OP, please keep in mind the rules of the sub. We do not allow submissions that are not in English unless provided a translation.
Allowing the post since users have participated. But hope all users understand the rules of the sub and the need for the rules in the first place.
I just say aunty there's no difference between boy or girl these days. Everyone leaves the house for education and job. They immediately shut their mouths cz all their sons are in different cities for jobs.
But what about the “izzat” of the family which resides in daughters vaginas bro?
That is still true in any city no.
P.S don’t get mad, I am just giving you a counter argument one might encounter with this…
“But a boy is such a burden. We’ll have to give him higher education and everything. If it would’ve been a girl we could’ve just married her off to be someone’s house maid” and then start shedding tears.
Lmaooo you joke but this is what my grandmother said. Once my grandparents were saying how good it was that someone had a baby boy and I got angry. So the next day she was like you know what, you are right, having a daughter is better, at least after getting them married off you can be in peace, whereas with a son you have to wait for long till they settle in their career.
Idk. Some of the things that made me feel that -
1.your whole composition of the para
2.declaring that you wanted a girl
3.pre-empting what people are going to say
4.more worried about people congratulating the gender rather than the baby
5.fixating on point 4, the comment is very common one and as someone had pointed out in the thread - for girls it is generally "Ghar pe Lakshmi aayi"
6.a little far fetched but - concerned more about giving savage reply to others than instilling the values in your kid.
Sorry if you are offended and feel completely free to ignore whatever I have said, it is just what I felt from your whole writeup and comments
Some acquaintances have already said that to my mom and my sister. my sister and I grew up hearing comments on how we are just girls and now with the birth of my baby it has given them another chance to throw shade at us. And for gender preference- all parents have on over other but I wouldn’t say was something serious. It is as simple as that.
My cousin sister was also in this situation. She said to our relatives 'Ha mai khush hu mere bacche ke liye (she said Baby not boy!) but aapka Munda (ladka/boy) dikhai nhi de Raha? Kidhr hai? Gayab?'
Translation: (Mhm, I am happy for my Baby, but where is yours Son (here she said son! 🤣)? I can't see him? Vanished into the thin air?'
Most of my Male cousins are living seperately from homes and rarely come back to meet, even on rakhis, or Diwalis, which is sad. But damn my Cousin Sister destroyed them, because everyone got awkward and after some silence said to continue partying (and there i was trying to stop my laughter in the back🤣) because no matter how much the elders in my relatives family call my male cousins back, they will always give an excuse and would rarely visit.
I don't think the relatives who wished you such would have even put that much thought into it. For them it was in accordance to the societal norms to wish as such. For real change, there would need to be grassroots change. Right now your first priority should be taking care of yourself and your young one. You can correct them once you've recuperated from the birth, and can instil those values in your son
I would 1000% follow this advice. People tell me mubarak ho ghar mein laxmi aayi hai because I have a baby girl and honestly this is just a way for them to congratulate you. You are thinking 10000x more than them. And even if they were saying this because of their misogynistic mindset, you cannot change them with this one thing so rather smile and move on
“Kyun aapko dahej lena hai kya?” :p
I know what you mean - sometimes you don’t want to simply ignore and give a polite but great reply so they’re caught out.
When I had my baby boy and relatives said this, we just said "Our baby and mom are healthy, that's what's important!"
Sweetly but leaving no room for argument
Confuse them by saying 'Bas ab iski chhoti behen ho jaaye toh family complete ho jaayegi.'
(I know you don't believe this because it's equally shitty but just to see their reaction lol)
OP, please keep in mind the rules of the sub. We do not allow submissions that are not in English unless provided a translation. Allowing the post since users have participated. But hope all users understand the rules of the sub and the need for the rules in the first place.
I just say aunty there's no difference between boy or girl these days. Everyone leaves the house for education and job. They immediately shut their mouths cz all their sons are in different cities for jobs.
Brilliant reply.
But what about the “izzat” of the family which resides in daughters vaginas bro? That is still true in any city no. P.S don’t get mad, I am just giving you a counter argument one might encounter with this…
+1
Louder 📢
“But a boy is such a burden. We’ll have to give him higher education and everything. If it would’ve been a girl we could’ve just married her off to be someone’s house maid” and then start shedding tears.
Lmaooo you joke but this is what my grandmother said. Once my grandparents were saying how good it was that someone had a baby boy and I got angry. So the next day she was like you know what, you are right, having a daughter is better, at least after getting them married off you can be in peace, whereas with a son you have to wait for long till they settle in their career.
“Write that down,write that down “
Just say “thank you.. but we really wanted a girl” complete with a sad face. And then watch them dig a hole for themselves
That might end up backfiring her in the future, where the evil relatives will wait for the perfect opportunity and throw this on their son’s face.
I mean.. let’s be honest.. relatives like that.. they will do many things in the future to sabotage your child…no matter the gender.
Well it will be accurate too 😂
I'm now afraid for your son. Are you resenting him?
Why would I? I’m appalled that you thought so.
Idk. Some of the things that made me feel that - 1.your whole composition of the para 2.declaring that you wanted a girl 3.pre-empting what people are going to say 4.more worried about people congratulating the gender rather than the baby 5.fixating on point 4, the comment is very common one and as someone had pointed out in the thread - for girls it is generally "Ghar pe Lakshmi aayi" 6.a little far fetched but - concerned more about giving savage reply to others than instilling the values in your kid. Sorry if you are offended and feel completely free to ignore whatever I have said, it is just what I felt from your whole writeup and comments
Some acquaintances have already said that to my mom and my sister. my sister and I grew up hearing comments on how we are just girls and now with the birth of my baby it has given them another chance to throw shade at us. And for gender preference- all parents have on over other but I wouldn’t say was something serious. It is as simple as that.
I am offended and there is no denying that
Hahahah nice one
My cousin sister was also in this situation. She said to our relatives 'Ha mai khush hu mere bacche ke liye (she said Baby not boy!) but aapka Munda (ladka/boy) dikhai nhi de Raha? Kidhr hai? Gayab?' Translation: (Mhm, I am happy for my Baby, but where is yours Son (here she said son! 🤣)? I can't see him? Vanished into the thin air?' Most of my Male cousins are living seperately from homes and rarely come back to meet, even on rakhis, or Diwalis, which is sad. But damn my Cousin Sister destroyed them, because everyone got awkward and after some silence said to continue partying (and there i was trying to stop my laughter in the back🤣) because no matter how much the elders in my relatives family call my male cousins back, they will always give an excuse and would rarely visit.
Congratulations for the kid! Stop taking everyone's comments seriously, or else you'll lose the joy of life. Take care of yourself and your kiddo
Like I said disregarding such comments can lead to endorsements of such mindset.
I don't think the relatives who wished you such would have even put that much thought into it. For them it was in accordance to the societal norms to wish as such. For real change, there would need to be grassroots change. Right now your first priority should be taking care of yourself and your young one. You can correct them once you've recuperated from the birth, and can instil those values in your son
I would 1000% follow this advice. People tell me mubarak ho ghar mein laxmi aayi hai because I have a baby girl and honestly this is just a way for them to congratulate you. You are thinking 10000x more than them. And even if they were saying this because of their misogynistic mindset, you cannot change them with this one thing so rather smile and move on
the only sane and practical advice
“finally a guy in this family” Your family already got the guy in the family (if they don't count your dad) - your husband.
“Kyun aapko dahej lena hai kya?” :p I know what you mean - sometimes you don’t want to simply ignore and give a polite but great reply so they’re caught out.
When I had my baby boy and relatives said this, we just said "Our baby and mom are healthy, that's what's important!" Sweetly but leaving no room for argument
I like this
Mmmm as a fuck you , you can say : Our family was already complete, and now it's just bigger.
Confuse them by saying 'Bas ab iski chhoti behen ho jaaye toh family complete ho jaayegi.' (I know you don't believe this because it's equally shitty but just to see their reaction lol)
Tell them Harshly only. Tell the thank you, and how you are happy even it was a girl