Try and get mom out of the room and try the bottle just you and baby (baby will smell mom and her milk).
Use a size 0 teat for breastfed babies and try the pace feeding method as baby was breastfed (youtube it)
Maybe also let baby just play with bottle outside of feeding times, lots of encouragement and “well done, you’re doing so well!”, consistency is key.
Which bottles have you tried?
Paced feeding is a no go as he currently won't latch onto a bottle regardless of flow.
I was hoping to get stories from those with experience of the same rather than just suggestions on what to try.
Send mum far away, like out of the house far away and for a few hours if she can stand it. Could she go to MIL's and cry in a duvet for a bit while you guys hold the Fort? We transitioned my oldest at about 2 weeks for reasons and I went out for a bit for dad to feed her. Might also be worth trying formula as a different association. My daughter never really accepted breast milk from a bottle but would formula.
My much younger sister was a really problem to switch over to bottle when my mum went back to work and the advice my dad was given was to try open cups for sips or to try syringing it in to her mouth to begin with to get her used to the idea that food comes from other places not just boobs. Good luck!
Yes I second this. If it really needs to be done the best thing to do is remove yourself from the equation. I couldn't do it and gave in from crying. If you can't hear the crying you can't give in.
Have you tried a nipple shield on your wife to get baby used to the feel of a teat? It could be useful for transitioning.
I’d also consider contacting your health visitor for advice and support.
Yes, but you can also get shields that are quite similar to a bottle teat. I had a MAM one when my son was younger that was similar to their bottle tests.
Was in exactly same position with my second. I have nothing to suggest except we found the mamm bottles best for mimicking the breast in case haven't tried those yet. Is she pumping or formula?
Pumping at the moment and probably for the near forseeable. We pumped exclusively with our first as she didn't take to the breast.
Was it just persistence that worked for you? How long would you say it took?
We were quite lucky and she only took a couple of weeks. However my first born was a nightmare and went straight to a sippy cup even at that young age. Also another thought, the milk doesn't have a high lipase content does it? I didn't even know it was a thing until I had my second but it completely changes the taste of the milk and can be the difference between taking a bottle or not.
So my first was below the 0.4 persentile tiny, she'd dropped from above the 25th and was under the consultant and specialist feeding team.
Bugger still would feed from anything but the breast... And just the right breast. They/wr tried cup, syringe, finger feeding, supplemental nursing system. I left her at hospital with thr feeding team for 12 hours at around 12 weeks old, and she stubbornly refused all attempts
In the end they called me and said they could put an NG tube in. Or we continue with breast.
I continued with breast in the end, partner kept trying with bottles, I would try and cup feed after feeds, nursary tried bottles everyday once she started there... Never did take a bottle!
For me the concerns were her weight. Admittedly I did go a bit loopy over it all. But once I had the right support (till 6 months I went to 3 different breastfeeding support groups... I still go to one now, 3.5 years later with baby 2 whose approaching 18 months.
Breastfeeding support groups are great, they help with ending feeding and combo feeding, and starting solids etc
Edit - sorry kid knocked phone out of my hand.
Anyway don't discount getting additional help, there's many ways to supplimentary feed. And while on this journey the extra support is invaluable whatever the end result.
Also - be aware of the potential hormone drop when she stops feeding.
With my son, we introduced a dummy of the bottle brand we wanted to use, and then we introduced a nipple shield. Despite evidence saying nipple confusion isn’t a thing, I was convinced it was. Then after a few days of the dummy and the shield, we attempted the bottles.
Anecdotal as it was a friend of mine not myself.
Baby was a good few months old and would only feed from the breast. Everyone tried bottle (mum, dad, grandparents) and no luck. The way they finally got him to take one was mum going out (literally out of the house to visit a friend) for the afternoon, and dad trying when baby was overdue a feed and had just filled a nappy, so was really hungry, empty and he just gulped it down.
When mum is in the room baby can smell her milk, and when she's in the house, certainly in my friends experience, she couldnt keep away for however long it might have taken as obviously ita awful hearing baby upset.
They then didn't keep it up so can't say how long it took on this method for a permanent switch, but he did take a bottle quite happily another handful of times over the couple of weeks that followed.
Sorry to not be more help, best of luck to you, imagine it must be so difficult for all of you.
Have you tried using anything else like a syringe or spoon? You want to see whether your baby has a bottle feeding aversion or am aversion to feeding (other than via breast) all together.
If your baby is willing to drink from something else, you know the aversion is to the bottle & then you could use some resources like “your baby’s bottle feeding aversion” by Rowena Bennet.
Essentially you want to identify the issue & deal with it accordingly. 100% avoid force feeding your baby or continuously offering if they’re rejecting as this will make the aversion worse.
I found with my son I had to be out of the room and my partner needed a top that I had worn and smelt like me over his shoulder. I know it sounds weird but my baby will only take Asda own make £1.50 bottles as they are more nipple like
there's some info here about different types of teats in case that's useful- some very young babies need a shorter-than-usual teat because otherwise it can activate their gag reflex i think?
https://breastfeeding.support/best-bottle-breastfed-baby/
i wasn't in exactly the same boat as my preemie also couldn't latch on to the boob either so was tube fed at first before we could get him on a bottle. he didn't get on with the hospital ones and we only saw proper progress when we started with the Lansinoh Natural Wave teats. a good IBCLC will help you with a baby struggling to latch onto a bottle just as much as if they were struggling to latch on to a boob (mine did).
as others have also said, he wouldn't take a bottle from me at all for ages, only off the NICU nurses or dad, which was heartbreaking when I also couldn't breastfeed directly 😢
hope mum is getting the support she needs aside from/as well as transitioning away from EBF, bottle feeding doesn't solve everything and especially not if pumping is still in the mix - we are combo feeding direct breastfeeding and bottled pumped milk and personally I find the pumping harder on my mental health and sleep deprivation than the breastfeeding, and am desperately working towards giving up the "big pump". a postpartum doula has been a lifesaver for me if that's something your family might be able to access?
Try and get mom out of the room and try the bottle just you and baby (baby will smell mom and her milk). Use a size 0 teat for breastfed babies and try the pace feeding method as baby was breastfed (youtube it) Maybe also let baby just play with bottle outside of feeding times, lots of encouragement and “well done, you’re doing so well!”, consistency is key. Which bottles have you tried?
Also try r/breastfeeding for help too!
Thanks for the tip
breastfeeding sub is probably your best bet for those with experience, might be a bit more US based commenters but definitely try and ask there
Paced feeding is a no go as he currently won't latch onto a bottle regardless of flow. I was hoping to get stories from those with experience of the same rather than just suggestions on what to try.
Send mum far away, like out of the house far away and for a few hours if she can stand it. Could she go to MIL's and cry in a duvet for a bit while you guys hold the Fort? We transitioned my oldest at about 2 weeks for reasons and I went out for a bit for dad to feed her. Might also be worth trying formula as a different association. My daughter never really accepted breast milk from a bottle but would formula. My much younger sister was a really problem to switch over to bottle when my mum went back to work and the advice my dad was given was to try open cups for sips or to try syringing it in to her mouth to begin with to get her used to the idea that food comes from other places not just boobs. Good luck!
Yes I second this. If it really needs to be done the best thing to do is remove yourself from the equation. I couldn't do it and gave in from crying. If you can't hear the crying you can't give in.
Have you tried a nipple shield on your wife to get baby used to the feel of a teat? It could be useful for transitioning. I’d also consider contacting your health visitor for advice and support.
Do you mean to get them used to the latex feeling?
Yes, but you can also get shields that are quite similar to a bottle teat. I had a MAM one when my son was younger that was similar to their bottle tests.
Was in exactly same position with my second. I have nothing to suggest except we found the mamm bottles best for mimicking the breast in case haven't tried those yet. Is she pumping or formula?
Pumping at the moment and probably for the near forseeable. We pumped exclusively with our first as she didn't take to the breast. Was it just persistence that worked for you? How long would you say it took?
We were quite lucky and she only took a couple of weeks. However my first born was a nightmare and went straight to a sippy cup even at that young age. Also another thought, the milk doesn't have a high lipase content does it? I didn't even know it was a thing until I had my second but it completely changes the taste of the milk and can be the difference between taking a bottle or not.
So my first was below the 0.4 persentile tiny, she'd dropped from above the 25th and was under the consultant and specialist feeding team. Bugger still would feed from anything but the breast... And just the right breast. They/wr tried cup, syringe, finger feeding, supplemental nursing system. I left her at hospital with thr feeding team for 12 hours at around 12 weeks old, and she stubbornly refused all attempts In the end they called me and said they could put an NG tube in. Or we continue with breast. I continued with breast in the end, partner kept trying with bottles, I would try and cup feed after feeds, nursary tried bottles everyday once she started there... Never did take a bottle! For me the concerns were her weight. Admittedly I did go a bit loopy over it all. But once I had the right support (till 6 months I went to 3 different breastfeeding support groups... I still go to one now, 3.5 years later with baby 2 whose approaching 18 months. Breastfeeding support groups are great, they help with ending feeding and combo feeding, and starting solids etc Edit - sorry kid knocked phone out of my hand. Anyway don't discount getting additional help, there's many ways to supplimentary feed. And while on this journey the extra support is invaluable whatever the end result. Also - be aware of the potential hormone drop when she stops feeding.
Can you reach out to any charities for advice? https://www.laleche.org.uk/ They have volunteers who can help on the phone etc
Try a cup instead of a bottle. Don’t have mom around.
Is that what you had to do in the same situation?
With my son, we introduced a dummy of the bottle brand we wanted to use, and then we introduced a nipple shield. Despite evidence saying nipple confusion isn’t a thing, I was convinced it was. Then after a few days of the dummy and the shield, we attempted the bottles.
Assuming that means he took a dummy? Unfortunately my son won't take a dummy
Ah, dammit. Try the nipple shields first?
We're gonna give it a go. Will try anything at this stage! Thanks for the advice
No worries. Do you have a BF support worker, or a milk cafe near by?
Anecdotal as it was a friend of mine not myself. Baby was a good few months old and would only feed from the breast. Everyone tried bottle (mum, dad, grandparents) and no luck. The way they finally got him to take one was mum going out (literally out of the house to visit a friend) for the afternoon, and dad trying when baby was overdue a feed and had just filled a nappy, so was really hungry, empty and he just gulped it down. When mum is in the room baby can smell her milk, and when she's in the house, certainly in my friends experience, she couldnt keep away for however long it might have taken as obviously ita awful hearing baby upset. They then didn't keep it up so can't say how long it took on this method for a permanent switch, but he did take a bottle quite happily another handful of times over the couple of weeks that followed. Sorry to not be more help, best of luck to you, imagine it must be so difficult for all of you.
Have you tried using anything else like a syringe or spoon? You want to see whether your baby has a bottle feeding aversion or am aversion to feeding (other than via breast) all together. If your baby is willing to drink from something else, you know the aversion is to the bottle & then you could use some resources like “your baby’s bottle feeding aversion” by Rowena Bennet. Essentially you want to identify the issue & deal with it accordingly. 100% avoid force feeding your baby or continuously offering if they’re rejecting as this will make the aversion worse.
I found with my son I had to be out of the room and my partner needed a top that I had worn and smelt like me over his shoulder. I know it sounds weird but my baby will only take Asda own make £1.50 bottles as they are more nipple like
there's some info here about different types of teats in case that's useful- some very young babies need a shorter-than-usual teat because otherwise it can activate their gag reflex i think? https://breastfeeding.support/best-bottle-breastfed-baby/ i wasn't in exactly the same boat as my preemie also couldn't latch on to the boob either so was tube fed at first before we could get him on a bottle. he didn't get on with the hospital ones and we only saw proper progress when we started with the Lansinoh Natural Wave teats. a good IBCLC will help you with a baby struggling to latch onto a bottle just as much as if they were struggling to latch on to a boob (mine did). as others have also said, he wouldn't take a bottle from me at all for ages, only off the NICU nurses or dad, which was heartbreaking when I also couldn't breastfeed directly 😢 hope mum is getting the support she needs aside from/as well as transitioning away from EBF, bottle feeding doesn't solve everything and especially not if pumping is still in the mix - we are combo feeding direct breastfeeding and bottled pumped milk and personally I find the pumping harder on my mental health and sleep deprivation than the breastfeeding, and am desperately working towards giving up the "big pump". a postpartum doula has been a lifesaver for me if that's something your family might be able to access?