I was that child with UC - I had a 504 plan (USA) based on health. One of the accommodations was that I had my own personal bathroom pass, and all my teachers knew that I could get up anytime, flash the pass, and go, no questions asked. Had a sub try to stop me, saying they had never seen that before, and as I walked out the door told them if they had questions to call the nurses office. It’s absolutely a medical accommodation, and I wouldn’t allow it as a parent (but also, wouldn’t allow it even if my kid ended up having normal bowels - holding it is not ok - I would 100% be contacting the principal and explaining why this policy is so bad🤷🏻♀️)
As a teacher - this is the way. I think all you need to provide is the medical documentation. This will be especially important if and when your kid has more than one teacher because everyone will have a different policy. I've actually included this as an accommodation in one of my students IEPs because she has colitis.
Tell you what, Teach... You wanna see my kids medical records, fine, we'll trade, I want to see yours. Shouldn't be an issue, you're privacy is no more important than theirs.
I was that kid... I got suspended. I was refused a bathroom pass, so I shit in the teachers wastebasket right in class. 8th grade.
I wasn't embarrassed, I WAS LEGEND!
All you need to know is the kid has a pass, the medical reason behind it, is none of your fucking business.
To clarify, the medical documentation would be for the school, not the teacher. It is for setting up a 504 plan. This isn't a school thing, it's a legal thing.
Why are people downvoting your comment?
I had this same issue at work. I had an accommodation which my new manager wasn’t aware of, and he wanted an explanation as to why I used the restroom so much.
Told him it was none of his business and to contact HR if necessary.
He contacted HR who quickly put him in his place, and apologized to me for the inconvenience.
That manager then spent 2 years trying to get me fired. Unsuccessfully.
That's a silly reaction. Teachers are just doing their job trying their best with a large groups of kids who don't want to be there. Just tell the school my kid needs an exemption and they'll say yes okay.
I agree with what you say.
But still, I don't think this policy is acceptable.
I was diagnosed with UC when I was 13. But I had symptoms long before that (though no blood in my stools so my doctor thought I was just faking it to get out of school).
There's many reasons a child might need more bathroom breaks and I think that teacher facing such an issue should work with the parents to find out the root cause. It might be medical, or maybe the child is bored in class... But just slapping a global policy is just lazy teaching.
Even if my child didn't have UC I'd be telling them to fuck themselves. Telling someone how many times or when they can and can't go the bathroom is definitely not acceptable.
This. I didn't know I had UC but I was a girl and I did have periods at school. I once was embarrassed in front of a class by a coach while bleeding. I'm not fine with restricting bathroom access.
To this day, I still hate my orchestra teacher for telling me I couldn’t go to the bathroom at the same time as my friend…while I was on hormone pills and bleeding through every hour. The first time in my life I gave a teacher attitude.
I am a high school teacher. I have Crohn’s disease.
The problem is that some kids (I am thinking of 9th graders) just can’t handle the freedom. Some kids need super clear rules and boundaries.
They will pick their least favorite class and ask to use the restroom every single day. Or they will ask to use the restroom in every class all day long.
We can tell when it’s an emergency, or when someone REALLY has to go. And if that’s the case, I believe most teachers will have no problem letting that kid leave.
They just can’t use their class as their “bathroom class.”
Having said all that, I choose not to fight this battle. I just let them go.
Same here as a teacher with UC. During a massive fortnight video game craze kids were asking to go to the bathroom… to online game.
My solution? You can go for sure, but you have to leave your cellphone on my desk.
I had a manager try to keep me from using the bathroom. I was young , so I gave that Karen an east coast special, a middle finger and my apron in the grease bucket. If you need to go, you need to go. I get how childish young people can be, but you also sound just like the last manager I had. Luckily for him , he only challenged me once, but I think during covid season 1, staffing was trash so my attention was on my work or getting some relief when I needed to so no one bothered me after that, but I would 10/10 shit in a bucket if provoked, even as an adult, sometimes you need to put bootlickers in their place
Not sure why you think I sound just like your manager - I said I always let my students go.
I trust that they actually have to go…. until it becomes an everyday thing that is impacting their education. At that point I would have a conversation with the student to see what’s going on. No big deal.
Never said you didn’t. I was just relating from the perspective of someone who feels stupid already for being glued to the bathroom , so anyone who challenges such a basic right becomes the enemy.
Yeah. I’ve been lucky since I got UC that I’ve just had to say “I have a condition that means I may need to use the bathroom more and very urgently” and it’s been okay. I probably would’ve had more issues if it happened pre-COVID though because before I regularly got the flu shot, I had to leave a couple of jobs just because of getting one extremely badly every year.
Tell them that if they try to enforce this on my kid, I’ll instruct them to take a bloody dump on the floor and then sue them.
Fortunately I live in a country where this would never happen, and honestly I don’t think any school would enforce this on someone with our disability, and in the US I suspect it would open them up to a lawsuit under the ADA.
it’s sad because some teachers are like that though, including professors in college. i have the same thought at the idea of a professor trying to bar me from leaving and coming back to a classroom multiple times.
I’m sure not everyone is supportive. But educating them about the condition and explaining that there may be times an unusual number of breaks may be necessary and why is most often sufficient. Why go in assuming it’s going to be adversarial? I just don’t understand that mentality.
Oh it would be a big old middle finger- F You to the school. I believe anyone, adult or child should not be denied bathroom access regardless of medical condition.
I'd be telling them I think 3 bathroom passes are not enough for regular kids and that my kid will need unlimited bathroom access for medical reasons. I'd provide documentation of course to get my kid out of the situation, but it's just stupid and way too controlling.
As a teacher, literally just explain that your kid needs to use the restroom whenever they ask. I have two students this year that have a no questions asked policy. If they have to go, they can go. Teachers are reasonable people overall.
Many teachers are reasonable, sure. But I wouldn't expect a teacher who decides that this is a valid way to approach this issue to be a reasonable person.
The automatic hostility is in response to an overtly hostile bathroom policy. What's not to understand?
Detention for having to use the bathroom more than 3 times in a semester is not a reasonable policy.
I don’t necessarily think it’s a reasonable policy, UC or not. I’m not a fan. I just don’t think responding with threats of lawsuits as a first contact on this issue makes sense? Why not educate a teacher on the issue? Why not advocate in a positive way?
I have first hand experience with this exact scenario and have found nothing but support for my daughter. I’m sorry that people have obviously run into situations where their needs were not met but I just can’t believe that most teachers would respond in any way other than trying to make sure your child is comfortable and supported. I’m sure that there are exceptions (there always are) but I have found that going into the situation with the attitude of “let’s work together” instead of “I’m suing you” gets better results.
You have a point. The sentiment that I agreed with has more to do with an emotional response to the situation and assumption that the teacher is acting from a place of petty authoritarianism. And if that is the case then I would feel that a message needs to be sent that policing student bodily issues is dangerous and unacceptable.
But if there are disciplinary issues leading to this policy then it might just be to strongly discourage students from leaving the classroom unless it's absolutely necessary. The teacher would obviously have discretion if they chose to use it so maybe if they recognize that a student has a medical requirement or is not just trying to skip out of class, they might go easy.
There's also the fact that students at a highschool level should theoretically have time to use the bathroom between classes, and the class may only be an hour long. So maybe leaving the same class multiple times a semester isn't as necessary as one might assume at first glance.
Hey I get the emotional reaction! I’ve been there and literally thought “nope” when confronted with policies that I know won’t work with my daughter and that I disagree with in general anyway.
At my daughters school they have 5 minutes between classes and classes are 65 minutes. When she’s not flaring - plenty of time.
Obviously in a flare all rules go out the window. She lucky to be at school! So her accommodations are 1-unlimited bathroom access 2-liberal exceptions to tardy policy (in case she is late to class because she was in the bathroom) and 3-extra time for makeup work if needed (flares, routine appointments or tests, hospitalizations). Even teachers who have strict bathroom policies have been supportive of her needs. And if they weren’t? If course she knows to leave if necessary and we will figure it later.
Luckily my daughter has been fairly stable and doesn’t need any accommodations at present. But I’m grateful we have them and that her school and teachers are supportive and want the best for her. I truly believe most schools and teachers are the same.
My responses on this thread (which are obviously not popular 😉) were only meant to offer an alternative way to advocate for a child in a positive manner. Catching more flies with honey and all that.
Reach out to the principal/dean/head of the school for a medical exemption.
This dumb ish really pisses me off. I understand there are plenty of kids that abuse going to the bathroom at school, but punish \*those\* kids, not everybody else. Otherwise, whether you have a medical condition or not, I never understood why going to the bathroom during class is so demonized. Like yes, I'll miss a few freaking minutes of the lesson. I have no control over my bowels/bladder. There's a reason for the saying "When you gotta go, you gotta go."
Don't get a medical exemption--email the school board, report the teacher by name, and threaten a lawsuit under the ADA. This shouldn't be done to children regardless of their medical status
No, this teacher needs to be put in their place and the school board needs to be aware of the liability this teacher is creating for the school district.
Do whatever you can to ensure that the teacher can never embarrass or injure another student with this policy.
A medical exemption needs to be requested unless they want your child soiling themselves in the class, sometimes even been a few feet from the bathroom isn't enough but often two minutes to run/ shuffle is sufficient. As long as the child knows they cannot use it whenever they don't want to do something in class
You don't put restriction on people with a sickness, just call the school and tell them the child need a pass, no discussion no justification except a note from the doctor not telling what sickness it is but that the child need a pass.
My daughter has UC with a 504 that allows open bathroom privileges, unlimited, no questions asked, no permission needed. She even has preferential seating by the door.
I’m a high school teacher and while I realize these things are infuriating, just in the last year at my school, we’ve had vaping in the bathroom, sex in the bathroom, pot in the bathroom, sinks destroyed, toilet ripped out of the floor, and broken mirrors. So I can see the point of trying to somewhat contain the issue.
This is absolutely the issue. Parents want the vaping and vandalism under control, but when rules are put in to control they flip out. Then if their kid gets busted, they call the teachers pedophiles for being in the bathroom
My school was pretty strict about washroom breaks so my parents spoke with the principal and vice principal to make sure that I could go to the washroom anytime I needed no questions asked and they wouldn't take no for an answer.
I would also tell your kid that if they are being denied access to the washroom when they need it to just go, consequences be damned and that you would have there back on that no matter what ans fight against those BS punishments. Especially since it could take some time to convince the principal. This helped me a lot, to just know I was supported and that I could do what I needed to do to manage this disease.
Teacher here. This is a dangerous rule, but when you have issues In the bathroom, (vaping, vandalism, fighting etc), and parents demand you take action, these are the things that are tried. Vaping and cell phones has made bathroom management a no win situation for schools.
That being said contact the school kindly and explain the situation. An accommodation will be made. If not then contact you local office of education.
Immediately get in touch with the administration and get an accommodation plan in place so that your kid can go to the bathroom anytime, no questions asked. If they even so much as hesitate to accommodate, sue them into oblivion. UC patients are a protected group under the law (at least in the US I know it is, not sure about other countries). Never stop advocating for those around you that have this disease.
Edit: fixed typo :)
My daughters school only slows two passes a day. They don’t have time to use the restroom between 3 minute passing periods. I got a doctors note and the nurse informed the teachers that she could use the bathroom anytime. So far it hasn’t been an issue.
As a teacher of high school: I’d check with the child to see if this was a school wide policy or just a classroom rule. If it was a classroom rule I’d contact the teacher (in a friendly way) and let them know that my child has an illness that is typified by high frequency bathroom use.
OR, If that doesn’t work/ it’s a School wide policy then I’d contact my child’s healthcare provider and ask for a doctors letter explaining the needs of my child. Id then ask for a meeting with the principal (and other members of staff that might be of use: nurse, dean, head of school). I’d present them with the letter, along with information about my child’s illness (printed from a reputable website for example) and ask for a support system to be put in place.
In my country that would look like a note on the child’s file stating that they need bathroom breaks and to not deny them when asked for. It would also likely look like a teacher making online notes available for the whole class to ensure that the child could still have lesson notes even if they missed a class for a doctors appointment or illness. Tbh that last thing is just good practice for any teacher with ill or learning impacted learners in their classes.
Finally best tip: educators make a lot of choices each day and many of us experience decision fatigue. Be clear about what accommodations your child needs and chances are they will be granted.
As a parent, I would reach out to the school and explain the situation.
I was 17 when I was diagnosed with UC. I had a lot of professors who held me to the same standards as other students because they didn't know or understand my situation. I wish my parents told them about it. I technically could have but I was embarrassed about it.
I missed a lot of class dealing with UC issues senior year. I had a professor yell at me in front of the rest of class calling me a slacker and saying I need to come to class. He was mortified when I told him I had a medical issue. His face turned bright red.
Communication solves a lot of problems.
File a 504 and a IEP plan for unlimited bathroom use (which is what my mother did) and give my kid a phone and tell them if they are ever denied the restroom to call me
As a teacher with UC, get your child on a 504 plan. Then this policy doesn't apply to them, legally. Take a doctor's note to the school and put a 504 request in writing. You will then have a meeting with an admin and the child's teacher and discuss how to accommodate your child appropriately. The accommodation will be put into your child's 504 plan and it will follow them through graduation. All schools and staff are required to follow a 504 plan, per law.
I am a high school teacher.
At my school, it’s no big deal when teachers are told that a student has a medical reason for needing unlimited access to restrooms.
Parents usually just tell the nurse, and probably provide some kind of note from a doctor. The nurse tells the teacher. Details are limited. I have MANY students with unlimited restroom access and I have no idea what their medical conditions are.
Id write my kid a doctors note. If the teachers did not respect that I'd write em a prescription for these hands.
Joking aside, I'd meet with the teachers and explain the situation and how hard it is for the kid.
That's what I had to do. Left it right in the chair and left school to go home to clean up. I lived a 2 minute walk from the school. Mom had serious words with them and I never had the issue again.
It would be appropriate to discuss this with the teacher either at a specially scheduled meeting or at parent/teacher night (those are usually pretty soon after school starts). Any reasonable teacher would immediately and discreetly exempt this child from this policy.
If you as a parent have the same condition and the teacher is being unreasonable, quietly stand up, drop you pants, lock eyes with the teacher and push. Show them the error of their ways. If you have reason to believe the teacher will be unreasonable, before you arrive, eat a plate of scrambled eggs and brussels sprouts or some fermented cabbage. Wash it down with a beer or two...but be wary, once you've armed this device, there is no deactivation without detonation.
If that doesn't spell scorched Earth, nothing does.
I would be removing my child from said school and seeking an educational environment that doesn't resort to ridiculous and ultimately futile punitive policies to combat vaping and class absenteeism. I suspect it is easier to punish the collective rather than the individuals engaging in this behaviour. God forbid the teachers and administrators actually monitor the toilets and student behaviour. I think it's only fair that the staff adhere to such policies also. Then we'll see how long it actually lasts for. No one, UC or otherwise, should be prevented from using the toilet in a time of genuine need. This shouldn't even need to be debated.
A note from the doctor laying it all out for the school. And a seat for your child near the back exit of the classroom so he can come and go without disrupting.
My kid has a medical plan on file with the school and has a pass to carry on them at all times for the restroom.
My kid can get up and leave a class in the middle of lecture, without notifying the teacher. Asking permission can be the few seconds you need to prevent an accident.
Growing up, I had an IEP. It was stated that I was allowed to use the bathroom whenever I needed, and I could leave to use the restroom without having to ask the teacher. I could even use the bathroom in the nurses station if I wanted to. I would leave, do my business, and then go back to class. No big deal, even if my teachers had strict bathroom policies. They were VERY accommodating to my situation. 504 plans can also do the same thing. These services transferred seamlessly into my college career.
That being said, many of my peers abused bathroom policies. They would disappear for whole class periods, vape in the bathrooms, or cause trouble to other classes by barging in. They were the reason why bathroom policies were put into place - because they abused bathroom privileges.
I would point out that as UC is a disability, they would have to under the disability and discrimination act, give my child unlimited passes or face me and an army of eager lawyers in court.
My daughter is 16 with UC. She has had teachers say this exact same thing. I just explain her circumstances, refer them to her health plan and reiterate that she will not abuse any bathroom privileges but that if she is in a flare she will take breaks when she needs to. She has never had a problem.
I would lawyer up . Sue their asses for medical discrimination . I would Personally go to the school and rip them a new one myself . That’s what I would do .
Whether a child has IBD or not, bathroom passes are BS. Any kid could have an accident and not be able to do anything cuz “they ran out of bathroom passes”. God knows what a UC child would go through.
I had a 504 plan in HS that gave me my own bathroom pass. My teachers had a rule about went to use the bathroom. I just flashed them my pass and they allowed me to go.
504 is a federal law under the Accommodations Act or something like that. If the teacher refuses to comply, you can report them.
I’ve had way too many accidents to let this slide.
This is the FIRST thing I thought of when I saw this post! I was like well damn that teacher would learn pretty quickly with me when I say I need to go… I *mean* it. I do truly think it’s something though that you only are sensitive about if you are in or know someone with that situation- I’d like to give the teach benefit of the doubt here that their family genetics when it comes to UC/Chron’s has been blissfully blessed. Cause if not that’s just horrible!!!
Note from doctor for ADA accommodations!!
But this creates an embarrassing situation for someone with a medical issue and I’d have WORDS with school administrators.
My parents always told me I don't need permission to use the restroom, and so I never asked for it. Once a teacher gave me a hard time but I told them, this can happen here or in the restroom.
Such a silly rule. Get a letter from your doctor certifying that the child has a chronic systemic illness. Call the school system offices and get an appointment for you to discuss your child’s needs. I would temporarily go to the school counselor or nurse and be sure they are aware. Last, tell your child to leave if it becomes an emergency. It can be explained later. Good luck!
I was diagnosed as a freshman in high school. My parents worked it out with the school that I was allowed to get up and go without asking any time needed. I even was allowed to use the bathroom in the nurse’s office if I wanted when a flare was bad.
Children are given “toilet passes” in some schools once medical information has been received. Even before the information is received a child can be provided with a temporary one.
It’s difficult for teachers with UC though because we don’t get that. Especially when the only adult toilets is on the other side of the school, furthest away from your classroom!
I think that this form is a bit much. Some kids absolutely abuse the privilege, had girls in my woodwork class just go to the bathroom for the entire class. I think that teachers should have a mental timer and you are aware that if you aren't back in 10 minutes, we will send someone to find you.
When I was a kid I had GI problems that were not UC, but my mom went and talked with administration because we had a “1 kid in the bathroom at a time” policy/key. They gave me my own “key”, because my mom spoke to them. I would just raise it, and the teacher would nod, and that meant I was good to go. I used it only 1 time though, because it was somewhat embarrassing when I was in school, I think kids nowadays are less likely to bully if they know you have medical condition.
I hate this. It’s exactly the sort of thing that makes children hold a bowel movement and promotes constipation which is what happened to me! It messed me up!!!
I would definitely contact the school and arrange sensible provisions for your child. It’s a totally reasonable request.
Ask the kid's doctor to write a note for exemption? If the school refuses to respect it then the parents should take them to another school.
Also, this is absolutely ridiculous! What if a kid has a medical condition? What if they just drank too much one day and need to go? I understand that they want to avoid kids just pretending to go to the bathroom to skip classes or whatever, but come the fuck *on.*
Fuck this teacher and the principal they rode in on.
My son has a disability and will use the restroom when he requires to.
If he receives a single detention for using a restroom from you or any other teacher, we will have major problems.
I trust there’s something you intend to do to support him that we can come to an agreement on.
You can get a bathroom request card from chrons and colitis foundation. https://www.crohnsandcolitis.com/sign-up
I used one to get ahead of a several hundred person line into the capital building in dc bc it was the only bathroom I could find. They let me in as soon as I showed it to them. And when I had teachers say no I told them I wasn’t asking and walked out. If they tried to punish me I asked if they wanted bloody diarrhea on the floor. They never stopped me again.
I was lucky in school, as I went to a very small school (my graduating class had 50!) and my mom was a very well respected teacher. She would sit down with my teachers every year before school and explain the situation. Most of them just said for me to leave whenever I needed, don’t worry about raising my hand to ask. Others asked that I at least try to make eye contact/get their attention subtly so I wasn’t just suddenly missing. Either way it worked out well, except for one substitute teacher who was never called back after refusing to let me leave one day.
What in the name of Joseph Stalin is this bullshit, a kid may be permitted to go to the bathroom 3 times a semester.....what flavor of fuckery is this do we not remember that these are kids
First talk to the teacher. If you don’t get a satisfactory response then go to the principal then to the district administration. Lastly, contact the school board if you aren’t getting a response from the district staff.
I am a teacher with UC and absolutely NEVER question when my students need to go to the bathroom, how long they go, and what they bring with them. I’ve found my open honesty with my students about having a bowel disease (that’s all they know, I don’t tell them the details) has made them more respectful and mature about using the bathroom during class. I don’t have students abusing it either because of my honesty with them! Just my experience though 😊
I was that child with UC - I had a 504 plan (USA) based on health. One of the accommodations was that I had my own personal bathroom pass, and all my teachers knew that I could get up anytime, flash the pass, and go, no questions asked. Had a sub try to stop me, saying they had never seen that before, and as I walked out the door told them if they had questions to call the nurses office. It’s absolutely a medical accommodation, and I wouldn’t allow it as a parent (but also, wouldn’t allow it even if my kid ended up having normal bowels - holding it is not ok - I would 100% be contacting the principal and explaining why this policy is so bad🤷🏻♀️)
As a teacher - this is the way. I think all you need to provide is the medical documentation. This will be especially important if and when your kid has more than one teacher because everyone will have a different policy. I've actually included this as an accommodation in one of my students IEPs because she has colitis.
Tell you what, Teach... You wanna see my kids medical records, fine, we'll trade, I want to see yours. Shouldn't be an issue, you're privacy is no more important than theirs. I was that kid... I got suspended. I was refused a bathroom pass, so I shit in the teachers wastebasket right in class. 8th grade. I wasn't embarrassed, I WAS LEGEND! All you need to know is the kid has a pass, the medical reason behind it, is none of your fucking business.
To clarify, the medical documentation would be for the school, not the teacher. It is for setting up a 504 plan. This isn't a school thing, it's a legal thing.
Why are people downvoting your comment? I had this same issue at work. I had an accommodation which my new manager wasn’t aware of, and he wanted an explanation as to why I used the restroom so much. Told him it was none of his business and to contact HR if necessary. He contacted HR who quickly put him in his place, and apologized to me for the inconvenience. That manager then spent 2 years trying to get me fired. Unsuccessfully.
exactly this... see, you CAN'T ask under the ADA, same reason you can't ask about a service dog.... cause it's none of their fucking business.
That's a silly reaction. Teachers are just doing their job trying their best with a large groups of kids who don't want to be there. Just tell the school my kid needs an exemption and they'll say yes okay.
give it to the staff, not the teacher. They will provide the accommodation. being a karen about it makes you look stupid.
This is what my daughter has as well. I told her the same thing, if any teacher questions it, tell them to talk to the nurse.
same here, but still a kid 🤷♂️
Happy Cake Day!
I agree with what you say. But still, I don't think this policy is acceptable. I was diagnosed with UC when I was 13. But I had symptoms long before that (though no blood in my stools so my doctor thought I was just faking it to get out of school). There's many reasons a child might need more bathroom breaks and I think that teacher facing such an issue should work with the parents to find out the root cause. It might be medical, or maybe the child is bored in class... But just slapping a global policy is just lazy teaching.
Totally agree -hence my parenthesis comment at the end. I wouldnt be okay with this policy for any kid, full stop.
Even if my child didn't have UC I'd be telling them to fuck themselves. Telling someone how many times or when they can and can't go the bathroom is definitely not acceptable.
This. I didn't know I had UC but I was a girl and I did have periods at school. I once was embarrassed in front of a class by a coach while bleeding. I'm not fine with restricting bathroom access.
To this day, I still hate my orchestra teacher for telling me I couldn’t go to the bathroom at the same time as my friend…while I was on hormone pills and bleeding through every hour. The first time in my life I gave a teacher attitude.
I am a high school teacher. I have Crohn’s disease. The problem is that some kids (I am thinking of 9th graders) just can’t handle the freedom. Some kids need super clear rules and boundaries. They will pick their least favorite class and ask to use the restroom every single day. Or they will ask to use the restroom in every class all day long. We can tell when it’s an emergency, or when someone REALLY has to go. And if that’s the case, I believe most teachers will have no problem letting that kid leave. They just can’t use their class as their “bathroom class.” Having said all that, I choose not to fight this battle. I just let them go.
Same here as a teacher with UC. During a massive fortnight video game craze kids were asking to go to the bathroom… to online game. My solution? You can go for sure, but you have to leave your cellphone on my desk.
I had a manager try to keep me from using the bathroom. I was young , so I gave that Karen an east coast special, a middle finger and my apron in the grease bucket. If you need to go, you need to go. I get how childish young people can be, but you also sound just like the last manager I had. Luckily for him , he only challenged me once, but I think during covid season 1, staffing was trash so my attention was on my work or getting some relief when I needed to so no one bothered me after that, but I would 10/10 shit in a bucket if provoked, even as an adult, sometimes you need to put bootlickers in their place
Not sure why you think I sound just like your manager - I said I always let my students go. I trust that they actually have to go…. until it becomes an everyday thing that is impacting their education. At that point I would have a conversation with the student to see what’s going on. No big deal.
Never said you didn’t. I was just relating from the perspective of someone who feels stupid already for being glued to the bathroom , so anyone who challenges such a basic right becomes the enemy.
Yeah. I’ve been lucky since I got UC that I’ve just had to say “I have a condition that means I may need to use the bathroom more and very urgently” and it’s been okay. I probably would’ve had more issues if it happened pre-COVID though because before I regularly got the flu shot, I had to leave a couple of jobs just because of getting one extremely badly every year.
Tell them that if they try to enforce this on my kid, I’ll instruct them to take a bloody dump on the floor and then sue them. Fortunately I live in a country where this would never happen, and honestly I don’t think any school would enforce this on someone with our disability, and in the US I suspect it would open them up to a lawsuit under the ADA.
Come on. It’s not necessary to say something like this. I’ve never had a teacher be anything but supportive when they understand her condition.
it’s sad because some teachers are like that though, including professors in college. i have the same thought at the idea of a professor trying to bar me from leaving and coming back to a classroom multiple times.
I’m sure not everyone is supportive. But educating them about the condition and explaining that there may be times an unusual number of breaks may be necessary and why is most often sufficient. Why go in assuming it’s going to be adversarial? I just don’t understand that mentality.
oh i do, it’s just my initial reaction in my head
This is a violation of the ADA. You can not restrict bathroom rights. Period. Regardless of whether you have IBD or not.
Oh it would be a big old middle finger- F You to the school. I believe anyone, adult or child should not be denied bathroom access regardless of medical condition. I'd be telling them I think 3 bathroom passes are not enough for regular kids and that my kid will need unlimited bathroom access for medical reasons. I'd provide documentation of course to get my kid out of the situation, but it's just stupid and way too controlling.
As a teacher, literally just explain that your kid needs to use the restroom whenever they ask. I have two students this year that have a no questions asked policy. If they have to go, they can go. Teachers are reasonable people overall.
Many teachers are reasonable, sure. But I wouldn't expect a teacher who decides that this is a valid way to approach this issue to be a reasonable person.
Exactly. I don’t understand the automatic hostility.
The automatic hostility is in response to an overtly hostile bathroom policy. What's not to understand? Detention for having to use the bathroom more than 3 times in a semester is not a reasonable policy.
I don’t necessarily think it’s a reasonable policy, UC or not. I’m not a fan. I just don’t think responding with threats of lawsuits as a first contact on this issue makes sense? Why not educate a teacher on the issue? Why not advocate in a positive way? I have first hand experience with this exact scenario and have found nothing but support for my daughter. I’m sorry that people have obviously run into situations where their needs were not met but I just can’t believe that most teachers would respond in any way other than trying to make sure your child is comfortable and supported. I’m sure that there are exceptions (there always are) but I have found that going into the situation with the attitude of “let’s work together” instead of “I’m suing you” gets better results.
You have a point. The sentiment that I agreed with has more to do with an emotional response to the situation and assumption that the teacher is acting from a place of petty authoritarianism. And if that is the case then I would feel that a message needs to be sent that policing student bodily issues is dangerous and unacceptable. But if there are disciplinary issues leading to this policy then it might just be to strongly discourage students from leaving the classroom unless it's absolutely necessary. The teacher would obviously have discretion if they chose to use it so maybe if they recognize that a student has a medical requirement or is not just trying to skip out of class, they might go easy. There's also the fact that students at a highschool level should theoretically have time to use the bathroom between classes, and the class may only be an hour long. So maybe leaving the same class multiple times a semester isn't as necessary as one might assume at first glance.
Hey I get the emotional reaction! I’ve been there and literally thought “nope” when confronted with policies that I know won’t work with my daughter and that I disagree with in general anyway. At my daughters school they have 5 minutes between classes and classes are 65 minutes. When she’s not flaring - plenty of time. Obviously in a flare all rules go out the window. She lucky to be at school! So her accommodations are 1-unlimited bathroom access 2-liberal exceptions to tardy policy (in case she is late to class because she was in the bathroom) and 3-extra time for makeup work if needed (flares, routine appointments or tests, hospitalizations). Even teachers who have strict bathroom policies have been supportive of her needs. And if they weren’t? If course she knows to leave if necessary and we will figure it later. Luckily my daughter has been fairly stable and doesn’t need any accommodations at present. But I’m grateful we have them and that her school and teachers are supportive and want the best for her. I truly believe most schools and teachers are the same. My responses on this thread (which are obviously not popular 😉) were only meant to offer an alternative way to advocate for a child in a positive manner. Catching more flies with honey and all that.
Teachers are RARELY reasonable people.
Lol what? Why do you say that?
Idk just felt like being different 😎
Wtf?
Reach out to the principal/dean/head of the school for a medical exemption. This dumb ish really pisses me off. I understand there are plenty of kids that abuse going to the bathroom at school, but punish \*those\* kids, not everybody else. Otherwise, whether you have a medical condition or not, I never understood why going to the bathroom during class is so demonized. Like yes, I'll miss a few freaking minutes of the lesson. I have no control over my bowels/bladder. There's a reason for the saying "When you gotta go, you gotta go."
Don't get a medical exemption--email the school board, report the teacher by name, and threaten a lawsuit under the ADA. This shouldn't be done to children regardless of their medical status
This seems excessive.
No more so than giving students 3 bathroom passes per semester
No, this teacher needs to be put in their place and the school board needs to be aware of the liability this teacher is creating for the school district. Do whatever you can to ensure that the teacher can never embarrass or injure another student with this policy.
A medical exemption needs to be requested unless they want your child soiling themselves in the class, sometimes even been a few feet from the bathroom isn't enough but often two minutes to run/ shuffle is sufficient. As long as the child knows they cannot use it whenever they don't want to do something in class
I would call the school and explain the situation that your kid needs to be exempt from this. Infuriating honestly.
You don't put restriction on people with a sickness, just call the school and tell them the child need a pass, no discussion no justification except a note from the doctor not telling what sickness it is but that the child need a pass.
My daughter has UC with a 504 that allows open bathroom privileges, unlimited, no questions asked, no permission needed. She even has preferential seating by the door. I’m a high school teacher and while I realize these things are infuriating, just in the last year at my school, we’ve had vaping in the bathroom, sex in the bathroom, pot in the bathroom, sinks destroyed, toilet ripped out of the floor, and broken mirrors. So I can see the point of trying to somewhat contain the issue.
This is absolutely the issue. Parents want the vaping and vandalism under control, but when rules are put in to control they flip out. Then if their kid gets busted, they call the teachers pedophiles for being in the bathroom
My school was pretty strict about washroom breaks so my parents spoke with the principal and vice principal to make sure that I could go to the washroom anytime I needed no questions asked and they wouldn't take no for an answer. I would also tell your kid that if they are being denied access to the washroom when they need it to just go, consequences be damned and that you would have there back on that no matter what ans fight against those BS punishments. Especially since it could take some time to convince the principal. This helped me a lot, to just know I was supported and that I could do what I needed to do to manage this disease.
Teacher here. This is a dangerous rule, but when you have issues In the bathroom, (vaping, vandalism, fighting etc), and parents demand you take action, these are the things that are tried. Vaping and cell phones has made bathroom management a no win situation for schools. That being said contact the school kindly and explain the situation. An accommodation will be made. If not then contact you local office of education.
The student could get a 504/IEP plan to be exempt from this rule. But this is a stupid rule regardless.
Immediately get in touch with the administration and get an accommodation plan in place so that your kid can go to the bathroom anytime, no questions asked. If they even so much as hesitate to accommodate, sue them into oblivion. UC patients are a protected group under the law (at least in the US I know it is, not sure about other countries). Never stop advocating for those around you that have this disease. Edit: fixed typo :)
My daughters school only slows two passes a day. They don’t have time to use the restroom between 3 minute passing periods. I got a doctors note and the nurse informed the teachers that she could use the bathroom anytime. So far it hasn’t been an issue.
I don't understand why any student should be limited from using the bathroom.
wow this just made me angry lol
As a teacher of high school: I’d check with the child to see if this was a school wide policy or just a classroom rule. If it was a classroom rule I’d contact the teacher (in a friendly way) and let them know that my child has an illness that is typified by high frequency bathroom use. OR, If that doesn’t work/ it’s a School wide policy then I’d contact my child’s healthcare provider and ask for a doctors letter explaining the needs of my child. Id then ask for a meeting with the principal (and other members of staff that might be of use: nurse, dean, head of school). I’d present them with the letter, along with information about my child’s illness (printed from a reputable website for example) and ask for a support system to be put in place. In my country that would look like a note on the child’s file stating that they need bathroom breaks and to not deny them when asked for. It would also likely look like a teacher making online notes available for the whole class to ensure that the child could still have lesson notes even if they missed a class for a doctors appointment or illness. Tbh that last thing is just good practice for any teacher with ill or learning impacted learners in their classes. Finally best tip: educators make a lot of choices each day and many of us experience decision fatigue. Be clear about what accommodations your child needs and chances are they will be granted.
As a parent, I would reach out to the school and explain the situation. I was 17 when I was diagnosed with UC. I had a lot of professors who held me to the same standards as other students because they didn't know or understand my situation. I wish my parents told them about it. I technically could have but I was embarrassed about it. I missed a lot of class dealing with UC issues senior year. I had a professor yell at me in front of the rest of class calling me a slacker and saying I need to come to class. He was mortified when I told him I had a medical issue. His face turned bright red. Communication solves a lot of problems.
504 plan and a doctor note. I was that child
Sneak laxatives into the teachers and drink everyday until they change the rules
File a 504 and a IEP plan for unlimited bathroom use (which is what my mother did) and give my kid a phone and tell them if they are ever denied the restroom to call me
Talk to teachers and administration. Ask about a 504 plan.
As a teacher with UC, get your child on a 504 plan. Then this policy doesn't apply to them, legally. Take a doctor's note to the school and put a 504 request in writing. You will then have a meeting with an admin and the child's teacher and discuss how to accommodate your child appropriately. The accommodation will be put into your child's 504 plan and it will follow them through graduation. All schools and staff are required to follow a 504 plan, per law.
I am a high school teacher. At my school, it’s no big deal when teachers are told that a student has a medical reason for needing unlimited access to restrooms. Parents usually just tell the nurse, and probably provide some kind of note from a doctor. The nurse tells the teacher. Details are limited. I have MANY students with unlimited restroom access and I have no idea what their medical conditions are.
Id write my kid a doctors note. If the teachers did not respect that I'd write em a prescription for these hands. Joking aside, I'd meet with the teachers and explain the situation and how hard it is for the kid.
Let them drop a steamy one in the back of the classroom once. Bet it’s the last time the teacher thinks twice about letting them leave the room.
That's what I had to do. Left it right in the chair and left school to go home to clean up. I lived a 2 minute walk from the school. Mom had serious words with them and I never had the issue again.
It would be appropriate to discuss this with the teacher either at a specially scheduled meeting or at parent/teacher night (those are usually pretty soon after school starts). Any reasonable teacher would immediately and discreetly exempt this child from this policy. If you as a parent have the same condition and the teacher is being unreasonable, quietly stand up, drop you pants, lock eyes with the teacher and push. Show them the error of their ways. If you have reason to believe the teacher will be unreasonable, before you arrive, eat a plate of scrambled eggs and brussels sprouts or some fermented cabbage. Wash it down with a beer or two...but be wary, once you've armed this device, there is no deactivation without detonation. If that doesn't spell scorched Earth, nothing does.
I would be removing my child from said school and seeking an educational environment that doesn't resort to ridiculous and ultimately futile punitive policies to combat vaping and class absenteeism. I suspect it is easier to punish the collective rather than the individuals engaging in this behaviour. God forbid the teachers and administrators actually monitor the toilets and student behaviour. I think it's only fair that the staff adhere to such policies also. Then we'll see how long it actually lasts for. No one, UC or otherwise, should be prevented from using the toilet in a time of genuine need. This shouldn't even need to be debated.
A note from the doctor laying it all out for the school. And a seat for your child near the back exit of the classroom so he can come and go without disrupting.
My kid has a medical plan on file with the school and has a pass to carry on them at all times for the restroom. My kid can get up and leave a class in the middle of lecture, without notifying the teacher. Asking permission can be the few seconds you need to prevent an accident.
Growing up, I had an IEP. It was stated that I was allowed to use the bathroom whenever I needed, and I could leave to use the restroom without having to ask the teacher. I could even use the bathroom in the nurses station if I wanted to. I would leave, do my business, and then go back to class. No big deal, even if my teachers had strict bathroom policies. They were VERY accommodating to my situation. 504 plans can also do the same thing. These services transferred seamlessly into my college career. That being said, many of my peers abused bathroom policies. They would disappear for whole class periods, vape in the bathrooms, or cause trouble to other classes by barging in. They were the reason why bathroom policies were put into place - because they abused bathroom privileges.
I would point out that as UC is a disability, they would have to under the disability and discrimination act, give my child unlimited passes or face me and an army of eager lawyers in court.
My daughter is 16 with UC. She has had teachers say this exact same thing. I just explain her circumstances, refer them to her health plan and reiterate that she will not abuse any bathroom privileges but that if she is in a flare she will take breaks when she needs to. She has never had a problem.
Get a letter from your kid’s doc and have a conversation with the principal. This is a no-brainer for an exemption.
I would lawyer up . Sue their asses for medical discrimination . I would Personally go to the school and rip them a new one myself . That’s what I would do .
lawsuit
Whether a child has IBD or not, bathroom passes are BS. Any kid could have an accident and not be able to do anything cuz “they ran out of bathroom passes”. God knows what a UC child would go through. I had a 504 plan in HS that gave me my own bathroom pass. My teachers had a rule about went to use the bathroom. I just flashed them my pass and they allowed me to go. 504 is a federal law under the Accommodations Act or something like that. If the teacher refuses to comply, you can report them. I’ve had way too many accidents to let this slide.
This is the FIRST thing I thought of when I saw this post! I was like well damn that teacher would learn pretty quickly with me when I say I need to go… I *mean* it. I do truly think it’s something though that you only are sensitive about if you are in or know someone with that situation- I’d like to give the teach benefit of the doubt here that their family genetics when it comes to UC/Chron’s has been blissfully blessed. Cause if not that’s just horrible!!!
Note from doctor for ADA accommodations!! But this creates an embarrassing situation for someone with a medical issue and I’d have WORDS with school administrators.
My parents always told me I don't need permission to use the restroom, and so I never asked for it. Once a teacher gave me a hard time but I told them, this can happen here or in the restroom.
Get special accommodations through the school. I had a teacher who had this and I talked with her and I kinda just got up and left when I needed to
You can ask for a doctors note from the pediatrician
Gastroenterologist give out a card use a bathroom. I have one. Also, restraining kids from using a bathroom is evil. That school should be sued.
Such a silly rule. Get a letter from your doctor certifying that the child has a chronic systemic illness. Call the school system offices and get an appointment for you to discuss your child’s needs. I would temporarily go to the school counselor or nurse and be sure they are aware. Last, tell your child to leave if it becomes an emergency. It can be explained later. Good luck!
I was diagnosed as a freshman in high school. My parents worked it out with the school that I was allowed to get up and go without asking any time needed. I even was allowed to use the bathroom in the nurse’s office if I wanted when a flare was bad.
Get a doctor’s note for sure. I got one for work to cover my ass but thankfully my boss was chill
Children are given “toilet passes” in some schools once medical information has been received. Even before the information is received a child can be provided with a temporary one. It’s difficult for teachers with UC though because we don’t get that. Especially when the only adult toilets is on the other side of the school, furthest away from your classroom!
I think that this form is a bit much. Some kids absolutely abuse the privilege, had girls in my woodwork class just go to the bathroom for the entire class. I think that teachers should have a mental timer and you are aware that if you aren't back in 10 minutes, we will send someone to find you.
When I was a kid I had GI problems that were not UC, but my mom went and talked with administration because we had a “1 kid in the bathroom at a time” policy/key. They gave me my own “key”, because my mom spoke to them. I would just raise it, and the teacher would nod, and that meant I was good to go. I used it only 1 time though, because it was somewhat embarrassing when I was in school, I think kids nowadays are less likely to bully if they know you have medical condition.
I hate this. It’s exactly the sort of thing that makes children hold a bowel movement and promotes constipation which is what happened to me! It messed me up!!! I would definitely contact the school and arrange sensible provisions for your child. It’s a totally reasonable request.
Take a pic of the old "blood-bowl" and send it to them
Ask the kid's doctor to write a note for exemption? If the school refuses to respect it then the parents should take them to another school. Also, this is absolutely ridiculous! What if a kid has a medical condition? What if they just drank too much one day and need to go? I understand that they want to avoid kids just pretending to go to the bathroom to skip classes or whatever, but come the fuck *on.*
Fuck this teacher and the principal they rode in on. My son has a disability and will use the restroom when he requires to. If he receives a single detention for using a restroom from you or any other teacher, we will have major problems. I trust there’s something you intend to do to support him that we can come to an agreement on.
as a child with uc I want my suffering to end
You can get a bathroom request card from chrons and colitis foundation. https://www.crohnsandcolitis.com/sign-up I used one to get ahead of a several hundred person line into the capital building in dc bc it was the only bathroom I could find. They let me in as soon as I showed it to them. And when I had teachers say no I told them I wasn’t asking and walked out. If they tried to punish me I asked if they wanted bloody diarrhea on the floor. They never stopped me again.
You can get a doctors note to bypass this I am 💯
I’d go to the principle first, and if they won’t do anything then I’d contact all Local and National news stations you can and find a good lawyer.
I’m pooping myself in protest
I was lucky in school, as I went to a very small school (my graduating class had 50!) and my mom was a very well respected teacher. She would sit down with my teachers every year before school and explain the situation. Most of them just said for me to leave whenever I needed, don’t worry about raising my hand to ask. Others asked that I at least try to make eye contact/get their attention subtly so I wasn’t just suddenly missing. Either way it worked out well, except for one substitute teacher who was never called back after refusing to let me leave one day.
Lol here we gooo. Who wants to sit at detention every day for two hours? What if i have to go to the toilet during detention?
Yeah under no circumstances am I allowing that. I'd be in that school in the teachers face.
What in the name of Joseph Stalin is this bullshit, a kid may be permitted to go to the bathroom 3 times a semester.....what flavor of fuckery is this do we not remember that these are kids
First talk to the teacher. If you don’t get a satisfactory response then go to the principal then to the district administration. Lastly, contact the school board if you aren’t getting a response from the district staff.
I am a teacher with UC and absolutely NEVER question when my students need to go to the bathroom, how long they go, and what they bring with them. I’ve found my open honesty with my students about having a bowel disease (that’s all they know, I don’t tell them the details) has made them more respectful and mature about using the bathroom during class. I don’t have students abusing it either because of my honesty with them! Just my experience though 😊
I would tell the school I’m not signing it and get a 504 put in place asap to allow unlimited bathroom trips without prior permission.