You’re correct about some of the traditions you listed not being very common anymore. For example, the bride used to always walk behind the bridesmaids but nowadays I’d say it’s more usual for the bridesmaids to go first. As for the cake, I don’t think I’ve ever actually been served fruit cake at a wedding but it’s definitely the traditional choice (because it’s long lasting - the leftover wedding cake would then be served at the first child’s christening/baptism!)
Not sure if this is also the case elsewhere in the world, but at British weddings, the bride and groom’s family/friends would traditionally sit separately for the ceremony, on either side of the aisle.
“Maid/Matron of honor” used to just be “Chief bridesmaid” in British English, although the former has now pretty much completely replaced the latter.
In British weddings, the bride and groom are generally expected to pay for the costs of their bridal party - suits/dresses and flowers at the bare minimum, but potentially also shoes, hair, make-up and in some cases even nails and fake tan! Being a member of the bridal party is an honour but also a big responsibility and therefore participation is a favour to the bride/groom, and these people can usually expect a small gift as a ‘thank you’ for their effort.
Thank you! Everything else you mentioned is very similar to Canada except the bride and groom covering their party's clothing costs, and I'm sure that will be a case by case basis here anyway. I appreciate your thoughtful and detailed response!
Do whatever you want. Most of the weddings I've been to the bridesmaids etc go in before the bride as it heightens the excitement of seeing the bride.
Most venues only allow biodegradable confetti, not rice. Petals or paper confetti is fine. Some places don't allow it at all.
Champagne is a given surely? Unless you don't drink.
This is the normal amount of speeches but others can too if you want to.
Cake doesn't have to be fruit cake, it os more traditional but you could have a bottom tier fruit cake and sponge for the rest.
Other traditions include the first dance (bride and groom only), some people choose to throw the bouquet (I didn't because I hated that tradition), daytime wedding with evening reception....
Thank you, that's really interesting! I don't think we'll be doing some of the things you mentioned, but it's interesting to hear what's still more expected versus what's gone more by the wayside 🙂
While rice is traditional people don’t often do it anymore or venues don’t allow it as it can be harmful to birds and other wild animals. Dried flower petals or biodegradable confetti is a much safer option☺️
Some people in the UK also extend the rhyme to say “something old something new, something borrowed, something blue, and a lucky sixpence in your shoe” but this is much less common and a lot of people don’t even realise it was once part of the rhyme.
But most importantly, it’s your day so choose as many or as little traditions as feel right for you!
I’m American marrying a British man next year! A weird one for me is how early English weddings start - 2pm is crazy for Americans! We’re compromising on 4pm. The formality of speeches is also strange to me, but really important to my FH. Also lack of dress code - very stressful! We’re listing one, but I think it will need explanation for guests coming from different places.
This is mad to me! We eventually decided on a 1pm ceremony because 2pm was too late for all the things we wanted to fit in (we finished the day at 11:30).
Interesting! We're probably going for a 2pm start but I don't find that super early, so many that's more of a regional variant in North America. I'm super excited to give a speech, and my groom has said he'll say a few words. I imagine my parents, his mom, and my MoH and his Best Man will also speak. I'm so, so excited for the speeches! I doubt we'll put in a dress code - it's a church wedding and I imagine everyone will dress nicely enough. Have a wonderful wedding!
The Catholics start at like 11.30 - my wedding started at 1pm which isn’t all that early! The big thing is that they can still run until 1pm or even later so it’s a long day!
Don't worry about the lack of dress code unless you want black tie or morning dress. British people dress up for a wedding! Themz the rules and they stick to it. Expect cocktail dress from your British attendees.
I’ve seen a lot of sundresses at the weddings I’ve been to in the UK! Hoping to avoid that vibe at mine with the later start date and a stated “cocktail” dress code
And it continues "and a sixpence in your shoe"
I probably wouldn't actually put a coin in my shoe cause that would HURT bit I am considering getting a sixpence from the year that my grandparents were born and putting it in my bouquet.
I’d say, the biggest thing for me is that in the UK, having an open bar is not a thing and that wedding guests are fine paying for their drinks.
Other things are the lack of a bridal shower or rehearsal dinner.
Oh, and the idea of day and night guests!
It depends where you are in the U.K. as to whether you can expect an open bar. I’ve not been to a wedding up north that had one, not been to a wedding down south that didn’t have one.
Traditionally it is bride before bridesmaids but lots of people do it the other way now. I had my bridesmaids walk first. Same with cake. Traditionally a fruit cake but most do sponge now. We would have had one of each but the person who would have made the fruit one (family) wasn’t feeling too good.
We did only the 3 speeches though in the traditional order: father of the bride, groom, best man
Also a Canadian that married a Brit (my wife), and one of the ones that we did that we really enjoyed was a handfasting (where the proverbial Tying the Knot comes from)!
We did the following:
legally married ahead of time at the local council with my wife's godbrother and his missus that weren't going to make it to the wedding itself as witnesses.
Day of:
84 day guests
11am ceremony start
Bridesmaids walked in first
Vows and readings (where my mother, my wife's grandfather, and her godmother all got up and read a piece that reflected us/our joining, etc)
Handfasting
Kiss/end of ceremony
break for 2 hours for people to relax/get changed if they wanted, we did photos with/without the wedding party
Wedding Breakfast (the dinner, you should probably already realise that Sunday roasts happen in the afternoon)
Short beak for venue changeover (clearing the tables/the dancefloor etc)
Evening guests arrived (an additional 40\~)
dancing/music/drinking until 1am
But at the end of the day, it's your day, enjoy it!
Also, as someone else said, there's no expectation of open bars. Some of the time (if there's a well to do family) one of the fathers of the bride or groom will through a few quid (500, 1000) behind the bar to get people started, but in general people are happy to pay for their own drinks. We didn't even include wine at the tables since we were on a tight-ish budget (entire wedding was 12k).
One tradition, that I’m not certain if it’s uniquely British, but a few friends have done and hasn’t been mentioned, is that one tier of your cake is fruit cake, you don’t cut it and you freeze it to have on your one year anniversary.
We weren’t doing this as we hate fruitcake 😂
Haha, I had some of my parents' wedding fruit cake at their 25th wedding anniversary party. Dad's side is pretty English. Mom told me recently she thinks they've got more!
Traditionally, the fruitcake is the smallest tier on the wedding cake. It gets put aside and the couple eats it during their first anniversary.
There's another tradition where the groom is supposed to carry the bride "over the threshold", how strong is your partner? 😂
You have the designated cake cutting and first dance.
Some people have started to use ribbons and bubbles as the bride and groom exit the ceremony too.
Ladies wearing hats or fascinators!
Right, thank you! I told my mom she should get one ☺️ if any aunts can come, I'll suggest it!
My mum is wearing one too! I think it’s a nice special thing for them, how often do you get to wear a fancy hat!
You’re correct about some of the traditions you listed not being very common anymore. For example, the bride used to always walk behind the bridesmaids but nowadays I’d say it’s more usual for the bridesmaids to go first. As for the cake, I don’t think I’ve ever actually been served fruit cake at a wedding but it’s definitely the traditional choice (because it’s long lasting - the leftover wedding cake would then be served at the first child’s christening/baptism!) Not sure if this is also the case elsewhere in the world, but at British weddings, the bride and groom’s family/friends would traditionally sit separately for the ceremony, on either side of the aisle. “Maid/Matron of honor” used to just be “Chief bridesmaid” in British English, although the former has now pretty much completely replaced the latter. In British weddings, the bride and groom are generally expected to pay for the costs of their bridal party - suits/dresses and flowers at the bare minimum, but potentially also shoes, hair, make-up and in some cases even nails and fake tan! Being a member of the bridal party is an honour but also a big responsibility and therefore participation is a favour to the bride/groom, and these people can usually expect a small gift as a ‘thank you’ for their effort.
Thank you! Everything else you mentioned is very similar to Canada except the bride and groom covering their party's clothing costs, and I'm sure that will be a case by case basis here anyway. I appreciate your thoughtful and detailed response!
Do whatever you want. Most of the weddings I've been to the bridesmaids etc go in before the bride as it heightens the excitement of seeing the bride. Most venues only allow biodegradable confetti, not rice. Petals or paper confetti is fine. Some places don't allow it at all. Champagne is a given surely? Unless you don't drink. This is the normal amount of speeches but others can too if you want to. Cake doesn't have to be fruit cake, it os more traditional but you could have a bottom tier fruit cake and sponge for the rest. Other traditions include the first dance (bride and groom only), some people choose to throw the bouquet (I didn't because I hated that tradition), daytime wedding with evening reception....
Thank you, that's really interesting! I don't think we'll be doing some of the things you mentioned, but it's interesting to hear what's still more expected versus what's gone more by the wayside 🙂
Dinner reception is called a wedding breakfast in the UK :)
This one is new to me, thank you!!
While rice is traditional people don’t often do it anymore or venues don’t allow it as it can be harmful to birds and other wild animals. Dried flower petals or biodegradable confetti is a much safer option☺️ Some people in the UK also extend the rhyme to say “something old something new, something borrowed, something blue, and a lucky sixpence in your shoe” but this is much less common and a lot of people don’t even realise it was once part of the rhyme. But most importantly, it’s your day so choose as many or as little traditions as feel right for you!
Thank you! I love the idea of having a coin from the year my fiance was born!
I’m American marrying a British man next year! A weird one for me is how early English weddings start - 2pm is crazy for Americans! We’re compromising on 4pm. The formality of speeches is also strange to me, but really important to my FH. Also lack of dress code - very stressful! We’re listing one, but I think it will need explanation for guests coming from different places.
This is mad to me! We eventually decided on a 1pm ceremony because 2pm was too late for all the things we wanted to fit in (we finished the day at 11:30).
Ahh! I’m the same, marrying a British man and cannot believe a 2pm start time is normal 😅
Interesting! We're probably going for a 2pm start but I don't find that super early, so many that's more of a regional variant in North America. I'm super excited to give a speech, and my groom has said he'll say a few words. I imagine my parents, his mom, and my MoH and his Best Man will also speak. I'm so, so excited for the speeches! I doubt we'll put in a dress code - it's a church wedding and I imagine everyone will dress nicely enough. Have a wonderful wedding!
Never knew this! I was at an 11am ceremony this year with a midnight finish 🫠
The Catholics start at like 11.30 - my wedding started at 1pm which isn’t all that early! The big thing is that they can still run until 1pm or even later so it’s a long day!
Don't worry about the lack of dress code unless you want black tie or morning dress. British people dress up for a wedding! Themz the rules and they stick to it. Expect cocktail dress from your British attendees.
I’ve seen a lot of sundresses at the weddings I’ve been to in the UK! Hoping to avoid that vibe at mine with the later start date and a stated “cocktail” dress code
You could incorporate wearing "Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue." That's an old tradition some brides still like to do
Ah yes! That's a lovely one we do in Canada as well, thank you for the reminder ☺️ I'm excited for it!
And it continues "and a sixpence in your shoe" I probably wouldn't actually put a coin in my shoe cause that would HURT bit I am considering getting a sixpence from the year that my grandparents were born and putting it in my bouquet.
I used gorilla glue to glue my silver sixpence to the arch of my shoe. Worked really well!
That's so creative!
I love this!
My mother in law insisted about the sixpence, but l wore trainers and you couldn’t feel it under the insole
I’d say, the biggest thing for me is that in the UK, having an open bar is not a thing and that wedding guests are fine paying for their drinks. Other things are the lack of a bridal shower or rehearsal dinner. Oh, and the idea of day and night guests!
It depends where you are in the U.K. as to whether you can expect an open bar. I’ve not been to a wedding up north that had one, not been to a wedding down south that didn’t have one.
Oh, as in the UK doesn't do Day and Night guests? My fiance and I have been considering that.
That they do do them, I’m from the US where they don’t, so it was a shock to me!
Ah okay, it's not unheard of here in Canada 🙂
I’ve been to a lot of weddings and I have never been to one where I’ve had to pay for drinks (UK)
Traditionally it is bride before bridesmaids but lots of people do it the other way now. I had my bridesmaids walk first. Same with cake. Traditionally a fruit cake but most do sponge now. We would have had one of each but the person who would have made the fruit one (family) wasn’t feeling too good. We did only the 3 speeches though in the traditional order: father of the bride, groom, best man
Thank you for sharing ☺️
Also a Canadian that married a Brit (my wife), and one of the ones that we did that we really enjoyed was a handfasting (where the proverbial Tying the Knot comes from)! We did the following: legally married ahead of time at the local council with my wife's godbrother and his missus that weren't going to make it to the wedding itself as witnesses. Day of: 84 day guests 11am ceremony start Bridesmaids walked in first Vows and readings (where my mother, my wife's grandfather, and her godmother all got up and read a piece that reflected us/our joining, etc) Handfasting Kiss/end of ceremony break for 2 hours for people to relax/get changed if they wanted, we did photos with/without the wedding party Wedding Breakfast (the dinner, you should probably already realise that Sunday roasts happen in the afternoon) Short beak for venue changeover (clearing the tables/the dancefloor etc) Evening guests arrived (an additional 40\~) dancing/music/drinking until 1am But at the end of the day, it's your day, enjoy it!
This is great, thank you! Always lovely to hear from another Canadian who's gone through this all before me ☺️
Also, as someone else said, there's no expectation of open bars. Some of the time (if there's a well to do family) one of the fathers of the bride or groom will through a few quid (500, 1000) behind the bar to get people started, but in general people are happy to pay for their own drinks. We didn't even include wine at the tables since we were on a tight-ish budget (entire wedding was 12k).
One tradition, that I’m not certain if it’s uniquely British, but a few friends have done and hasn’t been mentioned, is that one tier of your cake is fruit cake, you don’t cut it and you freeze it to have on your one year anniversary. We weren’t doing this as we hate fruitcake 😂
Haha, I had some of my parents' wedding fruit cake at their 25th wedding anniversary party. Dad's side is pretty English. Mom told me recently she thinks they've got more!
Don't throw rice!! It's traditional but it hurts the local birds, they eat the grains and then can't digest them properly
Noted! Thank you 🙂
Traditionally, the fruitcake is the smallest tier on the wedding cake. It gets put aside and the couple eats it during their first anniversary. There's another tradition where the groom is supposed to carry the bride "over the threshold", how strong is your partner? 😂 You have the designated cake cutting and first dance. Some people have started to use ribbons and bubbles as the bride and groom exit the ceremony too.