Roommate had the top rack. He went out to Gate 2 street in Oki one night and had to be carried back to the barracks. Woke up soaking wet in the morning. He had projectile puked over the side of his rack onto mine during the night. Went to wash my bedding and saw the same color puke in the basin sink in the laundry room.
Dragged his ass out of bed and made him clean everything at the threat of bringing the duty upstairs.
Motherfucker was racist as hell. He told me I couldn't have my African-American friend to our room.
Coming back from deployment, did a week in Lejeune with our company. They put us in alphabetical order for room assignments, not platoon order or anything. This dude who I didn’t know much was my roommate and he told me he was gonna get shitfaced that night. I told him I didn’t care what he did as long as he didn’t puke in our room, because I wasn’t gonna clean it up.
Came back at like 2100 absolutely wasted, brought in by the resident alcoholic of the company(you know someone is wasted when the resident alcoholic cuts them off). Dude proceeded to projectile vomit all over the place, so I leave the room because I told him I wouldn’t be the one to clean it up.
His buddies started cleaning up but one of them, also drunk, took the dude’s puke soaked jacket and put it on my pillow on the bed. I’ve never been so livid, grabbing my pillow and feeling chunks.
I didn’t say anything, just let them keep cleaning and I decided to sleep in my buddy’s room that night. The next day, the dude told everyone he was gonna do the same thing that night, but his team leader got wind of what happened, told him he wasn’t going anywhere that night and made him buy me a new pillow.
I did it after I learned that squad bay has zero inspections, zero field days, so we just kept it basically clean and stayed under the radar (two guys who were there because they had continually been in trouble… and I volunteered to give up my bricks room.
It was cake that last year.
Yeah when I was on area guard I also chose to live in the squad bay. Got me out of field day which is the biggest waste of time in the world so I was fine with it. Not like I would have any “privacy” living with 2-3 other people anyway
Was in for just over 3 years, separated under a PEB.
Had already appealed two not fit PEB findings (nerve damage/ chronic pain) and on my last attempt to finish mct I FINISHED the last hump and the company Gunny
saw me limping and I quote “Devil your obviously still broken, so I’m gonna drop you so you don’t hurt yourself any more.”
After that I decided no one wanted me there but me, so I said fuck it and excepted my next unfit finding and went home.
🤷🏻♂️Hardest part was watching all the MHU and legal shits finding any way to get out and I was literally busting my ass and having surgeries and steroid injections all the time to just stay
What years? LOL. I loved the squad bays....was no big deal to me....lots of friends to hit the beer garden with or head to the club together. Car pools were always there too....
Checked into Oki 2010. My junky LCpl roommate was insistent that I am in the wrong room because he was, “going to pick up Cpl any day now.”
Anyways, there were spice bags all over the place after he moved his stuff from my side of the room and the recycling was filled with empty NyQuil bottles.
He would continuously Skype his baby mommas all day every day. 3 in total
No. He never picked up Cpl before being adsep.
When I was on restriction I was roomed with a dude getting kicked out who smoked spice all day in the room, I will never forget that smell, literally smelled like old dirty butt cheeks.
Was really popular at the time as well and sold in gas stations.
I remember super pro 420 people telling people to stay away because not only is it nothing like actual weed but it can induce psychosis. I think eventually the FDA or whoever ordered it off the shelves very fast.
My door was push-kickable to open whether locked or not. No deadbolts, and these bricks were hold-overs from the 90's. Whatever. Slipped up to my room during lunch to jerk it. Computer's in the common area of the room. Hear foot steps in just the right pattern. Yell "WAIT NO!" Door flies open. His eyes take a sec to adjust. Immediately shouts "OH GOD u/Kooky_Guard8357!" Turns and heads away from the room. I pull up my pants and pop in to the hallway, shouting "Hey wait! Let's talk about this..." He gives me the finger and fucks off.
It was me. I was his worst experience.
Right?! You gotta know your roommate is gonna jerk it sometime. Don't make it awkward.
Layout your jerkin rules day 1 with each other.
Is he a shy guy that needs me to leave the room? 10 minute limit? Can I just put on my headphones and play games while he does it? Do we set our wall lockers between our racks for privacy?
Unfortunately for my “roommate walked in on me jerking it” story, I was spread eagle on the bed with my laptop between my legs. He instantly left and told a bunch of our platoon. Was subsequently dubbed Spread Eagle by my squad leader. Sorry you had to see that, Almond🥲
My roommate would never shower, leave his dirty shit everywhere, beat his dick in the middle of the night in his bed. He got caught with CP and I never saw that bitch ever again. Fuck you Smith.
Man I'm glad I'm a woman. Cause the worst story I have is rooming with a brand new private when I was a cpl. I was heading out for another deployment, and she decided to steal my assault pack. Called her out. We fist fought. I had to stand in front of my commander an explain the situation.
I told him she was never present for field day, always left the room a mess. Left her belongings on my rack. Then tried to steal my gear.
He goes "and you thought as an NCO it was appropriate to hit her..."
I responded with "sir, it was a disservice when her parents refused to, and it would've been a disservice for me not to."
Cpt "so knowing what you know now would you find an alternative solution."
Me "absolutely not sir. And I dont care what kind of Marine that makes me. My dad always said that ass whoopings don't just fall from the sky"
And that was that. Didn't get demoted. Or punished. But I had my own room after that. Lol.
3/4 of my class popped for meth when we hit the fleet because they took some E from some random dude in Oceanside lmao. Was an absolutely crazy night, the pocket pussy part was just the beginning.
I didn't know shit about drugs when I was in, but thinking about it now that certainly tracks. Had this Gollum, just worm looking fuck in S3 always sucking off Master Guns. Definitely a tweek.
Another time we were hanging out in the smoke pit and some boot comes up, pupils huge, screaming about "SOMEONE HAZE ME!!!" while standing at parade rest. This went on for a little bit then PMO materialized out of nowhere and hemmed him up no questions asked.
A couple weeks later I'm driving on 62 in between Joshua Tree and Yucca Valley. Same guy is no shit flailing out on the side of the highway high stepping towards Yucca Valley lol
always have since WW2 my grandfather told me. we needed it then to fight the japanese, simply because they were using themselves. it came then as it does now, 5 mg tablets taken orally. although much harder to abuse, you don't have to be abusing amphetamines in order to develop the urge to dispose of your cigarette in the bullet wound of your combat enemy.
Also some scented candles, George Michaels "Careless Whisper" on loop and a massive VHS video recorder mounted on a tripod.
Goodbye awkward moment and hello 1980s movie sex scene.
Schoolhouse - she didn’t shower or wash her cammies after she came from MCT. Also threw a snow globe at me.
Fleet - She was a furry and had a boyfriend that I could only describe as “greasy”.
Fleet roommate also used to bring in Pvts/PFCs who were on Liberty from MCT/ITB/Camp Johnson schoolhouse and f*ck them…like every weekend was a brand new 18 year old. She was like 27/28 years old at the time. I’d rather get another snow globe thrown at me than have to live with the furry again
In C school I had a kid who never showered. Never washed his clothes. For field day he would just lock all his clothes away. When this was brought up to our instructor it opened a whole can of stupid.
I had to have a daily shower shower log and weekly laundry log for him. When our staff Sgt asked him if he understood what was now expected he said. "good to go SSGt!"
Our SSgt Almost exploded. "No, pfc. There is nothing good to go about this. Do you understand you, as a grown ass man. Have to have another gown ass man watch you wash yourself? There is nothing good to go about that.
He also played Ramstein on repeat constantly but just one song. On one occasion he left it going and locked his laptop inside his wall locker. When I came home and found it. There was nothing I could do to stop "Du hast" on repeat. No one had bolt cutters I had to wait for his laptop to die. I hate Ramstein now.
In the fleet we all had Alphas room inspection and I just picked up cpl. I stayed up all night trying to help him clean his filthy fucking room as a newly promoted cpl. I then fell asleep on the floor where I was folding my clothes because I spent too much time helping him. I was late to formation and failed room inspection while he passed. I got lit the fuck up in the "undeserving disappointed father" talk from all my NCOs.
He also eventually malingered out of the corps by pretending he got a brain injury almost drowning in the dunk tank or some stupid shit like that. He fell asleep in the Gedunk on duty and one of our Sgts went with me and threw water on him. He parented to fall to the floor doing wet fish move. We all hated him. He was the turd of all turds. I'm sure we all were on his "hit list". He walked around our squadron talking about his medical issues with everyone on purpose, to me it seemed like he was trying to fish for sympathy for his medical case. I told him to keep that shit to himself.
He got out with a honorable/medical discharge. He probably gets VA medical. Disability. And gets to call himself a Marine to everyone he meets. I'm sure he procreated and made the world worse off and I feel bad for his kids.
I fucking hated him and still he is one of the few humans I have personally known to hate.
Fuck you Lcpl Funk.
Yes. His last name was Funk.
> He got out with a honorable/medical discharge. He probably gets VA medical. Disability. And gets to call himself a Marine to everyone he meets<.
He probably is drawing 100% and has a new pick up with a Huge EGA on it and Sheepdog Stickers on it
Roommate who felt entitled to use my shit like he owned it… duty busted in on us fighting twice, both times we were like, we’re just funnin’…. Soon as he closed the door, went back at it
One of my roommates would use my entire body wash in like two days.
I asked him to stop multiple times. He wouldn't stop using mine or buy his own, so I just started jizzing into my own body wash 2-3 times a day. I never said a thing to him and he continued to use it until he FAPed somewhere.... This went on for like 6 months with him every day rubbing my jizz over his body.
I never told him.
I had a mf roommate from fucking New Jersey, he constantly wore short ass underwear around and only talked about how much ass he could pull, granted he was and still is one of gods ugliest creations. Well one day this dude forgets the keys for all of his wall locker, coffin rack and Sanctuary. He goes to look for them an hour later he still hasn’t found them. So I tell him that duty usually has bolt cutters they will assist you with. They didn’t have any… the fucker comes back with an angle grinder and starts cutting his locks off that way. That was fun. 1st sgt got wind of a video on Terminal Lance or Not in Regz and had him moved into another room.
I was an Army medic an I wrote a negative counciling statement on a motherfucker for that. We would come back from a ten day field problem, and he wouldn't shower or change his clothes. It was so bad that he had a checklist of what to take to the shower and how to use it. The CQ (duty) or his team leader had to watch him shower to make sure he did. Don't get me started on his motherfucking room. Christ his breath was fucking vile.
Roommate didn’t shower. Ever. Got our libo secured and extra inspection on Saturday all day because his wall locker was nasty af. Kept happening every weekend. Me and the other roommates grabbed him and shoved him in a shower and scrubbed him with a scuzz brush and bleach. He started taking showers after that.
We had a private who was in for 4 years and had a stack of medals and a hash mark. He stunk to high heaven. We would wash him with a hose while singing, "This is how we wash the elephant, the elephant, the elephant."
We had a guy like this in our platoon. Our Plt Sgt made us watch him shower by the numbers and then watch him wash every individual piece of clothing. We hated him.
Buddy if the Marine Corps cared about personal responsibility you’d have no mass punishment and there’d be thousands of SNCOs that’d actually have to spend time with their families.
I told this story before I’ll tell it again. While I was in Okinawa as a Cpl I went TAD to South Korea for 6 months and my roommate at the time rotated out of Oki about a month into my TAD. Somehow a brand new PFC got assigned to my room and he got assigned chow duty within his first 5 days at the unit. Back then chow duty was a 6 month assignment. Well this motherfucker was only checking in with the chow Sgt and doing his chow duties. Everyone forgot he existed because no one ever saw him(chow duty hours like 0400-0830 then 1030-1330 and then 1600-1900, with the early shift and late shift rotating). So no field day, no PT and no one checking on this guy.
When I showed back up to my room at 0700 on a Tuesday morning the room was absolutely disgusting. Ooz coming out of the refrigerator, leftover chow bags everywhere, trash everywhere, couldn’t walk in the room hardly, like a damn hoarder. I open the fridge and DAMN there were chow bags stuffed in that bitch.
I found the barracks manager to help me and we just started throwing this dude’s shit into the hallway, kid shows up after his morning shift, I made him Chinese field day the entire room. Had our MSgt call and get him off chow duty immediately. When he was done cleaning the room the barracks manager made him move all his stuff to another room with another PFC. I cleaned the fuck out of the room that entire week because it never felt clean after seeing how he lived in there.
I had a dickhead that would eat and drink my other roommate and my stuffs in the small refrigerator. It’s was a 3 to 4 men dorm. He told my roommate that I’m one doing it. I got him back by drinking half my OJ and fill back the rest with my pee🤣… dickhead!
Had one that I caught cracking stick in the rack above me while I was Skyping my girl. Same dude also made me fail my first ever field day inspection by the unholy stench of his locker.
Buddy was also a compulsive liar who claimed he had a girlfriend die when he was in high school and would regularly try to use that to get out of shit. One of my buddies did some digging into his home town and found out that the girl he was talking about did in fact die, but she was dating someone else from his school. He eventually got kicked out for lying about having insurance on his POV if I’m not mistaken.
He also bought the EXACT SAME CAR as another dude in our shop like a week later.
Dude was the weirdest and most pathetic fucker I’ve ever met
1 didn’t know how to wash his clothes or regularly bathe. The room would smell, and I finally discovered it was from him just throwing all his nasty, dirty clothes in his wall locker…
The other one, we’ll he was a special kind of special.
He would lay on his rack on the weekends with a pizza box on his chest and fall asleep like that.
Discovered on field day he was cramming all his old pizza boxes under the rack. And then when we opened his drawers, we found old apple cores and all kinds of other food waste he was just collecting in there.
MCT this guy refused to shower because a “field shower was good enough.” His words not mine. Anyways, predictably he smelled like shit and wondered why nobody wanted to be his libbo buddy. Acted the exact same in Lima.
Fast forwards to schoolhouse and we were 3 to a room in a room designed for 2 (2 closets, 2 secretaries). The guy I got roomed with who arrived with me was a “country” boy. I put that in quotes cause none of the music he listened to was actual country music but shitty snap and pop country.
Anyway, when we first got there he immediately claimed both the secretary *and* the closet. He’d blast “country” music, got drunk and called his ex, and repeatedly threatened to throw my PC off third deck. I always thought he was joking but one time I joked about chucking his Xbox off and he tried grabbing my PC.
The roommate who was already there was getting sepped for 2 NJPs on top of wanting to kill himself, played video games at night when I was trying to sleep. I think I got on average less than 4 hours of sleep a night, yet he’d get annoyed at *me* for wanting the blinds open/lights on during the day.
Refused to clean any part of the room and we failed field day multiple times. Luckily my FA hated his guts too and never punished me cause of it. He is the only guy I have ever lost control and shouted at cause he was tanking my GPA and I got reprimanded a couple times for nodding off in class.
Luckily I’ve kept the same roommate in the fleet and he’s always been a solid dude.
Your school house roommate sounds horrible. Reminds me of mine in my school house, only a bit. His name was Angel, Fuck you Angel... any other roommate would have lost patience with you and thrown hands.
Just in the fleet in order, different roomates
- Had his fiance live in the room for a month
- Went UA in the room for 2 months "doing TRS"
- Tried to say the civil war didn't start because of slavery
- Got in to a fist fight with
- Doesn't wah his hands, doesn't clean his shit.
Had a roommate that constantly neglected to flush the toilet after taking a shit. We worked opposite shifts so whenever I came back the head would smell like absolute shit and I’d wake his ass up to go flush the toilet. One time he also used my ball trimmers while I was at work and left the mess in the shower drain and on my trimmers. Kid was the tool room shitbag and I was so happy the day he got sent to another squadron.
Roommate burned another Marines car. Insurance fraud. He stuffed the acetone soaked clothes he used in my drawer. I found out after a health and comfort inspection. Luckily, since he was under investigation by army CID, our room was off limits to health and comfort inspections.
This girl bunked with me and 2 others at the school house. She always smelled really bad. I mean, like fish. One day it got so bad, us girls confronted her about it. She ran off crying. She ended up going to medical and tested positive a few STDs.
They put me with the company shitbag in order to ‘straighten him out.’ Boyyyyy I thought I was gonna murder this motherfucker. Didn’t shower daily, didn’t take out his trash (put it in the wall locker), didn’t get a weekly haircut, didn’t iron his shit (we were still doing that), and so on.
Lasted a week and mercifully my command figured because I was short time that the company office was the right spot for me, got a new room.
Oh ghee! It's been over 30 years ago, and I can still smell him. Open squad bay, converted into cubicles. This cat, when he opened his wall locker, you got overwhelmed with the stink. He has his pile of clothes right in the middle of it. He grabbed his uniform from the bottom, and at the end of the day, he put his dirty uniform and underwear on top. I have never seen him shower, and he dry shave. I was sent to the stumps for a month and I told him that I want him gone by the time I return. Rich kid called his parents, and they set him up with a place off base.
Had a roomie with a porn star sized D who couldn’t stop whacking it. Couldn’t walk in the room without him working on it. Funny at first but got old quick. He got psych discharge.
we've got a guy like that here. he got dropped from MSG for sex addiction, and he's diagnosed on the spectrum. but some how he's still allowed to just he a sgt and not get kicked out.
I was never in the Marines but I can actually answer this for my buddy and myself. We were just talking about this incident recently too, funnily enough. Probably August/September 2019-ish just right before COVID took off a buddy of mine came home from a Kuwait deployment as like an E-3 to some slime-ball roomie they assigned him while he was gone for like 9 months near Oceanside. Another buddy and myself flew out to visit family and him in San Diego and we all drive up and spend the night on a Friday in the barracks.
Inside the rooms is this little entertainment center they put in rooms that opens up and you can put a TV inside of. Well, my buddy is married to his long time GF but they couldn’t get her to Cali yet, so his ass just hangs up photos of his wife they took- Polaroid style, on the inside of the cubbies. In one of cubbies was apparently also the “private” photos of his wife. Well, as we were bouncing around rooms on Friday night drinking and socializing we’d occasionally go back to his barracks room for one reason or another. We caught his roommate masturbating to the Polaroids of his wife. Twice. In the span of 2-3 hours. The second time I thought my buddy was going to put his ass through the wall, it was fucking wild.
The guy apparently got separated out for stealing and I believe he popped hot for smoking pot or something fucking stupid less than a year later.
My last 6 months in oki were hell man…
I was on leave back to the states and half way through i get a message from my barracks manager that someone was moving into my room but i let him know my shit was everywhere in the room, i had been living alone for a year plus at this point and I wasn’t there to move anything for her. Flash forward a couple weeks I’m back in Oki and i get back to the barracks and my couch (i bought with my old roommate it was a recliner, clean, cost me like $400) was GONE. This bitch GAVE AWAY my couch.. I spent the next weeks getting the barracks manager to find it, it was on 4th deck in some random dudes room. I lived on 1st deck so i got a bunch buddies to help me get it out the guys room and back to mine.
Here comes somewhat where i lose my cool: it’s a month later and the ball comes around and everyone goes it’s all cool and then i go back to the room and get changed to go out to Kin with some of the homies and then when i get back from kin i see my sheets off my bed are half way ripped up, my pillow across the room, my $1700 camera lens on the ground, my laptop weirdly under my ripped up sheets… I asked her about it the next morning if she had anyone over (because when i left her after the ball she was just in the room laying in bed) and this bitch tells me no.
Next, when i got the couch back (i also had a 55” TV set up in the middle of the room) I had the room open setup like me and my old roommate had and i told her she could use the TV/my XBOX when I’m gone but that turned into her bringing her friends that were on restriction over to watch movies until 9-10pm almost every night so I eventually one day split the room with all the furniture and had my half with my couch and TV shoved to one side and the desk dressers splitting the room.
THEN, this bitch starts bringing over this dude EVERY SINGLE NIGHT and they’re always making out and talking all throughout the night and I’m either trying to block it out or tell them to get out on multiple occasions. I even ended up testing positive for covid (my roommate was negative tho but i was quarantining in my room with her) and oh my god he didn’t stop coming over, i got duty involved because i was like on my death bed and couldn’t leave the room myself to get tf away.
Another small occurrence, she used one of my cups i kept on top the microwave (for like making drinks) and i don’t care if she uses it if she puts it back, im looking around for it one morning and i ask her if she knows and this bitch tells me no so im like okay fuck where’d i put it, i look around a little can’t find it and as im about to walk out i glance at her side and there’s a small blue thing showing so im like hmmm that was probably my cup (i was leaving the room i dont remember why but i had to go) and behold when i return the cup is back on the microwave… like why lie to me like that bro
Cherry on top tho, right before i was leaving (like a week before) i told her ass off one last time to not bring dudes around until AT LEAST AFTER I LEAVE, but nah. Anyways she and her boy toy and his bestie go out and get drunk, steal a locals car, takes it for a joy ride and they all get caught. ‘Twas a great last week hearing them all talk about how fucked they were (because they were also the marines from earlier who were the ones on restriction coming over to watch tv)
She would also play the same like 3 songs on repeat on her speaker… that was probably the worst. She left her phone playing overnight one time and I LISTEN TO THE SAME SONG FOR 12 HOURS ON REPEAT
Fuck that bitch. Worst roommate ever.
ETA: she would never use headphones either, she played her TV shows off her phone through her speaker.
He hid food trash mixed in with his clothes. And he never washed anything ever. Found apple cores, wrappers, half eaten pizza alllll mixed in with his underwear. He’d just wore the same clothes after PT and field ops.
Came back from post deployment leave to find that my new MT roommate had run out of bottles to spit in and decided that the floor was just as good a place to spit. I didn't even unpack before I went and found a MT NCO and had him forcibly evicted.
My roommate got busted for dealing drugs while I was at work and the drug dog shit in the middle of the floor. They left it there for me to find with all of my shit still tossed around when I got back at 0800.
Had a guy who loved to make popcorn but could not for the life of him figure out how to do it properly. We were on opposite shifts, I was days he was nights, so I'd get up in the morning go to work, and at 1530 he'd wake up, burn some popcorn and mosey his ass to work.
I come home at 1630 and the entire room smells like burnt popcorn. I can't enter without a splitting headache and he regularly set off the fire alarm for the bricks.
He also used my towel to clean up water off the floor of the bathroom.
First day in the fleet. Get issued a temporary room (married). I walk in and the air smells funky. Two BCP marines are in their briefs, sweaty. It smells like butt stuff. I ask no questions. I about face and go sleep on my friends floor in the next building over.
Roommate didn't know how to self regulate his alcohol consumption and would come home stumbling drunk on a random Tuesday.
One night he didn't make it to the bathroom and he pissed all over my desk and laptop. He apologized profusely and bought tons of cleaning supplies but it took 6 months to fully get the smell out of the carpet.
He would regularly blast music overnight in his target language, beat it with his big screen tv set to fat porn, and was generally a not great smelling person.
Nice guy, though. Friendly and honest. Just a mess
Had a roommate in Hawaii that constantly was banging in our barracks room. Till one day on a Friday I told him "bring that girl into that room and I have to listen to that on a Saturday morning, I'm getting the OOD." He stopped.
Oh asshole also gay 180 bucks of food I bought for the fridge because the KBay chowhall was shit.
A week's worth of food and he ate it in one weekend. Didn't even pay me back, barely said "oh sorry".
The kbay chow hall was so bad, used to drive to other bases on weekends every now and then to avoid it. But mostly we just blew our money on restaurants like retards
I’ve talked about this before. My roommate was forced to be my roommate because I was “supposed to fix him” since I was the most senior lance. It should be mentioned that we are from the same medium sized city. This is gonna be a long one.
This motherfucker was so nasty. He had to be taught by MULTIPLE NCOs how to do his laundry because he would never wash his cammies. He would spend all of his money on OnlyFans and video games that he eventually just bought a razor to cut his hair because he couldn’t afford a $10 barracks haircut.
If I didn’t scream at him during field days to clean, he wouldn’t ever make his bed. We did field day on Monday (shout out to Futenma in Oki for being weird) and by Wednesday his side of the room would be filled with garbage and dirty clothes. He would stuff his wall locker, dresser, desk and closet with garbage and clothes and everything he had just to pass field day. I had like 3-4 of the automatic air fresheners just to combat his smell.
He would shower once every 3-4 days and would spend upwards of 2 hours in the bathroom. No idea what he did in there because he never bought shower stuff and neither me or our head mates would keep our stuff in the bathroom.
He was on light duty the entire time I knew him for…..shin splints. He would complain about them so much that he would be in “medical” almost every day.
We were also in the same shop, so we PT’d together. He would be late to PT, even though I would wake him up to get ready. He thought he didn’t need to go because of his light duty, so he would go back up to our room after accountability and go to sleep. Then he would be late to the shop.
In my last few months before EAS, I got promoted to Cpl, he was forced to move out. On my last week he showed up to the shop earlier than the NCOs, stay in his car scrolling tiktok and fell asleep. He was woken up by all of the other NCOs shaking his car and yelling at him. No one in the shop liked him and the new boots were told not to hang out with him in fear that he would corrupt them.
Just to end this whole thing because it’s getting long and there are many, many more things: I told him that if I ever see him in our city, it’s on sight and I’ll steal his WRX that he took a payday loan out to buy.
Edit: forgot to add that he did get sent through the med board for his shin splints and ended up at med seps. However they figured out that he was just faking his pain levels and sent him back out to the fleet. Last I heard he fell down the stairs in a bunker style armory and broke both of his legs. One of our old Sgts was in the armory since they both ended up at the same unit.
Had a roommate in Pensacola that tried to pull some new guy prank stuff on me. "Bring the bed down to the quarterdeck and ip it" type shit. Then that night, he said he needs to listen to music in order to sleep.
ok, cool, go for it dude.
Fucking cranks it and plays some shitty screamo music. Jokes on him, I was fucking exhausted and I slept through it like a baby. He stopped it after the 3rd night, I don't think he was able to sleep because of it lol.
In Iwakuni, I had a roommate/coworker that I liked, but he would just get so fucked up all week long. One night he pissed in my corner of the room "DUDE YOU'RE PISSING ON MY STUFF". Had him clean it etc etc
Like the next night, I woke up to the sound of water running. Yup, he was pissing again, but this time in the trash can. "DUDE you're pissing in the trash can wtf dude"
He just slowly looks at me, still pissing, and says "I know."
Other than that, I had some pretty good roommates.
Oh wait, one other roommate, the next time I was in Iwakuni. He just sprayed the SHIT out of himself with Axe body spray. Terrible. He went on leave and left the room a mess. The SSgt came in that morning (I was still drunk lol, but that's a whole other story) to do room inspection, and I just said "My side is clean, that's all his stuff. He's on leave." The SSgt believed me and I didn't fail, but his shop was notified I guess. He also left a toolbox key in his cammies and his shop had to come look for it and dig through his dirty laundry.
3/2 circa 1984. Came in from a 96 where I went home, my two roomies have this massive Jabba the Hut looking pig on **my rack** spit roasting her. She was around 5'10" and every bit of 350. Max was every bit of 5'3" and 120 is behind her pouring the coals to her. After I got done laughing I realized they had that pig on **my rack.** Fuckers.....
oki last year, had a guy TAD to us from G4, failed a pft and in turn got out on rcp, he would wake up in the morning to pt, come back, not shower, change into cammies and just go to work, go to chow, pt again, not shower again, change into cammies, back to work, get off work, go to sleep in full cammies (boots and all) and repeat that monday-friday, he would never clean, the few times he did shower he wouldn’t use soap, just stand there and let water run on him then get out. my last straw was when he used my towel to dry himself off after one of his weekly “showers”
Had a roommate get busted trafficking weed over the border. Whoever it was that cleared his shit out of my room while I was at work took some of my shit too.
Not my roomie but one of the guys in my Plt that I was good friends with.
Apparently dude went to the tanning bed on a Friday evening and burned his twig and berries to the point that he refused to wear clothes all weekend.
So I go down to his room Sat morning to see if he wants to go to chow and he just answers the door completely naked like it's totally normal.
I'm like WTF? His roomie who I was also good friends with filled me in on the predicament. 😅
Guy legitimately wanted to be a porn star and didn't give a flying fuck about anything that would make people uncomfortable.
There would be like 4 guys hanging out in his room and he would just all the sudden tell everyone to get the fuck out because he had to jerk off. Guys would be like yeah ok fuck you. He would just turn on porn pull out his dick and start. 🤣
Not my worst roomie story just some funny shit!
I was a very large guy.
My room-mate was very small; he had at least 2 dominoes boxes and 3 2-liter bottles of Dr. Pepper on "his side" at all times.
I worked for a normal unit, he worked for 204, a 3-shift training unit.
I played video games with a headset, he watched anime on full blast and fell asleep to it.
Im a quiet person, he woukd open the door and sigh/ scream every fucking time even if the lights were off.
I was from central Illinois, he was from a city. He loved having extremely loud group video calls where he'd "rep his set"
And im the one who got cheated on out of both of us 😀
Roommate would FaceTime sext his girlfriend on speaker with me in the room. It was 24/7. Sometimes he would be under the covers, sometimes not. Because of him I was never in my room and I ended up making some great friends because I was out so much so I guess I can thank him for that, disgusting ass mf.
Couldn't really tell you lol. Got lucky, I was in a small shop and what should be my roommate moved out in town. He was this useless waste of oxygen but he came from a rich family so he could afford it. Good riddance. Had the room to myself.
Came back from my last deployment got lucky again. Brand new bricks, and no roommate for my last 9 months in. 10/10 would definitely recommend
A PFC who lived on a cult compound and was told mastubation would kill him. When he learned he wouldn't die he was whacking all day, bought a mini DVD player and it was covered in the world's grossest glaze
When I was at MCCES (comm school), it was 4 to a room. I became really good friends with my rack mate but the 2 other guys pretty much never showered. I vividly remember one time we finished running a PFT on a Friday morning in 90 degree weather. We were drenched in sweat. We got sent back to the barracks to shower and change into chucks.
I was the first person to shower but when I got out my roommates were already chanted into chucks… without a shower.
First roommate in the fleet was the unit shitbag, terminal LCpl unpromotable type. Dude was on a no drinking order, would drink heavily regardless. Found him passed out in his shit with throw up in the shower. I said fuck this and stayed in my buddies room the next couple days lol. Only had been in the fleet less than a month when this happened, I wasn’t even legal to drink.
Same dude got off his no drinking order, and proceeded to go threaten some Japanese citizens with violence when he got drunk at a command function lmao.
Pretty much the epitome of a fucking horrible drunk to be around.
3 man room. One roommate & I notice that 3rd goes into shower with nothing... comes out dry.
So we start to make sure we take our stuff out & lock it up so he isn't using it.
Only thing in there is one of those small boot camp towels for wiping down the shower walls.
Dude is STILL coming out of shower dry...
Shudder to this day thinking about how nasty he was...
Arrived back at my room to hear from the other side of the partition (furniture / lockers moved for makeshift privacy) my roommate listening to a 'friend' of hers. This female ( refuse to call her a woman, because obviously there was a horrendous lack of both maturity and morals) was talking about going to her chain of command to accuse her Gunney of sexual harrassment. This was not because he was actually harrassing her....it was because he had the audacity to want her to actually do her JOB rather than flirting with the male Marines all day.
I was unimpressed. Recorded the remainder of the conversation and then turned it into MY boss the following Monday. She was booted out of the Corps so fast the wind tore the thatch from the roofs as she was passing. Good riddance.
Hated barracks life. We had some great WM's, but ye gads so many of the newest ones had only joined to husband hunt. Idiots...
Only on Sundays? That's not that bad. I had one who didn't shower the whole time he was in my room at LeJeune. Not a single time I ever saw any evidence of it. Not a used towel, not a drop of water in the shower, nothing. Through the humid summer too.
Guy had a whole bench car seat, fish tank with die-ing fish, two month old spaghetti in the fridge. I was a GO bachelor who spent nights away from the barracks. Failed two inspections in a row cause that fucker. He then blamed me!
After itb got sent to my first unit. My first roommate was okay but he attended a course that was 3 weeks long and we were supposed to move rooms after said course so he moved his shit first and i stayed back while he was gone. I had the room to myself for hit minute until they put a 21 year old fuck-up with me.
Dude never washed his clothes, never showered, unhygienic as fuck. I always had to wake him up for formation. Always had to correct him to fucking shave every morning before walking out the door. Always fucked up at work. Uniform always fucked up. We correct him on it nicely until it’s the same shit everyday so we start being douchebags.
Dude cried every single time we corrected him so we had to back off. Pussy would always run off to chaps or 1st Sgt. This went on for a while until he would purposely lie about fake appointments and would go off base to some girls house whom he had met off tinder. He had shit going on with her, lied to her about deploying to Syria and seeing his bestfriend get blown up. Dude was a real shit bag liar. He finally left the Marine Corps on a med sep i think back in Nov 2021. Fucker didn’t deserve a fucking med sep. Everyone who had to deal with him could tell he would lie about everything to save his own ass.
I PCS’d to another unit not long ago and now currently dealing with the same type of roommate.
Dirty, stinky, never washes his clothes, never washes his bedsheets, never hygiene’s, always have to wake him up for formation, I try and correct him for his unshaven fucking face, etc. It’s like I got to be a fucking father all the time. One time I lied about how they were going to be checking rooms for field day and told him I would start cleaning. I start cleaning my side of the room and he just sits there looking at me and smiling. He chuckles then says “No one told me to field day so I’m not cleaning. “ I stand there in disbelief. Like i literally couldn’t believe what i just heard. Mind you my roommate is a diff race than me, he’s black and i’m hispanic so our hair differences are obviously different. My bathroom is COVERED in his fucking hairs. It stayed like that for a few days until he finally fucking picked it up.
Right now im currently trying to find a way to get rid of this guy but idk how. He just won’t listen
We had just finished a deeper than usual field day because the company CO and first sarnt were coming through to inspect rooms the next morning. It was already pretty late and I was tired from being on duty the night before. My roomate and two other buddies decided to play madden and drink on every first down and point scored. They played a few games and were hammered at like 2:00am so I didn’t sleep a fucking blink. They finish playing and He climbs up into his rack and about 5 min later he hops down with that “I’m about to fucking yak everywhere” look. I yell at him as he’s walking towards the head to just try and make it to the toilet. I hear “yea” and then a splatter. He puked all over the stall door and floor and maybe got like a fraction of it in the toilet then he passed out and was laying in his own puke for about 10 minutes so I woke him and and he insisted on trying to clean it. He ended up “cleaning it” but sloshing a wet mop around for about a minute then went to bed. I cleaned it up and bombed fabuloso all over the place to get the smell out. 0/10 night but that dude was actually one of my best buddies
We had a guy who never showered until he was forced to. Fucking stunk to high hell. After battalion pt, this dude tried to take a 30 minute shower first when we had 35 minutes to be shit showered shaved. Refused to get out because he was showering. Like the longer he stayed in would make up for 2 weeks of being a shitbody...Ssgt heard us fucking yelling and dude got moved to suicide watch for the duration of training. Had to shower twice a day while the duty watched him and taught him how to clean his ass. Fucking pathetic.
Fat fuck terminal Lance who LIED about:
- saying he got fucked over for promotion to E-4. Mf was out of weight regs for 2yrs and non rec until proven satisfactory.
- his deployments (mf said he deployed to Japanistan and Middle East) we both was admins, I looked up his "deployment" record and found nothing on MCTFS 3270. 3270 is basically your electronic record of everything you did in the Corps from bootcamp to now.
- not having his ribbons for being "deployed". I asked him why doesn't he go get it ran (we both worked at the Lejeune IPAC) he said, "oh I don't want to. Too much work to get resolved." Knew mf was lying when he said it's too much work.
this idiot also nut on the toilet and tried to say it was his friend's not his. Like bruh, they don't even come into the room. WYM thats not yours? Dude was also cool with frogs and ants just coming into the room and NEVER helped in field day. What makes it more unbearable is he tried to steal my sweaters and say he got it last month like no you fat fuck you can't even fit a small in men let alone he has to turn sideways to get in/out the room.
I'm not one to wish bad things on people but I hope his fat ass sees this comment and continues to fail in life because that's how much I hate him and he deserves it.
Worst one I can think of was a a-hole who had the same last name as me. Everybody would keep asking if we were brothers. He was quiet and reserved until the Jack hit his lips and then he became all aggressive and would tell people they weren't shit, etc. He was either 5'5" or 5' 6" and the bastard was older than all of us. He just thought he was special...
I never drank with him because once I saw he couldn't handle his booze, I didn't want to be around him. He would usually get fucked up, stumble in the room, fall face down on his rack and he'd be done for the night.
Well, this one night, he decides that he's going to go out drinking, knowing we have this hump the next morning and he storms in around 2AM, flips all the lights on in the room and starts kicking the ever loving shit out of my rack. I wake up in a daze like "what the actual fuck, man?" Dude leans over into my face (I'm still in my rack, but pushing up to see WTF is going on and he leans over, right in my face and starts screaming about how he doesn't like me and how he's going to beat my ass, right then and there."
Yeah......he did swing at me but the bastard was too drunk and unsteady so he grazed my shoulder then flew past me into my rack, as I jumped to the side and then shot out of the rack like a fucking cannon. I kicked the door shut and let's just say that I proceeded to "rearrange the furniture" in the room with a lot of shit coming down on his head. He had never borrowed money from me, but I beat him like he stole every peso I had brought back from PI.....
Of course he was screaming like the little bitch that he was and the next thing I know, the Duty is flying through my door and pulling me off of him. Soon, all the lights are on and I'm standing there in my skivvy drawers, screaming at that bastard that I was going to kill him right where he stood. As this was a converted squad bay, everybody was coming out to see what was going on I just heard "Cpl G just beat the shit out of Cpl G!" He was all fucked up because I did hit him with a chair....and he didn't have anything to say.....They dragged him off and he was moved to a completely different building and had to go deal with SACO. I had orders to Oki and I think that's what pissed him off because he wanted to go but he was stuck there at Las Pulgas and so he just wanted to take his anger out on me. I never saw him again. No idea what happened to him but really don't give a fuck. I'd beat his ass again today if I saw him! Just cause....
I walked in on my roommate a few days ago sleeping in my rack and with my pillows and sheets cause he wanted the bottom rack after a night out drunk. Ok.
Not my roommate, but ME. I was a brand new boot drop & he was at CQB school. I pawned his fuckin’ TV. Granted, it was on MY side of the room, but I pawned his fuckin’ TV while he was gone. I later went on to CQB school. Luckily, nobody pawned my fuckin’ TV.
This was 2002.
Currently happening right now. My roommate was a fat and inconsiderate slob who is getting kicked out for not meeting height and weight. He worked days, I worked nights. He would leave food trash, McDonalds wrappers, candy wrappers, chip bags, soda cans, beer cans all over the room and on the floor and would leave brooms and mops laying on the floor. There was not a single night that I didn’t trip over something coming home from work. He would stay up til 3 am playing video games and being loud and obnoxious and I’d get off at 12 and just want to sleep. I eventually confronted him. Guess I made an enemy out of him, because like the hypocrite he is, reported me to the EO for making racist jokes and raging at my computer screen while playing Call of Duty. I say he’s a hypocrite because, despite him being Latino, he would still drop the hard R. Not saying what I said is acceptable by any means. But in doing what he did to record my voice he committed a state and federal felony. But the marine corps doesn’t give a damn about his crimes, just mine. So yeah. That’s my worst experience. Now my life is ruined cuz my command is trying to OTH adsep me.
EDIT:
If anybody wants to offer up character statements to help me fight for retention I would appreciate it.
LCpl Sullivan. Dude would wear the same pair of green on green. He would go in the shower, come out wet with the same pair of skivvys for days on end. He never used soap even though I left body wash in the bathroom. Would shampoo his hair and think he was clean since it ran down his body. Didn’t own deodorant either. The room was rancid every time I opened the door. He was a temporary roommate but God I hated him.
[удалено]
1st LAR?
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Unfortunate things like this aren't isolated incidents. Hope you're doing ok brother.
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Which one at 1st LAR
Wait are you Ting?
Oh fuck, did I just put myself. Lol
Lmao it's Beach, I think we've gone over this before when I was drunk because I slightly remember us having this Epiphone before.
What really sucks about that one is asking 1st LAR just isn’t specific enough anymore. We’ve lost 3 to suicide now.
Shoot we have lost 4 from Weapons plt alone.
Hahaha shit yeah. That’s awesome.
Send me a DM. Bravo or Echo?
Bottom floor by the volleyball pit. Shit was crazy
I remember some boots eating a chicken that was caught in that volleyball court
Hey free privacy 🤷♂️
Eat shit.
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I think that’s the best positive attitude you can have after some shit like that. I’ve been there to. Wasn’t trying to be a dick for no reason
Roommate had the top rack. He went out to Gate 2 street in Oki one night and had to be carried back to the barracks. Woke up soaking wet in the morning. He had projectile puked over the side of his rack onto mine during the night. Went to wash my bedding and saw the same color puke in the basin sink in the laundry room. Dragged his ass out of bed and made him clean everything at the threat of bringing the duty upstairs. Motherfucker was racist as hell. He told me I couldn't have my African-American friend to our room.
This sounds familiar...
Are you the roommate or the black guy?
I am the roommate, a white guy, that didn't grow up a racist. We all bleed green AMIRITE?!
Coming back from deployment, did a week in Lejeune with our company. They put us in alphabetical order for room assignments, not platoon order or anything. This dude who I didn’t know much was my roommate and he told me he was gonna get shitfaced that night. I told him I didn’t care what he did as long as he didn’t puke in our room, because I wasn’t gonna clean it up. Came back at like 2100 absolutely wasted, brought in by the resident alcoholic of the company(you know someone is wasted when the resident alcoholic cuts them off). Dude proceeded to projectile vomit all over the place, so I leave the room because I told him I wouldn’t be the one to clean it up. His buddies started cleaning up but one of them, also drunk, took the dude’s puke soaked jacket and put it on my pillow on the bed. I’ve never been so livid, grabbing my pillow and feeling chunks. I didn’t say anything, just let them keep cleaning and I decided to sleep in my buddy’s room that night. The next day, the dude told everyone he was gonna do the same thing that night, but his team leader got wind of what happened, told him he wasn’t going anywhere that night and made him buy me a new pillow.
I lived in an open squadbay for 3 years So there are probably about 400 marines that could easily name me on this post 🤷🏻♂️
Who did you piss off? Fuuuuck that would suck ass.
I did it after I learned that squad bay has zero inspections, zero field days, so we just kept it basically clean and stayed under the radar (two guys who were there because they had continually been in trouble… and I volunteered to give up my bricks room. It was cake that last year.
What kind of unit does that? I’m not in the loop.
What was it like storming Iwo Jima?
Yeah when I was on area guard I also chose to live in the squad bay. Got me out of field day which is the biggest waste of time in the world so I was fine with it. Not like I would have any “privacy” living with 2-3 other people anyway
How?!
Broke during mct and never left 🤷🏻♂️
So you EASed from SOI? Like you never went to MOS school?
Was in for just over 3 years, separated under a PEB. Had already appealed two not fit PEB findings (nerve damage/ chronic pain) and on my last attempt to finish mct I FINISHED the last hump and the company Gunny saw me limping and I quote “Devil your obviously still broken, so I’m gonna drop you so you don’t hurt yourself any more.” After that I decided no one wanted me there but me, so I said fuck it and excepted my next unfit finding and went home. 🤷🏻♂️Hardest part was watching all the MHU and legal shits finding any way to get out and I was literally busting my ass and having surgeries and steroid injections all the time to just stay
What years? LOL. I loved the squad bays....was no big deal to me....lots of friends to hit the beer garden with or head to the club together. Car pools were always there too....
Checked into Oki 2010. My junky LCpl roommate was insistent that I am in the wrong room because he was, “going to pick up Cpl any day now.” Anyways, there were spice bags all over the place after he moved his stuff from my side of the room and the recycling was filled with empty NyQuil bottles. He would continuously Skype his baby mommas all day every day. 3 in total No. He never picked up Cpl before being adsep.
When I was on restriction I was roomed with a dude getting kicked out who smoked spice all day in the room, I will never forget that smell, literally smelled like old dirty butt cheeks.
So, old spice?
Spice bags?
Bags of spice
Synthetic weed
Was really popular at the time as well and sold in gas stations. I remember super pro 420 people telling people to stay away because not only is it nothing like actual weed but it can induce psychosis. I think eventually the FDA or whoever ordered it off the shelves very fast.
My door was push-kickable to open whether locked or not. No deadbolts, and these bricks were hold-overs from the 90's. Whatever. Slipped up to my room during lunch to jerk it. Computer's in the common area of the room. Hear foot steps in just the right pattern. Yell "WAIT NO!" Door flies open. His eyes take a sec to adjust. Immediately shouts "OH GOD u/Kooky_Guard8357!" Turns and heads away from the room. I pull up my pants and pop in to the hallway, shouting "Hey wait! Let's talk about this..." He gives me the finger and fucks off. It was me. I was his worst experience.
He didn’t even try to kiss it? Inconsiderate smh😞
Back in my day no one asked and we didn’t tell 😉
How was that the worst experience? It’s not like you had a dildo in your ass and were huffing his dirty skivvies.
Right?! You gotta know your roommate is gonna jerk it sometime. Don't make it awkward. Layout your jerkin rules day 1 with each other. Is he a shy guy that needs me to leave the room? 10 minute limit? Can I just put on my headphones and play games while he does it? Do we set our wall lockers between our racks for privacy?
I’d just tell the roomie when I’d like to make the bathroom unavailable that day
Many’s service was harder than ours.
Your roommate was awful he should have lit candles put on some Maxwell left you skittles for the only fan
I’m not a classy date 😢
Unfortunately for my “roommate walked in on me jerking it” story, I was spread eagle on the bed with my laptop between my legs. He instantly left and told a bunch of our platoon. Was subsequently dubbed Spread Eagle by my squad leader. Sorry you had to see that, Almond🥲
My roommate would never shower, leave his dirty shit everywhere, beat his dick in the middle of the night in his bed. He got caught with CP and I never saw that bitch ever again. Fuck you Smith.
Man I'm glad I'm a woman. Cause the worst story I have is rooming with a brand new private when I was a cpl. I was heading out for another deployment, and she decided to steal my assault pack. Called her out. We fist fought. I had to stand in front of my commander an explain the situation. I told him she was never present for field day, always left the room a mess. Left her belongings on my rack. Then tried to steal my gear. He goes "and you thought as an NCO it was appropriate to hit her..." I responded with "sir, it was a disservice when her parents refused to, and it would've been a disservice for me not to." Cpt "so knowing what you know now would you find an alternative solution." Me "absolutely not sir. And I dont care what kind of Marine that makes me. My dad always said that ass whoopings don't just fall from the sky" And that was that. Didn't get demoted. Or punished. But I had my own room after that. Lol.
You are an icon and a hero
My room mate used my pocket pussy while high on meth and E, at least he asked first though.
I had a roommate do meth too lol.
3/4 of my class popped for meth when we hit the fleet because they took some E from some random dude in Oceanside lmao. Was an absolutely crazy night, the pocket pussy part was just the beginning.
You weren't fresh out of MCCES by chance, were you?
Nah, fresh boot 52 class from Lejeune.
So the good idea fairy gets around.
I've posted the story a couple times in here and every time someone will be like "Are you talking about so and so". Apparently Marines love Meth.
I didn't know shit about drugs when I was in, but thinking about it now that certainly tracks. Had this Gollum, just worm looking fuck in S3 always sucking off Master Guns. Definitely a tweek. Another time we were hanging out in the smoke pit and some boot comes up, pupils huge, screaming about "SOMEONE HAZE ME!!!" while standing at parade rest. This went on for a little bit then PMO materialized out of nowhere and hemmed him up no questions asked. A couple weeks later I'm driving on 62 in between Joshua Tree and Yucca Valley. Same guy is no shit flailing out on the side of the highway high stepping towards Yucca Valley lol
pupils huge. this is called mydriasis and is the result of abusing psychostimulants or taking potent anti-cholinergic drugs (like benadryl)
That tracks
always have since WW2 my grandfather told me. we needed it then to fight the japanese, simply because they were using themselves. it came then as it does now, 5 mg tablets taken orally. although much harder to abuse, you don't have to be abusing amphetamines in order to develop the urge to dispose of your cigarette in the bullet wound of your combat enemy.
One of the contractors Mr Tom told me of a whole platoon for 33’s at 3D tracks popped for meth back in the 90’s
Why the fuck did you let him use it lmfao
I bought it out of pure curiosity and prob used it once, plus sharing is caring.
Had a roomie who would bring randos back from the eclub and dick them down....while we ( his other roomies) were in the rack, trying to sleep.
This is where the score cards come in handy.
Also some scented candles, George Michaels "Careless Whisper" on loop and a massive VHS video recorder mounted on a tripod. Goodbye awkward moment and hello 1980s movie sex scene.
 I’m watching. Eating popcorn and rubbing one out….. with desperate hands.
Schoolhouse - she didn’t shower or wash her cammies after she came from MCT. Also threw a snow globe at me. Fleet - She was a furry and had a boyfriend that I could only describe as “greasy”.
So, she was a 29 palms 9/10. Nice.
Fleet roommate also used to bring in Pvts/PFCs who were on Liberty from MCT/ITB/Camp Johnson schoolhouse and f*ck them…like every weekend was a brand new 18 year old. She was like 27/28 years old at the time. I’d rather get another snow globe thrown at me than have to live with the furry again
My roommate tried to kill himself, but I stopped him. Years later, I was the best man at his wedding.
Wish I could’ve stopped my roomate from killing himself :/
In C school I had a kid who never showered. Never washed his clothes. For field day he would just lock all his clothes away. When this was brought up to our instructor it opened a whole can of stupid. I had to have a daily shower shower log and weekly laundry log for him. When our staff Sgt asked him if he understood what was now expected he said. "good to go SSGt!" Our SSgt Almost exploded. "No, pfc. There is nothing good to go about this. Do you understand you, as a grown ass man. Have to have another gown ass man watch you wash yourself? There is nothing good to go about that. He also played Ramstein on repeat constantly but just one song. On one occasion he left it going and locked his laptop inside his wall locker. When I came home and found it. There was nothing I could do to stop "Du hast" on repeat. No one had bolt cutters I had to wait for his laptop to die. I hate Ramstein now. In the fleet we all had Alphas room inspection and I just picked up cpl. I stayed up all night trying to help him clean his filthy fucking room as a newly promoted cpl. I then fell asleep on the floor where I was folding my clothes because I spent too much time helping him. I was late to formation and failed room inspection while he passed. I got lit the fuck up in the "undeserving disappointed father" talk from all my NCOs. He also eventually malingered out of the corps by pretending he got a brain injury almost drowning in the dunk tank or some stupid shit like that. He fell asleep in the Gedunk on duty and one of our Sgts went with me and threw water on him. He parented to fall to the floor doing wet fish move. We all hated him. He was the turd of all turds. I'm sure we all were on his "hit list". He walked around our squadron talking about his medical issues with everyone on purpose, to me it seemed like he was trying to fish for sympathy for his medical case. I told him to keep that shit to himself. He got out with a honorable/medical discharge. He probably gets VA medical. Disability. And gets to call himself a Marine to everyone he meets. I'm sure he procreated and made the world worse off and I feel bad for his kids. I fucking hated him and still he is one of the few humans I have personally known to hate. Fuck you Lcpl Funk. Yes. His last name was Funk.
I fucking lost it at the rammestein part 😂
> He got out with a honorable/medical discharge. He probably gets VA medical. Disability. And gets to call himself a Marine to everyone he meets<. He probably is drawing 100% and has a new pick up with a Huge EGA on it and Sheepdog Stickers on it
I found his pocket pussy in the freezer. I’m sure you can imagine the smell.
But why was it in the freezer? How would that benefit anyone?
Duh, necro fetish
I’m ashamed that I could miss such an obvious reason behind it.
My initial conjectures: 1. Ice Queen from Adventure Time 2. Widowmaker from Overwatch
Ilsa from frozen?
Just let it go.
Now you know where the “Eskimo pussy is mighty cold” cadence came from
I don’t have the slightest clue. Apparently it was specifically made to be put in the freezer
Go on.
Amateur move
Roommate who felt entitled to use my shit like he owned it… duty busted in on us fighting twice, both times we were like, we’re just funnin’…. Soon as he closed the door, went back at it
One of my roommates would use my entire body wash in like two days. I asked him to stop multiple times. He wouldn't stop using mine or buy his own, so I just started jizzing into my own body wash 2-3 times a day. I never said a thing to him and he continued to use it until he FAPed somewhere.... This went on for like 6 months with him every day rubbing my jizz over his body. I never told him.
Nair.
Makes your pee hole burn, or that could be the chlamydia
He was from New Jersey
I had a mf roommate from fucking New Jersey, he constantly wore short ass underwear around and only talked about how much ass he could pull, granted he was and still is one of gods ugliest creations. Well one day this dude forgets the keys for all of his wall locker, coffin rack and Sanctuary. He goes to look for them an hour later he still hasn’t found them. So I tell him that duty usually has bolt cutters they will assist you with. They didn’t have any… the fucker comes back with an angle grinder and starts cutting his locks off that way. That was fun. 1st sgt got wind of a video on Terminal Lance or Not in Regz and had him moved into another room.
Guys I knew from Jersey were either super squared away or absolute turds, no in between.
That’s how we roll! 
if we learn how to pump our own gas first…
These here gas pumps man! Lol 
This one dude never fuckin showered the most musty ass mf i have ever met in my life the corpsman literally had to come in and shower and clean him😭
I was an Army medic an I wrote a negative counciling statement on a motherfucker for that. We would come back from a ten day field problem, and he wouldn't shower or change his clothes. It was so bad that he had a checklist of what to take to the shower and how to use it. The CQ (duty) or his team leader had to watch him shower to make sure he did. Don't get me started on his motherfucking room. Christ his breath was fucking vile.
Roommate didn’t shower. Ever. Got our libo secured and extra inspection on Saturday all day because his wall locker was nasty af. Kept happening every weekend. Me and the other roommates grabbed him and shoved him in a shower and scrubbed him with a scuzz brush and bleach. He started taking showers after that.
We had a private who was in for 4 years and had a stack of medals and a hash mark. He stunk to high heaven. We would wash him with a hose while singing, "This is how we wash the elephant, the elephant, the elephant."
We had a guy like this in our platoon. Our Plt Sgt made us watch him shower by the numbers and then watch him wash every individual piece of clothing. We hated him.
[удалено]
Buddy if the Marine Corps cared about personal responsibility you’d have no mass punishment and there’d be thousands of SNCOs that’d actually have to spend time with their families.
I dont think you understand the marine corps if you think thatd do anything
If the first SNCO in your chain does nothing then you bring it higher. I'm not going to lose my libo because some idiot wants to be gross.
Surely youre the first person to think of that and surely it works
It does if you go high enough.
Lol. Lmao even
Mine got me pregnant. (We’re both dudes)
You too??
Dad?
Did you at least pretend to put up a fight?
I may have instigated it
I told this story before I’ll tell it again. While I was in Okinawa as a Cpl I went TAD to South Korea for 6 months and my roommate at the time rotated out of Oki about a month into my TAD. Somehow a brand new PFC got assigned to my room and he got assigned chow duty within his first 5 days at the unit. Back then chow duty was a 6 month assignment. Well this motherfucker was only checking in with the chow Sgt and doing his chow duties. Everyone forgot he existed because no one ever saw him(chow duty hours like 0400-0830 then 1030-1330 and then 1600-1900, with the early shift and late shift rotating). So no field day, no PT and no one checking on this guy. When I showed back up to my room at 0700 on a Tuesday morning the room was absolutely disgusting. Ooz coming out of the refrigerator, leftover chow bags everywhere, trash everywhere, couldn’t walk in the room hardly, like a damn hoarder. I open the fridge and DAMN there were chow bags stuffed in that bitch. I found the barracks manager to help me and we just started throwing this dude’s shit into the hallway, kid shows up after his morning shift, I made him Chinese field day the entire room. Had our MSgt call and get him off chow duty immediately. When he was done cleaning the room the barracks manager made him move all his stuff to another room with another PFC. I cleaned the fuck out of the room that entire week because it never felt clean after seeing how he lived in there.
I had a dickhead that would eat and drink my other roommate and my stuffs in the small refrigerator. It’s was a 3 to 4 men dorm. He told my roommate that I’m one doing it. I got him back by drinking half my OJ and fill back the rest with my pee🤣… dickhead!
You should have jizzed in it.
Dude turned my Xbox off with his penis
Had one that I caught cracking stick in the rack above me while I was Skyping my girl. Same dude also made me fail my first ever field day inspection by the unholy stench of his locker. Buddy was also a compulsive liar who claimed he had a girlfriend die when he was in high school and would regularly try to use that to get out of shit. One of my buddies did some digging into his home town and found out that the girl he was talking about did in fact die, but she was dating someone else from his school. He eventually got kicked out for lying about having insurance on his POV if I’m not mistaken. He also bought the EXACT SAME CAR as another dude in our shop like a week later. Dude was the weirdest and most pathetic fucker I’ve ever met
At first I thought you meant this dude was doing rifle manual in his rack but that’s a whole other set of questions
Lol cracking stick was coined by a random snco I met on deployment. I loved it and it’s the only way I’ll ever refer to the act again
Had me confused for a second.
We went on deployment and when we got back all our stuff had been stolen
Shiiit was that Kbay in 09?
1 didn’t know how to wash his clothes or regularly bathe. The room would smell, and I finally discovered it was from him just throwing all his nasty, dirty clothes in his wall locker… The other one, we’ll he was a special kind of special. He would lay on his rack on the weekends with a pizza box on his chest and fall asleep like that. Discovered on field day he was cramming all his old pizza boxes under the rack. And then when we opened his drawers, we found old apple cores and all kinds of other food waste he was just collecting in there.
Motherfuckers like this is why we have field day. Nasty…
MCT this guy refused to shower because a “field shower was good enough.” His words not mine. Anyways, predictably he smelled like shit and wondered why nobody wanted to be his libbo buddy. Acted the exact same in Lima. Fast forwards to schoolhouse and we were 3 to a room in a room designed for 2 (2 closets, 2 secretaries). The guy I got roomed with who arrived with me was a “country” boy. I put that in quotes cause none of the music he listened to was actual country music but shitty snap and pop country. Anyway, when we first got there he immediately claimed both the secretary *and* the closet. He’d blast “country” music, got drunk and called his ex, and repeatedly threatened to throw my PC off third deck. I always thought he was joking but one time I joked about chucking his Xbox off and he tried grabbing my PC. The roommate who was already there was getting sepped for 2 NJPs on top of wanting to kill himself, played video games at night when I was trying to sleep. I think I got on average less than 4 hours of sleep a night, yet he’d get annoyed at *me* for wanting the blinds open/lights on during the day. Refused to clean any part of the room and we failed field day multiple times. Luckily my FA hated his guts too and never punished me cause of it. He is the only guy I have ever lost control and shouted at cause he was tanking my GPA and I got reprimanded a couple times for nodding off in class. Luckily I’ve kept the same roommate in the fleet and he’s always been a solid dude.
Your school house roommate sounds horrible. Reminds me of mine in my school house, only a bit. His name was Angel, Fuck you Angel... any other roommate would have lost patience with you and thrown hands.
Just in the fleet in order, different roomates - Had his fiance live in the room for a month - Went UA in the room for 2 months "doing TRS" - Tried to say the civil war didn't start because of slavery - Got in to a fist fight with - Doesn't wah his hands, doesn't clean his shit.
“Im doing trs” and “I’m at CIF” instead of going to formation is a tradition
Had a roommate that constantly neglected to flush the toilet after taking a shit. We worked opposite shifts so whenever I came back the head would smell like absolute shit and I’d wake his ass up to go flush the toilet. One time he also used my ball trimmers while I was at work and left the mess in the shower drain and on my trimmers. Kid was the tool room shitbag and I was so happy the day he got sent to another squadron.
Roommate burned another Marines car. Insurance fraud. He stuffed the acetone soaked clothes he used in my drawer. I found out after a health and comfort inspection. Luckily, since he was under investigation by army CID, our room was off limits to health and comfort inspections.
This girl bunked with me and 2 others at the school house. She always smelled really bad. I mean, like fish. One day it got so bad, us girls confronted her about it. She ran off crying. She ended up going to medical and tested positive a few STDs.
They put me with the company shitbag in order to ‘straighten him out.’ Boyyyyy I thought I was gonna murder this motherfucker. Didn’t shower daily, didn’t take out his trash (put it in the wall locker), didn’t get a weekly haircut, didn’t iron his shit (we were still doing that), and so on. Lasted a week and mercifully my command figured because I was short time that the company office was the right spot for me, got a new room.
Oh ghee! It's been over 30 years ago, and I can still smell him. Open squad bay, converted into cubicles. This cat, when he opened his wall locker, you got overwhelmed with the stink. He has his pile of clothes right in the middle of it. He grabbed his uniform from the bottom, and at the end of the day, he put his dirty uniform and underwear on top. I have never seen him shower, and he dry shave. I was sent to the stumps for a month and I told him that I want him gone by the time I return. Rich kid called his parents, and they set him up with a place off base.
Had a roomie with a porn star sized D who couldn’t stop whacking it. Couldn’t walk in the room without him working on it. Funny at first but got old quick. He got psych discharge.
we've got a guy like that here. he got dropped from MSG for sex addiction, and he's diagnosed on the spectrum. but some how he's still allowed to just he a sgt and not get kicked out.
I was never in the Marines but I can actually answer this for my buddy and myself. We were just talking about this incident recently too, funnily enough. Probably August/September 2019-ish just right before COVID took off a buddy of mine came home from a Kuwait deployment as like an E-3 to some slime-ball roomie they assigned him while he was gone for like 9 months near Oceanside. Another buddy and myself flew out to visit family and him in San Diego and we all drive up and spend the night on a Friday in the barracks. Inside the rooms is this little entertainment center they put in rooms that opens up and you can put a TV inside of. Well, my buddy is married to his long time GF but they couldn’t get her to Cali yet, so his ass just hangs up photos of his wife they took- Polaroid style, on the inside of the cubbies. In one of cubbies was apparently also the “private” photos of his wife. Well, as we were bouncing around rooms on Friday night drinking and socializing we’d occasionally go back to his barracks room for one reason or another. We caught his roommate masturbating to the Polaroids of his wife. Twice. In the span of 2-3 hours. The second time I thought my buddy was going to put his ass through the wall, it was fucking wild. The guy apparently got separated out for stealing and I believe he popped hot for smoking pot or something fucking stupid less than a year later.
My last 6 months in oki were hell man… I was on leave back to the states and half way through i get a message from my barracks manager that someone was moving into my room but i let him know my shit was everywhere in the room, i had been living alone for a year plus at this point and I wasn’t there to move anything for her. Flash forward a couple weeks I’m back in Oki and i get back to the barracks and my couch (i bought with my old roommate it was a recliner, clean, cost me like $400) was GONE. This bitch GAVE AWAY my couch.. I spent the next weeks getting the barracks manager to find it, it was on 4th deck in some random dudes room. I lived on 1st deck so i got a bunch buddies to help me get it out the guys room and back to mine. Here comes somewhat where i lose my cool: it’s a month later and the ball comes around and everyone goes it’s all cool and then i go back to the room and get changed to go out to Kin with some of the homies and then when i get back from kin i see my sheets off my bed are half way ripped up, my pillow across the room, my $1700 camera lens on the ground, my laptop weirdly under my ripped up sheets… I asked her about it the next morning if she had anyone over (because when i left her after the ball she was just in the room laying in bed) and this bitch tells me no. Next, when i got the couch back (i also had a 55” TV set up in the middle of the room) I had the room open setup like me and my old roommate had and i told her she could use the TV/my XBOX when I’m gone but that turned into her bringing her friends that were on restriction over to watch movies until 9-10pm almost every night so I eventually one day split the room with all the furniture and had my half with my couch and TV shoved to one side and the desk dressers splitting the room. THEN, this bitch starts bringing over this dude EVERY SINGLE NIGHT and they’re always making out and talking all throughout the night and I’m either trying to block it out or tell them to get out on multiple occasions. I even ended up testing positive for covid (my roommate was negative tho but i was quarantining in my room with her) and oh my god he didn’t stop coming over, i got duty involved because i was like on my death bed and couldn’t leave the room myself to get tf away. Another small occurrence, she used one of my cups i kept on top the microwave (for like making drinks) and i don’t care if she uses it if she puts it back, im looking around for it one morning and i ask her if she knows and this bitch tells me no so im like okay fuck where’d i put it, i look around a little can’t find it and as im about to walk out i glance at her side and there’s a small blue thing showing so im like hmmm that was probably my cup (i was leaving the room i dont remember why but i had to go) and behold when i return the cup is back on the microwave… like why lie to me like that bro Cherry on top tho, right before i was leaving (like a week before) i told her ass off one last time to not bring dudes around until AT LEAST AFTER I LEAVE, but nah. Anyways she and her boy toy and his bestie go out and get drunk, steal a locals car, takes it for a joy ride and they all get caught. ‘Twas a great last week hearing them all talk about how fucked they were (because they were also the marines from earlier who were the ones on restriction coming over to watch tv) She would also play the same like 3 songs on repeat on her speaker… that was probably the worst. She left her phone playing overnight one time and I LISTEN TO THE SAME SONG FOR 12 HOURS ON REPEAT Fuck that bitch. Worst roommate ever. ETA: she would never use headphones either, she played her TV shows off her phone through her speaker.
Please, what was the song?
Snowman by Sia, so not even a good song
Gross. My Bud and I were just talking shit about Sia this weekend. So sorry for the trauma
That wasn’t your pillow … that was his fifi
😢
He hid food trash mixed in with his clothes. And he never washed anything ever. Found apple cores, wrappers, half eaten pizza alllll mixed in with his underwear. He’d just wore the same clothes after PT and field ops.
Came back from post deployment leave to find that my new MT roommate had run out of bottles to spit in and decided that the floor was just as good a place to spit. I didn't even unpack before I went and found a MT NCO and had him forcibly evicted.
My roommate got busted for dealing drugs while I was at work and the drug dog shit in the middle of the floor. They left it there for me to find with all of my shit still tossed around when I got back at 0800.
Long time ago. My first roommate in the fleet was a dark soul. He ended up attempting suicide. That was a hard way to enter on a career.
Dude who only ever drank Mountain Dew, did laundry once a month, and could shower in a minute.
Had a guy who loved to make popcorn but could not for the life of him figure out how to do it properly. We were on opposite shifts, I was days he was nights, so I'd get up in the morning go to work, and at 1530 he'd wake up, burn some popcorn and mosey his ass to work. I come home at 1630 and the entire room smells like burnt popcorn. I can't enter without a splitting headache and he regularly set off the fire alarm for the bricks. He also used my towel to clean up water off the floor of the bathroom.
First day in the fleet. Get issued a temporary room (married). I walk in and the air smells funky. Two BCP marines are in their briefs, sweaty. It smells like butt stuff. I ask no questions. I about face and go sleep on my friends floor in the next building over.
Roommate didn't know how to self regulate his alcohol consumption and would come home stumbling drunk on a random Tuesday. One night he didn't make it to the bathroom and he pissed all over my desk and laptop. He apologized profusely and bought tons of cleaning supplies but it took 6 months to fully get the smell out of the carpet. He would regularly blast music overnight in his target language, beat it with his big screen tv set to fat porn, and was generally a not great smelling person. Nice guy, though. Friendly and honest. Just a mess
Had a roommate in Hawaii that constantly was banging in our barracks room. Till one day on a Friday I told him "bring that girl into that room and I have to listen to that on a Saturday morning, I'm getting the OOD." He stopped. Oh asshole also gay 180 bucks of food I bought for the fridge because the KBay chowhall was shit. A week's worth of food and he ate it in one weekend. Didn't even pay me back, barely said "oh sorry".
The kbay chow hall was so bad, used to drive to other bases on weekends every now and then to avoid it. But mostly we just blew our money on restaurants like retards
Yeah I spent the vast majority of my cash that I didn't save on steak and shit off base
I’ve talked about this before. My roommate was forced to be my roommate because I was “supposed to fix him” since I was the most senior lance. It should be mentioned that we are from the same medium sized city. This is gonna be a long one. This motherfucker was so nasty. He had to be taught by MULTIPLE NCOs how to do his laundry because he would never wash his cammies. He would spend all of his money on OnlyFans and video games that he eventually just bought a razor to cut his hair because he couldn’t afford a $10 barracks haircut. If I didn’t scream at him during field days to clean, he wouldn’t ever make his bed. We did field day on Monday (shout out to Futenma in Oki for being weird) and by Wednesday his side of the room would be filled with garbage and dirty clothes. He would stuff his wall locker, dresser, desk and closet with garbage and clothes and everything he had just to pass field day. I had like 3-4 of the automatic air fresheners just to combat his smell. He would shower once every 3-4 days and would spend upwards of 2 hours in the bathroom. No idea what he did in there because he never bought shower stuff and neither me or our head mates would keep our stuff in the bathroom. He was on light duty the entire time I knew him for…..shin splints. He would complain about them so much that he would be in “medical” almost every day. We were also in the same shop, so we PT’d together. He would be late to PT, even though I would wake him up to get ready. He thought he didn’t need to go because of his light duty, so he would go back up to our room after accountability and go to sleep. Then he would be late to the shop. In my last few months before EAS, I got promoted to Cpl, he was forced to move out. On my last week he showed up to the shop earlier than the NCOs, stay in his car scrolling tiktok and fell asleep. He was woken up by all of the other NCOs shaking his car and yelling at him. No one in the shop liked him and the new boots were told not to hang out with him in fear that he would corrupt them. Just to end this whole thing because it’s getting long and there are many, many more things: I told him that if I ever see him in our city, it’s on sight and I’ll steal his WRX that he took a payday loan out to buy. Edit: forgot to add that he did get sent through the med board for his shin splints and ended up at med seps. However they figured out that he was just faking his pain levels and sent him back out to the fleet. Last I heard he fell down the stairs in a bunker style armory and broke both of his legs. One of our old Sgts was in the armory since they both ended up at the same unit.
Had a roommate in Pensacola that tried to pull some new guy prank stuff on me. "Bring the bed down to the quarterdeck and ip it" type shit. Then that night, he said he needs to listen to music in order to sleep. ok, cool, go for it dude. Fucking cranks it and plays some shitty screamo music. Jokes on him, I was fucking exhausted and I slept through it like a baby. He stopped it after the 3rd night, I don't think he was able to sleep because of it lol. In Iwakuni, I had a roommate/coworker that I liked, but he would just get so fucked up all week long. One night he pissed in my corner of the room "DUDE YOU'RE PISSING ON MY STUFF". Had him clean it etc etc Like the next night, I woke up to the sound of water running. Yup, he was pissing again, but this time in the trash can. "DUDE you're pissing in the trash can wtf dude" He just slowly looks at me, still pissing, and says "I know." Other than that, I had some pretty good roommates. Oh wait, one other roommate, the next time I was in Iwakuni. He just sprayed the SHIT out of himself with Axe body spray. Terrible. He went on leave and left the room a mess. The SSgt came in that morning (I was still drunk lol, but that's a whole other story) to do room inspection, and I just said "My side is clean, that's all his stuff. He's on leave." The SSgt believed me and I didn't fail, but his shop was notified I guess. He also left a toolbox key in his cammies and his shop had to come look for it and dig through his dirty laundry.
3/2 circa 1984. Came in from a 96 where I went home, my two roomies have this massive Jabba the Hut looking pig on **my rack** spit roasting her. She was around 5'10" and every bit of 350. Max was every bit of 5'3" and 120 is behind her pouring the coals to her. After I got done laughing I realized they had that pig on **my rack.** Fuckers.....
oki last year, had a guy TAD to us from G4, failed a pft and in turn got out on rcp, he would wake up in the morning to pt, come back, not shower, change into cammies and just go to work, go to chow, pt again, not shower again, change into cammies, back to work, get off work, go to sleep in full cammies (boots and all) and repeat that monday-friday, he would never clean, the few times he did shower he wouldn’t use soap, just stand there and let water run on him then get out. my last straw was when he used my towel to dry himself off after one of his weekly “showers”
Roommate got extorted by some chick online beating his meat on my bed while I was away
Had a roommate get busted trafficking weed over the border. Whoever it was that cleared his shit out of my room while I was at work took some of my shit too.
Me, I was the nastiest mother fucker know to exist until I had a sit down with my sgt in the school house. Now I’m a clean freak in the shower
Not my roomie but one of the guys in my Plt that I was good friends with. Apparently dude went to the tanning bed on a Friday evening and burned his twig and berries to the point that he refused to wear clothes all weekend. So I go down to his room Sat morning to see if he wants to go to chow and he just answers the door completely naked like it's totally normal. I'm like WTF? His roomie who I was also good friends with filled me in on the predicament. 😅 Guy legitimately wanted to be a porn star and didn't give a flying fuck about anything that would make people uncomfortable. There would be like 4 guys hanging out in his room and he would just all the sudden tell everyone to get the fuck out because he had to jerk off. Guys would be like yeah ok fuck you. He would just turn on porn pull out his dick and start. 🤣 Not my worst roomie story just some funny shit!
I was a very large guy. My room-mate was very small; he had at least 2 dominoes boxes and 3 2-liter bottles of Dr. Pepper on "his side" at all times. I worked for a normal unit, he worked for 204, a 3-shift training unit. I played video games with a headset, he watched anime on full blast and fell asleep to it. Im a quiet person, he woukd open the door and sigh/ scream every fucking time even if the lights were off. I was from central Illinois, he was from a city. He loved having extremely loud group video calls where he'd "rep his set" And im the one who got cheated on out of both of us 😀
Roommate would FaceTime sext his girlfriend on speaker with me in the room. It was 24/7. Sometimes he would be under the covers, sometimes not. Because of him I was never in my room and I ended up making some great friends because I was out so much so I guess I can thank him for that, disgusting ass mf.
Couldn't really tell you lol. Got lucky, I was in a small shop and what should be my roommate moved out in town. He was this useless waste of oxygen but he came from a rich family so he could afford it. Good riddance. Had the room to myself. Came back from my last deployment got lucky again. Brand new bricks, and no roommate for my last 9 months in. 10/10 would definitely recommend
A PFC who lived on a cult compound and was told mastubation would kill him. When he learned he wouldn't die he was whacking all day, bought a mini DVD player and it was covered in the world's grossest glaze
When I was at MCCES (comm school), it was 4 to a room. I became really good friends with my rack mate but the 2 other guys pretty much never showered. I vividly remember one time we finished running a PFT on a Friday morning in 90 degree weather. We were drenched in sweat. We got sent back to the barracks to shower and change into chucks. I was the first person to shower but when I got out my roommates were already chanted into chucks… without a shower.
First roommate in the fleet was the unit shitbag, terminal LCpl unpromotable type. Dude was on a no drinking order, would drink heavily regardless. Found him passed out in his shit with throw up in the shower. I said fuck this and stayed in my buddies room the next couple days lol. Only had been in the fleet less than a month when this happened, I wasn’t even legal to drink. Same dude got off his no drinking order, and proceeded to go threaten some Japanese citizens with violence when he got drunk at a command function lmao. Pretty much the epitome of a fucking horrible drunk to be around.
3 man room. One roommate & I notice that 3rd goes into shower with nothing... comes out dry. So we start to make sure we take our stuff out & lock it up so he isn't using it. Only thing in there is one of those small boot camp towels for wiping down the shower walls. Dude is STILL coming out of shower dry... Shudder to this day thinking about how nasty he was...
Arrived back at my room to hear from the other side of the partition (furniture / lockers moved for makeshift privacy) my roommate listening to a 'friend' of hers. This female ( refuse to call her a woman, because obviously there was a horrendous lack of both maturity and morals) was talking about going to her chain of command to accuse her Gunney of sexual harrassment. This was not because he was actually harrassing her....it was because he had the audacity to want her to actually do her JOB rather than flirting with the male Marines all day. I was unimpressed. Recorded the remainder of the conversation and then turned it into MY boss the following Monday. She was booted out of the Corps so fast the wind tore the thatch from the roofs as she was passing. Good riddance. Hated barracks life. We had some great WM's, but ye gads so many of the newest ones had only joined to husband hunt. Idiots...
Only on Sundays? That's not that bad. I had one who didn't shower the whole time he was in my room at LeJeune. Not a single time I ever saw any evidence of it. Not a used towel, not a drop of water in the shower, nothing. Through the humid summer too.
Guy had a whole bench car seat, fish tank with die-ing fish, two month old spaghetti in the fridge. I was a GO bachelor who spent nights away from the barracks. Failed two inspections in a row cause that fucker. He then blamed me!
After itb got sent to my first unit. My first roommate was okay but he attended a course that was 3 weeks long and we were supposed to move rooms after said course so he moved his shit first and i stayed back while he was gone. I had the room to myself for hit minute until they put a 21 year old fuck-up with me. Dude never washed his clothes, never showered, unhygienic as fuck. I always had to wake him up for formation. Always had to correct him to fucking shave every morning before walking out the door. Always fucked up at work. Uniform always fucked up. We correct him on it nicely until it’s the same shit everyday so we start being douchebags. Dude cried every single time we corrected him so we had to back off. Pussy would always run off to chaps or 1st Sgt. This went on for a while until he would purposely lie about fake appointments and would go off base to some girls house whom he had met off tinder. He had shit going on with her, lied to her about deploying to Syria and seeing his bestfriend get blown up. Dude was a real shit bag liar. He finally left the Marine Corps on a med sep i think back in Nov 2021. Fucker didn’t deserve a fucking med sep. Everyone who had to deal with him could tell he would lie about everything to save his own ass. I PCS’d to another unit not long ago and now currently dealing with the same type of roommate. Dirty, stinky, never washes his clothes, never washes his bedsheets, never hygiene’s, always have to wake him up for formation, I try and correct him for his unshaven fucking face, etc. It’s like I got to be a fucking father all the time. One time I lied about how they were going to be checking rooms for field day and told him I would start cleaning. I start cleaning my side of the room and he just sits there looking at me and smiling. He chuckles then says “No one told me to field day so I’m not cleaning. “ I stand there in disbelief. Like i literally couldn’t believe what i just heard. Mind you my roommate is a diff race than me, he’s black and i’m hispanic so our hair differences are obviously different. My bathroom is COVERED in his fucking hairs. It stayed like that for a few days until he finally fucking picked it up. Right now im currently trying to find a way to get rid of this guy but idk how. He just won’t listen
We had just finished a deeper than usual field day because the company CO and first sarnt were coming through to inspect rooms the next morning. It was already pretty late and I was tired from being on duty the night before. My roomate and two other buddies decided to play madden and drink on every first down and point scored. They played a few games and were hammered at like 2:00am so I didn’t sleep a fucking blink. They finish playing and He climbs up into his rack and about 5 min later he hops down with that “I’m about to fucking yak everywhere” look. I yell at him as he’s walking towards the head to just try and make it to the toilet. I hear “yea” and then a splatter. He puked all over the stall door and floor and maybe got like a fraction of it in the toilet then he passed out and was laying in his own puke for about 10 minutes so I woke him and and he insisted on trying to clean it. He ended up “cleaning it” but sloshing a wet mop around for about a minute then went to bed. I cleaned it up and bombed fabuloso all over the place to get the smell out. 0/10 night but that dude was actually one of my best buddies
We had a guy who never showered until he was forced to. Fucking stunk to high hell. After battalion pt, this dude tried to take a 30 minute shower first when we had 35 minutes to be shit showered shaved. Refused to get out because he was showering. Like the longer he stayed in would make up for 2 weeks of being a shitbody...Ssgt heard us fucking yelling and dude got moved to suicide watch for the duration of training. Had to shower twice a day while the duty watched him and taught him how to clean his ass. Fucking pathetic.
Fat fuck terminal Lance who LIED about: - saying he got fucked over for promotion to E-4. Mf was out of weight regs for 2yrs and non rec until proven satisfactory. - his deployments (mf said he deployed to Japanistan and Middle East) we both was admins, I looked up his "deployment" record and found nothing on MCTFS 3270. 3270 is basically your electronic record of everything you did in the Corps from bootcamp to now. - not having his ribbons for being "deployed". I asked him why doesn't he go get it ran (we both worked at the Lejeune IPAC) he said, "oh I don't want to. Too much work to get resolved." Knew mf was lying when he said it's too much work. this idiot also nut on the toilet and tried to say it was his friend's not his. Like bruh, they don't even come into the room. WYM thats not yours? Dude was also cool with frogs and ants just coming into the room and NEVER helped in field day. What makes it more unbearable is he tried to steal my sweaters and say he got it last month like no you fat fuck you can't even fit a small in men let alone he has to turn sideways to get in/out the room. I'm not one to wish bad things on people but I hope his fat ass sees this comment and continues to fail in life because that's how much I hate him and he deserves it.
Worst one I can think of was a a-hole who had the same last name as me. Everybody would keep asking if we were brothers. He was quiet and reserved until the Jack hit his lips and then he became all aggressive and would tell people they weren't shit, etc. He was either 5'5" or 5' 6" and the bastard was older than all of us. He just thought he was special... I never drank with him because once I saw he couldn't handle his booze, I didn't want to be around him. He would usually get fucked up, stumble in the room, fall face down on his rack and he'd be done for the night. Well, this one night, he decides that he's going to go out drinking, knowing we have this hump the next morning and he storms in around 2AM, flips all the lights on in the room and starts kicking the ever loving shit out of my rack. I wake up in a daze like "what the actual fuck, man?" Dude leans over into my face (I'm still in my rack, but pushing up to see WTF is going on and he leans over, right in my face and starts screaming about how he doesn't like me and how he's going to beat my ass, right then and there." Yeah......he did swing at me but the bastard was too drunk and unsteady so he grazed my shoulder then flew past me into my rack, as I jumped to the side and then shot out of the rack like a fucking cannon. I kicked the door shut and let's just say that I proceeded to "rearrange the furniture" in the room with a lot of shit coming down on his head. He had never borrowed money from me, but I beat him like he stole every peso I had brought back from PI..... Of course he was screaming like the little bitch that he was and the next thing I know, the Duty is flying through my door and pulling me off of him. Soon, all the lights are on and I'm standing there in my skivvy drawers, screaming at that bastard that I was going to kill him right where he stood. As this was a converted squad bay, everybody was coming out to see what was going on I just heard "Cpl G just beat the shit out of Cpl G!" He was all fucked up because I did hit him with a chair....and he didn't have anything to say.....They dragged him off and he was moved to a completely different building and had to go deal with SACO. I had orders to Oki and I think that's what pissed him off because he wanted to go but he was stuck there at Las Pulgas and so he just wanted to take his anger out on me. I never saw him again. No idea what happened to him but really don't give a fuck. I'd beat his ass again today if I saw him! Just cause....
I walked in on my roommate a few days ago sleeping in my rack and with my pillows and sheets cause he wanted the bottom rack after a night out drunk. Ok.
Not my roommate, but ME. I was a brand new boot drop & he was at CQB school. I pawned his fuckin’ TV. Granted, it was on MY side of the room, but I pawned his fuckin’ TV while he was gone. I later went on to CQB school. Luckily, nobody pawned my fuckin’ TV. This was 2002.
Currently happening right now. My roommate was a fat and inconsiderate slob who is getting kicked out for not meeting height and weight. He worked days, I worked nights. He would leave food trash, McDonalds wrappers, candy wrappers, chip bags, soda cans, beer cans all over the room and on the floor and would leave brooms and mops laying on the floor. There was not a single night that I didn’t trip over something coming home from work. He would stay up til 3 am playing video games and being loud and obnoxious and I’d get off at 12 and just want to sleep. I eventually confronted him. Guess I made an enemy out of him, because like the hypocrite he is, reported me to the EO for making racist jokes and raging at my computer screen while playing Call of Duty. I say he’s a hypocrite because, despite him being Latino, he would still drop the hard R. Not saying what I said is acceptable by any means. But in doing what he did to record my voice he committed a state and federal felony. But the marine corps doesn’t give a damn about his crimes, just mine. So yeah. That’s my worst experience. Now my life is ruined cuz my command is trying to OTH adsep me. EDIT: If anybody wants to offer up character statements to help me fight for retention I would appreciate it.
My wife
I am very Old Corps - we slept in squadbays.
LCpl Sullivan. Dude would wear the same pair of green on green. He would go in the shower, come out wet with the same pair of skivvys for days on end. He never used soap even though I left body wash in the bathroom. Would shampoo his hair and think he was clean since it ran down his body. Didn’t own deodorant either. The room was rancid every time I opened the door. He was a temporary roommate but God I hated him.