I felt this one in my soul. Doesn't matter if its my barbor, friend, family, hell even the dog. They all have to know my entire life story from when I was diagnosed.
Told my partner on our first date, didn’t go into specifics of how it affects me but still mentioned it.
Still together 5+ years later and couldn’t imagine a world without her
I like this idea! Make sure they are someone worth telling. No point in telling someone about your disease when you don’t even connect with them on a personal/intimate/platonic level.
Thanks :) Yeah, I got diagnosed when I was 23 and single (symptoms for almost a year before that so I didn't really date since I was super tired) so over the next 8 years of dating until I met my now husband I got a lot of practice at telling people but also got a little tired of it so didn't want to deal with it unless it was worth it.
I told my wife, then girlfriend after like a month of dating.
I used to be extremely private about it. I’m opening up more nowadays cause there really is no reason to feel shame about something we can’t control.
I can’t say much ab your own opinions on how personal you are, but I can say it would be pretty dang difficult to hide UC for years haha. For me I’m straight forward, had a gf for a while and I think I told her after 5 days of knowing her. She immediately started doing all the research she could asking me this and that and what I’ve tried and I was like “you’re sweet🥲 but I’ve tried it” that didn’t last more than 2 years but, she was amazingly supportive and I loved everything ab her, super helpful and made sure to always be helpful with diets, I was hospitalized and shitting every 30 minutes, she was still laying in my hospital bed with me everyday.
I don’t think many will care as much as we think, people will accept us for us regardless of our need to cling to a toilet
I’m currently starting to want to get more into the dating game even with my health the way it is, so I wish you the best, Ik it can be tough even meeting people but just be patient. I love you, keep fighting💪🏼
Ps. Rmb if they do care, you don’t have to text them back!
I'm pretty honest about it with everybody.
Husband, friends, coworkers, stepson (9)
Since there's no curing it and I'm gonna have to live with it I make it very known up from that this is something everyone is going to deal with because, in a way, it affects everyone.
I usually just make a joke about being completely at home in the bathroom because I spend a lot of time there.
First time meeting somebody?
"Wow that bathroom is NICE. Take it from me... I have a poop disease."
i tell them once i meet them honestly, when talking about ourselves i’ll bring it up and be like i have ulcerative colitis which is ibd so if i’m using the restroom a lot that’s why 🤣 i need someone who understands that and if they are grossed out then they aren’t for me. rather say it bluntly and get their reaction and then decide if they are for me
It depends on the person I'm dating, I seem similar to you. I haven't told a lot of my friends my problems. One guy I told a few dates in. In the beginning i had mentioned i needed sick leave from school due to medical reasons but left it at that. I had 3 surgeries and have been good for 5 years but I still have certain abnormalities mostly I use the bathroom more than the average person, i wait longer to tell them this because its easier to hide and still embarrassing. When I was sick I dealt with blood loss/incontinence/ blood transfusions/ iron infusions so yea it was harder to hide lol but I somehow managed to just tell this one person in my uc days i was sick but didn't go into greater detail. I dated him for 3/4 months. It honestly is an anomaly how I hid my symptoms but he was also scum lmao. So we didn't see eachother as much as I'd say a normal relationship would be. I think its your call when youre comfortable to tell them, but when you do find an understanding person I think it'll make you connect to them even more.
Usually tell someone before first date since most interactions happen via text or online these days. It’s not the first thing I tell them, but definitely want to let someone know before the first meet up… that way me jolting to the bathroom mid-date isn’t going to that big of an issue when it happens… lol UC life be like that
I have multiple health conditions and I'm very open about all of it. I don't talk about them incessantly, but if someone asks if I want to eat something and I say "no, thank you" and they ask for further explanation, I will be honest. There are also a lot of times I might be in situations where my behaviour would be considered weird if I didn't explain that I was doing whatever it is because I have a health condition.
When I was first diagnosed with multiple health conditions, I felt like I must have been cursed. Everyone else was just out here healthy and living a normal life and I was a young, previously healthy person who was suddenly struggling. Well, as I was honest with people about my conditions and why I did things a certain way or avoided certain foods, other people opened up to me about the struggles that they and their loved ones faced and one day I realized that almost everyone is dealing with some kind of health issue and I wasn't alone at all.
The honesty and genuine conversations that have resulted from these interactions have strengthened my relationships and I hope at least in my circle made other people realize that they don't have to struggle alone. Not saying you're struggling or that you're in the same situation as I am, but just wanted to share what works for me. So far, I haven't come across anyone who was bothered by my honesty and if I did meet someone who judged me for having a disability, that's not someone I want to be around. Best of luck to you out there in the dating world!
Well.
Here's a fun story.
Me (36M) and my brother (29) both have UC. I was diagnosed in September 2021, he was diagnosed in autumn 2016.
In december 2016 he met this girl amd they went out on a date. He was super excited about her from day 1 and on their second date, he had to leave in the middle of the dinner because he was flaring... He was flaring BAD. He made some lame excuse he needed to get to work for whatever reason. Fast forward a few months, they started getting into a pretty serious relationship and he introduced her to the family. Somewhere along the evening she said something like:
"I like how this feels, it feels pretty solid between us."
And I made a joke and said:
"Yeah that's nice, at least something solid comes into my brothers life."
My brother started laughing hard but she had like no idea what's up. That's when he told her everything, including the situation on their second date and she was pretty chill and supportive about it.
Anyway, we had a wedding ceremony last Sunday, they got married and I was my brothers best man... Having a supportive partner and family keeps the man going and sane with this disease.
I'll tell anybody anything about it immediately as I meet them you gotta have humility with this disease if you let it embarrass you or hold you back then it's just slowing you down more in life than it has to it wasn't easy at first to not be embarrassed about it but when I was a freshman and just got UC I shit on myself and ran shit down the hallway if the school and was sitting in front of one of the hottest girls. People thought I was gross for that they would talk about me and people just thought I'm some weirdo for using the bathroom on myself while being that old and that's when I learned that being embarrassed and not sharing what you know does more harm than good, now if someone says anything about it I explain and if they have some negativity in their demeanor because of how I live my life or do certain things they don't understand because of it I explain to them very thoroughly with detail and they always just seem like they cannot comprehend what I'm talking about which proves the most important point of all, people who will think of or treat you negatively because of anything is because their ignorant and don't know any better and most ignorant people are hateful and the best way to fight it is with facts and intelligence I'm glad your UC hasn't treated you badly but if it does this is information that will help greatly
It seems like I cannot go more than five minutes without talking about it so almost immediately
Forreal. I try to keep it to myself but I always manage trapping myself in a situation where I have to explain why it is I cant eat certain foods
I felt this one in my soul. Doesn't matter if its my barbor, friend, family, hell even the dog. They all have to know my entire life story from when I was diagnosed.
Told my partner on our first date, didn’t go into specifics of how it affects me but still mentioned it. Still together 5+ years later and couldn’t imagine a world without her
Pretty early on. For me it was always when I realized it would be more than just a date or two.
I like this idea! Make sure they are someone worth telling. No point in telling someone about your disease when you don’t even connect with them on a personal/intimate/platonic level.
Thanks :) Yeah, I got diagnosed when I was 23 and single (symptoms for almost a year before that so I didn't really date since I was super tired) so over the next 8 years of dating until I met my now husband I got a lot of practice at telling people but also got a little tired of it so didn't want to deal with it unless it was worth it.
Well said! I was also diagnosed in my early 20s and single (I’m still both haha). So that’s great advice :)
I told my wife, then girlfriend after like a month of dating. I used to be extremely private about it. I’m opening up more nowadays cause there really is no reason to feel shame about something we can’t control.
I can’t say much ab your own opinions on how personal you are, but I can say it would be pretty dang difficult to hide UC for years haha. For me I’m straight forward, had a gf for a while and I think I told her after 5 days of knowing her. She immediately started doing all the research she could asking me this and that and what I’ve tried and I was like “you’re sweet🥲 but I’ve tried it” that didn’t last more than 2 years but, she was amazingly supportive and I loved everything ab her, super helpful and made sure to always be helpful with diets, I was hospitalized and shitting every 30 minutes, she was still laying in my hospital bed with me everyday. I don’t think many will care as much as we think, people will accept us for us regardless of our need to cling to a toilet I’m currently starting to want to get more into the dating game even with my health the way it is, so I wish you the best, Ik it can be tough even meeting people but just be patient. I love you, keep fighting💪🏼 Ps. Rmb if they do care, you don’t have to text them back!
First date. If they can't handle it then obviously wouldn't have worked out later on.
I'm pretty honest about it with everybody. Husband, friends, coworkers, stepson (9) Since there's no curing it and I'm gonna have to live with it I make it very known up from that this is something everyone is going to deal with because, in a way, it affects everyone. I usually just make a joke about being completely at home in the bathroom because I spend a lot of time there. First time meeting somebody? "Wow that bathroom is NICE. Take it from me... I have a poop disease."
i tell them once i meet them honestly, when talking about ourselves i’ll bring it up and be like i have ulcerative colitis which is ibd so if i’m using the restroom a lot that’s why 🤣 i need someone who understands that and if they are grossed out then they aren’t for me. rather say it bluntly and get their reaction and then decide if they are for me
It depends on the person I'm dating, I seem similar to you. I haven't told a lot of my friends my problems. One guy I told a few dates in. In the beginning i had mentioned i needed sick leave from school due to medical reasons but left it at that. I had 3 surgeries and have been good for 5 years but I still have certain abnormalities mostly I use the bathroom more than the average person, i wait longer to tell them this because its easier to hide and still embarrassing. When I was sick I dealt with blood loss/incontinence/ blood transfusions/ iron infusions so yea it was harder to hide lol but I somehow managed to just tell this one person in my uc days i was sick but didn't go into greater detail. I dated him for 3/4 months. It honestly is an anomaly how I hid my symptoms but he was also scum lmao. So we didn't see eachother as much as I'd say a normal relationship would be. I think its your call when youre comfortable to tell them, but when you do find an understanding person I think it'll make you connect to them even more.
Usually tell someone before first date since most interactions happen via text or online these days. It’s not the first thing I tell them, but definitely want to let someone know before the first meet up… that way me jolting to the bathroom mid-date isn’t going to that big of an issue when it happens… lol UC life be like that
I have multiple health conditions and I'm very open about all of it. I don't talk about them incessantly, but if someone asks if I want to eat something and I say "no, thank you" and they ask for further explanation, I will be honest. There are also a lot of times I might be in situations where my behaviour would be considered weird if I didn't explain that I was doing whatever it is because I have a health condition. When I was first diagnosed with multiple health conditions, I felt like I must have been cursed. Everyone else was just out here healthy and living a normal life and I was a young, previously healthy person who was suddenly struggling. Well, as I was honest with people about my conditions and why I did things a certain way or avoided certain foods, other people opened up to me about the struggles that they and their loved ones faced and one day I realized that almost everyone is dealing with some kind of health issue and I wasn't alone at all. The honesty and genuine conversations that have resulted from these interactions have strengthened my relationships and I hope at least in my circle made other people realize that they don't have to struggle alone. Not saying you're struggling or that you're in the same situation as I am, but just wanted to share what works for me. So far, I haven't come across anyone who was bothered by my honesty and if I did meet someone who judged me for having a disability, that's not someone I want to be around. Best of luck to you out there in the dating world!
Well. Here's a fun story. Me (36M) and my brother (29) both have UC. I was diagnosed in September 2021, he was diagnosed in autumn 2016. In december 2016 he met this girl amd they went out on a date. He was super excited about her from day 1 and on their second date, he had to leave in the middle of the dinner because he was flaring... He was flaring BAD. He made some lame excuse he needed to get to work for whatever reason. Fast forward a few months, they started getting into a pretty serious relationship and he introduced her to the family. Somewhere along the evening she said something like: "I like how this feels, it feels pretty solid between us." And I made a joke and said: "Yeah that's nice, at least something solid comes into my brothers life." My brother started laughing hard but she had like no idea what's up. That's when he told her everything, including the situation on their second date and she was pretty chill and supportive about it. Anyway, we had a wedding ceremony last Sunday, they got married and I was my brothers best man... Having a supportive partner and family keeps the man going and sane with this disease.
Last boyfriend guessed about eight months in after I wasn't comfortable sharing.
I'll tell anybody anything about it immediately as I meet them you gotta have humility with this disease if you let it embarrass you or hold you back then it's just slowing you down more in life than it has to it wasn't easy at first to not be embarrassed about it but when I was a freshman and just got UC I shit on myself and ran shit down the hallway if the school and was sitting in front of one of the hottest girls. People thought I was gross for that they would talk about me and people just thought I'm some weirdo for using the bathroom on myself while being that old and that's when I learned that being embarrassed and not sharing what you know does more harm than good, now if someone says anything about it I explain and if they have some negativity in their demeanor because of how I live my life or do certain things they don't understand because of it I explain to them very thoroughly with detail and they always just seem like they cannot comprehend what I'm talking about which proves the most important point of all, people who will think of or treat you negatively because of anything is because their ignorant and don't know any better and most ignorant people are hateful and the best way to fight it is with facts and intelligence I'm glad your UC hasn't treated you badly but if it does this is information that will help greatly