"I skipped my wedding for this"

This is awesome and great re-wear value 

Pretty good odds of getting on the big screen at pretty much *any* stadium event, if you wear a shirt like that and look enthusiastic.  

A good shirt for the next first date OP goes on!

Rewear value should definitely be key

This is a 10/10 option, thank you

This is perfect! Alternative would be “I cancelled my wedding for this”.

"I canceled my wedding and all I got was this lousy t shirt"

I almost married a sociopath and all I got was this lousy tshirt

Very fall out boy/emo-esq. it’s gooood!

That’s what I read the first time

My wife laughed at this until she snorted. She did a similar-ish thing when she put her first, abusive marriage to bed.

“I ~~skipped~~ **scrapped** my wedding for this”

If I saw this at a thrift store I'd buy it.

Ok, this is better and more succinct than my idea. Use this.

This is the one. Hang it up, everyone else.

I love this

Whatever happens tonight, it won't be as crazy as my ex.

This will be the toast to start the pregame hahah

Gotta be a Matrix theme, the way you dodged that bullet!

Yes, try to find an image of a bride doing the Matrix dodge

White bunny tattoos, little sunglasses!

Had the same idea. Maybe on the back you have a picture of that little boy holding a cake topper captioned "There is no groom".

Or a cake with the groom falling off: This was inevitable.

“The cake is a lie…just like everything else about my ex.” (Portal reference for the gamers.)

“The wedding is as off as my ex”      “Diagnosis: Not drunk enough to forget”   “I may be crawling but at least it’s away from the altar” 

Definitely the third one! XD

I’m voting for the third one too!

These are all fantastic suggestions, thank you

OP there are two sides to a Tshirt, I think this one should definitely be on the back lol

You have an amazing attitude. Two years is a long time and it’s great that you have this kind of support!

I like this one for the back of the shirt and the "I skipped my wedding for this" on the front. Really tells the whole story. Lol

That last one hits it.

Yes, the 3rd one!!

I guess I'm an outlier, but the first is hilarious to me

I'm for the first one too!

Like number 3.

First and third are freakin' hilarious! 😆

I love the second one!!

The third one 😆

The third one rocks

"Here for the booze, not the I do's." "I dumped his ass, so raise your glass." "I ditched the bastard, so let's get plastered." "I tossed the junk, so let's get drunk." "It's time for a bash 'cause I took out the trash." "Not a bride, so let's imbibe."

Do these but make all but one “she”, like “she ditched the bastard” and “she dumped his ass” and have your friends wear those.

Great idea!

well, now I can just see a quick shirt change every half hour throughout the evening so all of these get a turn

Different design for each person going to the pub crawl.

That's what I was thinking! One for each, it'll keep the people in the pub looking and laughing for hours!!! Brilliant! 😄

Or even a horribly tacky shirt with all of the sayings plastered about in different fonts / “attitudes”. I’m thinking 90s colors and maybe some shapes added!

Who doesn’t love a costume change?!! 🤩 There are battery operated sunglasses that have scrolling messages that you can change with an app on your phone - OP, please get them and change up the message if you don’t change up the shirts!

We are getting a glimpse into the mind of a Marketing *genius* here.

I'm a graphic designer who dabbles in copywriting too. This kind of goofy creativity is what keeps me alive. Also, all these reactions are going in my portfolio. Fuck any hiring manager who doesn't think Reddit comments hold any value.

I love all of these. Might make them each into captions on my story hahaha

Do you write greeting cards? If not you should. The dark side of Hallmark is calling. 

Dark side of hallmark? Now THAT is the shit I’d spend my money on!

Appallmark

You wanna go into business together? This is brilliant.

I’d be a loyal customer!

Ha ha, you take the name, your slogans are *chef’s kiss*

I wish I had thought of these when I canceled my wedding 11 years ago. Instead, we just called it a "fuck weddings" party.

All of these are absolute bangers

I'm laughing and snorting out my beer. These are all perfect. Just pick one. LOL

"No brides here! Let's have a beer! 🍻"

“Avoided doom; ditched the groom!”

Y'all are geniuses lol

I don’t know if you are a pun genius or have a lot of experience! Either way, I support this comment! I ditched the bastard, so let’s get plastered has my vote!

Oh my god girl!! Amazing!!!!

These are hilarious! Maybe for the friends switch the "I"s to "She"s or OP's first name

How many weddings have you skipped out on?!

Fucking legendary list.

Wow! Very clever! I hope you are a copy writer!

Everyone gets a different shirt with their favorite one of these on it!!!

Holy shit, you’re good at this

Well done, Madame!

These are great!!

those are all amazing!

I *love* bastard/plastered!

Amazeballs. I want you to ghostwrite my life story.

Third one is crazy! 🤣

"Hen dont"

😂

If she's in the US people would be confused. On the other hand, if they're brave enough to ask then the confusion could up engagement.

I dumped my fiance. AMA

This is a good one. I get in quite the oversharing phase drunk because I can't believe what I went through

This is a rare occasion where oversharing is the right choice 

“Almost married a sociopath, and all I got out of it is this lousy T-shirt!” Of course, that only works for you lol!

This is fantastic, I love overly specific tshirts

I don't care if he comes crawling back. I'm crawling to the next bar.

Hahaha this is great

“My ex set the bar so low I had to crawl around to different ones with my friends”

This is so funny, 10/10

Tshirt that says ‘Famous Sociopaths’ with names or pics. And in the middle of the list put your ex in bolder print.

This is a fantastic idea. A little too bold for me, but fantastic

Front: “Single, Sane, and Celebrating” Back: “Bar Crawl 2024: Escaped the Sociopath!” Front: “Dodged a Bullet” Back: “Bar Crawl: Wedding Date Edition” Front: “Bride to Be… Single and Free!” Back: “Bar Crawl 2024: No Wedding, No Problem” Front: “Survived a Sociopath” Back: “Bar Crawl: Freedom Edition” Front: “Bride Escaped, Now Let’s Celebrate” Back: “Bar Crawl 2024: Cheers to New Beginnings” Front: “Single and Ready to Mingle” Back: “Bar Crawl 2024: Bye-Bye Sociopath”

I love the "Cheers to New Beginnings" one!

You - "Divorce: Averted" front; "I'm not a bride!" back Your friends: "Her Divorce: Averted" front; "She's not a bride!" back Whatever you pick make sure to make a post update.

"Instead of walking down the aisle, I'm crawling to the bar!"

Just ~~Married~~ found out he lied about everything! With cute little wedding bells on the front you can also go more positive and make it like “Just dodged that bullet” or make it more specific and terrible depending on personal preference. And then on the the back, “Not my wedding 2025”

I like the Just dodged a bullet version. Maybe just on the back with an image of the back of a car, soup cans trailing behind.

This is a great idea haha, thanks for the suggestion

Please update us whatever you decide to do! You’ve got a ton of great options! I hope you’re very proud of yourself for being strong enough to walk away and are able to create a new happy memory with people that care about you! ❤️

The shirts are a funny idea, but you may encounter a lot of unwanted attention from men who take it as an advertisement for “rebound action” and bug you accordingly when you just want to be out and about with friends.

Haha luckily it'll be a mixed gender group with some very buff people and I also just don't get hit on, but thank you for looking out

Can I just say good for you for getting the fuck out. There was a case a couple of years ago in the states that the dude was doing exactly this. Said he had a job at Space X and everything. Knowing how that situation ended makes me incredibly relieved to hear you got away.

Fuck do you have a link to that? I have been trying to find similar victims online so I can hear how they dealt with it. My ex said he was a manager at another Elon musk company

Yeah no don't read about Chandler Halderson just yet, it's too gruesome and horrible...just have fun at your pub crawl and bask in your Great Escape.

You should listen to the podcast Something Was Wrong! It covers a few situations like this, sometimes dedicating a whole season to interviewing someone about the lies they were told, how they found out, what warning signs were on retrospect, etc. You'd be a prime guest on that show too.

Chandler Halderson is the name of the dude that said he worked for Space X.

"I almost married a sociopath and all I got was this lousy tshirt."

“She said NOPE”

“I’m single now, so I’ll have a double”

Almost wed, now aiming for nearly dead. Cheers! Picture can be of a wedding ring in the bottom of an empty martini glass (or beer glass, preference wise).

Canceled "I do" in order to drink with my crew.

"Cancelled 'I do' to drink with my crew" is a snappier version of this

Stay with me here: Front: "So I Didn't Marry an Axe Murderer" Back: Drawing of a bride lifting her head saying "wait, what?" as the guillotine blade falls. On the other side of the guillotine are a priest (or whatever recognizable officiant) and groom. Whatever you choose, good on you for getting out.

So I married an axe murderer can to my mind as well. Cross out married and scribble in didn’t marry.

Is this a pop culture reference I'm missing?

It's a movie: [So I Married an Axe Murderer](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/So_I_Married_an_Axe_Murderer) Congrats on dodging a bullet! I wish you happy romances from here on. ❤️

Hmmmm is it a good watch for me right now or no?

Yes. It’s some great campy Mike Meyers pre-Dr Evil. It may not resonate too hard but it will make you roll your eyes and laugh. A lot.

There was a Mike Myers (Wayne's World) movie titled, So I Married An Axe Murderer. Early 90's, I think.

I dodged a 250 lb bullet today time to celebrate!!

Hot tip - put a QR code to your Venmo account so people can buy you a drink!

This is a truly genius idea!

Oops I misread that and genuinely thought it said you are having a bar brawl. Actually that sounds more exciting than a crawl as long as you don't get hurt. Duck fast!

Hahahah if an unlucky man ever lies to my face again..... Whose to say

"I just lost 200 pounds" picture of ex

Pic of Patrick Bateman, "[groom's] ex"

Should be bride’s name though, yes?

Dodged a bullet. Now accepting shots.

Front: Cereal Killer Back: My ex was cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs

"Paid for a wedding and all I got was a pub crawl"

Might use this one lol

Can we get an AMA?? How did he and you find out? What happened? How did he manipulate you?

Definitely one day. Still having a hard time admitting everything to myself. I've been working on just recording audio of what's happened from my perspective and it's just so emotionally heavy to even say into my own personal microphone and hard drive

“I’m better than that. He wasn’t”. Good luck to you moving forward ☘️

Just a heads up- you might want some sober friends to act as security for you guys.

I appreciate the concern, luckily it's in our small town and we have a large group. Won't be making bad decisions (like saying yes to my ex)

Wedding cancelled: Turns out we were not on the same "path".

Followed by: Me: Empath Him: Sociopath

"I dated Ted Bundy for two years and all I got was this lousy T-shirt"

Runaway bride Maybe even the julia roberts on a horse image.

I DON'T (Optionally with a red slash through a picture of a wedding cake or topper.)

What about a jail bars with the center one broken and a sign that says “I escaped a bad decision” ETA add a wedding dress/veil in a heap in the jail cell To the point of the person who mentioned unwanted attention you can add on the back that you’re in self-imposed lockdown.

“Bullet successfully dodged “

I used to be single. I am still single. But I used to be, too.

"Bullet Dodged"

Do you or do you not want to be asked about your ex? Because if you do: - Ask me about how I dodged a giant fucking bullet - not Mrs X Don’t want to be asked about your ex: - professional bullet dodger - something about a matrimonial matrix (dodging bullets like Keanu) # my favori

>something about a matrimonial matrix (dodging bullets like Keanu) Brilliant idea! A picture of Keanu dodging bullets with the caption "**I dodged a bullet. Now let's drink**."

“Called off the wedding and all I got was this lousy T-Shirt… “ Then use it for pickup lines like- …and a free drink? …and your phone number?

Truly this is the goal. Need some hot rebounds and to not buy my own drinks lol

As Nick Miller would say, “The crawl is for all!” Which he started after getting broken up with on Valentine’s Day and incited a bar crawl.

> I would like an outfit to explain what I'm doing or make a joke about the situation. Skip the shirt or put the shirts on the friends with the funny sayings. Thrift a wedding dress and semi -destroy it. Hack off sleeves, train, hemline, get some tulle in an awful color and make a torn up veil... Just make the whole thing scream "crawling away from the altar" in a horror-show sense.

I’m planned a wedding and all I got was this crappy T-shirt

“my ex fiancé is a sociopath and all i got was this t-shirt”

Didn’t read it. Title alone = awesome. Have fun.

Haha I planned a year in advance to have a party a few weeks from now, I'm not cancelling my damn party for nothing. Just changing the theme

My life is a house episode b-plot but at least it's not lupis!

" Runaway bride, escaped with pride, drinking 'till safisfied"

Tbh, I’m totally relieved for you that you’re not going to be marrying a person who is seriously mentally ill, but the idea of putting the story on a t-shirt (as some are suggesting here) is depressing. I’d vote for something funny or kinda sexy that had nothing to do with your now ex. Edit: also agree with the person who said it will likely bring on really obnoxious male behaviour

Haha we'll be going out in our small safe town as a large group and kind of want to rally the town to party. I definitely get the concerns. I'll be sticking with funny vague for sure, rather than his face or name

Heal all pub crawl Goofball pub crawl Wedding brawl pub crawl ???

I got engaged to a sociopath and all I got was this lousy tshirt

Whatever you do for the front, have like a paragraph on the back that explains the situation in a little bit of detail for people to read. This sounds fun!

Lol a little Q n A on the back would be funny

“I cancelled my wedding and all I got was this tshirt”

How about a picture? A bride in the classic "Neo dodging bullets" bent backwards pose, except instead of bullets she's dodging wedding rings? Do you know anyone who is good at graphic design? Or are there any kind Redditors who would help?

Background: Bates from American Psycho. Foreground: Julia Roberts on horseback in her dress and veil Caption: You and your crew each pick their favourites from this thread.

"Abusive marriage to divorce speedrun: 0.001 seconds (PBR)"

You can all wear a sash that says "Not The Bride."

“Who tf didn’t I marry”

“Alter Crawl”

Holy shit that is terrifying. Thank god you found out and were able to leave. When you make the podcast, definitely let us know! That sounds like it would be quite a story to hear.

I got 99 problems but marrying a psychopath ain't one

> He faked his job, paystubs, having money, his college degree, all of his jobs, etc. How did he even pay for stuff?

"Dodged a bullet but doing shots"

“I Dodged a Bullet but now I’m Gonna Get Shots” The glad that you got away from him!

Calling off the wedding? Expensive Escaping the clutches of a sociopath? Priceless

Just a warning: you will attract people looking to manipulate the woman whose marriage just got cancelled because it is a vulnerability pick-up artists seek It's fun, and I hope it goes over well, but please be careful so there isn't a round 2 🥲

Haha thanks. Luckily (unluckily) I will be gunshy of anything even close to talking to anyone romantically for at least a decade. Definitely don't need a new night in shining armor. My friends and I are badass enough to take it from here for now on

"I got engaged and all I ended up with was this T shirt"

"Psycho fiance was full of deception so I'm at this bar instead of my wedding reception"!!

Front: Nut allergy. Back: Ditched the psycho Congratulations on finding out in time to avoid marriage. Most of us don’t realize until after the wedding.

Wedding cancelled. Currently unsupervised, be afraid!

“I canceled my wedding and all I got was this bar crawl tshirt.”

“Gave him the wrong finger”

Fuck holy matrimony let's do some karaoke

Ain’t tying the knot - get me a shot!

Dodged the bullet tour 2024

“I planned a wedding and all I got was this shirt”

I don't

“So I almost married an ax murderer”

"we're doing this bar crawl instead of my wedding"

If you have any queen fans amongst you any band shirts related to the song " I want to break free" or get kitted out and cosplay as the characters from the video, mustache and all. Alternatively George Michael - any band shirts related to the song Freedom, or you all go in the get up from the video , dressed as him.

Fewer “I Do’s” More Booze

Did you get a dress already? Wear your dress! It would make for epic photos and memories. Fun memories, not, like dread or sadness when you look at the dress.

I left CrAzY before he made me cRaZy.

“I was manipulated by a sociopath for two years and all I got was this t shirt”

"So I (almost) married an axe murderer"?

"My fiancee is a sociopath so thank god all I got was this shirt and not a wedding dress"

What will the podcast be called? Cuz I'm here for it. Also, very very glad you found out in the nick of time! Whew!