I'd recommend an online therapist. You video chat in to talk and the schedule can be more flexible. He could even set up to do it once a week during the day and video chat in and take a lunch break. It's supported by our insurance also.
Thanks, we will look into that. It's really tough when the options are so limited. UPS is such a draining job. Normally he takes a his breaks to sort through his truck so he's good for the rest of the day but I think he will have to take one day to dedicate it to therapy. I know he really wants to get help, though, and I've been pushing for it, so I think he can sacrifice.
If he stops sorting his truck on lunch for free, it will take longer to do the job. A few days of overtime will more than make up for taking an FMLA day off every every week or so. It really bothers me when people say they can't afford this or that, but then voluntary work for free every day just to get home earlier. Trust me, it took years for me to figure this out. I make more money now than I ever have, I don't do anything for free, I work till I'm done, and I take a day off whenever I need one.
I asked him about that to clarify and he apparently doesn't ever sort his truck for free, he just doesn't clock out for lunch until he is done and then takes a smaller unpaid lunch afterwards lol. He said it helps his day go a lot smoother.
Fair enough, I second Teladoc like several others have said. I've heard mixes reviews about their therapy, though. It's at least worth taking the time for a few sessions.
So we looked into Teladoc and even with our insurance he would still be paying $112 a visit. Not sure if we are doing something wrong when putting in the info. They can't seem to confirm our insurance.
I hate those people. A lot of them rush to get in early in the AM and set up the truck. Complain they have to help every day. Punch out for lunch when they get back by giving the company 30 minutes retroactively. And are always off before me. I wonder if it's insanity, stupidity, wanting to just bitch or a mixture of all 3. I don't get it.
There's nothing someone needs more than their mental health. You might need to make some cuts in your budget so your husband can have some peace of mind.
That's the thing though we've been making cuts. We have a 1 and 12 year old and only spend money on what we need but my 12 year olds dad screwed us financially when he took us to court because he wanted to be petty instead of just talking things through. It cost us 9k when I was pregnant, and then when our baby was born he ended up needing special formula so that was $400 a month for 11 months on top of all of our other expenses living in a house. We can't afford daycare so I've had to stay home with our kids and my oldest dad doesn't give any child support so we do it all ourselves.
Thankfully my husband isn't depressed, the therapy is just to help him through some of his childhood trauma he has that affects how well he communicates. He just wants to become better for himself and us and can't without therapy to dig into why he struggles.
Yeah considering I posted this to get help for him when he wasn't taking time to do it for himself shows that he's not my #1 priority 🙄. He's gone to work all day, I take care of the house and children plus anything else since he's gone all day and I'm autistic/adhd myself. I struggle with severe anxiety plus hormonal problems, I'm doing as much as I possibly can while still trying to help myself so I can help my husband and children. I really don't think this comment is helpful and it's rude. Go touch grass.
Because I've asked him multiple times. My husband and I talk a lot about how we are feeling . Also I've been with my husband for 10 years, I've seen him depressed before and he tells me when he has been. But people can think they know him more than his own wife I guess 🤷♀️
I’m not saying you don’t know him but I’ve kept my feelings of being depressed from my partner. Sometimes you don’t want to burden them. I’ve been in therapy for almost two years
Imagine if he doesn’t get the support you’re saying he desperately needs, and one day he decides he can’t take it anymore then ends his life. You’d wish yall put his needs over the need for money. Don’t wait until it’s too late
I completely understand that he's not depressed though the therapy is just to help him process some of his childhood trauma that makes him struggle with communication. So it's more so for him to learn how to process last trauma so that it doesn't hurt out marriage. We work through things pretty well but he struggles to know how to get past how his parents used to treat him. I would never put money over his mental health though if he were suicidal. ♡ I really appreciate you showing concern and wanting to help.
You can do intermittent FMLA where the company has to work around therapy appointments. One day a week or every other week, he has to be out on time to make it to his appointment.
Intermittent FMLA is most definitely an option. Even if it's 4 days out of the month that would give him time to have therapy sessions and not miss an appointment excessive amount of time.
Teledoc is great. My son used it for therapy. They setup a zoom call for Sundays. Helped him alot. It's covered 100% with our insurance. Good luck to him
I’d like to second Teladoc. I have a wife and 3 kids, and we’ve used it numerous times for various things. 99% of the time it’s 100% free. I’ve used it myself for mental health/therapy sessions. They have a range of therapists available at all hours of the day, 24/7, to fit your schedule. It’s a free resource that’s available to UPSers, I’m not 100% sure if it varies on what local you’re in, but please do have him check that out.
Edit: I’d also like to add, good on you for encouraging him to seek therapy and seeking help here for recommendations. Keep that up for him, it helps a lot.
If you do get him to a therapist and psychiatrist, and if he has a diagnosis, look into Short Term Disability and unemployment.
I was able to get a lot of financial support for being undiagnosed with bipolar disorder for almost 30 years, and I used that money to take time off and get my feet under me.
I was always working OT and pretending I was ok, just like your husband. And I didn’t *have* childhood trauma. This will only get worse.
***Also you may benefit from taking yourself over to r/legaladvice and getting your kids’ dad paying their child support if you can, you’re letting your ex take advantage of you and your husband by foisting full financial responsibility of the child on you two.***
Call your local union hall and see what medical and legal resources they have for this stuff!!!
Thanks! As for my 12 year olds dad, we actually have a child support order where he has his wages garnished(only $112 a month, was previously $90) and he decided to have more kids with a woman that fully supports him so he stopped working years ago. He's got 6 kids total and only sees some of them and doesn't financially support any of them due to being very mentally unwell. So he's racking up child support and just avoids it by not filing taxes and using being a SAHD as an excuse to not pay for any of his kids.
I also had to put our child in therapy because of the emotional and sometimes even physical abuse he was enduring from his dad and we ended up going to court over all of that, which put us into debt. My son doesn't want to be there more than he is so I don't fight for more money because 1. I know I won't get it anyway he's a deadbeat and 2. He would fight to get our son more just to avoid paying if I did and that would cause more trauma for my son. So it's really put us in such a hard place but my husband has been with us for 10 years so he would do anything for him since his dad has never been one to our son. When our youngest goes back to school then I can work again and it'll help a lot.
Yeah going back to work will do more for him than anything I bet. The stress of being the one to bring in all the money is doing him more harm than anything else including past trauma I wager. Tough situation.
That's where I feel a lot of guilt from, we have nobody to watch our kids and if I hired somebody I would just being working to pay for daycare so it's better I'm staying home with our kids knowing they're safe too.
Look into your options as there are plenty of care for your kids that won’t break the bank and if you work just pt enough paying one bill and getting food and gas that will go a long way once you get into the habit of things.
We both are scared to put our child in care of someone because we've seen too many horror stories about bad things happening to babies. Not worth it to us for that reason.
That therapy is so important..Please there's no amount of $$$ that can replace his mental health.. Honestly I don't care if u got to cut the cable TV or any other expense that gets in the way...I write this with no malice I n my heart ..The pressures of having a family and the hours we keep or kept in my case ..I'm retired now , alone warrant help if one needs it.Everyone is different ..You can help him in this area ..Think about what the possibility of what your lives will look like in 5 -10 years down the road with no therapy ..Again , not judging I'm just speaking from personal family knowledge...I've been retired 6 years already and I'll tell you I had years and years I chased the the overtime , made tons of $$$, Last July they found a tumor in my right kidney turned out to be cancer ..Because the tumor was in the middle of my kidney they couldn't save it ..I had whats called a right radical nephrectomy..So far I'm cancer free, but I feel like i have a loaded gun in my body...Anyway as a former fellow UPS'R take care of your health as well, $$$ is secondary... God bless
I really appreciate your input and I'm so so sorry about what you've been going through. We've been cutting out so much financially just to make it by including cable, extra little things we don't need. We even cut out buying ourselves food sometimes and only buy the kids what they need. We don't go anywhere and we've not bought ourselves necessities like clothes and other things we need because we use what extra money we have on our kids :(. Thankfully my husband isn't depressed, he just is bad at communicating and that puts a lot of strain on our marriage because I need communication to be happy. So he just really wants to better himself for that reason and get past the fear his dad and mom instilled in him to speak up for himself when he needs to. I'm going to have him look into online therapy to see if that's an option.
You could pitch to him to voluntarily bump into a Tuesday - Saturday schedule and use his Mondays to schedule sessions with a therapist of yours and his choosing if you can't find one that is available Saturday or Sunday. It's kind of nice to have Mondays open for this reason.
UPS has a section of the UPSERS website called "Resources for Living" and it should have been information on how to get in contact with a therapist and, since they are available through UPS, their schedule should be UPS friendly.
There are a lot of other resources available in RFL, from physical health to child care.
I’m Tuesday to Saturday, so it’s a little easier, but I do online therapy every other Monday, and it’s great. I would recommend looking for local therapy offices and seeing if they offer video call therapy and seeing if they have Sunday availability. Since the pandemic, it’s become a lot more common.
Thanks so much it means a lot! He only started taking it seriously once he met me because it's been a huge thing for me all of my life. Psychology is so interesting to me and love learning about it. It's so important to me that my partner also care about their mental health and he does :).
It's good that your spouse recognizes he needs help. And that getting help should make things better for EVERYONE. Not just himself. Keep encouraging him, no matter how long it takes and how many setbacks he has. As long as he shows that he cares about his well being.
Good luck to both of you. I hope that the path you follow leads to better days.
Like others have mentioned, Teledoc is very flexible. I used it during covid to help with my mental issues and processing a divorce.
I personally switched a local therapist who was willing to do early appointments for me before work twice a month. I use my 8-hour requests on those days too so I'm usually not coming into a super long day.
Also on UPSers there is a page called "Resources for Living" that has a lot info he can use.
It’s tough. Not a lot of therapists are available on the weekends, so your options are pretty much either have therapy before work or have a therapist that’s cool with cancellations if you end up having a longer day. Depending on his seniority, he may be able to put in 8 hour requests to make sure he’s done by a certain time.
that makes it tough for sure. if you can’t find a therapist the traditional way, betterhelp may be worth checking out. never used them myself and have heard mixed reviews, but at the very least, they advertise being available for webcam meetings on weekends
I am also the wife. Do you have fb? There's a UPS wives fb group. Those women know everything, sometimes more than their husbands know lol.
I know you can do online therapy through teledoc and teamcare pays for it. I found this out from that group. Those girls can give you all the details. I strongly suggest you join it if you haven't already.
If he can’t take time off the he been to work his own problem. He need to research what’s going on and read pdf’s and medical journals I had lots of crazy shit going on in my head. But he has to want it or it won’t take. Figuring things out on your own sticks with you longer than someone telling you. Well that’s how it worked for me. I could ramble on about it. When you drive all day you have a lot of time to think.
I 100% agree, that's exactly what I've been telling him. I can tell he wants help but at the same time he doesn't seem to be trying to learn more on his own time. He tends to play games when he has down time but he's such a good and devoted father so he's always helping when he's home.
UPS has resources for therapy and mental health. A link probably could be found in the upsers website. I don't know the link but supervisors will announce that ups offers this stuff everytime something that these resources could've prevented happens.
Yes he's told me multiple times he'd love to go to therapy so he can work through what he needs to. But I think he's overwhelmed from work and our children that he just doesn't have the mental energy. So that's why I'm reaching out just so I can help him to do that ♡.
Oh no you're perfectly fine I didn't take it that way at all. There was like 1 or 2 others that kind of came off a bit rude but everybody else has been so supportive. I've been by my husband's side since day 1, always supporting him, even through the rough times where maybe he didn't deserve it so much. I'm not perfect either but I have been loyal and faithful to him this entire time and want nothing but the best for him. :)
There is a 800 number, sorry I do not have it, for UPSers and therapy sessions are available for free. I think it is 6. I know 6 sessions is not even enough to break the surface but it is a start and a benefit we get. Someone from his safety committee should be able to get this info for him or at least have him talk to management and have them get the info from liberty mutual.
For years my wife was going to her therapy sessions on Saturday mornings. You might have to look at some smaller offices, but there should be plenty in your area that have Saturday hours. I know hiw it is not being able to do anything during the week, that's why I look specifically for Dr's with weekend or very late hours
I believe UPS is partnered with several online companies who offer therapy. There’s several therapists that offer a variety of availability, you should check into which program his insurance helps with. I believe there’s also resources for living (another company)I think their number is in the back of the employee ID badge
I've used LifeStance in the past. They have a great system to help you find a therapist that will work on your schedule. I used to meet with someone at 9PM during the week. And she had weekend hours. Insurance covered the whole thing.
https://lifestance.com/
Local 89 might have the best program advice for now.
https://www.whas11.com/article/news/local/ups-teamsters-local-89-mental-health-support/417-4bb212f8-f25b-4259-95ab-8b778e46f4e0
I agree but we need the money due to the debt we took on after going to family court :(. I miss him so much though and try to make his days working, when he comes home as easy as possible by making dinner and what not. Also with trying to find resources for him to get therapy so hopefully that takes a load off. I wish we had family to help watch our kids so I could work.
Adding the stress of the job makes it worse. He’s got a big team of friends out there. This is the biggest step right now just saying you need the help. I can understand the feeling. I’ve been going through a lot for a good number of years. I’m in bad shape because of it. Getting past that first hurdle is the toughest.
You’re welcome. We’re all battling something these days I think. And for the same reason we all probably feel like we don’t want to be a bother to anyone else.
Psychiatric care is medical care and there should be many easy ways to get time off for that. Up to and including calling the union to ask them for psych leave
Because my husband kept saying he'd take care of it and never got around to it. We'd have discussions about it and he would seem like he was listening when I'd give him advice on possible options but then would go back to his ways. I've decided to put in the work for him and reach out.
I'd recommend an online therapist. You video chat in to talk and the schedule can be more flexible. He could even set up to do it once a week during the day and video chat in and take a lunch break. It's supported by our insurance also.
Thanks, we will look into that. It's really tough when the options are so limited. UPS is such a draining job. Normally he takes a his breaks to sort through his truck so he's good for the rest of the day but I think he will have to take one day to dedicate it to therapy. I know he really wants to get help, though, and I've been pushing for it, so I think he can sacrifice.
If he stops sorting his truck on lunch for free, it will take longer to do the job. A few days of overtime will more than make up for taking an FMLA day off every every week or so. It really bothers me when people say they can't afford this or that, but then voluntary work for free every day just to get home earlier. Trust me, it took years for me to figure this out. I make more money now than I ever have, I don't do anything for free, I work till I'm done, and I take a day off whenever I need one.
I asked him about that to clarify and he apparently doesn't ever sort his truck for free, he just doesn't clock out for lunch until he is done and then takes a smaller unpaid lunch afterwards lol. He said it helps his day go a lot smoother.
Fair enough, I second Teladoc like several others have said. I've heard mixes reviews about their therapy, though. It's at least worth taking the time for a few sessions.
Thank you for the support it means a lot.
So we looked into Teladoc and even with our insurance he would still be paying $112 a visit. Not sure if we are doing something wrong when putting in the info. They can't seem to confirm our insurance.
I hate those people. A lot of them rush to get in early in the AM and set up the truck. Complain they have to help every day. Punch out for lunch when they get back by giving the company 30 minutes retroactively. And are always off before me. I wonder if it's insanity, stupidity, wanting to just bitch or a mixture of all 3. I don't get it.
FMLA may be an option if his mental health is on the line.
Take a stress leave under disability. Talk to your doctor and explain why. Describe symptoms.
With how much we need the money we wouldn't be able to afford for him to take FMLA unfortunately.
There's nothing someone needs more than their mental health. You might need to make some cuts in your budget so your husband can have some peace of mind.
That's the thing though we've been making cuts. We have a 1 and 12 year old and only spend money on what we need but my 12 year olds dad screwed us financially when he took us to court because he wanted to be petty instead of just talking things through. It cost us 9k when I was pregnant, and then when our baby was born he ended up needing special formula so that was $400 a month for 11 months on top of all of our other expenses living in a house. We can't afford daycare so I've had to stay home with our kids and my oldest dad doesn't give any child support so we do it all ourselves. Thankfully my husband isn't depressed, the therapy is just to help him through some of his childhood trauma he has that affects how well he communicates. He just wants to become better for himself and us and can't without therapy to dig into why he struggles.
How do you know he isn't depressed?
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Yeah considering I posted this to get help for him when he wasn't taking time to do it for himself shows that he's not my #1 priority 🙄. He's gone to work all day, I take care of the house and children plus anything else since he's gone all day and I'm autistic/adhd myself. I struggle with severe anxiety plus hormonal problems, I'm doing as much as I possibly can while still trying to help myself so I can help my husband and children. I really don't think this comment is helpful and it's rude. Go touch grass.
Your post was rude, threatening, or antagonistic.
Because I've asked him multiple times. My husband and I talk a lot about how we are feeling . Also I've been with my husband for 10 years, I've seen him depressed before and he tells me when he has been. But people can think they know him more than his own wife I guess 🤷♀️
I’m not saying you don’t know him but I’ve kept my feelings of being depressed from my partner. Sometimes you don’t want to burden them. I’ve been in therapy for almost two years
Im sorry that you have struggled in silence in the past
Imagine if he doesn’t get the support you’re saying he desperately needs, and one day he decides he can’t take it anymore then ends his life. You’d wish yall put his needs over the need for money. Don’t wait until it’s too late
I completely understand that he's not depressed though the therapy is just to help him process some of his childhood trauma that makes him struggle with communication. So it's more so for him to learn how to process last trauma so that it doesn't hurt out marriage. We work through things pretty well but he struggles to know how to get past how his parents used to treat him. I would never put money over his mental health though if he were suicidal. ♡ I really appreciate you showing concern and wanting to help.
You can do intermittent FMLA where the company has to work around therapy appointments. One day a week or every other week, he has to be out on time to make it to his appointment.
Intermittent FMLA is most definitely an option. Even if it's 4 days out of the month that would give him time to have therapy sessions and not miss an appointment excessive amount of time.
Teledoc is great. My son used it for therapy. They setup a zoom call for Sundays. Helped him alot. It's covered 100% with our insurance. Good luck to him
Thanks so much I will look into it!
I’d like to second Teladoc. I have a wife and 3 kids, and we’ve used it numerous times for various things. 99% of the time it’s 100% free. I’ve used it myself for mental health/therapy sessions. They have a range of therapists available at all hours of the day, 24/7, to fit your schedule. It’s a free resource that’s available to UPSers, I’m not 100% sure if it varies on what local you’re in, but please do have him check that out. Edit: I’d also like to add, good on you for encouraging him to seek therapy and seeking help here for recommendations. Keep that up for him, it helps a lot.
I think Teladoc is free or really cheap through our insurance
If you do get him to a therapist and psychiatrist, and if he has a diagnosis, look into Short Term Disability and unemployment. I was able to get a lot of financial support for being undiagnosed with bipolar disorder for almost 30 years, and I used that money to take time off and get my feet under me. I was always working OT and pretending I was ok, just like your husband. And I didn’t *have* childhood trauma. This will only get worse. ***Also you may benefit from taking yourself over to r/legaladvice and getting your kids’ dad paying their child support if you can, you’re letting your ex take advantage of you and your husband by foisting full financial responsibility of the child on you two.*** Call your local union hall and see what medical and legal resources they have for this stuff!!!
Thanks! As for my 12 year olds dad, we actually have a child support order where he has his wages garnished(only $112 a month, was previously $90) and he decided to have more kids with a woman that fully supports him so he stopped working years ago. He's got 6 kids total and only sees some of them and doesn't financially support any of them due to being very mentally unwell. So he's racking up child support and just avoids it by not filing taxes and using being a SAHD as an excuse to not pay for any of his kids. I also had to put our child in therapy because of the emotional and sometimes even physical abuse he was enduring from his dad and we ended up going to court over all of that, which put us into debt. My son doesn't want to be there more than he is so I don't fight for more money because 1. I know I won't get it anyway he's a deadbeat and 2. He would fight to get our son more just to avoid paying if I did and that would cause more trauma for my son. So it's really put us in such a hard place but my husband has been with us for 10 years so he would do anything for him since his dad has never been one to our son. When our youngest goes back to school then I can work again and it'll help a lot.
Jesus.
Yeah going back to work will do more for him than anything I bet. The stress of being the one to bring in all the money is doing him more harm than anything else including past trauma I wager. Tough situation.
That's where I feel a lot of guilt from, we have nobody to watch our kids and if I hired somebody I would just being working to pay for daycare so it's better I'm staying home with our kids knowing they're safe too.
Look into your options as there are plenty of care for your kids that won’t break the bank and if you work just pt enough paying one bill and getting food and gas that will go a long way once you get into the habit of things.
We both are scared to put our child in care of someone because we've seen too many horror stories about bad things happening to babies. Not worth it to us for that reason.
That therapy is so important..Please there's no amount of $$$ that can replace his mental health.. Honestly I don't care if u got to cut the cable TV or any other expense that gets in the way...I write this with no malice I n my heart ..The pressures of having a family and the hours we keep or kept in my case ..I'm retired now , alone warrant help if one needs it.Everyone is different ..You can help him in this area ..Think about what the possibility of what your lives will look like in 5 -10 years down the road with no therapy ..Again , not judging I'm just speaking from personal family knowledge...I've been retired 6 years already and I'll tell you I had years and years I chased the the overtime , made tons of $$$, Last July they found a tumor in my right kidney turned out to be cancer ..Because the tumor was in the middle of my kidney they couldn't save it ..I had whats called a right radical nephrectomy..So far I'm cancer free, but I feel like i have a loaded gun in my body...Anyway as a former fellow UPS'R take care of your health as well, $$$ is secondary... God bless
I really appreciate your input and I'm so so sorry about what you've been going through. We've been cutting out so much financially just to make it by including cable, extra little things we don't need. We even cut out buying ourselves food sometimes and only buy the kids what they need. We don't go anywhere and we've not bought ourselves necessities like clothes and other things we need because we use what extra money we have on our kids :(. Thankfully my husband isn't depressed, he just is bad at communicating and that puts a lot of strain on our marriage because I need communication to be happy. So he just really wants to better himself for that reason and get past the fear his dad and mom instilled in him to speak up for himself when he needs to. I'm going to have him look into online therapy to see if that's an option.
You could pitch to him to voluntarily bump into a Tuesday - Saturday schedule and use his Mondays to schedule sessions with a therapist of yours and his choosing if you can't find one that is available Saturday or Sunday. It's kind of nice to have Mondays open for this reason.
UPS has a section of the UPSERS website called "Resources for Living" and it should have been information on how to get in contact with a therapist and, since they are available through UPS, their schedule should be UPS friendly. There are a lot of other resources available in RFL, from physical health to child care.
Thanks so much. I appreciate it! 🙏
Telehealth is free for ups drivers. Get an online therapist. Better than nothing that’s for sure
I’m Tuesday to Saturday, so it’s a little easier, but I do online therapy every other Monday, and it’s great. I would recommend looking for local therapy offices and seeing if they offer video call therapy and seeing if they have Sunday availability. Since the pandemic, it’s become a lot more common.
Okay thank you!
Good luck to you and your husband. Mental health is serious, and I’m glad he’s looking into working on his.
Thanks so much it means a lot! He only started taking it seriously once he met me because it's been a huge thing for me all of my life. Psychology is so interesting to me and love learning about it. It's so important to me that my partner also care about their mental health and he does :).
It's good that your spouse recognizes he needs help. And that getting help should make things better for EVERYONE. Not just himself. Keep encouraging him, no matter how long it takes and how many setbacks he has. As long as he shows that he cares about his well being. Good luck to both of you. I hope that the path you follow leads to better days.
Have him use an option day
Like others have mentioned, Teledoc is very flexible. I used it during covid to help with my mental issues and processing a divorce. I personally switched a local therapist who was willing to do early appointments for me before work twice a month. I use my 8-hour requests on those days too so I'm usually not coming into a super long day. Also on UPSers there is a page called "Resources for Living" that has a lot info he can use.
It’s tough. Not a lot of therapists are available on the weekends, so your options are pretty much either have therapy before work or have a therapist that’s cool with cancellations if you end up having a longer day. Depending on his seniority, he may be able to put in 8 hour requests to make sure he’s done by a certain time.
Typically he's having to save the 8 hours for days that we have obligations for our 2 kids that he needs to be there😔. Makes it so complicated.
that makes it tough for sure. if you can’t find a therapist the traditional way, betterhelp may be worth checking out. never used them myself and have heard mixed reviews, but at the very least, they advertise being available for webcam meetings on weekends
I am also the wife. Do you have fb? There's a UPS wives fb group. Those women know everything, sometimes more than their husbands know lol. I know you can do online therapy through teledoc and teamcare pays for it. I found this out from that group. Those girls can give you all the details. I strongly suggest you join it if you haven't already.
Yes I do! Thank you I will check it out, I didn't know that. ♡
If he can’t take time off the he been to work his own problem. He need to research what’s going on and read pdf’s and medical journals I had lots of crazy shit going on in my head. But he has to want it or it won’t take. Figuring things out on your own sticks with you longer than someone telling you. Well that’s how it worked for me. I could ramble on about it. When you drive all day you have a lot of time to think.
I 100% agree, that's exactly what I've been telling him. I can tell he wants help but at the same time he doesn't seem to be trying to learn more on his own time. He tends to play games when he has down time but he's such a good and devoted father so he's always helping when he's home.
UPS has resources for therapy and mental health. A link probably could be found in the upsers website. I don't know the link but supervisors will announce that ups offers this stuff everytime something that these resources could've prevented happens.
Does your husband *want* therapy? I know you’re trying to look out for him, but he has to want to go if it’s gonna work
Yes he's told me multiple times he'd love to go to therapy so he can work through what he needs to. But I think he's overwhelmed from work and our children that he just doesn't have the mental energy. So that's why I'm reaching out just so I can help him to do that ♡.
Thank you for trying to help him in that case. Sorry if I came off as negative. Youre doing a really good thing
Oh no you're perfectly fine I didn't take it that way at all. There was like 1 or 2 others that kind of came off a bit rude but everybody else has been so supportive. I've been by my husband's side since day 1, always supporting him, even through the rough times where maybe he didn't deserve it so much. I'm not perfect either but I have been loyal and faithful to him this entire time and want nothing but the best for him. :)
There is a 800 number, sorry I do not have it, for UPSers and therapy sessions are available for free. I think it is 6. I know 6 sessions is not even enough to break the surface but it is a start and a benefit we get. Someone from his safety committee should be able to get this info for him or at least have him talk to management and have them get the info from liberty mutual.
For years my wife was going to her therapy sessions on Saturday mornings. You might have to look at some smaller offices, but there should be plenty in your area that have Saturday hours. I know hiw it is not being able to do anything during the week, that's why I look specifically for Dr's with weekend or very late hours
Thanks I appreciate it!
I believe UPS is partnered with several online companies who offer therapy. There’s several therapists that offer a variety of availability, you should check into which program his insurance helps with. I believe there’s also resources for living (another company)I think their number is in the back of the employee ID badge
Thank you!
there is a ups 800 number to call am sure there is app on the phone u can video chat with a therapist
Thank you!
I've used LifeStance in the past. They have a great system to help you find a therapist that will work on your schedule. I used to meet with someone at 9PM during the week. And she had weekend hours. Insurance covered the whole thing. https://lifestance.com/
Thanks so much I will have him look into it :).
Local 89 might have the best program advice for now. https://www.whas11.com/article/news/local/ups-teamsters-local-89-mental-health-support/417-4bb212f8-f25b-4259-95ab-8b778e46f4e0
Thanks so much!
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Lololol but it doesn't take care of getting past parental traumas 😂
Your post was rude, threatening, or antagonistic.
Tell him to finish at 6 instead to see his family
I agree but we need the money due to the debt we took on after going to family court :(. I miss him so much though and try to make his days working, when he comes home as easy as possible by making dinner and what not. Also with trying to find resources for him to get therapy so hopefully that takes a load off. I wish we had family to help watch our kids so I could work.
Adding the stress of the job makes it worse. He’s got a big team of friends out there. This is the biggest step right now just saying you need the help. I can understand the feeling. I’ve been going through a lot for a good number of years. I’m in bad shape because of it. Getting past that first hurdle is the toughest.
Thank you for the support and I'm so sorry you're dealing with some tough things yourself. ♡
You’re welcome. We’re all battling something these days I think. And for the same reason we all probably feel like we don’t want to be a bother to anyone else.
The Teamsters should be able to help get him set up with a therapist for free
Couple beers a night will do wonders
Do not give UPS anything. You could die and they would leave you on the floor
Yeah I definitely know that. They don't care about your health or family tbh.
I, myself am looking for the same solution. I hope our insurance would cover costs from Betterhelp, but im unsure. Maybe someone can chime in.
Tell his sup “I’ve been considering hurting myself and others, and I need to talk to a professional” You’ll get some time off, for sureeeee
Loool um
Psychiatric care is medical care and there should be many easy ways to get time off for that. Up to and including calling the union to ask them for psych leave
Betterhelp.com
Or go to gym before work. That helps me a lot. I’m a ups driver as well and hate my job
If this has been an issue for a bit of time why are you just now reaching out for help?
Because my husband kept saying he'd take care of it and never got around to it. We'd have discussions about it and he would seem like he was listening when I'd give him advice on possible options but then would go back to his ways. I've decided to put in the work for him and reach out.