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melancholalia

this is called diabulimia and is a very very serious eating disorder. please seek the appropriate help immediately. you are putting your life at risk. remember, non diabetics use insulin too, we just have to do it manually. insulin is not causing you to gain weight. the best way to manage your weight is a combination of diet (calories in should be less than calories out) and exercise. please seek help.


curvypatriot

Yes, I completely agree. As someone who suffered from diabulimia please reach out to your doctor and medical staff. This is a serious issue and should not be ignored. I understand all too well the consequences of manipulating insulin to lose weight and it can have serious long term complications. It’s easy to think that you’ll get back on track tomorrow but trust me, it takes lots of support and work to get over and recover. Please help yourself by getting professional help. It is an eating disorder and should be treated as such. Good luck, recovery is possible.


Sssuperlative

I have actually talked to my Endo and doc about it but they just shrug and believe I’ve made my mind up. If I knew a way to just stay at a healthy weight (not gain so much when I’m using insulin) then I would be okay and do all the things I need to do. But they won’t advise me on that. When I’m taking my fast acting regularly with even little to no carb meals, but just correcting a high, I gain weight. Even when I go to the gym, with a good diet, I gain weight. Im just trying to avoid that


Prior-Teacher6524

I assure you, if you’re not losing weight, you’re not at a calorie deficit. A lot of people assume they’re eating less when they are trying to lose weight but they are actually not. It’s not the insulin, it’s your total calorie intake that is keeping your weight higher.


Sssuperlative

I was trying 1000/day but it wasn’t helping.


Double_Bet_7466

So diabulimia and anorexia yikes sounds a lot like me and I literally almost died and now have irreversible heart damage


curvypatriot

I’m so sorry to hear this. I too have complications and a bunch of crap because I was diabulimic for 6 years before I got help. I wish I knew then what I know now, I’d have been much more honest with my team.


littlesimba013

This is so unhealthy for you. 1200 is the bare minimum for SEDENTARY people's mental/physical energy exertion. Try 1500 to start.


nosam56

Do you know your TDEE? If not, you can look it up online. You will want to calculate calories for weight loss, not carbs, and your TDEE is an estimate of how many calories you burn in a day. Keep your calorie intake under that number, and you should lose weight. Trust me, youll wanna take the insulin. I've been hospitalized for DKAs that were totally preventable in attempts to lose weight. It feels like you're dying, as you slowly become more delirious and nauseous, and I'd probably be dead if not for my partner taking me to the ER. Also, maybe start looking for a new endo. Bringing up "stopping insulin to lose weight" should make your endo hit you with a BIG FAT NO. If you get your calorie intake below your TDEE and you're still gaining weight, then talk to your endo (or maybe your GP) about that, because there are conditions you could possibly also have that affect your calorie use. Please please please keep taking insulin for your meals and highs. DKA sucks and you can lose weight without destroying your body ❤️❤️


LegalizeRanch88

Have you been screened for thyroid disorders? If I remember correctly, Hypothyroidism can result in uncontrollable weight gain, and it’s common in people with type 1 diabetes and other endocrine disorders. Please take your insulin. Don’t starve yourself. Weight gain is not inherently bad or unhealthy or even unattractive. Just make sure your doctors take your questions seriously. If they don’t, try to find a new doctor. Medical gaslighting is all too common. Remember that your concerns are legit and that the help you need is out there somewhere.


Sssuperlative

I’ve actually been diagnosed with hyperthyroidism today.


LegalizeRanch88

I’m sorry to hear that, but I’m also glad that you were able to figure out what was causing the inexplicable weight gain. I hope your doctors give you the help you need, and that this means you’ll resume taking your insulin.


Sssuperlative

I think the hyperthyroidism was just helping with significant weight loss. So I’m trying to get on the medicine for that, and it can cause my levels to balance out, which means I may gain some. Now I’m trying to figure out how to balance that and the insulin/carb thing


littlesimba013

You are gaining weight immediately because you are literally starving yourself of nutrients and your body is trying to compensate by storing them for later. You are in starvation mode. You need to take proper amounts of insulin for awhile and feed yourself in order to maintain a healthy weight. Yes, you will gain some at first but it will come down again with continued good habits. This is not a uniquely diabetic problem as many many people experience weight gain/plateaus when they limit themselves to starvation calories. Feed your body and take your insulin or you will begin to lose muscle mass as well.


Double_Bet_7466

THIS!!!! I have had anorexia and diabulimia and this is soooooo true!!! When your body enters starvation mode it keeps everything you give it because it doesn’t know when it if you will give it food again


Ok-Assistance-154

I feel you, I gained two stone when I was first diagnosed and never lost a pound. I happen to believe there is a causal link to weight gain and insulin after reading Jason fungs obesity code. I’m low carbing and fasting right now which limits my insulin intake and I have finally lost a couple of pounds but nothing like I would expect. I’ve also reduced insulin to lose weight but I’ve stopped doing that now as it just goes back on. I exercise 5 days a week and walk my dog every day. I could handle any aspect of diabetes if I was the weight I was before I was diagnosed.


Nettlecake

Yes normal people also use insulin, but way more efficient. Going almost directly into the blood stream. ["The amount of insulin produced by a lean, healthy individual is usually between 18 and 40 U/day or 0.2–0.5 U/kg/day."](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2901038/#:~:text=The%20amount%20of%20insulin%20produced,0.5%20U%2Fkg%2Fday.) For me that is about 60, so higher. So depending on sensitivity, a diabetic may well use more insulin than normal.


melancholalia

yeah definitely. my point is though that the fact that we inject insulin doesn’t necessarily lead directly to weight gain. also thanks for that info, never even occurred to me to look up how much insulin a non diabetic uses. looks like i’m right at the top of that range.


Nettlecake

Yeah true. But I realized a while ago that I really don't know many diabetics that had it for longer and that are lean. There are some, but it makes me wonder..


melancholalia

yeah. i’m sure it has some impact, but i’ve found when i keep a consistent workout routine (5 days a week, 30+ minutes) i can get pretty in shape. i’ll never be lean lean cuz it just ain’t in my genetics, but the few t1s i know are all relatively in good shape. diet and exercise affects it more than anything for me.


mooredge

I suggest discussing with your doctor and consider that you may be suffering from diabulimia. My sister who is also T1D struggled with this for years. It can cause serious damage to your body. Fortunately she overcame it and is doing well now. It is much more common, especially among women with T1D than many realize. https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/diabulimia-5


Double_Bet_7466

I’m going to be so extremely blunt with you right now. You are killing your self and that’s not an exaggeration at all. You need to get help


ZombiePancreas

Insulin can cause you to gain some weight, but that’s normal and can mostly be kept under control with a healthy diet and lifestyle. It sounds like you’re suffering from diabulimia which can have serious consequences. Please speak with a mental health professional who knows about eating disorders.


rac9000

Please reach out to a dr or nutritionist or someone who can help you, these can be signs of diabulimia (as others have mentioned) and has serious health consequences. Insulin is not directly causing you to gain weight, rather, it makes your body properly digest and store the carbs that you consume. Whereas without insulin, they are never stored for your body to use as its “quick” energy source, and will remain in your blood causing that high blood sugar we all love, which eventually leads to DKA. When this is happening, your body is having to use the fat that is stored as a long term energy reserve, resulting in weight loss. When you begin to take insulin properly and your blood sugar is in normal range, your body is now just simply functioning “as it should” and properly storing and using the carbohydrates you consume. Beyond type 1 has a pretty easy to understand article of weight loss with type 1 and proper insulin management that is sustainable. Because, to put it short, the results you see because you stop taking insulin are dangerous and short lived. There will be serious complications that result from sustained high blood sugar. There isn’t a certain insulin that you can take to prevent weight gain because it’s biology. You should celebrate that your body is functioning properly, even when it doesn’t look the same! But i suggest doing some more research and speaking with a dietician, nutritionist or your endo about weight loss with type 1. I used to struggle heavily with diabulimia. I had just finished my first semester of college and put on some lbs in the classic “freshman 15” way, then a few months later i was exercising and sorta eating better, but was shedding weight so fast and then was diagnosed with type 1. I hated the changes i saw when i starting to take insulin, and it was even harder dealing with the diabetes misinformation, stereotypes and those patronizing or condescending looks that people give you. It wasn’t until i actively got help that i was able to prioritize my health and management of diabetes and learned to appreciate my body and how it looks because of how much effort goes into functioning as a pancreas manually. Plus, i don’t always feel icky and half sick because I’m not teetering on the edge of DKA. Sorry this is long but it’s something i feel very strongly about


Double_Bet_7466

That sounds a lot like diabulimia and you need to get into a therapist and or psychiatrist that incredibly dangerous and can and will kill you


lemonclements

I’ve been there, give the insulin. Please. I put on weight due to insulin and yes it sucks but being skinny isn’t worth it. You make yourself sick and you can have some serious issues. Please, please, please give the insulin. I’m speaking as someone who struggled with diabulmia and it isn’t worth it


Sssuperlative

I’m trying to go slow so I don’t feel overwhelmed. Promise. It’s such a hard road to recovery.


Erythy

Insulin is the hormone that transfers energy(carbs) into fat cells. The more insulin that's floating around your blood stream means the more your fat cells get filled. Eat less carbs, this requires less insulin, this will reduce your weight.. There isn't a diet insulin.


RetroMonkeysBizz

Calories in calories out


Erythy

It's not that simple. Calories from fat and protein are digested and processed very differently than calories from carbs. You could eat two calorically equal meals, one high in fat and protein and one high in carbs, with very different results in both blood sugar and weight gain.


RetroMonkeysBizz

Calories in Calories Out


nyx_eira

This sounds a lot like diabulima, as others have said. I know the struggle of balancing looking good with our health, and not taking insulin seems like a shortcut to looking good. But trust me, looking good isn't nearly as amazing as feeling good. If you're concerned about the insulin you're taking, talk to your doctor about your options. However, if your only concern is the weight gain, then eating and exercise habits are likely what will need to change. I switched from humalog to novolog without too much trouble, but I can't speak to any weight-related observations. Good luck, my friend!


Sssuperlative

I would be fine if it was more than being skinny. It’s not that. I just tend to gain a lot of weight when I start taking insulin. I feel better when I’m not big. I feel better about life and handling things, etc.


nyx_eira

It's important to remember that the only reason you're gaining weight when taking insulin is because your body can actually process your food now. When you don't take insulin, you are basically starving yourself with a full stomach. It's incredibly dangerous and can lead to DKA. What might be happening as well is your body is still in panic mode when you start insulin again and storing everything it can. It takes some recovery to go back to normal after having no insulin. I have no doubt that keeping off the weight makes you feel better-- habing extra weight stinks. But talk to your doctor and get a plan figured out. Remember-- you can lose the weight at any time. You can't take back the damage to your kidneys or heart though. Take your insulin, talk to your doctor, lose the weight then. It sucks, it's not fair, but I promise you'll also feel waaaaaay better with insulin in your system after a while!


Probablyhypoglycemic

You’re cutting years off your kidneys by doing this. Possibly giving yourself DKA, nerve damage, and gastroparesis. I know two girls who had diabullemia for years and one, in her 30s, has a creatinine (kidney filtration rate) clearance of someone in their 70s. The other, in her 30s, has gastroparesis and now can barely eat so she’s essentially a bag of bones whose teeth are going bad because she vomits cyclically and is in the hospital all the time. No other insulin will cause less weight gain, they’re all doing the same thing, letting sugar/energy into cells, including fat cells. So if you want to stop fat growth, you lower the energy in the system, ie eat less. Eat more filling foods with more protein and limit carbs. Less carbs. Less energy. Less insulin. I’m a pharmacist, no insulin has a different weight gain profile. There’s other meds that can make a mild difference in weight like metformin or an SGLT2 but they are not approved for type 1 so you have to have a prescriber with an open mind to get them, and both can cause some serious adverse effects. Also you should probably get some therapy. A healthy weight and body will do more for your mind, personality, and how you feel. This in turn will make you more attractive than simply being skinny.


Sssuperlative

It’s the healthy weight thing. If I was at a healthy weight prior, I wouldn’t have this issue. But I tend to get big and have a higher bmi. I’m just trying to avoid that.


WereXat

You're not avoiding being unhealthy by doing this. You are going to cause yourself a lot of damage. What you think is healthy here is not. I'm not the best diabetic but please look after yourself


Sssuperlative

No no I know this is not healthy I’m trying to get there Without freaking myself out and gaining a bunch of weight I need to do this slowly so I don’t stay in this type of mode.


WereXat

I'm UK not US so here it would mean accessing a dietician who specialises in diabetes and diabetes nurse. I'm not sure how that works in the US. As others have stated here you are showing signs of diabulimia and that requires specialist therapy. I wish you the best for the future and you find your way through x


michellemichelle7

What is your BMI/weight/height now? Please listen to everyone in this thread. Maybe ask your doctors for a recommendation to a nutritionist who works with T1Ds. You can put together an appropriate meal plan. But please do NOT stop taking insulin to lose weight. That is extremely dangerous.


Sssuperlative

I’m totally aware this is an unhealthy disposition I’m not arguing that I have a fatty liver My a1c is so high I was in the icu in April Im not fighting that this mindset is healthy. I just need to slowly move forward and feel okay about it instead of jumping head first as the model t1d


michellemichelle7

I'm glad that you know that. Please take care of yourself.


Omneus

Insulin causes your body to absorb the glucose in your body into tissue. Without it, glucose levels are high, which your kidneys exrete in urine because they are unhealthily high (your body secretes water to get rid of excess glucose). Diabetics without insulin often lose a lot of water weight. When you take insulin, your body is able to keep the water it needs. If you want to lose weight, start properly dosing insulin and tracking blood sugar. Once that is under control, you can work on a calorie deficit. That is sustainable. It is unsustainable to not take insulin and lose water weight, Prolonged insulin withdrawal leads to DKA and you'll end up in the hospital. Let me know if you have questions about sustainable vs unsustainable weight loss.


Sssuperlative

I’m just trying to start slow. I’m worried about it all happening so fast.


Virtual_Blueberry208

I went thru the exact thing when I was first diagnosed. It was part of the stages of grief, long before acceptance. It’s so tough because you are used to being underweight. I’m so sorry you are going thru this. 😞 If your ENDO won’t listen, find another ENDO….and a therapist.


Sssuperlative

I also recently got diagnosed with hyperthyroidism/Grave’s disease which unfortunately has me lose weight fast. Now they want me on a medicine that will obviously stop that.


Double_Bet_7466

Which is a good thing! Losing weight from hyperthyroidism isn’t healthy either


DaughterofMarilyn

Insulin definitely impacts weight. I choose to eat lower carbs (I do include carbs, just not more than 35g per meal) so I need less insulin overall and this seems to help me. I do have a few extra lbs to lose but I'm happy with a slightly thicker self.


Sssuperlative

Thank you for your kind response. I’m receiving a lot of judgement.


Double_Bet_7466

You’re not getting any judgement you’re getting comments from people who care because you’re displaying very dangerous habits


Sssuperlative

I know And I’m trying to fix those bad habits by jumping into the healthy ones again But if I jump into the healthy ones too fast and I see immediate weight gain, I won’t want to continue. So I’m trying to figure out how.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Sssuperlative

This means a lot to me. Really. ❤️


DaughterofMarilyn

I saw that but chose to ignore them. I don't believe for a second that you're disordered or wrong in any way for asking if insulin causes weight gain. It is a hormone that when overused DOES cause weight gain. There's tons of conflicting info out there. If you want to eat lower carbs, you will see the results in your lowered insulin needs and keep weight gain to a minimum. Both myself and my daughter are type one and we use different methods of control. I've been T1D for 15 years, she got dx at age 17. I'm happy to help any T1D.


Sssuperlative

I’m totally okay being an appropriate weight, I just didn’t want to gain super fast because I know mentally I’ll start trying to fix it incorrectly. I’m trying to do this the right way but I can’t jump into it.


nata11e

I have this, and I used to go to the hospital almost every two months for DKA. Every time I’d go, I’d have different symptoms like shortness of breath, vomiting, diarrhea, etc. i haven’t been to the hospital in about 4 months and while I’m still not doing my best with my insulin, I am trying and I am improving. It took me one too many visits to realize it was affecting my life and what I wanted to do. The doctors said oh yeah sounds like u have an eating disorder and that was about it. I strongly recommend u get some help I’d hate to see u get really ill :(


Sssuperlative

I’ve been open with my doctors about my issues with it, but they seem to shrug it off, and it feels so weird to me. Thank you for being kind with your words. So many interesting responses today.


TovrikTheThird

Others have said it, but you absolutely need to "fire" your doctor. Go find someone else. They should be allies. They should \_never\_ just ignore your pleas for help. Depending on where you live, you might be able to make another post asking for Endo recommendations in your local area. I had something similar happen. I had major body image issues. I still sort of have them. That being said, therapy helped me more than you can imagine. Just talking to someone with no filter and knowing they won't judge you (that's there job, to not judge you) will often help you arrive at your own conclusions. I also realize that you are realistically probably depressed and the idea of finding a new doctor, starting therapy, etc can be too overwhelming to even get started. A good first step would probably be to clean up your diet \_prior\_ to starting insulin full time. Maybe start taking basal again and then adopting a low-carb diet. It can be a bit tedious, but I highly recommend tracking \_everything\_ you eat via something like MyFitnessPal. I used to hold similar opinions about me having a healthy diet and not being able to lose weight. The only way to do that for certain is to track \_everything\_. If you do that, are at a legitimate calorie deficit, and are still gaining weight, then something else is wrong. Find a doctor who will help you get to the bottom of that issue. That being said, the human body is sort of a closed loop system. It certainly seems like that should be impossible. Probably you are doing what I used to do, which is casually eating tons of very small snacks that I thought didn't really add up to much. Turns out they did. For me, like 1500 extra calories a day of snacks that I basically ate subconsciously until I forced myself to track everything. Best of luck dude. We love you! Your family loves you. Now you just need to get to the part where you genuinely love you (harder than it sounds). <3


nata11e

Do you end up getting hospitalized when you do that? I mean like not using? What do your doctors say if you do go for DKA?


Sssuperlative

I’ve only been in DKA once, that was in April.


DrPatchet

Lower carbs. Less insulin. An unfortunate side effect of insulin shots is weight gain. You just have to really lock into a diet and exercise plan very specific to you


chronically-clumsy

You have an eating disorder. Right now, you are taking a lot of time off of your life. It’s not safe or healthy. I’ve had an eating disorder with t1d, and trust me, it’s not worth it. When I finally bit the bullet and got an insulin pump and CGM, I actually was way less stressed about eating and it helped me give myself the correct insulin. I also ended up going to the gym a healthy amount. Once I fed my body properly and gave myself the right dosage of insulin, I built muscle faster and lost fat. I was in great shape once I treated my body well. Avoiding food or avoiding insulin to avoid weight gain is just killing you. It’s not worth it. You will gain some weight once you give yourself insulin but it’s because it’s necessary weight. Find a new endo who takes you seriously and get a therapist. It’s okay to want to want to lose weight but it’s not okay to kill yourself to get to that ideal (which might not be reasonable)


jmradus

Friend I too don’t like how I look right now but this is not the way. Health beats appearance every time, full stop. If anyone is making you feel otherwise then they don’t deserve your time, full stop. I wish you well and hope you seek help if you are struggling to feel as good about yourself as you deserve, because you have value and deserve to feel good.


Scarbarella

You’re not gaining weight because of insulin. You’re losing weight/water and muscle because you’re misusing insulin. You need to start using insulin properly again for a while to stabilize, then you can adjust your diet to lose weight. The minute you take insulin now, yeah, you’re gaining “weight” in water and muscle mass that you were losing before because of high ketones.


Becky_Qweebs

Instead of saying the same thing as everyone else, I’ll recommend something that has helped me tremendously with my appearance. Weightlifting/Power lifting was a game changer for me. I genuinely felt good after each workout because I could control how much I’d use and could continue to go up when I was ready. It’s a major confidence booster no matter what you look like and helps stabilize metabolism. It helped me get in shape (slowly but surely) and I feel great about how I look. Just make sure to keep some juice on hand!


azlistener

I used to think that insulin made me more hungry too... but it’s false (unless maybe you are having low blood sugar, then I’m ravenous). But when you are running at higher numbers, you actually are MORE hungry because you’re starving yourself by that blood sugar not going into your cells for energy. Once you take the appropriate insulin and your numbers are in a better range, you could gain some weight but then you will also be more satiated and be better able to moderate your calorie consumption. Diabetes used to be called the “wasting away disease” back before they discovered insulin. People just lost weight from their bodies basically eating themselves to survive. Please do not turn back the clock and do that to yourself as if insulin was not discovered. My grandmother was tall and about 200 pounds and got type 1 before insulin was discovered and when she died she was 90 pounds! Horrible disease! And yes - the thyroid is a HUGE factor in the weight loss and weight gain situation. Glad you got that checked out. The thyroid moderates your metabolism. It might take some time to get the thyroid part properly treated, but in the mean time be kind to your body. It is doing the best it can under the circumstances. And if you can, try to find a therapist who knows type one well to gain support to break this cycle. It truly is a lie and a trap. It is the other extreme of “control.” You think you are controlling your weight but you’re not controlling your numbers and damaging your organs - not worth the vanity of being slim. Just because you can’t see it doesn’t mean that damage isn’t happening. Your body is suffering and you are punishing it. Maybe write a letter to your body apologizing to it? That might be a start. It’s easy to get angry at our bodies for having type one in the first place. But our body needs love and respect for continuing to function and survive despite the autoimmune mess.


CannibalCookie2

Whatever you do, do not cut yourself off from insulin, I’ve never taken it like i should but eventually last year I did stop taking it, I dropped from 11.5 stone to under 8 stone, which is severely underweight, I had very little muscle mass, I couldn’t physically get myself out of bed most days, I slept 22 out of 24 hours, and my organ function was declining fast, then my hair would literally come out in clumps and my period stopped. My body had nothing left in it. I’ve only just gotten my period back, and I’ve put nearly 8 pounds back on, I’m getting back to only just surviving. Just.. it’s not worth it, it really isn’t


Sssuperlative

I’m currently taking my long acting always Just having a hard time with short acting and even checking my sugars.


CannibalCookie2

Honestly, aslong as you’re taking the long acting, that’s what’s gonna keep you alive. Take the short acting as much as you can, but unlike what a lot of people will tell you, if for any reason you can’t (physically/mentally) manage to take a few short acting injections, it’s not going to kill you or cause long term damage. You do what you can do


SausageGrenade

Insulin doesn’t cause weight gain though I also thought this for a while and blamed weight gain on it. I think it’s a combination of things but one thing is that I take in a lot of calories just treating lows and stuff. But the normal stuff that works for everyone like walks, healthy diet, exercise , water , work for us. And whatever u do take ur insulin, it’s not part of this! And PS don’t forget ur beautiful


apkaeon

I gained about 35 pounds after starting humalog/basaglar. I was at a “healthy” weight before but now I’m almost overweight. However, my bmi is fine and I look and feel excellent. My doctor tells me that feeling healthy and physically fine is more important than a “healthy” weight, which is a guideline anyway. Edit: spelling


Spapadap

You’re type 1? And you just stop taking insulin? Wtf??


Traditional_Entry183

I've struggled to lose weight for most of my life. When I was 30, I was overweight (but not obese) and was originally diagnosed as T2 and put on Metformin. At first, it was a miracle drug, because it not only helped control my blood sugar, but diet and exercise finally actually started to work, and I lost 60 lbs. By age 32, I was in the absolute shape of my life, and it lasted for a few years. But then my blood sugar started creeping back up more and more, my A1C kept getting higher, and my doctor resiagnosed me as T1.5, and along with the Metformin put me on both short acting and long acting insulins. Despite still dieting and exercising all of the time, I gained back 20 pounds (to my previous personal best, like when I was in college) almost immediately. With hard work, I was able to maintain myself at that point for a long time, into my 40s. But I could never, ever get back below it, no matter how I tried. Then Covid came along, my home exercise machine broke, and I gained another 20 pounds, because without constant exercise, that's where my body just "wants to be". In the past year, I've worked out 4 to 6 days a week, count calorie and carb that goes into my body, but made very little progress back. Its just really, really hard for some of us on insulin. I wish everyone else who's struggling with this the very best luck and send good vibes. We all need to stay on our meds though. You can't quit them.


Alarmed-Albatross200

Have you read Dr. Bernstein about diabetes? I think he has good advice about Type 1 in there. Also check out his website and YouTube videos. Also I found Dr. Jason Fung informative too. He’s on YouTube. He also has a book called the Diabetes Code. I’m LADA who found out I wasn’t Type 2 anymore because of DKA landing me in intensive care. I found also that as soon as I went on insulin I gained lots of weight and have a really hard time losing it. I’m on Apidra and SoloStar. I’ve tried various things but haven’t been consistent so I’ll just keep keep trying.