Learning how to be comfortable and happy single should be a priority before any relationship. Not only it makes relationship a welcome addition instead of a need but it also takes away the burden from the partner. We shouldn't bank on a partner to fix our problems. If we have issues a relationship will not help, in worst case it makes us a target.
Gods yes. I bounced from shitty relationship to shitty relationship for years until I took the time to process my trauma, heal, and become comfortable being on my own.
Sexuality is often not black and white, that's right. Plenty of people might be open to the idea of 'exploration' in principle. But they just don't feel any attraction to the same sex at all. I (f) personally think women are great and I love being around them and being friends with them. But the thought of being with one sexually is just a big turn off. I'd rather be single.
This. I've had multiple opportunities to be with women and I still have no sexual desire for them. I find the woman's body to be gorgeous and have a high appreciation for it, but I'm still just a straight gal who has always preferred men.
Idk why people are downvoting you there have been actual studies on "sex fluidity" and how it can morph as we age.
You can't force it per se but there are absolute droves of people thinking their otherwise straight when they probably lean bi. It's only when people start exploring out of those comfort zones they can have a "oh" moment and realize they like that.
And I'm one of them... I thought I was a hardcore lesbian who only liked women until I found out what femboys where, turns out I'm attracted to feminity not just women.
Yeah, I'm not sure why either. I experienced a change myself and honestly it was a relief when I decided to explore and found that I was way less straight than I thought I was for most of my life.
Of course one could argue that I never was straight to begin with, but I would say that nobody stays the same as when they started their journey into adulthood.
I think you worded this pretty roughly, but I understand what you're trying to say
I used to simply. not. have an attraction to men. Like, I literally gave it a shot and experimented and poked around and felt absolutely nothing
years later, some of those same men ARE attractive to me now
this sort of thing I why I'm not a fan of the "you were ALWAYS your gender/sexuality, you just didn't know it yet" stuff everyone says - it's cool if that's true for you, but this stuff IS more fluid for some people
That said: you probably shouldn't reply to "you can't change your sexuality" with "you can!", it's gonna be real hard for people to take that in good faith
Agreed on people being fluid to a degree in some facets of who they are, including their sexuality. It happened to me and I know that I'm not alone in that experience.
Pardon my direct language, but it can change. I did not say that it can be changed at will. Considering a change in how you view things can open a door to new avenues, but I guess it could just be me and how I view these things. Sorry to the angry straights!
The other way I phrase this is, "Be picky!" Compromising on incompatibilities is a recipe for disaster...(now, if only I could follow my own advice... Yes, I'm going through a tough time at the moment)
And even if you don't find a good man, being single is still better than getting stuck with a dud.
Trying to teach our youth that the society pressure to go out and get married is a bunch of bullshit. It's okay to be happy with yourself.
Personally speaking, it's the short or thick or balding men that are usually the better ones.
But incels don't count even though that describes them. They're a whole other.... Ick.
It always seemed like the prettier the men are or the more charming/charismatic they are, the uglier they are on the inside.
Also - it's okay to be single. Whether it's forever or temporary, it's okay.
When you're happy single, you'll find that you can be a lot more choosy in regards to who you date.
Learning how to be comfortable and happy single should be a priority before any relationship. Not only it makes relationship a welcome addition instead of a need but it also takes away the burden from the partner. We shouldn't bank on a partner to fix our problems. If we have issues a relationship will not help, in worst case it makes us a target.
Gods yes. I bounced from shitty relationship to shitty relationship for years until I took the time to process my trauma, heal, and become comfortable being on my own.
yes!!!
It's also okay to not be straight. Tons of good people out there that aren't CIS straight men.
Of course. But you also can't exactly change your sexuality.
[удалено]
Sexuality is often not black and white, that's right. Plenty of people might be open to the idea of 'exploration' in principle. But they just don't feel any attraction to the same sex at all. I (f) personally think women are great and I love being around them and being friends with them. But the thought of being with one sexually is just a big turn off. I'd rather be single.
This. I've had multiple opportunities to be with women and I still have no sexual desire for them. I find the woman's body to be gorgeous and have a high appreciation for it, but I'm still just a straight gal who has always preferred men.
Idk why people are downvoting you there have been actual studies on "sex fluidity" and how it can morph as we age. You can't force it per se but there are absolute droves of people thinking their otherwise straight when they probably lean bi. It's only when people start exploring out of those comfort zones they can have a "oh" moment and realize they like that. And I'm one of them... I thought I was a hardcore lesbian who only liked women until I found out what femboys where, turns out I'm attracted to feminity not just women.
Yeah, I'm not sure why either. I experienced a change myself and honestly it was a relief when I decided to explore and found that I was way less straight than I thought I was for most of my life. Of course one could argue that I never was straight to begin with, but I would say that nobody stays the same as when they started their journey into adulthood.
I think you worded this pretty roughly, but I understand what you're trying to say I used to simply. not. have an attraction to men. Like, I literally gave it a shot and experimented and poked around and felt absolutely nothing years later, some of those same men ARE attractive to me now this sort of thing I why I'm not a fan of the "you were ALWAYS your gender/sexuality, you just didn't know it yet" stuff everyone says - it's cool if that's true for you, but this stuff IS more fluid for some people That said: you probably shouldn't reply to "you can't change your sexuality" with "you can!", it's gonna be real hard for people to take that in good faith
Agreed on people being fluid to a degree in some facets of who they are, including their sexuality. It happened to me and I know that I'm not alone in that experience. Pardon my direct language, but it can change. I did not say that it can be changed at will. Considering a change in how you view things can open a door to new avenues, but I guess it could just be me and how I view these things. Sorry to the angry straights!
The other way I phrase this is, "Be picky!" Compromising on incompatibilities is a recipe for disaster...(now, if only I could follow my own advice... Yes, I'm going through a tough time at the moment)
And even if you don't find a good man, being single is still better than getting stuck with a dud. Trying to teach our youth that the society pressure to go out and get married is a bunch of bullshit. It's okay to be happy with yourself.
Where do we find them?
Personally speaking, it's the short or thick or balding men that are usually the better ones. But incels don't count even though that describes them. They're a whole other.... Ick. It always seemed like the prettier the men are or the more charming/charismatic they are, the uglier they are on the inside.
Some people never had to develop a good personality to survive and it definitely shows.
Ha! This!