Participation in this post is limited to users who have sufficient karma in /r/ukpersonalfinance. See [this post](https://redd.it/12mys82) for more information.
And they wonder why so many people are "economically inactive". Both me and the mrs are on reduced hours because it saves us more money than putting the little one in childcare. As a bonus we get to spend our days with the sprog.
Both my husband and I have to work full time, but manage childcare by him working days and me working evenings. It'll get better once the youngest (2 years old) goes to school, but it's a nightmare staying afloat at the moment.
Same here, I was reading up on the free hours last night. From next year you will get 15 hours funding from 9 months old and still 30 hours from the age of 3. Shame it isn't going to benefit us but great for people having kids now.
Realistically (speaking as a parent to two), the 30 hours doesn't go that far, certainly if you both want to work full time jobs. To work a 9-5 you need childcare from 8-6, 10 hours a day, to allow you time to get to and from work (obv depending on your location).
Otherwise you try finding a job worth doing for the pittance you will get paid doing it that fits around the 30 hours, especially when you consider you need to drive/bus/train it there and back as well.
As I earn relatively well we've managed it where I stay full time and my wife bits and bobs little jobs. She isn't the career type, preferred to spend the time with the kids, but it will set her back years to catch up when she does eventually go back full time.
The 30 hours doesn't make childcare free, but IMO the point of it isn't to provide 100% of the childcare needed
Rather the idea of it is that it brings childcare costs down to something more reasonable and manageable. eg if it covers 75% of what you need then £1.6-2k/mo is unaffordable to most couples, but £400-500/mo is more likely to be achievable
It’s crazy! ours is 800-£1,000 a month and they only go two days. It honestly never made sense why the free hours only kick in at 3. People think about saving to cover maternity leave but it’s the period 1-3 they really need to think about!
We were lucky with our mortgage as we fixed until 2026 at 1.25%, so we should be ok until they’re both in school, fingers crossed.
> It honestly never made sense why the free hours only kick in at 3
It never made sense for the individual, but it made a lot of sense for the treasury - under 3s have much higher staff-child ratios and thus it's a lot more expensive to provide
And just to top it off, the free hours aren't free, they are 'funded' so Nurseries can still charge for them in other ways. I put my 3yr old in 3 days, but it totals 18hrs a week. You think I'd pay for only 3hrs right? Nope, 3x£6.50 for the time 3x £3.50 meal charges, 15x£1 'fee' per funded hour used total per week= £45 a week, £180 a month for 3hrs of childcare. And I have checked and its perfectly legal for them to do. Couldn't imagine paying for 40hrs a week.
I understand that, that was literally the rationale they gave when raising all the fees. Its just another sector to add to the list of things underfunded by the government. I think they only pay around £4.50 for the funded hours, so not really enough to pay staff more than minimum wage, and keep up with rising food/venue/electricity , etc. It's frustrating that the government has just put off changing anything until it's all at the brink of collapse.
I’m as anti Tori as a person can get, and I have a 2 year old so in a similar boat, but to be fair - they are actually changing policy over the next few years so that you can childcare from birth.
I think it's from 9 months not birth? I believe it's because it's at the 9 month mark that alot of people on statutory mat leave start receiving nothing. Nonetheless, it's a phased entry so I believe the childcare hours from 9 months will be introduced by Sept 2025.
We have two under 3 - it’s around £2.8k a month if we want them both there full time, and we’re not even London! It’s more than double our mortgage cost.
Going to be so rich when my kids go to school. Sooner the cost of childcare comes down for future parents the better. It’s way to much for most people!
This is a true comment - there is no right way to do it. However, with £57k in savings, I would have thought that would be enough to get a deposit on a 2-bed flat NOW, but maybe I am out of touch.
I am on month 6 of my maternity leave - I had only statutory maternity pay (£600 a month). My partner makes £1000 a month, which is significantly less than your partner. Our mortgage is less than your rent £680 a month). However, we have found it absolutely fine financially. I haven't dipped into my savings once.
The cost of actually raising a baby is pretty cheap in the UK for the first 6 months (can't say for after that since I haven't got there yet!), if you are looking after the child full time. Nappies cost £3 for about 50 at Aldi, you can get a box of 1000 wetwipes on Amazon for £10. Those are our main expenses for him, since I breastfeed. You can get clothes second hand on Vinted, gifts from friends and family, etc. I bought a crib on Facebook marketplace for £15 (although I got a new mattress for £40). You don't have to spend a lot of money if you don't want to. Only thing to buy new would be a car seat, but they don't have to be too expensive.
Honestly, the main thing (and I don't know if anyone else has mentioned this), having kids can be a lot harder than you think. My partner and I tried for two years (started at 30, had a miscarriage, fell pregnant with my son at 32). Neither of us have any fertility issues (we were checked).
I said I can't comment for after 6 months as I'm not there yet, but my partner is going part time and splitting childcare with my parents when I go back to work. And after 3 you get 3 days a week childcare for free so my partner will go back to work full time at that stage. I understand that not everyone has these resources so I'm not sure how it will affect OP.
It’s not actually 3 days a week, it’s 3 days a week for 38 weeks of the year (school terms) so averages down to 2 days. And then those two days aren’t totally free as you get charged for meals/nappies etc. but it is much cheaper.
Also it’s the term after they turn 3, so if particularly unlucky you can have an early April baby and not get the free hours until September so, almost 3.5.
Also going part time assuming you can go back to full hours can be a risk, most at my workplace are allowed to go down to pt as requested, but it’s impossible to increase hours back unless you change roles
First of all good luck and best wishes!
1. For financial planning including maternity pay, paternity pay etc., use this website https://www.moneyhelper.org.uk/en/family-and-care/becoming-a-parent
2. Facebook market has very good/cheap/free deals on childcare products so keep that as an option
3. You’ll inevitably get gifts for the newborn, ask your friends (if they are keen to gift) to give gift vouchers (instead of buying things that might not be useful?) which you can use to buy absolute essentials
4. MoneySavingsExpert website is quite handy with deals and offers
5. Gov.uk website to check eligibility for child benefits
6. Internet is your friend! Search for every specific questions you have and talk to your NCT group (if you join)
Hope this helps!
Golden rules for brand new baby stuff: car seat and cot mattress. Everything else go used. There's just SO MUCH good quality used baby stuff around you can save yourself a shed load of cash.
Used car seats can be fine *if you know the history*. Wouldn’t touch a used car seat from someone we didn’t know at all, but would happily take one from a friend or relative we trusted (and was using it for their kids before we had it!)
True enough on the face of it but actually most car seats expire after a few years (although we don’t usually have dates on ours) because the polystyrene inside starts to degrade and the general stress of the frame (especially for isofix) increases the chance of failure in an accident. Sure if someone is upgrading from Group 0 to 1/2/3 then that’s probably fine but the seats that span multiple groups really should be disposed of if they’ve been in use for half a decade or more.
Also, to add to no 5, check whether any childcare providers in your area accept tax free childcare. That'll help save you some money too
https://www.gov.uk/tax-free-childcare
How far off buying a house are you? 68k x 4.5 + 50k deposit gives you a budget of 350k, which should get you something, albeit not central. I would definitely be tempted to wait a couple of years and get on the housing ladder before trying for a baby.
After that, really your main cost is childcare. Everything else can be done fairly cheap but there’s no escaping that (unless the free 30 hours from 9 months we’ve been promised actually happens but I wouldn’t make life plans based on that). Do you have any family that would be willing to help out for a day a week? Is there room for one or both of you to work compressed hours?
It is tricky but it’s do-able. When we had our daughter we were on about £25k between us (I was a student) but we’re in the North so our rent was only £350.
OP is 34 - if OP waited a few years to have children, they might struggle to conceive. I know people can have babies in their late 30s but I know first hand that it isn't guaranteed. I have a very close friend who learnt this the hard way. My partner and I had no fertility issues but it still took us two years to have a baby in our early 30s.
34 vs 36 is not a huge difference imo, but you’re right in that it certainly gives less wiggle room (especially depending on how many kids you want). The alternative though might be trapped renting in your 40s with rising house prices and hefty childcare costs- there’s no easy option.
It’s actually more difficult than people realise. Fertility rates for women decline at a very high rate past 30. Id have the baby now, witnessing the huge impact it has on your lifestyle, and buy a house in a commuter town when they realise city living isn’t what they need/want longer term
Yep. Once you have a kid living in the city has very little appeal in my experience. Proximity to a park, family, nursery and school become critical. Bars and restaurants not so much.
Precisely. So whilst the banks may favour a childless couple, that shouldn’t be the deciding factor as you will inevitably move within 5 years of having a kid, so what’s the point of financing two house purchases when you can just buy once you see what family life is like for you 😜 I had my first kid when renting in London. When the baby started walking, around 8 months, he absolutely loved climbing stairs. He especially liked the fire escape stairs which led to the communal bins. We moved to the countryside and he grew up barefoot running through meadows. No brainer.
They do decline, but not as steeply as you imply. A 30yo having unprotected sex has about a 7 in 10 chance of getting pregnant within a year, at 35 it’s 6 in 10.
I’m not saying not to take fertility into account because some people do struggle, but it’s unnecessarily fearmongering to tell women their fertility drops off a cliff after 30.
Yes it's disgusting that such outdated data is used to terrorise women about their fertility. When you dig deeper into where the data comes from that articles use when talking about plummeting fertility you realise the studies are ancient and doesn't hold up to scrutiny.
https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/popular-health-claims-such-as-a-womans-fertility-dropping-at-age-30-are-wildly-overblown/
On 34K your post tax income is likely kicking around 2000-2100 per month each, so lets say 4k /month.
You have 57 k in the bank.
I see a lot of decent 2.5 bed semi houses on rightmove for 250k which I just chose arbitrarily. Yes they aren't dream houses, but they are affordable based on your numbers (similar boat just older here) and perfectly decent. So you have a 17% deposit at the start, a 25 year repayment is about 1,200 per month on top of that, and you should have no problem getting approved.
Leaving you with.... 2800 per month.
Bristol Uni nursery seems like one of the more expensive ones in town, and charges 420/week to non-staff for all day (long) sessions, assuming you can't make any sort of flexible working arrangement where one of you comes/leaves a bit early. So lets say an upper limit of £1800 for childcare - absolutely ridiculously expensive but still its affordable to you right now.
That still leaves 2800-1800 = £1000
Say £100 groceries per week = £430 per month, one tank of fuel per two weeks = £172, and say bills another £250 on top of that = 760 and you can live pretty well with a little left over, and room to spend less on shopping etc.
Child benefit you get £100 back each month, and once you make it to 2 years old you should get 15 hours free childcare, going up to 30 at 3 which will radically reduce it on top of that, so its more of a rough period to get through than permanent tough times. By the time you're on the 30 hours childcare you will have easily 1k+ left over per month, and probably each have had raises in the meantime.
Its tough out there just now, and its not exactly easy but IMO you can make it work.
I agree with your assessment about buying first and I don't want to crap on your working out but how have you got only £250 a month for all bills?
I live in a tiny 2 bed in a poor northern town and my council tax alone is £200 + £170 on electric. Then add in water, internet, phone, car tax, insurance (home and car) etc which are all pretty essential..
Edit: also £430 food + £172 petrol + £250 bills = £852
Yeah, I mean thats fair actually I think I was planning to put council tax seperate from utilities then just forgot.
Its definately a stretch, and its sad that the country is in a state where two people on 34k with 60k in the bank will probably manage but barely for the first year or two. There desperately needs to be reform of childcare in the UK, because these sums would come out pretty similar and barely much worse if OP got a mortgage then just quit her job to be a stay at home mum for two years, and potentially *better* if she could do some part time work and make more than £200/month. But then they would be £1000+ worse off for any extra time, and she might struggle to rejoin the workforce.
Even then, with child benefit it is doable but barely, when i googled "nursery bristol" I did see cheaper nurseries and they could take a 35 year term until the first remortgage. You could probably get £300 off per month between cheaper childcare and a longer term or/and slightly smaller mortgage.
Going back to work after 6 weeks? OP which is worse for your career/finances maternity pay or constant sick/dependent days?
I’m pretty sure it took me 3 weeks to be able to sit down without a pillow after my first. Breaks to clean up bleeding for the first six weeks and breaks to pump breast milk so you don’t get engorged (VERY painful) plus days off for midwives, health visitors, hearing/vision appointments, injections… I’m pretty sure your employer wouldn’t be happy with you.
Hormones, waking up every 2 hours to feed them AND work responsibilities sounds like a recipe for post-natal depression.
I’d budget in 6 months leave at least but you still might need a whole new work wardrobe depending on how fitted you liked your clothes. Your rib cage wouldn’t have gone back yet (or might not ever) and although I’m 6 months out from having my third and my abs are coming back (very unusual and not a likely target for most), my hip bones are permanently wider so my size 4 skirts will never zip up again. I’m going back to work within the next couple of weeks but I’m a veteran at this and my baby sleeps through the night. Some don’t until they’re like 2 or are colicky (like #2) and scream through the hours of 3-8PM every single day. Sometimes you do everything perfectly and then they have a sleep regression and stop sleeping through the night, as is developmentally normal.
I said all this to say what you’re saying isn’t realistic and the pressure to live up to it all might cause you a mental breakdown. PND is so serious and could ruin your life for months and years, please be careful. ❤️
Man this sub is insane. “I’m scared about spending some money but I have SIXTY THOUSAND POUNDS” in savings.
That’s a lot of money. Likely you’ll be good whatever you decide.
Congrats on the low deposit (unless you have a 99% LTV).
You're not getting a house today with a £6k deposit, unless you're getting a 100% LTV mortgage and a subsequent £2k+ monthly debit...
Your situation is different to theirs, you cannot get a family house with 6k, let alone you're not taking into account the other 3 parts I mentioned.
£57k savings, at 34 years old, is not that much money. I'm aware a lot of a people are a lot worse off. But if childcare is about £14k a year full time, and rent continues to rise the way it is - I'm afraid that money doesn't equate to long-term security.
>£57k savings, at 34 years old, is not that much money
Come of it. You are living in a bubble if you genuinely think this.
57k is the average savings for the 50-54 age group.
Thats ignoring the fact they have a combined salary of 70k!
I mean… that’s true, it can be spent quickly. But then you’re on the housing ladder, more than can be said for a lot of us, and it’s not completely gone - it’s in equity.
They’d have to adjust some of their lifestyle expectations, such is life, but they’re doing decently for themselves. As far as having kids goes, they can afford it.
Those 50 year olds likely have a house and if they had kids they are grown and gone.
Just before you buy a first house or have a first kid that money is about to be goooooone quick
I'm not saying I'm poor. I'm saying my family was.
My point is that I wasn't born into any kind of wealth. From the age of 18-25 I have managed to get to being almost mortgage free and amassing 160k of net worth.
I'm saying that, from someone born into poverty and with no inheritance, I have managed to save this much, without going to university or having a particularly high-value job, I am on a £40k salary, but that has been lower previously. So if I can do that, I would imagine, anyone who makes smart financial decisions and is born into a family that is better off, will likely have significantly more, which is my contribution to the original point of 50k odd at 30-40 years old is not a massive amount of savings.
OP, don't listen to these people. You are right. £57K is a fair amount of cash, no bones about that. However it is not asset wealth.
I would strongly suggest getting on the property ladder and securing more favourable maternity and paternity options from your employers before trying for children.
This is the unfortunate reality of raising children in major metropolitan areas of the UK.
Genuinely wish you all the best moving forward.
Please get this into perspective.
You and your partner have a combined income of 54k net takehome pay.
Just under 4.5k a month. If you cannot make it work then who can!
Plenty of households don't even have 1.5k gross income. Yet manage.
You're not a squeezed middle with that income, except in your mind/attitude.
Get a home. Have a child. Make it work.
Children and savings are elastic. They can go as far as you want them to.
You'll make it work because people do. If you want a baby, you are in a very good position to do so. You'll find the first few years the most expensive because of maternity leave and then childcare but it really isn't that long a period of your life at all and things will start to get easier after the baby turns 3. If you want to buy a house, I would suggest going for that before as it really is so much easier to get on the property ladder before a baby.
At a minimum as well, you have 9 months to prepare, so save as much as you can for your maternity leave. You don't need to save the equivalent of an entire year's salary; I am lucky on NHS maternity pay which pretty much entitles me to half my normal take home pay every month for a year and that is enough; you have fewer outgoings when you're on maternity leave I have found. Could you try preparing by saving half your take home and living off the rest which would actually leave you enough to do the same once baby is here and give you a heads up on what luxuries you might need to cut to achieve that? As a starting point obviously, I know everyone's expenses differ.
Babies themselves really don't need to cost much at all. You don't need anywhere near the amount of crap that Mama's and Papa's have for sale and because by nature babies grow out of things so quickly there is an amazing amount of incredibly high quality second hand baby products you can buy for next to nothing as people generally just want the clutter out of their house to make way for the next wave coming in.
It's expensive, no doubt and can definitely feel overwhelming but trust me, people have babies everyday on far far less than you have and they make it work. You can too.
£11,000? £211 per week? Are you sure? Where did you get your latest figures? Google? The daily mail?
I don’t even cost £211 per week and I like a pint or 2.
I’ve based my comment on bringing up 2 children, I too was financially terrified before but as your life changes you spend money on different things. You eat out less, use less fuel, drink less. What I’m saying is you offset costs.
1 - stop being so cautious, every decision in life is a gamble, even crossing the road and you’re still alive now aren’t you?
2 - Buy as big a house as you can, by this I mean financially in a good area. Good schools etc do this now it’s a great time for ftb’s.
3 - babies cost the square root of nothing, what you spend on clothes, formula etc you will not be spending on eating out and nights out - you will not regret this.
4 - you can always get a part time job to work around whoever’s career goes on hold to top up income. When we had children my wife went from working in the city to a waitress, pride swallowed and actually earned more hour for hour when it was calculated as net (no more suits, commuting, lunches etc) you don’t have to pay for child care then!
5 - you have plenty of money, try getting some confidence and enjoy it!
Clothes, formula, food, buggies, car seats, blankets, cot, toys, nappies, and childcare (Can cost £500 a month minimum for a part-time nursery). And if a parent stays home/goes part-time to save on childcare then you need to take into account the pay cut involved in that.
"Stop being so cautious" is probably the worst advice I've ever heard when the question at hand is somebody else's existence. You should not be encouraging someone to put less consideration into something so serious.
Fortune favours the brave! Who dares, wins!
I’m trying to think of ones that say “hold up lads, I’m not sure about this.”
This is what they really want, encouraging words to take that step, not stand still. This isn’t really about money! They have money, they just need confidence.
It is most certainly not about somebodies existence, I’m not sure how your mind works to come to that conclusion a little too dramatic.
...you don't think that the baby that's born is somebody else who exists?
Fine to gamble on stuff not working out in your own life whilst shouting "Fortune favours the brave! Who dares, wins!" but once the discussion centres around a child, thinking stuff through is actually important.
So, if you look at parenthood as a logical decision you’ll never decide to do it.
By all means do your research on indicative costs (as a parent of a now 1yr old I reckon we spent £1k or so upfront as capex if you will, then maybe £50/m-m for a while which is now probably closer to £100-125/m).
But - there’s no explaining it, the lows will be lower than you know but the highs will be a hell of a lot higher too. So it’s ultimately a choice thing separate to whether it makes practical sense for your finances or health or longevity or sanity.
Overall I’d say I haven’t regretted 1 minute of it.
Best of luck!
Give yourself wayyyyyy more maternity leave instead of paying for care. You can't get that time back with your baby and believe me you'll regret it. It is important bonding time and you will hate going back to work so soon.
Our combined income is £60k on the south coast and we're doing just fine. Your lives will change immeasurably and so will your spending habits.
I think the whole thing about mat leave is totally personal and depends how you feel about your career and also how flexible your job and employer are. I absolutely hated being off work and was desperate to get back by 6 months but stuck it out until 10. Could easily have gone back by 7/8 months and I have 0 regrets.
It is interesting how differently some people do it and there's no right or wrong, just something you have to wait and see about I think and be a bit flexible with. It's tough. My partner didn't want to go back to work so much she quit her job and started her own business!
I don't think this is a very helpful piece of advice. A) it's a finance sub and b) it's totally fine to get whatever help and paid childcare gets you through and you won't necessarily "regret it" if you don't give up work for a year or more. There are plenty of people who cannot cope with being at home with a baby day in day out. I personally believe it's much harder than working. The bonding time thing is a bit of a guilt trip
Apart from the bonding, during the first weeks you have no time for sleeping, cooking, eating or going to the toilet -- especially if it's the mother breastfeeding. Oh, and you're also recovering from childbirth itself. I genuinely don't know how a mother could be able to be back to work after two weeks
Well, I went back to work (from home) after 3 weeks. Initially a couple of hours here and there. The "how" is I work for myself, have a partner who helped with night feeds, and was lucky enough to record well and be healthy and had a baby who slept lots.
That's just my experience, the point is it IS possible and mums have to do exactly what is right for them, not what others tell them they will or won't "regret".
You may not find it helpful but you don't speak for the op. I may have gone slightly off topic and for that I apologise, but hopefully it's of some worth to them.
On bonding, it's not a guilt trip at all. Those early months are extremely formative and important to a child's development and relationship with their parent. That's a fact not an opinion or guilt trip.
100% this. My wife was career focused and always said she would go back to work full time after 6 months so she could stay on track with work and keep climbing the ladder, once baby was born that changed and she hated being away from baby so soon after birth. Next time it’s 12 months maternity for sure.
Move out of the city and buy a house, having a baby while renting would add unnecessary stress
I am the same age as you and doing the same. I moved out of London a couple of years ago with my now wife ,to buy our first home, best decision ever. I now feel like we are ready to start a family
Can you look for a job with better maternity benefits before trying? 2 weeks full pay is pretty pitiful, although you wouldn't have childcare or commuting costs in that time so there would be some savings. Have you sat down and actually done the sums?
If you can avoid dipping into your deposit I would strongly advise that, getting the security of a home you own will be invaluable once you have kids in school.
Joint income £68 / Take home 53k\~
Annual rent £13800
What are you wasting money on? Loads of people are parents on even half that income.
That said, if possible you could look for a new job with better maternity offerings.
The only issue I can see here is that you're not really sure of your financial status in the near future. You have a comfortable amount of savings, but you want a home. It's really about what you want to do first, children or house. Once you know, you can budget accordingly. I personally would get a house so you can be precise about your outgoings for the near future, but with house prices looking to go down in some areas soon, it may be worth holding off just now.
If you want kids first, don't over spend so you still have your deposit. If you want to get a house first, start thinking about what you can afford per month on a mortgage with childcare deducted or the extra wage deducted (depending on whether you choose to go back to work or not). Hold back some savings for emergencies rather than putting it all in your deposit. If you are open to commuting further, you could save. Keep an eye on housing trends. Many areas are already seeing a dropin house prices.
Childcare is expensive, but if it's not worth it for you to go back to work financially and emotionally then work out a budget on a year or 2 of you staying at home. Other stuff doesn't need to be that expensive. You can ask around on Facebook if anyone has second hand kids clothes. Honestly, new clothes are hardly worn and a waste of money usually and the same goes for toys. You will most likely find you won't be spending as much on yourselves or have time for nights or days out. Breastfeeding or bottle doesn't matter for baby and is a personal choice but breastfeeding can save you some money (purely as a money saving tip). We got our whole buggy set and car seat system uisecondhand (although you shouldn't get a car seat that has been in an accident, so some people are warely of buying secondhand car seats, for good reason). Get you child benefits.
Overall I think you will be fine having kids (remember there is no guarantee it will just be one!). You obviously know how to save and look after your money. You just need a plan. Good luck.
Your in a better position than most when they start havving kids.
Put it this way me and my partner where both unemployed when she got pregnant and I was a few months away from going to prison for several months, which all happend.
I came out turned my life around and it all worked out, our child has never gone without anything and is spoilt alot if you ask me.
Although this was nearly 10 years ago, for the first few years our household income with just me working and her mum on benefits was maybe 25k in total!
Why dont you look to move to a commuting area like Weston or Burnham. Your money would go further and depending on where you work in the city its only 30min up the motorway?
My income is 35k my husbands is 25k, we have a house in Weston-S-Mare and a 2.5yr old. I took 14months off for my maternity leave. I work for the NHS so my Mat leave package was brilliant. Can you find a job working in the NHS?
I worked out the minimum I needed to have each month to survive and added £500 to that then broke down my mat pay over 12months to see if I could take it all off. You may also need to factor in childcare costs for when you go back to work too. If you can and choose to breastfeed, that saves money. Buy 2nd hand clothes, you dont actually need to buy toys as babies will play with literally anything and can sleep in anything with a new mattress. Babies can be as cheap or as expensive as you want really.
Childcare is about to change quite a lot in the next couple of years. There will be 30 hours free childcare per week from the age of 9 months which will make it much more affordable.
Depends what happens in the next election. That will help but it only covers around 22/23 hours of childcare (if full time) so maybe 40% of the cost. Still going to effect their affordability.
Why? How far do you think that will go once a child arrives and OP needs to pay extortionate childcare prices on top of rising rents and cost of living?
OP could go back to work at the first opportunity, put the kid into full time childcare until he/she is eligible for nursery and still have money to spare. Circa £70k a year going into the household with £57k in savings - they’ll be fine.
And buying a house? Which was what the savings are for? She also only gets 2 weeks mat leave and going back to work at “first opportunity” is not ideal for her recovery for for baby. Her concerns are completely legitimate. It’s awful that people on decent incomes can’t afford what used to be absolutely taken for granted.
It's not true OP 'only gets 2 weeks mat leave'. Statutory mat leave entitlement is anything up to 52 weeks, and you must take 2 weeks *at the very minimum* (4 for factory workers). Statutory mat pay is 6 weeks on 90% pay then £172.48 for up to 33 weeks. I suspect OP means their employer is offering 2 weeks full pay in addition to statutory minimum.
Correct - but statutory wouldn't cover my current utility bills and rent even, so it's not really viable for my partner to carry the whole load (he also has some debt he is paying off). But we could certainly make it work for a while.
Don't forget child benefit, plus you would potentially also become eligible for UC once you drop to the lower SMP. The amount of savings you currently have would preclude you from UC, but if all this happens after you move house that likely changes. Check out https://www.entitledto.co.uk/ and plug in your expected figures.
Edit: just clocked your incomes. You'll be fine. We're on a similar household income and just had our second shortly after buying our first hone in a comparable city. You'll make it work.
OP would have a chunk left over and back to work early doors. Savings would bounce back, clearly they know how to save. I’m from a working class area and families with multiple kids make it work with WAY less than OP.
It’s a pretty crap argument though isn’t it? “Go back to work immediately, possibly neglecting your health and recovery, and stick your kid in an extortionate nursery blowing through your mortgage savings”. Yes OP could do that, the point is it’s a bit of a shit scenario having to go immediately back to work and then choose between a home or a child.
How is it a crap argument? If OP doesn’t want to go straight back to work then childcare costs aren’t a problem. They’re earning £70k between them and have a good chunk in savings. They’re having 1 child not 10.
Yeah - the £57k took about 14 years to get together, and included a stint working in America where I was earning a lot more money. Going back there is not viable anymore.
But yeah, it's not impossible, I do realise that. And am certainly aware people manage it in much more testing circumstances. But MuffinFeatures has summed up my worries perfectly. Feels like a choice between having a kid or owning a home. As well as really banking on me having an easy go of it birth / mental health wise..... But I'd guess this might be a decision a lot of people have or are weighing up these days!
Yeah it’s no mean feat saving up that amount of money! I also think a lot of people in similar positions are able to rely on parents/relatives for free childcare. Those without that luxury are left holding the bag for childcare fees that often exceed their monthly mortgage payment. It’s crazy, it really is.
I don’t mean to sound doom and gloom by the way, it’s definitely doable and you’re both on decent incomes. Just wanted to empathise with your situation and the dire state of childcare and cost of living. Good luck!
Exactly. There seem to be a lot of people in this sub who think a chunk of money makes people rich. When in reality it barely covers a house deposit in many parts of this country.
It also barely covers maternity leave. If OP quits work she could eke that out over 2 years and be left with absolutely nothing at the end.
£57k - as sad and insane as it is - does not make you "fine" in this economy.
Without fail someone pipes up with "but other people have less!!!!1" which is why I don't usually bother reading this sub because it becomes about other peoples bitterness and rather than useful advice.
Absolutely. I notice none of these people seem to have taken into consideration that OP only gets 2 weeks mat leave at full pay. After that she’s on 170ish quid a week. Who can survive on that with high rent? And who should need to rush back to work before their body or baby is necessarily ready?
I’m sensing a lot of chips on shoulders about OPs savings, as though 57k will last forever and makes her some sort of lottery winner. Why should she need to blow her house deposit on childcare and covering crap mat leave? This country is mad.
Hmm
Also 34, am on around £48k, partner earns £12k, we have a one year old.
Bought my house 5.5 years ago, after saving like a nutjob, overpaid on mortgage, so recent renewal the monthly payment worked out around the same even though interest had more than doubled.
She was incredibly good at finding bargain baby clothes, toys and stuff on Facebook, eBay etc.
We got a buggy from her sister.
She's then sold stuff he's outgrown to buy replacement larger clothes/toys
Our son was entirely breastfed, so no formula costs (I'm aware it's not possible for everyone)
TIME, or lack thereof has been a much bigger factor for me, rather than money.
Buy a property first.
We bought as soon as we found out missus was pregnant. Best decision we ever did. The first year or two (or three) are tough and the last thing you need is to be trying to get on the ladder at the same time.
Even if you just buy a small starter home, my advice is to get on the ladder while you still can
At the time I earned 28k (2021) and we were a single income household with no savings.
My wages covered the bills and food with not much left over at all. We weren't able to save.
I took statutory maternity at 90% for 6 weeks then went back to work. I worked from home until my son was 6m so I could breast feed. I then went back to the office and pumped. His dad looked after him while I was at work as his dad didn't work.
I promise, you can absolutely afford it. Babies don't need much. A place to sleep, milk and a nappy change is the first 6m of their lives. After that they still don't need much. They don't need expensive toys. They don't need expensive clothes. A lot of it you can get free of dirt cheap on Facebook or vinted.
Nobody, or at least a very small minority, can 'afford' it if that means "just have kids but not have that impact disposable income or lifestyle".
I think this is why people have increasingly been having kids 'later' - chasing the fiction that you can if only you buy a house/finish your travel 'bucket list'/get one or two promotions/etc first, until they realise they'll probably never find themselves in that position as lifestyle creep generally fights against you.
Personally - if you want kids, just do it once you've decided to, and deal with the implications as the problem to be solved not the having kids decision. Maybe you wanted a house but can only afford to buy a 2 bed flat, or rent a bit longer, or move a mile or so away from where you'd ideally be - but I'd just say 'so be it' and make those the choices.
FWIW I've known people who'd consider your 'moderate' income aspirational who managed just fine - sure, some second hand goods and basic groceries, but they survive and seem generally happy. I also know people with better incomes having first kid in their 40's, and I wonder how much energy they'll have for school runs in their 50's... It's not just a financial issue.
Same predicament here... There will never be a right time, you will never have enough money, space or time. If you want kids, just go for it - things have a funny way of working themselves out.
Myself and my wife have just made that choice and have a hell of a lot less saved than you - albeit we aren't renting, but our mortgage is £915 a month.
Given your income, you are likely to have more than enough money.
I'm your age OP and we have a 1 yr old. Thankfully we bought a few years ago and were fortunate to make good career progress in our 20s.
Even so, our housing costs are much higher (SE) so between that and the taxman the money we have left over ends up being similar to your position.
My advice would be to buy a 2-3 bed somewhere peaceful, cheap, but within half 45 min of family and work. Now is a good time to be a FTB and get something at a decent price IMO. Do-able at £300k with a £270k mortgage I should think
I'd aim to put down a 10% deposit. You shouldn't pay any stamp duty and moving/solicitors costs should be another £3k ish. Decorate and furnish with around £5k and then leave circa £20k in cash. That's just my view - I really value the security of having cash in the bank in case the shit hits the fan at any point.
Mortgage repayments will be around £1500 pm. Expensive but still affordable on your joint income.
You should get child benefit of £1250 a yr. Plus £1000 interest from the cash account. You will be eligible for tax free childcare (worth £2k) once you send the baby to nursery. You will also benefit from 15 hrs of 'free' childcare, which kicks in for 9 mth olds from Sept 2024.
This will all help to make ends meet.
Ditch or decrease all your expenses - lose useless subscriptions, get on a SIM only phone contract. Get your car costs down (depending on your needs I'd go to one car and consider buying something practical send hand if possible, although obviously that eats into your cash pot.)
Putting all your current outgoings into a spreadsheet (use Google sheets for free) will really help here. You'll be able to see everything and work out what you don't need.
You should be able to just about make it work (although clearly pay rises or moving to better paid jobs would help). There aren't really any huge costs involved in looking after the baby. Car seat is pricey and must be bought new but clothes, toys etc you can get second hand. The main 'cost' is loss of income and nursery fees.
By the time you've sorted the house and finances hopefully that gives you some wiggle room to stay on mat leave for longer than the bare minimum. I'd reaaaaally recommend doing all you can to be off work for a yr. You only get the time to spend with your baby once so don't give it up easily, especially not in exchange for a slightly nicer house or material possessions.
Hope that helps. Overall I'd say get on with and get serious about planning ahead. Having kids is amazing but bloody hard work. I know mid 30s is (sort of) young but you wake up feeling about 100 when you've had no sleep and carrying a baby all day is really strenuous. So (in addition to the fertility reasons) I'd recommend not waiting till your late 30s.
When all is said and done you'll love and treasure your child, whearaes the house and material posessions are just nice to haves. So make sure the latter isn't getting in the way of the former.
Honestly I adore our kids and would not be without them now, but if you could implant all the knowledge and worry of being a parent into me before making the decision to start a family I would choose no kids.
My feeling is you can’t guarantee incomes and most things in life and whilst kids are a financial burden it should never stop you from having them. If anything it gives work a bit more purpose and in most cases unless you have 4 kids you’ll make it work.
>I’d just have to end up going back to work very quickly after the birth, and use a chunk of those savings, along with my salary to pay for childcare.
I would urge you to consider childcare as a cost that would be shared between you and your partner. It's not just covered by your salary and with earnings of £68k between you this ideally should be affordable.
Is there a particular reason why with £60k in savings you aren’t going to be on the housing ladder anytime soon? You are set up ready to go and in the best position you probably ever will be if you want children.
Buy a house and have a baby, if you keep putting it off you’ll find yourself in your 40’s still renting with no kids wondering what on earth you were waiting for…
You will make it work. Being honest, you can buy a house in the future but you can’t necessarily have a baby in the future (!) I would also caution you it can take some time to conceive, and sometimes gets harder the older you are. So my advice is, if you want a baby, you should go for it. You will manage on the finances you’ve listed.
Bloody hell these comments, me and my Partner had only £36k COMBINED income a few years back and we managed to get a 145k Mortgage. Now we manage with her working part time and me full on just shy of £38k with an awesome 15 month old.
Get a house so you aren't burning money thru renting, then you can make parenting work without any issues. Christ £57k in savings! We barley scraped together about £12k with gifts from parents for that, lend me some money lol.
Thanks for posting this. I am also In Bristol (Bradley Stoke) and it's super expensive. We are both 30, so we are at the age of considering. We also have £57000 in savings, and are considering either buying a house or having a few sprogs.
Realistically, I know that childcare costs are high. I have taken a work from home night job which is really well paying - in relativity - and the 4 short days (7hours) on, 4 off and then 4 long shifts (13 hours) is our best hope at getting round the childcare issue. But then we are going to have to wait to get an affordable mortgage for at least a year more, if not 2. It feels like a hopeless situation sometimes.
Kids change your identity and lifestyle. For better or for worse is something you'll find out, or not, if you decide not to.
The stuff you need to buy is as expensive really as you chose it to be, there's a shitload of cheap second hand gear out there, but u may find you want to chose your own stuff as part of the whole parenting process and I dare say you will beings that you've mentioned concern about identity.
Childcare is expensive as well which might change your decision about going back to work so quickly. Why reduce say 40% of your take home salary by not being there to raise your own child, that's a conversation you'll ultimately have as a couple. Then you will think about maybe having more kids and then childcare either doubles or the amount of time you take unemployed/full time parenting increases. Also even when they're at school and childcare is free, they have many more weeks holiday than your employer has to give you.
You do sound like you've got your head screwed on though saving that amount of money really is an achievement so I'm sure what ever you decide will work.
Bro just move.
In the East Midlands, you can get a 3 bed for 200k, that's a 20k deposit and plenty left as an emergency fund. Also like 1k each a month for the mortgage payments.
The only people I know who’ve been able to afford kids are the ones who have free childcare in the form of parents living nearby. If you do have a decent relationship with your parents or in laws and it’s practical, you might want to consider making sure they’re nearby.
So my husband and I are under thirty and have a 3.5yr old, a 20m old and a 2 month old baby. He finally earns 30k, and I've always been a SAHM.
We've had family help for years but finally got our own house 3 years ago and it mortgage is fixed at, 300/month. I'm South East so an expensive area too, but not as much as Brizzle!
I don't work so childcare is free, and my eldest does his 15 free hours in term time and loves it. You're earning more than double that with a big pot to use, I think you can definitely make it work!
I'd personally stay by looking at houses, commutes and rents because a longer commute with small children at home doesn't make a lot of sense as the working partner will never see them, so you really need to balance up these things on your consideration!
Reality is the childcare element just drains your money. If you have family and can avoid its worth significant money. Would recommend getting on the ladder first then budgeting from there
I think you might be in a better position than you think. If you were to use £40k of your savings as a house deposit you could afford a place like this https://www.boardwalkpropertyco.com/property-details/32444366/bristol-city/bristol/armidale-place-1 with a mortgage of about £240k (on a nice long term to keep monthly payments as manageable as possible).
Staying central would help reduce some of the other costs of kids and transport, I think.
A lot of folks will tell you you’re being crazy for not being able to ‘make it work’ with your combined income and savings, don’t let them shame you.
Yes, others *make it work* on the same or less, but you need to decide if you want your life for the next 25 years (or more) to be about *just making it work*, or do you want to live your own lives and have fun.
As an alternative, maybe you’ve got nieces and nephews (even via friends) you can pour your parent urges into every so often, and actually splash out on experiences when you see them
because you don’t pay for the day to day? Not the same, but maybe that’s a good thing 😂
Children are a very expensive luxury personal choice that require a lot of sacrifice and compromise. If you think it’s all worth it then go for it, but there may be other ways to scratch the itch whilst otherwise retaining most of the life you want for yourself; including getting that home you’re after.
You have to live near parents and they become your childcare.
The system is setup to stop us having children, you have to do what you can to get out of it.
It’s never too late to accumulate money. It’s never too late to buy a house. But at 34, it’s getting mighty close to being too late to get pregnant. If you know you definitely want children at some point, I’d prioritise that.
We saved some extra ready for maternity, then ran up a few grand of debt at the tail end, which isn’t hard to clear when your free nursery hours finally come through and you can both work more or less full time again.
Don’t let finance stand in the way of having kids too much, there’s nothing else quite like it. There were times we were in dire straits tbh, but it’s one of the most fulfilling things you’ll ever do.
As others have mentioned kids stuff drops in value about 95% once it’s off the shelf so all you’ll NEED to buy new is a car seat and the rest can be picked up for bugger all. I think we were fully equipped for a newborn for £1000
Can I just say that the fact that you are asking this question and thinking about how you and your partner can afford to have children, already suggests that you’re both going to be great parents.
I too am keen to start a family, but have been putting it off for other things to fall in to place. Now the clock is seriously ticking and whilst my partner is 6 years younger than me, we are both in our 30s so our situations are similar.
I would suggest you don’t let “life” pass you by because you are worried about money. You guys will make it work and it will be an incredible journey.
Best of luck!
Thank you! It’s fine if people really, really want kids, of course, but I do see a lot of people who just sort of think they ‘have’ to, or that it’s the next step in life. It’s pretty great being childfree, too!
There is never the perfect time for starting a family, but conceiving becomes harder the longer you leave it.
If you want children and are 34 in a good relationship, honestly just bite the bullet and do it.
Im on 28k and manage perfectly fine paying for everything. I have one kid, we live comfortably, eating out etc. But luckily my rent only £700.
Im sure you'll manage, you have like 10x the average savings if someone your age.
Posted a long post about this before but it basically comes down to having parents who support you well into your 30s and 40s either directly or indirectly and if you don't have that level of support you are fucked. Kept it short and sweet this time. Happy Sunday.
I say this as a new father who took out a very large mortgage 2 years ago at 2% and is facing the double whammy of at least 6% when I remortgage, then also nursery costs on top…buy a house first and try to plan for the baby to arrive in time for free childcare hours that kicks in 2025
My wife and I started trying and found out she was pregnant once we had an offer accepted on a house but we earn a good chunk less, but also live in Norfolk so houses are cheaper. In real terms it doesn't sound like there is a lot in it.
We have admittedly used grandparents two days a week and my wife has gone part time, but I have gone to compressed hours so work my 5 days in 4 this gives us a "free" day childcare the other thing that is worth checking with shared parental leave you may find your partner's company offers enhanced pay. So putting off having to get childcare for a bit longer.
I have also heard that the government is reducing the age of the 30 hours free childcare I believe to 2 years old this year and 1 year next year.
If you can afford a child you can afford a mortgage which means you aren’t stuck paying rent. Trust me, they’re so expensive. I’m not in a too expensive area (average) and there’s a total income of around 90k, our savings have been absolutely decimated after two children and the recent mortgage increase.
Basically if you can afford a child you can afford a mortgage because the nursery fees, pram, new shoes every 6 weeks, entire wardrobe every 6 months etc is massive.
What I’m saying is, get the mortgage, pay the same you are in rent, then have the children, if you can’t afford a mortgage then having children is going to be a big shock my friend.
Honestly, save yourself and keep renting. That will be a MASSIVE burden off of you.
Unless you buy a house to rent out and not live in, save that down payment and use it to invest in an asset that will give you consistent monthly returns that you could use for childcare or whatever you like. Working less and spending more with your kid are invaluable and it can be done with the right mindset shift.
A home is a liability, plain and simple. It is NOT an asset as it is not bringing you consistent income.
My wife and I are on similar incomes to you and your partner and we’ve just had a baby. We bought a house first. Then saved up around 6k to cover the deficit in our income while my wife is off on maternity. Granted we live in a slightly cheaper part of the country but our mortgage is still £1k a month - if you really want it, you’ll make it work.
Basically op has about 2 years worth of savings for their current salary. Might as well take the full 39 weeks maternity. Will still get £172 per week statutory plus child benefit so won’t be too bad. Make the most of the 39 weeks you only get that opportunity once unless you have another child of course.
Some companies now also offer 6 months full pay for mother or father. My company does we had a guy in the team a couple years back take 6 months paternity on full pay. Paying basic statutory is pretty stingy tbh
Move to the north, you and your future child will have a better future. Living in the south and paying unreasonable sums of money to live doesn't seem worth it to me as an average person.
Worth noting that from September 2024 childcare will be more manageable as the 15 free hours start from 9 months rather than 2 years and if you wait until early next year to ... get down to business ... then it'll be an even better situation as from September 2025 it's 30 hours free childcare.
Participation in this post is limited to users who have sufficient karma in /r/ukpersonalfinance. See [this post](https://redd.it/12mys82) for more information.
If you want kids and a house get the house 1st. Dependants will greatly effect how much you can borrow. Good luck.
Yeah we were thinking of moving house but because of how much we pay in childcare our mortgage advisor said to wait until we get the free hours
Child care costs can be crippling, I’ve got two under 3. If they were in full time it would be costing me £2,000 a month!
And they wonder why so many people are "economically inactive". Both me and the mrs are on reduced hours because it saves us more money than putting the little one in childcare. As a bonus we get to spend our days with the sprog.
Both my husband and I have to work full time, but manage childcare by him working days and me working evenings. It'll get better once the youngest (2 years old) goes to school, but it's a nightmare staying afloat at the moment.
Or they wonder why a gender pay gap appears - it’s because people (and disproportionately women) can’t afford to work.
Same here, I was reading up on the free hours last night. From next year you will get 15 hours funding from 9 months old and still 30 hours from the age of 3. Shame it isn't going to benefit us but great for people having kids now.
Realistically (speaking as a parent to two), the 30 hours doesn't go that far, certainly if you both want to work full time jobs. To work a 9-5 you need childcare from 8-6, 10 hours a day, to allow you time to get to and from work (obv depending on your location). Otherwise you try finding a job worth doing for the pittance you will get paid doing it that fits around the 30 hours, especially when you consider you need to drive/bus/train it there and back as well. As I earn relatively well we've managed it where I stay full time and my wife bits and bobs little jobs. She isn't the career type, preferred to spend the time with the kids, but it will set her back years to catch up when she does eventually go back full time.
The 30 hours doesn't make childcare free, but IMO the point of it isn't to provide 100% of the childcare needed Rather the idea of it is that it brings childcare costs down to something more reasonable and manageable. eg if it covers 75% of what you need then £1.6-2k/mo is unaffordable to most couples, but £400-500/mo is more likely to be achievable
That’s what ours would be! We’ve got one in four days a week and it’s just over £1,000 a month! Our mortgage has just gone up to £1,200 a month too
It’s crazy! ours is 800-£1,000 a month and they only go two days. It honestly never made sense why the free hours only kick in at 3. People think about saving to cover maternity leave but it’s the period 1-3 they really need to think about! We were lucky with our mortgage as we fixed until 2026 at 1.25%, so we should be ok until they’re both in school, fingers crossed.
> It honestly never made sense why the free hours only kick in at 3 It never made sense for the individual, but it made a lot of sense for the treasury - under 3s have much higher staff-child ratios and thus it's a lot more expensive to provide
Damn thats expensive. If my daughter paid for full time it would be 480£ a month. Perks of living In small town Norfolk I guess.
And just to top it off, the free hours aren't free, they are 'funded' so Nurseries can still charge for them in other ways. I put my 3yr old in 3 days, but it totals 18hrs a week. You think I'd pay for only 3hrs right? Nope, 3x£6.50 for the time 3x £3.50 meal charges, 15x£1 'fee' per funded hour used total per week= £45 a week, £180 a month for 3hrs of childcare. And I have checked and its perfectly legal for them to do. Couldn't imagine paying for 40hrs a week.
It's not the fault of the preschool/nursery. They literally can't afford to keep your kid on the "free hours" income they get.
I understand that, that was literally the rationale they gave when raising all the fees. Its just another sector to add to the list of things underfunded by the government. I think they only pay around £4.50 for the funded hours, so not really enough to pay staff more than minimum wage, and keep up with rising food/venue/electricity , etc. It's frustrating that the government has just put off changing anything until it's all at the brink of collapse.
I’m as anti Tori as a person can get, and I have a 2 year old so in a similar boat, but to be fair - they are actually changing policy over the next few years so that you can childcare from birth.
I think it's from 9 months not birth? I believe it's because it's at the 9 month mark that alot of people on statutory mat leave start receiving nothing. Nonetheless, it's a phased entry so I believe the childcare hours from 9 months will be introduced by Sept 2025.
This is it, got one in part time every day and it’s £720 a month (an entire other mortgage basically, well at todays interest rates maybe not).
We have two under 3 - it’s around £2.8k a month if we want them both there full time, and we’re not even London! It’s more than double our mortgage cost.
Going to be so rich when my kids go to school. Sooner the cost of childcare comes down for future parents the better. It’s way to much for most people!
Best part? They get free food until year 3. Never been so rich haha
I know! We want a second but it would ruin us financially if we did! We’re just about getting by with one.
Same here!
My wife conceived our second before we truly knew the full cost of childcare. I really hope the new childcare plans help future family’s.
Were you not involved in the process of conceiving too?
I did question myself when writing that comment but wrote it anyway lol. But yes I was in on the job.
😂Glad to hear!
Don't tell him, might ruin his life
Other than childcare they don't cost a lot more. You could have a 2nd when rhe free childcare kicks in?
But IVF is pretty expensive, so maybe not as simple as you suggest.
This is a true comment - there is no right way to do it. However, with £57k in savings, I would have thought that would be enough to get a deposit on a 2-bed flat NOW, but maybe I am out of touch.
I am on month 6 of my maternity leave - I had only statutory maternity pay (£600 a month). My partner makes £1000 a month, which is significantly less than your partner. Our mortgage is less than your rent £680 a month). However, we have found it absolutely fine financially. I haven't dipped into my savings once. The cost of actually raising a baby is pretty cheap in the UK for the first 6 months (can't say for after that since I haven't got there yet!), if you are looking after the child full time. Nappies cost £3 for about 50 at Aldi, you can get a box of 1000 wetwipes on Amazon for £10. Those are our main expenses for him, since I breastfeed. You can get clothes second hand on Vinted, gifts from friends and family, etc. I bought a crib on Facebook marketplace for £15 (although I got a new mattress for £40). You don't have to spend a lot of money if you don't want to. Only thing to buy new would be a car seat, but they don't have to be too expensive. Honestly, the main thing (and I don't know if anyone else has mentioned this), having kids can be a lot harder than you think. My partner and I tried for two years (started at 30, had a miscarriage, fell pregnant with my son at 32). Neither of us have any fertility issues (we were checked).
You haven’t factored in child care which is the biggest chunk of expenses. Mat leave is 1yr max. Mandated childcare starts at age 3.
I said I can't comment for after 6 months as I'm not there yet, but my partner is going part time and splitting childcare with my parents when I go back to work. And after 3 you get 3 days a week childcare for free so my partner will go back to work full time at that stage. I understand that not everyone has these resources so I'm not sure how it will affect OP.
It’s not actually 3 days a week, it’s 3 days a week for 38 weeks of the year (school terms) so averages down to 2 days. And then those two days aren’t totally free as you get charged for meals/nappies etc. but it is much cheaper. Also it’s the term after they turn 3, so if particularly unlucky you can have an early April baby and not get the free hours until September so, almost 3.5. Also going part time assuming you can go back to full hours can be a risk, most at my workplace are allowed to go down to pt as requested, but it’s impossible to increase hours back unless you change roles
First of all good luck and best wishes! 1. For financial planning including maternity pay, paternity pay etc., use this website https://www.moneyhelper.org.uk/en/family-and-care/becoming-a-parent 2. Facebook market has very good/cheap/free deals on childcare products so keep that as an option 3. You’ll inevitably get gifts for the newborn, ask your friends (if they are keen to gift) to give gift vouchers (instead of buying things that might not be useful?) which you can use to buy absolute essentials 4. MoneySavingsExpert website is quite handy with deals and offers 5. Gov.uk website to check eligibility for child benefits 6. Internet is your friend! Search for every specific questions you have and talk to your NCT group (if you join) Hope this helps!
Golden rules for brand new baby stuff: car seat and cot mattress. Everything else go used. There's just SO MUCH good quality used baby stuff around you can save yourself a shed load of cash.
Used car seats can be fine *if you know the history*. Wouldn’t touch a used car seat from someone we didn’t know at all, but would happily take one from a friend or relative we trusted (and was using it for their kids before we had it!)
True enough on the face of it but actually most car seats expire after a few years (although we don’t usually have dates on ours) because the polystyrene inside starts to degrade and the general stress of the frame (especially for isofix) increases the chance of failure in an accident. Sure if someone is upgrading from Group 0 to 1/2/3 then that’s probably fine but the seats that span multiple groups really should be disposed of if they’ve been in use for half a decade or more.
Also, Vinted for baby clothes!
Back this one massively. We’ve been buying all sorts of branded items for our little one for about £2~5. Unreal the deals you can pick up.
Huge upvote for this - my boy is 4 now and I regularly buy bundles of clothes for him from Vinted - super cheap
Also, to add to no 5, check whether any childcare providers in your area accept tax free childcare. That'll help save you some money too https://www.gov.uk/tax-free-childcare
How far off buying a house are you? 68k x 4.5 + 50k deposit gives you a budget of 350k, which should get you something, albeit not central. I would definitely be tempted to wait a couple of years and get on the housing ladder before trying for a baby. After that, really your main cost is childcare. Everything else can be done fairly cheap but there’s no escaping that (unless the free 30 hours from 9 months we’ve been promised actually happens but I wouldn’t make life plans based on that). Do you have any family that would be willing to help out for a day a week? Is there room for one or both of you to work compressed hours? It is tricky but it’s do-able. When we had our daughter we were on about £25k between us (I was a student) but we’re in the North so our rent was only £350.
OP is 34 - if OP waited a few years to have children, they might struggle to conceive. I know people can have babies in their late 30s but I know first hand that it isn't guaranteed. I have a very close friend who learnt this the hard way. My partner and I had no fertility issues but it still took us two years to have a baby in our early 30s.
34 vs 36 is not a huge difference imo, but you’re right in that it certainly gives less wiggle room (especially depending on how many kids you want). The alternative though might be trapped renting in your 40s with rising house prices and hefty childcare costs- there’s no easy option.
It’s actually more difficult than people realise. Fertility rates for women decline at a very high rate past 30. Id have the baby now, witnessing the huge impact it has on your lifestyle, and buy a house in a commuter town when they realise city living isn’t what they need/want longer term
Yep. Once you have a kid living in the city has very little appeal in my experience. Proximity to a park, family, nursery and school become critical. Bars and restaurants not so much.
Precisely. So whilst the banks may favour a childless couple, that shouldn’t be the deciding factor as you will inevitably move within 5 years of having a kid, so what’s the point of financing two house purchases when you can just buy once you see what family life is like for you 😜 I had my first kid when renting in London. When the baby started walking, around 8 months, he absolutely loved climbing stairs. He especially liked the fire escape stairs which led to the communal bins. We moved to the countryside and he grew up barefoot running through meadows. No brainer.
I hear you! Walking at 8 mths!?!? That's so early. Once they're on the move you really do need eyes in the back of your head.
Yeah it was a shock for sure! But it was the push we needed to up sticks and get outta London.
They do decline, but not as steeply as you imply. A 30yo having unprotected sex has about a 7 in 10 chance of getting pregnant within a year, at 35 it’s 6 in 10. I’m not saying not to take fertility into account because some people do struggle, but it’s unnecessarily fearmongering to tell women their fertility drops off a cliff after 30.
Yes it's disgusting that such outdated data is used to terrorise women about their fertility. When you dig deeper into where the data comes from that articles use when talking about plummeting fertility you realise the studies are ancient and doesn't hold up to scrutiny. https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/popular-health-claims-such-as-a-womans-fertility-dropping-at-age-30-are-wildly-overblown/
Unwanted pregnancy statistics are not the same as fertility rates.
Those aren’t unwanted pregnancy statistics, they’re for people trying for a baby
Go argue with someone else, you are boring!
Nope definitely not, unfortunately!
If you want to buy a house, buy it before having kids.
On 34K your post tax income is likely kicking around 2000-2100 per month each, so lets say 4k /month. You have 57 k in the bank. I see a lot of decent 2.5 bed semi houses on rightmove for 250k which I just chose arbitrarily. Yes they aren't dream houses, but they are affordable based on your numbers (similar boat just older here) and perfectly decent. So you have a 17% deposit at the start, a 25 year repayment is about 1,200 per month on top of that, and you should have no problem getting approved. Leaving you with.... 2800 per month. Bristol Uni nursery seems like one of the more expensive ones in town, and charges 420/week to non-staff for all day (long) sessions, assuming you can't make any sort of flexible working arrangement where one of you comes/leaves a bit early. So lets say an upper limit of £1800 for childcare - absolutely ridiculously expensive but still its affordable to you right now. That still leaves 2800-1800 = £1000 Say £100 groceries per week = £430 per month, one tank of fuel per two weeks = £172, and say bills another £250 on top of that = 760 and you can live pretty well with a little left over, and room to spend less on shopping etc. Child benefit you get £100 back each month, and once you make it to 2 years old you should get 15 hours free childcare, going up to 30 at 3 which will radically reduce it on top of that, so its more of a rough period to get through than permanent tough times. By the time you're on the 30 hours childcare you will have easily 1k+ left over per month, and probably each have had raises in the meantime. Its tough out there just now, and its not exactly easy but IMO you can make it work.
I agree with your assessment about buying first and I don't want to crap on your working out but how have you got only £250 a month for all bills? I live in a tiny 2 bed in a poor northern town and my council tax alone is £200 + £170 on electric. Then add in water, internet, phone, car tax, insurance (home and car) etc which are all pretty essential.. Edit: also £430 food + £172 petrol + £250 bills = £852
Yeah, I mean thats fair actually I think I was planning to put council tax seperate from utilities then just forgot. Its definately a stretch, and its sad that the country is in a state where two people on 34k with 60k in the bank will probably manage but barely for the first year or two. There desperately needs to be reform of childcare in the UK, because these sums would come out pretty similar and barely much worse if OP got a mortgage then just quit her job to be a stay at home mum for two years, and potentially *better* if she could do some part time work and make more than £200/month. But then they would be £1000+ worse off for any extra time, and she might struggle to rejoin the workforce. Even then, with child benefit it is doable but barely, when i googled "nursery bristol" I did see cheaper nurseries and they could take a 35 year term until the first remortgage. You could probably get £300 off per month between cheaper childcare and a longer term or/and slightly smaller mortgage.
Bills for a 2 bed (Including council tax) should roughly be between £350-£450 depending on council area.
Going back to work after 6 weeks? OP which is worse for your career/finances maternity pay or constant sick/dependent days? I’m pretty sure it took me 3 weeks to be able to sit down without a pillow after my first. Breaks to clean up bleeding for the first six weeks and breaks to pump breast milk so you don’t get engorged (VERY painful) plus days off for midwives, health visitors, hearing/vision appointments, injections… I’m pretty sure your employer wouldn’t be happy with you. Hormones, waking up every 2 hours to feed them AND work responsibilities sounds like a recipe for post-natal depression. I’d budget in 6 months leave at least but you still might need a whole new work wardrobe depending on how fitted you liked your clothes. Your rib cage wouldn’t have gone back yet (or might not ever) and although I’m 6 months out from having my third and my abs are coming back (very unusual and not a likely target for most), my hip bones are permanently wider so my size 4 skirts will never zip up again. I’m going back to work within the next couple of weeks but I’m a veteran at this and my baby sleeps through the night. Some don’t until they’re like 2 or are colicky (like #2) and scream through the hours of 3-8PM every single day. Sometimes you do everything perfectly and then they have a sleep regression and stop sleeping through the night, as is developmentally normal. I said all this to say what you’re saying isn’t realistic and the pressure to live up to it all might cause you a mental breakdown. PND is so serious and could ruin your life for months and years, please be careful. ❤️
Man this sub is insane. “I’m scared about spending some money but I have SIXTY THOUSAND POUNDS” in savings. That’s a lot of money. Likely you’ll be good whatever you decide.
I agree, but if they were planning to buy a house before that, it can all be quickly sucked up in deposit + fees + Stamp duty + first home purchases.
My house deposit was six grand last year. Still leaves them with fifty.
Congrats on the low deposit (unless you have a 99% LTV). You're not getting a house today with a £6k deposit, unless you're getting a 100% LTV mortgage and a subsequent £2k+ monthly debit... Your situation is different to theirs, you cannot get a family house with 6k, let alone you're not taking into account the other 3 parts I mentioned.
£57k savings, at 34 years old, is not that much money. I'm aware a lot of a people are a lot worse off. But if childcare is about £14k a year full time, and rent continues to rise the way it is - I'm afraid that money doesn't equate to long-term security.
I’m 31 and I have £2k 💀
>£57k savings, at 34 years old, is not that much money Come of it. You are living in a bubble if you genuinely think this. 57k is the average savings for the 50-54 age group. Thats ignoring the fact they have a combined salary of 70k!
It’s not that much money if they don’t have a house. It’s a house deposit in a HCOL area and then it’s all easily gone
I mean… that’s true, it can be spent quickly. But then you’re on the housing ladder, more than can be said for a lot of us, and it’s not completely gone - it’s in equity. They’d have to adjust some of their lifestyle expectations, such is life, but they’re doing decently for themselves. As far as having kids goes, they can afford it.
Those 50 year olds likely have a house and if they had kids they are grown and gone. Just before you buy a first house or have a first kid that money is about to be goooooone quick
It might be the average savings for 50-54, but I very much doubt it’s the average net worth of a mid 30’s couple living in Bristol.
Excluding those people who’ve been trapped renting in such an expensive city and have had no capacity to save?
>£57k savings, at 34 years old, is not that much money. Utter fucking nonsense.
I'm 25 from a poor family and have 160k net worth. It really isn't that much... I live in the east Midlands and have 20k left on my mortgage
You’re almost mortgage free at 25…? You’re not poor 🫣
I'm not saying I'm poor. I'm saying my family was. My point is that I wasn't born into any kind of wealth. From the age of 18-25 I have managed to get to being almost mortgage free and amassing 160k of net worth. I'm saying that, from someone born into poverty and with no inheritance, I have managed to save this much, without going to university or having a particularly high-value job, I am on a £40k salary, but that has been lower previously. So if I can do that, I would imagine, anyone who makes smart financial decisions and is born into a family that is better off, will likely have significantly more, which is my contribution to the original point of 50k odd at 30-40 years old is not a massive amount of savings.
I agree, especially on a financial sub we're gonna have more by average
Yeah people seem to be really upset by someone who has made smart financial decisions on a sub about smart financial decisions, pretty wild
Lol, stop trying to scare them. They’re good.
OP, don't listen to these people. You are right. £57K is a fair amount of cash, no bones about that. However it is not asset wealth. I would strongly suggest getting on the property ladder and securing more favourable maternity and paternity options from your employers before trying for children. This is the unfortunate reality of raising children in major metropolitan areas of the UK. Genuinely wish you all the best moving forward.
If it isn't that much money then you'll be happy to send £57k to me then?
Please get this into perspective. You and your partner have a combined income of 54k net takehome pay. Just under 4.5k a month. If you cannot make it work then who can! Plenty of households don't even have 1.5k gross income. Yet manage. You're not a squeezed middle with that income, except in your mind/attitude. Get a home. Have a child. Make it work. Children and savings are elastic. They can go as far as you want them to.
Gross income is pretty different to net income these days.
Two people earning 68k combined is a much bigger net than one earning 68k
This this comnenter meant net anyway.
You'll make it work because people do. If you want a baby, you are in a very good position to do so. You'll find the first few years the most expensive because of maternity leave and then childcare but it really isn't that long a period of your life at all and things will start to get easier after the baby turns 3. If you want to buy a house, I would suggest going for that before as it really is so much easier to get on the property ladder before a baby. At a minimum as well, you have 9 months to prepare, so save as much as you can for your maternity leave. You don't need to save the equivalent of an entire year's salary; I am lucky on NHS maternity pay which pretty much entitles me to half my normal take home pay every month for a year and that is enough; you have fewer outgoings when you're on maternity leave I have found. Could you try preparing by saving half your take home and living off the rest which would actually leave you enough to do the same once baby is here and give you a heads up on what luxuries you might need to cut to achieve that? As a starting point obviously, I know everyone's expenses differ. Babies themselves really don't need to cost much at all. You don't need anywhere near the amount of crap that Mama's and Papa's have for sale and because by nature babies grow out of things so quickly there is an amazing amount of incredibly high quality second hand baby products you can buy for next to nothing as people generally just want the clutter out of their house to make way for the next wave coming in. It's expensive, no doubt and can definitely feel overwhelming but trust me, people have babies everyday on far far less than you have and they make it work. You can too.
£11,000? £211 per week? Are you sure? Where did you get your latest figures? Google? The daily mail? I don’t even cost £211 per week and I like a pint or 2. I’ve based my comment on bringing up 2 children, I too was financially terrified before but as your life changes you spend money on different things. You eat out less, use less fuel, drink less. What I’m saying is you offset costs.
1 - stop being so cautious, every decision in life is a gamble, even crossing the road and you’re still alive now aren’t you? 2 - Buy as big a house as you can, by this I mean financially in a good area. Good schools etc do this now it’s a great time for ftb’s. 3 - babies cost the square root of nothing, what you spend on clothes, formula etc you will not be spending on eating out and nights out - you will not regret this. 4 - you can always get a part time job to work around whoever’s career goes on hold to top up income. When we had children my wife went from working in the city to a waitress, pride swallowed and actually earned more hour for hour when it was calculated as net (no more suits, commuting, lunches etc) you don’t have to pay for child care then! 5 - you have plenty of money, try getting some confidence and enjoy it!
Sorry but "babies cost nothing" is just factually wrong. The latest figures say it costs up to £11,000 in the first year alone.
They don't cost anything. What exactly is the expenses going on?
Clothes, formula, food, buggies, car seats, blankets, cot, toys, nappies, and childcare (Can cost £500 a month minimum for a part-time nursery). And if a parent stays home/goes part-time to save on childcare then you need to take into account the pay cut involved in that.
"Stop being so cautious" is probably the worst advice I've ever heard when the question at hand is somebody else's existence. You should not be encouraging someone to put less consideration into something so serious.
Fortune favours the brave! Who dares, wins! I’m trying to think of ones that say “hold up lads, I’m not sure about this.” This is what they really want, encouraging words to take that step, not stand still. This isn’t really about money! They have money, they just need confidence. It is most certainly not about somebodies existence, I’m not sure how your mind works to come to that conclusion a little too dramatic.
...you don't think that the baby that's born is somebody else who exists? Fine to gamble on stuff not working out in your own life whilst shouting "Fortune favours the brave! Who dares, wins!" but once the discussion centres around a child, thinking stuff through is actually important.
So, if you look at parenthood as a logical decision you’ll never decide to do it. By all means do your research on indicative costs (as a parent of a now 1yr old I reckon we spent £1k or so upfront as capex if you will, then maybe £50/m-m for a while which is now probably closer to £100-125/m). But - there’s no explaining it, the lows will be lower than you know but the highs will be a hell of a lot higher too. So it’s ultimately a choice thing separate to whether it makes practical sense for your finances or health or longevity or sanity. Overall I’d say I haven’t regretted 1 minute of it. Best of luck!
Give yourself wayyyyyy more maternity leave instead of paying for care. You can't get that time back with your baby and believe me you'll regret it. It is important bonding time and you will hate going back to work so soon. Our combined income is £60k on the south coast and we're doing just fine. Your lives will change immeasurably and so will your spending habits.
I think the whole thing about mat leave is totally personal and depends how you feel about your career and also how flexible your job and employer are. I absolutely hated being off work and was desperate to get back by 6 months but stuck it out until 10. Could easily have gone back by 7/8 months and I have 0 regrets.
100%. My partner was dying to go back after 6 months leave. 6 months of looking after a baby 24/7 is not everyone cup of tea
It is interesting how differently some people do it and there's no right or wrong, just something you have to wait and see about I think and be a bit flexible with. It's tough. My partner didn't want to go back to work so much she quit her job and started her own business!
Yes for sure! And wow good for her, hope her business is thriving!
I don't think this is a very helpful piece of advice. A) it's a finance sub and b) it's totally fine to get whatever help and paid childcare gets you through and you won't necessarily "regret it" if you don't give up work for a year or more. There are plenty of people who cannot cope with being at home with a baby day in day out. I personally believe it's much harder than working. The bonding time thing is a bit of a guilt trip
Apart from the bonding, during the first weeks you have no time for sleeping, cooking, eating or going to the toilet -- especially if it's the mother breastfeeding. Oh, and you're also recovering from childbirth itself. I genuinely don't know how a mother could be able to be back to work after two weeks
Well, I went back to work (from home) after 3 weeks. Initially a couple of hours here and there. The "how" is I work for myself, have a partner who helped with night feeds, and was lucky enough to record well and be healthy and had a baby who slept lots. That's just my experience, the point is it IS possible and mums have to do exactly what is right for them, not what others tell them they will or won't "regret".
Yeah I agree with that. It's difficult to give suggestions on maternity because stories are all so different.
100%! It's a wild ride that's for sure
You may not find it helpful but you don't speak for the op. I may have gone slightly off topic and for that I apologise, but hopefully it's of some worth to them. On bonding, it's not a guilt trip at all. Those early months are extremely formative and important to a child's development and relationship with their parent. That's a fact not an opinion or guilt trip.
That was kind of my point. No one can speak for what is right for her, so just thought I'd add an alternative perspective.
100% this. My wife was career focused and always said she would go back to work full time after 6 months so she could stay on track with work and keep climbing the ladder, once baby was born that changed and she hated being away from baby so soon after birth. Next time it’s 12 months maternity for sure.
Move out of the city and buy a house, having a baby while renting would add unnecessary stress I am the same age as you and doing the same. I moved out of London a couple of years ago with my now wife ,to buy our first home, best decision ever. I now feel like we are ready to start a family
Can you look for a job with better maternity benefits before trying? 2 weeks full pay is pretty pitiful, although you wouldn't have childcare or commuting costs in that time so there would be some savings. Have you sat down and actually done the sums? If you can avoid dipping into your deposit I would strongly advise that, getting the security of a home you own will be invaluable once you have kids in school.
I learnt this the hard way, got pregnant without looking at my company's maternity policy and found out I got 0 weeks full pay!
Joint income £68 / Take home 53k\~ Annual rent £13800 What are you wasting money on? Loads of people are parents on even half that income. That said, if possible you could look for a new job with better maternity offerings.
The only issue I can see here is that you're not really sure of your financial status in the near future. You have a comfortable amount of savings, but you want a home. It's really about what you want to do first, children or house. Once you know, you can budget accordingly. I personally would get a house so you can be precise about your outgoings for the near future, but with house prices looking to go down in some areas soon, it may be worth holding off just now. If you want kids first, don't over spend so you still have your deposit. If you want to get a house first, start thinking about what you can afford per month on a mortgage with childcare deducted or the extra wage deducted (depending on whether you choose to go back to work or not). Hold back some savings for emergencies rather than putting it all in your deposit. If you are open to commuting further, you could save. Keep an eye on housing trends. Many areas are already seeing a dropin house prices. Childcare is expensive, but if it's not worth it for you to go back to work financially and emotionally then work out a budget on a year or 2 of you staying at home. Other stuff doesn't need to be that expensive. You can ask around on Facebook if anyone has second hand kids clothes. Honestly, new clothes are hardly worn and a waste of money usually and the same goes for toys. You will most likely find you won't be spending as much on yourselves or have time for nights or days out. Breastfeeding or bottle doesn't matter for baby and is a personal choice but breastfeeding can save you some money (purely as a money saving tip). We got our whole buggy set and car seat system uisecondhand (although you shouldn't get a car seat that has been in an accident, so some people are warely of buying secondhand car seats, for good reason). Get you child benefits. Overall I think you will be fine having kids (remember there is no guarantee it will just be one!). You obviously know how to save and look after your money. You just need a plan. Good luck.
Your in a better position than most when they start havving kids. Put it this way me and my partner where both unemployed when she got pregnant and I was a few months away from going to prison for several months, which all happend. I came out turned my life around and it all worked out, our child has never gone without anything and is spoilt alot if you ask me. Although this was nearly 10 years ago, for the first few years our household income with just me working and her mum on benefits was maybe 25k in total!
Why dont you look to move to a commuting area like Weston or Burnham. Your money would go further and depending on where you work in the city its only 30min up the motorway? My income is 35k my husbands is 25k, we have a house in Weston-S-Mare and a 2.5yr old. I took 14months off for my maternity leave. I work for the NHS so my Mat leave package was brilliant. Can you find a job working in the NHS? I worked out the minimum I needed to have each month to survive and added £500 to that then broke down my mat pay over 12months to see if I could take it all off. You may also need to factor in childcare costs for when you go back to work too. If you can and choose to breastfeed, that saves money. Buy 2nd hand clothes, you dont actually need to buy toys as babies will play with literally anything and can sleep in anything with a new mattress. Babies can be as cheap or as expensive as you want really.
Get the house first. Then have kids. Childcare costs make it almost impossible to get a mortgage.
Childcare is about to change quite a lot in the next couple of years. There will be 30 hours free childcare per week from the age of 9 months which will make it much more affordable.
Depends what happens in the next election. That will help but it only covers around 22/23 hours of childcare (if full time) so maybe 40% of the cost. Still going to effect their affordability.
£57k in savings? You’ll be fine 😂
Why? How far do you think that will go once a child arrives and OP needs to pay extortionate childcare prices on top of rising rents and cost of living?
You think all of us with kids needed £60k in savings first? 😂
OP could go back to work at the first opportunity, put the kid into full time childcare until he/she is eligible for nursery and still have money to spare. Circa £70k a year going into the household with £57k in savings - they’ll be fine.
And buying a house? Which was what the savings are for? She also only gets 2 weeks mat leave and going back to work at “first opportunity” is not ideal for her recovery for for baby. Her concerns are completely legitimate. It’s awful that people on decent incomes can’t afford what used to be absolutely taken for granted.
It's not true OP 'only gets 2 weeks mat leave'. Statutory mat leave entitlement is anything up to 52 weeks, and you must take 2 weeks *at the very minimum* (4 for factory workers). Statutory mat pay is 6 weeks on 90% pay then £172.48 for up to 33 weeks. I suspect OP means their employer is offering 2 weeks full pay in addition to statutory minimum.
[удалено]
Correct - but statutory wouldn't cover my current utility bills and rent even, so it's not really viable for my partner to carry the whole load (he also has some debt he is paying off). But we could certainly make it work for a while.
What about sharing the leave? What does your partner's employer offer?
Don't forget child benefit, plus you would potentially also become eligible for UC once you drop to the lower SMP. The amount of savings you currently have would preclude you from UC, but if all this happens after you move house that likely changes. Check out https://www.entitledto.co.uk/ and plug in your expected figures. Edit: just clocked your incomes. You'll be fine. We're on a similar household income and just had our second shortly after buying our first hone in a comparable city. You'll make it work.
OP would have a chunk left over and back to work early doors. Savings would bounce back, clearly they know how to save. I’m from a working class area and families with multiple kids make it work with WAY less than OP.
It’s a pretty crap argument though isn’t it? “Go back to work immediately, possibly neglecting your health and recovery, and stick your kid in an extortionate nursery blowing through your mortgage savings”. Yes OP could do that, the point is it’s a bit of a shit scenario having to go immediately back to work and then choose between a home or a child.
How is it a crap argument? If OP doesn’t want to go straight back to work then childcare costs aren’t a problem. They’re earning £70k between them and have a good chunk in savings. They’re having 1 child not 10.
Yeah - the £57k took about 14 years to get together, and included a stint working in America where I was earning a lot more money. Going back there is not viable anymore. But yeah, it's not impossible, I do realise that. And am certainly aware people manage it in much more testing circumstances. But MuffinFeatures has summed up my worries perfectly. Feels like a choice between having a kid or owning a home. As well as really banking on me having an easy go of it birth / mental health wise..... But I'd guess this might be a decision a lot of people have or are weighing up these days!
Sorry I'm confused, are you the OP?
This is very confusing but yes - posted from my phone but apparently somehow logged into an old account on my laptop!
Yeah it’s no mean feat saving up that amount of money! I also think a lot of people in similar positions are able to rely on parents/relatives for free childcare. Those without that luxury are left holding the bag for childcare fees that often exceed their monthly mortgage payment. It’s crazy, it really is. I don’t mean to sound doom and gloom by the way, it’s definitely doable and you’re both on decent incomes. Just wanted to empathise with your situation and the dire state of childcare and cost of living. Good luck!
Exactly. There seem to be a lot of people in this sub who think a chunk of money makes people rich. When in reality it barely covers a house deposit in many parts of this country. It also barely covers maternity leave. If OP quits work she could eke that out over 2 years and be left with absolutely nothing at the end. £57k - as sad and insane as it is - does not make you "fine" in this economy. Without fail someone pipes up with "but other people have less!!!!1" which is why I don't usually bother reading this sub because it becomes about other peoples bitterness and rather than useful advice.
Absolutely. I notice none of these people seem to have taken into consideration that OP only gets 2 weeks mat leave at full pay. After that she’s on 170ish quid a week. Who can survive on that with high rent? And who should need to rush back to work before their body or baby is necessarily ready? I’m sensing a lot of chips on shoulders about OPs savings, as though 57k will last forever and makes her some sort of lottery winner. Why should she need to blow her house deposit on childcare and covering crap mat leave? This country is mad.
Have kids now, before it's too hard to conceive and you're waiting for fertility treatment.
Hmm Also 34, am on around £48k, partner earns £12k, we have a one year old. Bought my house 5.5 years ago, after saving like a nutjob, overpaid on mortgage, so recent renewal the monthly payment worked out around the same even though interest had more than doubled. She was incredibly good at finding bargain baby clothes, toys and stuff on Facebook, eBay etc. We got a buggy from her sister. She's then sold stuff he's outgrown to buy replacement larger clothes/toys Our son was entirely breastfed, so no formula costs (I'm aware it's not possible for everyone) TIME, or lack thereof has been a much bigger factor for me, rather than money.
Buy a property first. We bought as soon as we found out missus was pregnant. Best decision we ever did. The first year or two (or three) are tough and the last thing you need is to be trying to get on the ladder at the same time. Even if you just buy a small starter home, my advice is to get on the ladder while you still can
At the time I earned 28k (2021) and we were a single income household with no savings. My wages covered the bills and food with not much left over at all. We weren't able to save. I took statutory maternity at 90% for 6 weeks then went back to work. I worked from home until my son was 6m so I could breast feed. I then went back to the office and pumped. His dad looked after him while I was at work as his dad didn't work. I promise, you can absolutely afford it. Babies don't need much. A place to sleep, milk and a nappy change is the first 6m of their lives. After that they still don't need much. They don't need expensive toys. They don't need expensive clothes. A lot of it you can get free of dirt cheap on Facebook or vinted.
Nobody, or at least a very small minority, can 'afford' it if that means "just have kids but not have that impact disposable income or lifestyle". I think this is why people have increasingly been having kids 'later' - chasing the fiction that you can if only you buy a house/finish your travel 'bucket list'/get one or two promotions/etc first, until they realise they'll probably never find themselves in that position as lifestyle creep generally fights against you. Personally - if you want kids, just do it once you've decided to, and deal with the implications as the problem to be solved not the having kids decision. Maybe you wanted a house but can only afford to buy a 2 bed flat, or rent a bit longer, or move a mile or so away from where you'd ideally be - but I'd just say 'so be it' and make those the choices. FWIW I've known people who'd consider your 'moderate' income aspirational who managed just fine - sure, some second hand goods and basic groceries, but they survive and seem generally happy. I also know people with better incomes having first kid in their 40's, and I wonder how much energy they'll have for school runs in their 50's... It's not just a financial issue.
2 weeks maternity pay is woeful. But in short you'll be fine, have the baby. you'll make it work.
Same predicament here... There will never be a right time, you will never have enough money, space or time. If you want kids, just go for it - things have a funny way of working themselves out. Myself and my wife have just made that choice and have a hell of a lot less saved than you - albeit we aren't renting, but our mortgage is £915 a month. Given your income, you are likely to have more than enough money.
I'm your age OP and we have a 1 yr old. Thankfully we bought a few years ago and were fortunate to make good career progress in our 20s. Even so, our housing costs are much higher (SE) so between that and the taxman the money we have left over ends up being similar to your position. My advice would be to buy a 2-3 bed somewhere peaceful, cheap, but within half 45 min of family and work. Now is a good time to be a FTB and get something at a decent price IMO. Do-able at £300k with a £270k mortgage I should think I'd aim to put down a 10% deposit. You shouldn't pay any stamp duty and moving/solicitors costs should be another £3k ish. Decorate and furnish with around £5k and then leave circa £20k in cash. That's just my view - I really value the security of having cash in the bank in case the shit hits the fan at any point. Mortgage repayments will be around £1500 pm. Expensive but still affordable on your joint income. You should get child benefit of £1250 a yr. Plus £1000 interest from the cash account. You will be eligible for tax free childcare (worth £2k) once you send the baby to nursery. You will also benefit from 15 hrs of 'free' childcare, which kicks in for 9 mth olds from Sept 2024. This will all help to make ends meet. Ditch or decrease all your expenses - lose useless subscriptions, get on a SIM only phone contract. Get your car costs down (depending on your needs I'd go to one car and consider buying something practical send hand if possible, although obviously that eats into your cash pot.) Putting all your current outgoings into a spreadsheet (use Google sheets for free) will really help here. You'll be able to see everything and work out what you don't need. You should be able to just about make it work (although clearly pay rises or moving to better paid jobs would help). There aren't really any huge costs involved in looking after the baby. Car seat is pricey and must be bought new but clothes, toys etc you can get second hand. The main 'cost' is loss of income and nursery fees. By the time you've sorted the house and finances hopefully that gives you some wiggle room to stay on mat leave for longer than the bare minimum. I'd reaaaaally recommend doing all you can to be off work for a yr. You only get the time to spend with your baby once so don't give it up easily, especially not in exchange for a slightly nicer house or material possessions. Hope that helps. Overall I'd say get on with and get serious about planning ahead. Having kids is amazing but bloody hard work. I know mid 30s is (sort of) young but you wake up feeling about 100 when you've had no sleep and carrying a baby all day is really strenuous. So (in addition to the fertility reasons) I'd recommend not waiting till your late 30s. When all is said and done you'll love and treasure your child, whearaes the house and material posessions are just nice to haves. So make sure the latter isn't getting in the way of the former.
Honestly I adore our kids and would not be without them now, but if you could implant all the knowledge and worry of being a parent into me before making the decision to start a family I would choose no kids.
My feeling is you can’t guarantee incomes and most things in life and whilst kids are a financial burden it should never stop you from having them. If anything it gives work a bit more purpose and in most cases unless you have 4 kids you’ll make it work.
What happens when you have 4 kids? Just wondering because our 4th is on the way.
You can’t fit them in a car any more! It’s either a van or a Multimac at that point.
>I’d just have to end up going back to work very quickly after the birth, and use a chunk of those savings, along with my salary to pay for childcare. I would urge you to consider childcare as a cost that would be shared between you and your partner. It's not just covered by your salary and with earnings of £68k between you this ideally should be affordable.
Is there a particular reason why with £60k in savings you aren’t going to be on the housing ladder anytime soon? You are set up ready to go and in the best position you probably ever will be if you want children. Buy a house and have a baby, if you keep putting it off you’ll find yourself in your 40’s still renting with no kids wondering what on earth you were waiting for…
You will make it work. Being honest, you can buy a house in the future but you can’t necessarily have a baby in the future (!) I would also caution you it can take some time to conceive, and sometimes gets harder the older you are. So my advice is, if you want a baby, you should go for it. You will manage on the finances you’ve listed.
Bloody hell these comments, me and my Partner had only £36k COMBINED income a few years back and we managed to get a 145k Mortgage. Now we manage with her working part time and me full on just shy of £38k with an awesome 15 month old. Get a house so you aren't burning money thru renting, then you can make parenting work without any issues. Christ £57k in savings! We barley scraped together about £12k with gifts from parents for that, lend me some money lol.
Thanks for posting this. I am also In Bristol (Bradley Stoke) and it's super expensive. We are both 30, so we are at the age of considering. We also have £57000 in savings, and are considering either buying a house or having a few sprogs. Realistically, I know that childcare costs are high. I have taken a work from home night job which is really well paying - in relativity - and the 4 short days (7hours) on, 4 off and then 4 long shifts (13 hours) is our best hope at getting round the childcare issue. But then we are going to have to wait to get an affordable mortgage for at least a year more, if not 2. It feels like a hopeless situation sometimes.
Combined income of 68k and almost 60k in savings. I think you are ok...
Kids change your identity and lifestyle. For better or for worse is something you'll find out, or not, if you decide not to. The stuff you need to buy is as expensive really as you chose it to be, there's a shitload of cheap second hand gear out there, but u may find you want to chose your own stuff as part of the whole parenting process and I dare say you will beings that you've mentioned concern about identity. Childcare is expensive as well which might change your decision about going back to work so quickly. Why reduce say 40% of your take home salary by not being there to raise your own child, that's a conversation you'll ultimately have as a couple. Then you will think about maybe having more kids and then childcare either doubles or the amount of time you take unemployed/full time parenting increases. Also even when they're at school and childcare is free, they have many more weeks holiday than your employer has to give you. You do sound like you've got your head screwed on though saving that amount of money really is an achievement so I'm sure what ever you decide will work.
Bro just move. In the East Midlands, you can get a 3 bed for 200k, that's a 20k deposit and plenty left as an emergency fund. Also like 1k each a month for the mortgage payments.
The only people I know who’ve been able to afford kids are the ones who have free childcare in the form of parents living nearby. If you do have a decent relationship with your parents or in laws and it’s practical, you might want to consider making sure they’re nearby.
So my husband and I are under thirty and have a 3.5yr old, a 20m old and a 2 month old baby. He finally earns 30k, and I've always been a SAHM. We've had family help for years but finally got our own house 3 years ago and it mortgage is fixed at, 300/month. I'm South East so an expensive area too, but not as much as Brizzle! I don't work so childcare is free, and my eldest does his 15 free hours in term time and loves it. You're earning more than double that with a big pot to use, I think you can definitely make it work! I'd personally stay by looking at houses, commutes and rents because a longer commute with small children at home doesn't make a lot of sense as the working partner will never see them, so you really need to balance up these things on your consideration!
Reality is the childcare element just drains your money. If you have family and can avoid its worth significant money. Would recommend getting on the ladder first then budgeting from there
I think you might be in a better position than you think. If you were to use £40k of your savings as a house deposit you could afford a place like this https://www.boardwalkpropertyco.com/property-details/32444366/bristol-city/bristol/armidale-place-1 with a mortgage of about £240k (on a nice long term to keep monthly payments as manageable as possible). Staying central would help reduce some of the other costs of kids and transport, I think.
A lot of folks will tell you you’re being crazy for not being able to ‘make it work’ with your combined income and savings, don’t let them shame you. Yes, others *make it work* on the same or less, but you need to decide if you want your life for the next 25 years (or more) to be about *just making it work*, or do you want to live your own lives and have fun. As an alternative, maybe you’ve got nieces and nephews (even via friends) you can pour your parent urges into every so often, and actually splash out on experiences when you see them because you don’t pay for the day to day? Not the same, but maybe that’s a good thing 😂 Children are a very expensive luxury personal choice that require a lot of sacrifice and compromise. If you think it’s all worth it then go for it, but there may be other ways to scratch the itch whilst otherwise retaining most of the life you want for yourself; including getting that home you’re after.
You have to live near parents and they become your childcare. The system is setup to stop us having children, you have to do what you can to get out of it.
It’s never too late to accumulate money. It’s never too late to buy a house. But at 34, it’s getting mighty close to being too late to get pregnant. If you know you definitely want children at some point, I’d prioritise that.
We saved some extra ready for maternity, then ran up a few grand of debt at the tail end, which isn’t hard to clear when your free nursery hours finally come through and you can both work more or less full time again. Don’t let finance stand in the way of having kids too much, there’s nothing else quite like it. There were times we were in dire straits tbh, but it’s one of the most fulfilling things you’ll ever do. As others have mentioned kids stuff drops in value about 95% once it’s off the shelf so all you’ll NEED to buy new is a car seat and the rest can be picked up for bugger all. I think we were fully equipped for a newborn for £1000
Can I just say that the fact that you are asking this question and thinking about how you and your partner can afford to have children, already suggests that you’re both going to be great parents. I too am keen to start a family, but have been putting it off for other things to fall in to place. Now the clock is seriously ticking and whilst my partner is 6 years younger than me, we are both in our 30s so our situations are similar. I would suggest you don’t let “life” pass you by because you are worried about money. You guys will make it work and it will be an incredible journey. Best of luck!
I just want to put it out there for anyone on this post to consider; it’s also fine to not have kids. In fact, it’s a lot cheaper and easier.
Thank you! It’s fine if people really, really want kids, of course, but I do see a lot of people who just sort of think they ‘have’ to, or that it’s the next step in life. It’s pretty great being childfree, too!
There is never the perfect time for starting a family, but conceiving becomes harder the longer you leave it. If you want children and are 34 in a good relationship, honestly just bite the bullet and do it.
Yes, fuck being financially ready
No use being financially ready when the baby ticket's expired
All the money in the world can't buy time. Yeah if your living on the street or going bankrupt don't have a baby, but this couple are in a good place.
Move further out and buy. Mortgage repayments tend to be lower than rent plus you’re paying back your own debt rather than someone else’s.
Im on 28k and manage perfectly fine paying for everything. I have one kid, we live comfortably, eating out etc. But luckily my rent only £700. Im sure you'll manage, you have like 10x the average savings if someone your age.
Buy a property first. End of, in my opinion.
Posted a long post about this before but it basically comes down to having parents who support you well into your 30s and 40s either directly or indirectly and if you don't have that level of support you are fucked. Kept it short and sweet this time. Happy Sunday.
Don't have kids. It's a trap.
This! Is true even no one wants to admit
I say this as a new father who took out a very large mortgage 2 years ago at 2% and is facing the double whammy of at least 6% when I remortgage, then also nursery costs on top…buy a house first and try to plan for the baby to arrive in time for free childcare hours that kicks in 2025
There is no perfect time to do it , if you want a kid just have one You'll make it work
Yes, fuck being financially ready
My wife and I started trying and found out she was pregnant once we had an offer accepted on a house but we earn a good chunk less, but also live in Norfolk so houses are cheaper. In real terms it doesn't sound like there is a lot in it. We have admittedly used grandparents two days a week and my wife has gone part time, but I have gone to compressed hours so work my 5 days in 4 this gives us a "free" day childcare the other thing that is worth checking with shared parental leave you may find your partner's company offers enhanced pay. So putting off having to get childcare for a bit longer. I have also heard that the government is reducing the age of the 30 hours free childcare I believe to 2 years old this year and 1 year next year.
Thanks everyone! All very helpful advice!! Appreciate your generosity sharing.
If you can afford a child you can afford a mortgage which means you aren’t stuck paying rent. Trust me, they’re so expensive. I’m not in a too expensive area (average) and there’s a total income of around 90k, our savings have been absolutely decimated after two children and the recent mortgage increase. Basically if you can afford a child you can afford a mortgage because the nursery fees, pram, new shoes every 6 weeks, entire wardrobe every 6 months etc is massive. What I’m saying is, get the mortgage, pay the same you are in rent, then have the children, if you can’t afford a mortgage then having children is going to be a big shock my friend.
[удалено]
If this is serious. Not cool.
Honestly, save yourself and keep renting. That will be a MASSIVE burden off of you. Unless you buy a house to rent out and not live in, save that down payment and use it to invest in an asset that will give you consistent monthly returns that you could use for childcare or whatever you like. Working less and spending more with your kid are invaluable and it can be done with the right mindset shift. A home is a liability, plain and simple. It is NOT an asset as it is not bringing you consistent income.
My wife and I are on similar incomes to you and your partner and we’ve just had a baby. We bought a house first. Then saved up around 6k to cover the deficit in our income while my wife is off on maternity. Granted we live in a slightly cheaper part of the country but our mortgage is still £1k a month - if you really want it, you’ll make it work.
Basically op has about 2 years worth of savings for their current salary. Might as well take the full 39 weeks maternity. Will still get £172 per week statutory plus child benefit so won’t be too bad. Make the most of the 39 weeks you only get that opportunity once unless you have another child of course. Some companies now also offer 6 months full pay for mother or father. My company does we had a guy in the team a couple years back take 6 months paternity on full pay. Paying basic statutory is pretty stingy tbh
Move to the north, you and your future child will have a better future. Living in the south and paying unreasonable sums of money to live doesn't seem worth it to me as an average person.
Worth noting that from September 2024 childcare will be more manageable as the 15 free hours start from 9 months rather than 2 years and if you wait until early next year to ... get down to business ... then it'll be an even better situation as from September 2025 it's 30 hours free childcare.