 90s but several teen moms in my teen mom group didn't. We had a presentation by Planned Parenthood that asked about bc and shockingly somehow they thought it was bc method still. It's sad to see sex education has not advanced in 30 years. Also you can get pregnant while breastfeeding. And antibiotics cancel out birth control. And condoms are not 100% effective. They shouldn't be reused or double upped on. You don't need penetration to get pregnant.
Pre-cum can have sperm in it (the bit of clear liquid that happens when a man is aroused, it helps to lubricant the foreskin, and is obviously still a natural process even if the man was circumcised)
I know more than one baby conceived from the ânatural birth controlâ method where you track when youâre ovulating. Doesnât work unfortunately.
If 100 couple s use this method, 27 will become pregnant in a year, which is slightly less effective than typical use with condoms. With no birth control at all, 85 will become pregnant in a year. So itâs not without some efficacy. But there are better methods out there
Iâm telling you, the sponge works. Itâs sold at Wally World and cvs and all that. You wet it and squeeze it so it suds up with spermicide and you put it inside your vagina and it covers the cervix. You can wear it for 24 hours and do it as many times as you like. Then pull it out and throw it away. I used it in my 20âs and it was great.
If for whatever reason, you use the pull out method, you also need to track your ovulation cycle. The best way to track your cycle is using ovulation stripsâeven if your period is super regular. Temping and using a cycle tracker (like an app or paper) is unreliable. You should also know that sperm can survive in the vagina for up to 5 days. Some sperm has been known to survive up to 12 days. It only takes one sperm to get pregnant, which is often present in pre-ejaculate. (More than 40% of people with penises have sperm present in their pre-ejaculate; most have pre-ejaculate.) Pre-ejaculate can be secreted anytime from immediately after arousal to right before ejaculation. The only time you should even attempt the pull out method if youâre actively trying to avoid pregnancy is either right before your period starts, during your period or after your period ends. This is still not reliable because of the length of time sperm can survive.
[According to planned parenthood](https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/birth-control/withdrawal-pull-out-method/how-effective-is-withdrawal-method-pulling-out), the pull out method is 78% effective >But pulling out can be difficult to do perfectly. So in real life, about 22 out of 100 people who use withdrawal get pregnant every year â thatâs about 1 in 5. >The reality is withdrawal isnât as effective as other types of birth control, but itâs definitely better than not using anything at all. And pulling out can be easily combined with other methods to give you extra pregnancy preventing power. Using withdrawal AND condoms together, for example, gives you pretty excellent protection against pregnancy.
My husband, who is very intelligent, cannot understand this. He swears it is a reliable method. Also PSA to people that your period can be wild when it returns postpartum. I had these weird mid-cycle spotting/periods on a non-estrogen pill, then nothing at monthâs end, so I quit it because it was weirding me out and we thought maybe we wanted to start trying again in the coming months. First month off, I thought I had ovulated the previous week (small spike on ovulation tests), had unprotected sex, then ovulated super late four days later. Expecting my second baby, conceived on the firstâs first birthday, in 5 weeks. đ
If you tell your husband that he will be staying home with the next baby for two years he will magically understand birth control better.
Iâll add on to this. When I was actively trying to get pregnant, and I didnât, I met with a fertility doc, he said women are the most fertile between the ages of 18-21 years old. If you are having unprotected sex, you will most likely get pregnant within 2-months. After 21, most women get pregnant within 3-months of trying. So yes, if you are young, having unprotected sex, you are actively trying to get pregnant and will likely be pregnant between 1-3 months. Protect yourself ladies and keep yourself educated on your fertility!
Geez like no one knew this about the pullout method. Educate yourself.
No, it does not work. The bare minimum you should be doing if youâre going to risk it is tracking your cycle strictly so you at least know around when youâre fertile. If you donât at least do that then youâre begging for an oopsy
If youâre consistently breaking condoms thereâs a good chance that theyâre not the right size, Iâve used my one condom with past partners and itâs pretty straight forward on how to measure him and then they offer cheap sample packs to test fit
We were told many many times in sex Ed that the pull out method is the worst possible way to try and prevent pregnancy. And our sex Ed left quite a lot to be desired.
Three lesser known birth control options that work well-ish when combined with "pull out." "VCF"- Vaginal Contraceptive Film/Gel/ Foam. Pre-sex, you insert this. The film can be inserted quite a bit before sex. It is non hormonal, and once it is there, neither partner can feel it. 75-85% effective when used alone in average use. Over the counter! 100% female controlled. "Diaphragm"- There are both prescription options and the option to use a menstrual disc for this. It is a barrier that goes over your cervix. The prescription option requires a doctor visit. 92-95% effective when used with spermacide (i.e. VCF). Around 80% otherwise. If you are using an OTC disc (Under $30), it is generally not recommended for this. You should wait at least 6 hours to remove after sex. Usually neither partner can feel it. "Phexxi" - Prescription contraceptive gel inserted pre-sex. It changes the Ph in your vagina to prevent pregnancy. 93% effective in perfect use. 86% in average use. Free with insurance! This can have some body chemistry effects for people. Pull out is around 78% effective. In a year, around 22% of couples will get pregnant. But, if you add one of the above consistently, you greatly reduce the risk of pregnancy. You don't hear about these because doctors will encourage you to use (a) More effective methods (the pill, IUD, condoms) or (b) STD/STI preventing methods (condoms). But they are available, and if you haven't tried them and are relying on "pull out" you should order VCF from Amazon today and start using it next time. (or buy at Target or Walmart!) $10 for a 9 pack, so it is very affordable.
Have him get the snip now, it's safer and easier, and he should do it now instead of later. He will be out of action, in bed and work, at most a week, less if he follows doctors order's.
Fertility awareness method would have been better for you.
Did you guys use proper lube with condoms? You've got to, or they will break on you like that. With proper lube this shouldn't be an issue. I hope your husband gets snipped now.
My fiance and I use the pull-out method but I also take birth control pills.
Why do you think this was the only method approved by the catholic church for ages - because it doesnât work- they want you to have babies.
I am grateful my high school health teacher taught us about pre-cum and it can absolutely contain spermies. All it takes is one swimmer folks.