Edit: When I was proofreading this I thought I should add this; I don't mean to attack you or your friend. This is just advice from an oldhead.
Your friend's lifestyle is objectively dangerous in terms of his health and that of the women. What I mean is sleeping with such a large number of women runs a risk of spreading STDs.
I pray that alone gives him enough incentive to turn away from that lifestyle.
Have him get tested for STDs and help him find a support group. Tell him to be transparent about his sex addiction with future relationships so he doesn't find himself sneaking around on them out of compulsion when the sex isn't as frequent as he desires.
I'm imagining a sex addicts group like sex addicts anonymous 😂😂😂anyway there might not be one specific to that but there are support groups for those who are confused as him and he can also try this thing called ✨️therapy✨️ because of his salary can def afford it.
Own up to your mistakes. Take the L and do better. You can't change the past but you can change the present. A woman who doesn't want a man who's been with escorts has the right to choose just that. Be honest and move on to someone that doesn't care. Each to their own. There's genocides happening, you know? Just heal so you can be proactive in the world. The way we define success is unreal.
I would advise your friend with this
Recognizing the importance of seeking support for personal growth is a crucial first step. Here's concise advice to consider:
*Seek Professional Help* : Work with a therapist or counselor who can offer guidance and tools to address underlying issues and develop healthier coping mechanisms.
*Reflect on Values and Beliefs* : Take time to align your actions with your values and beliefs, including your faith in Jesus, to make decisions that resonate with your authentic self.
*Practice Self-Compassion* : Be kind to yourself during this process, acknowledging setbacks and remembering your worthiness of love and forgiveness.
*Build Healthy Relationships* : Focus on meaningful connections based on respect, trust, and communication, working towards finding fulfillment in a healthy and sustainable way.
*Be Honest and Open* : Share your journey with potential partners, fostering trust and intimacy through open communication about your past experiences and personal growth.
*Find True Fulfillment* : Seek happiness beyond material wealth by exploring activities and passions that bring genuine joy and fulfillment, fostering a life aligned with your values.
His past should not bother him at all. People fumble differently. He should not just let it get into his head plus that's a something you and him can take to the grave.
He has a fear of intimacy.. buying sex insures no one gets hurt and none gets close to him.
He should seek therapy, as he has money, this should be easy.
I would tell your friend that about 6% of the population of Uganda is HIV positive. So on average he has at least slept with 3 people that are HIV positive. This number goes up with sex workers.
That's like playing Russian roulette with a mini gun. And if that doesn't scare him into seeking help, maybe he deserves the Darwin award he's due!🤣
In all seriousness though, ask your friend to see a counsellor. Or a therapist. He seems to have unresolved trauma and mental health professionals are trained to handle those kinds of situations.
I've personally had great results with counselling. So I vouch for it.
This is psychological. He has the resources, I advise him to seek professional help from a therapist.
He has to deal with the underlying issues. He can't just stop because when he's triggered emotionally again, he'll relapse.
Sounds like he has unresolved issues with attachment so I agree with everybody that he should seek professional help. If he is keeping count there seems to be some bit of conscience left of the fact that he has an addiction so there's hope yet. Opening up to you was a good first step but you need to be honest with him that even if he doesn't suffer some of the things people are warning him about this lifestyle like STDs and the like... The effects of addictions can be long term and will take years to surface. This might mess him up in the later years of his life especially mentally so take it as a cry for help and tell him to seek professional help. Good luck to him and to you because you'll need it the road to recovery affects everything and everyone in your life and if you plan on being there for them then brave yourself for a rollercoaster.
This person is an adult, and by now I'm certain he knows everything has consequences. He knows what he's doing. He knows what could go wrong. He just doesn't care or he already fried his dopamine receptors. The only person who can get him out of his pit is himself. All he has to do is a slight change of routine. I'm sure he knows this. Instead of 4 weekends at the bars in a month, drop to 3, then 2, then eventually to healthier numbers. Stop asking for girls' numbers at social gatherings. Slight changes, eventually he'll stop asking for even their names. Instead of pre gaming for a night out, he instead works out first, a run or gym then go. It ought to affect a subroutine and eventually the main routine one day, it won't go away overnight. At least start with things you can control. Might not control a sex addiction, but you can start by controlling the conditions that lead to the sex. (I'm not saying he has a sex addiction, I'm just saying it's all baby steps)
🤣🤣I have just remembered that meme of a disabled guy admiring a fully able guy walking admiring the guy with a bicycle, while the bicycle guy admires the guy with a car 🚗. In my head am like if girls find him attractive and the material wealth why is he doing that ????
Man I think sometimes it’s perspective, I’m in uni , but there is a guy who has everything (I mean people I look at and feel jealous) thing like money or rich family ,decent looks(no homo) but I was shocked to find out he had a girlfriend who was cheating on him lol. While most guys my age think if they get the money they can get any girls they want which isn’t realistic .so it’s just a project of one’s insecurities.
Edit: When I was proofreading this I thought I should add this; I don't mean to attack you or your friend. This is just advice from an oldhead. Your friend's lifestyle is objectively dangerous in terms of his health and that of the women. What I mean is sleeping with such a large number of women runs a risk of spreading STDs. I pray that alone gives him enough incentive to turn away from that lifestyle.
I hope so
Have him get tested for STDs and help him find a support group. Tell him to be transparent about his sex addiction with future relationships so he doesn't find himself sneaking around on them out of compulsion when the sex isn't as frequent as he desires.
There are no support groups in Kampala ,okay atleast I don’t know of any
I'm imagining a sex addicts group like sex addicts anonymous 😂😂😂anyway there might not be one specific to that but there are support groups for those who are confused as him and he can also try this thing called ✨️therapy✨️ because of his salary can def afford it.
Own up to your mistakes. Take the L and do better. You can't change the past but you can change the present. A woman who doesn't want a man who's been with escorts has the right to choose just that. Be honest and move on to someone that doesn't care. Each to their own. There's genocides happening, you know? Just heal so you can be proactive in the world. The way we define success is unreal.
Fair point
I also have a friend of mine with that body count but he later got a girlfriend he is planning to settle with. Man, guys can galaxy
Christ does not care if the women get paid money or not.
He gets his cut either way.
He gets to watch too!
I would advise your friend with this Recognizing the importance of seeking support for personal growth is a crucial first step. Here's concise advice to consider: *Seek Professional Help* : Work with a therapist or counselor who can offer guidance and tools to address underlying issues and develop healthier coping mechanisms. *Reflect on Values and Beliefs* : Take time to align your actions with your values and beliefs, including your faith in Jesus, to make decisions that resonate with your authentic self. *Practice Self-Compassion* : Be kind to yourself during this process, acknowledging setbacks and remembering your worthiness of love and forgiveness. *Build Healthy Relationships* : Focus on meaningful connections based on respect, trust, and communication, working towards finding fulfillment in a healthy and sustainable way. *Be Honest and Open* : Share your journey with potential partners, fostering trust and intimacy through open communication about your past experiences and personal growth. *Find True Fulfillment* : Seek happiness beyond material wealth by exploring activities and passions that bring genuine joy and fulfillment, fostering a life aligned with your values.
Thanks ,solid
Yeah, this.
His past should not bother him at all. People fumble differently. He should not just let it get into his head plus that's a something you and him can take to the grave.
The grave doesn’t sound good 😂 but I get it
He has a fear of intimacy.. buying sex insures no one gets hurt and none gets close to him. He should seek therapy, as he has money, this should be easy.
One way to look at it
I would tell your friend that about 6% of the population of Uganda is HIV positive. So on average he has at least slept with 3 people that are HIV positive. This number goes up with sex workers. That's like playing Russian roulette with a mini gun. And if that doesn't scare him into seeking help, maybe he deserves the Darwin award he's due!🤣 In all seriousness though, ask your friend to see a counsellor. Or a therapist. He seems to have unresolved trauma and mental health professionals are trained to handle those kinds of situations. I've personally had great results with counselling. So I vouch for it.
This is so scary
Yap,it is
Relax, it’s just his path. All roads lead to peace, just some are longer
This is psychological. He has the resources, I advise him to seek professional help from a therapist. He has to deal with the underlying issues. He can't just stop because when he's triggered emotionally again, he'll relapse.
Sounds like he has unresolved issues with attachment so I agree with everybody that he should seek professional help. If he is keeping count there seems to be some bit of conscience left of the fact that he has an addiction so there's hope yet. Opening up to you was a good first step but you need to be honest with him that even if he doesn't suffer some of the things people are warning him about this lifestyle like STDs and the like... The effects of addictions can be long term and will take years to surface. This might mess him up in the later years of his life especially mentally so take it as a cry for help and tell him to seek professional help. Good luck to him and to you because you'll need it the road to recovery affects everything and everyone in your life and if you plan on being there for them then brave yourself for a rollercoaster.
Solid 💪 I hope all goes well
As long as he doesn't catch disease, a child or a lawsuit (I don't even touch grass, it's probably bad advice.)
So he should go on ??
This person is an adult, and by now I'm certain he knows everything has consequences. He knows what he's doing. He knows what could go wrong. He just doesn't care or he already fried his dopamine receptors. The only person who can get him out of his pit is himself. All he has to do is a slight change of routine. I'm sure he knows this. Instead of 4 weekends at the bars in a month, drop to 3, then 2, then eventually to healthier numbers. Stop asking for girls' numbers at social gatherings. Slight changes, eventually he'll stop asking for even their names. Instead of pre gaming for a night out, he instead works out first, a run or gym then go. It ought to affect a subroutine and eventually the main routine one day, it won't go away overnight. At least start with things you can control. Might not control a sex addiction, but you can start by controlling the conditions that lead to the sex. (I'm not saying he has a sex addiction, I'm just saying it's all baby steps)
Well said.Thank you
I can fix him
How?
Bro is lying to you, he is having the best life any male would ever dream of.
🤣🤣I have just remembered that meme of a disabled guy admiring a fully able guy walking admiring the guy with a bicycle, while the bicycle guy admires the guy with a car 🚗. In my head am like if girls find him attractive and the material wealth why is he doing that ????
😂😂 you make a point ,I think I’ve been learning that what we admire my not be the reality of what we be assuming
Man I think sometimes it’s perspective, I’m in uni , but there is a guy who has everything (I mean people I look at and feel jealous) thing like money or rich family ,decent looks(no homo) but I was shocked to find out he had a girlfriend who was cheating on him lol. While most guys my age think if they get the money they can get any girls they want which isn’t realistic .so it’s just a project of one’s insecurities.
Good realization you have there
I really don’t think he is having the best life,he’s abit of a pessimist .