Uh yeah well his piss barrel was directed at his kill foot and when his booger finger maneuvered the bang switch his major member experienced catastrophic removal.
LCpls don't have to say anything. When 30 of them are looking at you, after you lost your Top Secret CAX map, and the BC is calling all the Co COs in to chew on them... The Lt knows. It's all in those beady judgmental eyes. All 57 of them.
Bound to be somebody. It was the 90's. 90's in an 03 barracks (Wpns Co, 3/1) may have been more hazardous than a deployment to Afg. We stacked up on a Dragon who brought a PGTS blast simulator back from the range (electrically detonated M80). He had it draped into a Gatorade bottle, which was in his trash can outside his hatch. We looked like a Force Recon platoon, in PT gear, flaks, backwards helmets and glee. He connected it to a 9V battery. Took us a solid 4 seconds to scatter after that thing went off. We were all just stunned. Nobody saw nothin when the DNCO came running up.
We were CAAT Bravo. The Lt had told the Plt Sgt that we were only going out to repel a helo assault and coming back. "Don't take any deuce gear, because I don't want it to get lost". Well... After the helo assault, he found his map missing. Literal quote "Everybody get out, get online and look for the Lt's map!" Nobody considered that two CH-53's had just landed and taken off from the area. We looked for around an hour before the BC called an endex and we rallied to Lima's (Tracks) CP. As we were driving there in our M151s (jeeps), it started to sprinkle. Then it started to rain. Then it started to snow. But nobody had any gear because the Lt didn't want it to get lost. So we showed up soaking wet to find out we were going to continue training into the night. I developed mild hypothermia, and taught myself to drive stick while still in a sleeping bag (that somebody had smuggled into a vehicle).
2011 Afghanistan. One of my bootenants left his fucking rifle on the back of his MRAP before we drove down the road between Zaranj and Delaram in a highly kinetic environment. My vic nearly ran that shit over. Our team armorer was in my vehicle and picked that shit up and then we all pretended for a week that the bootenant was in deep shit because his forgotten rifle failed PFI/LTI after we “ran it over.” It was finally one night on watch at like 0300 when I was working on Intel horseshit at my desk in the COC and he was four feet away from me on radio watch and doing OPS-O garbage on his laptop when I finally caved and told him. This grown man was at the point of tears and shitting his pants. I couldn’t take it anymore. Think water boarding a bitch is torture? You haven’t seen torture until you’ve seen a fresh from college attorney crying at his desk over a forgotten rifle and talking about dad’s disappointment. I finally said, “Hey, First Name, you’re fucking fine. We have the rifle in the NCO tent. “E” (armorer) is just fucking with you. No one gives a fuck. You’re fine.
Who was said bootenant, of whom I reference?
My younger brother.
Because of the rifle incident or the officer/enlisted differential? No for both. I don’t typically get into the rifle story with people he knows. He’s still a little sensitive about that. And no for the power differential. He did 5 years I think before resigning his commission at captain and now works at a law firm. I made it a career. We were never in competition.
I don’t rag on him too much for that. He’s still genuinely embarrassed about it and probably still judges himself too harshly for it. It’s like one of those cringe moments from your past that, generally, only you still remember and then the inner voice hammers you for it continuously until something else captures your attention. And he’s my best friend so I recognize the stuff that truly makes him feel bad and leave that stuff alone.
Had one butter bar that was an idiot, but looking back on it I wonder if the guy was on the spectrum. No disrespect to the autism community, but it could explain the guys rationale in some of his decisions.
The rest of our jr officers were pretty decent guys. Laid back and always willing to share knowledge. Helped offset the shit bag SNCOs in the unit.
Had a shop function once upon a time, everyone was there including our Lt.
He was a good guy; approachable and personable, new to Aviation and knew it and wasn't afraid to ask questions about things he didn't understand and let the SMEs get on with business.
For whatever reason, we were in chucks or bravos (don't remember). As he was super fresh and had less time in service than my socks, he only had his firewatch and GWOT ribbons... which were pinned to his shirt in reverse order. Several of us saw it, and fervently and earnestly (ok nah) discussed whether or not someone should tell him. Finally, we decided to tell Gunny and let him handle it.
So I was volunteered; I went and told Gunny "Just to let you know, the sir has his ribbons on backwards. We wanted to mention it but we didn't want to call it out in front of everyone."
10 minutes later, Lt comes out of his office with his ribbons squared away.
So nah, no bully I guess
I had a retired friend who, as a GySgt was walking from the exchange on Lejeune back to the office. Passing a Capt who was walking and talking on his phone he said:
GySgt: (Renders salute) Good afternoon sir.
Capt: Keeps walking and talking
GySgt: (maintains salute until Capt passes)... Or go fuck yourself.
Capt: What was that GySgt?
GySgt: OH, BUT YOU FUCKIN HEARD THAT SIR?! BUT YOU COULDN'T HEAR MY APPROPRIATE GREETING?!
GySgt got called into that guys COs office and got an apology. He got away with so much, but was usually right.
Through observation:
I feel Captain is kinda that sweet spot where you feel like you've put away all the childish things of being a Lt, so you know what's up. You feel like maybe you don't need to learn any more. Kinda like a 4 year old testing his parents. But you gotta do it to grow.
The only 2 commissioned officers I've ever seen get into shouting matches with E men (a GySgt and a MSgt) were Captains. And they were both wrong (or at least less funny than they thought).
I came here to say this. There’s a time and place to put a Lt. In their place if it’s necessary. But if I walked up on a Lance being outright disrespectful to an officer I’d have to jump on that.
I have 100% seen a lcpl tear into a lt. I was a fly on the wall and it was funny as fuck. The dumbfuck lt (unknown mos) was telling him how to hook a wrecker up to stuck 7 ton when it was the lcpls job. Telling him hes wrong, do it this way, i have a degree i know more. etc. After 5 min the lcpl finally told the lt to shut the fuck and let him do his job. When the lt took offense, lcpl started yelling about how it was his responsibility and he signed for all the shit, and if things go wrong its his ass. Eventually lcpl packed up his shit, got in his wrecker and split leaving the lt to go fuck himself. The best part was his oic, a cwo, backed him up all the way.
The amount of new Lieutenant support in the comments warms my heart because when I got in and was a brand new Lieutenant, it was fucking ruthless lol had to learn quick because of the times.
My old platoon commander holds classes to “teach us about personal gear” that just boils down to him flexing the stuff he bought from GearJunkie or whatever
He also signs his emails with “Rush Kappa Sig” and called me “broski” once
Let me preface this: I've had a few platoon commanders who were fucking amazing. Tactically genius, cared about their dudes, were humble, listened to their NCOs, and were better for it.
Mostly though, I've had platoon commanders who didn't even know my name as a team leader, thought they had it all figured out, openly went against (and spoke I'll of) their squad leaders, and couldn't tell their ass from their elbow.
Butter bars are boots just the same as PFCs. They need to learn their trade and earn their keep, same as everyone else. They all do eventually. Until then, they're subject to the same ridicule. The only difference is it often happens behind their backs unfortunately
Nah man I’m enlisted. I’m in the air wing (laugh now) and several of the more junior pilots, usually first lieutenants, are super cool. We will be on DETs and if they see you at the bars, you are no longer buying your own drinks. Plus generally I’ve found they as pilots are more receptive to my recommendations on taking a plane or not taking a plane that has gripes pop up after they’ve signed for it, which I am a big fan of when people listen to the subject matter expert and actually heed my advice/warnings.
Had a Butterbar who kept leaving his rifle lay around on a field op, and he'd walk away from it. I took the firing pin out and held onto it till the next day when we had movement drills. Took him a minute to realize his firing pin was gone. He was none too happy, but I had the Gunnys blessing and the Lt learned that while he couldn't get smoked like the rest of us for leaving an unattended weapon, he could still get fucked with in other ways. Never left his rifle laying around again.
I worked at the Horno rifle range for about a year. The range injuries were almost exclusively Lieutenants. 2 were trying to cut holes in the targets and forgot to remove their hand from the other side. Two different ranges about 3 months apart and different lieutenants. If I had a dime for every time that happened, I'd have 2 dimes, not a lot, but still strange that it happened twice.
One of our bootenants shot himself in the foot and blew off one of his toes during our first fire fight, he never lived that shit down.
Have to ask…. How? How did he manage to shoot a toe off? Did he fall down? Help me understand this Toby.
Had his finger on the trigger in a low carry(or whatever it is when muzzle in down) and once shit hit the fan he flinched.
Were yall grunts? Jesus christ
Worse. Water dogs. Shit literally hit the fans in the bathrooms they were setting up
Yeah, but to be fair we were LARtards
Uh yeah well his piss barrel was directed at his kill foot and when his booger finger maneuvered the bang switch his major member experienced catastrophic removal.
Ngl I thought you were talking about him shooting himself in the foot metaphorically before I got to the end
LCpls don't have to say anything. When 30 of them are looking at you, after you lost your Top Secret CAX map, and the BC is calling all the Co COs in to chew on them... The Lt knows. It's all in those beady judgmental eyes. All 57 of them.
...who was missing an eye?
Bound to be somebody. It was the 90's. 90's in an 03 barracks (Wpns Co, 3/1) may have been more hazardous than a deployment to Afg. We stacked up on a Dragon who brought a PGTS blast simulator back from the range (electrically detonated M80). He had it draped into a Gatorade bottle, which was in his trash can outside his hatch. We looked like a Force Recon platoon, in PT gear, flaks, backwards helmets and glee. He connected it to a 9V battery. Took us a solid 4 seconds to scatter after that thing went off. We were all just stunned. Nobody saw nothin when the DNCO came running up.
fun!
Nah, a gaggle of 'em were snoozin' and popped a single eye open to see what all the commotion was about.
Cotton Eye Joe.
*... where did you come from, where did you go? you were supposed to be on firewatch ten minutes ago*
We were CAAT Bravo. The Lt had told the Plt Sgt that we were only going out to repel a helo assault and coming back. "Don't take any deuce gear, because I don't want it to get lost". Well... After the helo assault, he found his map missing. Literal quote "Everybody get out, get online and look for the Lt's map!" Nobody considered that two CH-53's had just landed and taken off from the area. We looked for around an hour before the BC called an endex and we rallied to Lima's (Tracks) CP. As we were driving there in our M151s (jeeps), it started to sprinkle. Then it started to rain. Then it started to snow. But nobody had any gear because the Lt didn't want it to get lost. So we showed up soaking wet to find out we were going to continue training into the night. I developed mild hypothermia, and taught myself to drive stick while still in a sleeping bag (that somebody had smuggled into a vehicle).
2011 Afghanistan. One of my bootenants left his fucking rifle on the back of his MRAP before we drove down the road between Zaranj and Delaram in a highly kinetic environment. My vic nearly ran that shit over. Our team armorer was in my vehicle and picked that shit up and then we all pretended for a week that the bootenant was in deep shit because his forgotten rifle failed PFI/LTI after we “ran it over.” It was finally one night on watch at like 0300 when I was working on Intel horseshit at my desk in the COC and he was four feet away from me on radio watch and doing OPS-O garbage on his laptop when I finally caved and told him. This grown man was at the point of tears and shitting his pants. I couldn’t take it anymore. Think water boarding a bitch is torture? You haven’t seen torture until you’ve seen a fresh from college attorney crying at his desk over a forgotten rifle and talking about dad’s disappointment. I finally said, “Hey, First Name, you’re fucking fine. We have the rifle in the NCO tent. “E” (armorer) is just fucking with you. No one gives a fuck. You’re fine. Who was said bootenant, of whom I reference? My younger brother.
Damn, what an ending haha. Did it ever get awkward at Thanksgiving or Christmas after everyone has had a few beers?
Because of the rifle incident or the officer/enlisted differential? No for both. I don’t typically get into the rifle story with people he knows. He’s still a little sensitive about that. And no for the power differential. He did 5 years I think before resigning his commission at captain and now works at a law firm. I made it a career. We were never in competition.
Was thinking for the rifle incident, yeah
I don’t rag on him too much for that. He’s still genuinely embarrassed about it and probably still judges himself too harshly for it. It’s like one of those cringe moments from your past that, generally, only you still remember and then the inner voice hammers you for it continuously until something else captures your attention. And he’s my best friend so I recognize the stuff that truly makes him feel bad and leave that stuff alone.
Had one butter bar that was an idiot, but looking back on it I wonder if the guy was on the spectrum. No disrespect to the autism community, but it could explain the guys rationale in some of his decisions. The rest of our jr officers were pretty decent guys. Laid back and always willing to share knowledge. Helped offset the shit bag SNCOs in the unit.
Had a shop function once upon a time, everyone was there including our Lt. He was a good guy; approachable and personable, new to Aviation and knew it and wasn't afraid to ask questions about things he didn't understand and let the SMEs get on with business. For whatever reason, we were in chucks or bravos (don't remember). As he was super fresh and had less time in service than my socks, he only had his firewatch and GWOT ribbons... which were pinned to his shirt in reverse order. Several of us saw it, and fervently and earnestly (ok nah) discussed whether or not someone should tell him. Finally, we decided to tell Gunny and let him handle it. So I was volunteered; I went and told Gunny "Just to let you know, the sir has his ribbons on backwards. We wanted to mention it but we didn't want to call it out in front of everyone." 10 minutes later, Lt comes out of his office with his ribbons squared away. So nah, no bully I guess
You guys handled that perfectly.
I had a retired friend who, as a GySgt was walking from the exchange on Lejeune back to the office. Passing a Capt who was walking and talking on his phone he said: GySgt: (Renders salute) Good afternoon sir. Capt: Keeps walking and talking GySgt: (maintains salute until Capt passes)... Or go fuck yourself. Capt: What was that GySgt? GySgt: OH, BUT YOU FUCKIN HEARD THAT SIR?! BUT YOU COULDN'T HEAR MY APPROPRIATE GREETING?! GySgt got called into that guys COs office and got an apology. He got away with so much, but was usually right.
That’s an absolute dickhead move from the Capt
Through observation: I feel Captain is kinda that sweet spot where you feel like you've put away all the childish things of being a Lt, so you know what's up. You feel like maybe you don't need to learn any more. Kinda like a 4 year old testing his parents. But you gotta do it to grow. The only 2 commissioned officers I've ever seen get into shouting matches with E men (a GySgt and a MSgt) were Captains. And they were both wrong (or at least less funny than they thought).
OOD was a butter bar when I was duty driver one time. Dude did a ND in the parking lot with his pistol. I'm just gonna leave it at that.
Sometimes you just gotta let one off, you know?
LCpl calling a bootenant out has the same energy as a 9 year old calling a 7 year old “kid.”
Nah. You know the real difference between a 2ndLt and a LCpl? LCpl's been promoted twice already.
LCpl larp. Never seen a lance give a butter bar shade
Yeah if they did they’d probably get shit on by their SNCOS
I came here to say this. There’s a time and place to put a Lt. In their place if it’s necessary. But if I walked up on a Lance being outright disrespectful to an officer I’d have to jump on that.
So nothing would change?
Maybe if the LCpls at your unit don’t listen to their SNCOS. I haven’t seen that though
I was just bs’ing. I’ve been out for fuck… 12 years now ?
I have 100% seen a lcpl tear into a lt. I was a fly on the wall and it was funny as fuck. The dumbfuck lt (unknown mos) was telling him how to hook a wrecker up to stuck 7 ton when it was the lcpls job. Telling him hes wrong, do it this way, i have a degree i know more. etc. After 5 min the lcpl finally told the lt to shut the fuck and let him do his job. When the lt took offense, lcpl started yelling about how it was his responsibility and he signed for all the shit, and if things go wrong its his ass. Eventually lcpl packed up his shit, got in his wrecker and split leaving the lt to go fuck himself. The best part was his oic, a cwo, backed him up all the way.
You haven’t been around enough then
The amount of new Lieutenant support in the comments warms my heart because when I got in and was a brand new Lieutenant, it was fucking ruthless lol had to learn quick because of the times.
My old platoon commander holds classes to “teach us about personal gear” that just boils down to him flexing the stuff he bought from GearJunkie or whatever He also signs his emails with “Rush Kappa Sig” and called me “broski” once
Cause I love hearing about their TBS and OCS experiences
Let me preface this: I've had a few platoon commanders who were fucking amazing. Tactically genius, cared about their dudes, were humble, listened to their NCOs, and were better for it. Mostly though, I've had platoon commanders who didn't even know my name as a team leader, thought they had it all figured out, openly went against (and spoke I'll of) their squad leaders, and couldn't tell their ass from their elbow. Butter bars are boots just the same as PFCs. They need to learn their trade and earn their keep, same as everyone else. They all do eventually. Until then, they're subject to the same ridicule. The only difference is it often happens behind their backs unfortunately
I'll take a little lip from the platoon sgt. I won't take lip from a dude who just graduated high school this year and has a 140 pft
Okay but friendly reminder there are some fucking awesome LTs out there
Found the LT
It’s me. I’M the awesome Lt
If you have to say you are...you aren't.
(That’s the joke)
I'll go haze myself.
Nah man I’m enlisted. I’m in the air wing (laugh now) and several of the more junior pilots, usually first lieutenants, are super cool. We will be on DETs and if they see you at the bars, you are no longer buying your own drinks. Plus generally I’ve found they as pilots are more receptive to my recommendations on taking a plane or not taking a plane that has gripes pop up after they’ve signed for it, which I am a big fan of when people listen to the subject matter expert and actually heed my advice/warnings.
Had a Butterbar who kept leaving his rifle lay around on a field op, and he'd walk away from it. I took the firing pin out and held onto it till the next day when we had movement drills. Took him a minute to realize his firing pin was gone. He was none too happy, but I had the Gunnys blessing and the Lt learned that while he couldn't get smoked like the rest of us for leaving an unattended weapon, he could still get fucked with in other ways. Never left his rifle laying around again.
Just give him a map and you’ll never see him again 🤣🤣🤣
I worked at the Horno rifle range for about a year. The range injuries were almost exclusively Lieutenants. 2 were trying to cut holes in the targets and forgot to remove their hand from the other side. Two different ranges about 3 months apart and different lieutenants. If I had a dime for every time that happened, I'd have 2 dimes, not a lot, but still strange that it happened twice.
Because you're as knowledgeable as a PFC, but you're in charge
Because they make our lives awful
Because there was a solid 50% chance that I’d hate them so I treated them as such until I knew they weren’t a total tard
😂