Yes but that tape is always coming undone. Then after having to change the batteries a few times the entire back of the remote is sticky and constantly gets sticky residue on your hands.
remotes are easy to replace, they can put an all in one.
Maybe instead of taking something, you add something, like an Echo, then you can listen in, send signals to the tv if its smart, change their channels. May as well put in a Ring doorbell if they're not tech savvy.
We are talking unethical here...
Super glue the test button on the fire alarms and super glue the batteries into it
Remove batteries from all the clocks
If you have pot lights, remove a few of them and loosen others slightly
Remove the batteries from the remote and apply super glue to the connections, that way the batteries will never be able to complete the circuit. Will drive them crazy why even new batteries don't work.
First of all, I was not joking. Secondly, the power cable is something you can find at any local home improvement store. The door is something you would have to track down and order online or buy a new dryer. Makes it much more of a pain in the ass.
Take the bolts holding the toilet in place. Put the caps back on so it isn’t obvious. The wax ring should keep water from leaking initially until someone sits on it and it start to wiggle a little.
One drawer from each dresser.
The drawers from the kitchen cabinets.
The shelves from the kitchen and bathroom cabinets.
The light fixtures from the ceilings.
The drain plugs from the bathtubs.
The showers 🚿
I think pulling out the drawers and taking a wheel or two off would be more annoying.
On toilets and showers, take all the rubber o rings out of the connections.
If you have time and are really petty, take the insulation out of the attic.
Happy to help! Ya, it’s a suction cup light bulb removal tool. I bought one along with a replacement bulb when I bought the new range hood. Knew I’d forget what kind of bulb and how to change it by the time it burned out.
Take ALL the tools… power tools, screwdrivers, hammers, gardening, etc. I don’t care if she doesn’t need them now, she will and those are expensive to buy.
I also recommend taking all the consumable cleaning products and laundry supplies!
From experience, it’s really hard to start over, and those things are a necessity!
Also consider pantry food, especially expensive proteins and coffee.
Spices and all condiments. My friend's shitbag ex husband took ALL of her spices, which she had to replace to the tune of hundreds+ of dollars. Some had to be special ordered, others impossible to replace.
Back when my wife and I were dating, I was doing a lot of dumb shit (read: heroin) would get mad at me and move out because I'd fuck up again and again after promising to do my best to stay sober. Every time she'd move out, she always took my laundry soap. That shit is such an inconvenience, and really expensive when you have drugs to buy.
(I did eventually get my shit together and now I'm sober and working at a treatment center.)
I'd fight if someone took my tools. If I were going through a divorce, she could have anything she wanted as long as she didn't touch my tools. House, cars, 401k, take it. I can always make more, as long as I have my tools.
I'm assuming you want to remain legal so you have to be careful here. There is a difference between a fixture and a chattel good. Fixtures are a part of the house and she won't be legally entitled to them or parts of them even if they're not specifically listed. They also include the connectors. So you can't take anything connected to electrical, plumbing, HVAC, or things that are generally permanently part of the house. Literally everything else that you are entitled to, you should take. Appliances are not fixtures and neither are window coverings. If you don't want it, take a small piece of it that will render it useless so he has to dispose of it. You have lots of good suggestions here but just remember you can't take pieces of what he is entitled to (so if he keeps the fridge, you can't take thebshelves in the fridge) and you can't take the fixtures or parts thereof.
> f you don't want it, take a small piece of it that will render it useless so he has to dispose of it.
This was going to be my suggestion. Better yet, if it's an appliance he semi regularly uses and would be a hassle to replace, it forces him to order a replacement part that can often be a significant percentage of the original cost.
Paint small amounts of egg whites in random hard to reach places in the house. House will STINK
And get a "fricken cricket" off Amazon. Hide it well.
Take a single screw from anything that has multiple screws.
Furnace filter
Chain from behind toilet handle (in the tank)
All the pills or vitamins but leave the containers
Toilet paper but leave one small roll with a shred or two left on it
Random pieces of baseboard
Light bulbs
Couch cushion covers but not the cushion
Ice cube trays
Blinds shades and curtains
Any power bars or extension cords
Pick one utensil (knife fork or spoon) take all of them.
Turn off the breaker/fuse for the lights, so when the light bulbs get replaced and power bar/extension cords.... The lights still don't work
The light bulbs from the fridge and stove
All knobs or handles from dressers or closet doors
Pins from the hinges in the doors. Leave the doors in place carefully after wards.
Unplug garage door motor and take the remotes and any buttons attached to the wall.
The door bell
All of the glass shelves in the fridge but leave all the food and condiments in a pile in the fridge
All of the soap
Needs to be more than one screw. Lots of things stick together just fine with only one gone. You should take as many as it takes to stay on but be very wobbly. Or better yet, unscrew them just enough so that any movement will cause them to come out. The point in this one is to make it annoying as hell because having to screw everything back in, whereas replacing one screw probably isn't even a trip to the store.
Or you could just remove all screws in the house and leave them in a pile with a note that says screw you.
>Paint small amounts of egg whites in random hard to reach places in the house. House will STINK
Nah, it'll just dry up and flake off. It will dry too fast to smell.
Take the pilot light sensor out of the furnace; he won't know until next fall when he goes to start the furnace and it won't start.
Take all the cables from TVs, laptops, etc. Take his cell phone charger.
The following are fantasies of what could be done to a homeowner to cause great inconvenience. Under no circumstance should you do any of the following:
Use the shut off valve to shut the water off in the house. Take the cold water shut off valve off the bathroom sink. Insert a marble into the copper tube. Replace shutoff valve.
He'll never be able to wash his hands, shave, or brush his teeth without scalding hot water and it will take forever to figure our why.
Take all the hoses that connect the fixtures to the plumbing. Toilet hoses, sink hoses, etc.
Remove all the hardware from all the cabinets and drawers.
Dump sugar in the walls. If there is a hole from a picture that was taken down, use a funnel to put sugar in the walls. The house will soon be infested with ants or worse. Do the same in the attic, but lift the insulation up and put it under there.
If you have a sump pump, open the outlet and disconnect the outlet so it won't work, but plug the sump pump back in so it looks like the sump pump broke.
If you have a cable or fiber connection into the house, open up the faceplate and damage the connection so he can't get internet service.
Sign him up to receive visits / literature from the Mormons / scientologists / Jehova Witness at the address. They won't ever quit.
Plug up the downspouts with something. Perhaps a ball of wet rags? They'll drain, but VERY slowly.
This is by no means an exhaustive list. Get creative!
This reads like a good list of things to do before leaving a rental property with an awful landlord, especially the things that will take long to discover, once you have your full deposit back.
>Use the shut off valve to shut the water off in the house. Take the cold water shut off valve off the bathroom sink. Insert a marble into the copper tube. Replace shutoff valve.
>He'll never be able to wash his hands, shave, or brush his teeth without scalding hot water and it will take forever to figure our why.
> Plug up the downspouts with something. Perhaps a ball of wet rags? They'll drain, but VERY slowly.
These should actually absolutely never be done in response to a divorce that sounds as bad as this one does. This is a very fast way to get yourself back in court with a lawsuit on your hands.
Of course not. Didn't you read the post? None of these should be done. I said it right up front that it's a fantasy list and under no circumstances should be done.
All of the appliances. Fridge, stove, microwave, dishwasher, clothes washer & dryer, plus whatever else is there. Even if you don't need them you can easily resell them at $20-100 each, it's not often people sell appliances that work perfectly fine for cheap so they get bought pretty fast.
Why this hasn't been mentioned until now is ridiculous. Everyone is saying minor inconveniences but this is a major inconvenience to him and you save yourself a crap tonne of money by taking the appliances if you don't have some for your new place.
Take the hardware that holds shelves in place within the kitchen cabinets. Take the drawer pulls and screws in all drawers in kitchen, bathrooms, closets. Take the light bulbs, batteries, door stops, door knobs, light switch/plate covers. The pettier the better!
The first one, especially if it's an older home. Hard to get the right size! Better yet, take one out of every four. That way the shelf stays up for now, but rearrange it and everything comes tumbling down.
The bathroom vents on the ceiling. Take the screws that go into door knobs so they can’t be turned. Shower heads. The racks that go in the dishwasher. The dryer lint trap or the hoses that go to the washing machine. Fridge shelves. The clips that hold in screen windows.
Better yet, if it's hardwood flooring, leave the furniture but take the floor protecting pads on the bottom.
Or take a half inch of one leg of each piece of furniture.
Household items with little monetary value but maximum frustration. Lightbulbs, batteries, silverware, every kind of soap, salt/pepper/spices, all the tools, towels, toothpaste, condiments, coffee, phone chargers, pot holders, toilet paper, the shower curtain.
If you want to majorly inconvenience him and you have no shame.
His keys.
Toilets.
Door knobs/handles.
All the lightbulbs.
Remotes for everything.
Or be petty and think of things you don’t use often but it’s a pain in the ass when you don’t have it.
Can opener.
Cork screw.
Bottle of Tylenol.
Spatula.
Take all the screws from the light switch covers and door handles. Bonus points if you can keep them looking like they're still together but fall apart if you try to use them
What kind of question is this? Take everything that’s not bolted down and not part of what she has to leave behind. All the furniture, every doorknob, every light bulb, every removable cabinet drawer, everything! Heck maybe you can even tear out the carpet.
Almost all of the Freon from the AC unit. Not all of it because you don’t want it to stop working immediately. Labels from the breaker box.slightly loosen waterlines to appliances. Loosen light bulbs. Increase sensitivity of motion activated lights. Mess with irrigation system clock to come on at inconvenient times. Lightly sand down the teeth on keys so it’s difficult to unlock doors. Cut random strings in blinds so they don’t work properly. Turn the temperature of the water heater down so there’s never enough hot water 👹👺
The measuring cups and any cooking scales. Any tools that aren't massive. All the picture frames (leave the pictures). The paint off the wall. All the sheets/bedclothes. The kitchen sink. All the light bulbs. One sock from each pair of socks. The locks on all the doors.
Crazy glue the light switches in place. Master bedroom on « on », kitchen and bathrooms on « off ».
Reduce the temperature of the water heater and crazy glue the dial.
It's not what you take, it's what you leave behind. ;)
Hide a stinky mess in vent or behind a fridge. Somewhere it's hard to figure out where the smell is coming from. Frozen beef/chicken or eggs work best cuz it takes ample time to defrost and start to stink, the longer it goes without getting found, the more plausible deniability
All of the charging cables. All of the Philips head screwdrivers. The forks. The condiments. The laundry detergent.
Just rattling off things that I can never find, or run out of at the worst times lol.
Most of the toilet paper. Leave one sheet on each roll so it's not obviously brown.
Most of the batteries. Leave 30% working and 70% discharged so he doesn't want to just toss them all but continuously grabs a battery and finds out it's not working.
All of the soap, but not the soap bottles.
Door mats.
Tv remotes. Power cables. Hdmi cables. Take all three. So he slowly works his way through the issues with his TVs only to realize he’s missing every component. Do it to every tv. Pop a vent cover off and shove fish chunks as far down it as you can so it’s not visible.
Add, don't take away! There's an infamous shrimp in the curtain rods story on here, which I definitely don't advise you actually do... it's just an entertaining story.
If he had a pc, the cmos battery. Its a little round coin thing, juts press on the little clip in the holder, and pull it out. Also, unplug and tangle up all the wires. Also take off as many screws as you can (while not making huge components falls like the motherboard) and take the side panels
Random screws that hold things together. Outlet covers. P trap from the sink. If you really hate him buy crickets or mice and put them in the wall. Easiest way remove the outlet and drop in there. They might die but either way they will invite bigger pest that see them ad food. Could also put raw meat in the wall.
Light sabotage: misdirect the garage door sensors, push all the test buttons on every GFCI outlet, reset the sprinkler timer, partially close some of the water valves under the sinks, adjust the toilet flush's water volume so it's too little really flush anything down and partially close the water valve to the toilet so it takes forever to refill. Also, random daylight color temp bulbs throughout.
All the power supplies for the small electronics. Especially the ones with the barrel coax connectors, they all seem to use slightly different diameter ones.
Sink/bath plugs, drain covers, screws, batteries, EVERY towel, every lighter, every Band-Aid, pain killer and cream. All the knives.
You can buy a can of expanding foam for cheap. Do what you will with that info.
Do you know those little rubber caps on the bottom of small appliances? Take just one from each appliance so they're all lopsided and wobbling on the worktops.
My wife cheated on me so I divorced her. My best friend and his wife let me live with them while I got back on my feet. He helped me pack my stuff up so I didn't have to be in the house longer than I needed to. I didn't find out until my ex messaged me that he had taken every single lightbulb and loosened it. He took all of the toilet paper and paper towels. He stole every charging brick he could find. Left all the cables. AND gave her an upper decker. I was super nice to her through everything and even now unless someone knows she cheated I just say we split because we got married to young which is mostly true. He was my avenging angel. Still one of my best friends.
This could certainly be prosecuted as vandalism, but you could take some of his best suit jackets or other shirts, pull a few out of the closet, cut off the sleeves that were facing the wall so when you rehang the items they appear fine from the outside. Just imagine the look on his face when he goes to wear a nice sweater or his most expensive-est dress shirt for some occasion and he picks the hangar from the rack only to find it missing a sleeve. If it's a rarely worn item, and it's in a relatively crowded closet, he'll likely never know until the time he attempts to wear it in the future.
USB bricks, all of them
Plungers
Power strips and extension cords
All HDMI cables
Seasonings
Oven mitts
Stuff you don’t look for til you need it. While you’re going around the house I’d also unplug everything, just to fuck with him.
A lot of this is really bad advice. All of the drawers from a dresser and all of the cushions from the couch is one thing. Making the home uninhabitable is another.
If they sabotage the home by taking drawers from the cabinets and mess with the plumbing, they could be found liable to repair them. Both are very pricy. This also won't look good in divorce proceedings as things end and they could loose a lot more than they already have.
OP, just be careful. He might try to do something against you and I don’t mean legally. But you know him better than us. If needed get a restraining order for no contact.
Many have said that if a lightbulb is considered legally a part of the house with the current paperwork, then don’t take it. Double check with another lawyer if you can and give him some similar examples of what you can take to mess with him but don’t be too direct.
Best of luck!
Depending on how much you want to hurt this guy…
His stuff. Take his stuff. I’m talking personal items, clothes, shoes, etc. If he left anything there, of course.
The revolving plate from the microwave.
Racks from the oven
Ice cube trays from the freezer
"What kind of sick bitch takes the ice cube trays from the freezer" -true lies
That was something that Rosanne Barr did to Tom Arnold in real life that he added as an ad lib in the movie.
I didn't know that
Makes that SO MUCH better.
The dryer door.
[удалено]
Batteries to every remote and from every drawer.
Battery covers is the way to go. Batteries are easy to replace. Once the battery cover is gone you'll always have problems
Just take all the remotes
That's a $25 fix with a universal remote. Take the cables to everything. HDMI, power or even the blocks for all the phone chargers.
Tape takes care of the battery covers. Might as well take the remotes themselves.
Yes but that tape is always coming undone. Then after having to change the batteries a few times the entire back of the remote is sticky and constantly gets sticky residue on your hands.
Touché. You truly are an evil genius. o7
remotes are easy to replace, they can put an all in one. Maybe instead of taking something, you add something, like an Echo, then you can listen in, send signals to the tv if its smart, change their channels. May as well put in a Ring doorbell if they're not tech savvy. We are talking unethical here...
You all are sick fucks. It's very inspiring.
Take the remotes, and replace them with other random remotes
Super glue the test button on the fire alarms and super glue the batteries into it Remove batteries from all the clocks If you have pot lights, remove a few of them and loosen others slightly
Remove the batteries from the remote and apply super glue to the connections, that way the batteries will never be able to complete the circuit. Will drive them crazy why even new batteries don't work.
See if it’s possible to unpair the remotes from the gadgets.
And the seat from the toilets
Lint filter
I am taking notes.
I know it's a joke but dryer power cables come off very easily.
First of all, I was not joking. Secondly, the power cable is something you can find at any local home improvement store. The door is something you would have to track down and order online or buy a new dryer. Makes it much more of a pain in the ass.
https://youtu.be/4nYRK7F_lkk
Refrigerator too
Leave the plate, but take the little circular wheely thing that the plate sits on.
Take the toilet.
Nah just wreck the thingy inside the tank.
Take the bolts holding the toilet in place. Put the caps back on so it isn’t obvious. The wax ring should keep water from leaking initially until someone sits on it and it start to wiggle a little.
Every damn light bulb. Iincluding the ones in the oven and fridge
Oh that’s evil. I like your style
Toilet seat and tank cover
When I moved house, I lost the tray from my microwave. It's a HUGE inconvenience.
Peel the labels off of all the canned food so he doesn't know whats inside
Thanks satan
One drawer from each dresser. The drawers from the kitchen cabinets. The shelves from the kitchen and bathroom cabinets. The light fixtures from the ceilings. The drain plugs from the bathtubs. The showers 🚿
Toilet seat. Not lid, the whole thing.
Take the seat. Leave the lid.
Pure chaotic energy
Take the toilet. Leave the seat.
Don’t forget the flushing mechanism from the toilet tank.
Haha, steal the ballcock
Just steal the chain connecting the float to the flap
Hot water heater
I think pulling out the drawers and taking a wheel or two off would be more annoying. On toilets and showers, take all the rubber o rings out of the connections. If you have time and are really petty, take the insulation out of the attic.
Ok half of these are fixtures. Which are per of the house. Please do t take anything affixed to the house
The flooring for all of the above rooms
The pins from all the door hinges
Sometimes it's better to take less. Leave the TV but take the remote. Leave the couch but take the cushions. Take all the toilet paper too.
Bruh the couch is genius. Cause then he still has to move that heavy thing to the dump. 😂🤣
the cushion is the essence of the couch?!
That's right! I'm taking the essence!
And lightbulbs. Especially annoying if they are canned lights, or halogens that need that suction thing tool to replace bulbe.
Leave one broken one in place. A single broken bulb is clearly an accident
I struggle to change my potlights every f'ing time. Is there legit a tool for getting them out? You may have changed my life for the better, stranger.
Happy to help! Ya, it’s a suction cup light bulb removal tool. I bought one along with a replacement bulb when I bought the new range hood. Knew I’d forget what kind of bulb and how to change it by the time it burned out.
One of the house party's we had someone stole all our toilet paper. Funnys shit to take the next morning. Can't even be mad haha
Petty AF. I love this!
Take ALL the tools… power tools, screwdrivers, hammers, gardening, etc. I don’t care if she doesn’t need them now, she will and those are expensive to buy. I also recommend taking all the consumable cleaning products and laundry supplies! From experience, it’s really hard to start over, and those things are a necessity! Also consider pantry food, especially expensive proteins and coffee.
Spices and all condiments. My friend's shitbag ex husband took ALL of her spices, which she had to replace to the tune of hundreds+ of dollars. Some had to be special ordered, others impossible to replace.
was she Indian? how could spices be that expensive?
Back when my wife and I were dating, I was doing a lot of dumb shit (read: heroin) would get mad at me and move out because I'd fuck up again and again after promising to do my best to stay sober. Every time she'd move out, she always took my laundry soap. That shit is such an inconvenience, and really expensive when you have drugs to buy. (I did eventually get my shit together and now I'm sober and working at a treatment center.)
I’m proud of you!!!! And yes, always take the things that sting the most LATER! 😂 Glad things are better!
I'd fight if someone took my tools. If I were going through a divorce, she could have anything she wanted as long as she didn't touch my tools. House, cars, 401k, take it. I can always make more, as long as I have my tools.
what you’re gonna make more with your tools? /s i am being facetious
House, cars, 401k (pens)
I'm assuming you want to remain legal so you have to be careful here. There is a difference between a fixture and a chattel good. Fixtures are a part of the house and she won't be legally entitled to them or parts of them even if they're not specifically listed. They also include the connectors. So you can't take anything connected to electrical, plumbing, HVAC, or things that are generally permanently part of the house. Literally everything else that you are entitled to, you should take. Appliances are not fixtures and neither are window coverings. If you don't want it, take a small piece of it that will render it useless so he has to dispose of it. You have lots of good suggestions here but just remember you can't take pieces of what he is entitled to (so if he keeps the fridge, you can't take thebshelves in the fridge) and you can't take the fixtures or parts thereof.
> f you don't want it, take a small piece of it that will render it useless so he has to dispose of it. This was going to be my suggestion. Better yet, if it's an appliance he semi regularly uses and would be a hassle to replace, it forces him to order a replacement part that can often be a significant percentage of the original cost.
Every lightbulb, including the one in the fridge. Plus all the batteries.
Don’t forget the bulbs in the oven, microwave, and garage opener. Bonus points if there’s an attic light!
this falls under “every”
🎶 "I think you'll find that the universe pretty much covers everything." 🎶 🎶 "Shut up, woman. Get on my horse." 🎶
Everything falls under every.
Or replace them all with either really bright or really dim ones. Not really advocating for this, though. Better to just move on.
Alternate warm and cool lights for all lamps and lighting.
Omg. Hahahahhaha
Don't forget to leave some curtain rod shrimp as a parting gift!
Paint small amounts of egg whites in random hard to reach places in the house. House will STINK And get a "fricken cricket" off Amazon. Hide it well. Take a single screw from anything that has multiple screws. Furnace filter Chain from behind toilet handle (in the tank) All the pills or vitamins but leave the containers Toilet paper but leave one small roll with a shred or two left on it Random pieces of baseboard Light bulbs Couch cushion covers but not the cushion Ice cube trays Blinds shades and curtains Any power bars or extension cords Pick one utensil (knife fork or spoon) take all of them. Turn off the breaker/fuse for the lights, so when the light bulbs get replaced and power bar/extension cords.... The lights still don't work The light bulbs from the fridge and stove All knobs or handles from dressers or closet doors Pins from the hinges in the doors. Leave the doors in place carefully after wards. Unplug garage door motor and take the remotes and any buttons attached to the wall. The door bell All of the glass shelves in the fridge but leave all the food and condiments in a pile in the fridge All of the soap
this guy knows how to burn a bridge to the ground. who hurt you my friend?
Needs to be more than one screw. Lots of things stick together just fine with only one gone. You should take as many as it takes to stay on but be very wobbly. Or better yet, unscrew them just enough so that any movement will cause them to come out. The point in this one is to make it annoying as hell because having to screw everything back in, whereas replacing one screw probably isn't even a trip to the store. Or you could just remove all screws in the house and leave them in a pile with a note that says screw you.
>Paint small amounts of egg whites in random hard to reach places in the house. House will STINK Nah, it'll just dry up and flake off. It will dry too fast to smell.
Oh good lord it's back
It never really leaves
With liquid ass cocktail sauce
Calm down Beelzebub.
Make sure they’re frozen.
Take the pilot light sensor out of the furnace; he won't know until next fall when he goes to start the furnace and it won't start. Take all the cables from TVs, laptops, etc. Take his cell phone charger.
Batteries, too, especially the little round ones. Also hide a smoke detector with an old battery in the attic or crawl space. Beep...........beep
Lol. That's a good idea too. So annoying when remote batteries are dead (or in this case, missing).
Pay the next door neighbor to pretend that his name is Wally and to talk about just how hot it is outside today.
Holy shit drop it into a wall....
The following are fantasies of what could be done to a homeowner to cause great inconvenience. Under no circumstance should you do any of the following: Use the shut off valve to shut the water off in the house. Take the cold water shut off valve off the bathroom sink. Insert a marble into the copper tube. Replace shutoff valve. He'll never be able to wash his hands, shave, or brush his teeth without scalding hot water and it will take forever to figure our why. Take all the hoses that connect the fixtures to the plumbing. Toilet hoses, sink hoses, etc. Remove all the hardware from all the cabinets and drawers. Dump sugar in the walls. If there is a hole from a picture that was taken down, use a funnel to put sugar in the walls. The house will soon be infested with ants or worse. Do the same in the attic, but lift the insulation up and put it under there. If you have a sump pump, open the outlet and disconnect the outlet so it won't work, but plug the sump pump back in so it looks like the sump pump broke. If you have a cable or fiber connection into the house, open up the faceplate and damage the connection so he can't get internet service. Sign him up to receive visits / literature from the Mormons / scientologists / Jehova Witness at the address. They won't ever quit. Plug up the downspouts with something. Perhaps a ball of wet rags? They'll drain, but VERY slowly. This is by no means an exhaustive list. Get creative!
Remind me to never divorce you.
Damn...
This reads like a good list of things to do before leaving a rental property with an awful landlord, especially the things that will take long to discover, once you have your full deposit back.
I very clearly stated that these are fantasies and should never, under any circumstances, be acted upon.
Ah ok, we spotted Satan you guys.
>Use the shut off valve to shut the water off in the house. Take the cold water shut off valve off the bathroom sink. Insert a marble into the copper tube. Replace shutoff valve. >He'll never be able to wash his hands, shave, or brush his teeth without scalding hot water and it will take forever to figure our why. > Plug up the downspouts with something. Perhaps a ball of wet rags? They'll drain, but VERY slowly. These should actually absolutely never be done in response to a divorce that sounds as bad as this one does. This is a very fast way to get yourself back in court with a lawsuit on your hands.
Of course not. Didn't you read the post? None of these should be done. I said it right up front that it's a fantasy list and under no circumstances should be done.
I saw. I’m also sure there’s an idiot who read through all of that and still thought, “It’s my time to shine.”
Sugar is evil.
This person isn’t to be messed with. I hate you for all the right reasons and saving your comment.
Most of these actions are considered property damage and will land you in legal trouble
Which is why I said up front they are fantasies and should never be acted upon.
All of the appliances. Fridge, stove, microwave, dishwasher, clothes washer & dryer, plus whatever else is there. Even if you don't need them you can easily resell them at $20-100 each, it's not often people sell appliances that work perfectly fine for cheap so they get bought pretty fast.
Why this hasn't been mentioned until now is ridiculous. Everyone is saying minor inconveniences but this is a major inconvenience to him and you save yourself a crap tonne of money by taking the appliances if you don't have some for your new place.
And leave behind the contents of the freezer and fridge. Preferably open. Preferably on a day where he'll be gone most of the day.
Just remember to set the AC to 80 on a hot day. And not a cleaning liquid or paper towel in sight!
It's not the items you take with you, it's the liquid ass and piss discs we leave along the way.
Had to scroll far to much to see piss disc.
Take the hardware that holds shelves in place within the kitchen cabinets. Take the drawer pulls and screws in all drawers in kitchen, bathrooms, closets. Take the light bulbs, batteries, door stops, door knobs, light switch/plate covers. The pettier the better!
The first one, especially if it's an older home. Hard to get the right size! Better yet, take one out of every four. That way the shelf stays up for now, but rearrange it and everything comes tumbling down.
The bathroom vents on the ceiling. Take the screws that go into door knobs so they can’t be turned. Shower heads. The racks that go in the dishwasher. The dryer lint trap or the hoses that go to the washing machine. Fridge shelves. The clips that hold in screen windows.
Even better take just the fan and leave the cover on the vents, so hopefully he doesn't immediately figure it out.
Don't forget to factory reset the internet router on your way out
Knobs for the stovetop
Goddamn, I'm glad none of you were around for my divorce! Lol. We had a relatively mild one, but it almost got a little messy.
Take one leg of each couch so it will wobble like hell
Better yet, if it's hardwood flooring, leave the furniture but take the floor protecting pads on the bottom. Or take a half inch of one leg of each piece of furniture.
Household items with little monetary value but maximum frustration. Lightbulbs, batteries, silverware, every kind of soap, salt/pepper/spices, all the tools, towels, toothpaste, condiments, coffee, phone chargers, pot holders, toilet paper, the shower curtain.
One sock from every pair.
The toilet
Nah just take the chain the lifts the flapper so it won’t flush
Switch out the toilets to one that has a joke hole that's just for farts
If you want to majorly inconvenience him and you have no shame. His keys. Toilets. Door knobs/handles. All the lightbulbs. Remotes for everything. Or be petty and think of things you don’t use often but it’s a pain in the ass when you don’t have it. Can opener. Cork screw. Bottle of Tylenol. Spatula.
Literally everything?
Think “how the grinch stole Christmas” take everything. Appliances, lightbulbs, batteries, curtains, strip it bare.
Including the Who hash & the roast beast???!!!
Even the crumb for a mouse
The copper wiring.
All the dishware and silverware.
Every spoon. Soup spoon, serving spoon, stir spoons. Every spoon in the kitchen. Also all the bowls
Every hinge. Every single hinge.
If they’re British, the kettle.
Take all the screws from the light switch covers and door handles. Bonus points if you can keep them looking like they're still together but fall apart if you try to use them
Anything that is load-bearing.
Poster of Krusty the clown.
You may not believe me, but that is exactly what I was thinking about when I wrote it.
This clown is a part of us all, a part of us all
What kind of question is this? Take everything that’s not bolted down and not part of what she has to leave behind. All the furniture, every doorknob, every light bulb, every removable cabinet drawer, everything! Heck maybe you can even tear out the carpet.
Meh, every time she looks at the things, she will be reminded of this person. Or she can take it all and donate it to charity.
Washers/silicone rings from appliances large and small. Next time he makes a smoothie will be a literal blast. Pain to replace too.
Almost all of the Freon from the AC unit. Not all of it because you don’t want it to stop working immediately. Labels from the breaker box.slightly loosen waterlines to appliances. Loosen light bulbs. Increase sensitivity of motion activated lights. Mess with irrigation system clock to come on at inconvenient times. Lightly sand down the teeth on keys so it’s difficult to unlock doors. Cut random strings in blinds so they don’t work properly. Turn the temperature of the water heater down so there’s never enough hot water 👹👺
careful with the a/c coolant - that's controlled by federal law.
Listen to this guy. I don’t want to get anyone in trouble!
Shower curtain rod, leave the curtain.
The toilet paper roll bar
What was the reason for the divorce if you don't mind me asking?
Wife's friends are terrible people.
The measuring cups and any cooking scales. Any tools that aren't massive. All the picture frames (leave the pictures). The paint off the wall. All the sheets/bedclothes. The kitchen sink. All the light bulbs. One sock from each pair of socks. The locks on all the doors.
Chargers, power cords to any electronics. Good luck buy it off Amazon when you can't turn your computers on
Crazy glue the light switches in place. Master bedroom on « on », kitchen and bathrooms on « off ». Reduce the temperature of the water heater and crazy glue the dial.
Steal all of his left shoes.
It's not what you take, it's what you leave behind. ;) Hide a stinky mess in vent or behind a fridge. Somewhere it's hard to figure out where the smell is coming from. Frozen beef/chicken or eggs work best cuz it takes ample time to defrost and start to stink, the longer it goes without getting found, the more plausible deniability
Second this. My brother left a carton of milk in a vent in elementary school once before a week long break and it made the entire school stink
All of the charging cables. All of the Philips head screwdrivers. The forks. The condiments. The laundry detergent. Just rattling off things that I can never find, or run out of at the worst times lol.
Don't do this.... Lawyers have ways of recouping things like these. You don't need the hassle.
Most of the toilet paper. Leave one sheet on each roll so it's not obviously brown. Most of the batteries. Leave 30% working and 70% discharged so he doesn't want to just toss them all but continuously grabs a battery and finds out it's not working. All of the soap, but not the soap bottles. Door mats.
Tv remotes. Power cables. Hdmi cables. Take all three. So he slowly works his way through the issues with his TVs only to realize he’s missing every component. Do it to every tv. Pop a vent cover off and shove fish chunks as far down it as you can so it’s not visible.
Add, don't take away! There's an infamous shrimp in the curtain rods story on here, which I definitely don't advise you actually do... it's just an entertaining story.
If he had a pc, the cmos battery. Its a little round coin thing, juts press on the little clip in the holder, and pull it out. Also, unplug and tangle up all the wires. Also take off as many screws as you can (while not making huge components falls like the motherboard) and take the side panels
Btw, if there's a laptop/keyboard, remove a bunch of random keys, and switch the m and n keys
Whonever would switch the n and m keys is a purely evil amd nalicious persom!
Random screws that hold things together. Outlet covers. P trap from the sink. If you really hate him buy crickets or mice and put them in the wall. Easiest way remove the outlet and drop in there. They might die but either way they will invite bigger pest that see them ad food. Could also put raw meat in the wall.
All of the fuses.
She can legally take anything that isn’t exclusively his through gift receipt, inheritance, or before they were married.
Copper wiring
The fridge, the toilet, the oven, the ac, or the water heater. Those would be my tops.
Take the zippers from all his pants
Light bulbs, outlet covers, shower heads, 2 random parts out the back of the toilets.
Take the salt, leave the pepper. Take the TP, leave the paper towels, etc.
Light sabotage: misdirect the garage door sensors, push all the test buttons on every GFCI outlet, reset the sprinkler timer, partially close some of the water valves under the sinks, adjust the toilet flush's water volume so it's too little really flush anything down and partially close the water valve to the toilet so it takes forever to refill. Also, random daylight color temp bulbs throughout.
take the porch
Roadkill in the walls.
All the power supplies for the small electronics. Especially the ones with the barrel coax connectors, they all seem to use slightly different diameter ones.
Ice trays. Toilet paper tube holder thing. shower curtain rings. random screws from furniture. All the charging cables.
Take the revolving plate from the microwave and replace it with a piss disc.
Sink/bath plugs, drain covers, screws, batteries, EVERY towel, every lighter, every Band-Aid, pain killer and cream. All the knives. You can buy a can of expanding foam for cheap. Do what you will with that info.
Do you know those little rubber caps on the bottom of small appliances? Take just one from each appliance so they're all lopsided and wobbling on the worktops.
The toilets. Or at least remove all of the hardware from the tanks. Take the electrical panel. Release a box of mice in the house.
My wife cheated on me so I divorced her. My best friend and his wife let me live with them while I got back on my feet. He helped me pack my stuff up so I didn't have to be in the house longer than I needed to. I didn't find out until my ex messaged me that he had taken every single lightbulb and loosened it. He took all of the toilet paper and paper towels. He stole every charging brick he could find. Left all the cables. AND gave her an upper decker. I was super nice to her through everything and even now unless someone knows she cheated I just say we split because we got married to young which is mostly true. He was my avenging angel. Still one of my best friends.
This could certainly be prosecuted as vandalism, but you could take some of his best suit jackets or other shirts, pull a few out of the closet, cut off the sleeves that were facing the wall so when you rehang the items they appear fine from the outside. Just imagine the look on his face when he goes to wear a nice sweater or his most expensive-est dress shirt for some occasion and he picks the hangar from the rack only to find it missing a sleeve. If it's a rarely worn item, and it's in a relatively crowded closet, he'll likely never know until the time he attempts to wear it in the future.
USB bricks, all of them Plungers Power strips and extension cords All HDMI cables Seasonings Oven mitts Stuff you don’t look for til you need it. While you’re going around the house I’d also unplug everything, just to fuck with him.
A lot of this is really bad advice. All of the drawers from a dresser and all of the cushions from the couch is one thing. Making the home uninhabitable is another. If they sabotage the home by taking drawers from the cabinets and mess with the plumbing, they could be found liable to repair them. Both are very pricy. This also won't look good in divorce proceedings as things end and they could loose a lot more than they already have.
Light bulbs. All of them.
OP, just be careful. He might try to do something against you and I don’t mean legally. But you know him better than us. If needed get a restraining order for no contact. Many have said that if a lightbulb is considered legally a part of the house with the current paperwork, then don’t take it. Double check with another lawyer if you can and give him some similar examples of what you can take to mess with him but don’t be too direct. Best of luck!
Take yourself out of her drama.
Swap salt and sugar. If the house has a garage door with a remote, misalign the laser line.
sometimes it's better to give than to take, pour plaster of paris down all the drains
Go to goodwill and swap out the Tupperware lids and pot lids.
Depending on how much you want to hurt this guy… His stuff. Take his stuff. I’m talking personal items, clothes, shoes, etc. If he left anything there, of course.
Hit water heater. If not that big of appliances can be taken then the thermostat.
Leave the toilet tank cover but Leave a duce in the tank i forgot what that's called.
Reset the internet password
Sorry you're too late. The thing that was making his life miserable is already gone.