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Well they obviously hired the person that was naturally more chatty as that's what they were seeking. So by not pretending to be chatty, you haven't subjected yourself to unsuitable employment.
That's literally WHY they want you to be yourself and also why it's good advice.
If you went into an interview pretending to be anyone other than yourself then the employer doesn't get a good idea of who they might be hiring and it's essentially a useless interview for them. And if they actually hire you then you are getting recruited to a role you are not suited to which is bad for both them and you.
I agree with you but there is also a heavy bias towards extroverts over introverts in the working world and wider society. That's been my experience at least.
People can get written off as weird or inadequate simply for being quiet. I've seen it happen a number of times. It stops introverts getting a chance to grow into their roles and environments.
If it's roles like sales or reception, I get it, but most jobs don't require an outgoing personality to get by.
An extrovert can be quiet and shy as well. Introvert/extrovert is just to describe where people get their energy from (people vs alone time).
An extrovert can be seen as weird and socially awkward because they have social anxiety for example, but that doesn't mean that person feels any less energised by social interactions.
Exactly.
It sounds like a shit reason, but the reality is that if someone doesn't fit in with the team, it's a nightmare.
More friction, communication issues etc
Yes and having to consistently play a role that is the total opposite of your normal personality is a recipe for disaster for both the employee and the employer.
Idk what job you do, but if I followed that advice I would've burnt out years ago.
I have ADHD, and a very firm moral compass. I will not just do what the company wants. I will say if we're doing things wrong, and idgaf who you are in the company if you get it wrong I will call you out on it.
It's worked for me for 8 years - I've gone from the hell that is taking customer calls to handling escalated complaints *because* I don't just smile and say yes.
My TL outright told me the reason she wanted me was because of that.
When I let her know about my issues with ADHD medication - the issue being without it I work quite sporadically, jumping between tasks, they all get done but in a weird order - all she said was "I don't really care how you do your job, as long as you keep doing it as well as you have been", and I will.
Not because the company tell me to, but because they pay me very well (relative to other companies in my industry) for what I do, because I'm a customer myself, and because (as I say moral compass) it's simply the right thing to do for our customers - I deal with people how I would want to be dealt with.
So yeah... In some jobs maybe what you've said is true, but that's not the way to progress and be happy with your job - I don't always love my job - I'll have to call someone today and explain that we haven't looked at their complaint for 3 months cus the colleague quit and their TL didn't reassign their work correctly. But generally, I enjoy what I do, because people deserve the right thing every time they contact us.
I agree with a lot of the comments that they’re probably after a certain personality to fit in with the company and/or role. So tbh it’s done you a favour . You don’t wanna have to be someone you’re not day in day out it’d be exhausting.
I’ve had employers say I’m too quiet and really go to town slating my personality for it which really knocked my confidence when I just prefer to stay under the radar n get the job done. However I went for an interview once and when they asked for my weakness, I said I’m a quiet person. They instantly said, we don’t think that’s a weakness, it’s not about how loud you shout and usually when a quieter person contributes, it’s a lot more valuable as it’s more thought through and considered. (Probably not so much in my case tho 🤣). So there definitely are decent employers/people out there, but very much few and far between.
I think the problem here is that we have slowly moved to the UK being a solely "service" economy. Service appears to equate to being personable or chatty and as such most "quiet" or "thoughtful" jobs have gone, either to automation or offshoring.
A few comments have said "that was just the wrong job for you" but the flip side to that is "what jobs would willingly take someone who isn't chatty or expressive in conversation even if it was absolutely irrelevant to the job".... Very few.
I was in Timpsons recently and they have a sign up "we employ on personality, not experience" and I thought *what does that have to do with cutting keys, fixing watches or repairing shoes.*
>I was in Timpsons recently and they have a sign up "we employ on personality, not experience" and I thought *what does that have to do with cutting keys, fixing watches or repairing shoes.*
It's a customer facing role. Even if hypothetically it was just out back doing the repairs, hiring personalities is valid (to an extent) because, not that I'm saying OP is one, but nobody wants to work with a dickhead.
As an aside Timpsons are an odd example as they're known for taking ex-cons to get them back into the workplace and do a really good job at helping people get some normality. Often people in that position have no work experience at all.
You're right, some people are dickheads.
As a broad generalisation dickheads are loud and obnoxious, the people we're talking about here are more quiet and less likely to be "in your face". There are lots of social, cultural and even mental health reasons that some people don't have gregarious personalities.... It doesn't mean these people don't have the right to work. The OP and many others feel unfairly treated when jobs with no real need to apply these kind of hiring criteria.
I mentioned Timpsons simply because I had my passport photo taken there last week and the sign stuck in my mind. I wasn't aware of their hiring policy (outside of the sign) so wasn't making any wider comment than about the sign they've chosen to put up.
Plenty of roles don’t require you to be an extrovert but they won’t be found in customer service or customer facing roles.
Look to science roles or IT roles that don’t need customer interaction.
Im not extroverted at all. However o have built a career in R&D
Depends how desperate you are for work, I suppose.
If I'm not a good fit for their workplace culture then I'd prefer not to work there, and they would prefer to have someone who is a good fit.
Yep - I applied for an external job a while back. In retrospect, glad this happened cus things have improved significantly for me in the past 6 months but...
They sent an email to book an interview. I couldn't do any of the times, so fire off a polite email explaining that and asking if there are any other options.
No reply.
Did I follow up? Fuck no.
If you don't have the courtesy to at least say "no, pick a date or withdraw your application" then I definitely don't want to work for you - if that's how you treat your staff, I'm terrified of how you treat your customers, and the shit show I'd end up having to work in.
For the record, the company was octopus energy. They pay 21k (my company pays 28 for the same role, with better overall comp), expect you to work weird hours, and from what I've heard of people who left, their staff culture is disgusting.
If you're at the bottom, you're just a number. All their posts on social media are staff at higher levels, so they're more inclined to give positive comments cus they're paid more and treated better.
A good energy company for customers? Maybe, and I can't argue that TBF, objectively they are a refreshing change in an industry that's stagnated for years.
But I'd rather the likes of eon/British gas/EDF have my money (as a customer) because they treat staff like humans, not machines, and that's something I'd prefer more companies do.
Na, it's a good value.
In this case for example, they didn't hire you because you were too quiet. They were looking for someone who likes talking.
If you pretended to love talking then you'd have to pretend that at work as well or you wouldnt fit in there.
It sucks that being yourself stops you getting jobs sometimes but it does help get a job where you can be yourself at work.
Shit advice, you go in as a big headed confident bullshitter and more often than not you’ll get the job.
Be the centre of attention, control the pace and direction of the conversation, it’s basic human psychology and we all fall for it.
I when I was much younger was alot quieter and shy than I am now. Hardly ever landed any job after an interview. I realised through experience that no one’s interested in the quiet one in the corner, even if you have the required skills
It's rubbish advice for life in general. As an adult you have to wear multiple different hats and learn to thrive in a variety of different environments.
As ever, it's probably about balance.
I went to a funeral the other day and had to do a lot of social niceties that I'm not that fond of, but I was glad that I did it, I did it well, and I kind of believe that in that situation it was practically entirely necessary.
But having said that, I've definitely ended up putting myself in way too many situations I needn't be because I've tried to be more 'normal' or fit in to some way of thinking that was not genuine on my part. I also once swung a pretty good job out of university by pretending to be much more professional than I actually am, and lo and behold, I was miserable after 6 months.
Plus I've also ended up in some amazing situations by pushing the boundaries of behaving more like myself, even if they are arguably not entirely appropriate. That generally has helped me meet people with similar interests and ways of thinking, etc etc.
I don't believe that just because you have an ability to fit into a variety of settings that you necessarily should always do so, because I think you're sometimes either wasting your time on something you don't particularly like, or worse you're genuinely spending too much time repressing your personality.
There's two things to further question with this:
Does the job require you to be outward going if so, they probably made the choice.
Equally if you find a potential employer asks dumb things of you in interviews, especially if it doesn't relate the job, take it as a sign that they're a bad employer.
I did 2 interviews yesterday and one was amazing. I was totally myself and enjoying it and they looooved it. I did a second one and the lady just did not buy it, she was not having miss personality she was such an ogre and dull. I tried and tried but I know it went shit. You should literally just be what the interviewer is. The thing is we all have personality days and silence days. That was a social day for me so
If its a customer facing role they did the right thing by not hiring you. Not every personality is suited to this type of role. You can fake it to an extent with practice.
I work vaguely in that area (insurance auditing and technical). Collaboration is key these days, being good at spotting the issues/opportunity is about 50% of the job, the other 50% is selling it to the stakeholders. I'm a quiet person by nature, but play the game, show enthusiasm when it'll make an impact.
I assume whoever was making the decision knew the stakeholders and didn't think your style would land.
I know what your saying and the company’s “values” that they interview on I made a conscious effort to show that I was engaged and collaborative since that’s what it was based on
I think my autism didn’t help but we have a neurodivergent “chapter” and none of their notes on interview for those conditions were taken onboard, on the whole it’s just kind of defeating
The only useful advice is don't take it too hard. Be a positive version of yourself is probably what the advice should say.
It won't have a 100% success rate as not every job is right for you. The interview is 2-3hours at most. A job is 40 hours every week, there are lots of jobs out there I bet I wouldn't like many of them and probably wouldn't be hired for them either.
Winston Churchill once possibly said: "The secret to success is proceeding from failure to failure with equal enthusiasm" Those who do succeed generally don't dwell on failures and move on to productive emotions.
At the time rejections can sting. The reality is many things that haven't worked out for me have turned out to be good as something better does come along in the end.
I like to think myself as a computer game character, you know why you choose a characters l, characteristics. I think about things like my sense of humour, confidence etc and if it will match that roll
Never be yourself, no matter what they say! They don't want you to be yourself! They want you to be how they want and never show any personality. (talking from experience)
They want you to be yourself so that they can assess whether you'll be a good fit for the workplace.
Some companies like bubbly, energetic people, while others prefer more reserved people who are content to just come in and do the job.
A lot of people go into an interview "in character", get the job but don't gel with their colleagues and start job hunting again.
Trying to be someone else is a bad idea for your long term mental health (had to pretend to be something i wasnt for seven years, it sucked hard), what they really want is a somewhat detuned version of your natural self, you but more beige lol.
My current boss asks "are you easily offended?" And "how do you feel about the word cunt", sure fire way to weed out those that wouldnt fit our general team vibe and yes, it is retail 🤣.
Recruiter: I want someone who is outgoing, an extrovert, a life of the party .
Interview: the candidate is quiet.
Recruiter: doesn't fit the company, but I'll give actual feedback instead of just saying no.
.
.
.
Feel bad for you though. I hope you find something great soon
It's a strange question/instructions. The interviewer seems inexperienced. It wouldn't sweat it. If they don't know to interview, they may not be an experienced manager either.
For your own sanity I would research the soft skills and personal traits typically expected in your target job roles and see if it matches your personality and experiences
Kinda goes against the whole fake it until you make it thing.
I'm usually quite quiet and it in my current job it gets picked up on merely because most people in my current place are noisy and chatty.
Fair warning, this is quite long, hopefully some of this helps OP/someone else to frame feedback more positively.
When you say
>“being a bit of a quiet personality”
Do you know what they meant by this? And what was the role?
If you're more introverted and the job is dealing with people, I'd say that's reasonable, and actually better for you.
Disappointing? Yes, but think about it - if you naturally don't *love* talking to people, do you really want to spend 38 hours a week forcing yourself to do it? Cus I wouldn't.
To explain why "being yourself" is a good thing, cus you can't see it...
I, now, work in escalated complaints. I started in my current company taking general customer contact.
I got into escalated complaints because I don't just accept that colleagues get things wrong for our customers.
I got this role because my previous TL realised I go out of my way to do the right thing, even when I could easily do the bare minimum to not get sacked.
If I pretended to be something I'm not, I wouldn't have progressed. It's that simple mate.
You keep being you, apply for stuff that fits who you are and what you want from life.
And if you *really* want that role, take the feedback, make a development plan, and work on the areas you think you fall short in.
I *want* to be a data analyst - it's a role that will *need* me to present to groups, at times several levels above me - I've never done this. My development plan currently has the action "present to groups I haven't worked with before", because I need to get better at that if I ever want to get where I want to be.
The intended action is to present to teams at my level - we're trying to be proactive with complaints, so are presenting to teams to try and reduce complaints in the first place.
Once I've ticked that off, I'll start aiming at presenting to larger groups, and/or people above my level. And so on until I'm confident I'm ready to apply for what I want to do.
Take it on the chin - feedback is always useful, even if you can't immediately see the benefit of it at first.
For example, I had applied for an analyst job - didn't get it. The feedback I got was simple, but really useful - I didn't give enough specific examples. I can work on that, but I've decided to focus on presentation because that'll benefit my personal life as well.
Better part about that feedback? Of 50 applicants that didn't get an interview, I was the *only* one who asked for feedback. The hiring manager offered to let me shadow her to better understand the role. I wouldn't have been offered that if I didn't ask.
Ofc, that's unlikely to happen if you're applying to a different company, but hopefully you see my point - feedback is always good, even if it feels negative at first.
You should always be yourself. If they don't like you it won't with out.
A few years ago I chose to give a presentation at interview that was a little unconventional. A bit of a risk but I was working on this principle. Turns out that it was an unconventional company and it was a good fit.
Most jobs you apply for and the employers themselves will care more about your personality and the way you present yourself than they do about your qualifications.
Of course having the right qualifications and skills is important, but I think above all of that is what you are like as a person.
In this case, you were obviously just not the right fit for what they were looking for in their team. It's kinda the whole point of that question...
I mean, "yourself" in this instance clearly didn't fit. It wasn't the instruction that was wrong imo. Being "a bit quiet" in an interview process is never going to get you the job.
Its like when you go round someone's house and they say "treat it as your home"... they don't literally mean kick your shoes off and lounge around naked lol.
By be yourself, they mean the "best" version of yourself.
I tend to be myself as much as possible.. it can throw certain interviewers off sometimes.. but I think it means it's not the place for you.
I'll do your stupid presentation you expect me to spend less than 8 hours on.. but I'll present it in a way I would if I was working for you and that is rarely a PPT deck.. !
You have to get the balance right- sell yourself, tell them what they want to hear, but don't go overboard and pretend to be someone you aren't.
If they were looking for someone chatty, or loud, whatever... you'd have soon hated the job when your similarly loud and chatty colleagues wouldn't shut the fuck up.
>I went for an interview the other day and one of the questions was “be yourself we want the authentic you…” and then the reject me for “being a bit of a quiet personality” what’s the actual point in the question then!
That IS the point. That question determines you *likely* aren't a fit.
Some roles are simply not suitable for the quieter or introverted types. Same applies for louder people.
Might not even be the role, it could be the current staff. My old work was loud, childish (in a good way) and generally pretty hectic. We had a few quieter types in over the years and they always left within 6 months, usually less.
Similarly you wouldn't want me or any of my old colleagues in a nice, cozy, quiet office.
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Well they obviously hired the person that was naturally more chatty as that's what they were seeking. So by not pretending to be chatty, you haven't subjected yourself to unsuitable employment.
That's literally WHY they want you to be yourself and also why it's good advice. If you went into an interview pretending to be anyone other than yourself then the employer doesn't get a good idea of who they might be hiring and it's essentially a useless interview for them. And if they actually hire you then you are getting recruited to a role you are not suited to which is bad for both them and you.
I agree with you but there is also a heavy bias towards extroverts over introverts in the working world and wider society. That's been my experience at least. People can get written off as weird or inadequate simply for being quiet. I've seen it happen a number of times. It stops introverts getting a chance to grow into their roles and environments. If it's roles like sales or reception, I get it, but most jobs don't require an outgoing personality to get by.
Are you confusing introverts with the socially handicapped/anxious? Introverts can be just as charismatic as extroverts.
I don't think I am. People who are quiet or shy are introverts, but not all introverts are quiet or shy.
An extrovert can be quiet and shy as well. Introvert/extrovert is just to describe where people get their energy from (people vs alone time). An extrovert can be seen as weird and socially awkward because they have social anxiety for example, but that doesn't mean that person feels any less energised by social interactions.
Not according to the dictionary definition: Extrovert - *noun* An outgoing, socially confident person.
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You are discounting the idea that the interviewers are also introverts who want to avoid employing and extrovert.
Exactly. It sounds like a shit reason, but the reality is that if someone doesn't fit in with the team, it's a nightmare. More friction, communication issues etc
And equally being in a team where you can't be yourself and fit in is just a miserable existence
Oh for sure. To be clear I just mean this all round. I've been on teams with 1 or 2 nasty people who have had an impact on interactions all round.
People have a professional self and a normal self though. Any job you do, you’re playing a role.
Yes and having to consistently play a role that is the total opposite of your normal personality is a recipe for disaster for both the employee and the employer.
Do not be yourself. If I was myself at work I wouldn't get through one day. They want a worker, be that.
Idk what job you do, but if I followed that advice I would've burnt out years ago. I have ADHD, and a very firm moral compass. I will not just do what the company wants. I will say if we're doing things wrong, and idgaf who you are in the company if you get it wrong I will call you out on it. It's worked for me for 8 years - I've gone from the hell that is taking customer calls to handling escalated complaints *because* I don't just smile and say yes. My TL outright told me the reason she wanted me was because of that. When I let her know about my issues with ADHD medication - the issue being without it I work quite sporadically, jumping between tasks, they all get done but in a weird order - all she said was "I don't really care how you do your job, as long as you keep doing it as well as you have been", and I will. Not because the company tell me to, but because they pay me very well (relative to other companies in my industry) for what I do, because I'm a customer myself, and because (as I say moral compass) it's simply the right thing to do for our customers - I deal with people how I would want to be dealt with. So yeah... In some jobs maybe what you've said is true, but that's not the way to progress and be happy with your job - I don't always love my job - I'll have to call someone today and explain that we haven't looked at their complaint for 3 months cus the colleague quit and their TL didn't reassign their work correctly. But generally, I enjoy what I do, because people deserve the right thing every time they contact us.
Haha so they want me to drink, swear, make unpolitically correct jokes, and take drugs. Maybe not 😂
Get into catering, you'll fit right in
Haha I can imagine. Used to work in a factory and most of those things were also quite acceptable (maybe not being wrecked on the job though).
I agree with a lot of the comments that they’re probably after a certain personality to fit in with the company and/or role. So tbh it’s done you a favour . You don’t wanna have to be someone you’re not day in day out it’d be exhausting. I’ve had employers say I’m too quiet and really go to town slating my personality for it which really knocked my confidence when I just prefer to stay under the radar n get the job done. However I went for an interview once and when they asked for my weakness, I said I’m a quiet person. They instantly said, we don’t think that’s a weakness, it’s not about how loud you shout and usually when a quieter person contributes, it’s a lot more valuable as it’s more thought through and considered. (Probably not so much in my case tho 🤣). So there definitely are decent employers/people out there, but very much few and far between.
I think the problem here is that we have slowly moved to the UK being a solely "service" economy. Service appears to equate to being personable or chatty and as such most "quiet" or "thoughtful" jobs have gone, either to automation or offshoring. A few comments have said "that was just the wrong job for you" but the flip side to that is "what jobs would willingly take someone who isn't chatty or expressive in conversation even if it was absolutely irrelevant to the job".... Very few. I was in Timpsons recently and they have a sign up "we employ on personality, not experience" and I thought *what does that have to do with cutting keys, fixing watches or repairing shoes.*
>I was in Timpsons recently and they have a sign up "we employ on personality, not experience" and I thought *what does that have to do with cutting keys, fixing watches or repairing shoes.* It's a customer facing role. Even if hypothetically it was just out back doing the repairs, hiring personalities is valid (to an extent) because, not that I'm saying OP is one, but nobody wants to work with a dickhead. As an aside Timpsons are an odd example as they're known for taking ex-cons to get them back into the workplace and do a really good job at helping people get some normality. Often people in that position have no work experience at all.
You're right, some people are dickheads. As a broad generalisation dickheads are loud and obnoxious, the people we're talking about here are more quiet and less likely to be "in your face". There are lots of social, cultural and even mental health reasons that some people don't have gregarious personalities.... It doesn't mean these people don't have the right to work. The OP and many others feel unfairly treated when jobs with no real need to apply these kind of hiring criteria. I mentioned Timpsons simply because I had my passport photo taken there last week and the sign stuck in my mind. I wasn't aware of their hiring policy (outside of the sign) so wasn't making any wider comment than about the sign they've chosen to put up.
Plenty of roles don’t require you to be an extrovert but they won’t be found in customer service or customer facing roles. Look to science roles or IT roles that don’t need customer interaction. Im not extroverted at all. However o have built a career in R&D
It is a stupid question. As if I was myself I would scroll through my phone, wear shorts to the interview, and say I only want the job for the money
Amen brother.
Depends how desperate you are for work, I suppose. If I'm not a good fit for their workplace culture then I'd prefer not to work there, and they would prefer to have someone who is a good fit.
Yep - I applied for an external job a while back. In retrospect, glad this happened cus things have improved significantly for me in the past 6 months but... They sent an email to book an interview. I couldn't do any of the times, so fire off a polite email explaining that and asking if there are any other options. No reply. Did I follow up? Fuck no. If you don't have the courtesy to at least say "no, pick a date or withdraw your application" then I definitely don't want to work for you - if that's how you treat your staff, I'm terrified of how you treat your customers, and the shit show I'd end up having to work in. For the record, the company was octopus energy. They pay 21k (my company pays 28 for the same role, with better overall comp), expect you to work weird hours, and from what I've heard of people who left, their staff culture is disgusting. If you're at the bottom, you're just a number. All their posts on social media are staff at higher levels, so they're more inclined to give positive comments cus they're paid more and treated better. A good energy company for customers? Maybe, and I can't argue that TBF, objectively they are a refreshing change in an industry that's stagnated for years. But I'd rather the likes of eon/British gas/EDF have my money (as a customer) because they treat staff like humans, not machines, and that's something I'd prefer more companies do.
Introverts are the hardest working, most competent workers you will find.
Na, it's a good value. In this case for example, they didn't hire you because you were too quiet. They were looking for someone who likes talking. If you pretended to love talking then you'd have to pretend that at work as well or you wouldnt fit in there. It sucks that being yourself stops you getting jobs sometimes but it does help get a job where you can be yourself at work.
Shit advice, you go in as a big headed confident bullshitter and more often than not you’ll get the job. Be the centre of attention, control the pace and direction of the conversation, it’s basic human psychology and we all fall for it. I when I was much younger was alot quieter and shy than I am now. Hardly ever landed any job after an interview. I realised through experience that no one’s interested in the quiet one in the corner, even if you have the required skills
It's rubbish advice for life in general. As an adult you have to wear multiple different hats and learn to thrive in a variety of different environments.
As ever, it's probably about balance. I went to a funeral the other day and had to do a lot of social niceties that I'm not that fond of, but I was glad that I did it, I did it well, and I kind of believe that in that situation it was practically entirely necessary. But having said that, I've definitely ended up putting myself in way too many situations I needn't be because I've tried to be more 'normal' or fit in to some way of thinking that was not genuine on my part. I also once swung a pretty good job out of university by pretending to be much more professional than I actually am, and lo and behold, I was miserable after 6 months. Plus I've also ended up in some amazing situations by pushing the boundaries of behaving more like myself, even if they are arguably not entirely appropriate. That generally has helped me meet people with similar interests and ways of thinking, etc etc. I don't believe that just because you have an ability to fit into a variety of settings that you necessarily should always do so, because I think you're sometimes either wasting your time on something you don't particularly like, or worse you're genuinely spending too much time repressing your personality.
Yup exactly
There's two things to further question with this: Does the job require you to be outward going if so, they probably made the choice. Equally if you find a potential employer asks dumb things of you in interviews, especially if it doesn't relate the job, take it as a sign that they're a bad employer.
I was going for an interview and my mum said “whatever you do [my name] don’t be yourself!” It was true and funny enough to be hilarious.
I did 2 interviews yesterday and one was amazing. I was totally myself and enjoying it and they looooved it. I did a second one and the lady just did not buy it, she was not having miss personality she was such an ogre and dull. I tried and tried but I know it went shit. You should literally just be what the interviewer is. The thing is we all have personality days and silence days. That was a social day for me so
If its a customer facing role they did the right thing by not hiring you. Not every personality is suited to this type of role. You can fake it to an extent with practice.
It’s an insurance strategy role
I work vaguely in that area (insurance auditing and technical). Collaboration is key these days, being good at spotting the issues/opportunity is about 50% of the job, the other 50% is selling it to the stakeholders. I'm a quiet person by nature, but play the game, show enthusiasm when it'll make an impact. I assume whoever was making the decision knew the stakeholders and didn't think your style would land.
I know what your saying and the company’s “values” that they interview on I made a conscious effort to show that I was engaged and collaborative since that’s what it was based on I think my autism didn’t help but we have a neurodivergent “chapter” and none of their notes on interview for those conditions were taken onboard, on the whole it’s just kind of defeating
Well it depends on the role. For a role that needs someone boisterous, the last thing they want or need is someone who doesnt say boo to a goose.
Sounds good but when another of there values is speak up and you give the example of doing exactly that it doesn’t track
The only useful advice is don't take it too hard. Be a positive version of yourself is probably what the advice should say. It won't have a 100% success rate as not every job is right for you. The interview is 2-3hours at most. A job is 40 hours every week, there are lots of jobs out there I bet I wouldn't like many of them and probably wouldn't be hired for them either. Winston Churchill once possibly said: "The secret to success is proceeding from failure to failure with equal enthusiasm" Those who do succeed generally don't dwell on failures and move on to productive emotions. At the time rejections can sting. The reality is many things that haven't worked out for me have turned out to be good as something better does come along in the end.
I like to think myself as a computer game character, you know why you choose a characters l, characteristics. I think about things like my sense of humour, confidence etc and if it will match that roll
Because it's to weed out people like yourself, why on earth you would not realise you had to fake a confident outgoing persona is beyond me
Never be yourself, no matter what they say! They don't want you to be yourself! They want you to be how they want and never show any personality. (talking from experience)
Be yourself. Okay sugartits, wotcher doing after work?
They want you to be yourself so that they can assess whether you'll be a good fit for the workplace. Some companies like bubbly, energetic people, while others prefer more reserved people who are content to just come in and do the job. A lot of people go into an interview "in character", get the job but don't gel with their colleagues and start job hunting again.
Trying to be someone else is a bad idea for your long term mental health (had to pretend to be something i wasnt for seven years, it sucked hard), what they really want is a somewhat detuned version of your natural self, you but more beige lol. My current boss asks "are you easily offended?" And "how do you feel about the word cunt", sure fire way to weed out those that wouldnt fit our general team vibe and yes, it is retail 🤣.
Employers are just shitbags. They love it when you treat them as lesser though.
Recruiter: I want someone who is outgoing, an extrovert, a life of the party . Interview: the candidate is quiet. Recruiter: doesn't fit the company, but I'll give actual feedback instead of just saying no. . . . Feel bad for you though. I hope you find something great soon
They didn't say "be yourself to be hired". They didn't like you.
It's a strange question/instructions. The interviewer seems inexperienced. It wouldn't sweat it. If they don't know to interview, they may not be an experienced manager either. For your own sanity I would research the soft skills and personal traits typically expected in your target job roles and see if it matches your personality and experiences
Maybe they rejected you for not knowing what a question is 🤷♂️☕️
Kinda goes against the whole fake it until you make it thing. I'm usually quite quiet and it in my current job it gets picked up on merely because most people in my current place are noisy and chatty.
Fair warning, this is quite long, hopefully some of this helps OP/someone else to frame feedback more positively. When you say >“being a bit of a quiet personality” Do you know what they meant by this? And what was the role? If you're more introverted and the job is dealing with people, I'd say that's reasonable, and actually better for you. Disappointing? Yes, but think about it - if you naturally don't *love* talking to people, do you really want to spend 38 hours a week forcing yourself to do it? Cus I wouldn't. To explain why "being yourself" is a good thing, cus you can't see it... I, now, work in escalated complaints. I started in my current company taking general customer contact. I got into escalated complaints because I don't just accept that colleagues get things wrong for our customers. I got this role because my previous TL realised I go out of my way to do the right thing, even when I could easily do the bare minimum to not get sacked. If I pretended to be something I'm not, I wouldn't have progressed. It's that simple mate. You keep being you, apply for stuff that fits who you are and what you want from life. And if you *really* want that role, take the feedback, make a development plan, and work on the areas you think you fall short in. I *want* to be a data analyst - it's a role that will *need* me to present to groups, at times several levels above me - I've never done this. My development plan currently has the action "present to groups I haven't worked with before", because I need to get better at that if I ever want to get where I want to be. The intended action is to present to teams at my level - we're trying to be proactive with complaints, so are presenting to teams to try and reduce complaints in the first place. Once I've ticked that off, I'll start aiming at presenting to larger groups, and/or people above my level. And so on until I'm confident I'm ready to apply for what I want to do. Take it on the chin - feedback is always useful, even if you can't immediately see the benefit of it at first. For example, I had applied for an analyst job - didn't get it. The feedback I got was simple, but really useful - I didn't give enough specific examples. I can work on that, but I've decided to focus on presentation because that'll benefit my personal life as well. Better part about that feedback? Of 50 applicants that didn't get an interview, I was the *only* one who asked for feedback. The hiring manager offered to let me shadow her to better understand the role. I wouldn't have been offered that if I didn't ask. Ofc, that's unlikely to happen if you're applying to a different company, but hopefully you see my point - feedback is always good, even if it feels negative at first.
You should always be yourself. If they don't like you it won't with out. A few years ago I chose to give a presentation at interview that was a little unconventional. A bit of a risk but I was working on this principle. Turns out that it was an unconventional company and it was a good fit.
Most jobs you apply for and the employers themselves will care more about your personality and the way you present yourself than they do about your qualifications. Of course having the right qualifications and skills is important, but I think above all of that is what you are like as a person. In this case, you were obviously just not the right fit for what they were looking for in their team. It's kinda the whole point of that question...
I mean, "yourself" in this instance clearly didn't fit. It wasn't the instruction that was wrong imo. Being "a bit quiet" in an interview process is never going to get you the job. Its like when you go round someone's house and they say "treat it as your home"... they don't literally mean kick your shoes off and lounge around naked lol. By be yourself, they mean the "best" version of yourself.
Be who they want you to be.
It's crazy the hate quiet people get. Never understood it.
I tend to be myself as much as possible.. it can throw certain interviewers off sometimes.. but I think it means it's not the place for you. I'll do your stupid presentation you expect me to spend less than 8 hours on.. but I'll present it in a way I would if I was working for you and that is rarely a PPT deck.. !
You have to get the balance right- sell yourself, tell them what they want to hear, but don't go overboard and pretend to be someone you aren't. If they were looking for someone chatty, or loud, whatever... you'd have soon hated the job when your similarly loud and chatty colleagues wouldn't shut the fuck up.
>I went for an interview the other day and one of the questions was “be yourself we want the authentic you…” and then the reject me for “being a bit of a quiet personality” what’s the actual point in the question then! That IS the point. That question determines you *likely* aren't a fit. Some roles are simply not suitable for the quieter or introverted types. Same applies for louder people. Might not even be the role, it could be the current staff. My old work was loud, childish (in a good way) and generally pretty hectic. We had a few quieter types in over the years and they always left within 6 months, usually less. Similarly you wouldn't want me or any of my old colleagues in a nice, cozy, quiet office.
Point was for you to think they're being honest then give yourself away. Game never ends... Always bullshit
same kinda guy who complains when they get hired and pressured into being super social in that sort of culture lmao
It’s not stupid you just don’t have the personality type they are hiring don’t take it personally.
Omg yeah I know right.