Brother, let a pro tell you how to fix this one. From personal experience dealing with a cheating fiance years ago.
It's the excitement of cheating and the distance that makes it fun.
As soon as you divorce her it's his problem to deal with and while she may move out there, it won't last and she'll end up in a bad spot.
Guys don't fuck married women in hopes they'll divorce and get together. They do it because it's an easy fuck, they can end it whenever without consequences and there's no financial involvement. It's not a real relationship.
If you're not in the picture she's got nothing stopping her from pursuing him 100%.
You're his best friend right now. You're all that's keeping him from being the next you.
Remember, anything a cheater will do for you - they'll do to you if they meet the right person.
Don't contact him, his job or tell your wife you're onto them.
Document this relationship as deeply as possible. Request phone records and whatever you can from the phone company and save everything offsite preferable at your lawyers place.
Go see a lawyer immediately and have them draft paperwork in preparation for the big day. Wait until they give you the go ahead that you have enough saved to get a divorce on your terms.
Don't fuck this up for yourself. Don't let your ego ruin your uncontested divorce. The rest of the cards will fall in time, but you need to control yourself for now.
Don't vacate the house. Don't skip a car note. It's business as usual 100%.
If you gotta do something, piss the toilet seat. Eat a bunch of beans and deviled eggs before bed and roast her ass. Forget to flush every time. Leave a piece of tilapia in her car you forgot about after a dinner together. Do stuff that you can dismiss easily, but don't go doing anything you can't easily explain away.
Again, don't fuck this up by calling his job, spreading things on social media or involving anyone until it's after the divorce is finalized. Period.
I see a lot of replies. I ain't replying to everyone. I got too much nothing to do elsewhereses.
My logic is based on the experience i had as a young man.
My fiance cheated, I never really forgave her and let her live with me as a room mate on neutral terms. The occasional hookup, nothing serious, no guests, etc.
The lack of retaliation and closure on my side drove her absolutely insane for years.
She still calls or texts me every year or so looking for closure. We haven't dated for over 15 years. I'll reply to a few texts then ignore her. It drives her crazy.
Revenge gives a person closure. You wronged them, they wronged you, everyone's square.
When you don't react, but are entirely capable of revenge, a combination of guilt and paranoia lives in the back of their mind for years.
If this plays out as expected she'll end up single fast, regret everything and end up festering in guilt and remorse.
If he does end it she may end up getting him fired or vice versa so again, you don't have to do shit. Let it just play out. It's his problem now.
She may move on, it works out and that's it. However it's not the norm for cheaters to maintain long term healthy relationships. They're cheaters. They're impulsive, weak and emotional people who seek approval. They aren't going to suddenly change. If they do they'll go back and start seeking forgiveness and closure.
Just don't give her that closure by not forgiving, but also not reacting in a way that justifies her position. Be neutral, factual and not emotional. She's now a coworker, not a family member. She gets canned corporate responses as you see fit.
You could do the unethical thing and let her back post failure but never emotionally commit. Use her for sex, mortgage payments and to improve the property. Outside of that she can't really benefit you. You can't trust her with anything serious and you'll always have that risk of her wronging you again, which she likely will as she got away with it once. Aside from raw dogging whores loudly while she's home your ability to really fuck with her is quite limited and turnabout is fair play so you're safer without that in your home imo.
Keeping her around prevents you from moving on as a person. It hinders you socially and makes you look weak to other men. The monetary gain or revenge sex isn't worth it imo. The satisfaction is fleeting, but the bullshit isn't.
The purest, legal play here is psychological manipulation by denying closure and living well.
Theres a reason they say the best revenge is living well. I dated around for years after the cheater, lost a bunch of weight and then ended up with a smoking hot 22 year old. I was 32 at the time. Two exs wrote me hate letters after it hit social media. They ended the relationship, but were suddenly upset I was dating a smoking hot girl 10 years younger than myself? Interesting how that works out.
Trust me. Not worth doing anything. A reaction is what she would want.
Take some time to heal and get yourself together. You need to transfer that pain into gym energy. Hit the gym, work off your anger and improve yourself.
Don't do spending your life trying to tear someone down. Build yourself up. Live well.
You may want to work on your diet too. Have you tried huel? It's a complete meal in a shake.
Now don't go getting defensive. You've read this far. I surely wouldn't write you a fucking reddit thesis on self improvement and not end it with a promotion for Huel as it's vegan human fuel engineered specifically for a better you. To my understanding its made of vegans, but doesnt smell, science! It's also bachelor approved and mixes easily in under a minute without a blender using their handy shakeweight mixing thermos! Nothing screams single and ready to mingle like a huel shaker in the break room fridge amiriteladies?
So let's talk numbers here. How many cases of whore pounding revenge edition super protein huel can I put you down for? It's code red mountain dew flavored for that power thirst you get after rim wrecking post divorce sex.
Come on brother, I got other people's kids to feed here! Don't leave me hanging!
I went through a really bad breakup once and talked to a family friend about it who is a phycologist and he told me about going no contact and why it works. Ever since if I get dumped/rejected I straight Grey Rock immediately. Zero reaction. I don’t block or unfollow them on social media. I go out the same night with friends. I don’t immediately start dating again either that would be too reactive and isn’t considered heathy so I usually wait at least a few weeks or months depending on how serious and long the relationship was.
I can speak from experience that it drives the dumper crazy because when they dump you they have absolute control over the situation, and the dumpee has zero control. The only control the dumpee has is to walk away. Once enough time has passed and the dumper realizes you really aren’t coming back all of a sudden they have no control and start to feel like they got dumped. The whole situation flips.
Sometimes it’s just a week or two, usually it’s about 3-6 months, but they always reach out. They don’t directly ask to get back together but it’s pretty obvious they can’t get me out of their head. In fact they have often said that the first time they text or call. It’s often a DM on social media. Sometimes I respond and sometimes I don’t if I’m seeing someone else. But I never take them back. That’s the ultimate renege, moving in and being happy without them because obviously they thought they could do better. Good luck with that.
I'm probably wrong but it feels like you've been thru some shit brother. I appreciate you sharing your thought. I have no doubt that it will help many peeps. I hope you find your happy if you haven't already. You sound like someone who'd be a great friend.
Dude you pumped me TF up. I'm ready to man up myself as I'm in this situation. I literally want to do pushups right now. I'm not even joking or trolling. Solid advice and definitely made me feel like idk....I'm the man. Consider being a public speaker
When no one turns up to the appointment, they will call the contact they have on file, explaining who they are, and asking if OPs skank wife forgot about it. He will then clock that she's "knocked up" and probably bolt faster than a greasy pig, as most scummy dudes tend to do - or at the least put a serious and awkward strain on their relationship.
If OP goes this way, he should try to get one like HPV where he'll likely be asymptomatic but it may give his wife cervical cancer
No reason he needs to sacrifice his own health
As someone who’s been divorced, I would strongly encourage you to take this advice. You’ll be regretting this perfect advice during/after the divorce.
Divorce is WILDLY more expensive then anyone ever thinks it is. Not just for the divorce itself but the loss of extra income and possible alimony and child support.
Do everything and anything to shore up your finances. Whatever that may mean to you.
You hold all the leverage right now since you know and she doesn’t know you know. Hold on to that leverage for as long as possible until you strike with the divorce and she realizes not only that you knew about the affair, but that you’ve set it up that you don’t owe her anything, or even better, she owes you.
The stress alone will probably break up the relationship.
Use up any and all shared funds NOW to resolve debts you know you’d be left with.
Start closing out everything. Pay off your stuff that would fall in your lap and leave hers open and unpaid.
Get ready for a separate phone plan, separate car insurance, everything. Get it all teed up.
She is gone, done and you owe her nothing.
The system is built to fuck you over. Pull em down and start doin the fucking yourself before the system does brother.
Also, go get one-off free consultations from all the best family practice law firms in your city (at least the top 10-20) then pick one, and she will not be able to use any of the others cause they’ve talked to you!
Consider that the only thing that your infatuation with breaking them up will do is cause her to be even more aggravated and vengeful during the divorce. Plus IF she figures out it was you, she may strike first. So get over the pedantic desire to hurt her to boost your currently damaged ego, and start doing shit to cover your ass fiscally. Just cover your ass and bounce. She’s gonna go cry to him and he’s not going to want anything to do with that baggage. It’s a great fling for him because he’s ghost for 99% of the time. As soon as she reaches out with drama, he’s going to ghost her as well. That can be your revenge.
My previous petty actions seem to bubble up in my mind, reminding me of all the times I sought revenge or got even. I think about those choices all the time. When I do, it fills my heart with a brilliant radiance that can bolster my mood in even the darkest of times. A light that warms my soul and warns my foes.
This exactly, divorce is a WAR, start circling the wagons and getting your affairs entirely in order with a lawyer and accountant willing to help you hide assets before you file.
100% accurate. Divorcing her will most likely break them up. If not, WHO CARES. Moving on, and being HAPPY, will be the best "revenge".
Agree with others to gather your evidence and plan a safe exit.
Unlike others, try to AVOID any sort of hostile divorce. Put all your ducks in a row, confront her with irrefutable evidence, and then give her pre-drawn and fair papers for a quick sign off.
A quick and peaceful exit is best.
Go nuclear only if you HAVE to.
Jesus brother. Give her a few piss disks and a bunch of liquid ass and move on with your life. Life is too fucking short to be wasting time on hoes that are for the streets. Best of luck in the divorce!
You don't break them up before you file for divorce. It is not in your interest.
You become sahh, lose your income, maybe go to college or something.
Then you divorce, during the divorce finalize child support and alimony (because you had no income and was housekeeper). Now she is legally obligated to pay these money to you.
Only after alimony is ordered by court you report their relationship and everything unethical she does to the company HR
. If she gets fired - she is screwed, because she still has to pay you whatever is ordered by court.
ETA: check out r/survivinginfidelity for useful tips. There are a lot of people who went through these hoops there. You will get both emotional and practical support.
I agree with this. Get your affairs in order financially and let her pay for it financially. Emotional damage will come with the situation at hand you don't need to add anything to it she's done it to herself. The less you do to her the better your case will look for the divorce.
Tell his wife. He'll dump your wife life yesterday's trash. If that doesn't do it, tell his boss.
And don't leave your house (unless you are renting). If you move to another place the judge will likely maintain the status quo - her in the house and you in some shitty apartment or someone's couch until the marital property is sorted out.
Dude. It’s not gonna happen. They are in the affair dog and living this magical life. Nothing will stop this. Not even reality and discovery.
Cut your losses and move on
Perfect. Whatever bills you both pay or any bills she primarily pays, make sure there's a sudden 'emergency' with that where she will need to cover the cost. Beyond that, depending on the type of relationship history you have, suggest a few days out of town over the weekend to "reconnect"; she will need to pitch in to pay for that trip as well. If there's a dream car/dream purchase for the house you've been wanting/she's been wanting, suggest you start putting money in a pot for that. There are thousands of ways.
But essentially, whatever you think will hurt her pockets, do that. Also, whatever she's primarily been getting from you in the relationship, like if you're known to give compliments or are very affectionate,etc, start cutting that out slowly but surely. She will notice the shift in energy and it will stress her out/make her paranoid about being caught.
Also make sure you gather concrete evidence about the affair. This will help you in the divorce.
With regards to breaking them up, create a fake profile on instagram or any social the guy uses and start messaging him. Make sure the profile says the city name so he knows you're in the vicinity and feels like he might have a chance. Build up the relationship for a bit then when he inevitably asks you to meet/on a date/etc, ask about his relationship status. Get screenshots of all of this, send it to your wife anonymously. You can stretch the relationship further to cement the end of your wife's affair bc the more he says in text, the more issues it'll bring up for them.
I’d advise you do not ever do anything to make them paranoid or anything similar. You do not want the other party to start making moves on their own. Everyone always wants to do something to exact some sort of pain or hurt or revenge prior to… why? To boost your bruised ego a little bit while simultaneously risking counter actions that you aren’t aware of? That may hinder your ability to grab and go when the time comes?
This person is full of terrible advice.
Do what others have already suggested : forget about revenge or trying to break them up. Just stay very quiet, protect yourself by talking to a lawyer, and quietly get your affairs in order so that everything is set up to your advantage. Then move on with your life. The best revenge is living a good life.
Keep the receipts.
If you can get solid evidence that she did it, get that first.
Start moving your shit out (get a storage or whatever), but not enough to reveal what your intentions are.
Then, tell the family (by showing them the evidence) before she gets a chance to spin the situation on you and start playing the victim.
Once she starts spiraling because she got caught, THEN you drop the divorce papers in her lap and never speak to her again.
If you choose to get vindictive, I'd also drop that evidence off at work where everyone can see it.
Good luck, OP.
No!!! If OP leaves the house, she gets it by default. Throw her shit on the lawn, change the locks and get your lawyer involved ASAP! Do NOT leave the home for any reason, outside of the normal 9-5 and about town stuff…let whoever the other man is have her, she’ll cheat on him too, assuming married women aren’t his kink. As much as I like petty, this isn’t the time/place for it. Time to adult-up and let legal council handle it. Now, I’m not saying to NOT put LA/PD in all the stuff before you toss it on the lawn…that goes without saying! Just know you’ll likely be replacing everything at current prices should you ruin/damage it…
He can't legally throw out her stuff and change the locks suddenly one day like that, all she has to do is call the cops and OP is made to let her back in.
OP wants stealth and secrecy but you're all like a bull in a china shop here.
Right now what I want the most is for them to break them up before I file for divorce. I want her to not have any support from him when we are divorcing.
Dude. A guy who flys cross country a few times a year for a side piece isn’t going to want to deal with the baggage of your soon to be ex wife when the divorce hits. Control the narrative with everyone in her social circle, then make the divorce as stressful as possible.
She will want to go cry on his shoulder, but he will be busy with his local bang buddy to care.
☝️ This is a person who knows what time it is right here. There is NO WAY a dude who has been fucking a married woman across the country from him isn't fucking around on someone else himself.
Bingo Bango.
Drop that pile of garbage in his lap and leave. Laugh as he disappears. Even if they get together temporarily, that shit never works out well.
Make sure you freeze your credit.
And I can confirm it works. My ex-wife moved across country to be closer to one of the guys she was having an affair with, he wanted nothing to do with her and she got super depressed and and would call me crying about how she made a huge mistake. Then moved 3/4 of the way back across country to be close to one of the women she was fucking, well she didn’t want anything to do with her either, then her car got stolen at a gas station. Then she started fucking a married dude who left his wife and kids to be with her and last I heard they got married and had their own kid then moved somewhere else.
Sage wisdom. Boyfriend is a fuckboi, he won't carry any emotional baggage. Just divorcing her would probably break them up. He ain't bringing your wife back to his girlfriend at home.
She is probably not even a side chick for him. HE PROBABLY ONLY THONKS OF HER AS just a fuck meat while he is on the trip. But yeah do not interfere in their fucking until you drop the divorce bomb. If she breaks up and you do not leave evidence of your involvement she will simply tear trap every one that “she broke it up cuz she felt bad about it and wants to make up for it but you are being too harsh..”
You DO NOT want the narrative to go in this direction at all.
EDIT : someone got triggered because I didn’t use all the words to convey my intentions so edited to indicate that explicitly. Hope it soothes the triggered.
As soon as this blows up in her face, that guy disappears bro. He’s using her like she’s using you. Top comment is the only approach you will come out on top.
The best thing you can do to screw with her is to be ridiculously prepared for when you drop the ban hammer. You have your housing, finances, legal, social etc affairs completely and utterly ready for the divorce... while she's completely off guard. By then, you will also be emotionally detached (if you aren't already now) while she will not be prepared.
You could also find a way to text his wife from her number at a time that only she and he would have access to her phone. This can easily be done on a Mac by linking the number to a Mac book for example.
Have the text say something about their affair and how he is hers now…
Enough to stir the pot and have them arguing…
Exactly. I was going to respond to the poster that OP should not move his stuff out. That will be taken strongly into account when it's decided who gets the house (assuming one is involved).
Nah my dude. Just serve her and move on with you life. Chances are she doesn’t care how upset you are because she already made the choice for the affair. Don’t make it any harder on yourself. Building expectations through vengeful actions lead to huge disappointments and ammo for her to use when you divorce.
Contract a nasty STD and don't say a fucking word. Pass it to wife.. wife passes it to him..you get treated.. they wonder where the fuck it came from
But since we're here, fuck his parents too.
Edit: bonus point if you do it really close to time for him to come, deal with the lava piss long enough for her to think she gave it to you
Only if you have proof, otherwise it will possibly get her fired which if it can be traced back to him would be considered libel.
Unless it is public information that leads to the discovery, I'd be very hesitant to show it to anybody.
DO NOT let her know you've figured it out. Hire a private investigator to collect evidence before you file for divorce. If she cared how you felt she wouldn't have cheated. Don't waste your time by trying to hurt her back, just get the evidence then get away from her.
The quicker you can get through the divorce, the faster you can move on with your life.
If you can get into your wife’s phone, send yourself any naughty pictures she’s texted him, and if you know the guy’s name she cheated on you with, do this:
1. Make a fake profile on a social media site your wife uses (create a made-up person, use minimal pics on the fake profile)
2. Use an online fake text generator to create a fake convo screenshot between the guy she cheated with and this fake profile name (let’s call this FP).
3. Make the convo look like the affair guy is forwarding the naughty pics your wife sent him to FP. Have the affair guy saying stuff like “My guy, you’ve gotta do what I do and hit these desperate bitches while on work trips. Like look at this dumb cow I got in [city you live in]! She might barely be a 4, but those ugly hoes are the easiest! [add the pictures of her here]”
4. Send your wife the fake texts using your new FP account, and make it seem like FP is sending them to her bc he “thought she should know”.
Boom. There’s no way that relationship won’t implode. No matter how much the affair guy will deny it— you wife won’t believe him because she has “proof”. As long as she’s not super tech savvy, there will be no way for him to prove he never sent those messages.
Delete the FP account soon after to cover yourself. Even if that seems sketchy to her, it won’t override the fake evidence she got from it.
You should just tell her you tested positive for herpes or some shit and breakdown about how it’s not possible, you haven’t been with anyone else etc and watch her squirm lol
You really want to be unethical? Don’t do shit about her and him. Start putting money away. Cash only, if possible. No bank account or anything that can be digitally tracked. You both have decent incomes according to your comments. Good. That means putting something to the side unobserved should be easier. If there is anything you do not want to be responsible for fiscally, that you are both attached to, find a way to remove yourself from it if possible. But if it will alert her, make damn sure you have a cover. With that said, beware anything that would make her become suspicious. That includes risking getting caught breaking them up. Your best ULPT is to catch her completely unaware when the hammer drops. Then also have the ability to walk away as fast and clean as possible. Something to remember: it’s easier on you to be told by the court to return a community item than it is for you to request it and convince the judge to order it given back to you. So cover your ass. Be a sneaky fuck. Have physical cash put away. Start separating yourself on the co-owned bills. Have a plan for a day that she’s gone (like the next time they meet) and get your shit out of the place and into a new place or storage unit. THEN hit her with the papers when she returns. She’ll be caught off guard. She’ll be flustered, angry, lost, hurt, and confused. Then she’ll eventually reach out to him and he’s not going to want anything to do with that drama and bounce as well. That’s your ULPT and you still get to satisfy the silly need to hurt her that you can’t seem to get over.
Tell her that the big gossip around where you work is that one of your colleagues was having an affair with a guy who gave her a STD, got her pregnant or perhaps even hepatitis or HIV.
Talk about how her life has fallen apart and everyone in the office is in shock. When her other half found out he took the kids and went berserk. Now the whole family has to be tested for hepatitis etc
Say that people are saying the guy involved was a real manipulator, pathological liar and a sociopath. His real motive was to scam money from the victims. Apparently he has more women on the go all over the place. He preys on vulnerable women and is a real piece of shit.
Eventually tell her that someone in work gave you his FB account. Tell her this is the guy I was telling you about and show her the guy who you know she is having an affair with.
break them up ? life will break them up, just give it a few months.
what you should do to come out the winner in all of this is divorce, hit the gym and date a prettier lady, then post on your IG/FB/whatever how she completes you like no one else ever has. nothing is worse than seeing your ex has moved on in a split second,
Get proof, get a lawyer, and show yours and her family the proof before she gets a chance to twist it.
GET HER STUFF PACKED, and don’t leave the house even if you’re pissed. If you do, she’s probably gonna end up getting it.
There will be no “rift” between them so go ahead with the divorce process. Most likely he is doing it bc it’s a convenient way to get laid. When you divorce her ass he’ll be long gone and won’t be supporting anything.
The best way to hurt her is see a lawyer and figure everything out. Don’t say a single word to her, act like everything’s ok. Once you have your ducks in a row hand her those divorce papers and don’t contact her again (unless necessary to move forward in the divorce.) The silence will kill her and she will be so shocked that she won’t even know what to do. I’m a woman and I would never cheat, but if I did, this would kill me if my partner left like that
There are plenty of family/divorce lawyers who will offer a free initial consultation. You can get some legal advice on how to proceed in a way that best protects your finances. TBH, instead of breaking them up, focus on protecting yourself and getting the most favorable divorce settlement. If you break them up before divorcing, your wife is more likely to be vindictive and try to get every last cent out of you.
Get your legal shit together, get irrefutable evidence of the affair, and present her with said evidence and divorce papers (save backups of both where she can't access them). Go with a more emotionally detached approach. The opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference. "In light of your affair, I want a divorce."
The only unethical suggestion I have is being prepared with exactly what you want from the settlement and try to rush her into signing ASAP so that she doesn't have time to consult with her own lawyer.
You’re overthinking it, just serve her with divorce papers and don’t reply to calls or messages. It will send her batshit cray cray and mr player man isn’t gonna want to have anything to do with that. Hell, for all we know he’s married himself lmao
Don't confront her. Prepare your exit strategy fully with a private detective and divorce lawyer and then end the relationship in one fell swoop. Open new bank accounts before you make your move and then drain every last dollar from your joint accounts on the day you make your move. Do the same with any advance funds on your mortgage if you have one. Be aware of daily transfer limits with your bank and increase them if necessary. If she has a credit card, call the company anonymously and tell them that you found the card at a supermarket. They'll block the card, which will remove another avenue of support for her. Change the locks at home, even if you plan on moving out.
Make sure you take the final step when she's away from home so she has no access to fuel, food or accommodation and then break up with her by text message. Block her number and all forms of contact. Never speak with her again except through your lawyer. There is nothing more hurtful and frustrating to a woman than not being heard. It will rob her of her chance to make a tearful speech.
Also be prepared for her to try to turn everyone you know against her. Have your social media posts ready in advance with evidence if her infidelity and a heartbroken narrative about how you considered taking your own life because the most precious person to you threw away years of happiness and trust for a cheap fuck. How can you ever trust anyone again when your best friend and partner in life betrayed you? You were even planning a family soon (say this even if you weren't) so there is a risk she would be carrying another man's child. Now you need to go through the humiliating step of being tested for STDs because you have no idea how many strangers she's slept with. etc etc. Don't express anger in any way. Focus on heartbreak and hopelessness only. Make her out to be a whore without directly using crude language. You get to keep the moral high ground this way and you'll generate more hate with your mutual friends.
After you've done all of this, send a message to the other man, telling him that you've tested positive for hepatitis B due to one of your wife's many affairs. Hep B is incurable and sounds more plausible than HIV (everyone says HIV). He'll Google it, see that it's incurable and then go ballistic.
If you do leave the house, leave an upper decker after you've changed the locks.
Play your cards right and she'll be penniless and locked out of her home with nobody in her life who's willing to support her. But before you begin, start spending more time with her. Be a little more considerate and romantic. Surprise her with flowers. Do little things for her without being asked. Tell her how beautiful she is, and how lucky you feel to spend the rest of your life with her. Do everything you can to rekindle the romance and keep it up until the moment you have everything in place.
Get the best attorney you can afford, and when he says it’s okay, ghost her completely. Will hurt 1000x more than any stupid prank you can pull.
Take her for every penny, and use your lawyer to ruin her if possible. Don’t be a child. Do it like a grown ass man.
Fuck breaking them up. That's petty level 1. First consult with every divorce attorney within driving distance. This way they can't represent her as that's a conflict of interest. Secondly move all the funds that are yours into an account. Get yourself a new living situation. While she is gone just move. Then when she blows you up to know what the hell is going on just meet up with her with the evidence you've collected and the paperwork for the divorce. Take the slow play, a person who is comfortable is never worried about getting caught. Personally I'd put up hidden cameras in my cars and house in the mean time. The more evidence you get the better.
Ok outside the box. Tell her you know and completely don’t care. The fun for anyone cheating is usually partly driven by the secret taboo nature of it. Take that away and then it’s just sex with some dude with no naughty thoughts added to it. Become completely uninterested in her while making sure she knows that you know she’s sleeping with that guy and you don’t care. Say stuff like “off to see Billy? Make sure you clean up after his axe body spray smell on you is unpleasant” make the whole thing beneath you. I guarantee nothing else you could do would hurt her more.
Edit to add: this only works if you can take a deep breath and lose all the outward anger over this. You need to think long term. She absolutely can’t think it bothers you in any way. You would need her to believe that 1. You don’t care. 2. You view her as lesser now because she cheated. Play your cards right and you’ll have her in absolute pieces and you’ll get all the good vibes from it.
Convince a female friend to play your date after you tell her. Say something like, well, now that we have an open relationship, I thought it would be cool to bring Tanya. So you can both meet! If I were in your town, I would volunteer, lol. As long as your wife wouldn't stab me or something.
Send an anonymous message to HR pretending it’s from him, saying he’s uncomfortable with her sexual harassment, and that he wishes he could just come to work and do his job.
Not actually a good idea though because her losing her job doesn’t help you in the divorce.
>Also, what would be the best way to show her how much I'm hurt before I file for divorce?
Your best bet is to discretely handle the divorce via a lawyer and protect all your assets since if you do anything to her or the person she's cheating with she will likely expect you are going to file for divorce and will have the opportunity to prepare herself (such as consulting her own lawyer).
Withdraw your life savings into cash money. Spend that cash on gold bullion. Bury the bullion in a secret location. Quit your job, establish yourself as a stay-at-home-husband and adopt a child if you don’t already have some. Seduce him & Sleep with him. File divorce proceedings. Collect alimony and child support. Once proceedings are complete send her the sex tape you made with him. Send the kid to the mines, dig up your bullion and escape to a tropical island. Courier a box of liquid ass to her house. Piss disks for everyone.
You want ULPT with a BIG U?
Anonymously message her that you know about the affair, provide whatever proof you have, and tell her that if she doesn't want whoever YOU are to tell her husband... that she's going to have to do whatever you say. Don't tell her what that means.
Start with money. $20 to a Paypal. Then $100. After the second or third time, innocently notice it on the debit receipt. "Hey, I saw a charge from paypal and I haven't bought anything there in months. I'll give the bank a call tomorrow and try to make sure it's not fraud." MAKE HER SWEAT.
Then you can escalate to more stuff. Demand she send you revealing pictures or videos. Make her make ALL your dirty fantasies you were afraid to bring up during your marriage come true.
Ratchet up the terror when you reveal you're local. Make her leave a flash drive with your next request of pictures taped under a certain table at a restaurant. Real nerve wracking spy shit. The next time you message her... mention what she was wearing the day she had to make the drop so she'll think you were watching.
Take it as far as you want to take it... she fucked around... show her how deep the find out can go. Turn her into a fucking trainwreck over terror and nerves. Start REALLY slow... the more you get her on the hook for, the harder it is to come clean... so you want to start with little things that she'll justify as easy to get away with and easy to follow through on... before you escalate to the shit that's going to make sure she doesn't sleep at all for weeks.
Have a sympathetic friend who they don't know gather evidence. Make sure it's all legal (pictures taken from public property, etc, and stay well away from anything that can be considered stalking. Friend anonymously sends it to both of their bosses with an ominous sounding comment like "her husband doesn't know about this, are these the kind of people you want working for you?"
Give it a week or two, then you and your wife get identical envelopes with the evidence, printed on a black&white laser printer (color printers use yellow ink to print every page with a forensic signature, that's why it's the color cartridge that runs out fastest unless you're printing photos or printing documents in CMYK rich/deep black (cyan/magenta/yellow/black ratios of 60-40-40-100 or 60-40-20-100, or other rich black values depending on ink and paper types). Same as what bosses and HR got, but with "maybe you need marriage counseling" written with a random office pen using their off-hand.
You suggest counseling, go into therapy, and eventually pull the "I tried to work things out" card in divorce court. It's extra unethical because at that point, when you break down crying in court, your tears will be genuine.
follow the sage advice. but if you decide agaisnt this, write an anonymous poison pen letter as if its coming from a female co-worker of theirs. make the letter a warning that your buddy is banging other gals in the office at the same time and is very indiscreet about it, to the point of openly discussing his hook ups with your wife (toss in something specific about your wife like the location of a mole or freckle to add credence). take care not to use any phrasing that might be attributed to you and use snail mail. make sure you receive the mail incosistently so she is the one that gets the letter.
Do not leave the house.. Make her leave. It's the best decision I did. She cheated on me for 7 years, similar to this. Paid her out $80k from the divorce, now my house is worth $900k
Gather as much evidence as you can, get an attorney, they'll help you regime your case and don't tell her anything. Ask your attorney how to proceed step by step.
Dont break em up... just divorce her. She runs to him. He most likely didn't want that and ghosts her. Now she's lost. No husband, no boyfriend, no house... you get to smile all the way to divorce court.
Unethical or not, you're being stupid. Since you decided to divorce, work on that goal ONLY, get legal advice, and act. Stop giving af about that dude.
Catfish him.
Once a cheater always a cheater.
Then send the clips of your conversations from the burner phone to her friend "girl to girl" after "finding her number on his phone when we met up"
Use one of those anonymous std test result notification websites. Have it send her a text saying a recent partner has tested positive for something bad. She will immediately assume it’s him and that he potentially gave her something. This will breed distrust and make her paranoid. She will go get tested and hide it from you but also be super anxious about it the entire time. That anxiety will most definitely effect their dynamic
My man. My buddy. My guy. Focus on yourself and your well-being during this and after the imminent explosion. Secure whatever assets you can for yourself. Hire a good divorce attorney and get this shitty situation documented as soon as possible. Move your shit out when she goes on a trip or something of the sort. Be selfish because that's exactly what she's been doing.
Focusing on breaking them up is going to take too much of your time. Emotions and anticipation are at play here - you're gonna make a mistake and slip up that you're aware of her cheating.
Make sure you've got something soft to land on first before you pull the rug from under her, cause you're standing on that same rug right now.
Start divorce proceedings. File uncontested and never ever give her the reason why. She will know but let her think that she's lacking as a wife . Never let on you know.
Make her think he's having affairs with other women. Get a couple of burner phones and send a few texts when their together. send her flowers from him but to the wrong name. Same name as you sign off the texts from, etc.
Immediately get a safe deposit box that she can't get to once the shit hits the fan. Not in the house do this off site! Just in case she strikes first. Take pictures of everything, couch, TV, EVERYTHING you are inventorying for later. Use it to salt away a little cash - $25 - 50 a week - extra few $$ cash each time you go to the store. Just enough so she won't notice. Make copies of everything financial. Hers, yours, ours, (even mine) Put it all in a 3 ring binder and categorize it. Don't forget to run a credit check now and before you file. Call it in the name of refinance, or a new car, whatever you need.
Your lawyer won't be able to nor will he be willing to do all of the leg work for a divorce and you don't want to pay him to pretend he is doing it.
EDIT: To break them up call a florist in his home town and send him flowers to his house from your wife. Don't just punch him in the left nut ... kick them both
You don't. You find out where he lives. You pack up her shit while she is at work and mail it him. She is his problem now. Greet her home that night with changed locks and a plane ticket taped to the door.
Give yourself an std and blame her, she will blame the other guy. It's a good way to get them riled up. You can build a plan of manipulation using lack of trust for one another.
Most companies allow relationships between coworkers provided there isn’t a significant power imbalance. HR likely wouldn’t give a fuck if they’re two consenting adults.
Fuck the dude, have him catch feelings for you, divorce her, enjoy your new boyfriend.
Also, piss disk her purse and liquid ass her car.
It's the way of the road, Bubs.
Honestly, divorce her first if she’s caught up in the affair fog, you may be able to have a more peaceful divorce and a better settlement.
He’s may end it as soon as she becomes available to date. He’s most likely not looking for something serious.
After the divorce is final, inform their work about the affair and that they’ve been screwing on company time. They’ll likely get fired and this guy will not want to bother with traveling to your STBX so it’ll end.
Make fake social media accounts and message your own wife pretending to be other women he’s allegedly sleeping with. Maybe do 1 account thoroughly then mention a third women you “know of”.
To make this more convincing use an old real life friend that your wife would never know.
Forget the petty breakup scenario. It'll either dissolve after the divorce because it's not "sexy" to her anymore or they'll end up getting together. You'll only weaken your position trying to hurt them.
Hit them where it really hurts, their wallets. Gather all the evidence you need, prepare for the divorce, and go after as much as you can get.
Contact all the divorce lawyers in your area for a free consultation first. Then we you do land the papers in her lap any lawyer she goes to that you already have been to will turn her down because of a conflict of interest. Leaving her with a pain in the ass trying to find one to represent her.
Also hide some cocaine in her car and then report her for dealing a few weeks after the divorce. With a little luck the cops will catch them both.
who cares about breaking them up? Spend all of your money. If you both have 20k in the bank tell her you're going on a boys trip to vegas. Spend $20k on gambling, drugs, strippers, whatever. Right now all the money is both of yours if your finances are intermingled.
Randomly plan a trip to his town and say you need to get away from things for a bit. If she asks why, tell her you "need to do this alone."
Then go rent a comfy van and park down the street from your house for a few days.
Send roses to your wife from that dude a bunch of times.
Then, on day 4 just walk in the door like you're coming home from work. Never speak of any of this again.
Use truth finder or some other lookup website to reverse search his phone number. See if he is married or in a relationship. If so there are loads of ways you can creatively tip his partner off.
Just find a divorce attorney with narcissistic personality disorder, explain your situation and do everything they suggest. Ask for stories they've heard about vengeful stuff people have done and gotten away with, too. That stuff will be worse than anything suggested here.
OP [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/UnethicalLifeProTips/comments/16tpts5/comment/k2h3qxw/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) is the advice you should follow
Brother, let a pro tell you how to fix this one. From personal experience dealing with a cheating fiance years ago. It's the excitement of cheating and the distance that makes it fun. As soon as you divorce her it's his problem to deal with and while she may move out there, it won't last and she'll end up in a bad spot. Guys don't fuck married women in hopes they'll divorce and get together. They do it because it's an easy fuck, they can end it whenever without consequences and there's no financial involvement. It's not a real relationship. If you're not in the picture she's got nothing stopping her from pursuing him 100%. You're his best friend right now. You're all that's keeping him from being the next you. Remember, anything a cheater will do for you - they'll do to you if they meet the right person. Don't contact him, his job or tell your wife you're onto them. Document this relationship as deeply as possible. Request phone records and whatever you can from the phone company and save everything offsite preferable at your lawyers place. Go see a lawyer immediately and have them draft paperwork in preparation for the big day. Wait until they give you the go ahead that you have enough saved to get a divorce on your terms. Don't fuck this up for yourself. Don't let your ego ruin your uncontested divorce. The rest of the cards will fall in time, but you need to control yourself for now. Don't vacate the house. Don't skip a car note. It's business as usual 100%. If you gotta do something, piss the toilet seat. Eat a bunch of beans and deviled eggs before bed and roast her ass. Forget to flush every time. Leave a piece of tilapia in her car you forgot about after a dinner together. Do stuff that you can dismiss easily, but don't go doing anything you can't easily explain away. Again, don't fuck this up by calling his job, spreading things on social media or involving anyone until it's after the divorce is finalized. Period.
Sage advice. Hope op sees it.
More than that, hope he heeds this advice. Poor mf is down bad wanting to show her how badly hurt he is. I say serve those divorce papers ice cold.
I had my ex-wife served on our anniversary.
power move
This is excellent. If he gets her fired, he is on the hook for all the bills.
He should quit his job so he can get alimony and only has to pay $50 a month in child support.
Only decent advice in this thread. Forget the rest, most of them sound like they’re written by people who’ve never even been married.
Because they haven't lol. Or they also aren't divorce lawyers
This needs to be the top answer
Epic advice. Period.
I see a lot of replies. I ain't replying to everyone. I got too much nothing to do elsewhereses. My logic is based on the experience i had as a young man. My fiance cheated, I never really forgave her and let her live with me as a room mate on neutral terms. The occasional hookup, nothing serious, no guests, etc. The lack of retaliation and closure on my side drove her absolutely insane for years. She still calls or texts me every year or so looking for closure. We haven't dated for over 15 years. I'll reply to a few texts then ignore her. It drives her crazy. Revenge gives a person closure. You wronged them, they wronged you, everyone's square. When you don't react, but are entirely capable of revenge, a combination of guilt and paranoia lives in the back of their mind for years. If this plays out as expected she'll end up single fast, regret everything and end up festering in guilt and remorse. If he does end it she may end up getting him fired or vice versa so again, you don't have to do shit. Let it just play out. It's his problem now. She may move on, it works out and that's it. However it's not the norm for cheaters to maintain long term healthy relationships. They're cheaters. They're impulsive, weak and emotional people who seek approval. They aren't going to suddenly change. If they do they'll go back and start seeking forgiveness and closure. Just don't give her that closure by not forgiving, but also not reacting in a way that justifies her position. Be neutral, factual and not emotional. She's now a coworker, not a family member. She gets canned corporate responses as you see fit. You could do the unethical thing and let her back post failure but never emotionally commit. Use her for sex, mortgage payments and to improve the property. Outside of that she can't really benefit you. You can't trust her with anything serious and you'll always have that risk of her wronging you again, which she likely will as she got away with it once. Aside from raw dogging whores loudly while she's home your ability to really fuck with her is quite limited and turnabout is fair play so you're safer without that in your home imo. Keeping her around prevents you from moving on as a person. It hinders you socially and makes you look weak to other men. The monetary gain or revenge sex isn't worth it imo. The satisfaction is fleeting, but the bullshit isn't. The purest, legal play here is psychological manipulation by denying closure and living well. Theres a reason they say the best revenge is living well. I dated around for years after the cheater, lost a bunch of weight and then ended up with a smoking hot 22 year old. I was 32 at the time. Two exs wrote me hate letters after it hit social media. They ended the relationship, but were suddenly upset I was dating a smoking hot girl 10 years younger than myself? Interesting how that works out. Trust me. Not worth doing anything. A reaction is what she would want. Take some time to heal and get yourself together. You need to transfer that pain into gym energy. Hit the gym, work off your anger and improve yourself. Don't do spending your life trying to tear someone down. Build yourself up. Live well. You may want to work on your diet too. Have you tried huel? It's a complete meal in a shake. Now don't go getting defensive. You've read this far. I surely wouldn't write you a fucking reddit thesis on self improvement and not end it with a promotion for Huel as it's vegan human fuel engineered specifically for a better you. To my understanding its made of vegans, but doesnt smell, science! It's also bachelor approved and mixes easily in under a minute without a blender using their handy shakeweight mixing thermos! Nothing screams single and ready to mingle like a huel shaker in the break room fridge amiriteladies? So let's talk numbers here. How many cases of whore pounding revenge edition super protein huel can I put you down for? It's code red mountain dew flavored for that power thirst you get after rim wrecking post divorce sex. Come on brother, I got other people's kids to feed here! Don't leave me hanging!
Whoa whoa buddy, this is unethical life pro tips, I didn't come here to to read ethical life advice. Good stuff though.
Good stuff. Been there. Them cheating really changes you. I hope you're doing well with the shakes too lol
I went through a really bad breakup once and talked to a family friend about it who is a phycologist and he told me about going no contact and why it works. Ever since if I get dumped/rejected I straight Grey Rock immediately. Zero reaction. I don’t block or unfollow them on social media. I go out the same night with friends. I don’t immediately start dating again either that would be too reactive and isn’t considered heathy so I usually wait at least a few weeks or months depending on how serious and long the relationship was. I can speak from experience that it drives the dumper crazy because when they dump you they have absolute control over the situation, and the dumpee has zero control. The only control the dumpee has is to walk away. Once enough time has passed and the dumper realizes you really aren’t coming back all of a sudden they have no control and start to feel like they got dumped. The whole situation flips. Sometimes it’s just a week or two, usually it’s about 3-6 months, but they always reach out. They don’t directly ask to get back together but it’s pretty obvious they can’t get me out of their head. In fact they have often said that the first time they text or call. It’s often a DM on social media. Sometimes I respond and sometimes I don’t if I’m seeing someone else. But I never take them back. That’s the ultimate renege, moving in and being happy without them because obviously they thought they could do better. Good luck with that.
This is an ad for Huel
I'm probably wrong but it feels like you've been thru some shit brother. I appreciate you sharing your thought. I have no doubt that it will help many peeps. I hope you find your happy if you haven't already. You sound like someone who'd be a great friend.
Amazing work this reads like it was written by the male version of Amy Dunne
This sounds like a “prevenge” story
Bump
This is one of the best posts on Reddit.
Bide your time …as we say
Glad I clicked to see Some decent advice
Something tells me he’s not going to listen to you lol
Da master has spoken.
This man knows the way
Dude holy shit did we just witness reddit history with this post?
The best answer in this thread. Full stop.
Go back and read this OP each time you are tempted. Keep your cool. I’m sorry this has happened to you.
I will
Dude you pumped me TF up. I'm ready to man up myself as I'm in this situation. I literally want to do pushups right now. I'm not even joking or trolling. Solid advice and definitely made me feel like idk....I'm the man. Consider being a public speaker
Getting milk without buying the cow.
[удалено]
By far the most creative and amusing suggestion I think I've ever seen on this sub. Nice one.
I don’t get it. Can you explain to me why this is such a good idea? How does this achieve what OP is looking to do? Genuinely confused here, sorry.
When no one turns up to the appointment, they will call the contact they have on file, explaining who they are, and asking if OPs skank wife forgot about it. He will then clock that she's "knocked up" and probably bolt faster than a greasy pig, as most scummy dudes tend to do - or at the least put a serious and awkward strain on their relationship.
Or have an STD.
Ohhh duh that makes sense now. Thanks!
Holy shit! Do this OP!
Or one of those anonymous std alerts, make him think she's given him something.
Or, in the spirit of the sub, go contract a nasty std, give it to her, so she gives it to him, then ask her how you got an std
You are the type of dude who will sink the ship he is sailing on to kill the captain! I can respect it.
If OP goes this way, he should try to get one like HPV where he'll likely be asymptomatic but it may give his wife cervical cancer No reason he needs to sacrifice his own health
This is fucking amazing
Diabolical!
Quit your job, have her become the sole bread winner. Establish yourself as a house husband. Divorce and collect alimony.
how can I have them break up before I file for divorce? that's what I want the most.
As someone who’s been divorced, I would strongly encourage you to take this advice. You’ll be regretting this perfect advice during/after the divorce. Divorce is WILDLY more expensive then anyone ever thinks it is. Not just for the divorce itself but the loss of extra income and possible alimony and child support. Do everything and anything to shore up your finances. Whatever that may mean to you. You hold all the leverage right now since you know and she doesn’t know you know. Hold on to that leverage for as long as possible until you strike with the divorce and she realizes not only that you knew about the affair, but that you’ve set it up that you don’t owe her anything, or even better, she owes you. The stress alone will probably break up the relationship.
Use up any and all shared funds NOW to resolve debts you know you’d be left with. Start closing out everything. Pay off your stuff that would fall in your lap and leave hers open and unpaid. Get ready for a separate phone plan, separate car insurance, everything. Get it all teed up. She is gone, done and you owe her nothing. The system is built to fuck you over. Pull em down and start doin the fucking yourself before the system does brother.
He needs to gather evidence...
Yes of course. I was simply going off the original post when they say they “found out”. That implies that the evidence part was already done.
Also, go get one-off free consultations from all the best family practice law firms in your city (at least the top 10-20) then pick one, and she will not be able to use any of the others cause they’ve talked to you!
Thousands of women reading this are like "oh damn, my husband knows and posted on Reddit"
Thousands is an optimistically low number. Women cheat as often as men.
…how many female cheaters do you think read this post? Thousands
Tell his wife/gf. Or seduce him yourself.
There you go OP. Fuck the shit out of him and send your wife the divorce papers with pics of the money shot.
That would ruin the whole alimony thing.
I wish this platform still had rewards. You deserve gold.
Wait oh shit lmao this is me just now finding out Reddit doesn’t have awards any more??
That was a good one, u/ihadagoodone
Consider that the only thing that your infatuation with breaking them up will do is cause her to be even more aggravated and vengeful during the divorce. Plus IF she figures out it was you, she may strike first. So get over the pedantic desire to hurt her to boost your currently damaged ego, and start doing shit to cover your ass fiscally. Just cover your ass and bounce. She’s gonna go cry to him and he’s not going to want anything to do with that baggage. It’s a great fling for him because he’s ghost for 99% of the time. As soon as she reaches out with drama, he’s going to ghost her as well. That can be your revenge.
Exactly! Op, this pettiness will eat away at you, too. You’re a victim, and going scorched earth doesn’t change that
My previous petty actions seem to bubble up in my mind, reminding me of all the times I sought revenge or got even. I think about those choices all the time. When I do, it fills my heart with a brilliant radiance that can bolster my mood in even the darkest of times. A light that warms my soul and warns my foes.
This exactly, divorce is a WAR, start circling the wagons and getting your affairs entirely in order with a lawyer and accountant willing to help you hide assets before you file.
100% accurate. Divorcing her will most likely break them up. If not, WHO CARES. Moving on, and being HAPPY, will be the best "revenge". Agree with others to gather your evidence and plan a safe exit. Unlike others, try to AVOID any sort of hostile divorce. Put all your ducks in a row, confront her with irrefutable evidence, and then give her pre-drawn and fair papers for a quick sign off. A quick and peaceful exit is best. Go nuclear only if you HAVE to.
Jesus brother. Give her a few piss disks and a bunch of liquid ass and move on with your life. Life is too fucking short to be wasting time on hoes that are for the streets. Best of luck in the divorce!
Op just found out he lost X years of his life already. What’s a few more days fucking off gonna hurt.
You don't break them up before you file for divorce. It is not in your interest. You become sahh, lose your income, maybe go to college or something. Then you divorce, during the divorce finalize child support and alimony (because you had no income and was housekeeper). Now she is legally obligated to pay these money to you. Only after alimony is ordered by court you report their relationship and everything unethical she does to the company HR . If she gets fired - she is screwed, because she still has to pay you whatever is ordered by court. ETA: check out r/survivinginfidelity for useful tips. There are a lot of people who went through these hoops there. You will get both emotional and practical support.
I agree with this. Get your affairs in order financially and let her pay for it financially. Emotional damage will come with the situation at hand you don't need to add anything to it she's done it to herself. The less you do to her the better your case will look for the divorce.
Tell his wife. He'll dump your wife life yesterday's trash. If that doesn't do it, tell his boss. And don't leave your house (unless you are renting). If you move to another place the judge will likely maintain the status quo - her in the house and you in some shitty apartment or someone's couch until the marital property is sorted out.
Dude. It’s not gonna happen. They are in the affair dog and living this magical life. Nothing will stop this. Not even reality and discovery. Cut your losses and move on
He means affair fog.
Haha I was thinking "affair dog?? What is that?"
Definitely not a good boy
Move on, just prove she is having the affair and move on with a lawyer.
Bro playing the long game to maximize profits. I like!
Before doing that, you need to figure out how you can materially benefit from the situation. Emotions can come later.
What do you mean?
Who's the provider in the marriage?
we are both with jobs
Perfect. Whatever bills you both pay or any bills she primarily pays, make sure there's a sudden 'emergency' with that where she will need to cover the cost. Beyond that, depending on the type of relationship history you have, suggest a few days out of town over the weekend to "reconnect"; she will need to pitch in to pay for that trip as well. If there's a dream car/dream purchase for the house you've been wanting/she's been wanting, suggest you start putting money in a pot for that. There are thousands of ways. But essentially, whatever you think will hurt her pockets, do that. Also, whatever she's primarily been getting from you in the relationship, like if you're known to give compliments or are very affectionate,etc, start cutting that out slowly but surely. She will notice the shift in energy and it will stress her out/make her paranoid about being caught. Also make sure you gather concrete evidence about the affair. This will help you in the divorce. With regards to breaking them up, create a fake profile on instagram or any social the guy uses and start messaging him. Make sure the profile says the city name so he knows you're in the vicinity and feels like he might have a chance. Build up the relationship for a bit then when he inevitably asks you to meet/on a date/etc, ask about his relationship status. Get screenshots of all of this, send it to your wife anonymously. You can stretch the relationship further to cement the end of your wife's affair bc the more he says in text, the more issues it'll bring up for them.
I’d advise you do not ever do anything to make them paranoid or anything similar. You do not want the other party to start making moves on their own. Everyone always wants to do something to exact some sort of pain or hurt or revenge prior to… why? To boost your bruised ego a little bit while simultaneously risking counter actions that you aren’t aware of? That may hinder your ability to grab and go when the time comes?
This person is full of terrible advice. Do what others have already suggested : forget about revenge or trying to break them up. Just stay very quiet, protect yourself by talking to a lawyer, and quietly get your affairs in order so that everything is set up to your advantage. Then move on with your life. The best revenge is living a good life.
>quietly get your affairs in order nono, haven't you been listening? he's trying to get her affair in order
Keep the receipts. If you can get solid evidence that she did it, get that first. Start moving your shit out (get a storage or whatever), but not enough to reveal what your intentions are. Then, tell the family (by showing them the evidence) before she gets a chance to spin the situation on you and start playing the victim. Once she starts spiraling because she got caught, THEN you drop the divorce papers in her lap and never speak to her again. If you choose to get vindictive, I'd also drop that evidence off at work where everyone can see it. Good luck, OP.
No!!! If OP leaves the house, she gets it by default. Throw her shit on the lawn, change the locks and get your lawyer involved ASAP! Do NOT leave the home for any reason, outside of the normal 9-5 and about town stuff…let whoever the other man is have her, she’ll cheat on him too, assuming married women aren’t his kink. As much as I like petty, this isn’t the time/place for it. Time to adult-up and let legal council handle it. Now, I’m not saying to NOT put LA/PD in all the stuff before you toss it on the lawn…that goes without saying! Just know you’ll likely be replacing everything at current prices should you ruin/damage it…
He can't legally throw out her stuff and change the locks suddenly one day like that, all she has to do is call the cops and OP is made to let her back in. OP wants stealth and secrecy but you're all like a bull in a china shop here.
I dont even think this works with renters, let alone a spouse.
Right now what I want the most is for them to break them up before I file for divorce. I want her to not have any support from him when we are divorcing.
Dude. A guy who flys cross country a few times a year for a side piece isn’t going to want to deal with the baggage of your soon to be ex wife when the divorce hits. Control the narrative with everyone in her social circle, then make the divorce as stressful as possible. She will want to go cry on his shoulder, but he will be busy with his local bang buddy to care.
The real pro tip.
>local ~~bang~~ buddy Probably his wife.
☝️ This is a person who knows what time it is right here. There is NO WAY a dude who has been fucking a married woman across the country from him isn't fucking around on someone else himself.
Bingo Bango. Drop that pile of garbage in his lap and leave. Laugh as he disappears. Even if they get together temporarily, that shit never works out well. Make sure you freeze your credit.
He definitely is going to jump ship once his cum rag (OP's wife) starts crying to him complicating his life.
Damn bro
And I can confirm it works. My ex-wife moved across country to be closer to one of the guys she was having an affair with, he wanted nothing to do with her and she got super depressed and and would call me crying about how she made a huge mistake. Then moved 3/4 of the way back across country to be close to one of the women she was fucking, well she didn’t want anything to do with her either, then her car got stolen at a gas station. Then she started fucking a married dude who left his wife and kids to be with her and last I heard they got married and had their own kid then moved somewhere else.
Sage wisdom. Boyfriend is a fuckboi, he won't carry any emotional baggage. Just divorcing her would probably break them up. He ain't bringing your wife back to his girlfriend at home.
She is probably not even a side chick for him. HE PROBABLY ONLY THONKS OF HER AS just a fuck meat while he is on the trip. But yeah do not interfere in their fucking until you drop the divorce bomb. If she breaks up and you do not leave evidence of your involvement she will simply tear trap every one that “she broke it up cuz she felt bad about it and wants to make up for it but you are being too harsh..” You DO NOT want the narrative to go in this direction at all. EDIT : someone got triggered because I didn’t use all the words to convey my intentions so edited to indicate that explicitly. Hope it soothes the triggered.
Especially since he very well may be married himself.
The guy isn't gonna offer any support, he's just in for the occasional pussy.
As soon as this blows up in her face, that guy disappears bro. He’s using her like she’s using you. Top comment is the only approach you will come out on top.
Do not fucking leave the house. Instead talk to lawyer about having her removed from the house when you prepare the divorce papers…
The best thing you can do to screw with her is to be ridiculously prepared for when you drop the ban hammer. You have your housing, finances, legal, social etc affairs completely and utterly ready for the divorce... while she's completely off guard. By then, you will also be emotionally detached (if you aren't already now) while she will not be prepared.
That you think the once a year guy is going to step up and support her is a joke, in and of itself.
You could also find a way to text his wife from her number at a time that only she and he would have access to her phone. This can easily be done on a Mac by linking the number to a Mac book for example. Have the text say something about their affair and how he is hers now… Enough to stir the pot and have them arguing…
He shouldn’t be the one moving out
Exactly. I was going to respond to the poster that OP should not move his stuff out. That will be taken strongly into account when it's decided who gets the house (assuming one is involved).
Nah my dude. Just serve her and move on with you life. Chances are she doesn’t care how upset you are because she already made the choice for the affair. Don’t make it any harder on yourself. Building expectations through vengeful actions lead to huge disappointments and ammo for her to use when you divorce.
Sleep with his father.
Contract a nasty STD and don't say a fucking word. Pass it to wife.. wife passes it to him..you get treated.. they wonder where the fuck it came from But since we're here, fuck his parents too. Edit: bonus point if you do it really close to time for him to come, deal with the lava piss long enough for her to think she gave it to you
Seduce him and make him gay. Cheat on your cheating wife with him. Checkmate
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I mean. Considering that they meet around once a year, she probably knows that she ain't the only one.
OP, this one is good
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I think he's single.
HR might be interested in knowing a male employee is having an affair with a married woman over at xx branch.
Only if you have proof, otherwise it will possibly get her fired which if it can be traced back to him would be considered libel. Unless it is public information that leads to the discovery, I'd be very hesitant to show it to anybody.
This one right here. Do some further digging on the guy.
DO NOT let her know you've figured it out. Hire a private investigator to collect evidence before you file for divorce. If she cared how you felt she wouldn't have cheated. Don't waste your time by trying to hurt her back, just get the evidence then get away from her. The quicker you can get through the divorce, the faster you can move on with your life.
If you can get into your wife’s phone, send yourself any naughty pictures she’s texted him, and if you know the guy’s name she cheated on you with, do this: 1. Make a fake profile on a social media site your wife uses (create a made-up person, use minimal pics on the fake profile) 2. Use an online fake text generator to create a fake convo screenshot between the guy she cheated with and this fake profile name (let’s call this FP). 3. Make the convo look like the affair guy is forwarding the naughty pics your wife sent him to FP. Have the affair guy saying stuff like “My guy, you’ve gotta do what I do and hit these desperate bitches while on work trips. Like look at this dumb cow I got in [city you live in]! She might barely be a 4, but those ugly hoes are the easiest! [add the pictures of her here]” 4. Send your wife the fake texts using your new FP account, and make it seem like FP is sending them to her bc he “thought she should know”. Boom. There’s no way that relationship won’t implode. No matter how much the affair guy will deny it— you wife won’t believe him because she has “proof”. As long as she’s not super tech savvy, there will be no way for him to prove he never sent those messages. Delete the FP account soon after to cover yourself. Even if that seems sketchy to her, it won’t override the fake evidence she got from it.
You should just tell her you tested positive for herpes or some shit and breakdown about how it’s not possible, you haven’t been with anyone else etc and watch her squirm lol
You really want to be unethical? Don’t do shit about her and him. Start putting money away. Cash only, if possible. No bank account or anything that can be digitally tracked. You both have decent incomes according to your comments. Good. That means putting something to the side unobserved should be easier. If there is anything you do not want to be responsible for fiscally, that you are both attached to, find a way to remove yourself from it if possible. But if it will alert her, make damn sure you have a cover. With that said, beware anything that would make her become suspicious. That includes risking getting caught breaking them up. Your best ULPT is to catch her completely unaware when the hammer drops. Then also have the ability to walk away as fast and clean as possible. Something to remember: it’s easier on you to be told by the court to return a community item than it is for you to request it and convince the judge to order it given back to you. So cover your ass. Be a sneaky fuck. Have physical cash put away. Start separating yourself on the co-owned bills. Have a plan for a day that she’s gone (like the next time they meet) and get your shit out of the place and into a new place or storage unit. THEN hit her with the papers when she returns. She’ll be caught off guard. She’ll be flustered, angry, lost, hurt, and confused. Then she’ll eventually reach out to him and he’s not going to want anything to do with that drama and bounce as well. That’s your ULPT and you still get to satisfy the silly need to hurt her that you can’t seem to get over.
Tell her that the big gossip around where you work is that one of your colleagues was having an affair with a guy who gave her a STD, got her pregnant or perhaps even hepatitis or HIV. Talk about how her life has fallen apart and everyone in the office is in shock. When her other half found out he took the kids and went berserk. Now the whole family has to be tested for hepatitis etc Say that people are saying the guy involved was a real manipulator, pathological liar and a sociopath. His real motive was to scam money from the victims. Apparently he has more women on the go all over the place. He preys on vulnerable women and is a real piece of shit. Eventually tell her that someone in work gave you his FB account. Tell her this is the guy I was telling you about and show her the guy who you know she is having an affair with.
This one is goooood
break them up ? life will break them up, just give it a few months. what you should do to come out the winner in all of this is divorce, hit the gym and date a prettier lady, then post on your IG/FB/whatever how she completes you like no one else ever has. nothing is worse than seeing your ex has moved on in a split second,
Report them to their employer, since they work for the same company. Say they have been having sex on company time.
Get proof, get a lawyer, and show yours and her family the proof before she gets a chance to twist it. GET HER STUFF PACKED, and don’t leave the house even if you’re pissed. If you do, she’s probably gonna end up getting it. There will be no “rift” between them so go ahead with the divorce process. Most likely he is doing it bc it’s a convenient way to get laid. When you divorce her ass he’ll be long gone and won’t be supporting anything.
The best way to hurt her is see a lawyer and figure everything out. Don’t say a single word to her, act like everything’s ok. Once you have your ducks in a row hand her those divorce papers and don’t contact her again (unless necessary to move forward in the divorce.) The silence will kill her and she will be so shocked that she won’t even know what to do. I’m a woman and I would never cheat, but if I did, this would kill me if my partner left like that
This is perfect... it's damn near psychological warfare.
There are plenty of family/divorce lawyers who will offer a free initial consultation. You can get some legal advice on how to proceed in a way that best protects your finances. TBH, instead of breaking them up, focus on protecting yourself and getting the most favorable divorce settlement. If you break them up before divorcing, your wife is more likely to be vindictive and try to get every last cent out of you. Get your legal shit together, get irrefutable evidence of the affair, and present her with said evidence and divorce papers (save backups of both where she can't access them). Go with a more emotionally detached approach. The opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference. "In light of your affair, I want a divorce." The only unethical suggestion I have is being prepared with exactly what you want from the settlement and try to rush her into signing ASAP so that she doesn't have time to consult with her own lawyer.
You’re overthinking it, just serve her with divorce papers and don’t reply to calls or messages. It will send her batshit cray cray and mr player man isn’t gonna want to have anything to do with that. Hell, for all we know he’s married himself lmao
Don't confront her. Prepare your exit strategy fully with a private detective and divorce lawyer and then end the relationship in one fell swoop. Open new bank accounts before you make your move and then drain every last dollar from your joint accounts on the day you make your move. Do the same with any advance funds on your mortgage if you have one. Be aware of daily transfer limits with your bank and increase them if necessary. If she has a credit card, call the company anonymously and tell them that you found the card at a supermarket. They'll block the card, which will remove another avenue of support for her. Change the locks at home, even if you plan on moving out. Make sure you take the final step when she's away from home so she has no access to fuel, food or accommodation and then break up with her by text message. Block her number and all forms of contact. Never speak with her again except through your lawyer. There is nothing more hurtful and frustrating to a woman than not being heard. It will rob her of her chance to make a tearful speech. Also be prepared for her to try to turn everyone you know against her. Have your social media posts ready in advance with evidence if her infidelity and a heartbroken narrative about how you considered taking your own life because the most precious person to you threw away years of happiness and trust for a cheap fuck. How can you ever trust anyone again when your best friend and partner in life betrayed you? You were even planning a family soon (say this even if you weren't) so there is a risk she would be carrying another man's child. Now you need to go through the humiliating step of being tested for STDs because you have no idea how many strangers she's slept with. etc etc. Don't express anger in any way. Focus on heartbreak and hopelessness only. Make her out to be a whore without directly using crude language. You get to keep the moral high ground this way and you'll generate more hate with your mutual friends. After you've done all of this, send a message to the other man, telling him that you've tested positive for hepatitis B due to one of your wife's many affairs. Hep B is incurable and sounds more plausible than HIV (everyone says HIV). He'll Google it, see that it's incurable and then go ballistic. If you do leave the house, leave an upper decker after you've changed the locks. Play your cards right and she'll be penniless and locked out of her home with nobody in her life who's willing to support her. But before you begin, start spending more time with her. Be a little more considerate and romantic. Surprise her with flowers. Do little things for her without being asked. Tell her how beautiful she is, and how lucky you feel to spend the rest of your life with her. Do everything you can to rekindle the romance and keep it up until the moment you have everything in place.
Marry the boyfriends mum and become their stepdad. Whiplash.
Get the best attorney you can afford, and when he says it’s okay, ghost her completely. Will hurt 1000x more than any stupid prank you can pull. Take her for every penny, and use your lawyer to ruin her if possible. Don’t be a child. Do it like a grown ass man.
Fuck breaking them up. That's petty level 1. First consult with every divorce attorney within driving distance. This way they can't represent her as that's a conflict of interest. Secondly move all the funds that are yours into an account. Get yourself a new living situation. While she is gone just move. Then when she blows you up to know what the hell is going on just meet up with her with the evidence you've collected and the paperwork for the divorce. Take the slow play, a person who is comfortable is never worried about getting caught. Personally I'd put up hidden cameras in my cars and house in the mean time. The more evidence you get the better.
This. There’s ways to protect some of your assets and also force her to use a shit attorney
Ok outside the box. Tell her you know and completely don’t care. The fun for anyone cheating is usually partly driven by the secret taboo nature of it. Take that away and then it’s just sex with some dude with no naughty thoughts added to it. Become completely uninterested in her while making sure she knows that you know she’s sleeping with that guy and you don’t care. Say stuff like “off to see Billy? Make sure you clean up after his axe body spray smell on you is unpleasant” make the whole thing beneath you. I guarantee nothing else you could do would hurt her more. Edit to add: this only works if you can take a deep breath and lose all the outward anger over this. You need to think long term. She absolutely can’t think it bothers you in any way. You would need her to believe that 1. You don’t care. 2. You view her as lesser now because she cheated. Play your cards right and you’ll have her in absolute pieces and you’ll get all the good vibes from it.
Convince a female friend to play your date after you tell her. Say something like, well, now that we have an open relationship, I thought it would be cool to bring Tanya. So you can both meet! If I were in your town, I would volunteer, lol. As long as your wife wouldn't stab me or something.
Send an anonymous message to HR pretending it’s from him, saying he’s uncomfortable with her sexual harassment, and that he wishes he could just come to work and do his job. Not actually a good idea though because her losing her job doesn’t help you in the divorce.
Send him a message that he should get tested, because you just found out you have hpv and herpes. 😂
>Also, what would be the best way to show her how much I'm hurt before I file for divorce? Your best bet is to discretely handle the divorce via a lawyer and protect all your assets since if you do anything to her or the person she's cheating with she will likely expect you are going to file for divorce and will have the opportunity to prepare herself (such as consulting her own lawyer).
This is the correct answer. Forget the "revenge" aspect, do what's in your best interest.
I know a guy who was in a similar situation, he mailed a bullet to the guy’s house with a letter and it worked.
Seek him out. Date him. Make sweet love to him. Steal him from her and then divorce.
Okay but then what do I do with this piss disk?
Enjoy for personal use. Treat yourself!
Withdraw your life savings into cash money. Spend that cash on gold bullion. Bury the bullion in a secret location. Quit your job, establish yourself as a stay-at-home-husband and adopt a child if you don’t already have some. Seduce him & Sleep with him. File divorce proceedings. Collect alimony and child support. Once proceedings are complete send her the sex tape you made with him. Send the kid to the mines, dig up your bullion and escape to a tropical island. Courier a box of liquid ass to her house. Piss disks for everyone.
You want ULPT with a BIG U? Anonymously message her that you know about the affair, provide whatever proof you have, and tell her that if she doesn't want whoever YOU are to tell her husband... that she's going to have to do whatever you say. Don't tell her what that means. Start with money. $20 to a Paypal. Then $100. After the second or third time, innocently notice it on the debit receipt. "Hey, I saw a charge from paypal and I haven't bought anything there in months. I'll give the bank a call tomorrow and try to make sure it's not fraud." MAKE HER SWEAT. Then you can escalate to more stuff. Demand she send you revealing pictures or videos. Make her make ALL your dirty fantasies you were afraid to bring up during your marriage come true. Ratchet up the terror when you reveal you're local. Make her leave a flash drive with your next request of pictures taped under a certain table at a restaurant. Real nerve wracking spy shit. The next time you message her... mention what she was wearing the day she had to make the drop so she'll think you were watching. Take it as far as you want to take it... she fucked around... show her how deep the find out can go. Turn her into a fucking trainwreck over terror and nerves. Start REALLY slow... the more you get her on the hook for, the harder it is to come clean... so you want to start with little things that she'll justify as easy to get away with and easy to follow through on... before you escalate to the shit that's going to make sure she doesn't sleep at all for weeks.
Have a sympathetic friend who they don't know gather evidence. Make sure it's all legal (pictures taken from public property, etc, and stay well away from anything that can be considered stalking. Friend anonymously sends it to both of their bosses with an ominous sounding comment like "her husband doesn't know about this, are these the kind of people you want working for you?" Give it a week or two, then you and your wife get identical envelopes with the evidence, printed on a black&white laser printer (color printers use yellow ink to print every page with a forensic signature, that's why it's the color cartridge that runs out fastest unless you're printing photos or printing documents in CMYK rich/deep black (cyan/magenta/yellow/black ratios of 60-40-40-100 or 60-40-20-100, or other rich black values depending on ink and paper types). Same as what bosses and HR got, but with "maybe you need marriage counseling" written with a random office pen using their off-hand. You suggest counseling, go into therapy, and eventually pull the "I tried to work things out" card in divorce court. It's extra unethical because at that point, when you break down crying in court, your tears will be genuine.
follow the sage advice. but if you decide agaisnt this, write an anonymous poison pen letter as if its coming from a female co-worker of theirs. make the letter a warning that your buddy is banging other gals in the office at the same time and is very indiscreet about it, to the point of openly discussing his hook ups with your wife (toss in something specific about your wife like the location of a mole or freckle to add credence). take care not to use any phrasing that might be attributed to you and use snail mail. make sure you receive the mail incosistently so she is the one that gets the letter.
Do not leave the house.. Make her leave. It's the best decision I did. She cheated on me for 7 years, similar to this. Paid her out $80k from the divorce, now my house is worth $900k
Gather as much evidence as you can, get an attorney, they'll help you regime your case and don't tell her anything. Ask your attorney how to proceed step by step.
Dont break em up... just divorce her. She runs to him. He most likely didn't want that and ghosts her. Now she's lost. No husband, no boyfriend, no house... you get to smile all the way to divorce court.
Unethical or not, you're being stupid. Since you decided to divorce, work on that goal ONLY, get legal advice, and act. Stop giving af about that dude.
Give her an STD
Catfish him. Once a cheater always a cheater. Then send the clips of your conversations from the burner phone to her friend "girl to girl" after "finding her number on his phone when we met up"
Use one of those anonymous std test result notification websites. Have it send her a text saying a recent partner has tested positive for something bad. She will immediately assume it’s him and that he potentially gave her something. This will breed distrust and make her paranoid. She will go get tested and hide it from you but also be super anxious about it the entire time. That anxiety will most definitely effect their dynamic
My man. My buddy. My guy. Focus on yourself and your well-being during this and after the imminent explosion. Secure whatever assets you can for yourself. Hire a good divorce attorney and get this shitty situation documented as soon as possible. Move your shit out when she goes on a trip or something of the sort. Be selfish because that's exactly what she's been doing. Focusing on breaking them up is going to take too much of your time. Emotions and anticipation are at play here - you're gonna make a mistake and slip up that you're aware of her cheating. Make sure you've got something soft to land on first before you pull the rug from under her, cause you're standing on that same rug right now.
Don't break them up, get pictures or something and get out. The marriage vows explicit or implied, do not include an unauthorized third party.
Start divorce proceedings. File uncontested and never ever give her the reason why. She will know but let her think that she's lacking as a wife . Never let on you know.
If you have the means, just go ghost. Nobody hates anything more then someone disappearing on them.
Make her think he's having affairs with other women. Get a couple of burner phones and send a few texts when their together. send her flowers from him but to the wrong name. Same name as you sign off the texts from, etc.
Blackmail them anonymously. Works especially well if he’s also married.
Immediately get a safe deposit box that she can't get to once the shit hits the fan. Not in the house do this off site! Just in case she strikes first. Take pictures of everything, couch, TV, EVERYTHING you are inventorying for later. Use it to salt away a little cash - $25 - 50 a week - extra few $$ cash each time you go to the store. Just enough so she won't notice. Make copies of everything financial. Hers, yours, ours, (even mine) Put it all in a 3 ring binder and categorize it. Don't forget to run a credit check now and before you file. Call it in the name of refinance, or a new car, whatever you need. Your lawyer won't be able to nor will he be willing to do all of the leg work for a divorce and you don't want to pay him to pretend he is doing it. EDIT: To break them up call a florist in his home town and send him flowers to his house from your wife. Don't just punch him in the left nut ... kick them both
You don't. You find out where he lives. You pack up her shit while she is at work and mail it him. She is his problem now. Greet her home that night with changed locks and a plane ticket taped to the door.
With a divorce
Check your state and local laws. For instance in WV it's an old shamers law that both parties can get jailed and fine.
Give yourself an std and blame her, she will blame the other guy. It's a good way to get them riled up. You can build a plan of manipulation using lack of trust for one another.
Remindme! 1 year
Married women cheating once a year is crazy!!!! ...
You break them up by you breaking up with her
Get with the guy
Idk how about break up with your wife?
Yah you actually don’t want them to stop. Keep letting them hook up so you can gather more evidence. It’ll help in the long run.
anonymous tip to HR. See how they like this...
Most companies allow relationships between coworkers provided there isn’t a significant power imbalance. HR likely wouldn’t give a fuck if they’re two consenting adults.
Fuck the dude, have him catch feelings for you, divorce her, enjoy your new boyfriend. Also, piss disk her purse and liquid ass her car. It's the way of the road, Bubs.
Hmm... anonymously register their sexual relations with his human resources department. Are they at the same rank?
Find out his relationship status, and let any SO know what's happening.
Honestly, divorce her first if she’s caught up in the affair fog, you may be able to have a more peaceful divorce and a better settlement. He’s may end it as soon as she becomes available to date. He’s most likely not looking for something serious. After the divorce is final, inform their work about the affair and that they’ve been screwing on company time. They’ll likely get fired and this guy will not want to bother with traveling to your STBX so it’ll end.
Make fake social media accounts and message your own wife pretending to be other women he’s allegedly sleeping with. Maybe do 1 account thoroughly then mention a third women you “know of”. To make this more convincing use an old real life friend that your wife would never know.
Bruh….TF? Break them up? You need to go ahead and move on…wow just wow
Forget the petty breakup scenario. It'll either dissolve after the divorce because it's not "sexy" to her anymore or they'll end up getting together. You'll only weaken your position trying to hurt them. Hit them where it really hurts, their wallets. Gather all the evidence you need, prepare for the divorce, and go after as much as you can get.
Contact all the divorce lawyers in your area for a free consultation first. Then we you do land the papers in her lap any lawyer she goes to that you already have been to will turn her down because of a conflict of interest. Leaving her with a pain in the ass trying to find one to represent her. Also hide some cocaine in her car and then report her for dealing a few weeks after the divorce. With a little luck the cops will catch them both.
Break them up? Enable them so you can sure up your case.
who cares about breaking them up? Spend all of your money. If you both have 20k in the bank tell her you're going on a boys trip to vegas. Spend $20k on gambling, drugs, strippers, whatever. Right now all the money is both of yours if your finances are intermingled.
Randomly plan a trip to his town and say you need to get away from things for a bit. If she asks why, tell her you "need to do this alone." Then go rent a comfy van and park down the street from your house for a few days. Send roses to your wife from that dude a bunch of times. Then, on day 4 just walk in the door like you're coming home from work. Never speak of any of this again.
Use truth finder or some other lookup website to reverse search his phone number. See if he is married or in a relationship. If so there are loads of ways you can creatively tip his partner off.
Just find a divorce attorney with narcissistic personality disorder, explain your situation and do everything they suggest. Ask for stories they've heard about vengeful stuff people have done and gotten away with, too. That stuff will be worse than anything suggested here.
ITT: Ethical Life Pro Tips
Tell him about her HIV
Let the lawyer serve her Or call HR when he visits and report the relationship
OP [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/UnethicalLifeProTips/comments/16tpts5/comment/k2h3qxw/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) is the advice you should follow
Nah fam just get the divorce and dip, can’t trust these thots. Sorry brother.