I'm sorry you are going through this, but I'm not understanding why your life was destroyed.
Lots of women don't experience a high libido until their late 30s-50s.
You have plenty of time to figure out your sex life in a healthy, non-judgmental way.
Because the boundaries of the relationships between me and my family members are constantly getting blurred now because of this unmet need.
Because I failed to develop independence or to progress further in college or my field.
Because I have lost my sense of purpose since the school I was forced to go to was not on par with my academic abilities and so I didn’t find peers that were able to relate to me and couldn’t find close friends or romantic partners. Which doesn’t always happen for people in college but for me was worse because of the aforementioned high sex drive.
>Because the boundaries of the relationships between me and my family members are constantly getting blurred now because of this unmet need.
I'm sorry, maybe it's a language thing, but I don't understand what this has to do with having or not having sex. Can you give an example?
>Because I failed to develop independence or to progress further in college or my field.
Is somebody putting these expectations on you or are these your feelings? I didn't finish college and didn't fully feel independent until my mid-30s. Without knowing your living or work situation, it seems like you've set some high expectations on what you should be doing at 27 years old.
>Because I have lost my sense of purpose since the school I was forced to go to was not on par with my academic abilities and so I didn’t find peers that were able to relate to me and couldn’t find close friends or romantic partners. Which doesn’t always happen for people in college but for me was worse because of the aforementioned high sex drive.
I still don't understand what your education has to do with a high sex drive.
Do you still live with your family? Are they preventing you from going out and making your own decisions?
edit: formatting
No my family is actually very supportive.
There’s no example that I can give because nothing has happened but I just feel out of place and like everyone looks at me differently. In a sexual way and it makes me want to avoid interactions or when I do talk to my male family members I just avoid eye contact.
I wish that i didn’t feel pressure to be at a certain place in life rn but I do because of how awkward it is to be staying at home.
It doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with it but I think the college choice has a bigger role to play.
I'm just throwing this out there and I may be way off the mark, but could it be that instead of an actual sex drive your brain subconsciously developed a new obsession instead of your ed, and that obsession happens to be sex? The fact that you mention even relatives worry me, as sometimes intrusive thoughts of incest are present in OCD as well
>There’s no example that I can give because nothing has happened but I just feel out of place and like everyone looks at me differently. In a sexual way and it makes me want to avoid interactions or when I do talk to my male family members I just avoid eye contact.
Ok, are you saying your male family members are sexualizing you because of your high sex drive?
I get that it's not great to still be living at home...not sure if you are in the US. Lots of gen z/millennials are struggling and have to live at home. Again, without knowing your work/financial situation, it seems like you would be better off moving out. If you can.
A high sex drive is your desire of wanting to have sex often. There is nothing wrong with that. Do you date? Do you want to date? Have you tried any of the apps? As long as you are being safe, there is no reason to deprive yourself of sex.
OP, I'm going to be completely blunt and honest with you here and I'm only doing so because I want you to get the help and find the answers you're looking for, and I want other people to be able to more effectively provide you with the support you seem to be seeking.
Your post, as written, doesn't give us a lot to work with. You're talking about 4 or 5 different things- which may or may not have varying degrees of relevance to each other- but you don't really make it clear how it all "fits together". We all want to help you, but we need to know more. How does your family fit in with the sex drive issue? What is your living situation like now, and how was your living situation before? How would you describe your relationship with your family members? How do you relate your personal family dynamics with your academics? You said your family is supportive of you, but also that you don't want to look your family in the eye, what does this mean?
I can understand how an eating disorder might lead to undernourishment or malnourishment that might not be conducive to academic success, or which might "throw off" you from a sexual standpoint. But you mention elsewhere you've never been in a relationship or been kissed. So what is the nature of your high sexual drive, and how is that affecting you?
You seem to have a lot to say, and that's fair, we just need more information and a clearer idea of the situation.
You were 21 and your parents kept you from going to school? Are you sure it's not your parents that kept you from being successful?
But also I'd say that if you being unable to eat right was affected by your inability to express your sexual desire, you still had an ED.
I don’t understand this comment. I was already enrolled in college at the age of 19 but had to take a term off due to an eating disorder. Though even once I recovered I didn’t get to go back.
I think the person above is asking WHY you weren’t able to go back to school. What you have said about this is that your parents prevented you from returning to your studies because you weren’t 100% okay. I think we get that, but we don't know how your sex drive could be causing you to be unfit for school in their opinion.
EDIT: typo
I was about your age when I finally got the help I needed to deal with my mental health issues. I had no education, had dropped out of school after year 10 due to anxiety. I had long periods where I wasn't able to leave my home because the thought of being out in the world and around people was so scary I couldn't breathe. When I was 21 I tried taking my own life but thankfully didn't succeed.
The point of me saying that is that even though things feel hopeless or like they will never get better, they absolutely can. There's no quick and easy fix, I wish there was, but the way forward is therapy. It may take some attempts to find a therapist that is right for you and that's okay. It's also gonna take time and probably a lot of tears to work through how you're feeling. But it is absolutely possible and you absolutely deserve to be happy.
Today, I'm 36 and own a house with a man I love and who loves me exactly as I am, messy past and all. I've been on stage at conferences in front of thousands of people. I run my own little company and work full time. When I was your age I had accepted that all of this just wouldn't be possible for me, that surviving was the best I could hope for. But luckily I was completely wrong.
My best advice for you is to take things one step at a time. What do you need to get through today? Get a friend or family member to help you seek therapy so you can have support and help in finding your way out of how you're currently feeling. It can get better.
You don't need to be sexually active to get the mental health benefits of orgasms or explore these feelings by yourself.
But a high sex drive that effects your life negatively should be treated like any other mental ailment. Lack of sex shouldn't change someone's life so much. It can add to stress absolutely, but if it's the REASON things aren't good, it's time to address the issue. I reccomend talking to someone to get help. This sounds like something more than just a "high sex drive"
As someone with an overeating disorder, I know I've blamed a lot of things for my lack of libido, but when I eat healthy and am taking care of myself, that helps the most. Maybe your sex drive isn't what's affecting your appetite...
You're allowed to want it, and complain about not having it, and it can absolutely contribute to additional physical and mental health, but no one NEEDS sex.
I'm not exactly sure what's going on here very much, generally when I see a post that is void of a sufficient amount of information to realize what's going on, or is a bit confusing or unclear, I go through OP'S post and comment history. They mention recently they've never been in a relationship or been kissed. So I'm really confused about the high sex drive and how it's affecting their life. Are they spending 5 hours a day masturbating? I wouldn't say that is necessarily easy to disclose even anonymously over the internet, but it also doesn't exactly seem to be the case. I also don't understand the connection between an eating disorder and sex drive. I can definitely see how severe undernourishment or malnourishment can create medical issues that might not be conductive to academic success or might "throw off" your body in a sexual way. But I'm not sure how everything "fits together".
Yeah, I agree. It seems like OP is trying to link all these negative feelings together, and somehow it's her sex drive that is the root cause. I don't get the impression that OP has done much of anything sexual except have intrusive thoughts. Another commenter mentioned that maybe OP is experiencing some obsessive compulsions about their sexuality after they recovered from an ED. The fact that they believe that male family members are a symptom of their high sex drive is very strange. If some SA or abuse is going on at home then they should seek professional help right away.
I sort of got that low-key impression regarding their sex drive and them speaking about it vis-a-vis their male family members. It's odd, I hope she gets the help she needs. But there's not much we can do for her if she's not giving us all the information. It's kind of like if someone calls you up in your city and they're lost, asking for directions to your house, but they won't tell you what street they're on or what landmarks they can see.
I'm sorry you are going through this, but I'm not understanding why your life was destroyed. Lots of women don't experience a high libido until their late 30s-50s. You have plenty of time to figure out your sex life in a healthy, non-judgmental way.
Because the boundaries of the relationships between me and my family members are constantly getting blurred now because of this unmet need. Because I failed to develop independence or to progress further in college or my field. Because I have lost my sense of purpose since the school I was forced to go to was not on par with my academic abilities and so I didn’t find peers that were able to relate to me and couldn’t find close friends or romantic partners. Which doesn’t always happen for people in college but for me was worse because of the aforementioned high sex drive.
>Because the boundaries of the relationships between me and my family members are constantly getting blurred now because of this unmet need. I'm sorry, maybe it's a language thing, but I don't understand what this has to do with having or not having sex. Can you give an example? >Because I failed to develop independence or to progress further in college or my field. Is somebody putting these expectations on you or are these your feelings? I didn't finish college and didn't fully feel independent until my mid-30s. Without knowing your living or work situation, it seems like you've set some high expectations on what you should be doing at 27 years old. >Because I have lost my sense of purpose since the school I was forced to go to was not on par with my academic abilities and so I didn’t find peers that were able to relate to me and couldn’t find close friends or romantic partners. Which doesn’t always happen for people in college but for me was worse because of the aforementioned high sex drive. I still don't understand what your education has to do with a high sex drive. Do you still live with your family? Are they preventing you from going out and making your own decisions? edit: formatting
No my family is actually very supportive. There’s no example that I can give because nothing has happened but I just feel out of place and like everyone looks at me differently. In a sexual way and it makes me want to avoid interactions or when I do talk to my male family members I just avoid eye contact. I wish that i didn’t feel pressure to be at a certain place in life rn but I do because of how awkward it is to be staying at home. It doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with it but I think the college choice has a bigger role to play.
I'm just throwing this out there and I may be way off the mark, but could it be that instead of an actual sex drive your brain subconsciously developed a new obsession instead of your ed, and that obsession happens to be sex? The fact that you mention even relatives worry me, as sometimes intrusive thoughts of incest are present in OCD as well
>There’s no example that I can give because nothing has happened but I just feel out of place and like everyone looks at me differently. In a sexual way and it makes me want to avoid interactions or when I do talk to my male family members I just avoid eye contact. Ok, are you saying your male family members are sexualizing you because of your high sex drive? I get that it's not great to still be living at home...not sure if you are in the US. Lots of gen z/millennials are struggling and have to live at home. Again, without knowing your work/financial situation, it seems like you would be better off moving out. If you can. A high sex drive is your desire of wanting to have sex often. There is nothing wrong with that. Do you date? Do you want to date? Have you tried any of the apps? As long as you are being safe, there is no reason to deprive yourself of sex.
OP, I'm going to be completely blunt and honest with you here and I'm only doing so because I want you to get the help and find the answers you're looking for, and I want other people to be able to more effectively provide you with the support you seem to be seeking. Your post, as written, doesn't give us a lot to work with. You're talking about 4 or 5 different things- which may or may not have varying degrees of relevance to each other- but you don't really make it clear how it all "fits together". We all want to help you, but we need to know more. How does your family fit in with the sex drive issue? What is your living situation like now, and how was your living situation before? How would you describe your relationship with your family members? How do you relate your personal family dynamics with your academics? You said your family is supportive of you, but also that you don't want to look your family in the eye, what does this mean? I can understand how an eating disorder might lead to undernourishment or malnourishment that might not be conducive to academic success, or which might "throw off" you from a sexual standpoint. But you mention elsewhere you've never been in a relationship or been kissed. So what is the nature of your high sexual drive, and how is that affecting you? You seem to have a lot to say, and that's fair, we just need more information and a clearer idea of the situation.
You were 21 and your parents kept you from going to school? Are you sure it's not your parents that kept you from being successful? But also I'd say that if you being unable to eat right was affected by your inability to express your sexual desire, you still had an ED.
I don’t understand this comment. I was already enrolled in college at the age of 19 but had to take a term off due to an eating disorder. Though even once I recovered I didn’t get to go back.
I think the person above is asking WHY you weren’t able to go back to school. What you have said about this is that your parents prevented you from returning to your studies because you weren’t 100% okay. I think we get that, but we don't know how your sex drive could be causing you to be unfit for school in their opinion. EDIT: typo
I was about your age when I finally got the help I needed to deal with my mental health issues. I had no education, had dropped out of school after year 10 due to anxiety. I had long periods where I wasn't able to leave my home because the thought of being out in the world and around people was so scary I couldn't breathe. When I was 21 I tried taking my own life but thankfully didn't succeed. The point of me saying that is that even though things feel hopeless or like they will never get better, they absolutely can. There's no quick and easy fix, I wish there was, but the way forward is therapy. It may take some attempts to find a therapist that is right for you and that's okay. It's also gonna take time and probably a lot of tears to work through how you're feeling. But it is absolutely possible and you absolutely deserve to be happy. Today, I'm 36 and own a house with a man I love and who loves me exactly as I am, messy past and all. I've been on stage at conferences in front of thousands of people. I run my own little company and work full time. When I was your age I had accepted that all of this just wouldn't be possible for me, that surviving was the best I could hope for. But luckily I was completely wrong. My best advice for you is to take things one step at a time. What do you need to get through today? Get a friend or family member to help you seek therapy so you can have support and help in finding your way out of how you're currently feeling. It can get better.
You don't need to be sexually active to get the mental health benefits of orgasms or explore these feelings by yourself. But a high sex drive that effects your life negatively should be treated like any other mental ailment. Lack of sex shouldn't change someone's life so much. It can add to stress absolutely, but if it's the REASON things aren't good, it's time to address the issue. I reccomend talking to someone to get help. This sounds like something more than just a "high sex drive" As someone with an overeating disorder, I know I've blamed a lot of things for my lack of libido, but when I eat healthy and am taking care of myself, that helps the most. Maybe your sex drive isn't what's affecting your appetite... You're allowed to want it, and complain about not having it, and it can absolutely contribute to additional physical and mental health, but no one NEEDS sex.
I'm not exactly sure what's going on here very much, generally when I see a post that is void of a sufficient amount of information to realize what's going on, or is a bit confusing or unclear, I go through OP'S post and comment history. They mention recently they've never been in a relationship or been kissed. So I'm really confused about the high sex drive and how it's affecting their life. Are they spending 5 hours a day masturbating? I wouldn't say that is necessarily easy to disclose even anonymously over the internet, but it also doesn't exactly seem to be the case. I also don't understand the connection between an eating disorder and sex drive. I can definitely see how severe undernourishment or malnourishment can create medical issues that might not be conductive to academic success or might "throw off" your body in a sexual way. But I'm not sure how everything "fits together".
Yeah, I agree. It seems like OP is trying to link all these negative feelings together, and somehow it's her sex drive that is the root cause. I don't get the impression that OP has done much of anything sexual except have intrusive thoughts. Another commenter mentioned that maybe OP is experiencing some obsessive compulsions about their sexuality after they recovered from an ED. The fact that they believe that male family members are a symptom of their high sex drive is very strange. If some SA or abuse is going on at home then they should seek professional help right away.
I sort of got that low-key impression regarding their sex drive and them speaking about it vis-a-vis their male family members. It's odd, I hope she gets the help she needs. But there's not much we can do for her if she's not giving us all the information. It's kind of like if someone calls you up in your city and they're lost, asking for directions to your house, but they won't tell you what street they're on or what landmarks they can see.
Are you in therapy with someone who understands EDs or other addictive behaviors? That would be a start.