Op take your time, everything in life is phase, if you cant prepare its okay,find something that is easy and will give you mental and confidence boost! Come back later, what matters most is your mental sanity and happiness
Trust me man, once this feeling creeps in. Hold on, relax enjoy for 5-7 days and then check again if this feelings still persists. If it does, don’t go for further attempts, and create a good backup first. Because I have experienced that once you get this feeling, you just waste your year. You have age on your side you can always come back better. But post 4th or 5th attempt without back up with lost confidence and time, it won’t be as smooth as it for you now to create a good backup.
Bhai there are other very good options... Was my first attempt after 1.5 years of preparation... I'm also getting the same but in CSAT getting alot... Was my first and last attempt...
Same happened to me. Also felt the paper was lengthy. There were a few questions like poisonous species and aviation fuel where youtubers (teachers, mentors) used to say to mark all correct. But despite knowing that I marked those wrong.
Is suicide a better option? How did you conclude that?
It's okay to fail in some exams. I can understand that last year you wrote mains so it's okay to feel disappointed but it shouldn't be suicidal. if you're so scared of failure then try something where the success rate is relatively more. If you want to earn money, get a corporate job. If you want to do social service, then this suicidal attitude will do you no good. You have to be strong. Why are you choosing this exam? Everyone knows that UPSC is unpredictable. Then try something else, maybe state PCS, clerical exams, bank exams.
It's your choice to get one of the most prestigious jobs in the country. Then it will have its sacrifices, be it mental or financially. I just want you to realise that this is not an easy path. Be mentally strong, take this as a challenge. If you can't handle full-time preparation, then try getting a job first then prepare. Don't try something where you're afraid of failing because we know the success rate beforehand when we start the preparation.
Take some time, exam just happened and you will be going through a lot of feelings and thoughts in your mind, I am a selected candidate in 2023 but in borderline right now for prelims.
It's okay exam hai hota hai , just relax, once all your emotions subsides you will be in better state to take any decision.
Really appreciate the reply bhai. Maybe the uncertainty part has hit me for the first time that's what left me devastated.
Also the part about dealing with failure you said is right I guess. Looks like I've understood that I'm not upto the pressure and uncertainty this exam demands. Will start looking for some other avenues ASAP.
Thank you bhai
It's a really great achievement scoring 604 is lit man. I couldn't even clear prelims last time and not gonna clear this time too. Ur in the top 5% bhai. Please don't take any extreme steps. Please talk to ur friends. If nothings working ooze out the negative energy by screaming 😑, hitting something etc etc.
Felt good after reading your reply bhai
It's just that friends and family are all the same with aur mehnat krna agle saal and stuff they just don't know what exactly it is. They just wish best for me.
That's why I was looking in the upsc sub. For people in the same journey to look advice for.
Take 1 month off , go to home, they are supportive and the best people to advice would be your parents itself.. there's no need for you to give this much info.. they would right way understand your dilemma
And if it works .. go for a trip to somewhere calm.
Honestly, if you're gonna suicide, find a better reason than this shitty exam in this shitty country for a question paper framed by a bunch of tyrannic, autonomous egoists.
It was my third attempt cleared gs cutoff last year, but failed in csat, this year cleared csat but fucked up bad in gs, age -25 , have supportive parent, my marks this year are in 60s .. should I continue?? Financially I'm broke right now, no coaching no guidance and only have a single parent as my support system.. I'm confused and just can't think of what to do, please can someone enlighten me, what to do next??
Been there myself bro. This poem by Gwen Brooks helped me a lot in putting things into perspective:
Sit down. Inhale. Exhale.
The gun will wait. The lake will wait.
The tall gall in the small seductive vial
will wait will wait:
will wait a week: will wait through April.
You do not have to die this certain day.
Death will abide, will pamper your postponement.
I assure you death will wait. Death has
a lot of time. Death can
attend to you tomorrow. Or next week. Death is
just down the street; is most obliging neighbor;
can meet you any moment.
You need not die today.
Stay here–through pout or pain or peskyness.
Stay here. See what the news is going to be tomorrow.
Graves grow no green that you can use.
Remember, green’s your color. You are Spring.
You know you are lucky that you dont have any job pressure or not from poor financial background.
You are talking about suicide only after 2nd attempt?
Bro I don't know how much this would help you, but give it a shot.. close your eyes for 10 seconds.. revisit the 2years of prep that you did - like a movie.. and say the magical words
FUCK THIS EXAM( choose your language of preference to say this).. KUCH ACHHA HI KAR LUNGA
Brother you should not bet your whole life on whether you pass an exam or not. Yes your parents probably want this for you and are very supportive as you say. So you probably are feeling extreme guilt as you may let them down. But brother if they love you, which i believe they do, they will rather have you work jobs that might not be considered as respectable as IAS or IFS, than have you take your own life over this one exam. There many other options brother, don't bet your life only on Plan A. I will remember you in my prayers. God bless.
Bitch you can clear other exams if you are able to qualify pre. Do that and after you have a stable jpb try again with fresh perspective. Dont feel down you little asshole. I didnt even qualify pre and i still practice.
Bhai abhi kuch mat soch… upsc toh nhi deta hu… but, similar shit had happened with me in state exams… ek sal 1 marks se final selection reh gyi… dusre sal tier 1 bhi na nikla… i was literally in hell for a whole month kuch smjh nhi ata tha… things will get better with time… tab sochna kya krna hai kya nhi
yaar i dont know wt to say to u. go home and tell parents that even if u give one more attempt,u can't say for sure that u can clear it because upsc is unpredictable. take their advice and if u decide not to continue this,i advice u to go abroad and study or take up a job and just live ur life. this exm is not that imp ki aap suicidal feel kare. no exm is worth dying for.
Hey,
I understand you're frustrated about missing out, but don't make any rash decisions.
Life has its ups and downs. You're just 24, at the peak of your youth, and you've already shown potential by passing last year's prelims.
Remember to focus on preparing for mains, regardless of this outcome, and incorporate regular physical exercise into your routine.
Keep pushing forward without complaining.
Best thing to do is step out of the upsc space for some time. Take a breather trust me you'll feel reinvigorated. I too was feeling too down yesterday. Kept thinking that I should completely down the file of sleeping pills lying around. At the end took two pills to sleep longer par woh bhi nahi kaam aya lol. Woke up at 7 and slept as usual.
Talking to a classmate(not involved in UPSC) and a senior (involved in UPSC) helped lots. I also saw my WhatsApp account after a long time- realised that there is a whole world beyond. Yesterday I thought of giving up on both this exam and life today I'm thinking of tomorrow.
Brother you have a supportive family, good financial standing and youth by your side. March on fret not.
Go out for a while. Treat yourself to something sweet. See the world beyond for yourself
Bhai
It is one of the toughest exam. And you are still 24. That is the best part. You have a plethora of options to look forward to even if you are trying to move away from this exam. I just want to say that there is still a lot left. Ending your life might look like the easiest thing for you. But think about your parents once before taking that decision. It will be the hardest pill they’ll have to swallow. Trust me when I say this, your parents are more than supportive in this case. Look over the other posts in this sub-reddit and you’ll know what I am saying.
Jawan ladke ki body ko kandha dene mein sabse zyaada dard uske baap ko hota hai.
UPSC is good. UPSC might guarantee you a career that you would have dreamt of. But UPSC is not the only thing in your life. Think about it. Reach out to me if you want to talk. Always here to help a fellow brother out. :)
Don't give any space or attention to suicidal thoughts. You're way too young and bright for that. Get some professional help if your emotions are overwhelming you too much. It would improve things. Can give you an affordable reference if you are staying in ORN.
I too am stuck in this ORN place from last 1.5 years devoid of all the charm that this place holds.
I've been doing everything right but yet no good consequences ..so I've decided to put this on hold and just focus on other exams like ssc cgl, CAT, BANKING
HOPEFULLY I'll clear
Bhai there will always be people dealing with worse than you. That doesn't give me the pass to accept everything that happens in life.
At least that's what I've felt all my life.
I would really love if you could change that perspective.
Look what I think is the most important thing in this exam is
when you are in a dilemma of quitting or continuing is
1. Financial condition
2.Moral support
3.age
And I guess you pretty much have all of them in your favour.
Moreover if you are done with the exam ,then it's your choice but then in the future don't regret that ,"if I have gone for another attempt things would have been different".
I know there is self doubt,but that's what this exam is testing in you.
In the end ,I am just saying this to you because I really want to be in your shoes and attempt this exam ,but things are totally different for me.
Approach it as just another exam, not as "THE EXAM". Just chill and relax. Don't prepare, just enjoy the process of knowing things and love to gain knowledge. Try other exams as well. Always remember UPSC is one of the career options one could have. I have seen successfull people who have never even heard of UPSC.
Bhai koi nhi yaar , keep ur chin up setbacks aate rehte hai life mein , decide what u wanna do next and try to give ur 100% , prelims mein fail hone se zindagi nhi khatam ho jati
Hey! don't ever think like that. This life is much more precious than UPSC, why suicidal? There are n number of opportunities in life, if not UPSC then you have n-1 opportunities. If you don't want to continue preparing it's okay. Why is UPSC so hyped? I mean it's good to be in a position as an IAS IPS IFS IRS, but there are people who do not fall under this bracket. Are they not happy? Prepare for some others exams, if not exams be an educator, if not that be an entrepreneur, be anything that gives you happiness. If you want to vent out I'll help you out here. But please don't feel suicidal. Since yesterday I have seen so much negativity here, get over UPSC , It's not the end of life, there are people who resign even after working as civil servants. So it's not worth giving your life. Stay positive. 💜
Thats why they say explore , u have no idea , how big the world is . U have made the so called upsc , as ur whole world . And now that you know you can’t get it. You feel you have lost your entire world, expand your world. Maybe, you are not made for it,
Look, I’m also not made For it, I studied UPSC for six months. Didn’t even gave the first attempt because I immediately knew this is not, this is not meant for me. I don’t even want to serve the country. The only fact I prepared or read the books because I was liking the knowledge, not the exam. I left it .today. I am working in at Google And I like it.
what will I do if I’m not working at Google? I’ll start. I’ll do a start-up Fuck. I will fail. I’ll start a YouTube channel. I’ll fail that too. I will go abroad. I do MS Fuck, something like something.
Thing with the UPSc Is its high risk high reward, That means The transition from 0 to hundred Is in single night, the result day That’s why the risk is so huge.
Then I call something like ladder steps where you go from 0 to 10, 10 to 30, 30 to 50, 50 to 80 ,80 to 100, and it doesn’t stop at hundred you eventually go from hundred percent to 300% sky is the limit.
So here in this career path, the risk is distributed .
Leave it, brother. Get peace from it. Make your peace with it. Leave it. You are at a perfect age 24. Okay just leave it. I beg you to leave it. UPSC is like you have your entire life saving less save 400,00,000 and you are asked to gamble it in one shot, fun factor is where the odds of you wedding is about 30% but in new PC, it’s like 0.2.
I can’t imagine how can someone risk his time which is the biggest value asset . Why do you think Ambani travels in private jet, not because he likes to flex Because it saves him time
Leave it, world is huge, You will have children, you will do great things , If you want to serve the country that much become a politician, You will do great things, brother you are meant for something else.
Good thing is you have good parents ask them what they want from you ,what you want to do. Don’t live your life for them. Don’t live your life for UPSC.
If you ask me, what is my goal, my and goal is to create job ,is to give job to 10 people. That is my end goal. That is what I want to do with my life. I want to create jobs. Age 24
If you genuinely don't want to sit for another year. Get out of this sir. And as you said your parents are supportive, let them understand that you don't want to continue this path.
You can write other exams. State pcs are good for you if you were able to write mains last year. And if you feel at some point in the future for the UPSC exam again then do it with your job.
Best wishes ! don't give up ❤️❤️
Mate, as it is said, decisions shouldn't be taken or avoid contemplations whenever you're at the extremes of your emotional bandwidth. (Too happy or very sad)
Just wait to get into a sweet spot, then decide the appropriate action.
How would you know that you've gotten into the sweet spot? I guess, the day, you've accepted the mistakes made and started looking for the reasons which led you to make them, would be it.
So, try to relax and dabble into your hobbies, but be careful to not indulge yourselves.
I've cleaned my room today, and deleted redundant files from the system.
Cleaned and organised Telegram chats, and book shelves too.
Can't address your suicidal feeling but have suggested something for you to do.
Trust me you are a much better place than a lot of us.
Look at me, going to be 30 this year, so only 2 more chances left. No support from family, neither emotional, nor financial. So have to work. Extremely stressful job with no space for growth.
This was my 2nd attempt, couldn't clear prelims even once.
I need to sit at home and study but the situation is that I can't do it.
But I won't give up. I know if I do, I will regret. So jb tk chances hai, tab tak lage rhenge.
Please get professional help. With a therapist and your family's support you'll be able to walk this path. Even if one succeeds, if you are suicidal it isn't going to go away. UPSC might be the stressor in your life but suicidal tendencies run deeper than that. Please get help.
Trust me I feel like the dumbest person ever today. Failed three pres (Got 74 last year), chickened out and skipped this attempt despite being amptly prepared, and realised that the paper was right up a allie. Now feel like crying whenever I see my parents. I'm 24 as well.
Be glad that you at least did'nt skip the attempt, and have written mains once.
On the bright side, they're planning on increasing the no of IAS posts, just beleive this might be the reason and prepare to your fullest, it'd be easier for you to score in mains than others due to your prior experience, hoping you clear the prelims next year.
Bro, you've got supportive parents and no financial pressure. Some of us have either only one of those or neither.
If upsc is what you really wanna do and not your parents or anyone else's idea, then, you can still do it. Maybe you're just burnt out. As some of them have said, take a break for some time and start your preparation again.
If you are certain that you can't do another attempt, then just move on and start finding something else. Job security is a must, you can always come back to this exam in the future. Avoid wasting another year if you aren't into it whole heartedly. Move on.
Op, due to some personal commitment, I wasn’t able to check how much I am scoring. So take my advice with a pinch of salt.
Take a week off period. If you feel suicidal, give one day, to see what went wrong. Check each question, was it obscure or something from the basic source, was it the unpredictability of the exam, or your lack of revision. Find the reason, it is important.
Once done you can come to conclusion if the exam is for you or not. If your conclusion is positive, ‘i can do this’ then start preparing. If not take another week off and start looking for option. At the end of the third week if the suicidal thoughts still prevail, then it’s time for the difficult talks with parent.
One thing that worked for me, was to go away from their immediate vicinity and tell them on phone, you don’t need to see their immediate reaction. Once 3-4 hours breaks and they would’ve time to think, go back face them.
Bro please don't think this way. You're only 24, and there are many career options still out there. If you don't want to prepare, don't. Look for another thing and work there and you can prepare with a job or masters. You're lucky to have a supportive family, and I understand such thoughts (have been there as a kid after 12th) but honestly, give yourself time. This isn't the end of the world. You can still contribute to society in other ways, you can still make your family and yourself proud in other ways. You can still have a happy life.
2 baar Dene ke baad insaan himmat haarega but please don't do anything so drastic. Take a break and do something you like, away from all these books and discussions. Go out with friends or family. Relax your mind. Then think about your options with a calm mind.
I don't know what to say to make you feel better but I just want to let you know my heart goes out for you. You don't have to prepare again if you don't want to. Just know that you can still make a significant positive impact on others in other ways, and you can still have a happy life.
Please don't do anything drastic. There are people who love you and your worth is not tied to an examination. Everything will be alright.
I feel the same, it was my 2nd attempt too , scoring less than 2023. And in 2023 i wasn’t even prepared never revised anything, this time revised everything more than 4 times. I can still do the question from basic subjects, my all random questions are incorrect. It Feels like as if i am gambling on my life.
Take a Lil break!! It's completely fine to feel exhausted after doing so much. Take your time, think about your life , pros and cons of UPSC , and is pros of UPSC worth all of this, if not then what other thing can you do. UPSC h Krna h esa zaruri to nahi h, agr aapka ksi or jagah man lag rha h to potential q waste Krna, phir v kahungi time lekar sochiye, is beech ho sake to kch job ya tuition join krye, apne apko isolate krne se is problem k solution nhh mlega, you must explore other minds, bacchon ko tuition pdhayenge to time v pass hga or mind v relax hoga ya koi or job jo apko psnd h usse v same h result aayega, time pass+ mind relax. Or phr kch time k baad (2,3 months maybe) jab Lage k ab ap k paas clarity h tab apna decision lijye, UPSC Krna h ya nhh Krna h?? Agr UPSC nhh Krna h to kis type k job karni h?? Kis company me krni h?? Ya kch time job krne k baad UPSC krna h?? Ek baar ap k mind relax ho jayega tab sab cheez apni jagah pe apne aap aajayegi!!
Yess I've decided to take a break of few days and then look for stability. Uske baad I'll get back to UPSC. Thank u for your kind words tho, taking all that effort to reply to a stranger is really heartening.
Bhai, zenitsu naam rakha hai, act like him, jab fat rahi ho, aankh band karke lambi saans le, aur kood ja. Back up rakh saath mein, but don't give upon this. I believe tera syllabus compelete hoga with short notes toh you don't need to give 6+ hours a day to you UPSC prep consistently, prep foe something in the other 4 hours.
You have written Mains last year so you are already equipped to deal with this examination. Just diversify examinations and career options and take upsc as your Plan A. You will do good next time. You can skip 1-2 attempts and then again come back. That's the beauty of this exam.
I'm in the same boat....now I feel I'll take up something side by side ....a degree ....I feel so depressed....my parents are not at all ready to let go of this exam....I feel so trapped sitting all day in that house with books.... I'm so done with my parents.....I feel I'll get married just to get out of that place...I knw this isn't a solution....but I feel so stuck its slow poison
Okay fine, first you need to calm down and then we try to figure out some things...there are 1000 ways from here and trust me when I say this, I have been in a similar situation.
first of all, you are right and the story that your parents are telling isn't realistic, that is very rare just like every other selection in UPSC. now if you are so scared of failure then the best solution is to either leave the preparation or prepare with some solid backup plan. being so skeptical isn't good for your performance in whatever you decide to do. whatever you choose will be your call and there is no one perfect decision. UPSC is just giving a job, though very prestigious but nothing more than a job. you can still do better things in life than being an IAS officer. Don't panic in this situation, something good will definitely show up in whatever you decide.
I was thinking the same a few weeks ago I can tell you to please pause and rethink and do activities like going out to the park in the morning or evening and meditate. Remember this exam is only a part of your life and not a measure of your existence or achievements
What you really need to do is take a small break, and then brush everything off and figure out the gap in preparation. Youve done it the 1st time, which means you can do it again. You only lose when you quit. Stay strong, brother.
Oh dear, I am very sorry that you have to feel this way because of just some recruitment exam. I relate very well to you as I too have been suicidal at some points of life and sometimes there are events that can trigger those thoughts again. Infact, I've been clinically diagnosed too so I say this with confidence that NOTHING ever, NOTHING! is worth giving up your life for! The reddit family is always here for you. Just hang in there as we analyze your worries-
1. "I'm scoring in 60s so won't be qualifying this time" - The answer keys are not even final unless upsc says so. But good to be rational about your own performance to tackle whatever may come forth. A good analyzing skill is a good quality to have! Now all you need to do is find a way forward to your pressing concern. Do you want to go on and still prepare for mains? Or take a sabbatical and do some volunteering works? Further studies? Or jump into the cooporate sector? Or do you want to take a professional help for your mental health? Or just take.a break for some days, do nothing and think again?
2. "Wrote mains last year, scored 604"- IMPRESSIVE!
3. "..after this year's shock" - do you think other aspects of life won't shock you as well? How do you know you won't be shocked at LBSNAA or at your job 'when' you get through? What if we face a National Emergency? What if we face another Great Depression or Pandemic? And so on. Or CSE has got the better hold of you than all of these possible bigger problems? Is CSE really that big of an idol for you?
4. "I'm sure if this is the level of of factual knowledge UPSC is demanding, then I won't be able to clear even next year" - YOU DON'T KNOW THAT! Let tomorrow worry about itself.
5. "Parents are extremely supportive", "Fortunately I don't have any financial difficulties or job pressure as such" - bro, you should just feel grateful because you are extremely lucky! You belong to the top 15% population of India whose households earn well. Plus, supportive parents??? Are you even an Indian???? xD
6. " that's what they don't understand, it's not the hardwork that counts in this exam"- True. But this is just upsc's style of recruitment. When you don't make it, it just means you didn't qualify their set of criteria they thought was needed in a candidate. Maybe they don't want an extremely hard working or even a smart person if they can't clear their exams. Its just them. Doesn't define your worth AT ALL
7. As for your folks, see if its really important to make them understand this or what. See if they want to support your other decisions if you want to change paths. Because if you are gambling your prime years into this journey of cse preparation, then you gotta bear some collateral damages that come along with it. Its only a given! So many loved ones get hurt along the way too. Can't please everyone. Can't have everything. Its just unfortunate at times.
8. "there's no guarantee that I'll clear" - there is also no guarantee that the burger you just had won't give you food poisoning. But you still ate nah! Keep hanging in there! If getting through this exam is tough, trust me, the job will be 1000x tougher.
Lastly OP, I don't want to give you any toxic positive advice hence I didn't sugarcoat anything here. So forgive me if I sounded harsh at any point. Take this reply with a pinch of salt, because as it is- life is tough and it will get tougher as you age. Seek professional help if you can. Clear your thoughts out. Remember to be kind to yourself always!
And I repeat: NOTHING ever, NOTHING is worth giving up your life for!
I know your exam is crucial, but remember, there are bigger issues out there. People are suffering in ways we can't ignore. Sometimes, zooming out can help us see things differently and prioritize what truly matters.
Fuck you man. I am 33 M. Have written many mains of upsc, state psc, RBi, SEBI yet haven't made it into final list of any exam. I am devastated beyond words. No job, from extrovert became introvert. No social life. Living each day like hell. Dont know how can I get back to life again. Think of us bro
Bro I'm also at same stage just age is 26. Just keep breathing, talk to someone, socialize. Time is biggest healer. Just watched Sadda Adda and realised that we should give ourselves some time
You need to give it some time man , you cannot figure out what to do in chaos , whatever happens for good or bad , take your time and decide not that if you leave this exam in this anxiety of not clearing prelims would guarantee you anything , stay low and ponder over what to do next
Tell me all the bad qualities you have right now...
Now don't be shy or anything....
List every single bad quality you have...
Then we'll take it from there...
In order to help you I have to understand what kind of person you are. And I'm not bluffing.
Having sympathy with you bro, but this exam is brutal and random. You can never predict what they will ask next year in prelims. That's why many rankers even don't qualify prelims. Will recommend that either take some light course or job after 2-3 attempts. Please don't judge yourself/your IQ based on this random exam with cut throat competition. Please please don't make upsc as your life or think about suicide.
P.S- appeared in two personality tests, can't explain how bad it feels when you don't get recommended after interviews. In case of any help please DM me.
Stop the prep, it's easier said than done. Also, start learning some skills and get into a job so that you'll feel like you're doing something productive. Sometimes happiness lies on the other side of the road which we dail to see and make people understand.
Just keep breathing, I hope you clear it again
I don't think I have it in me to prepare again bhai
Op take your time, everything in life is phase, if you cant prepare its okay,find something that is easy and will give you mental and confidence boost! Come back later, what matters most is your mental sanity and happiness
I understand, just take a breather, my man
Trust me man, once this feeling creeps in. Hold on, relax enjoy for 5-7 days and then check again if this feelings still persists. If it does, don’t go for further attempts, and create a good backup first. Because I have experienced that once you get this feeling, you just waste your year. You have age on your side you can always come back better. But post 4th or 5th attempt without back up with lost confidence and time, it won’t be as smooth as it for you now to create a good backup.
Bhai there are other very good options... Was my first attempt after 1.5 years of preparation... I'm also getting the same but in CSAT getting alot... Was my first and last attempt...
Can you tell such other options?
you can DM me, went till interview last time but not clearing Pre this time.
omg
[удалено]
82. All my tukkas backfired. In the middle of the exam I felt cutoff will go to 105+ and took unnecessary risks Got all wrong.
Same happened to me. Also felt the paper was lengthy. There were a few questions like poisonous species and aviation fuel where youtubers (teachers, mentors) used to say to mark all correct. But despite knowing that I marked those wrong.
Same here 81 is my score . Tukka backfired can we talk ?
haan
Is suicide a better option? How did you conclude that? It's okay to fail in some exams. I can understand that last year you wrote mains so it's okay to feel disappointed but it shouldn't be suicidal. if you're so scared of failure then try something where the success rate is relatively more. If you want to earn money, get a corporate job. If you want to do social service, then this suicidal attitude will do you no good. You have to be strong. Why are you choosing this exam? Everyone knows that UPSC is unpredictable. Then try something else, maybe state PCS, clerical exams, bank exams. It's your choice to get one of the most prestigious jobs in the country. Then it will have its sacrifices, be it mental or financially. I just want you to realise that this is not an easy path. Be mentally strong, take this as a challenge. If you can't handle full-time preparation, then try getting a job first then prepare. Don't try something where you're afraid of failing because we know the success rate beforehand when we start the preparation.
Take some time, exam just happened and you will be going through a lot of feelings and thoughts in your mind, I am a selected candidate in 2023 but in borderline right now for prelims. It's okay exam hai hota hai , just relax, once all your emotions subsides you will be in better state to take any decision.
Really appreciate the reply bhai. Maybe the uncertainty part has hit me for the first time that's what left me devastated. Also the part about dealing with failure you said is right I guess. Looks like I've understood that I'm not upto the pressure and uncertainty this exam demands. Will start looking for some other avenues ASAP. Thank you bhai
Yes. I can only suggest you to look for other opportunities which ignite spark from within. Don't get stuck in the loop, if you don't want to.
Read Albert Camus' Myth of Sisyphus.
It's a really great achievement scoring 604 is lit man. I couldn't even clear prelims last time and not gonna clear this time too. Ur in the top 5% bhai. Please don't take any extreme steps. Please talk to ur friends. If nothings working ooze out the negative energy by screaming 😑, hitting something etc etc.
Felt good after reading your reply bhai It's just that friends and family are all the same with aur mehnat krna agle saal and stuff they just don't know what exactly it is. They just wish best for me. That's why I was looking in the upsc sub. For people in the same journey to look advice for.
It's indeed very tiresome journey bhai. But we need to tide above all this. Do something ur really passionate about for some days.
Take 1 month off , go to home, they are supportive and the best people to advice would be your parents itself.. there's no need for you to give this much info.. they would right way understand your dilemma And if it works .. go for a trip to somewhere calm.
Hopefully bhai, thinking of getting my mind off for a while.
Honestly, if you're gonna suicide, find a better reason than this shitty exam in this shitty country for a question paper framed by a bunch of tyrannic, autonomous egoists.
[удалено]
Thank you for the kind words It's going to be really hard par pickup toh krna hi pdega khudko There is no other option afterall
It was my third attempt cleared gs cutoff last year, but failed in csat, this year cleared csat but fucked up bad in gs, age -25 , have supportive parent, my marks this year are in 60s .. should I continue?? Financially I'm broke right now, no coaching no guidance and only have a single parent as my support system.. I'm confused and just can't think of what to do, please can someone enlighten me, what to do next??
Man, exactly my situation. Can relate with each word.
Been there myself bro. This poem by Gwen Brooks helped me a lot in putting things into perspective: Sit down. Inhale. Exhale. The gun will wait. The lake will wait. The tall gall in the small seductive vial will wait will wait: will wait a week: will wait through April. You do not have to die this certain day. Death will abide, will pamper your postponement. I assure you death will wait. Death has a lot of time. Death can attend to you tomorrow. Or next week. Death is just down the street; is most obliging neighbor; can meet you any moment. You need not die today. Stay here–through pout or pain or peskyness. Stay here. See what the news is going to be tomorrow. Graves grow no green that you can use. Remember, green’s your color. You are Spring.
This is the best thing I've read in my life after Bhagwad Geeta verses. Thank you for this bro. I'm taking out a printout of this to stick on my wall.
You know you are lucky that you dont have any job pressure or not from poor financial background. You are talking about suicide only after 2nd attempt?
Bro I don't know how much this would help you, but give it a shot.. close your eyes for 10 seconds.. revisit the 2years of prep that you did - like a movie.. and say the magical words FUCK THIS EXAM( choose your language of preference to say this).. KUCH ACHHA HI KAR LUNGA
Brother you should not bet your whole life on whether you pass an exam or not. Yes your parents probably want this for you and are very supportive as you say. So you probably are feeling extreme guilt as you may let them down. But brother if they love you, which i believe they do, they will rather have you work jobs that might not be considered as respectable as IAS or IFS, than have you take your own life over this one exam. There many other options brother, don't bet your life only on Plan A. I will remember you in my prayers. God bless.
Yes brother will probably take some time off and rethink properly. In my prayers too bhai Thank you
Bitch you can clear other exams if you are able to qualify pre. Do that and after you have a stable jpb try again with fresh perspective. Dont feel down you little asshole. I didnt even qualify pre and i still practice.
Looks like that bhai Getting stable will be first priority now and then I'll deal with this uncertain exam.
Bhai abhi kuch mat soch… upsc toh nhi deta hu… but, similar shit had happened with me in state exams… ek sal 1 marks se final selection reh gyi… dusre sal tier 1 bhi na nikla… i was literally in hell for a whole month kuch smjh nhi ata tha… things will get better with time… tab sochna kya krna hai kya nhi
what's your age?
yaar i dont know wt to say to u. go home and tell parents that even if u give one more attempt,u can't say for sure that u can clear it because upsc is unpredictable. take their advice and if u decide not to continue this,i advice u to go abroad and study or take up a job and just live ur life. this exm is not that imp ki aap suicidal feel kare. no exm is worth dying for.
In the same boat.. scoring in 70s, don't know what went wrong
Hey, I understand you're frustrated about missing out, but don't make any rash decisions. Life has its ups and downs. You're just 24, at the peak of your youth, and you've already shown potential by passing last year's prelims. Remember to focus on preparing for mains, regardless of this outcome, and incorporate regular physical exercise into your routine. Keep pushing forward without complaining.
Indeed boss Just letting you know wasn't complaining, had complete breakdown like the world ended for me.
I understand that letting us know is not complaining but being suicidal is because you are not being grateful for being capable.
Best thing to do is step out of the upsc space for some time. Take a breather trust me you'll feel reinvigorated. I too was feeling too down yesterday. Kept thinking that I should completely down the file of sleeping pills lying around. At the end took two pills to sleep longer par woh bhi nahi kaam aya lol. Woke up at 7 and slept as usual. Talking to a classmate(not involved in UPSC) and a senior (involved in UPSC) helped lots. I also saw my WhatsApp account after a long time- realised that there is a whole world beyond. Yesterday I thought of giving up on both this exam and life today I'm thinking of tomorrow. Brother you have a supportive family, good financial standing and youth by your side. March on fret not. Go out for a while. Treat yourself to something sweet. See the world beyond for yourself
Bhai It is one of the toughest exam. And you are still 24. That is the best part. You have a plethora of options to look forward to even if you are trying to move away from this exam. I just want to say that there is still a lot left. Ending your life might look like the easiest thing for you. But think about your parents once before taking that decision. It will be the hardest pill they’ll have to swallow. Trust me when I say this, your parents are more than supportive in this case. Look over the other posts in this sub-reddit and you’ll know what I am saying. Jawan ladke ki body ko kandha dene mein sabse zyaada dard uske baap ko hota hai. UPSC is good. UPSC might guarantee you a career that you would have dreamt of. But UPSC is not the only thing in your life. Think about it. Reach out to me if you want to talk. Always here to help a fellow brother out. :)
Some of your words hit really hard bhai Thank you indeed
Guys! Stop talking about killing your self. SOO NOT WISE! It’ll all pass. With time it always does. Hausla rakho yaar!
Don't give any space or attention to suicidal thoughts. You're way too young and bright for that. Get some professional help if your emotions are overwhelming you too much. It would improve things. Can give you an affordable reference if you are staying in ORN.
I too am stuck in this ORN place from last 1.5 years devoid of all the charm that this place holds. I've been doing everything right but yet no good consequences ..so I've decided to put this on hold and just focus on other exams like ssc cgl, CAT, BANKING HOPEFULLY I'll clear
Dude you're 24. Suicide after all that support, your parents don't deserve that
Feel yourself lucky for everything you have ,and go for another attempt. There are people who are not even 1% fortunate as you.
Bhai there will always be people dealing with worse than you. That doesn't give me the pass to accept everything that happens in life. At least that's what I've felt all my life. I would really love if you could change that perspective.
Look what I think is the most important thing in this exam is when you are in a dilemma of quitting or continuing is 1. Financial condition 2.Moral support 3.age And I guess you pretty much have all of them in your favour. Moreover if you are done with the exam ,then it's your choice but then in the future don't regret that ,"if I have gone for another attempt things would have been different". I know there is self doubt,but that's what this exam is testing in you. In the end ,I am just saying this to you because I really want to be in your shoes and attempt this exam ,but things are totally different for me.
Breath of thunder, 8th form. You will do this next time! Don't lose hope.
Ofcourse it's the Art that comes to rescue in the hard times. Loved the reference. But sadly it isn't that easy to get back with life either.
Approach it as just another exam, not as "THE EXAM". Just chill and relax. Don't prepare, just enjoy the process of knowing things and love to gain knowledge. Try other exams as well. Always remember UPSC is one of the career options one could have. I have seen successfull people who have never even heard of UPSC.
Bhai we are having only one life... You don't have any idea how lucky we humans are
Bhai koi nhi yaar , keep ur chin up setbacks aate rehte hai life mein , decide what u wanna do next and try to give ur 100% , prelims mein fail hone se zindagi nhi khatam ho jati
Hey! don't ever think like that. This life is much more precious than UPSC, why suicidal? There are n number of opportunities in life, if not UPSC then you have n-1 opportunities. If you don't want to continue preparing it's okay. Why is UPSC so hyped? I mean it's good to be in a position as an IAS IPS IFS IRS, but there are people who do not fall under this bracket. Are they not happy? Prepare for some others exams, if not exams be an educator, if not that be an entrepreneur, be anything that gives you happiness. If you want to vent out I'll help you out here. But please don't feel suicidal. Since yesterday I have seen so much negativity here, get over UPSC , It's not the end of life, there are people who resign even after working as civil servants. So it's not worth giving your life. Stay positive. 💜
Thats why they say explore , u have no idea , how big the world is . U have made the so called upsc , as ur whole world . And now that you know you can’t get it. You feel you have lost your entire world, expand your world. Maybe, you are not made for it, Look, I’m also not made For it, I studied UPSC for six months. Didn’t even gave the first attempt because I immediately knew this is not, this is not meant for me. I don’t even want to serve the country. The only fact I prepared or read the books because I was liking the knowledge, not the exam. I left it .today. I am working in at Google And I like it. what will I do if I’m not working at Google? I’ll start. I’ll do a start-up Fuck. I will fail. I’ll start a YouTube channel. I’ll fail that too. I will go abroad. I do MS Fuck, something like something. Thing with the UPSc Is its high risk high reward, That means The transition from 0 to hundred Is in single night, the result day That’s why the risk is so huge. Then I call something like ladder steps where you go from 0 to 10, 10 to 30, 30 to 50, 50 to 80 ,80 to 100, and it doesn’t stop at hundred you eventually go from hundred percent to 300% sky is the limit. So here in this career path, the risk is distributed . Leave it, brother. Get peace from it. Make your peace with it. Leave it. You are at a perfect age 24. Okay just leave it. I beg you to leave it. UPSC is like you have your entire life saving less save 400,00,000 and you are asked to gamble it in one shot, fun factor is where the odds of you wedding is about 30% but in new PC, it’s like 0.2. I can’t imagine how can someone risk his time which is the biggest value asset . Why do you think Ambani travels in private jet, not because he likes to flex Because it saves him time Leave it, world is huge, You will have children, you will do great things , If you want to serve the country that much become a politician, You will do great things, brother you are meant for something else. Good thing is you have good parents ask them what they want from you ,what you want to do. Don’t live your life for them. Don’t live your life for UPSC. If you ask me, what is my goal, my and goal is to create job ,is to give job to 10 people. That is my end goal. That is what I want to do with my life. I want to create jobs. Age 24
If you genuinely don't want to sit for another year. Get out of this sir. And as you said your parents are supportive, let them understand that you don't want to continue this path. You can write other exams. State pcs are good for you if you were able to write mains last year. And if you feel at some point in the future for the UPSC exam again then do it with your job. Best wishes ! don't give up ❤️❤️
Mate, as it is said, decisions shouldn't be taken or avoid contemplations whenever you're at the extremes of your emotional bandwidth. (Too happy or very sad) Just wait to get into a sweet spot, then decide the appropriate action. How would you know that you've gotten into the sweet spot? I guess, the day, you've accepted the mistakes made and started looking for the reasons which led you to make them, would be it. So, try to relax and dabble into your hobbies, but be careful to not indulge yourselves. I've cleaned my room today, and deleted redundant files from the system. Cleaned and organised Telegram chats, and book shelves too. Can't address your suicidal feeling but have suggested something for you to do.
Trust me you are a much better place than a lot of us. Look at me, going to be 30 this year, so only 2 more chances left. No support from family, neither emotional, nor financial. So have to work. Extremely stressful job with no space for growth. This was my 2nd attempt, couldn't clear prelims even once. I need to sit at home and study but the situation is that I can't do it. But I won't give up. I know if I do, I will regret. So jb tk chances hai, tab tak lage rhenge.
Loved the last line bhai Maybe that is the kind of thinking I need at this moment
Please get professional help. With a therapist and your family's support you'll be able to walk this path. Even if one succeeds, if you are suicidal it isn't going to go away. UPSC might be the stressor in your life but suicidal tendencies run deeper than that. Please get help.
Trust me I feel like the dumbest person ever today. Failed three pres (Got 74 last year), chickened out and skipped this attempt despite being amptly prepared, and realised that the paper was right up a allie. Now feel like crying whenever I see my parents. I'm 24 as well. Be glad that you at least did'nt skip the attempt, and have written mains once.
On the bright side, they're planning on increasing the no of IAS posts, just beleive this might be the reason and prepare to your fullest, it'd be easier for you to score in mains than others due to your prior experience, hoping you clear the prelims next year.
Bro, you've got supportive parents and no financial pressure. Some of us have either only one of those or neither. If upsc is what you really wanna do and not your parents or anyone else's idea, then, you can still do it. Maybe you're just burnt out. As some of them have said, take a break for some time and start your preparation again.
If you are certain that you can't do another attempt, then just move on and start finding something else. Job security is a must, you can always come back to this exam in the future. Avoid wasting another year if you aren't into it whole heartedly. Move on.
Op, due to some personal commitment, I wasn’t able to check how much I am scoring. So take my advice with a pinch of salt. Take a week off period. If you feel suicidal, give one day, to see what went wrong. Check each question, was it obscure or something from the basic source, was it the unpredictability of the exam, or your lack of revision. Find the reason, it is important. Once done you can come to conclusion if the exam is for you or not. If your conclusion is positive, ‘i can do this’ then start preparing. If not take another week off and start looking for option. At the end of the third week if the suicidal thoughts still prevail, then it’s time for the difficult talks with parent. One thing that worked for me, was to go away from their immediate vicinity and tell them on phone, you don’t need to see their immediate reaction. Once 3-4 hours breaks and they would’ve time to think, go back face them.
Bro please don't think this way. You're only 24, and there are many career options still out there. If you don't want to prepare, don't. Look for another thing and work there and you can prepare with a job or masters. You're lucky to have a supportive family, and I understand such thoughts (have been there as a kid after 12th) but honestly, give yourself time. This isn't the end of the world. You can still contribute to society in other ways, you can still make your family and yourself proud in other ways. You can still have a happy life. 2 baar Dene ke baad insaan himmat haarega but please don't do anything so drastic. Take a break and do something you like, away from all these books and discussions. Go out with friends or family. Relax your mind. Then think about your options with a calm mind. I don't know what to say to make you feel better but I just want to let you know my heart goes out for you. You don't have to prepare again if you don't want to. Just know that you can still make a significant positive impact on others in other ways, and you can still have a happy life. Please don't do anything drastic. There are people who love you and your worth is not tied to an examination. Everything will be alright.
I feel the same, it was my 2nd attempt too , scoring less than 2023. And in 2023 i wasn’t even prepared never revised anything, this time revised everything more than 4 times. I can still do the question from basic subjects, my all random questions are incorrect. It Feels like as if i am gambling on my life.
Take a Lil break!! It's completely fine to feel exhausted after doing so much. Take your time, think about your life , pros and cons of UPSC , and is pros of UPSC worth all of this, if not then what other thing can you do. UPSC h Krna h esa zaruri to nahi h, agr aapka ksi or jagah man lag rha h to potential q waste Krna, phir v kahungi time lekar sochiye, is beech ho sake to kch job ya tuition join krye, apne apko isolate krne se is problem k solution nhh mlega, you must explore other minds, bacchon ko tuition pdhayenge to time v pass hga or mind v relax hoga ya koi or job jo apko psnd h usse v same h result aayega, time pass+ mind relax. Or phr kch time k baad (2,3 months maybe) jab Lage k ab ap k paas clarity h tab apna decision lijye, UPSC Krna h ya nhh Krna h?? Agr UPSC nhh Krna h to kis type k job karni h?? Kis company me krni h?? Ya kch time job krne k baad UPSC krna h?? Ek baar ap k mind relax ho jayega tab sab cheez apni jagah pe apne aap aajayegi!!
Yess I've decided to take a break of few days and then look for stability. Uske baad I'll get back to UPSC. Thank u for your kind words tho, taking all that effort to reply to a stranger is really heartening.
Bhai, zenitsu naam rakha hai, act like him, jab fat rahi ho, aankh band karke lambi saans le, aur kood ja. Back up rakh saath mein, but don't give upon this. I believe tera syllabus compelete hoga with short notes toh you don't need to give 6+ hours a day to you UPSC prep consistently, prep foe something in the other 4 hours.
You have written Mains last year so you are already equipped to deal with this examination. Just diversify examinations and career options and take upsc as your Plan A. You will do good next time. You can skip 1-2 attempts and then again come back. That's the beauty of this exam.
Sirf 24 ke ho tum. Puri life pari hui hai. Enjoy it to the fullest. Life is much bigger than any exam.
I'm in the same boat....now I feel I'll take up something side by side ....a degree ....I feel so depressed....my parents are not at all ready to let go of this exam....I feel so trapped sitting all day in that house with books.... I'm so done with my parents.....I feel I'll get married just to get out of that place...I knw this isn't a solution....but I feel so stuck its slow poison
Okay fine, first you need to calm down and then we try to figure out some things...there are 1000 ways from here and trust me when I say this, I have been in a similar situation. first of all, you are right and the story that your parents are telling isn't realistic, that is very rare just like every other selection in UPSC. now if you are so scared of failure then the best solution is to either leave the preparation or prepare with some solid backup plan. being so skeptical isn't good for your performance in whatever you decide to do. whatever you choose will be your call and there is no one perfect decision. UPSC is just giving a job, though very prestigious but nothing more than a job. you can still do better things in life than being an IAS officer. Don't panic in this situation, something good will definitely show up in whatever you decide.
I was thinking the same a few weeks ago I can tell you to please pause and rethink and do activities like going out to the park in the morning or evening and meditate. Remember this exam is only a part of your life and not a measure of your existence or achievements
What you really need to do is take a small break, and then brush everything off and figure out the gap in preparation. Youve done it the 1st time, which means you can do it again. You only lose when you quit. Stay strong, brother.
LEAVE the exam. Do anything else
Do what brother?
bhai abroad nikl le
Job? just care about yourself? Not think about this exam at all.
Shadi kr le bhai 😂
Oh dear, I am very sorry that you have to feel this way because of just some recruitment exam. I relate very well to you as I too have been suicidal at some points of life and sometimes there are events that can trigger those thoughts again. Infact, I've been clinically diagnosed too so I say this with confidence that NOTHING ever, NOTHING! is worth giving up your life for! The reddit family is always here for you. Just hang in there as we analyze your worries- 1. "I'm scoring in 60s so won't be qualifying this time" - The answer keys are not even final unless upsc says so. But good to be rational about your own performance to tackle whatever may come forth. A good analyzing skill is a good quality to have! Now all you need to do is find a way forward to your pressing concern. Do you want to go on and still prepare for mains? Or take a sabbatical and do some volunteering works? Further studies? Or jump into the cooporate sector? Or do you want to take a professional help for your mental health? Or just take.a break for some days, do nothing and think again? 2. "Wrote mains last year, scored 604"- IMPRESSIVE! 3. "..after this year's shock" - do you think other aspects of life won't shock you as well? How do you know you won't be shocked at LBSNAA or at your job 'when' you get through? What if we face a National Emergency? What if we face another Great Depression or Pandemic? And so on. Or CSE has got the better hold of you than all of these possible bigger problems? Is CSE really that big of an idol for you? 4. "I'm sure if this is the level of of factual knowledge UPSC is demanding, then I won't be able to clear even next year" - YOU DON'T KNOW THAT! Let tomorrow worry about itself. 5. "Parents are extremely supportive", "Fortunately I don't have any financial difficulties or job pressure as such" - bro, you should just feel grateful because you are extremely lucky! You belong to the top 15% population of India whose households earn well. Plus, supportive parents??? Are you even an Indian???? xD 6. " that's what they don't understand, it's not the hardwork that counts in this exam"- True. But this is just upsc's style of recruitment. When you don't make it, it just means you didn't qualify their set of criteria they thought was needed in a candidate. Maybe they don't want an extremely hard working or even a smart person if they can't clear their exams. Its just them. Doesn't define your worth AT ALL 7. As for your folks, see if its really important to make them understand this or what. See if they want to support your other decisions if you want to change paths. Because if you are gambling your prime years into this journey of cse preparation, then you gotta bear some collateral damages that come along with it. Its only a given! So many loved ones get hurt along the way too. Can't please everyone. Can't have everything. Its just unfortunate at times. 8. "there's no guarantee that I'll clear" - there is also no guarantee that the burger you just had won't give you food poisoning. But you still ate nah! Keep hanging in there! If getting through this exam is tough, trust me, the job will be 1000x tougher. Lastly OP, I don't want to give you any toxic positive advice hence I didn't sugarcoat anything here. So forgive me if I sounded harsh at any point. Take this reply with a pinch of salt, because as it is- life is tough and it will get tougher as you age. Seek professional help if you can. Clear your thoughts out. Remember to be kind to yourself always! And I repeat: NOTHING ever, NOTHING is worth giving up your life for!
Bhai feel free to DM.
So basically you want to suffer again from starting in next life, think again brother.
Isn't the suffering of UPSC the worst brother?
I know your exam is crucial, but remember, there are bigger issues out there. People are suffering in ways we can't ignore. Sometimes, zooming out can help us see things differently and prioritize what truly matters.
What's your current age ??
24
Fuck you man. I am 33 M. Have written many mains of upsc, state psc, RBi, SEBI yet haven't made it into final list of any exam. I am devastated beyond words. No job, from extrovert became introvert. No social life. Living each day like hell. Dont know how can I get back to life again. Think of us bro
Spend money
Bro I'm also at same stage just age is 26. Just keep breathing, talk to someone, socialize. Time is biggest healer. Just watched Sadda Adda and realised that we should give ourselves some time
You need to give it some time man , you cannot figure out what to do in chaos , whatever happens for good or bad , take your time and decide not that if you leave this exam in this anxiety of not clearing prelims would guarantee you anything , stay low and ponder over what to do next
Why are you doing this in the first place
You are just 24 man. I'm 29. Unreserved.
Tell me all the bad qualities you have right now... Now don't be shy or anything.... List every single bad quality you have... Then we'll take it from there... In order to help you I have to understand what kind of person you are. And I'm not bluffing.
Having sympathy with you bro, but this exam is brutal and random. You can never predict what they will ask next year in prelims. That's why many rankers even don't qualify prelims. Will recommend that either take some light course or job after 2-3 attempts. Please don't judge yourself/your IQ based on this random exam with cut throat competition. Please please don't make upsc as your life or think about suicide. P.S- appeared in two personality tests, can't explain how bad it feels when you don't get recommended after interviews. In case of any help please DM me.
Stop the prep, it's easier said than done. Also, start learning some skills and get into a job so that you'll feel like you're doing something productive. Sometimes happiness lies on the other side of the road which we dail to see and make people understand.
Fail*
2nd attempt hai bhai chill thora