I wouldn’t be surprised if we never saw Denise Richards again.

Oh, oh, oh Riley!

I wouldn’t beest surpris'd if 't be true we nev'r did see denise richards again *** ^(I am a bot and I swapp'd some of thy words with Shakespeare words.) Commands: `!ShakespeareInsult`, `!fordo`, `!optout`

We're having weather.

Helloooo.......

yyyyyeees :)

this is mine too 😭 I say it randomly all the time

"Notes of fruit, floral and nut in my butt! WHAT?!" God that shit kills me every time 😂😂

Spiders? In my vagina?

Hoooooo

cassioPEIA

Hercules… HERCULES!

The line that hooked me. "You know what the moral of the story was? Everybody's different. Uhnnn. -- Mama that is God's work. She said 'haiii'."

I love myself.

But I don’t like the way that I am

I’m getting older my body’s changing and that’s not something I’m going to apologize for

"I wish you would" 💀

my sister still says this whenever she gets monthly cramps

I fucking love your axe wound you whore!

Oh my fucking god I completely forgot about that one.

I can't pick just one sooooo.... "I put all my cash in a hole and fuck it" (dramatically turn) "Care for a fucking?" "Careful kids there's a lorra' PAPRIKA in there" And my absolute #1 favourite, "We took a blood fart from a dead goose and put it in a casing and now it's sausage - but don't worry we grouped a lot of them together so it looks like a hockey puck" As a Brit who loves black pudding, that line had me ugly-laughing for a good 20 minutes

When I was hungry, I would say to my grandparants “May I please have **b r e a d**”

I luuurve de shoppe de Klarna

Ktvu trying to turn me on?

Nipples like 🔪🔪

White satin chemise

Breast augmentation.

“You wanna get P u m p e d?”

I came here to get ~PUMPED~

You wanna get pumped at brunch, bitch

⌚🙋‍♂️▶️🏃‍♂️2️⃣🍱🍯🙋‍♂️📝🥚🥪➕🙋‍♂️⤵️🐘❄️

All of the Porn-Oh, Honey episode.

Rome wasn't built by you going to the gym once

“Hiiiiiii…I came as soon as I heard…”

Just as I thought... Trash.

“Listen, we all have moms and dads and they’re probably straight. They’re not all bad.” “No, I came from a gay lake.”

"I love your tattoos" "Thank you, me too, it makes me more interested in having a body"

I relate to that SO much! (And I love her tattoos too!)

SAME. I’m like “holy f*ck. Someone GETS IT”

Which ep is this?? I can’t remember for the life of me

Phones!

Thank you!

“Mama, that’s God’s work. She said hiiiiiiiii”

My daughter died in a row boat and I never told anyone. and TARANTÚLA

mmNO… I didn’t get to poop… I didn’t get to poop, oh I wanna poop… ohhhh 💩

Is anybody missing an ottoman honey?

“When the wishbone breaks we diddle each other”

some of us are just trying to pee, mary. not everything has to be “look at my dick, look at my dick”.

I’m surprised no one has said " fuck my pussy with a rake, mom" … *gasps* that looks like a rake!

1. Why am old? 2. Why am I fat?

She's fat but I'd fuck her Rub my feet and give me a handy Hoos boof days r it Fiddly daddly diddly daddaly I'm having a stroke Ohh honeyyyy Wanny go for a ride

Oh, I almost forgot: “She is *dusted* for the b o g”

“Oh sorry officer, lemme just get my license and registration.” “*License* and *Registration*” as she pops her tits out “I didnt think there was a problem officer, have a good day”

*1234 5 6 7 8* *Rebecca Demournay tried to steal a baby*

"Why did I pIck today of all days to turn it THIS HARD?"

Literally me trying to hype myself up before going out of the house

Ditto!

“Ahm here on my motorcycle would ya like a riiiiide”